Dlisted: 10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Perfect Way to Wash Down a Krispy Kreme Hamburger!

Deep fried coke! Sounds delicious right. I'm sure one bite will send you into a sugary seizure. The North Carolina State Fair features this diabetes in a glass desert.

So, how do they make it? Well, they mix funnel-cake batter with coke and then deep fry it. They stuff it into a coke can and then sprinkle powdered sugar, whipped cream and coke syrup on it.

Britney Spears has probably already ordered a year supply.


Too Much Fug For One Post

What is the purpose of these two? Scott Storch is a successful music bitch, so I'll give him that. Nicky Hilton has to be one of the ugliest girls in the room. Even with all that rich plastered on her, she's still working for the fug. A face like that should be pumping gas at a station in the middle of nowhere. She looks like on of the monsters in The Hills Have Eyes.

These two found themselves stinking up the front row at Heatherette last night in Miami which isn't hard to do.

Hot Slut of the Month: Anna Nicole Smith

Anna Nicole Smith wasted her competition and garnered 50% of your votes to become Dlisted's Hot Slut of September.

Thanks to all who voted!

The McConagay Bulge

That shit looks kind of weird. His berries look bigger than the twig and I'm not into that shit. Yeah, it's wet and he could be a grower....that being said, I'd still hit it.



Nicole Kidman brought back the hotness at the Rome Film Festival last night. The wig is a little much, but she does have good fake hair. I'll give her that. The body, the face, it all looks hot.

Gaying with the Stars

This is Joey Lawrence's performance on last week's dancing with the stars. This makes Mario Lopez's appearance on Nip/Tuck look majorly butch.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Amy Grant

Birthday Sluts

Usher (28)
Stacy Kiebler (28)
Natalie Maines (33)
Jon Seda (36)
Steve Coogan (41)
Lori Petty (43)
Isaac Mizrahi (45)
Ralph Lauren (68)
Roger Moore (79)

Friday, October 13, 2006

Those Celebrities are Such Giving People!

Celebrities take time out of their busy schedules of snorting coke and falling off bar tables in order to give to others. Reese Witherspoon attended the Children's Defense Fund Awards that celebrates kids that have beaten poverty and violence for a better life.

Leonardo DiCaprio took time out from filming in Mozambique to work with orphans. Leo gave them jobs sewing his clothes and shining his shoes. Just kidding, they were extras on his movie!

Beyonce posed with orphans from Nigeria where she was performing with her boyfriend, Jay-Z.

Madonna's rep confirmed that she will be adopting a one-year old boy named Daniel after days of speculation.

Lastly, there's Project Runway's Nina Garcia. I know she's not actually with orphans or those less fortunate, but this is probably her idea of charity: giving copies of Elle to young girls. Great, so now these girls can immediately start starving themselves and wearing extensions.

ICYMI: Babs Curses Out a Fan

Thx kittykhatt

How Do You Say "Botox" in French?

There's not a wrinkle on Belinda Carlisle and that's sad. She's botoxed her face fug. She's seen here performing in Moscow yesterday. She will release her all French language album next year. The album called "Voila!" will feature covers of famous French songs. Massive Attack and Portishead are producing some of the tracks.

Belinda moved to France shortly after The Go-Go's broke up.

Visit Stereogum to hear a horrendous version of Serge Gainsbourg's Bonnie & Clyde. Bitch even does English words in a French accent.


Keeping Your Bra on During Sex

I'm not a chick and I don't have breasts, but I would think that a bra is quite uncomfortable. All the girls I know always can't wait to take that thing off. Jenny McCarthy wants to keep it on during sex. She can't stand her tits and think they are fug.

"I do have a C-section scar that goes right across with the shelf that hangs over. I've got stretch marks. After childbirth, boobs hang down. I will not have sex without my bra. I can't stand it when they just slither past my arms and lay flat like pancakes... I'm insecure with the rest of them."

Jenny is currently dating Jim Carrey and I'm sure he doesn't mind some saggy tits. I mean look at him. She says sex with Jim is great though.

Do you think he does his best Fire Marshall Bill when he's eating her out?


Pic: Superior Forums

Afternoon Crumbs

Big Bird had that - Hollywood Tuna

Nicky Hilton needs interview lessons - Mollygood

Gap gets their period - Popsugar

They make thongs for infants? - Just Jared

Howard Stern makes Erica Durance cry - Egotastic!

Jessica Alba gets married - IDLYITW

Chestica Simpson drove Nick to hit the bottle - Hollywood Rag

Linda Evangelista pops one out and this time she got out of bed for free - Celebrity Nation

Justin Timberlake used to hit this fug face - The Bastardly

Joan Rivers thinks Mel Gibson should die - ONTD

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the nose. Nobody got it this time, but I'm not sure if a lot of you know who this chick is. She's hot though.

Panty Creamer of the Day: Borat in Amsterdam

Sienna Miller Denies She's a Bitch

Old pic, but it shows what a nasty slag she is

Sienna Miller and the city of Pittsburgh aren't getting along these days. She called the city "Shittsburgh" and then proceeded to throw a tantrum on the streets after she was denied an alcoholic beverage at a local bar.

Sienna claims she didn't act like a total fool.

"I wholeheartedly refute the allegations that I in any way acted in an inappropriate manner when asked for identification at this bar. I was asked to provide ID, and since I didn't have any with me, I was told I couldn't be served and asked to leave. I had no problem with this and my family and I left calmly without any further exchange of words."

The owner responded,

"I can't compete against a famous actress, but I can tell you one thing - I'm not a liar - she is."

I believe him. Bitch is a liar, because there's no way that old hag is 25. She just doesn't want to show her ID, because it states that she's 40. I really hope the city of Pittsburgh gets together on this Friday the 13th and beats her so hard, her weave will run for the hills.


What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Grace Jones probably sneaked into this art opening in London. I think she bought this get-up at an auction for Dracula 2000. Have you ever seen that movie? It's so beat, but Vitamin C is hot.

Anyway, you know this ho wasn't invited. She saw free cheap champagne and quickly found a way in. That hat doubles as a pot holder.


The "Who Cares?" News!!

I think we get it. John Mark Karr is a freak. He's still a fashion icon though.

Sara Evans' husband prefers porn to her ass. I don't blame him.

Baseball fans are hardcore. They made Kid Rock change his hat.

Usher gets strep throat from sucking too much dick and is forced to leave Chicago.

Cocker Spaniel Hair

Blohan actually looked kind of fat at the T-Mobile Sidekick 3 party in Los Angeles last night. I will say it's nice to see her a little more healthy looking. She still has coke eyes, but hey - we can't have it all? The new hair color is on the fug side though. That ratty thing looks damaged to hell.

In other Blohan news, Tara Reid recently said this:

"Lindsay Lohan reminds me of a younger version of me."

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. At least Lindsay gets her plastic surgery from a real surgeon and not from some random dude she met in a Mexican alley way.


Nicole Kidman is Not Knocked Up

Unless, she's carrying the smallest baby ever...Nicole Kidman is not pregnant. She showed up to the 1st Annual Rome Film Festival in a size 0. She was there to promote her new film "Fur".

She confirmed this by telling reporters, "I am not pregnant. I will say right now, I am not pregnant."

In other Nicky news, she apparently phoned up Katie Holmes to give her blessing.

"Nicole has made sure that she has told Katie how pleased she is [Katie and Tom are] getting married. She's alleviated some of Katie's worries about what it's like being married to Tom and urged her to go ahead with the wedding. Nicole usually minds her own business, but she made an exception in this case."

Like Nicky gives a fig. She's probably just glad she's not married to that crazy loon anymore. Shit, she's actually getting laid for once!


Warning to Toasters: Mel Gibson Will Choke You!!!

Mel Gibson's Good Morning America interview finished today with Mel talking about the remarks he made when he was arrested for DUI. Basically, he said a lot of bullshit. He also admitted that once he got home from jail, he got wasted again. Lovely.

"I just went home and saw my kids were there. I talked to them for a little bit. And it was a little rough that morning and I chased it down with a few cold ones. It was kind of unbearable to face. I said, 'Well, this is it. This will be the end of it, but I just have to get through this morning.' "You're not operating well, but you know you have to do something."

What a fantastic role model his kids, he is. It is a good way to fix a hangover though, I'll give him that. Mel also blamed his rant on his workload and his "inner rage."

"I guess I must have been a little overwrought. Too much pressure, too much work. You do things that go against good judgment. A few drinks later, and I was in the back of a police car wailing. "I've been angry all my life and I try not to have it manifest itself. I can murder inanimate objects. You should see me choking the toaster in the morning!"

I think by "toaster" he meant a Jewish person.

I actually think this interview made shit worse. I thought he was crazy to begin with, but now I just think his brains have turned to mush from the booze.


Dallas is Falling A Part!

The feature film version of "Dallas" is completely unraveling. The movie is getting a complete overhaul and the entire cast has been let go except for John Travolta. Robert Harling's script is currently being tweaked and current director, Gurinder Chadha, will make the decision if she's staying or not when the new cast is assembled.

Jennifer Lopez had originally been attached to play Sue Ellen, but left before shooting was to begin. Meg Ryan was currently in talks to take over, but talks have ended. Katie Cassidy, Luke Wilson and Shirley MacLaine are also out of the picture.

These changes have been made to cut the $65 million budget. They are recasting with cheaper actors and hope to begin filming this January.

Cheaper actors? Isn't Meg Ryan pretty budget? Shit, they are going to end up with Tara Reid, Suzanne Somers and Chyna Doll. Actually, that would be kind of hot.


I Didn't Even Notice

It's in the eyes!

Pic: A Socialite's Life

Thx Jackie

Somebody's Trying to Kill Hilary Duff!

Hilary Duff and her fug boyfriend, Joel Madden, have filed restraining orders in Los Angeles yesterday against two men they claim are stalking their asses. The pair feel threatened and have seeked protection. The men include one homeless dude and a paparazzi.

One of the men has been named as Max Doe and claims he moved here from Russia for the sole purpose of getting sexy with Hilary. Her teefs are big enough that he could've got sexy with those things FROM Russian. No flying necessary.

Max became obsessive and threatened to kill himself if he wasn't with Hilary. His roommate, David Joseph Klein, has also been named. He helped give Max's notes to Hilary.

This statement was released:
"Over the past six weeks, the defendants have engaged in an accelerated effort to make contact with Hilary, including visits to her neighborhood, to her mother's home, to her boyfriend's neighborhood…to Mr. Madden's concert venue, and direct calls to Hilary's manager."

Who would want to stalk her nasty ass? He needs help for that very reason. Hilary should put those chompers to work and bite him in the bagina.


She Wasn't Going to Win Anyway

Dancing with the Stars contestant, Sara Evans, has quit the competition due to personal reasons. Sara, a country music star, was a part of the final 6. She just filed for divorce from her husband yesterday. She wants to commit her full time to her children and family.

A statement was released:

"Ms. Evans hopes her fans and TV viewers ... will respect and understand her need for privacy in the face of these recent events."

She will make her last appearance on Tuesday night.

She should've used this to get more votes! Pity votes are the way to go. Oh well, she wasn't going to win anyway.


The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for October 12th!!!

This bear's career took a downward spiral after being fired from the Chuck E Cheese band. - whirled peas


Question: Does this concert suck?
Answer: Does a Bear Shit in the Woods - ohmy

Hot Slut of the Day!

Katey Segal

Birthday Sluts

Sacha Baron Cohen (35)
Ashanti (26)
Billy Bush (35)
Nancy Kerrigan (37)
Tisha Campbell (38)
Rob Schneider (41)
Kelly Preston (44)
Marie Osmond (47)
Sammy Hagar (59)
Paul Simon (65)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Which Bitch Would You Hit?

Rosie O, Babs and Hotness at the Babs concert 10/11

Shanna, Please Beat Her Ass Already!

While promoting Smirnoff Ice's Artic Berry (Hey a bitch has got to make a living), Shanna Moakler again spoke out about Parasite Hilton. She claims she didn't punch the ho and there are no restraining orders against. I just want her to beat her damn skank ass already! Let's get this one!

This is Shanna: "I don't think she's a good person."

This is Me: "I agree, now beat her ass!"

This is Shanna: "
She makes a lot of money pulling these stunts in the media."

This is Me: "Ok, right again...beat her ass please?!"

This is Shanna:
"I'm not the one getting DUIs."

This is Me: "Since when? Oh and beat her ass!"

This is Shanna:
"I'm not the one in police stations. It's all juvenile and stupid."

This is Me: "Less gab more stab! Beat her ass!"


Michael K on MySpace

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