Dlisted: 09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Ken Paves Salon Opens!!!

The Ken Paves salon opened in Beverly Hills last night and it was all about Jessica Simpson making an ass out of herself. Bitch is on drugs, because she acted the fool. She's pulling a Britney Spears face above. Carmen Electra and a newly single Eva LongWHORIA were also on hand to celebrate with their "mane" man.

All It Takes is One Bite

Paris at the 10-year anniversary of Tao in Las Vegas

That snake could've easily become the World's Greatest Hero!

They Are All Screwing Each Other

When Nick Carter learned that his girlfriend at the time, Paris Hilton, cheated on him with Chad Michael Murray, he got revenge. He immediately hooked up with Asshole Simpson. Are these bitches twelve years old?

Nick told Page Six:

"I'd fallen head over heels with this chick. Then, all of a sudden, three months go by and I got people telling me, 'Nick, you know what Paris is doing to you,' and I got a little upset," Carter related. "So then I just decided to fight back a little bit and started doing my own thing again. The result is I hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. When Paris came back from Australia, they talked to each other and she found out about it.

"So I brought it up to her and said, 'You know what I did, and now it's your turn. Why don't you tell me what you did.' And she goes, 'I never did anything! I never cheated on you.' I had kind of started to really like Ashlee and I was thinking about the dating stage, then, before you know it [bleep]ing bitch-face comes back."

Nick is dropping bombs left and right to promote her new reality show, House of Carters. Nick's brother, Aaron, also apparently hooked up with Paris right after her break-up with Nick.

Debbie Rowe Should Use the Money to Get Her Fug Face Fixed!!!

Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe have settled their custody dispute over their two children. Jacko's attorney would not comment on what the monetary amount was. This started in 2003 when Debbie sued for custody rights after Jacko's molestation trial.

"We're still dealing with the details but it addresses all of the disputes between the parties," said attorney Marta Almli. "I can't say anything about the terms of the settlement but I don't think it would have happened if both parties didn't agree it was appealing to both of them."

"It is the settlement of all the issues," Almli said. Jackson's lawyer, Michael L. Abrams, did not immediately return phone calls from The Associated Press. He told The Daily Journal, a legal newspaper, "My client is very satisfied with the results. Hopefully (Jackson and Rowe) can both get on with their lives now and be through with this litigation."

Let's keep it real, bitch just wants money. She doesn't give a fuck about her kids. Wait, is Blanket one of hers? Blanket is hot shit.


Because it's Saturday and There's No News

Eva LongWHORIA and Tony Parker have split. A source said:

"They did break up. It's amicable. They are talking and trying to figure the best course of action for their future. They are trying to work things out."

"It's distance and demanding careers and not living in same city. It didn't happen yesterday. It's been going on for a while."

Oh God. Now Eva is going to go on every talk show talking about how she's celibate, but sexually frustrated. How she uses household products to pleasure herself, because she can't find a man. Blah Blah Blah. Ugh!


Hot Slut of the Day!

from Laguna Beach

Birthday Sluts

Monica Bellucci (42)
Lacey Chabert (24)
Kieran Culkin (24)
Jenna Elfman (35)
Eric Stoltz (45)
Crystal Bernard (45)
Fran Drescher (49)
Angie Dickinson (75)
Deborah Kerr (85)

Friday, September 29, 2006

The Whores Have Eyes

What is wrong with her?!

Get this bitch help!

She's crazy in the eyes!

BREAKING: A Crazy Beaver Tried to Ass Rape Sharon Stone!

Sharon showing the ass at Macy's Passport Gala on 9/29

Sharon Stone is fucking nuts! What the hell is this bitch wearing? I can't even figure that shit out. It looks like a tuxedo shirt with tails and why is she running across the stage? I'm confused, but I have a feeling she is too.


Celebrities are Odd

Eva LongWHORIA and Tony Parker are going through problems in their relationship and they have issued a statement to let us know:

"Eva and Tony are going through a very difficult time right now, just like any other couple with extremely demanding careers."


Next thing you know they are going to release a statement that Eva took a shit and it had corn in it.

We get it bitch, you need pr.


Afternoon Crumbs

The sick thing is, I'd eat it - Junk Food Blog

Mama Knowles cuts it short - Concrete Loop

Hilary Swank is a cheap horse - Hollywood Rag

Natalie Portman's "closer" nip slip - Egotastic!

Tom Cruise is a midget - Cityrag

The dude who found Blohan's shit doesn't even get a thanks - SOW

Jude Law looks beat and used - Just Jared

Vadge has a lot of money - Popsugar

Colgate calls Jessica Alba the most kissable - Hollywood Tuna

Beyonce voted best booty - IDLYITW

Name that nipple - Mollygood

Dirty. Drunk. Nasty. Pink

Dennis Rodman donned a pink, small, Playboy camisole in Las Vegas last night. He partied with friends at Tangerine where he took part in their burlesque show. He danced around the room with female guests and took off his cute little shirt during a striptease.

I'm sure Carmen Electra is missing this man. Ugh, he's so sick. He looks like he's been living on the streets. The sad thing is, he needs to do shit like this to get attention. Unfortunately it's not enough and I need more. I think he should have a sex change operation on camera. He then could get a job as Serena Williams' body double.


Falling Off the Hill

Adam Ant is no longer hot. He now looks like he needs an IV and some orange juice, possibly a cookie, but only chocolate chip. I checked around to see if he has some dreadful disease and apparently he is just depressed and losing his hair. He has a new book out and if this author thing doesn't work he can always hook up with Michael Stipe and play the hospice circuit.

Suri Cruise is a Trendsetter!

Celebrities wigs designed for babies is taking the world by storm. Suri Cruise has started a fashion trend that won't stop. You can buy your little bundle of joy his or her own Bob Marley wig or perhaps a Samuel L. Jackson wig from Pulp Fiction. For the girls, there's a pink Lil' Kim wig. Of course, no wig collection would be complete without The Donald!

This is all fine and dandy, but you better make sure that the carpets match the drapes. I'm sure pubic wigs for babies are also in the works.

Click here
to buy!

Source VIA Defamer

The "Who Cares?" News!!

McConagay goes shirtless again, but this time it's not hot!

Anna Nicole and Howard didn't get married, but had some non-legally binding ceremony. Anna doesn't know this though, cause she's fucked up on pills.

Harry Morton paid Blohan to date him? There's an MTV show in there somewhere.

Charlie Sheen gets a big, fat raise and fortunately Denise won't see a dime of it!

A Couple That Spits Together Stays Together

Over the past few days, Avril Lavigne has launched a spitting war with the paparazzi. Two nights ago, Avril spit at two photographers hitting both of them. When the photographer complained to the cops, the cop shrugged and told him to call the LAPD. Last night, at the opening of Area in Los Angeles, Avril's hubby, Deryck Whibley, joined his trash wife and hawked a mean at a photog, hitting him in the glasses.

Spitting is illegal in the US, but who cares right? The paps though should stage a strike and stop taking pictures of them even at events. I bet you they would change their tune.

That paps love it too, cause it gives them material.

Ugh, these are so sick. I bet their spit smells like bacon. They are from Canada.


Former Beauty Queen?!

Liza at An Evening with Liza on 9/28 in London

Liza Minelli will guest star on an upcoming Law & Order. People still watch that?

Liza, 59, will play a former beauty queen whose daughter an aspiring beauty queen, was found murdered on Halloween night. Her episode is currently shooting and will be shown in November on NBC.

Former beauty queen?! They had that shit in the 1800s? I'm just playing, homegirl looks um...well..she looks!


Pink Triangle

Pink performs in Zurich on September 27th

Pink will bond with her fellow gays and lesbians and encourage people to come out of the closet. She is lending her image and voice to the Human Right's National Coming Out Day this week. Pink is married to Carey Hart, but has dabbled into chick sex before.

The HRC president said: "Pink is one of millions of straight Americans who supports fairness and honesty for everyone - GLBT or straight.

"This project will show the faces of countless Americans who support openness over painful silence and isolation. Young people who are afraid to come out will see these pictures and faces and know that they are not alone."

She should follow her own advice and come the hell out herself!


Paris Hilton Cleans Carpets?!

No it isn't what you think. Well, I'm sure she's munched on a few carpets, but according to Nick Carter she got on her hands and knees and cleaned his apartment carpets. Why?! He claims that she did this to show her love for him and that she could be a loving wife.

"In the very beginning, you know, she was literally cleaning my carpet in my apartment . . . trying to act all domesticated. And then, before you know it, a month or two goes by and it's back to the old nose up in the air and who are you?"

I actually wished those two stayed together, because they are both lame. Nick also claims that she tried to destroy him. I don't think she did it intentionally, but her vagina is so diseased that it can cause harm and destruction.

Nick also claims that he lost his virginity to Debra Lafave, the women that fucked her own 13-year-old student. This explains everything. Not really, but I thought it would be good to say that here.


Clapping for an Empty Stage?

Access Hollywood reports that even though we're told Dancing with the Stars is completely live, it isn't. The dances are pre-taped and the audience is forced to clap for an empty stage. Seriously, this shit is weird. Hosts, Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris are forced to deliver their introduction for each dancer and then throw it to an empty stage. The audience is then shot giving a standing ovation to a dance they haven't seen. This apparently has only happened the last couple of weeks.

Also when interviewed after their dances, the celebrities are told to look like they just come offstage when they've really been in the back room the entire time.

The video above is Vivica Fox doing her best mannequin impression while waddling through the tango. She's my favorite, because ho is keeping it real at 40 or whatever the hell she says all the time.


MK Olsen Looks Hot

Mary-Kate Olsen could use a shower, a hairbrush and some Fabreeze, but I still think this ho looks so much hotter than a lot of the other cookie-cutter bitches out there. Yes, she's a wreck and she probably stinks of Reds and old milk...but come on. How can you not love a girl that is into jerky?

On a recent stop at JFK airport in NYC, MK was seen buying beef jerky among other things.

A source said: "They took forever, buying a big bag of beef jerky, three large rolls of LifeSavers, two packs of gum and a copy of every tabloid magazine."

Ok, she smells.


Michael K on MySpace

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