Dlisted: 09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Beauty and Two Beasts

I know Lil' Kim isn't actually a beauty, but compared to Kimora Lee Simmons and Janice Combs...she's a fucking supermodel. Kimora is like the Jolly Chocolate Tranny and Janice looks like Diddy in a wig by Ken Paves.

These three messes met up at the Baby Phat fashion show in NYC on September 8th.

KFed is a True Thespian!

I'm thinking that KFed isn't studying his lines, he's trying to read his damn lines because white trash slut don't know how to read! Here's our favorite panty creamer on the set of CSI where he plays a thug. Yeah, that's a stretch. His episode which is called "Fannysmackin" debuts on CBS October 12th.

Looks like the Emmy winner of Guest Star in a Drama Series has a new frontrunner!


I'm Into This

Plot: Turning her back on her wealthy, established family, Diane Arbus falls in with Lionel Sweeney, an enigmatic mentor who introduces Arbus to the marginalized people who help her become one of the most revered photographers of the twentieth century.

Stars: Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey Jr. & Jane Alexander
Director: Steven Shainberg
Due: November 10, 2006

Alien Head

Natalie Portman at an Elle Mag party in London September 7th

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sherman Hemsley

For Phonked

Birthday Sluts

Hugh Grant (46)
Michelle Williams (26)
Goran Visnjic (34)
Henry Thomas (35)
Rachel Hunter (37)
Adam Sandler (40)
Tom Wopat (55)
Michael Keaton (55)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Brad Pitt Makes Up Excuses to Marry Angie

Brad Pitt is joining Charlize Theron in refusing to get married in America until the marriage rights change.

He told Esquire: "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."

As a gay bitch, that's pretty noble of him and others should stand up too. Part of me is kinda glad I can't get married legally, because honestly my scandalous ass would've been married and divorced like 6 times.

Oh and Maddox put him up to this.

Viva Maddox!


Afternoon Crumbs

Paris Hilton most likely gave her arresting officer a few bumps before he filled out the report - Mollygood

Are Penny and Matthew going to re-sign their contract? - Popsugar

Posh and Becks set Venice into a frenzy - A Socialite's Life

Celebrity hair twins - Cityrag

Xtina knows her first child will be a boy - Hollywood Rag

Elizabeth Hurley is about to pop out - Egotastic!

Mos Def getting arrested at the VMAs - Concrete Loop

TomKat are planning a wedding - Just Jared

Blohan's pussy-shot pictures are real - IDLYITW

Carmen Electra gets some fashion sense - Hollywood Tuna

50 Cent: Arrested - TMZ

Image Source

Wonky Eye Gets a Barker

What happened to this celibate bullshit? Wonk Eye Hilton hit Hyde last night following her DUI arrest the night before. She showed up in the passenger seat of her spokeswhore's car. She also donned a black wig, because her extensions got covered in jizz from all the action she gave to the cops the night before. Getting jizz out of polyester is a bitch!

She was also photographed sort of kissing Travis Baker. He's freshly single and ready to get some open chocha and that's Wonk's middle name! There goes that not getting any action for a year shit.


Beyonce in a Banana Skirt?

Beyonce has indeed lost her mind. She wore this little doozy at last night's Fashion Rocks concert which will be on TV tonight. House of Dereon put out another winner. All she's missing is a pineapple on her head and a monkey with a tambourine on her shoulder!

Vintage Ben Affleck

He was so much cooler then...

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Esquire is really milking this whole "Guess the Sexiest Woman Alive" thing...

Paris Hilton is back to boozing! This time she went out with a wig, because maybe just maybe if she gets pulled over this time they'll book her as somebody else. She's so slick.

Big Brother: All-Stars is going to end on the shittiest note ever!

Shanna Moakler claims she was faithful to Travis Barker and by faithful she means she didn't take it in the butt more than twice in one night.

She Gets the Chulapa and Dips it in Butter

Britney Spears skipped the hospital yesterday and instead headed to Taco Bell to get some pintos and cheese. There were published reports that Britney was going to pop Jailynn yesterday, but she popped something else instead. She loves her some Taco Bell. I bet she has major skid marks in her cotton panties.


It's Fashion Week!

Last night was the Conde Nast Fashion Rocks concert to kick off Fashion Week in New York. The stars came out in their worst to strike a pose and mingle with the coke heads of fashion.

Nelly Furtado was beamed up from Pluto. She came to represent the demoted planet and fight for their rights!

Two turtles and a tranny walk into a bar....

Mischa Barton, we get it! You want to be Mia Farrow.

Fergie IN I Dream of Depends.

Denise Richards is seriously a housewife from Orange County. People talk about Suri Cruise not being real. This is the real fake bitch in the house. I dare you to try and name one thing on this broad that's real.

Ok, Xtina looks hot.

Carrot Top lightened his hair! I have no idea who that is, but I'm scared.

Denise Richards & Richie Sambora are Engaged!

Star Magazine is claiming that a source close to Denise Richards and Richie Sambora confirmed that the pair are engaged. Denise only split from Charlie Sheen a few months ago and Richie the same with Heather Locklear. The two are said to be madly in love and hoping to make it legal before the end of this year.

The source said: "Denise is head over heels in love with Richie. She says he's the perfect guy for her — and that she's never so looked forward to the future."

Denise's pr whore denies the story.

I love these "sources". The source is probably Denise's hairdresser's father's uncle's priest's lawyer's nurse's escort's grandmother's fiancee's drug dealer's ferret.

Good Job Scooby Doo: Blohan's Bag Found!

Yesterday, a tearful Lindsay Blohan was comforted by her boyfriend after her orange Hermes bag containing $1 million was stolen from her at London's Heathrow Airport. This morning Scotland Yard has announced the bag has been found, but there's no word yet if any items were taken.

They said: "A member of the public contacted us to say they had found it and brought it in. We have not yet established what, if anything, is missing."

Ok, if there's nothing missing then either this shit is fake or the person that stole is a retard. I'm guessing homegirl was high as a kite and left that shit in the bathroom stall.


The Decoy Suri

Earlier this week the first pictures of Suri Cruise hit newsstands on the cover of Vanity Fair. To some this ended months of speculation that she didn't exist. Tom Cruise revealed that in order to protect his daughter they tricked photographers with a fake Suri. Ok, this is funny.

A doll was created to look like Suri.

I'm confused, because TomKat was seen out a lot but without the baby. So, when was the doll used or is this the doll now?

Seriously, the doll was probably used to trick Katie Holmes into thinking she actually had a baby while Tom and company were in Hong Kong picking out the real Suri. Katie hardly noticed the pillow under her shirt, but bitch isn't that dumb to not notice a baby.

I'm playing, I believe that's the real Suri and I'm getting hell for it! Tom is a loon and doesn't know what the hell he's saying.


Michael K on MySpace

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