Has Beyonce Lost Her Damn Mind?

This is the single cover to Beyonce's next crappy song, Ring the Alarm. Unfortunately, those alligators were probably on ludes or I'd wish that they snap her ass. In case you haven't seen it, here's the awful video that goes with it.

Somebody get Matthew Knowles away from her ass.

Chestica Simpson is "Special"

Chestica Simpson wears some glasses that should've never been made as she whores her album out in Philadelphia.

I'd love to see her close her mouth completely for at least 5 seconds. I'm sure the door to the hidden city would open.

Ewww, Maggie is so FAT!

Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal probably going to get Mexican food for her fat ass in NYC on August 23rd

Calm down I know she's knocked up!

McConagay is Cheating on Lance

Is this dude like a man of the sea? Is he a merman or something? I swear he like lives on the beach and he never wears clothes. I bet you his real job is giving those annoying hair braids on the beach.

Anyway, he was photographed pretending to some kiss some girl. He's trying to make Lance jealous. They had a spat, because Lancey didn't give Mattey the lead in his biopic.

[Splash]

The New Miss Teen USA is a Genius

Katie Blair, Miss Montana, was crowned Miss Teen USA 2006 on August 15th. This whore must've sucked all the judges off to win, because she obviously didn't win with her smarts.

Here was her winning question and answer:

"Miss Montana, what does integrity mean to you."

This dumb bitch said: "To me, integrity is someone who knows what their goals are and goes for them. Integrity is someone who doesn't let anyone stand in their way of accomplishing what they want."

I see how they do it in the MT! Fuck brains when you have no gag reflex!

Is He Going to Play a Corpse?

KFed is on a roll! He made his National TV debut at the Teen Choice Awards this past week and now he will make his TV acting debut this October. He will star on the top-rated show CSI.

As Federline tells PEOPLE while on the set of the CBS show, "This is pretty much my first time acting. It's the first time I've actually had a speaking role." He adds that the offer came about quickly. "I was doing stuff for the Teen Choice Awards," he says, "and got the call while we were rehearsing and I pissed in my pants! I was excited right off the bat. It's the only show that I really, really watch."

Federline, 28, started shooting his part in Los Angeles on Thursday night. He will play a menacing, arrogant teen who harasses investigators Nick Stokes (George Eads) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) on a job. The episode is tentatively scheduled to air in October.

Do I smell an Emmy?! Let's hope this leads to other acting gigs. I hear that they still haven't cast the lead role in Hamlet for Shakespeare in the Park?

[People]

The Photoshop Awards: Janet Jackson in FHM

[ONTD]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Danielle from Big Brother 7

Birthday Sluts

Macaulay Culkin (26)
Thalia (34)
Shirley Manson (40)
Wanda De Jesus (46)
Branford Marsalis (46)
Barbert Schroeder (65)

TomKat Goes to a Meeting

These photos are from a meeting Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went to yesterday. They are in Los Angeles, but Katie's blood is so cold from being drugged that she must wear a winter coat to keep her warm. I'm thinking they were going to a meeting to see how their robot baby is coming along.

What kind of conditioner does Tom use? His hair looks so soft. Jizz, right?

The Pussycat Dolls "Don't Need a Man"

This is the latest video from PCD called "I Don't Need a Man."

They don't need one, because they already are men. Bada bump!

[Thx Vic]

Reichen is Thinking About Dollar Signs

Lance Bass & Reichen at Social on August 23rd



[Celebrities.com]

JLo Isn't Knocked Up

JLo is calling Jesse McCartney a liar and denying she's knocked up. Jesse told reporters that JLo wasn't fired from Dallas, but that she quit because she's pregnant. Jesse is currently dating Katie Cassidy who is featured in the movie.

A source said: "Jesse McCartney doesn'’t even know Jennifer. His girlfriend has never even met Jennifer. She just got cast in the movie after Jennifer was already out. Jennifer is shooting the cover of a high fashion magazine. Do you think she could wear couture if she was pregnant?"

Um, that's what photoshop is for! JLo's rep also denies the claim.

So bitch was just fired I guess.

[Us Weekly]

Crayons are hot!

by Lahoma00

I loved this segment when they showed it on Sesame Street. I hope it teaches us all to paint with the colors of the wind. Gross.

Afternoon Crumbs

Harry Morton is hittin that - Egotastic!

A Victoria Silvstedt history lessons - A Socialite's Life

Eva LongWHORIA wants to be taken seriously - Hollywood Rag

The Mel Gibson commemorative tee - Cityrag

Jake Gyllenhaal is such a ladies man -Popsugar

The low-rent Pussycat Dolls are blowing up the charts - Concrete Loop

Who the hell is Lucy Pinder? - Hollywood Tuna

Kelly Brook is the best bod of the decade - IDLYITW

Brad Pitt and Matt Damon in hats - Just Jared

Chestica Simpson has a lot of rules - Mollygood

Janice Dickinson Has the Grossest Boobs

Janice Dickinson and her wonky boobs at a SF Fashion Week Event at the Clift Hotel on August 24th

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Sesame Street is forcing the Cookie Monster to eat fruit from now ib. We already have a fruit monster...his name is Tom Cruise.

Elizabeth Taylor will get really mad if you put her in cheap seats, but she probably won't be mind if you put her near the hot dog cart.

Meat Loaf knows how to curse with the best of em!

Sumner Redstone's wife had something to do with the Cruise getting the boot.

The Spores is My Favorite New Band!

Nicole Richie and Brody Jennfer leaving Mr. Chows on August 23rd

I really want this to be the truth, but apparently Nicole Richie went to see a band called The Spores at The Viper Room in West Hollywood. Once she sat down and the band noticed her, comedy ensued.

Popbitch reports:

After an altercation with a photographer, Nicole went to drown her sorrows in the Viper Room, where LA art-pop band The Spores were playing. Sadly for Nicole, the band spotted her diving into a booth and used their trademark on-stage puppets to take the piss out of her inability to afford food, culminating in one of the puppets saying, "I screwed Nicole Ritchie... and wrapped my whole dick around her waist." Nicole stormed out telling doormen that she was going to sue.

Oh and what ever band member has the dick that can go around her waist, call me!

Got Becks?

Here's a scan of David Beckham's new Got Milk ad overseas. Don't be nasty, but that looks like jizz. He's still the hotness.

[Thx Pierra]

Eddie Murphy Really Really Wants Scary Spice

Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown and Eddie Murphy have been dating since this past June. Eddie is so enamored with the fallen pop star that he has proposed to her. A friend of the couple claims they are currently shopping around and looking for the perfect ring. The pair also each got a tattoo with the other's name last month.

Eddie recently divorced his wife, Nicole, in April. The couple has five kids. Melanie has a daughter from a previous marriage.

I like this couple. Eddie digs the trannies and Melanie is probably cool enough to strap on. A match made in freaky sex heaven!

[Post Chronicle]

I'm Disappointed in the Sharks

Sharks everywhere had the perfect opportunity for a serious meal! Well in serious I mean a rubbery and bitter piece of saggy flesh.

Fishsticks Paltrow was perfect bait as she surfed near her husband, Chris Martin's, parents home in Cornwall, England.

Damn you sharks! At least why couldn't a jelly fish sting her in the ass!? Anything?!

[Daily Mail]

Why Isn't Britney a Supermodel?

This is the two-dolla question! Britney Spears is so good at posing with different objects that she should really replace Gisele Bundchen as the top model in the World. Here's our girl at the Primary's Action's and Adwil Agency's Emmy Suite on August 24th. She is posing for anything and everything just to get some free shit.

Doesn't she totally look like Gwen Stefani with that top hat on? God, she's a beautiful person.









[Thx Lindz]

Potato Sack and Potato Face

I'm not sure what a "potato face" is, but it seemed fitting for Kiki Dunst. She showed off her impeccable style as she picked up Mexican food with her friend on August 20th in Los Angeles.

Her bean farts could probably kill small children.

William H. Macy is One Hot Ho

William H. Macy's wife, Felicity Huffman, just finished shooting Georgia Rule which stars Lindsay Blohan and Jane Fonda. During shooting, the CEO of Morgan Creek wrote Blohan a letter in which he basically tore her a new one for always being late and pretending to be sick.

He said: "“Felicity says she'’s a huge talent. That girl can act. But you can'’t show up late. It'’s very, very disrespectful."

"I think what an actor has to realize, when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. There is not an apology big enough in the world to make 150 people scramble. It'’s inexcusable. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they'’re God'’s gift to the film and it's inexcusable. They should have their asses kicked."”

"I worry about these young kids ,15, 18, 20 years old who in the span of one year become millionaires and powerhouses. It's too much power for a kid that age to handle."

He also added that she should've been canned.

I find it strange that he was even asked that question? How annoying that must be when you have to talk about your wife's co-star. But ho is right! Bitch should've been fired and replaced with her archrival, Paris Hilton!

[Us Weekly]

Disaster hits on September 5th!

by Lahoma00

On September 5th, the world is going to be introduced to a new level of crap: Fashion House debuts on MyNetwork TV. This telenovella starring Bo Derek (!) and the glamorously cerebral Morgan Fairchild is going to be the hottest shit ever. I'm seriously counting down the days.

Angie Still Hates Her Dad

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sat in their car for 30 minutes outside Scott Caan's birthday bash in Los Angeles the other night, because Jon Voight was inside. Angie has not yet reconciled with her father and wanted to keep her distance from him. Finally, Brad may his way inside without Angie to give good wishes to the Birthday boy. Shortly after Brad's arrival, Jon left. Angie then entered through the backdoor to join in the festivites.

Why don't these people grow up? So, she hates her father? Act like the rest of us and deal with that issue by getting drunk. Trust me Angie it makes the situation much more entertaining.

Come to think of it, she was probably busy drinking orange Shasta and vodka in the limo!

[Page Six] [Pic: x17]

Cruise is On Damage Control

Tom Cruise must really be down in the dumps. He was fired from Paramount, he's getting a lot of flack for his fake baby and so now has come the time for him to put his tail between his legs and give in. This starts with apologizing for the comments he made about Brooke Shields. If you don't remember, Tom attacked Brooke for going on antidepressants after the birth of her daughter.

Kathleen Kennedy, speaking for Tom said: "That, he deeply regrets."

Ok, I am now waiting for my apology to come. He owes me for lying to us about him being straight, sane and a biological father. He also owes Katie an apology for drugging her ass and he owes ET an apology for putting alien people in such a bad light.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Gerard Butler (Phantom of the Opera) will star opposite Hilary Swank in P.S. I Love You. The bestselling Cecelia Ahern novel is about a grieving young widow who discovers her late husband has left her a list of tasks revealed in 10 monthly messages that are intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life. Swank will play the woman and Butler her late husband. Shooting starts this Fall in New York and Ireland. [THR]

Woody Allen's Spanish project will start filming after he wraps his current project which is shooting London. The pic will be set in Barcelona and star English-speaking actors who play foreigners in the Spanish city. The drama will turn on a love entanglement. Shooting will begin next Summer. [Variety]

Andre Braugher has left a regular role on ER in order to star in the sequel to The Fantastic Four. Braugher will play the role of a military general. Some shooting is currently taking place, but principal photography begins August 31st. [Dark Horizons]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 24th!!

Mariah covers her thighs but once a year, 'tis a sacred occasion, let us pray.... - loveyabitch

Runner-up:

STOP! i think i see a purple pizza in the front row. - T-Bone

Hot Slut of the Day!

Pluto "The Demoted Planet"

Birthday Sluts

Sean Connery (76)
Rachel Bilson (25)
Claudia Schiffer (36)
Cameron Mathison (37)
Rachael Ray (38)
Blair Underwood (42)
Billy Ray Cyrus (45)
Tim Burton (48)
Elvis Costello (52)
Gene Simmons (57)
David Canary (68)
Regis Philbin (75)

Pete Doherty Busted in Rehab!

Jesus! Pete Doherty is seriously one hot ho. This crazy mofo is not normal. His ass was busted in rehab giving cocaine to a teenager?! I mean, when is this dude going to realize?

SICK Pete Doherty sparked outrage last night after it emerged he was caught giving cocaine to a troubled teenager at The Priory.

A security guard saw the junkie rocker — in rehab as part of a bail condition — handing the class A killer drug to a youngster in the dead of night.

Doherty was meant to be under guard in his room during a 10pm to 8am curfew.

But he was not monitored and managed to sneak into the adolescent addiction unit of the North London clinic on Tuesday.

Doherty, 27, was hauled before rehab bosses and told he would be banned from EVERY Priory in the UK if he re-offended.

The drugs were confiscated, his solicitor called and a bodyguard assigned to watch him.

A source said: “Pete’s been drinking in The Last Chance Saloon for years. This is it. He has broken his bail by having drugs and shown contempt for the law and morality yet again. These are impressionable kids addicted to drugs.

“The last thing they need is a junkie rock star turning up with a wrap of cocaine.”

Doherty was sent to The Priory for a fortnight by a court last week for drug possession.

England is awesome! You can even do drugs in rehab and all they do is give you a stern warning! Rad!

[The Sun] [Thx MomtheMumsie]

Jesse McCartney Quote of the Day!

On JLo's abrupt exit from Dallas (Jesse is dating Katie Cassidy who stars):

"She didn't get fired. She's pregnant."

[ONTD]

Um...Couldn't They Fix This?

Isn't the point of Photoshop to make your wonky eye go away?

[Thx Beth]

The Beckham Clan

Posh, Romeo & Brooklyn were photographed today at Heathrow in England on their way to Madrid. Why is her mouth open like that?

Ne-Yo Gets Some on Camera!

Concrete Loop has some pictures sent in by a reader claiming that these pictures are of rap star R&B singer, Ne-Yo getting a little tongue massage by one of his dancers. Tsk..tsk...when will these bitches ever learn that we're always watching. Dick don't look bad though. Unfortunately, CL cropped out the good stuff, but you get the picture. Go see more pics of this situation at CL.


Click here to see NSFW pics!

Afternoon Crumbs

The prison art of Katie Holmes - Gallery of the Absurd

Tom Cruise is going to go broke paying for all these Suri sightings - Hollywood Rag

Which one is the pig? - Egotastic!

Andy Roddick shows some skin - Gabsmash

The Posh Show may be coming to a TV screen near you -Popsugar

An indepth look at the ladies of America's Next Top Model - FourFour

Jessica Alba loses a tooth - Hollywood Tuna

Paris Hilton's method for choosing a good friend - A Socialite's Life

Brangelina keep their distance - JustJared

KFed has no friends - IDLYITW

Even massive photoshop work can't save Donatella Versace - Popbytes

A shark would probably choke if he tried to eat Elizabeth Taylor - SAYOR

Copycat!!

Cameron Diaz copied her boyfriend's ex, Britney Spears, by going dark. She probably heard it makes you smarter. It still doesn't distract from her pizza-face!

She kind of looks like Aeon Flux, but let's call her Peon Fux!

[TMZ]

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to se the ho behind the smile. Congrats to Raleigh for being the first to get it right!

Heather Locklear in a See-Through Skirt

Heather at SAKS in Beverly Hills on August 22nd

Yup, exciting stuff guys!

[Images: x17]

The "Who Cares?" News!!

BREAKING NEWS! American Idol finalist, Mikalah Gordon, almost lost her life by the hands of an armed burglar! They got away with $5 in cash! The BREAKING NEWS is that this bitch actually has $5!

These American Idol a-holes are on a role today! Taylor Hicks is suing someone AGAIN!

Mel Gibson kisses Jew ass to save his own.

Model, Amber Valletta goes into rehab for "image issues". Is that the new phrase for getting fat sucked out of your stomach?

Put on Some Clothes Woman!!!

Mimi's stop on her World Tour landed in NYC last night at Madison Square Garden. Nelly Jay-Z joined her onstage during a few numbers, but why the hell is she still wearing no clothes? I know that's her costume and all, but Jesus! Her body is alright, but not good enough for granny panties and a push-up bra. If anything she should've worn control-top undies. It would save her some of the air she's sucking in.

Bruce Springsteen is Really Patriotic

Bruce Springsteen has left his wife of 20 years to pursue a relationship with a 9/11 widow. Bruce met the mysterious redhead at a 9/11 telethon and instantly fell for her. He had to tell his wife, Patti Scialfa, that he was leaving her ass for this new chick.

A friend of Bruce's said: "They're separated, but everyone has been sworn to secrecy. We're not supposed to talk about it."

A rep for Bruce refused to comment.

Damn, he loves the redheads. How creepy is it to get with a guy that you met at a telethon for an event that led to your husband's death? Sick!

[Contact Music]

KFed Gets Edumacated!

Kevin Federline should quit the rap game and instead become the World's next Einstein. He claims that he's so smart that he passed his high school equivalency test with flying colors.

He said: "I actually got amazing-ass test scores on it. I got pretty high test scores for the state of California."
Unfortunately, having all those brains isn't helping his checkbook. He claims he is dead broke.

His wife, Britney Spears, is worth a reported $200 million but KFed has nothing. He made $2 million for his role on their reality show Chaotic, but now he has nothing. He said he's dead broke. He probably smoked that shit up in like 3 days.

I hate to laugh at him, because at least he has his GED but methinks that SPF took the test for him.

[TMZ]

The Photoshop Awards: Fergie in Germany's MAX Magazine

When Did Ethan Hawke Lose His Hotness?!

Ethan Hawke at the Mother Courage premiere on August 22, 2006

Back in the 1990s during the Reality Bites shit, Ethan Hawke was kind of hot. Like people found him attractive, right? So when did he get meth-face? Seriously...I'd still hit it though.

Colin Farrell is a Hero!!!

Colin Farrell is currently shooting a Woody Allen film in London with Ewan McGregor. He was shooting scenes yesterday when he witnessed a little boy falling off his bike. Colin quickly rushed to his side.

A source said: "Colin wanted to be sure he was OK."

I love how this is news. Um...so what he helped a boy get back on his bike? Who wouldn't?! That doesn't make like special or anything. He probably just wanted to cop a feel. Jesus I was joking!



[PR]

Celine Dion is a barrel of laughs!

by Lahoma00

This 1987 video shows just what a wild and kooky person Celine Dion really is. Here she is imitating Madonna, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, a cleaning woman and a cat!

Jennifer Aniston's Father Suffers a Heart Attack

Soap star and father of Jennifer, John Aniston, has suffered a heart attack prompting his daughter to rush to his side. Jennifer was apparently with her father all weekend. He is recovering in a hospital in Los Angeles.

A source said: "It was a scary few hours before Jen got definitive word from doctors that her dad would be fine."

The source also said that Vince Vaughn was a big help to her.

"He cancelled several appointments and stayed by her side.

"I don't think Jen is ever going to forget what a stand-up guy Vince was and how he really stuck by her just when she needed him the most."

I'm dying here!

[Hollywood.com]

First They are Broken Up...Now They are Married?

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are always in the tabloids. That's a fact. One minute she's moving out and now they are saying she's wearing a wedding band. Witnesses claim they saw Angelina wearing a band sparking rumors that she's about to tie the knot with Brad Pitt. WTF, I thought she moved out and was like moving on.

Jesus!

I think the wedding band came from Africa. She loves it so much, she should marry it.

That's all I got, folks!

[Tittle Tattle Too]

I Love a Man on a Bike

This is going to be a slow news day people!

The Dlisted Report

Nightmare on Elm Street is back in theaters for two days only to celebrate the release of a special-edition DVD. This special, two-night A Nightmare on Elm Street will be presented by New Line Home Entertainment and National CineMedia on Wednesday, September 20th and Thursday, September 21st at 8:00 p.m. local time in 124 Regal, United Artists, Edwards, Cinemark, AMC and Georgia Theatre Company movie theatres across the country.

Paul Bettany will star opposite Brendan Fraser in the children's classic Inkheart. When a villainous ruler and his band of rogues from a children's fable kidnap the man, his daughter and her friends, both real and imaginary, must rescue him. Bettany will play Dustfinger. An open call in England for the lead girl will take place next month. [Variety]

American Idol finalist Constantine Mouralis has been confirmed to star in The Wedding Singer on Broadway. It was first reported yesterday and confirmed by a production rep today. Mouralis will play the role of Sammy. He will play the role for 8 weeks starting this September. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 23rd!

John Karr before he was arrested in Thailand. - Minnie Pauzal

Runner-up:

Gentlemen, this is really what you get for $3.99/minute. - W


[Pic: Pixyland]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Chesty Morgan

[For David]

Birthday Sluts

Chad Michael Murray (25)
Rupert Grint (18)
Dave Chappelle (33)
Marlee Matlin (41)
Craig Kilborn (44)
Steve Guttenberg (48)
Stephen Fry (49)

Nasty Bitch and I'm Not Talking About the Canine!

Mischa Barton shows off her fat thighs and her new pooch on August 21st. I'm not sure what kind of dog that is, but it's not into her ass. It probably heard stories about these kind of girls from his other pooch friends. He knows that he's going to only be touched and cuddled when a camera is around and will probably have to endure hours of shopping and being tossed around from cokehead friend to cokehead friend.

Furthermore, WTF is she wearing?! Blanche Deveraux wants her frock back!

Eh, Could Work Out!

Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner are starting to heat up. Both recently split up from their bitches (DJ Am and Kristin Cavallari) and have found love in each other. Friends of the couple say that they are really into each other and make one another laugh, blah blah blah.

The one good thing is Brody is saving cash seeing as his date doesn't eat shit.

[Us Weekly]

Why Does Diddy Take Credit for Everything?!

Afternoon Crumbs

Matthew and Lance shall never be parted [A Socialite's Life]

Blohan totally wore this outfit the night before [Mollygood]

Nick and Jessica's akward Teen Choice Awards moment [BWE]

WTH is Elisha Cut-a-burp wearing? [Hollywood Tuna]

Usher makes his Broadway debut [Concrete Loop]

Kfed the weasel [Cityrag]

This is what Sienna Miller wears to the grocery store [Egotastic!]

Harry Potter needs 30 kisses [Hollywood Rag]

Janet Jackson just wants to bang [IDLYITW]

Rosie O's haiku on Nip/Tuck [Just Jared]

Owen Wilson goes solo to his premiere [Popsugar]

Brad Pitt got a new tat [Bumpshack]

[Photo: Splash]

She's a Hack Alright!

Paris being a slut in Tokyo

SpoofCard has terminated Parasite Hilton as a client claiming that she hacked into voice mail boxes. The company offers the ability to change what a person sees on their caller ID when they get a phone call.

TMZ reports:

SpoofCard announced today that it had terminated the accounts of more than 50 customers, including Paris Hilton, who they claim used the SpoofCard service to obtain unauthorized access to voice mail accounts on a national mobile telephone network. Many of the terminated customers and the victims whose mailboxes were accessed are well-known celebrities, including Lindsay Lohan.

TMZ spoke with SpoofCard attorney Mark Del Bianco and he stated that "Paris was entering unauthorized [voice] mail boxes." When asked about Lindsay, he told us, "A number of the 50 persons [who were canceled by Spoofcard] were making unauthorized entrances to Miss Lohan's voice mail." A source close to the scandal also told TMZ that Nicky Hilton and Paris' ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos may have been involved.

TMZ contacted Leslie Sloane Zelnick, rep for Lindsay, who would only say "I have turned this matter over to Lindsay's lawyers."

A rep for Paris could not be reached at press time.

I've never heard of that shit. Paris probably thought it was SpoojCard and involved getting a different flavor of sperm every month. Anyway, you know she didn't hack into that herself! She barely learned how to dial on a keypad. She probably blew some hacker that did it for her.

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the smile. Congrats to ME2 for getting it right, first!

Britney Spears is Indecent, But Not in the Way You Think

The Tokyo subway people have refused to allow a billboard of a pregnant and nude Britney Spears. They have deemed the photo taken from Harper's Bazaar "too stimulating" for young people.

The picture of the pop singer -- nude but covering her breasts with her arms and crossing her legs at the knee -- appeared in the August issue of Harper's Bazaar and will be on the cover of the magazine's Japanese edition in October.

The publishers had hoped to display the cover photo for a week at a subway station in a trendy part of central Tokyo, but ran into resistance.

"We thought some of our customers would find it to be overly stimulating," said a Tokyo Metro official.

Harper's Bazaar could not be reached for comment.

Not all was lost. The Metro and the publishers agreed to display the poster after all but masked the picture below the former teen idol's elbow with a statement reading: "We apologize for hiding part of a beautiful image of a mother-to-be."

I love Japanese people! OMG the statement that is covering her grossness is so much better than the real thing. Japanese people are also known for being polite and they didn't deem it inappropriate because she's nude....they deemed it inappropriate because it's a nude Britney Spears. There's a BIG different. Like a 80-pound difference.

[Reuters]

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Brandon Routh has broken Bryan Singer's heart by getting engaged to a girl.

Pete Doherty punched out a nurse in rehab. That's kind of awesome, but kind of sick too.

India does what the World should've done and censors Paris Hilton's video

Theater goers walk out on Meryl Streep's performance in Mother Courage at Central Park, because it's long and boring. DUH! I could've told your dumb asses that!

What's Gayer Than Gay?

Dancing with the Stars!!!

Here are the cast photos of the new season which premieres on ABC September 12th!

Mario "AC Slater" Lopez pulled out his Greg Louganis costume!



Willa Ford and Harry Hamlin



Emmitt Smith and Jerry Springer



Tucker Carlson & Vivica "I Put On Some Poundage" Fox



Shanna "Only Good for Porn" Moakler & Sara Evans



Is that Mr. Clean?! No, it's Joey "Woah" Lawrence!



[Thx Nathan]

Why Didn't Britney Slap Her?!

At the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday, Jessica Simpson apparently asked Britney Spears if she could kiss her pregnant belly to which Brit responded with: "Hell, no!"

That's my girl. A source close to Jessica said: "Jessica was really insulted, but Britney refused to let her do it."

I'm not sure why Britney didn't just beat her ass. She is country after all and nothing says country more than a pregnant hillbilly giving the beat down to a blonde bimbo.

[Post Chronicle]

What is MK Doing at the Fabric Store?

That's her trick! That shit she's wearing isn't like designer crap, she just buys yards of fabric and drapes herself in it and pairs with some skinny jeans and ballet flats. Is she like 2 feet tall or is that doorway like really long?

Posh Actually Has a Good Time

We usually see Posh Beckham looking all constipated and serious, but we saw a different side of her as she stumbled out of a London Casino at 5am after partying with friends. She had to be helped by her handlers and when they finally got her drunk ass into the car she couldn't stop laughing.

This is why I love this woman.

The Photoshop Awards: Julia Roberts in Ferre Ad

The Morning After: Tom Responds!

Well sort of...Paula Wagner, Tom Cruise's producing partner, has spoken out about Paramount Pictures cutting the crazy which was reported yesterday. Paula said that Sumner Redstone's comments were offensive and undignified.

“Whatever remarks Mr. Redstone would make about Tom Cruise personally or as an actor have no bearing on what this business issue is. I don't understand why this would be turned into a personal attack. Because that's what it is. That's letting one of your greatest assets walk out the door. It looks like bad business to me."

"There must be another agenda that the studio has in mind to take one of their greatest assets and malign him this way. We in fact made a decision not to continue our relationship with Paramount Pictures,"

Paula claims that they decided to produce independently and they quit and weren't fired.

"For some reason, Paramount has chosen to negotiate in the press. It's not really the most businesslike approach. We've had virtually no dealings with Mr. Redstone."

Unfortunately, I choose to believe Paramount. Anything that comes out of Tom or his employees mouths are just a pack of lies. I'm telling you that something bitch is coming up and Paramount is distancing themselves from his craziness.

Bitch is going to say Suri has died!

Note to the Producers of Chicago

STOP CASTING BITCHES WHO CAN'T SING JUST TO SELL TICKETS!

Here's the story:

Is Ashlee Simpson Broadway-bound? The singer, 21, has been offered the role of murderous Roxie Hart in the Broadway and London casts of the musical Chicago, a Simpson source confirms. "“She will probably choose London,"” says the source, who adds that she would start in October. (Earlier this year, Rita Wilson played the role in New York.) Though Simpson has little experience in musical theater, she has been a backup dancer on her sis Jessica'’s tour, and showed off her acting chops for two years with a role on 7th Heaven. A Chicago rep tells Us, "There is no confirmation at this time."

How disgusting would that be? You know I would totally go just throw pineapples and shit at her stupid ass. She can't dance and she can't sing, isn't that two things that are required of you when you participate in a Broadway musical?

[Us Weekly]

A Match Made in STD Heaven!

This story is way too perfect to be true, but I'm crossing my altoids that it is. Parasite Hilton has apparently shacked up with Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis. Brandon left rehab late last month. Fat Elvis went to get help after his infamous "Firecrotch" incident was caught on tape and it forced his wealthy family to do something about it. After leaving the clinic he moved into Paris' house. It was supposed to be temporary, but the two are doing it and that's just sick.

A friend said: “His family is selling their home, so Brandon’s been shacking up with Paris at her place off the Sunset Strip. All his clothes, his toiletries and even some of the artwork he owns.”

“They’re hooking up, but she doesn’t want anyone to know about it. It’s being kept very hush-hush.”

Paris also famously said that she was going celibate for a year and staying away from men. I think it's safe to say that she's keeping her promise since Brandon is not a man, he's a fat hog.

You know why they are so perfect? She's too much of a slut to get wet anymore and he sweats a thick lube-like substance!

[MSNBC] [Thx Dawn]

The Race Between Races

Survivor host, Jeff Probst, has confirmed that the new season will divide 20 people into 4 tribes by race. The rumor surfaced earlier this week.

Jeff said: "Well, that's probably one of the reasons it will be interesting and controversial, maybe, as you say. I know, from where I sit, I found it to be one of the freshest ideas we've had going back to the beginning of this show in season one." "I think at first glance, when you just hear the idea, it could sound like a stunt. Especially with the way reality has gone, it wouldn't be unusual. But that's not what we're doing here. The idea for this actually came from the criticism that 'Survivor' was not ethnically diverse enough," he said. "Because, for whatever reason, we've always had a low number of minority applicants apply to the show. So we set out and said, 'Let's turn this criticism into creative for the show. I think it fits in perfectly with what 'Survivor' does — it is a social experiment. And this is adding another layer to that experiment, which is taking the show to a completely different level."

Reception from the contestants was mixed. Some thought it was enforcing stereotypes and others didn't care, they were just there to play the game. I'm with the latter.

Here's some information on the new tribe members.

African-American Tribe:

Make-up artist, Rebecca Borman, 34, from Laurelton, N.Y.

Jazz musician and recording artist Sekou Bunch, 45, of Los Angeles

Nursing student Stephannie Favor, 35, of Columbia, S.C.

Retail salesman Nathan Gonzalez, 26, of Los Angeles

Sundra Oakley, 31, an actress from Los Angeles

Asian-American Tribe:

Nail salon manager Anh-Tuan "Cao Boi" Bui (pronounced Cowboy), 42, from Christianburg, Va.

Attorney Becky Lee, 28, of Washington, D.C.

Management consultant Yul Kwon, 31, of San Mateo, Calif.

Real estate agent Jenny Guzon-Bae, 36, of Lake Forest, Ill.

Fashion Director Brad Virata, 29, of Los Angeles

Hispanic Tribe:

Heavy metal guitarist Billy Garcia, 36, of New York

Professional volleyball player J.P. Calderon, 30, of Marina Del Rey, Calif.

Police officer Cristina Coria, 35, of Los Angeles

Waiter Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth, 25, of Venice, Calif.

Technology risk consultant Cecilia Mansilla, 29, of Oakland, Calif.

White Tribe:

Copier salesman Adam Gentry, 28, of San Diego, Calif.

Writer-producer Jonathan Penner, 44, of Los Angeles

Boxer-waitress Parvati Shallow, 23, of Los Angeles

Performer-roller girl Jessica Smith, 27, of Chico, Calif.

Pre-med student Candice Woodcock, 23, of Fayetteville, N.C.

[CBS]

The Dlisted Report

ABC has released this promo poster for the third season premiere of Lost. The series debuts on October 4, 2006 at 9pm. "Lost" stars Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Mr. Eko, Naveen Andrews as Sayid, Henry Ian Cusick as Desmond, Emilie de Ravin as Claire, Michael Emerson as Henry Gale, Matthew Fox as Jack, Jorge Garcia as Hurley, Josh Holloway as Sawyer, Daniel Dae Kim as Jin, Yunjin Kim as Sun, Evangeline Lilly as Kate, Elizabeth Mitchell as Juliet, Dominic Monaghan as Charlie and Terry O'Quinn as Locke.

Brendan Fraser will star in the film-version of the bestselling children's novel Inkheart. The book centers on a girl whose father, a bookbinder, has the power to bring characters from books to life by reading aloud. When a villainous ruler and his band of rogues from a children's fable kidnap the man, his daughter and her friends -- both real and imaginary -- must set things right. Fraser will play the father. [THR]

American Idol finalist, Constantine Maroulis, is expected to join the Broadway cast of The Wedding Singer on September 8th. No role was specified. [Playbill]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Eileen Brennan

Birthday Sluts

Scott Caan (30)
Julian Casablancas (28)
Kobe Bryant (28)
Nicole Bobek (29)
Jay Mohr (36)
Charles Busch (52)
Queen Noor (55)
Rick Springfield (57)
Shelley Long (57)
Barbara Eden (72)

The CAPTION THIS Contest for Winner August 22nd!

Why Republicans and Photoshop shouldn't mix - Anonymous

Runner-up:

imagine how bad it's going to hurt for her to shoot that big Jesus out of her vag - Turd Ferguson

ICYDK: Paramount Cuts the Crazy

People, this is just the beginning.

Viacom Inc.'s Paramount Pictures unit is ending its 14-year relationship with Tom Cruise's film production company because of the actor's offscreen behavior, the company's chairman said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal.

Sumner Redstone, Viacom chairman, said the behavior of the star of the "Mission: Impossible" series and "Top Gun" was unacceptable to the company, according to the Wall Street Journal story e-mailed to reporters.

Cruise, one of Hollywood's biggest stars, has been known more recently for his antics on U.S. television talk shows, including jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch to declare his love for Katie Holmes and criticizing the use of antidepressant drugs.

"As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal," Redstone was quoted as saying in the Wall Street Journal. "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

I think that Paramount seriously knows of something fucked up coming up and decided to distance themselves from him before it hits the fan. Stay tuned for Tom to completely flip out!

This is going to get good.

[Reuters]

Could Be Worse...Could Be Andy Dick!

Heather Locklear and David Spade were all lovey and shit while on the beach in Malibu. She should win some kind of award for getting with that every night. Even though he's a troll, she looks pretty hot for being like 80 or something.

[x17]

Thank You Eva LongWHORIA for Doing My Job!

I don't even need to tell a joke and I thank her for that!

[The Bastardly]

The Dog is the Only One with Natural Hair

Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves will launch their new wig and extension line on August 30th at extensions.com. I know you literally can't wait. The thing is don't think your hair going to look like that (below). You know she's not even using her own product and plus she had this shit photoshopped.

The bigger question here is, couldn't she afford a hotter gay than Paves?

Afternoon Crumbs

New Line starts second phase of deadly marketing plan for Snakes on a Plane [Defamer]

Avril Lavigne on a scooter [Hollywood Tuna]

Kate Hudson pulls out of work [Popsugar]

Goldie Hawn and Blohan are separated at birth [Cityrag]

Natalie Portman goes back to brown and drops the bra [Egotastic!]

Heidi Klum is a baby machine [Hollywood Rag]

More of Hulk Hogan in a really hot speedo [IDLYITW]

Black eyed George [Just Jared]

Ashton Kutcher in Details [Popbytes]

James Blunt will shoot you [A Socialite's Life]

Angelina goes flying [Mollygood]

Guess the Ho?

Click here to see the ho behind the smile. Congrats to Vampira for being the first to get it right!

I'm Waiting for the Catfight

Is there a problem in the trinity of Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConagay?! The three have been seen together very often lately. In the past couple of weeks, Matthew and Lance have been photographed all over Miami together. The reason? Matthew was in talks to play Lance in a biopic. Sony has apparently decided to go with Jake instead.

Did Matthew suck Lance's dick for no reason? Is he pissed? Is he going after Jake? This is going to be a hotter catfight than on Flavor of Love!

[TMZ]

Paris Drops Today

Paris with friend in Tokyo on August 22nd

Paris Hilton's debut album was originally titled Paris is Burning (in reference to her genitals always being on fire) but was changed to the aptly named Paris. The album has officially hit stores today and is a test to see if people are interested in this piece of trash as a musical artist. Early reviews are starting to trickle in and aren't positive. She's receiving mostly 1 and 2 stars for her musical effort. So yeah, you can breathe a sigh of relief.....bitch isn't the next Madonna.

In promoting her album, this ho swears she was broke when she first moved to Los Angeles.

'When I moved to Los Angeles, I swear on my life I didn't have anything and was living in a crappy apartment for models. I told my mum I didn't want any money.'

'I've done it all on my own. My cars, my house, I bought for myself.'

She's such an inspiration to young girls. All you have to do is release a sex tape and voila the offers will come pouring in!

[Monsters and Critics]

Prison Makes the Crazy, Crazier

This is a drawing by an up and coming artist named Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay and ex-husband of Dina. He has a lot of time on his hands since he's in prison and decided to use his daughter's image once again to stretch out his 15-minutes. This cartoon depicts his daughter and the demons that are trying to bring her down.

In the 46-year-old Lohan's cartoon, these include money-grubbing lawyers with devil's horns, a prison guard, a paparazzo and an Ugg-booted woman who might be Lindsay's mom, Dina, or her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik. They're all tearing the daughter away from her dear old dad.

"Shame on you," declares the Lord Almighty, who's shown glowering and pointing from heaven. "Don't you know that some things are sacred!?!"

Also depicted - in see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil poses - are Lindsay's younger siblings, Michael, Alina and Cody. On the back of the cartoon, the artist has scribbled: "The Spiritual Realities and Physical Elements of the truth behind this whole situation."

In his accompanying handwritten letter, Lohan - who's serving up to four years for drunken driving, contempt of court and beating his brother-in-law bloody with a shoe - discusses his "stupid decisions," his new spirituality, an inspirational book he's written and his intention to help troubled teens through a ministry when he gets out of prison. And he shares his views on a variety of hot topics:

His daughter: "Lindsay is a talented, loving, blessed and free-spirited person. I believe nothing I read about her unless I hear it from Lindsay herself. And she's always been honest with me."

Hollywood bigwig James Robinson, who recently scorched Lindsay as a "spoiled child … discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional" over her unexcused absences from the set of "Georgia Rule": "If Mr. Robinson wrote a letter to her, that is his right. He is a respectable man and I'm sure he felt it as his obligation. … But I do know how things get twisted and I'm sure there is an honest explanation."

Lindsay's one-time pole-dancing partner, Kate Moss: "While I don't think Kate is the best mentor based on reports, these reports could be twisted. To which, I hope and pray (as it appears) Kate has turned her life around as well."

Lindsay's boyfriend, Hard Rock Hotel heir Harry Morton: "He appears private, respectable, and my friends in Vegas only have good things to say about him and his family."

Oil heir Brandon Davis, who repeatedly mocked Lindsay as "firecrotch": "All I can say is that I am happy that God gave me a new way of looking at, and pitying, people like Brandon. I pray for his soul!"

I'm really into Michael keeping busy, but shouldn't he be making license plates and not dipping his unwanted hand into the world of art? I also think he missed a major demon of Blohan's: COKE!

[Lowdown]

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Oprah Winfrey has named the first 73 girls that will be admitted into her South African school. Let's hope they aren't forced to do "we speak your name" crap every morning.

Tom Chaplin of Keane has checked himself into rehab canceling their tour. Um...who and who?

Diddy is officially going to be a daddy again. How is this possible when the woman who is carrying his supposed child is a dude?

Chris Pontius writes some crude song about Jessica Simpson banging Bam. Ugh, is that his only card? Doesn't he have a goldfish to swallow or a vacuum to stick his penis into?

Britney Spears Wants to Be Buried with Her Dog (Not KFed)

Britney at Chin Chin in West Hollywood

Britney Spears is like really in love with her dog, Lucky, and wants to be buried next to her. Brit wants to follow the example of the Ancient Egyptians.

She said: "You know how the Pharaohs used to get buried with things they loved? I want to do that with Lucky. She should be laid to rest with me when the time comes."

If she wants to be buried next the things she loved, shouldn't that include like a Venti Frap and a wedge flip-flops?

[AHN] [Pics: x17]

Asshole Simpson Needs a Shower

The other Simpson at Hyde in L.A.

In addition to a shower, Asshole Simpson needs a lobotomy, starring role in a snuff film and her vocal chords clipped.

See more pics of this ho at x17

I Really Hope She's Looking at Dlisted

I hope Kiki Dunst is browsing Dlisted.com so she can see what I think of her nasty ass! This ho needs to be put in check! She should be bagging my groceries not shopping at Fred Segal on August 18th! This is not right. The Universe has gotten this very wrong. Even expensive clothes look dirty on her. She could put on a ten thousand dollar gown and still look like she pulled that out of the $1 per pound bin at the Salvation Army!

Is Bidet Delayed?!

Beyonce's sophmore album, B'Day, is set to be released on September 5th. MediaTakeOut claims that the album may be pushed back to give Beyonce more time to work on other songs to possibly include.

Matthew Knowles, her father and manager, is trying to get Sony BMG to push back the album because he is not satisfied with the end result. Her single Deja Vu received bad reviews as did the album itself. All of the tracks on the album were leaked onto the internet yesterday and basically that shit sucks. Click here to get some sample clips.

I personally feel like it's too soon to release another album. She's probably doing it just because. She should focus on Dreamgirls and release this mess next year. Because so far what she's released...SUCKS!

Is Survivor Racist?

There is much buzz that the upcoming season of Survivor: Cook Islands which debuts on CBS September 14th is separating the tribes in a very controversial way. Reality Blurred claims that there will be 4 tribes like last season. If you remember last season they separated the tribes into 4 groups: Younger Men, Older Men, Younger Women and Older Women. This season is using the same formula with a twist.

They have separated into these 4 groups: Black, White, Asian and Hispanic.

This has caused a lot of controversy with some calling it racist. We won't know if this rumor is true until CBS reveals the contestants which will probably be any day now.

Cloris Leachman is Awesome!

Cloris Leachman really loves her Bud! I bet you she's a Pabst kind of gal. Last night she proved her love by posing with several kegs. She was out and about in Hollywood at the premiere of her new film Beerfest which also stars well...I don't know who any of those people are.

You know the cast was doing body shots off of her at the post-party which was probably held at Dave & Busters.

She Needs Her Little Black Book Now

Brittany Murphy and Joe Macaluso have scrapped plans to make it legal and are remaining close friends. Don't they always remain friends? I'm so sure, like they are really going to borrow sugar from each other and like have a Blockbuster night.

The pair got engaged last New Year's Eve. A rep for Brittany said:

"The two have amicably ended their engagement. They remain close friends and wish each other much happiness."

The couple met on the set of Little Black Book in which Brittany was the star and Joe was the best boy. Love bloomed over a boom mic!

This will leave plenty of time for Brittany's other love, coke!

[People]

The Dlisted Report

The Weinstein Company have acquired the Worldwide rights to the documentary Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing. The film follows the female country music trio over three years while the band was under fire for publicly criticizing George Bush in 2003. [Variety]

James Gandolfini has signed a 3-year exclusive producing deal with HBO. The agreement marks the first overall production deal for Gandolfini, who along with his producing partner, former Paramount executive Alex Ryan, is simultaneously launching his production shingle, Attaboy Films. Under this exclusive producing arrangement, Gandolfini will develop and produce original television programming for HBO and will also have a first-look deal for feature projects at Picturehouse, HBO's specialty film distribution arm. Gandolfini is currently shooting the last season of The Sopranos with the cable channel. [HBO]

Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park) have set-up two live action films at Paramount Studios. Their newly renamed Important Pictures will make the Jeff Roda-scripted high school comedy "My All-American" which is aiming for a 2007 production start, timed to a hiatus from "South Park". They plan to follow with "Giant Monsters Attack Japan!," a film scripted by J.F. Lawton ("Under Siege") that will combine live-action with the "rubber suit" techniques made popular in Asian imports like "Godzilla". Stone will produce and Parker will direct the projects. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 21st!

In a desperate attempt to keep Ashton Kutcher's attention, Demi Moore performs at daughter, Rumer's, 18th birthday party. - Melvin Gibsonberg

Hot Slut of the Day!

The Edgar Winter Dog

Please vote for The Edgar Winter Dog to be Lassie's new spokesbitch!

Birthday Sluts

Tori Amos (43)
Rodrigo Santoro (31)
Beenie Man (33)
Giada De Laurentiis (36)
Ty Burrell (39)
Rick Yune (39)
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (39)
Cindy Williams (59)
Valerie Harper (66)

Jordan and Peter Andre Serenade Us With Their Gorgeous Voices!

This beautiful video of Peter Andre and Jordan has seriously touched my heart and changed my life. The two are seen here performing for some kind of charity telethon last year. The two perform "their song" which is "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. They also sang this beautiful duet at their wedding.

They have inspired me to follow my dreams and reach for the stars. They are both truly inspirational human beings. They have taught us all that even if you wear white, pull your hair back, lip sync badly and have audience members wave their hands at you....deep down you are still trash!

When you give to charity, can you get a refund?!

[Thx Lahoma00]

Charlize Theron Really is Perfection

Charlize Theron at the Edinburgh Film Festival in Scotland on August 19th

I mean...there's nothing bad I can say about this. This ho is straight-up perfect and she likes to hot box which makes her even hotter.

This is a Hot Outfit

Bai Ling at Koi on August 18th

Seriously, where does Bai Ling buy these outfits? I don't even know what to say! Neon sequins?!

Who Would You Rather Get With?

Hulk Hogan or Matt Lauer

[Pics: TMZ]

Paris is Delusional

Paris Hilton is NOT a Best Buy

Paris Hilton recently spoke on her upcoming vagina which will be released tomorrow.

This is Me: "Bitch, I heard that men love your vagina, but I think it's sick!"

This is Paris: "They love it. Everyone's like, `Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it."

This is Me: "Why the hell would they want a ring tone that sounds like a vagina fart? "

This is Paris: "I think when people don't know it's me, they won't judge it. But if they know it's me, then they'll be like, `Ugh.' They won't even dance."

This is Me: "I'm so confused Paris. I know you love your vagina and all, but I think people want to hurl when they see it NOT dance."

This is Paris: "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

This is Me: "You have conversations with it? You are a sick fuck!"

Read the real interview here

Afternoon Crumbs

Is it possible for your implants to sag? [Hollywood Tuna]

The Japanese Paris Hilton doll [Gallery of the Absurd]

Relive Alison's wrongful ejection from Project Runway [FourFour]

The new Janet Jackson song [Concrete Loop]

Kate Beckinsale loves her bikinis [Egotastic!]

Sophia Bush uses the john [Drunken Stepfather]

Christina Ricci is a doll [Hollywood Rag]

Pink gives love to Mel Gibson [IDLYITW]

Angelina Jolie for Shisedo [Just Jared]

Owen Wilson isn't dating Kate Hudson and will sue you if you say otherwise [Popsugar]

Busta Rhymes slams a ho [Mollygood]

Does Demi Moore have coke nose here? [A Socialite's Life]

Intimately by Posh & Becks

Here is the full advertisement of Posh and David Beckham's cologne and perfume set to hit stores this September in the UK. A drug store in England has decided to put it out early and hired truly awful impersonaters to hawk the shit. I mean the Posh is waaay too fat to look real and the Becks...well..ack..he looks more like Harvey than David!



[Thx JJLin]

And the Brangelina Break-Up Rumors Don't Stop!

Could America's sexiest couple be heading their separate ways. There were previous reports that Angelina Jolie has already moved out of Brad Pitt's home taking the kids with her. Friends of the couple are now claiming that the end is extremely near for the sexy duo. They have been fighting constantly. Angie wants to dive further into her charity work and travel Africa helping others. Brad apparently isn't into that shit and that's when the fights occur.

A friend said: "My concern is that Angelina thinks Brad is completely on the same page and wants the same things, and I don't think he does. There's no doubt he is in love with her, but she carries a lot of baggage .... She is most definitely not normal and that's one of the appealing things about her, but I think it takes someone pretty special as a partner to be able to deal with that. I think she just wants to run away."

I think news of their break-up are heating up, because Jennifer Aniston is getting a lot of press with the whole Vince engagement thing. Angie's trying to outshine the bitch.

PS - That picture of a Brad and Angie morph looks like that bitch from Work Out.

[Tittle Tattle Too]

Fergie is a Damn Fool

Fergie leaves her Berlin hotel on August 19th

Behold! It's the Princess of Hags!!!! Tiaras only belong on pageant queens, royalty, gay men and little girls. Not on hatchet-faced, low-rate singers who shouldn't be trying a solo career.

Speaking of...can you believe that hideous single is number 1 AGAIN?!

The "Who Cares?" News!!

It's a Teen Choice Awards photo mega post!

Brooke Burke & David Charvet are engaged. Mainly because they don't want the child their expecting to be a bastard.

Tom and Jerry (yes the cartoon) are being blasted in the UK for smoking on TV. Yeah, but it's ok to beat the blood out of one another.

Madonna wants to save the World with the use of Kabbalah water. She claims it destroys nuclear waste. Lovely, now use it on yourself first!

Don Vito Arrested for Touching a Child

Bam Margera's uncle and co-star on Viva La Bam, Don Vito, was arrested and charged with two counts of sexual assault on a minor. He was arrested in Lakewood, CO.

Um...sick. What's even more sick is photos of his nasty ass with strippers that I published a few months ago. If you enjoy yacking all over your keyboard click here - here and here.

Enjoy!

[Starpulse]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....

WHICH sexy Latina actress who loves to talk about how much she loves her boyfriend secretly hooked up with an older gent after a recent awards show?

Eva LongWHORIA

WHICH news anchor's boorish behavior forced his network to shell out big bucks to several women so they would drop their sexual harassment claims? He invited the ladies out to dinner - where he often couldn't keep his hands to himself - and then badgered them to come back to his apartment. Now the network is instituting mandatory sexual-harassment-awareness classes.

O'Reilly!

WHICH movie-star stud is cowering in the closet? He was spotted last month making out at Cipriani in Venice with a hot piece of man-candy.

Vin Diesel

[Page Six]

Pete Doherty Missed His Own Wedding

Kate Moss had apparently planned to marry Pete Doherty yesterday in Bali, but her plans have been ruined due to his semi-monthly rehab visit. Kate had flown with friends and family last week to prepare for the island nuptials. However, Pete's new arrest and drug charges put things on hold.

A source said: "She is in a terrible state. She is in tatters and very distressed. When she flew to Bali on Monday she was ecstatic and told her friends that there was going to be a ceremony for her and Pete This weekend."”

"“Kate asked Pete to prepare a beautiful ceremony with poetry and music and he was thrilled."

Do you think Kate is so dickmatized, because Pete's sperm has enough heroin in it to get you high? Like is she really addicted to his sperm? SICK!

[Entertainmentwise]

Osama Bin Laden Wants a Piece of Whitney

This is probably just a crazy rumor invented by a crazy ho who wants to push her book, but it's a hot one! Osama Bin Laden is apparently so crazy in love with Whitney Houston that he's thinking of putting a hit on Bobby Brown!

Kola Boof claims to have once been his sex slave and wrote a tell-all due in September in which she talks about Bin Laden's obsession with cracked out Whitney.

"He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

"He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting. He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

"[He would say] how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name."

"African women are only good for a man's lower pleasures. What need do you have for a womb?"

Osama reads Star Magazine?! That's breaking news in itself. I bet Bonnie Fuller is creaming her granny panties at the thought of that.

Um...Osama doesn't realize that Whitney would drive him crazy. Yes, she used to be beautiful but damn that ho is annoying! We should send him copies of her reality series so he can see what a crack head she is.

When I googled Osama bin Laden this photo came up. He's a bad ass mofo!



[Page Six]

Britney So Excited to Be Out...Poses with Anything!

Britney Spears waddles her ass out onstage at last night's Teen Choice Awards and didn't even bother to spit her gum out. Homegirl is hot shit. She's real, she's country y'all! Did you also notice the song they played when came out? Is that a new single or something? For her sake, I hope.

Backstage she posed with absolutely anything.

The Man, The Legend, The Talent.....

Hopefully you were too busy cleaning the dingles out of your cat's ass to catch the hideously awful performance by KFed at last night's Teen Choice Awards. Let's just say he should leave the performing to his fat wife. I mean.....he has ZERO talent. Paris Hilton at least can amuse us with her wonky eye.

Click here to watch this travesty unfold including my girl Britney looking like a Thanksgiving turkey.

[Thx Holly]

Flavor of Love 2: Agent Bootz is on the Case!

We're only on to episode 3 and bitches are already throwing the jealousy around. Hoopz, I mean Krazy already wants to have Foofy's kids and I don't know why someone would consciously wants fugly ass kids! Anyway, the bitch stayed up with him all night. You know she's tug jobbing him underneath that polyester.

Bitch is showing us below how she rolls.




Continue reading "Agent Bootz is on the Case"



Agent Bootz kept her man on tap by watching his ass. Damn, she's so lethal!



In the morning, Krazy spilled the trash to her bff, Delishis. Um...she really needs to tell Delishis that she has flecks of doo doo all over her. Somethin is sitting over there looking mighty guilty!



Six of the girls are taken to Foofy's favorite joint, M&M Soul Food. He told them that they had to run the place and each ho was given a specific job.



Toasteee had no idea what soul food was. I don't know why bitch I'm sure you've had enough soul in your hole!



Bootz and Somethin were ordered to prepared the food and let me say that I am only going to eat KFC from now on, because real chicken is straight up nasty! Furthermore, who in their crazy mind let Somethin's shitty hands handle food?!



I bet you that's what Somethin's dump looked like all over the floor.



Buckwild is truly a my dawg. Bitch can hang like that. She was told to wait tables and that's what homegirl does back in Upland, so she went right to it. She even sang a Happy Birfday song to a customer. Seriously, you know this shit is better than KFed's single. It goes a little something like this>

"Happy Birthday to my girl Linda! She up in the soul food hinda! She getting down with the town...I wish you a Happy Birthday right right now!"

I'm not sure what "hinda" means...but I don't think ho knows what it means either.



The customers seemed to like it too...they even gave their two cents:
"Don't quit your day job!"

Awwww....don't make fun of the wigga! It's hard out there for a wigga!



This zone is for the unloading of passengers only. DAMN!!!!!! That looks like two squirrels fighting under a blanket, but it's really Delishis. Girlfriend has two asses! I hope she doesn't even have those nasty doo doo marks all over her ass too.



This lady was even salivating over that junk in the trunk.

"That is just way too much ass for one person. We could all use that much ass at this table."

You know her friend is like "Um...speak for yourself you damn dyke! I want some fried chicken and waffles not fucking ass! Sick fuck!"



Somethin was having a hard time and was the only girl to get fired. She claimed she couldn't read the orders Buckwild had taken, but the truth was bitch just couldn't read. Hooked on Phonics baby!



Bootz won the challenge and I'm not sure this is a prize. Eeek. Shit if that is the prize, I'd throw that shit each time.



Toasteee wants a piece. She's looking at him like she's Bugs Bunny and he's a carrot! Doesn't she kind of look like Bugs Bunny in drag?



There goes that dumb bitch Krazy trying to get all into his shit already. Damn! Take it slow. Go braid your hair some more so you look more "street". I can't stand that ho and even her own earrings can't stand her! They are trying to get away.



After Foofy turns her down, the bitch goes to cry to Tiger. Tiger uses this time to talk about herself. Probably because none of the other girls want to talk to her annoying ass. Guess who is around the corner listening to Tiger talk about how she's not into Foofy?



Agent Bootz is on the case! That ho is like a roach! She's everywhere! She did make a hot comment about Tiger:

"She's a thirsty bitch and I"m done!"

Damn, that's cold at least give her a glass of ice water. You know the bitch is thirsty and you're not helping her out! I don't think Foofy Foo wants a girl like that.



Foofy told Krazy that he was too tired, but really he just wanted to rub Delishis's doo doo marks all over him. Do two sets of doo doo marks make a right?



Krazy needs to chill, this is not I Wanna Be a Soap Star!



The next challenge involved the other 6 girls that didn't compete in the restaurant challenge. They were ordered to clean the house of Warren G, because he had such a "crazy and wild" party (meaning Vh1 interns spent the day throwing shit around a rented house to make it look like a crazy party) the night before. Shit even Warren looks surprised after hearing he had a party. I mean does he have anymore friends?



Somethin Like Dat could pick up trash right next to Boy George! She's a pro!



Nibblz and her nipplz won the challenge, because she wasn't afraid of cleaning up diarrhea in the bathroom.



Meanwhile, Somethin overheard Agent Bootz talking shit about her taking a shit. We're still on that?! I wouldn't mess with Poor Unfortunate Souls she could swallow that midget whole and then poo poo her out all over the faux marble foyer.



Buckwild sat there laughing the whole time. That bitch is just like me! We love to talk shit, but don't want to get involved.
"Bootz likes to stir things up. I love to watch her ass yell at people. She be like I will shake my motherfucking ass when I want to shake my fucking ass. That's Bootz!"

Bootz really should trademark that tagline as her life motto. That's poetry.



After her argument with Bootz, Somethin proceeds to do some kind of tribal fighting dance at the other girls while chanting "I bet you can't do it like me bitch WHAT bet you can't do it like this."

This ho is so well known for her loose bowels that they have to keep toilet paper in all areas of the house at ALL times. That poor ficus doesn't want tp all over him, but it's got to be done if Somethin is around.



Nibblz got a romantic dinner with Foofy as a prize. More importantly I think we've found our Hottie of the season. WTF is this ho wearing?! Does she get her styling tips from Catra?!



Sidenote: Are Bootz and Buckeey the same bitch? No seriously. I can't tell them a part. Maybe the producers couldn't either and they gave Buckeey a nasty fake rose to always wear.



While Nibblz was trying her best to act like she was into Foofy....the other girls played the truth or dare game. Payshintz had to say what she thought about everyone and she said she didn't like Bootz cause she was loud and well....here's what Bootz replied with:



Wait, so is she trying to say that Payshintz only likes Asian WITH small dicks or Payshintz likes Asians because they have small dicks. I'm confused.

Payshintz got wasted and confided in Nibblz in what turned out to be a Clockwork Orange moment. The entire conversation was conducted in Chinese, but Nibblz only knew how to say "egg roll" in Chinese.

Oh and by "they're really all" she meant Bootz.



And for those of you that don't watch the show, Nibblz has a lisp working overtime. So she says "Chinese" like "Thinese". I like her just for that reason, because people with lisps rule. Well, they really just sound retarded and retarded people rule.



That night, Agent Bootz takes a note from Toasteee last weeks and rats out Tiger, Somethin and Payshintz.



Foofy listens to her and lets Somethin and Tiger go. Foofy just couldn't get over the fact that Somethin deficated all over his floor. Ok, another side note: I am seriously trying to use different ways to say shitting on the floor! Damn, this is for real.

Oh and her real name is Tykeisha, but you know everyone in her hood is now calling her Tyshitsa.



I don't like when we learn their real names. I mean it's like looking at someone that wears glasses, not wearing them for the first time. It's just not right. I don't want to know their real names! That's a violation. Especially since Tiger's real name is Britney. That just makes so much sense...not really...but it made sense to say that.



Payshintz kept her promise that she made earlier and exited the show. Even though Foofy gave her a clock, she turned it down and took her ass back to Hong Kong.



Toasteee was perplexed by this, but you know inside she was thinking "Does this mean I get her glass of champagne?"



Bootz has been called a whore more times in this episode than any other girls. This is a feat in itself!



Next week is going to be the HOTTEST shit ever. Here's a taste:

Nibblz on Toasteee to Foofy:
"I think there's something you should know. She's an adult model and a porn star."

HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just shat on the floor ala Somethin!

The Dlisted Report

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest has made $923.8 million Worldwide making it the 6th highest grossing film of all-time. The film has yet to open in certain markets and could possibly become the 3rd highest grossing film right behind Titanic and Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. [Variety]

Marlon Wayans will produce and develop Getting Ugly for Dreamworks. The story is about a handsome lifestyle mogul who wakes up hideously ugly because of a curse. As a result he must discover his inner beauty to save his company and win over the woman he loves. Wayans will not star. [THR]

Snakes on a Plane failed to top Talladega Nights for the top spot this weekend. SOAP brought in $13.8 million coming in at #2. Talladega Nights brought in $14.1 million putting itself in the top spot for the third week in a row. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 18th!

nicole richie has to rest a spell after eating a whole teaspoon each of orange and green mush. - backwash

Runner-ups:

It seems the placenta just wasn't enough for Tom! - hop

That alien is a child! I can't believe you would post that MK- that's alienography!!! Look at those fingers, those ears- wait there are no ears- what its wearing.... That is definitely a kid alien that's about to be eaten! You'd better remove this post!!! - redegg

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sabrina from Happy Sabrina

Birthday Sluts

Kenny Rogers (68)
Jeff Stryker (44)
Hayden Panettiere (17)
Paris Bennett (18)
Brody Jenner (23)
Kelis (26)
Kimberly Stewart (27)
Alicia Witt (31)
Carrie-Ann Moss (39)
Kim Cattrall (50)
Loretta Devine (57)
Peter Weir (62)

This is Going to Be on YouTube Any Minute!

My new favorite homegirl in the entire World, Britney Spears, introduced her husband at the Teen Choice Awards this evening. KFed made his National TV debut and hopefully his last appearance with the hideously awful single, Lose Yourself. It's safe to say that Eminem doesn't have to worry about another white rapper taking his throne.

Bitch needs to stay at home and smoke weed and stop trying to have a career. I have heard better rhymes from the rapping granny.

Um..She Forgot to Thank Her Weave Master!

Jessica Alba won Choice Hottie at the Teen Choice Awards tonight and here's what she said:

"I would like to thank my make-up artist, my hairdresser, my stylist, the photographers who have been airbrushing my pictures for years and my manicurist who have been scraping the crust off of my elbows & feet for years."

"It's all an image and if you want to be truly hot..be yourself"

[ThxChristopher]

Panty Creamer of the Day: Stephen Dorff

Katie Has No Idea

Katie Holmes has no idea what's going on. Bitch looks drugged up as Tom takes her to a meal at Maestro's Steakhouse. Even the chef has come out to try and save her. I'm surprised she has a cell phone, but I bet you it's been programmed to only call Tom, the Scientology Center and Suri's robot maker.

Blohan Quote of the Day!

"I started getting prank calls from people on my voicemail. They'd be screaming and saying stuff that was said in the 'firecrotch' video.

"Obviously Paris is very comfortable making videos."

Hot Slut of the Week: Dianne Wiest

Age: 58
Birthday: March 28, 1948
Birth Name: Dianne Wiest

Original Date of HSL of the Day: August 18, 2006

Claim to Fame: One of Woody Allen's favorites and became a household name after winning an Oscar for Hannah and Her Sisters.

Where is she now? Acting her ass off!

Why is she HSL of the Week? Bullets Over Broadway is one hot piece of cinema and this ho stole the show.

When There's No TP...

Use your dress!

This tip has been brought to you by Britney Spears!

[Thx Kristi] [Pic: x17]

Adrien is Too Fragile for this Kind of Activity

Adrien Brody tried to be all Brad Pitt and shit in Beverly Hills on August 15th. He's trying to prove he can be a hot biker chick. Bitch doesn't belong on that shit. He belongs in like a hot vintage sports car. Who is that Kevin Spacey slut getting on my piece?

Jordan is a Drunk!

Peter Andre is due to his release his autobiography and in it he claims that his wife, Katie Andre aka Jordan, is a huge drunk!

"I trust her when she's sober but I don't trust her when she's drinking. It makes our relationship vulnerable. From the moment she starts drinking I lose her and I don't get her back until the next morning.

"I'm not jealous of anybody until Kate is drunk. There's nobody I feel threatened by when she's sober. But if she's drinking I know she's capable of anything—the devil gets inside her and she's a nightmare."

"Kate's had problems with drink. She knows she can't handle it. It turns her into someone I don't recognise and I don't like."

"When I've confronted Kate about her drinking it turned into massive rows," he says.

"I'm not asking her never to have a drink again. I'd just rather she didn't have ten!"

Who cares?! This makes me like this ho even more. There's nothing more classy than a big-breasted, fake hair, British chick that loves to drink. Besides, I'd have to have more than a few to get with that! He's a fat fuck!

More Wonky Eye Madness

Jane Kaczmarek at the Creative Emmy Awards on August 19th

Hot Slut of the Day!

Stormy

Birthday Sluts

Fred Durst (36)
James Marsters (44)
Amy Adams (31)
Joan Allen (50)
Robert Plan (58)
Connie Chung (60)
Isaac Hayes (64)