Dlisted: 08/20/2006 - 08/27/2006

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Has Beyonce Lost Her Damn Mind?

This is the single cover to Beyonce's next crappy song, Ring the Alarm. Unfortunately, those alligators were probably on ludes or I'd wish that they snap her ass. In case you haven't seen it, here's the awful video that goes with it.

Somebody get Matthew Knowles away from her ass.

Chestica Simpson is "Special"

Chestica Simpson wears some glasses that should've never been made as she whores her album out in Philadelphia.

I'd love to see her close her mouth completely for at least 5 seconds. I'm sure the door to the hidden city would open.

Ewww, Maggie is so FAT!

Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal probably going to get Mexican food for her fat ass in NYC on August 23rd

Calm down I know she's knocked up!

McConagay is Cheating on Lance

Is this dude like a man of the sea? Is he a merman or something? I swear he like lives on the beach and he never wears clothes. I bet you his real job is giving those annoying hair braids on the beach.

Anyway, he was photographed pretending to some kiss some girl. He's trying to make Lance jealous. They had a spat, because Lancey didn't give Mattey the lead in his biopic.


The New Miss Teen USA is a Genius

Katie Blair, Miss Montana, was crowned Miss Teen USA 2006 on August 15th. This whore must've sucked all the judges off to win, because she obviously didn't win with her smarts.

Here was her winning question and answer:

"Miss Montana, what does integrity mean to you."

This dumb bitch said: "To me, integrity is someone who knows what their goals are and goes for them. Integrity is someone who doesn't let anyone stand in their way of accomplishing what they want."

I see how they do it in the MT! Fuck brains when you have no gag reflex!

Is He Going to Play a Corpse?

KFed is on a roll! He made his National TV debut at the Teen Choice Awards this past week and now he will make his TV acting debut this October. He will star on the top-rated show CSI.

As Federline tells PEOPLE while on the set of the CBS show, "This is pretty much my first time acting. It's the first time I've actually had a speaking role." He adds that the offer came about quickly. "I was doing stuff for the Teen Choice Awards," he says, "and got the call while we were rehearsing and I pissed in my pants! I was excited right off the bat. It's the only show that I really, really watch."

Federline, 28, started shooting his part in Los Angeles on Thursday night. He will play a menacing, arrogant teen who harasses investigators Nick Stokes (George Eads) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) on a job. The episode is tentatively scheduled to air in October.

Do I smell an Emmy?! Let's hope this leads to other acting gigs. I hear that they still haven't cast the lead role in Hamlet for Shakespeare in the Park?


The Photoshop Awards: Janet Jackson in FHM


Hot Slut of the Day!

Danielle from Big Brother 7

Birthday Sluts

Macaulay Culkin (26)
Thalia (34)
Shirley Manson (40)
Wanda De Jesus (46)
Branford Marsalis (46)
Barbert Schroeder (65)

Friday, August 25, 2006

TomKat Goes to a Meeting

These photos are from a meeting Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went to yesterday. They are in Los Angeles, but Katie's blood is so cold from being drugged that she must wear a winter coat to keep her warm. I'm thinking they were going to a meeting to see how their robot baby is coming along.

What kind of conditioner does Tom use? His hair looks so soft. Jizz, right?

The Pussycat Dolls "Don't Need a Man"

This is the latest video from PCD called "I Don't Need a Man."

They don't need one, because they already are men. Bada bump!

[Thx Vic]

Reichen is Thinking About Dollar Signs

Lance Bass & Reichen at Social on August 23rd


JLo Isn't Knocked Up

JLo is calling Jesse McCartney a liar and denying she's knocked up. Jesse told reporters that JLo wasn't fired from Dallas, but that she quit because she's pregnant. Jesse is currently dating Katie Cassidy who is featured in the movie.

A source said: "Jesse McCartney doesn'’t even know Jennifer. His girlfriend has never even met Jennifer. She just got cast in the movie after Jennifer was already out. Jennifer is shooting the cover of a high fashion magazine. Do you think she could wear couture if she was pregnant?"

Um, that's what photoshop is for! JLo's rep also denies the claim.

So bitch was just fired I guess.

[Us Weekly]

Crayons are hot!

by Lahoma00

I loved this segment when they showed it on Sesame Street. I hope it teaches us all to paint with the colors of the wind. Gross.

Afternoon Crumbs

Harry Morton is hittin that - Egotastic!

A Victoria Silvstedt history lessons - A Socialite's Life

Eva LongWHORIA wants to be taken seriously - Hollywood Rag

The Mel Gibson commemorative tee - Cityrag

Jake Gyllenhaal is such a ladies man -Popsugar

The low-rent Pussycat Dolls are blowing up the charts - Concrete Loop

Who the hell is Lucy Pinder? - Hollywood Tuna

Kelly Brook is the best bod of the decade - IDLYITW

Brad Pitt and Matt Damon in hats - Just Jared

Chestica Simpson has a lot of rules - Mollygood

Janice Dickinson Has the Grossest Boobs

Janice Dickinson and her wonky boobs at a SF Fashion Week Event at the Clift Hotel on August 24th

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Sesame Street is forcing the Cookie Monster to eat fruit from now ib. We already have a fruit monster...his name is Tom Cruise.

Elizabeth Taylor will get really mad if you put her in cheap seats, but she probably won't be mind if you put her near the hot dog cart.

Meat Loaf knows how to curse with the best of em!

Sumner Redstone's wife had something to do with the Cruise getting the boot.

The Spores is My Favorite New Band!

Nicole Richie and Brody Jennfer leaving Mr. Chows on August 23rd

I really want this to be the truth, but apparently Nicole Richie went to see a band called The Spores at The Viper Room in West Hollywood. Once she sat down and the band noticed her, comedy ensued.


After an altercation with a photographer, Nicole went to drown her sorrows in the Viper Room, where LA art-pop band The Spores were playing. Sadly for Nicole, the band spotted her diving into a booth and used their trademark on-stage puppets to take the piss out of her inability to afford food, culminating in one of the puppets saying, "I screwed Nicole Ritchie... and wrapped my whole dick around her waist." Nicole stormed out telling doormen that she was going to sue.

Oh and what ever band member has the dick that can go around her waist, call me!

Got Becks?

Here's a scan of David Beckham's new Got Milk ad overseas. Don't be nasty, but that looks like jizz. He's still the hotness.

[Thx Pierra]

Eddie Murphy Really Really Wants Scary Spice

Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown and Eddie Murphy have been dating since this past June. Eddie is so enamored with the fallen pop star that he has proposed to her. A friend of the couple claims they are currently shopping around and looking for the perfect ring. The pair also each got a tattoo with the other's name last month.

Eddie recently divorced his wife, Nicole, in April. The couple has five kids. Melanie has a daughter from a previous marriage.

I like this couple. Eddie digs the trannies and Melanie is probably cool enough to strap on. A match made in freaky sex heaven!

[Post Chronicle]

I'm Disappointed in the Sharks

Sharks everywhere had the perfect opportunity for a serious meal! Well in serious I mean a rubbery and bitter piece of saggy flesh.

Fishsticks Paltrow was perfect bait as she surfed near her husband, Chris Martin's, parents home in Cornwall, England.

Damn you sharks! At least why couldn't a jelly fish sting her in the ass!? Anything?!

[Daily Mail]

Why Isn't Britney a Supermodel?

This is the two-dolla question! Britney Spears is so good at posing with different objects that she should really replace Gisele Bundchen as the top model in the World. Here's our girl at the Primary's Action's and Adwil Agency's Emmy Suite on August 24th. She is posing for anything and everything just to get some free shit.

Doesn't she totally look like Gwen Stefani with that top hat on? God, she's a beautiful person.

[Thx Lindz]

Michael K on MySpace

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