I Can See Her Implants

Blohan partied with friends yesterday in Malibu. She showed us her fake tits and the fact that homegirl has no ass. For being as young as she is, she has a pretty shitty body. I guess crack will do that to you.

That whole scene looks so annoying. Being around all these sluts just on their cell phones talking about Kitson, Pure in Las Vegas and how fucking edgy they are. I'd pray for a Tsunami.

This is Who Blohan is Banging

No, not the woman...yet

This is a clip from The Daily Show back in June of this year. It shows Blohan's latest boy toy, Harry Morton being interviewed for his Pink Taco restaurant. He's cute enough, but isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

[Thx Deniz]

She's Looked A Lot Worse!

I'm going to cut this bitch a break. Melanie Griffith doesn't look that frightening as she attends the Imagen Awards last night in Los Angeles. I'm not sure what the Imagen awards are, but I'm going to take a guess and say it involves plastic surgery in which Melanie would win the "most improved". That tattoo is still the fugliest ever. That is not how you show love.

She is One Sexy Bitch

Britney Spears and SPF created a media frenzy at Fred Segal in Los Angeles yesterday. Brit decided to dress for the paps and traded in her hot platform flip-flops for heels and a white dress. Damn she's so hot, I just want to jump her! You know she'd be into squirting her breast milk into my ahole. On that note, I'm off to kill myself.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Allison Kelly from Project Runway 3

Birthday Sluts

John Stamos (43)
Lil' Romeo (17)
Erika Christensen (24)
Fat Joe (36)
Matthew Perry (37)
LeAnn Womack (40)
Kevin Dillon (41)
Kyra Sedgwick (41)
Adam Arkin (50)
Peter Gallagher (51)
Tipper Gore (58)
Bill Clinton (60)

How Do You Fix Wonky Eye?

Paris Hilton at an in-store signing at Best Buy in Los Angeles on August 18th

Photoshop is Already a Friend of Suri Cruise

My favorite source of gossip, Popbitch, claims that a Vanity Fair staffer spilled the beans on Suri Cruise.

A source from the Vanity Fair shoot of Suri Cruise says the baby looks enough like Cruise and Holmes for their parentage to be plausible, but that it is a bit of a runt, and required 21 days of photography, plus three days of digital touching-up, before the magazine and celebrity parents had a cover image they liked.

Sick! 21 days of shooting? Are they doing an homage to The Ten Commandments? Actually, that would be kind of hot.

Panty Creamer of the Day: Boy George

Boy George on day 5 of his community service in NYC on August 18th

They are Such Comedians

I'm guessing that Tara Reid and her pals either received these t-shirts at the even they were at or they just came back from a Spencer's gift store. They think are so funny. That's what cheap drugs will do to you. Tara points out that her friend is wearing a tee that says "Been In a Hilton."

It would be funnier if it said "Been in a Hilton and all I got was a lousy STD"

Afternoon Crumbs

Good Catholics use condoms [Popbytes]

Porno tube rules [BWE]

Winona Ryder gets revenge on a bully [Hollywood Rag]

Hot chicks at the SOAP premiere [Egotastic!]

Owen Wilson & Kate Hudson's morning after [Cityrag]

Aretha Franklin is gigantic [Concrete Loop]

Fergie shouldn't perform by herself [Hollywood Tuna]

I know you can't get enough of Richie eating pizza [IDLYITW]

For real, what is wrong with Keira Knightley's boyfriend? [Just Jared]

Oh how I missed Cisco Adler [Popsugar]

Ok, now I really missed Gabriel Aubry [A Socialite's Life]

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the smile. Congrats to Anna for getting it right first!

Finally She's Sedated

Courtney Love looks like a beautiful disaster as she escorts her daughter, Frances Bean, to Rumer Willis' birthday party. She has no idea what she's doing or where she's going? I bet she has the mad drools. Sedation does that to you.

[People]

Blohan is Really Serious About Her Career

Lindsay at Smashbox Studios in L.A. on August 15th

Friends of Lindsay Blohan are saying that she's learned her lesson and is curbing her partying ways to focus on her film career. She has apparently stopped going out as much and instead hangs out with her boyfriend, Harry Morton in an effort to clean up.

The turning point came when she received a letter from her boss at Morgan Creek.

A source said: "It was a turning point. She realized it was a matter of either stepping up or stepping down."

"Lindsay took this seriously; she takes her career seriously. She has been going home early every night and [arriving] at work on time since the letter"

Pff, I give it a week. Kicking heroin and crack takes much more than missing a few parties a week.

UPDATE - I had to remove the photos y'all, but here's one from People.

[AHN]

"Am I in UsWeekly Today?!?" - JLove

JLove knows that one day she'll be just as cool as Tori and grace the pages of this magazine! Seriously, she's photographed with one like every other day.

[Photo: x17]

The Odd Couple

What are Michael Stipe and Michael Douglas doing together or is that CZJ without her wig and make-up. Anyway, this odd couple spent some time together and grabbed an ice cream cone on the Italian island of Ponzo.

The two performers caused quite a stir in the sleepy harbour town of Ponza Porto as they checked out some of the local shops. And the renowned musician and his actor friend also took time out to indulge in a sweet treat in a local 'gelateria' or ice cream shop, much to the delight of the other holidaymakers who enjoyed an unexpected brush with stardom.

WTF?!

[Hello]

Which is Gayer?

Ricky Martin at a MTV Unplugged press conference in Miami, FL on August 17th

Is Jennifer Hudson Oscar Bound?

American Idol reject, Jennifer Hudson, beat out Idol winner, Fantasia, for the role of Effie White in the silver screen version of Dreamgirls. Earlier screenings have people already talking about Jennifer being nominated and winning the Oscar for best supporting actress. It's a bit premature if you ask me. Nominations don't come out until January or February?

The film will be released this December and will probably turn her into a superstar.

But..is it just me or does she look just a little like Juwanna Mann?



[LA Times]

Does She Even Remember What Her Old Body Looked Like?

Britney Spears told People Magazine that she can't wait to get back to her old body. She desperately wants to pop her second baby out so she can start working on getting her toned arms back.

She said: 'I'm so excited to sweat like I used to - now I can't because you're always kind of scared, just kind of protective."

'I'm so excited about getting my body back and getting a routine scheduled. I'm definitely going to start working out in a huge way.'

What exactly does she mean by "working out"? I think all Britney has to do is stop drinking those 10,000 calorie Starbucks Frappuccinos and homegirl will be ok. She probably pours that shit on her cookie crisp in the morning time.

Is it just me or does her hair look seriously weird in these pics? SPF is hot.

[Monsters and Critics]

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Pete Doherty....yeah I think you know the rest.

Obla dee obla dah...Kellie Martin is expecting!

Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas think if they combine their Dlevelness, it will take them to at least C level status.

Somebody has finally gotten fed up with Anna Wintour and fired her as a client. In unrelated news a man was found floating in the Hudson with a vintage Halston pump stuck up his rear end.

Pam Anderson's Skankiness Kills Flowers!

Pamela Anderson made a visit to the vet's office for a routine check-up on herself. She showed up barefoot and managed to kill some flowers that couldn't stand her skank odor.

Yes, I know those flowers are naturally like that! Am I that stupid? Don't answer that.

In case you care, she got hitched again to Kid Rock in Nashville. Yawn, shouldn't they spend more time on their careers?

See more pics of her ass at x17!

UPDATE - I didn't even notice her belly! Damn, I'm not on it today. Ewww, that baby is going to be fug.

BREAKING NEWS!!! Ashton & Demi Never Argue!

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are coming up on their first wedding anniversary and everything is still as perfect as perfect can be. Ashton told Parade Magazine that their relationship is like any other and believe it or not, they just don't fight.

"We had one argument in the first three months of dating, and since then we haven't had any. We deal with issues before they become arguments."

Maybe it's because they are both too stupid to argue. When it starts they forgot what the hell they were talking about and instead try on each other's clothes and have a fashion show or reenact scenes from Ghost, but they fight over who gets to be Whoopi.

[People]

Are You Ready for Some Snakes on a Motherf**kin' Plane?!

The movie event of the year is here. Snakes on a Plane opens nationwide today. What has become an internet cult classic will finally find itself on a much broader playing field. The premiere was held last night and man were the stars out. And by stars I mean the snakes.

Seriously, I feel like I don't need to see this movie since I've seen like 50 trailers clips of this thing!!! I mean, it's about people on a plane with some snakes and then they kill the snakes and voila! Right?

The Dlisted Report

Daniel Craig (James Bond) has signed on to the The Golden Compass which is the first film in a trilogy. Craig will play Lord Asriel, a ruthless and mysterious adventurer who is the uncle of Lyra Belacqua, the young girl who journeys to a parallel universe to save her best friend. Eva Green and Nicole Kidman also star. Shooting begins September 4th in the UK. [Variety]

Susan Sarandon and Helena Bonham Carter will play the title roles in Eleanor and Colette. Marc Bruce Rosin's script follows Sarandon's Eleanor, a patient at a psychiatric institute, who retains Colette (Bonham Carter), an attorney, to represent her complaint against the hospital, which has been prescribing her psychopharmacological drugs. During the lengthy process, the two women bond and form a special friendship. Shooting begins next Spring in San Francisco, Vancouver and Germany. [Production Weekly]

Michael Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) has cast Mos Def, Mia Farrow and Melonie Diaz in Be Kind Rewind. The film also stars Jack Black. Black will portray a goofball who becomes magnetized trying to sabotage a power plant and then erases all the tapes in the videostore while visiting a pal (played by Mos Def) who works there and his co-worker (Diaz). The friends then re-create and refilm every movie that the store's only loyal customer decides to rent. Shooting starts next month in NJ. [Variety]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dianne Weist

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 17th!

See, even dogs know that the Hokey-Pokey is what it's all about. - Big Toe

[Thx AA]

Birthday Sluts

Christian Slater (37)
Edward Norton (37)
Aphex Twin (35)
Malcolm Jamal-Warner (36)
Craig Bierko (42)
Madeline Stowe (48)
Denis Leary (49)
Patrick Swayze (54)
Robert Redford (69)
Roman Polanski (73)

The Best Kiki Can Look

Kiki Dunst graces the cover of Vogue as Marie Antoinette. Kiki will star as the young Queen in a Sofia Coppola directed film which opens this Fall. Honestly, this is the best that bitch can look. She's shot from far with tons of costumes and make-up to distract from her mushy body and rancid face.

Sebastian: The Cat with the Gold Grill

Sebastian is a 1-year-old persian cat from Indiana and his owner dentist decided to pimp him out.

His owner, dentist David Steele, said he gave Sebastian gold crowns to help strengthen the fanged feline's teeth. Steele said he was worried the unique canines would break off or become a problem.

"It's possible to work on animals the same way we do humans," he said. "I did it to strengthen (Sebastian's) teeth, but it had an excellent cosmetic result. The cat gets a lot of attention now. Everyone is tickled to death when they see him."

After the gold was put on, Sebastian would not come around his owner for days. He was pissed! I would be too! I'm telling you right now this is going to started a trend. You know all those rappers are going to do this to their animals.

[MSNBC] [Thx to all who sent to me]

The Photoshop Awards: Eva in Maxim

Kelly Clarkson is Fug but Fun!

Afternoon Crumbs

It's Top Model time [A Socialite's Life]

Mel wants a deal [People]

Damn, a bitch can't be bloated in Hollywood without someone calling her pregnant [Cityrag]

Beyonce's diet recommendations [Popsugar]

Penny Cruz's nip slip [Egotastic!]

Rihanna has a hot bod [Concrete Loop]

Celebrities will get something a little extra in their goodie bags [Hollywood Rag]

Xtina in one of Mimi's dresses [Hollywood Tuna]

Blohan is not welcome at Justin Timberlake's party [IDLYITW]

Your daily Wentworth Miller [Just Jared]

It's Katie [Mollygood]

I See Police Officer People

Haley Joel Osment, 18, was caught drinking and driving last month. On July 20th at 1am he lost control of his 1995 Saturn and crashed into a brick pillar in a Los Angeles suburb. Nobody was hurt except Haley himself. He was rushed to the hospital and treated for broken ribs. He was also caught with possession of weed! Damn, it's like that?

TMZ has learned actor Haley Joel Osment, 18, will be charged Thursday with misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol. Osment will also be charged with driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher, with an enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher. And Osment will be charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana while driving. He will also be charged with the infraction of driving under the age of 21 with a blood alcohol level of .05 or higher.

The case will be filed Thursday afternoon by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office.

The collision caused the vehicle to flip over onto its roof and come to rest a short distance from the initial impact. The actor was reportedly alert and talkative following the accident, and was alone at the time of the crash.

A 95' Saturn! Didn't he get paid a lot for seeing dead people or whatever? Anyway, Dakota Fanning is so going to be caught smoking crack next. Child stars know how to party!

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the smile. Congrats to Angie for getting it right first!

You Don't Say?!

Yes this is an old pic of Brit when she was knocked up with SPF

This is Me: "So Brit Brit, why on earth did you get knocked up again?!"

This is Brit: "It just kind of happened."

This is Me: "SICK! You are going to have to give KFed more of your hard earned dough if you keep popping his kids."

This is Brit: "I'm going to wait a while for the next (one)!"

This is Me: "You better or he's going to bleed you dry! And ewww you look so fat!"

This is Brit: "I feel like I've been pregnant for 10 years!"

This is Me: "You look it, you fatty fat fat! Why the hell do you keep dropping SPF! He's going to have to ride the short bus if you don't stop."

This is Brit: "It is now starting to get a little tiring, holding (Sean Preston)"

This is Me: "I feel you, he is fat so I can understand why you keep dropping him."

This is Brit: "It makes me feel needed and wanted, so I like it too."

This is Me: "Oh damn...when you drop him? Isn't that called munchausen syndrome?!"

This is Brit: "Crunching ice and chocolate, oh my God."

This is Me: "WTF! You aren't making sense! Are you sure you're not the one who has been dropped. Seriously, why are you so fat?!"

This is Brit: "I'll get up in the middle of the night and I'll get a Hershey's bar, the real big ones, and I'll put it in the microwave and melt it and eat it. It sounds disgusting, but it's so satisfying."

This is Me: "Hurl"

Read the real interview here

Justin Timberlake Quote of the Day!

“I remember the first time it was reported that I smoked pot. I was like, y’all don’t? that’s why I sort of respect Kate Moss. I think you lose once you start trying to analyze what people like. So I’m like, ‘I hope you like how I live, but if you don’t, you don’t.”

She's the Only One Feeling It

Paris Hilton & Caroline D'whore at her album party at Marquee, NYC on August 16th

Paris Hilton understands why people might not at first take her music seriously. She wants us to know that this is her passion and her dream.

"I can understand people prejudging, but the music speaks for itself. I've been singing and playing the piano and violin since I'm 6 years old, so it's something I've been doing my whole life."
"I know music, so I know people will love it."

She's also been sucking dick her whole life and she's not good at that. I mean I've heard the album and there are some good songs, but anybody with money can pay some bitch to write them good songs that doesn't mean you're talented.

Furthermore, is Caroline D'whore on her payroll?

[Chicago Tribune]

Panty Creamer of the Day: Channing Tatum

Dumb Ass Redneck

Troy Lee Gentry is a member of the country duo Montgomery Gentry, most importantly he is a grade A dumb ass. Troy has been accused of shooting a black bear that was marked as tamed. Meaning the poor bear wasn't a threat and was down like that.

Gentry, 39, of Franklin, Tenn., and Lee Marvin Greenly, 46, of Sandstone, appeared Tuesday before U.S. Magistrate Judge Raymond Erickson in connection with a sealed indictment returned by a federal grand jury in Minneapolis.

Authorities allege that Gentry purchased the bear from Greenly, a wildlife photographer and hunting guide, then killed it with a bow and arrow in an enclosed pen on Greenly's property in October 2004. The government alleges that Gentry and Greenly tagged the bear with a Minnesota hunting license and registered the animal with the state Department of Natural Resources as a wild kill.

Gentry allegedly paid about $4,650 for the bear, named Cubby. The bear's death was videotaped, and the tape later edited so Gentry appeared to shoot the animal in a "fair chase" hunting situation, the government alleges.

If convicted, both Gentry and Greenly face a maximum penalty of five years in federal prison and a $20,000 fine. Gentry's manager, Johnny Dorris, said Wednesday that Gentry, an outdoorsman and hunter, expects to be exonerated.

You know I'm like Snow White and I have love for the animals and shit, that's why this story makes me sick. That poor bear was just out minding his business and picking berries and this redneck has to ruin it. He was about to taste the sweet deliciousness of a ripe strawberry. GD him! Don't worry, he's going to see this bear in hell!

Doesn't Troy kind of look like a certain blogger?

[TMZ]

Jen Aniston is Not Engaged

Wow, I'm relieved. I mean I care sooo much about that ho's happiness. I couldn't sleep at night thinking of the possible fact that she was going to marry Vince Vaughn. Seriously.
Jennifer spoke out against the rumors that fat Vince proposed to her:

"I'm not engaged and I don't have a ring and I haven't been proposed to," Aniston said in a telephone conversation she initiated to debunk the engagement rumors. Normally we don't even acknowledge these things because they're endless, at this point. The thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My Aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they're getting angry.

"My dad calls and he says, 'Honey, it's on the CNN crawl,' and I'm going, 'Wait a second!' When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, 'This is insane.' People are getting fed a lot of bull."
Oh poor thing Jen! Remind me to send a fruit basket to your multi-million dollar beach mansion so that you can place my goodies in a $5,000 crystal bowl. Go sob to somebody else you stupid cow. I mean it's your job deal with it. I'm sure you'd be crying a lot more if you couldn't pay your bills or afford your $2,000 haircuts. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of these homely hos bitching and moaning.

[People]

Ok, So He Does Dress Kind of Bad

I'm going to agree with Esquire Magazine that SPF is one of the World's worst dressed boys, men, whatever. But it's not his fault. Look at his mother. Those shorts were not mean to see the light of day. Poor SPF, he needs a style and not Rachel Zoe, because he really doesn't need a coke problem at his age.

[x17]

Daddy's Girl

Jessica Simpson has followed her father's orders and canned her agent! What a dumb ho! Joe Simpson apparently didn't get along with Brandt Joel of CAA so he instructed his daughter to move on to Rick Nicita also at CAA.

A source said: "“Brandt got into a huge fight with Joe Simpson. Joe is constantly trying to butt in and he doesn'’t know what the hell he‚’s doing. Jessica took her father's side and fired him."”

This contradicts reports that Jessica was trying to distance herself from her father and his business decisions.

Bitch is going down faster than Paris Hilton in a football locker room.

[Us Weekly]

Brandon Davis is a One-Trick Pony

Ok, Brandon Davis is only known for using the word "firecrotch". That made him famous and gave him his 10-minutes and now we're over him. He thinks that the world still gets off on it, so he continues to use it. Pathetic.

At Paris Hilton's album launch party in Miami, a drunken Brandon climbed the stage and announced to the party goers:

"I wrote a special new song called 'Firecrotch,' and it's for Lindsay Lohan!"

He went on to ramble and tell the retarded story about how the name Firecrotch was born. A friend of Scott Storch's claims the songs is real and was recorded by Davis and Storch.

What a piece of trash. I won't be surprised if he comes out with a line of Firecrotch t-shirts and a fragrance.

[Page Six]

Reality Tears

Last night was a sad night in reality television. My beloved Zayra Alvarez was wrongfully ejected from Rock Star: Supernova. Ok, everyone knew she wasn't going to win but she brought originality and strong performances to the show every single week. She also brought some hot outfits. Patrice should've went home. She butchered Hole's Celebrity Skin and she just looks like a soccer mom trying to be a rocker. Don't worry, Supernova will reunite with Zayra again when they open for her World tour. Call me Zayra, I need some fashion tips.





Project Runway 3 also eliminated the wrong person. Alison was sent packing after she created a really disgusting dress, but it was her first time really messing up. Vincent who designed one of the most ridiculous outfits I've ever seen was spared. I'm thinking they kept him for good TV. Alison although a good designer was a little on the boring side. She's too sweet for the fashion business.

Laura is a tough bitch and she's going all the way. I know people hate her, but she don't play that.



It wasn't all tears of sadness....Benji beat out Travis to win the title of America's best dancer in the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance. He won a contract with Celine Dion's Las Vegas show. Celine also appeared via satellite and clearly was reading cue cards, because you know that ho doesn't give a shit. All I can say is I'm glad this show is over, because if I have to see Benji's fake smile one more time I'm going to get crazier than Mary Murphy.

Man Confesses to Killin JonBenet Ramsey

Yesterday, a man was arrested in Thailand on sex charges unrelated to the JonBenet Ramsey case. This morning the man, John Mark Karr, has confessed to murdering her and claims it was an accident. He also told investigators that he was in love with her.

"I was with JonBenet when she died," suspect John Mark Karr, 41, told reporters in Bangkok. "I loved JonBenet, and she died accidentally."

Asked by a reporter if he was an innocent man, Karr replied, "No."

Karr's arrest Wednesday came nearly a decade after the 6-year-old girl's body was found in the basement of her Boulder, Colorado, home -- setting off a media sensation.

The arrest also came less than two months after JonBenet's mother, Patsy Ramsey, died of cancer at 49.

Karr, a former teacher, was arrested at his apartment in Bangkok.

According to colleagues at the Thai detention center where Karr was questioned, the suspect asked police what charges he was facing. When they replied first-degree murder, he said: "No, it's second-degree -- it wasn't intentional," said Lt. Gen. Suwat Thamrongrisakul, chief of Thai immigration. (Watch authorities describe what Karr said -- 14:54)

Karr will be extradited to Boulder within the next week and has been charged with murder, kidnapping and sexual assault on a child, said Ann Hurst, a Department of Homeland Security attache at the U.S. Embassy in Bangkok.

Karr's ex-wife, Lisa, says she does not believe he had anything to do with JonBenet's death since he was with her at the time of the murder. Karr is said to believe to have lived near the Ramsey's in Georgia.

I am curious to see how the ransom letter and all of that plays a part in this. I'm sure in the next few hours and days a lot of shit is going to come to light.

[CNN]

The Dlisted Report

Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd has been greenlit and will star Johnny Depp as the title character. The story of Sweeney Todd is of a wrongfully imprisoned barber in Victorian England who sets out to seek revenge on the judge who imprisoned him. The plot is foreshadowed in the first lines of the opening number: "Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd./His skin was pale and his eye was odd./He shaved the faces of gentlemen/Who never thereafter were heard of again." Shooting is expected to start on the Stephen Sondheim musical in early 2007 for a 2008 release. [Coming Soon]

Christopher Walken has replaced Jim Broadbent as Wilbur Turnblad in the big-screen version of the Broadway musical Hairspray. Shooting starts next month in Toronto. The film stars John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer, James Marsden, Zac Efron and newcomer Nikki Blonsky as Tracy. [Variety]

The Fantastic Four sequel has been given the name Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. In the sequel, the enigmatic, intergalactic herald, The Silver Surfer, comes to Earth to prepare it for destruction. As the Silver Surfer races around the globe wreaking havoc, Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben must unravel the mystery of The Silver Surfer and confront the surprising return of their mortal enemy, Dr. Doom, before all hope is lost. The film will be released in the summer of 2007 and once again star Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon and Michael Chiklis. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for August 16th!!

monkey on right: "pass that shit!!!" - Anorexorcist

Hot Slut of the Day!

Betty Garrett

Birthday Sluts

Sean Penn (46)
Donne Wahlberg (37)
Sue Hawk (45)
Belinda Carlisle (48)
Martha Coolidge (60)
Robert De Niro (63)
Maureen O'Hara (86)

Happy Birfdays to Brit Boy! You're one hot ho!

Attack of the Clones

MK Olsen & John Galliano

[MK Pic: Splash News] [Thx Rafay]

Mother of the Year: Dina Lohan

Well....there's not much to say about these pics except a family that snorts together...stays together or something. Hmm...let me sleep on this one.

[Perez Hilton] VIA [Popsugar]

Would You Hit It?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in NYC on August 11th

Yeah knowing me, I would. But I would hit that nasty yellow man purse he's carrying too.

Arrest Made in JonBenet Case!

I know this isn't gossip, but I am really obsessed with the JonBenet Ramsey case and an arrest was made today in Bangkok.

A Boulder County DA Investigator is bringing back a suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder case to the United States. The suspect was arrested in Bangkok Thailand this morning.

The suspect has confessed to certain elements of the crime that are unknown to the general public.

The suspect is expected to arrive back in the United States, possibly within the next two days, accompanied by an investigator from the Boulder DA's office.

The Boulder County DA's office has not confirmed the identity of the suspect but is expected to have a press conference later today.

Poor JonBenet! I still think that family had something to do with it. I don't know who this man is, but I'm sure he's related to the family in some way. That's some shady shit!

UPDATE - The man was arrested for unrelated sex charges in Thailand. Law officials from Boulder, CO are currently flying to Thailand to present officials there with documents and further investigate and bring him back to the United States.

[CNN]

Is This Bootz from Flavor of Love?!

The secret pasts of several of the Flavor of Love 2's girl are coming to the surface. We've already seen more of Somethin' than we want to see and now it looks like Bootz may have an amateur porn past. A reader of mine claims that Bootz performed for a website called spermonmyface. She goes by the name of Khia and well the name of the site pretty much explains it all. No it doesn't show Bootz playing chess it shows her looking like a mess. Literally.

I really can't just, but you can see for yourself. Unfortunately, the pics are way too NSFW to post here. So click here and here to just for yourself, but I wouldn't do that around children or your boss.

If it's her, she's just gone up in my books. Because it takes a certain kind of talent to let a dude dump on your eyes while being filmed!

Bootz's MySpace

Afternoon Crumbs

Vadge's cameltoe has a MySpace [BWE]

The real illusion is Jessica Biel's booty [Egotastic!]

Diddy's $11 million necklace gets stolen, JLo totally took it [Concrete Loop]

Xtina VS Scott Storch [Hollywood Rag]

Blohan's before and after boob job [Cityrag]

Nick Lachey would rather be stuck with Satan than Papa Joe [IDLYITW]

Keira Knightley's man is a fug Orlando Bloom [Just Jared]

Ivanka Trump tells it like it is [A Socialite's Life]

Brody Jenner is sick of paying for his girlfriend's food [Mollygood]

Paris breaks a record [Popsugar]

Avril Lavigne is super powerful (in Canada) [Hollywood Tuna]

Scissor Sisters

Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson had an emotional meeting where Jen apparently gave newly separate Kate some advice. WTF kind of advice could she give? I think these two should butt nasties. Maybe their annoyingness (not a word, I know) could cancel each other out. I will say that Jen always has hot shoes on. I think to distract from her dog face!

Nicole Richie isn't Anorexic!!!

On August 12th Nicole Richie left Planet Blue in Malibu when a photographer yelled to her:

“Nicole, you look disgusting. Gain some f—king weight!”

Nicole was hurt and talked to UsWeekly about the awful experience:

“You don’t scream at people that they are overweight, so what makes people think that they have the right to scream at me that I am underweight? It’s upsetting and mean. I am not anorexic. At the moment, I was just sick of everyone constantly bothering me about how I look. I walked up to the photographer and told him, ‘What if I really had anorexia? What if I had a disease? How would you feel about saying such horrible things?’ He probably just wanted to get a rise out of me, but I’m a human being and he hurt my feelings.”

If it's not true, why are you so upset?! Jesus, it's not a big deal. Get over it. She should take that as a compliment. She does look pretty sick though.

[UsWeekly] [Photo: Popbytes]

This is the Best Cher Has Ever Looked

[TMZ]

Does Owen Wilson Have Something to do with Kate Hudson's Break-up?

On Monday Kate Hudson announced that she was separating from her husband, Chris Robinson. This came as a complete shock to all of us. No reason was given for the split, but some people are saying that Kate became really close to her co-star, Owen Wilson, during filming of You, Me and Dupree. She may have had an affair with the blonde idiot and left her husband for him.

Others think that the media is just making shit up, that the marriage just ended because both are really busy.

Personally, I hope that this is true. I hope that Kate and Owen will fall in love and go live on an island together and get eaten slowly by crabs. That would mean that the World would be rid of two very annoying people.

These assholes deserve each other.

[Post Chronicle]

Vintage Posh

Posh Beckham sings acoustic! It's not AS awful as you think, however I think they probably dubbed this shit later on for the censors.

[Thx Lola]

A Million Miles Away

Claire Danes and Billy Crudup seem to want to be anywhere but there as they stroll through the streets of NYC on August 13th. The honeymoon is probably over and I'm sure Billy is already cheating on her ass! I mean he left his pregnant wife for that slag! Ugh, he's a pizza-faced midget anyway.

That's Where Her Album is Going Anyway

Beyonce arrives at Radio One in London August 15th

Beyonce is a dumb ass. She named her upcoming album B'Day. It's of course supposed to mean Birthday, but if it looks like it's pronounced "bidet." A bidet is basically a toilet that shoots up water to clean your dirty a-hole.

She was a guest on a BBC radio show when the DJ told her that he thought her album was pronounced bidet. She responded:

"When I came up with the title, I wasn't thinking about a bidet. And if I had, I would have probably named it birthday, or just B."

No, I think Bidet is just perfect.



[Contact Music] [Thx Clint]

Kate Moss is Too Busy Getting Drunk to Be in a Movie

Kate Moss was rumored to be in the running to play Paula Yates in a Michael Hutchence biopic. The INXS singer's brother has smashed those rumors.

"Kate Moss to play Paula? I'd rather see Carrie-Anne Moss from 'The Matrix' ."

Ouch. You mean Carrie-Ann Moss from Models Inc.? That's how I know her anyway. Johnny Depp is set to play Hutchence.

Speaking of sex, drugs and rock n' roll. These pics of Kate and Pete Doherty were taken a few days ago. Pete swears he's clean, but I can smell the crack residue from here.

They look like two sweaty raccoons getting caught going through garbage cans.

Justin Timberlake is Kind of Right

It seems that Justin Timberlake won't be dueting with American Idol winner, Taylor Hicks anytime soon. He's obviously not a fan of the silver-haired fox.

Justin said: '"People think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket."

"If [Hicks] has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he's gay, and if all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like [then he takes on a thick southern accent], 'Oh my god, I voted for a queer!' It's just too much pressure."

Damn that's cold, but his ass is right. But does Justin have the right to say that, it's not like he's Pavarotti himself? I mean he had to use a robot on his current single?



[Post Chronicle]

So You Think You Can Dance Finale Tonight!!

Travis Wall is one of four dancers who will be named the winner of the reality show So You Think You Can Dance. The finale airs tonight on Fox.

When Travis played dress up he probably never thought these pictures would see the light of day. Well, he has nothing to be ashamed of. Bitch has nicer legs than a lot of chicks. He needs to shave the pits though, that's not really ladylike.

My money is on Heidi taking the cake!

[ONTD]

Note to Beyonce: You are Not a Beastie Boy

I think Beyonce has been sucking too much Jay-Z dick, because homegirl thinks she's hardcore ghetto. Her new video for "Ring the Alarm" is a true disaster. Bitch has gone crazy! If this is the best she can do this album is going to suck ox nuts. You know LeToya is somewhere laughing.

[Thx JP]

Can't Get Clean

These pictures of Paris Hilton's album launch party at Suite in Miami last night just make me feel so dirty. After looking at the very greasy Paris with Scott Storch and Brandon Davis I had to shower at least 9 times with bleach and rip my skin off with steel wool. I still feel raw. I hope health inspectors were smart enough to quarantine this area and not let anybody out or I'm afraid we're in for some big trouble. Nicky Hilton and Ingrid "I Banged Madonna" Cesares were also on hand to get infected.

Gold Digging Reichen

Friend of Lance Bass are still very wary of his relationship with reality whore, Reichen Lemkuhl. They think Reichen is a gold digging spotlight hog that is only using Lance to further his fledgling career. Friends were also scared that Reichen was going to move in with Lance. Their fears have come true. But it might not have been by choice. Reichen's home is apparently in foreclosure.

A source said: "The default amount is roughly $642,400 - or slightly more than he won [in reality show 'The Amazing Race']."

Who knows? Maybe Lance is using Reichen for his hot body. If that was the case he should choose someone a little younger and with at least a little bit of a top lip.

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Ruffalo will co-star in Reservation Road. Phoenix and Ruffalo will play fathers on opposite sides of a hit-and-run: The Ruffalo character kills Phoenix's son and flees. As the grieving father seeks revenge, the tragedy wears on both men in unexpected ways. [Variety]

Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips and Lauren German are in final talks to play the three leads in Hostel 2. The sequel follows three women who, while studying abroad for the summer, learn the grim truth behind the Slovakian hostel and its international counterparts. [THR]

Jennifer Lopez has teamed up with the FX Channel to bring the half-hour comedy Echo Park to TV. "Echo Park," a comedic look at the world of yuppie, Latino and hipster cultures within Los Angeles' Echo Park neighborhood. Lopez will executive produce. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 15th!

Looks like the Storky brought us another Corky. - Anonymous 3:07pm

Runner-up:

I see Tom's still trying to convince us Suri is just four months old. - StoneyB


[Thx Priscilla]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Don Francisco

Birthday Sluts

Madonna (48)
Donovan Leitch (38)
Vanessa Carlton (26)
Emily Robison (34)
Steve Carell (43)
Timothy Hutton (46)
Laura Innes (47)
Angela Bassett (48)
James Cameron (52)
Kathie Lee Gifford (53)
Dee Hoty (54)
Lesley Ann Warren (60)
Frank Gifford (76)

A special Birfday shout out to Rae Rae!

Why Won't Tom Marry Katie?

Um...maybe because he only wants alien dick! Speaking of alien dick, I think Richie has one!

[Popbytes]

I Love Inetta the Moodsetta!

Inetta the Moodsetta was a part-time radio personality with WBLX in Mobile, AL. Homegirl couldn't take it anymore and straight-up quit on air. I have love for her, because I know what she means. How I would love to just get up and say "I Quit This Bitch!" Check out her MySpace, this woman is my hero.

Listen here

[Crunk + Disorderly]

Crack Affects Your Style Senses

What the hell kind of shoes are that?! Does Blohan think she's some kind of disco gladiator? Homegirl needs to lay off the snow, cause that shit is affecting her style choices! I've seen it happen before.

[Popsugar]

Hilary Duff Plays with Fire

Hilary Duff debuted her new single with video on TRL today. It's called Playing with Fire and the song makes me want to jump into fire. Let's just add this one to the pile of shitty singles of the summer (i.e. Janet's Call on Me, Chestica's Public Affair).

I think they developed a new filter to make her look semi-human.

[Thx Jon]

At Least She Doesn't Have Extensions

Okay, so Pink's new haircut isn't for everybody. But at least she doesn't have nasty fake hair in it like all those other Hollywood hos! She's showing it off while on vacay with husband, Carey Hart, in Los Cabos, Mexico. Oh and I bet you her dick is thicker than that water bottle.

[UsWeekly]

Note to Advertisers: Don't Use This Face to Sell Your Products

Why the hell would MAC Cosmetics hire Sandra Bernhard to sell their stuff? I mean...she can be funny sometimes but she doesn't have the mug to make anyone want to buy lipstick and shit. If anything she makes me want to run out and shoot myself and if I do that this how can I buy these products? I'd be dead!

In this new ad she mouths off on Republicans and women with thin lips. Notice she doesn't talk crap about horse mouthies with huge gaps in their teeth!

Watch it!

[ONTD] [Thx DobryDen]

Andy Dick Needs a Chew Toy

Upload videos at Bolt

In case you haven't heard..Andy Dick acted the fool at the taping of William Shatner's Comedy Central roast this past Sunday. This footage shows his ass licking up Carrie Fisher. She was a good sport and licked him back. I would've decked his ass.

It's pretty pathetic that he has to pull shit like this in order for people to write about his ass. And when is he going to finally come out?

Afternoon Crumbs

The Barkers divorce fiasco is spilling onto MySpace [TMZ]

Is Nicole Richie being saved or drowned? [Mollygood]

Rihanna is too confused to pose topless [Hollywood Tuna]

Nick Lachey forgets his roots [Popsugar]

Heath and Michelle salute the press [Just Jared]

Alicia Keys made her man wait for a full year until having sex, but you know she had sex with chicks [Concrete Loop]

Xtina wants to lick up Halle Berry [Egotastic!]

Tom Cruise is a stalker [Hollywood Rag]

KFed really wants his album released [IDLYITW]

Michael K & Toastee: Take Two

I had another hot conversation with Flavor of Love 2's Toastee regarding this past episode as well as a few other things. She also reveals the truth about that crazy ho, Wire!


MK: Spunkeey was given the boot and it looked like you had a lot to do with it! Did you?

Toastee: I hope I had a lot to do with it! She got in my face in the first episode and was getting on everyone's nerves. I'm sure Flav isn't that dumb that he couldn't realize how fake she was without me bringing it up, but if I put the last nail in the coffin then I'm very glad I did! Her waterworks performance at the end was hilarious.

MK: Wire was depicted as a straight up loon in this past episode. What was your opinion of her?

Toastee: She is a straight up loon. Something they didn't show on air was the fact that Wire was on a "spiritual fast" during the taping of the show. I understand not eating to look hot in a bathing suit like Nicole Richie, but there are spiritual reasons to fast? What the fuck? That just seems very shallow in my opinion. (she laughs)

MK: Do you guys have a lot of downtime and what do you do to make time go by? You don't have TV or internet right?

Toastee: No TV, no Internet, no books or magazines. Like we read anyway. No phone unless you wanted to use the house one which would be recorded. Thus we created the truth-or-dare game, which was really exciting for like 2 minutes.

MK: Buckwild's authenticity as being ghetto was called into question. I personally think the ho is being herself. What was your take?

Toastee: I don't know... she's funny and I had no problems with her so whether it's an act or the real deal I really don't care. I still kinda felt like I was the only white girl in the house. I'd be like "oh well, Buckwild doesn't really count".

MK: Where the hell did you get that red dress?!

Toastee: Out of Nibblz closet. Just kidding. It's my Sunday church outfit.

Don't forget to check out Toastee's website! Also, recently some pictures from the past have creeped up on her. Please, it's nothing major. I've done a lot worse for a lot less. She will talk about this later!!! Bitch needs her privacy!

KFed's a Top Dollar Sperm Donor

KFed better pray that Britney Spears is having twins or even triplets. In his pre-nuptial agreement, it states that he will receive extra money for each child he has with Brit. The couple are currently expecting their second child due in October.

A source said: "Before he got married, Kevin was sitting down with lawyers, discussing legal and financial issues.

"He was sitting sort of slumped over with a baseball cap over his eyes and a lawyer was talking about how he had to sign a pre-nup and Kevin looked sort of bummed out. "But then the lawyer explained that for every child the two of you have together, you would receive X amount of dollars. His eyes really lit up."

It sucks that Britney has to pay top dollar for such bunk spunk. She could've gotten some better stuff at a cheaper price I'm sure.

[LSE]

Maybe It is Real!

Yesterday, I posted some pics of Blohan showing off her breasts in a burlap sack. It sparked a debate on whether or not her stuff is real. Here's some more evidence from another angle. Shit, I don't know and I don't care! It kind of looks nice there. I really want to draw a face on it. A smiley face with its tongue sticking out. That would be dope.

[x17]

Is Posh Knocked Up?

David and Posh Beckham are said to be trying for another kid. This would be their fourth child. Posh is said to seriously want a baby girl since she's in a house full of dudes. She has been eating lots of fatty shit to try and gain weight. However, some people are saying that she's already knocked up! I say bullshit. I don't see a baby bump and you probably won't see one until she's like in her 8th month!

Posh still has the short haircut and is seen here with her hubby as they arrive in Nice, France yesterday.



[Thx Val]

Jordan Knight Should Take His Own Advice

Former New Kids on the Block member Jordan Knight thinks that Lance Bass' coming out is radical. He thinks that more boy band members should join Lance in embracing their sexuality.

"I think it's pretty cool. I'm looking forward to a boy band that comes out, and right off the box they say one of them is gay. I think that would be the best thing. "They'll get all the girls and all the gay guys, know what I mean? It'll be perfect!"

So...is this like reverse psychology? In speaking about others being gay does that take the spotlight away from his fagness? I mean, Jordan is probably more gay than Lance.

Remember that rumor about Jordan having to get his stomach pumped, because it was filled with so much sperm? Totally true.

[Contact Music]

Ashley Madison is My New Idol

Ashley Madison is best known as James Woods' 20-year-old arm candy. This got Ashley noticed and a role on the HBO series Entourage. The relationship quickly soured when James, 59, brought Ashley to his brother, Michael's funeral last month.

Reportedly, Ashley showed up in a hot mini-skirt and smoke through the entire ceremony. Scott Sandler, a friend of James who was at the funeral had this to say:

"At the funeral she was concerned about the amount of magazines she was in. Jimmy was on his knees with tears staining his shirt, and she was showing pictures of herself."

"She's the anti-Christ."

Shortly after that Ashley got dumped. But who cares?! She got what she wanted. I mean what do you expect from a 20-year-old? She was doing what the role called for. I'm sure James wanted her to be a hot piece each minute of the day. She did just that. Don't hate the player hate the game.

With that being said, ho is my new favorite. She's as cold as ice.

[NYDN]

Nicole Richie Eats Pizza!

Why is it such a big deal when we see Nicole Richie eating something? She's just gonna barf it up later. Just kidding! It's her metabolism y'all! She eats like a pig, blah, blah, blah. Anyway Nicole is enjoyed this delicious piece of pizza in Malibu yesterday afternoon. I don't care about the pizza, but those sunglasses are just atrocious. I really thought she kicked that addiction, but it looks like she hasn't.

In her defense, those sunglasses are probably miniature but just look gigantic on her midget head.

See more pics of this ho at x17

Technical Issues

For the past few days it seems that my site has been having a few technical issues. Several of you had emailed me wondering where I was, because no new posts were showing up on the site. Some of you are not having any problems. This is a blogger issue and other blogs on the blogspot system are having the same problems. If this happens try refreshing or going to Dlisted.com instead. If the problem persists try emptying your cookies. I apologize and trust me when I say that the issue will be resolved really soon. Just change your bookmarks to Dlisted.com instead of dlisted.blogspot.com.

Thank you for putting up with this hell. I'll buy you a cookie (for the ones you've lost) when I see you.

xoxoxoMichael K

Brangelina Dump Their Kids in Daycare

Maddox and Zahara have been forced to fraternize with the average kids as they have been put into daycare by their famous parents. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are so busy that they don't have the time to watch their own children. Brad is currently working on Ocean's 13 and Angie is working on the Mariane Pearl biopic. Brad has been seen dropping Maddox and Zahara off everyday at the daycare center the studio where he's shooting.

A source said: "The workers at the day-care center are very protective of Brad and won't let any of the other parents approach him or talk to him."

Oh it's like that?! Shiloh gets to stay at home while the adopted kids have to sit in a stank ass room eating celery and peanut butter. Hmm...how soon the tide turns. Wait is that the saying?

[Tittle Tattle Too]

You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!

Carmen Electra has been hired by Ritz Camera to give them a new younger and edgier appeal. WTF?! I don't even know what to say. What does this whore know about cameras? I mean getting Paris Hilton would make sense, because that ho will take a dump on camera.

Oh, Carmen! Are times really that tough? That ad looks like it was put together by a couple of 3-year-olds.

Let's Boycott The Simple Life

E! promised us that the season finale of The Simple Life on this past Sunday would feature a hot fight between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. We were given no such thing. The cable network had advertised for a couple of weeks now that the two (who were filmed separately during the entire season) would finally be in the same room together where they would have it out.

Instead, we got a little bit of back and forth between the girls but nothing major. Just when it looked like it was going to get good a big "TO BE CONTINUED" came on the screen. WTF?! This is the finale! This means we have to wait till next season to see what happened.

Screw that! I was an idiot for even falling for it. This isn't even a reality show! It's like a really bad soap opera. It makes Passions look like Gone with the Wind. I'm boycotting this shit. I say you join me! We will not be treated this way! Haven't we been put through enough with Paris' album being leaked and all. Jesus!

Prince Harry Likes Fake Tatas

The Sun has published a picture of Prince William and Prince Harry on a drunken night. Harry who is probably the most rebellious of the two went so far as to grope the implant of Natalie Pinkham. His brother is seen looking rather toasted and sipping a martini.

“He had been downing drink all night and was touchy-feely with everyone — especially Natalie. He had his hands all over her and was kissing her on the face. At one point he reached his arm around her and gave her a proper grope on her breast.

“She was very shocked but didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. I don’t suppose it’s every day an heir to the throne feels you up.”

Nat has been friends with the princes for a while now and thinks the grope was just a little friendly gesture. Harry was also seen making out with another girl later that night. He is currently involved and I do believe his girlfriend won't mind in the slightest. Hell, if I was dating a Prince you better believe I'd turn the other way! Just as long as I get to wear the crown around the house.

UPDATE - The Royal family has demanded that The Sun correct their story. They claim the picture is three years old. [Thx Christina]

[The Sun]

A Horse is a Horse

Hilary and Haylie Duff galloped into last night's Material Girls premiere in NYC. The sisters star in the flick which is about...well who cares because absolutely no one is going to see this. I used to think that Hilary was much cuter than Haylie, but standing next to her I'm not sure. It's a draw. I really think we should do a DNA test, because I think Sarah "My Little Pony" Parker is their birth mom.

The Dlisted Report

Bradley Cooper (Alias) will join Renee Zellweger in Case 39. The story centers on a social worker, to be played by Zellweger, who saves an abused girl from her parents but later discovers things are not as they seem. Cooper will play the love interest. Shooting starts September 5th in Vancouver. [Variety]

Rachel Weisz and Elizabeth Banks are in talks to join the cast of Definitely, Maybe. Written and directed by Adam Brooks, "Maybe" centers on a soon-to-be-divorced political consultant who has to answer some hard questions from his 11-year-old daughter as he explains his promiscuous past. Ryan Reynolds and Isla Fisher currently star. [THR]

Ace Ventura Jr. is currently in the works at Morgan Creek. The third film is a follow-up to 1995's Ace Ventura II. The latest pet project is expected to center on the eccentric detective's son, who steps into his father's shoes to take over the family business. [THR]

Heather beat out Virginia on last night's season finale of Hell's Kitchen. She has won the title of executive chef at Las Vegas' new Red Rock Resort. [Reality Blurred]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 14th!

She said I was the best pussy she'd ever had...but I felt like she was just blowin smoke up my ass - Chuck


[Thx Drake]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Magnus Scheving

[For Lory]

Birthday Sluts

Ben Affleck (34)
Natasha Henstridge (32)
Cris Judd (37)
Lady Miss Kier (37)
Debra Messing (38)
Debi Mazar (42)

Father Christmas is That You?

I always rag on the ladies for looking old and now it's time for the men to get a little bit of the action. Richard Gere isn't even 60 and bitch looks like Orville fucking Redenbaucher. He's seen here speaking at an AIDS conference in Toronto.

I'd really hate to see how the package is holding up.

This is Child Abuse!

I think Kate Hudson's first huge decision as a single parent should be to chop off the locks of her son's hair. Yes, that's a dude. Poor Ryder doesn't want the Rachel! I know how this kid feels, because when I was his age my mother refused to cut my hair and I have some curly tendrils. I looked like straight up Annie and tomorrow was a long ass away. Especially when bitches always called me "little miss" and "what a cute girl".

Kate, do this boy a favor and cut that shit off!

Farrah is Woven Tight!

Farrah Fawcett debuted a tight face and some wonky tits at William Shatner's roast for Comedy Central yesterday. It's evident she had some work done, but it's that not awful close up. Yes, she can hardly open her mouth but that's not such a bad thing. Her breasts however are another story. I hope she has a warranty on those suckers.

Afternoon Crumbs

Ryan Gosling is really stylish [Drunken Stepfather]

LaToya Jackson is not right [Crunk + Disorderly]

Sean Connery will beat a ho down [Hollywood Rag]

Justin Timberlake is in the House (of Blues) [Popsugar]

Natalie Portman's new hair is fug [Egotastic!]

Tracee Ellis Ross is so weird looking [Concrete Loop]

Jenna Jameson bows out of lingerie bowl [Hollywood Tuna]

Dare I say that Mischa Barton looks purty here? [Just Jared]

Jamie Foxx is a total diva [IDLYITW]

Xtina is a total muff diver [A Socialite's Life]

Angie wuvs her mommy [Cityrag]

Kate Hudson Splits from Husband!

I didn't see this one coming!

Actress Kate Hudson and her husband, Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson, are splitting, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

A rep for the You, Me and Dupree star confirms that the couple are separating after nearly six years of marriage.

Hudson, 27, and Robinson, 39, wed on New Year's Eve 2000 after dating for about a year. Their son, Ryder Russell, was born Jan. 7, 2004.

In September 2004, while shooting Skeleton Key in New Orleans, Hudson told PEOPLE about her relationship with Robinson since Ryder's birth: "We're sharing something so gigantic now. I think it's the best we've ever felt being together."

She's an annoying slag, so I'm sort of surprised he put up with her ass this long. But seriously, what is he going to do for cash?

Posh Has Miracle Hair!

Posh Beckham had $3000 extensions put back into her hair after going short for a couple of weeks. She showed off her new polyester mane while shopping in London yesterday. My question is, why can't she just grow it out? This looks as real as her breasts.

Hot outfit though.

UPDATE: Gosh hell it! I was duped again by Posh's weave! These pics are apparently hella old. I apologize! I am now at war with Posh's fake hair! [Thx to Rant]

Headline of the Day!

I mean...again, some jokes just write themselves!

Read the entire story here!

We Can't Be Seen Together!

Lance Bass and Reichen Lemkuhl were photographed at the same event but not together. They both attended the Adopt a School function on August 12th and posted separately with Jaime Pressley. I don't know, we know they are boinking!

Ewww, Reichen is so sleazy!



UPDATE - They were photographed together! Thanks reader Patricia for the pic!

Is That Thing Real?

Sucio! Blohan exposing an implant while getting into a car



[Splash News]

The "Who Cares?" News!!

Hugh Grant has made his smartest career move yet and has gotten engaged to billionaire Jenima Khan.

Diddy has announced that his girlfriend, Kim Porter, is preggers with his 3rd child. Third child that he knows of anyway.

Matt Lauer is totally copying Diddy and is expecting his third child.

Not surprisingly, Jessica Simpson burns the ears of many a gay!

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Cut-out hooker dress...bare feet...is Kimbo Stewart finally taking our advice and skipping show business for a career in street walking? Some jokes tell themselves and this is one of them.

[Splash News]

Happy Firecrotch Day!

The fued between Brandon Davis, Lindsay Blohan and Parasite Hilton added a new member. Scott Storch who is a superstar music producer has been added to the cast of losers who have a problem with Blohan. On Friday night, Brandon, Parasite and Scott found themselves at In-N-Out at 2am where they again brought up Firecrotch.

a photographer heard someone in the party of four use the word "firecrotch." You'll recall the TMZ video in which Brandon Davis went on a now-infamous rant against Lindsay Lohan, peppering his comments by calling her a "firecrotch."

As they left, a photographer heard the reference and asked "What did you say about firecrotch?" Storch replied "We're actually celebrating firecrotch day." As Storch and Paris got in the vehicle which sported bright red interior (Lindsay is famous for her red hair), he added "We even have firecrotch interior for the occasion."

A photographer then asked "Did you get the interior done for firecrotch?" Storch promptly responded "Yes we did, in special honor of her freckled puss." Paris, who smiled during the entire exchange, could not contain her giggles with Storch's parting shot.

Are these people 8-years-old? It was funny the first time, but it's just pathetic the second time. They are like Beavis and Butthead. They say the same phrase over and over again and laugh about it like a bunch of retards. But now I really want me some In-N-Out.

[TMZ]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....

Which handsome prime-time drama star canceled a slew of interviews with British women's mags on a recent publicity tour because they wouldn't agree not to ask about his home life, which includes a boyfriend?

Wentworth Miller

Which marquee actor/comedian is known in the industry as a serial stealer of younger comics' material? His manager has to regularly send out checks to head off litigation.

Dane Cook

This oddball couple seemed like a mismatch from the get-go! Was it a rebound romance? Everyone waited for this unexpected pair to come to their senses. They have little in common - she's a beauty and he's no looker. Her last man was a sexy stud. But the offbeat pair is still together and we know why. They do have something in common: VICODIN! They're both hooked on the pills and love to get looped together. What's more, it seems to keep them both nice and thin.

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy

[NY Daily News] [Janet Charlton]

Dancing with the Has Beens!!!

Why won't Dancing with the Stars 3 just go away?! I mean I'm still going to watch this mess, but seriously. Casting for this shit is just getting more and more desparate. This morning the cast was announced:

(clockwise from top left)

Shanna Moakler (Star of The Barkers)
Jerry Springer (Talk show host)
Vivica Fox (Grade A mess)
Emmitt Smith (football player)
Willa Ford (fallen pop star)
Joey Lawrence (Woah! Star of Blossom)
Tucker Carlson (news bitch)
Sara Evans (country singer)
Harry Hamlin (actor)

not pictured:
Monique Coleman (star of High School Musical)

Lisa Rinna who competed last year will co-host. The new season is set to debut September 12th on ABC.

Ok, I lied...this is going to be hot. I can't wait to see far Vivica will pull her face to get ready for this.

This is Your Local Trash Man!

George O'Dowd aka Boy George began his community service early this morning in NYC. Boy is serving 5 days after pleading guilty in March to falsely reporting a burglary at his New York apartment. Police found coke instead.

His trash duty started with a hitch though. Almost immediately photographers swooped around the singer and bitch didn't like it!

"You think you're better than me?" he yelled. "Go home. Let me do my community service."

"This is supposed to be making me humble. Let me do this," he said. "I just want to do my job."

Spoken like a true crazy! It's ironic that he's picking up trash, because a lot of his outfits belong in the dumpster.

This is really hot though. I want to like track him down and throw trash on the ground and make him pick it up.

[Yahoo]

The TomKat PR Machine Goes Into High Gear

Tom Cruise in lady sunglasses talking with Walter Payton on August 9th

There were two TomKat stories this weekend. The first being that Suri Cruise was "spotted" at a children's birthday party this weekend. The party was held at a local skating rink. There aren't any pictures of the event which is pretty shady. Who doesn't bring a camera to a children's birthday party? Unless Tom had his security confiscate every single cell phone and cam in the venue. Which I doubt. Suri Cruise is totally the next Lochness monster and Big Foot.

The other story spins the tale of Tom and Kate and how big their hearts are.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes helped comfort a pair of shaken accident victims Saturday night, PEOPLE has learned.

A rep for the couple confirms that Cruise, 44, and Holmes, 27, were on their way home from the airport after a trip to Salt Lake City, Utah, for an exhibition soccer game (their friend David Beckham and his team, Real Madrid, beat Real Salt Lake 2-0), when they saw a couple on L.A.'s 101 Freeway who had apparently just been in a car accident.

The engaged pair and parents to 4-month-old daughter Suri checked to make sure the passengers, Jon Henningsen and his wife, were not seriously injured, then waited with them until the police and fire department arrived on the scene.

Oh and TomKat switched their toy baby with the couple's real baby.

[People]

The Today Show Boycott

Stephen Huvane is publicist to stars like Fishsticks Paltrow, Demi Moore, Kiki Dunst and more importantly Jennifer Aniston. He has apparently told the producers of The Today Show that he is boycotting their show and not allowing any of his clients to appear. Why? He is fighting mad that they had Us Weekly EIC, Janice Min, on the show selling a story that Vince Vaughn proposed to Jennifer in Mexico. Stephen has branded the story a total falsity.

It's also expected Huvane will hand his clients over to dreaded ABC competitor "Good Morning America." His entire firm, powerful PMKHBH, may follow suit, which would mean a serious scarcity of stars on "Today."

"The timing couldn't be worse," an insider says. "September is when the ratings war traditionally heats up, and Huvane's clients have some big movies coming out."

"GMA" producers are said to be giggling with glee. One staffer even called Huvane to make sure he saw the Curry-Min chitchat. "Today" spokeswoman Lauren Kapp says she wasn't aware of any plans to withhold talent, but, "There's no way. [Huvane] cannot afford to put his clients on a competitor that gets considerably less viewers."

"GMA" rep Bridgette Maney bristles: "We've launched more than half of this year's top-10 albums and movies, and 'GMA' continues to be the place where the biggest celebrities visit."

Meanwhile, Min stands by her cover story, which screams, "Vince Proposes! A nervous Vaughn surprises Jen with a ring bigger than Brad's." She's tweaking Huvane by publishing a list of celeb stories he's lied about to reporters in the past. Huvane did not respond to our e-mails.

Oh please. I'm so sick of these stars whining. It's publicity, Jesus! And if the story is false than who cares. He should suck this shit up while it lasts, because Jennifer's career is headed straight for a Vh1 reality show.

[Page Six]

Flavor of Love 2: Is the Girl Ghetto?

The second episode in the second series opened with the house still not getting over Somethin' laying a big doo doo in the Grand foyer of Foofy Foofy's mansion. Spunkeey felt that it was karma, because earlier that evening Somethin' went after her. Oh how I wish Somethin' let the prairie doll roll onto Spunkeey. Now that would be sweet revenge.

Um...shouldn't they get those three plates of fried chicken away from her?




Continue reading "Is the Girl Ghetto?"




I feel bad that Snoopy has to be that close to this spiteful bitch! You know he's trying desperately to walk off that shirt.



The girls were given their next challenge. They were given a menu of several foods and they each had to pick one to serve to Foofy. And of course a war had to erupt and bitches fought over the "cous cous" and "tenderloin." The other problem was that none of the bitches knew what the hell that food was. Um....I think the only food they know is KFC and White Castle and I'm being serious!

After Like Dat took control everything was settled and they got into the pimp van.



The van was of course equipped with a stripper pole. I think the pole was compromised when Somethin' tried to get up in there. Suddenly the bus became a convertible!



Um...AGAIN LADIES! Did you not get Hottie's memo about this being Flavor of Love NOT Flavor of the Boardroom. I mean..Like Dat is just there to get some pussy not some Foofy.



My girl Toastee showed all those hos how it's really done. She did say she wasn't wearing underwear, like we didn't know. Bitch your dress is falling a part, Stevie Wonder can see you aren't wearing undies. Damn! Damn, where did you get that dress from anyway?! That shit is even too trashy for Fredrick's!



Has anyone noticed the white dick in the background? I'm surprised one of these hos hasn't tried to fuck it.


Buckeey had the NERVE to call Toastee either "a whore or a stripper." I'll have you know that this bitch is BOTH! Yes, she's that talented!



This girl has major skills. I still can't get over that dress! Bet we're going to see Mimi in this like next week. Trust me.



Once they arrived at the restaurant, the games began. Foofy was blindfolded and spent a few minutes at each table. Buckwild showed that she's a squirter. Her "ghettoness" had Like Dat suspicious. Because the "ghetto" she is from doesn't have many white girls acting like that. The thing is I don't think this bitch is ghetto, I just think she's straight up country! I mean I know this ho has a toilet as a planter in her backyard.



Nibblz skipped her dish and instead fed Foofy some of her. And to be quite honest, that is a meal. I'm thinking rotted sardines and soft shell crab. Shit, why couldn't there be a whore by my side to cover my eyes. I need to get me a whore bad. They look out for you!



Wire decided to serenade Foofy with song and let's just say I can't believe the mirrors behind her are still intact. I think the peroxide has gone into her brains. More on this whack job later.



So...Like Dat, Tiger and Buckwild all won an additional date with Foofy, because he was sooo impressed with them.

Back in the hoochie bus....Payshintz got drunk and when crazy. Bitch lived in like China and went on and on how she can get a Chinaman to take care of her.
"They say once you get black you won't go back and I don't know, but I'll get Asian and won't go back."

WTF?! This ho has lived in China too long, because she can't speak English right!



So...Foofy took the 3 winning girls to take a "gonzolias" ride like in the canals of Hermosa Beach I guess. How effin romantic. And what the hell is a gonzolia? Does that somehow involve Gonzo? I was wondering where he went.



Like Dat got right to it, because ho needs to get close to him so he can't get a full look at her. I'm sorry, but bitch is straight up homely. You know the fishes in the canals were dying around them. Like Dat also needs to get close to Foofy so she can make believe he's Furonda from America's Next Top Model, cause you know the two look alike.



Tiger is a fake ho. You know this chick is just trying to get herself noticed. She's a Hottie, but without the elegant wardrobe and Ivy league education. When Foofy tried to get a kiss from her, bitch straight up turned away talking about how she's "not that kind of girl". Um....sweetie ONLY those kind of girls go on Flavor of Love. I'm sure it's in your contract, you need to read up on it. Dumb whore.



While Tiger showed she was a fake ho in front of Foofy, Like Dat and Buckwild talked about the ghetto. Buckwild admitted she was from Rancho Cucamonga, which is not the ghetto and trust me I've been there. That shit is like a diamond in the desert. Like Dat is starting to get really suspicious. She personally doesn't think Buckwild grew up in the ghetto. I mean..there's one way to settle this...pop a car tire and if bitch goes running into the bushes you know she's from the ghetto.

And what does Like Dat know about the ghetto?! She's not even wearing a WEAVE! And she calls herself ghetto. Pff!



While the 3 hos enjoyed their gonzolia rides....the rest of the girls practiced the art of "ass popping". This trained skill comes in very handy in the world of Vh1 reality shows.



Uh oh...I'm glad that isn't Somethin or else there would be a little doody bubble up in there. That white girl is ready for the clean-up.



Toastee I know your vagina needs some action, but that's nasty! Take that shit in the restroom like a lady or get Nibblz to help you out. Can you squirt into your own mouth?



While the girls had some fun that dumb bitch Spunkeey went on about how she's a lady and doesn't conduct herself that way. Are you fucking retarded?! You are on FLAVOR OF LOVE not PBS! I really want that penis in the plant to attack that frigid bitch! She needs a good pounding more than I need a good ass whoopin'!



Speaking of Spunkeey...our good friend Toastee spilled the beans on that bitch to Foofy. Right before elimination, Toastee told him that Spunkeey is a fake ho and is trying to get on all these reality shows and just wants to be on TV. Toastee mentioned that Spunkeey tried out for The Real World.

Um...which Real World? The Real World: Mesopotamia? Because you know that bitch was too old to get on any of the other ones.

When Spunkeey got her time to be fake with Foofy, she laid it all on the line.

"You're vivrant...more vivar than a vibrator...just vivrant!"

BITCH! What the hell is "vivrant"?! Ok, I just looked this up in the urban dictionary. You know it means "vibrant" in lazy talk.



While that bitch Buckeey had her alone time with Foofy, a woman (Wire) escaped from the mental hospital. This chick just stood there like a loon. Foofy basically told her to get the fuck out and she went inside and started playing the piano really loud. I'd be afraid of this girl. She'd be likely to boil up your rabbit.



Jigga what?!?



When Wire finally got her time she marveled at how straight her hair was. I mean do they serve pot-brownies on the Kraft service table, because chick was on a different planet.

"OMG I got my hair cut and flat ironed. Wow it feels like silk! How you ever felt this? Feel it, it feels like silk!"

She later told us that her time with Foofy brought out so many emotions.

"My one-on-one time with Flav was very powerful."

Spoken like a true acid freak! I say check under her tongue for tablets.



And there's Tiger! Remember how she didn't want to kiss Foofy on the gonzolia ride? Well, she sucked on his nasty-ass lips right before elimination. I'm telling you.....any girl of average intelligence and looks that wants to get with Foofy is doing it, because she wants her own reality show!



Oh and we're not done with Wire! Later, she told the girls that she really wanted to have Foofy's babies. Why you ask?

"I do want dark babies!"

I mean...you just can't write shit like that. I really believe this ho sucked all the freon out of the air conditioning unit that day. She was on planet NUTS!



Buckwild did have a valid reason on why Wire wanted to have babies with a black man.
"That's probably cause if she has a kid with a white person it's going to be see through"

I love this girl more and more everyday.



Elimination went as planned. In the end it was down to Tiger, Wire, Somethin and Spunkeey. Foofy felt that Tiger might be playing him, Wire is just plain wacko, Spunkeey is in the fake club with Tiger and he still can't get over the fact that Somethin went number two on his faux marble.



He somehow pulled it together and kept Somethin. Maybe her shit turned out to be some potent shit that cleaned 4-year-old stains off the marble. That's the only thing I can think of. Because that woman is one nasty bitch.



And poor Deelishis wasn't even in the house for a week and she's already got some flesh eating STD from being with all those whores.



Actually, did I just call he a she?



In the end he dropped Wire and Spunkeey. This was the best decision, because Wire would've ended up freaking out and murdering everyone in the house...which now that I think about it...probably isn't such a bad idea. Spunkeey you are ugly and you aren't a good actress! Somethin wasn't surprised that she stayed and made a very valid point:

"I'm glad...it's like tell me what woman can walk into his house and go poo. How many bitches can do something like that and stay?"

Yes Somethin...this means you are a truly special person with a beautiful heart.

The Dlisted Report

Zooey Deschanel will play Janis Joplin a new biopic on the late singer. Shooting will start this November in Philadelphia. [Production Weekly]

Talladega Nights was the #1 movie for the second week in a row with $23 million. narrowly missed the top spot with just $21 million and second place. Step UpWorld Trade Center didn't fare so well and brought in only $19 million to come in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

Steve Carrell announced that he is making the feature film version of Get Smart his main priority. Filming is expected to begin as early as this March. Peter Segal (The Longest Yard) directs the film for a 2008 release. The casting of 99 has not been announced. [Dark Horizons]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 11th!

In order to save himself from bankruptcy, Michael Jackson makes his own brand of frozen novelty treats called Jesus Ice. - Geoff

Runner-ups:

On the job training in Thailand. - thebetsy

Next folks, she'll perform cunnilungus on a fortune cookie! - NoAnjl



[Thx Boo]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Aubrey O'Day

Birthday Sluts

Halle Berry (40)
Mila Kunis (23)
Ana Matronic (32)
Magic Johnson (47)
Sarah Brightman (46)
Marcia Gay Harden (47)
Jackee Harry (50)
James Horner (53)
Danielle Steel (59)
Steve Martin (61)

A Total Wet Cat

Nicole Richie had fun in the sun despite looking like a wet cat. Who cares, she's skinny and she doesn't like to eat...there's nothing wrong with that! But seriously she should buy some shoes that fit her ass. I know they don't make her sizes in real stores, but the Barbie section at FAO Schwartz has some hot shoes.

[x17]

Hot Slut of the Week: Cookie Monster

Age: 37
Birthday: 1969
Birth Name: Cookie Monster

Original Date of HSL of the Day: August 12, 2006

Claim to Fame: A Jim Henson creation and star of Sesame Street.

Where is he now? Still being hot on Sesame Street.

Why is he HSL of the Week? Who doesn't love this bitch?

Miss Jones is No Joke!

Christina Milian called into NYC's Hot 97 show with Miss Jones and let's just say the interview didn't go according to plan. Christina was on to talk about her new movie Pulse and Miss Jones wanted to talk about the reasons why Christina was dumped by Def Jam Records. Christina really didn't want to talk about it and honestly was being a good sport and Miss Jones straight up hung up on her!

Listen here!

[Concrete Loop]

Star Jones is No Longer Paying Less

Payless Shoes has announced that Star Jones will be their last spokesperson. They are no longer working with the former The View co-host and have no plans to replace her. The relationship ended on a bad note. Payless felt that Star's current image no longer fit with the company's motto.

Star is still unemployed and looking for a gig.

[Page Six]

House Huntin' in SB Y'all!

Britney, SPF and Manny went house hunting in Santa Barbara yesterday. Britney is joining celebs like Brad Pitt and Angelina that are flocking to SB. Britney is looking good. I can't make fun of her anymore, it's like kicking a dog when she's down. Manny however is no longer hot.

[x17]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Priscilla Barnes

Birthday Sluts

Moritz Bleibtreu (35)
Danny Bonaduce (47)
John Slattery (43)
Alma Cuervo (55)
Don Ho (76)
Fidel Castro (80)