Dlisted: 08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Say Something Nice

Janice Dickinson Without Make-up: Um...well...that's very creative of her to have her own face on that cute t-shirt she's wearing!

Chrissy Amphlett Has Crazy Face

Chrissy Amphlett is the lead singer of the Australian group The Divinyls that had a huge hit in the 90s with I Touch Myself. Above is a vide of Chrissy performing on Australian TV. Homegirl still sounds hot, but she has crack face! Damn, this ho is scary. But Scary hot. Below is the original video of the song. My how times have changed.

When Were They Hotter?

[Photo: People]

What the Hell is Wrong With These People?!

Jackass Number 2
hits theaters on September 22nd and here's a couple of stills from the flick. It's Bam getting branded by a cowboy. WHY?!


That Dude Really Wants Prince William

Prince William took part in the Sovereign's Parade yesterday in Great Britian. That dude on his left really wants to hit it. I bet you they do circle jerks in the bunks. Prince William is hot and all, but then I remember that underneath that hat he's totally balding.

A PT Cruiser!

This is an old clip from The Soup where EXTRA interviews Heather Mills McCartney's publicist and she's disgusted by the fact that she drives a PT Cruiser and not some fancy luxury car like she should be driving. This shit is a classic.

It's a slow news day people!

Posh Needs to Get a Job

In case you haven't heard, David Beckham was left off the England football squad. The National team was set to battle Greece next week and a new manager left the fashion icon off the team. Is this the end of Becks England career? Probably not.

Mr. McClaren (the new manager) issued this statement:

"I spoke with David last Monday and notified him of my decision and said I was planning for the future, to change things and go in a different direction, and that David wasn't included in that. I have great respect for David, he was a fantastic captain, a great player and still is. He took the news well. He was disappointed but I got the reaction I wanted. That was for him to continue to fight for a place. I will never close the door. That was the end of the conversation."

Who cares?! Doesn't he have Madrid anyway and if not Posh can get back to work. Better yet, put that ho on a budget!


JesSICKA Continues to Copy

JesSicka Simpson in a promo picture for her new album and JLo like 2 years ago! Actually, I can't stand both these snatches.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Cookie Monster

Birthday Sluts

Peter Krause (41)
Dominique Swain (26)
Casey Affleck (31)
Pete Sampras (35)
Rebecca Gayheart (35)
Bruce Greenwood (50)
Dana Ivey (64)
George Hamilton (67)

A Special Birfday greeting to my hot (yet dumb) chihuahua who turns 4 today! Old bitch! Happy Birfdays Elvie!

Friday, August 11, 2006

The Old 52's

Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson performed in Brooklyn last night. My first thought was, damn they look old. But they are old, so that makes sense right? Kate is still one hot bitch and even thought they have traded their fringe and glitter for Depends and Bengay I still love them.

Jodie, Which Finger Do You Use On Your Girlfriend?

Jodie Foster showing us the finger and her commitment ring in NYC's West Village on August 9th

Move Over Lewis!

There's a new bitch on the scene! Lewis the cat may have some competition and it comes in the body of squirrel. Residents are fighting mad over a bitchy squirrel in Winter Park, FL's Central Park. Just this month, seven people were attacked.

A 3-year-old boy was bitten by the animal several times and has a two-inch wound on his leg, according to the report. Another child was reportedly bitten on his calf and a man sitting on a park bench was attacked by the squirrel. He suffered a bite and scratches on his arm. The attacks took place between August 1 and August 4.

Some people now say the attacking animal should have been captured sooner. One citizen said he captured the squirrel under a bucket after it attacked his friend. He said he released the squirrel when county animal-services workers failed to arrive after two hours. City employees captured the animal this week. Winter Park received notice from the Florida Department of Health Epidemiology stating that the results on the squirrel were negative for rabies.

He doesn't have a name yet, but I'm calling him Hot Ho or H.H. for short. Unfortunately, Hot Ho is probably a dead ho right now. I am severely obsessed with these angry animals and need to start some kind of shelter for them and then train them to deliver serious beat downs to my enemies.

[Local6] [Thx Jennifer]

Afternoon Crumbs

Caprice for Governor! [A Socialite's Life]

My darling Gwen Stefani is turning into a fashion victim [Just Jared]

I like Lucy Pinder, whoever she is [Hollywood Tuna]

Paris Hilton's wannabe gets a Playboy spread [OMG Blog]

KFed wants to confirm his white trashness [Hollywood Rag]

Eva Mendes sure likes her condoms [The Bastardly]

If Keira Knightley was a Lautrec painting [Gallery of the Absurd]

Mel Gibson just can't catch a break [IDLYITW]

Don't worry Kristen Bell is going to live [Egotastic!]

Justin Timberlake knows everything [Popsugar]

Jay-Z knows a lot about water [Mollygood]

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the smile. Congrats to tobelaughing2 for getting it right first!

Lou Diamond Phillips Will Beat Your Ass

TMZ is reporting that Lou Diamond Phillips was arrested this morning for allegedly giving the beating of a lifetime to his girlfriend. The coppers were called to his Northridge home at 2am where they found the couple having words. Lou apparently hit her ass doing the argument and he was taken into custody. He is currently being held on $50,000 bail.

That sucks, cause I kind of had a crush on him. We would never make a good pair, because I have a mouth of garbage and will probably send him into a beatdown frenzy on my ass.

Seriously, I hope his ass is getting a major beating while in the slammer. Dumb mofo.

Jordan's Breasts are Gigantic!

Jordan just signed a multi-million dollar deal with Panache to be the "chest" of their new range of bras for big-chested women. She has started by modeling a line based on sweets. She was extremely surprised when she was professionally measured by the label. Jordan has been wearing a size 32DD this entire time, but she's actually a size 30G!

She said: “I know I’ve got big boobs but I never realised they were THAT big. It just shows you how a good-fitting bra makes all the difference — and I didn’t even need to get another boob job!

“Now I’ve got support and I look and feel great.”

That's really small, I think she should go bigger! Damn, she is so hot. Here's some photos below of a recent photo shoot which proves that she's the most gorgeous woman in the World! I'd ask her to be the mother of my child, but I don't want it to come out all fat and slow and shit. Ugh, I just keep digging my own grave. I don't blame her for hating my ass!

[The Sun]

Celebrities Are Really Special

Jennifer Garner is too boring to do drugs and booze, so when she fainted on the set of her new movie it really was because she was overheated. The actress was filming scenes for The Kingdom in 110-degree weather in Phoenix. Ben Affleck dropped everything he was doing to be with his wife.

Seriously, what is wrong with these hos?! I mean when you become a celebrity do you just suddenly become all fragile? Obviously, it's just them because you never hear of crew members or the director passing out.

This is probably the most exciting that has ever happened to Garner.


Chestica is No Kate Moss

Look familiar? On the right is a cheap ad for Jessica Simpson's new shoe line and on the left is a Gucci ad starring Kate Moss back in 2003. While Kate Moss looks like a hot ho, Ches's looks like an advertisement for a late night phone chatline for TRANNIES!

[Thx Mikee]

WTF is Up with Val Kilmer's Lips?!

Val has a vag on his face! What did he do to his lips? They look sick! He should've spent the money on having the fat in his belly sucked out. His fat belly will come in handy while he surfs though. It'll be nice cushion to lay on. Seriously though, bitch is fug!

[Splash News]

Dina Lohan is "The White Oprah"

Dina Lohan is famous, because her daughter, Linday Lohan, is famous. That reason and that reason alone. If her daughter wasn't a big star, she would probably be selling her wares at a truck stop. She feels that because her daughter has success, she should also. Ugh, typical stage mom trash. She's currently trying to shop around a talk show and believes she's "the white Oprah", because her friends are always coming to her with their issues.

Dina said: "I love to talk." "I have a talk show in the works. I would host it and co-produce it. It's a good heartwarming show. It's nothing trashy. We're not going to follow dates to bars and see what happens, or anything like that. But it's a girl-empowered, woman show. I would only do something that would help other people, because that's just who I am and how I was raised. I think the public would listen to me before someone who doesn't live it - you need someone who lives it."

What is wrong with these people?! Dina Lohan pretends to care about her daughter, but she only cares about herself. She talks about Lindsay, because it keeps her in the press. If she really cared, she'd try to get her daughter off the drugs. Dina is a piece of trash and always will be. Even the residue on her tampon doesn't have 1/10th of Oprah's talent.


Kanye West is Engaged!

Sorry ladies and fags...Kanye West is off the market. Oh shucks! I really wanted to land a man who constantly talked about how amazing he was and how he's so successful and shit.

Anyway, People has learned that Kanye proposed to his girlfriend, Alexis, overseas and she of course accepted. Alexis' last name and occupation are unknown, but the pair have apparently been an item for almost 3 years now.

I'm thinking her last name is Carrington and she's the owner of the biggest company in Denver.

The "Who Cares?" News

Courtney Coxsucker admits she's in therapy. Any reason to keep her off TV works for me.

Elle Macpherson and Heidi Klum are arguing over who has the hotter body or something like that. They obviously can't argue about brains, so I guess this makes sense.

Carmen Electra files for divorce from Dave Navarro. Take a good look, because this is the last time you'll see these two has-beens for a while.

Blohan wants to run a tattoo shop. They better clean those needles with battery acid.

Paris Hilton's Goat to Be Buried Next to Marilyn Monroe

Paris Hilton can't keep her legs closed on August 9th

Parasite Hilton proved once again that she is a waste of human flesh. Reportedly she purchased the plot next to Marilyn Monroe to bury her goat, Billy Hilton. She also booked a gospel choir to perform at his funeral.

A source said: "It's absolutely disgusting. Paris booked the plot for a 'Billy Hilton'. Everybody was very understanding because they presumed it was one of her relatives.

"But it has transpired that it's just an old goat. Normal people are content to bury their pets in the garden and be done with it. But not Paris. This is one of the most prestigious cemeteries in the world, it's not for animals. "

In addition to Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Truman Capote are also buried at Hollywood's Pierce Bros. Westwood Village Memorial Park.

When I first read the headline, I got excited because I thought that ho was going to get buried. I only assumed that the Hollywood crowd nicknamed her vagina "the goat" because it devours anything in sight.

[LSE] [Photos: x17]

Nobody Puts Angie in a Corner

Brad Pitt wanted to show Angelina Jolie who wore the pants in the family and told her that she needed to stay home and play mom while he works on Ocean's 13. Angie is a smart bitch and knows it's her ass that wears the pants and Brad wears some white, lacy panties!

Angie didn't like this new part of Brad, so she packed up her crew and checked in a hotel.

Brad doesn't know what to do and is moping on the set and Angie refuses to come back.

Hells yes! Brad needs to know his place! Ho is only good for two things, looking purty and giving up the dick!

[Tittle Tattle]

McConagay Wants a Rachel

In the "yeah right" rumor of the day, Matthew McConagay apparently called up Jennifer Aniston to ask her out on a date. Matthew has been smitten with her for a while and decided now what probably a good time to ask Brad Pitt's ex out.

"When Matthew called, Jen told him she was flattered, but she didn't think it would be right to go out with Matt while she's dating Vince."

Yeah I'm really going to believe that shit. Matthew probably just called her up, because he's trying to get his Rachel Green impersonation down and needs some tips. He's a total girl.

[Female First]

An Ugly Hat to Match Her Ugly Face

Eva LongWHORIA at Hyde in Los Angeles on August 10th

More photos of Eva at x17

Michael K on MySpace

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