Let's Hope There's Cover Girl on That List

Julia Roberts doesn't give a fuck what people think. She goes outside looking like a damn mess, but who cares? She's worth like a gazillion dollars. On that note, I hope she's using some of that money to buy some damned concealer at least! I'm all for being comfortable, but homegirl looks like she's about to teach kindergarten.

[x17]

Zayra Alvarez is Really Hot

Rock Star: Supernova is a pretty shitty show, but Zayra Alvarez makes it worth it. This is one hot bitch if I've ever seen one. She gives Bai Ling a run for her money in the singing department, but she can put on a show. And don't get me started on the outfits. Legendary. Unfortunately, the World isn't ready for her talents. She's always in the bottom 3.

Here is she butchering the hell out of 867-5309 Jenny, but looking mighty hot. If you watch this show, please vote for her! I'll owe you one.

Is MK Olsen Homeless?

MK at Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles on August 2, 2006






[Photos: x17]

Hot Slut of the Month: CoCo

Ice-T's main ho, CoCo, secured over 30% of your votes to be the hottest bitch on Dlisted for July. Her wit, talent, beauty, smarts and fashion sense has taken her far.

Thanks for voting y'all!

The Gayest Tshirts on the Gayest Family

These are t-shirts that Apple made and sold in the 80s. Seriously, this is high fashion. I think Mr. Lagerfeld is sketching his heart out with the inspiration he's receiving from this photo.

I'm sorry, it's a slow day!

[Scary Ideas] via [Goldenfiddle]

Which Couple is More Exciting?

Dominic & Evangeline or Chicken & Waffles?

The Must-See Event of the Decade!

This is seriously going to be the hottest show in the history of hot shows. Joan Collins and Linda Evans will reunite to star in Legends! which will begin their National tour on September 12, 2006 in Toronto. They will play 14 dates before landing on Broadway or London. According to a press release, Legends! "centers on two somewhat desperate and waning movie stars named Sylvia (Collins) and Leatrice (Evans). Both actresses are courted by an unscrupulous young producer to star together in a Broadway show, despite the fact that they have hated each other for decades. He convinces both ladies to go along by misleading them into believing that they will be starring in the show with Paul Newman. This hilarious set-up provides the background for the full-blown comic confrontation between these two divas and the surprising and hilarious resolution."

The show will play the following dates:

Sept. 12-Oct. 22 in Toronto at the Royal Alexandra Theatre
Oct. 24-Nov. 5 in Philadelphia at The Forrest Theatre
Nov. 7-12 in Hartford at the Bushnell
Nov. 14-19 in East Lansing at the Wharton Center
Nov. 21-Dec. 3 in Washington, D.C. at the National Theatre
Dec. 5-10 in Kansas City at the Lyric Theatre
Jan. 9-14, 2007 in San Diego at the Civic Center
Jan. 16-28 in Los Angeles at the Wadsworth
Feb. 20-March 4 in Chicago at The LaSalle
March 20-April 1 in Cleveland at the Palace Theatre
April 10-15 in Fayetteville at the Walton Arts Center
April 24-29 in Ft. Myers at the Barbara Mann PAC
May 1-6 in Raleigh at the BTI Center
May 8-13 in New Haven at the Shubert Theatre

I seriously am into this. It's either going to be amazing or a serious shipwreck. I can totally picture Joan Collins completely messing up her lines and flipping out! However, I expect the glamour factor to be in full force.

Leo DiCaprio & Cat Deeley?

Is Leonardo DiCaprio dating So You Think You Can Dance? host, Cat Deeley? The pair have been seen out on a few dates in Los Angeles. Just last week, Leo was seen with his ex-girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen.

The pair met at a Beverly Hills restaurant when Leo overheard Cat talking about the possibility of posing nude. He was charmed by her accent and her fresh-face.

A source said: "Leo was attracted by Cat's fresh-faced looks and English accent.

"She looks very different from an identikit Los Angeles girl"

[Female First]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Gavin MacLeod

Birthday Sluts

Loni Anderson (61)
Johnathan Silverman (40)
Tawny Kitaen (45)
Pat Smear (41)
Faith Prince (49)
Maureen McCormick (50)
Erika Slezak (60)

Why Do I Love Danity Kane?!

Here is the debut video of Diddy's manufactured girl group, Danity Kane. I don't know why it is I love them so much? Maybe, it's Aubrey. Their group name has to be the worst ever.

[Thanks Jon]

Tommy Lee Quote of the Day!

"I get plane-ons, cab-ons, limoons... My dick is hard all the time. I'm like, 'Is that OK? Is there something wrong with me?' I don't think that's normal."

Afternoon Crumbs

Pamela Anderson is such a demure bride [Gays of Our Lives]

Stephanie Tanner asks you to strip [BWE]

Britney gets help from Charlie Sheen for her clothing line [Celebrity Nation]

Asshole Simpson shows us her cotton [Egotastic!]

There's the boob belt again [Hollywood Tuna]

A tranny or Mimi? [Popsugar]

Everyone is mad at Vadge [A Socialite's Life]

Damn, Mandy Moore is getting chunky [Just Jared]

This is why I love Britney Spears [IDLYITW]

Kate Moss buys a stuffed titty [Hollywood Rag]

Oh how I miss Valerie Cherish [Popbytes]

I need to see Phony Braxton's Vegas shipwreck [Concrete Loop]

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see the ho behind the mouth. Congrats to Darknessa for being the first to get it right.

What Happened to the Supermodels?!

Naomi Campbell

Did W Magazine have no budget for this photoshoot on fashion's biggest supermodels of the past? The lighting is awful and they seriously could've used a team of photoshop people. Naomi is straight-up fright night! She's a dude in a cheap wig. Christie Brinkley looks like she's had way too many dolls. I just can't comment.

Click here to see more horrific madness


Cindy Crawford


Christie Brinkley


Rachel Hunter

Blohan's New Dude

Who knows who this guy is? It could be someone she shagged that night or a new gay. Anyway, Blohan showed him off at the X Games party last night. She looks better, but still glazed over. I think she needs to stay in and make it a Blockbuster night every now and again.

Update - A Dlisted reader wrote this to me:

I was at the X games party at Avalon last night. I happened to be in the bathroom with Lindsay and parked myself into the stall next to her. Seconds after she went in, I heard all sorts of snorts. I also noticed that her toes were facing towards the toilet. She was in there for a few minutes and came out wiping her nose.

UPDATE II - A reader has the skinny on the mystery dude.

his name is scott thomas. he is in a band called ringside. he is also
married with three kids...

Eva LongWHORIA Was Dropped as a Baby

Eva LongWHORIA has to be the most delusional woman on this planet. All she talks about is how it's so hard to be beautiful and how it's so hard to be successful. Um...she's been around like a quick minute and suddenly she's an A-lister. Dumb ho! She recently said that she'd rather have kids than an Oscar. Um...was the latter even an option?

"My priorities are different. The most important thing to me is not work - it's to have a family. I want to be a mother. I want to get married. I want to raise kids."

"I'd much rather have a family than win an Oscar."

She promises that when the show (Desperate Bitches) ends she will return to Texas to start her family. Why wait? There's no time like the present!

Ewwww, she's going to get sooo fat when she gets knocked up. Fat and smelly.

[The Mirror] [Thx Loozer]

Is Barney Heading for the Oven?!

I must say that Barney the Doberman is one hot bitch. He's a stupid bitch, but a hot one. He was hired to protect several expensive and rare teddy bears at an exhibition in England. Among those bears included a $80,000 toy of Elvis Presley's named Mabel.

Well, Barney must've felt anger or lust towards Mabel, because he ripped that ho a part. He also ripped and destroyed several others. He ripped off all their legs and heads and pulled the stuffing out of them. The other bears were worth an estimated $60,000,

Greg West, the security guard on duty at the time is seriously befuddled. He said:

"Barney has been a model guard dog for over six years. I still can't believe what happened.

"Either there was a rogue scent of some kind on Mabel which switched on Barney's deepest instincts, or it could have been jealousy - I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was."

No word yet on the fate of Barney.

[BBC] [Thx LA's Sister]

Tara Reid Finds Love and Kills a Few Fishes

Tara Reid and a mystery man made beautiful music in Miami. Unfortunately, their happiness probably cost the lives of a few fishes, coral and whatever else lives in the vicinity of their persons. What a selfish cow!

I also think we should put our quarters together to get this ho a decent lipo job.

Britney's "Air" Quotes Start a Trend!

Mimi gave an interview to John Norris for MTV to discuss her upcoming tour. She used Britney's infamous "air quotes" to get her point across. I need to just start using that shit randomly. I should've done this weeks ago, but today is a new day.

If you care enough you can download the entire Mimi interview here. I don't care enough, so tell me how that went.







[Mariah Daily] [Thx Gabe]

Parasite Hilton is Practically a Virgin

Parasite Hilton covers up her wonky eye yet again for the cover of Marie Claire magazine. In the article she talks about how she's misunderstood and not the slut that everyone thinks she is.

She seconds that in an interview for GQ Magazine. She was probably crossing her vagina lips when she said this:

"I've only done it with, like, a couple of boyfriends. People think I sleep with everyone, but I'm not like that. I like kissing, but that's all I do. I'm not having sex for a year, I've decided. I'll kiss but nothing else."

That little minx! She said a couple of BOYFRIENDS. I mean I've only done it with a couple of boyfriends, but I've fucked half of the West Coast!

[Thanks Valerie]

Gayken's New Album to Clear Up his Sexuality

The tracklisting for Gayken's new album, A Thousand Different Ways, which is due September 19th will finally answer the question about his sexuality. The 14 track album features 10 covers and 4 new songs.

"Right Here Waiting," originally recorded by Richard Marx
"When I See You Smile," originally recorded by Bad English
"Without You," originally recorded by Badfinger
"Lonely No More"
"Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word," originally recorded by Elton John
"Everytime You Go Away," originally recorded by Paul Young
"Everything I Do (I Do It For You)," originally recorded by Bryan Adams
"I Want to Know What Love Is," featuring Suzie McNeil; originally recorded by Foreigner
"These Open Arms"
"Because You Loved Me," originally recorded by Celine Dion
"Here You Come Again," originally recorded by Dolly Parton
"Everything I Have," featuring William Joseph
"A Thousand Days"
"Broken Wings," originally recorded by Mr. Mister

With a set list like that...no words need to be spoken. He's said it all.

[Billboard] [Thx Hassan]

Gay Al Better Keep It Outside the House

A neighbor of Star Jones and Gay Al claims that a huge, black guy with a bucket hat rang his buzzer at 4 in the morning looking for Gay Al. The neighbor saw the guy on his security camera that is equipped in each apartment. The neighbor told the man that he had the wrong buzzer.

The neighbor also said that Gay Al loves his spandex: "I know Al. I see him in the elevator all the time - in Spandex,"

OMG, that's hilarious and sick at the same time.

The spokeswhore for the couple claim that they didn't know the man and Star and GA have been getting a lot of harassers looking for them since their address was made public.

Sure...sure...just tell the truth! The man was looking to get paid, because Gay Al forgot to do so when he was being humiliated like the pig bottom he is!

[Page Six]

Brad Pitt Sings...For Charity!

Don't worry Brad Pitt isn't putting out a full-length album just yet. He donated his voice to a benefit CD called Hollywood Goes Wild. The 2001 CD brought several stars together for a really doozy of an album. Brad sings a song called "Midtown".

Click here to get a listen! Below is also yet another Brad performance. This time it's with Edward Norton on the set of Fight Club. Their little diddy is called "The Penis Song". Who knew Norton had a sense of humor?



[Us Weekly]

Jennifer Finds Solace in the Arms of Another!!

Rumors are spewing that Jennifer Aniston has called off her engagement to Vince Vaughn. The two never fully admitted they were a couple. Sources say that Jen is heartbroken that their relationship didn't work out.

I'm not sure what to believe. I just read yesterday that Vince and Jen went out on a double date with Courtney Coxsucker and David Arquette. Anyway...who gives a fig right? Those flowers she has planted on her balcony are ugly. She needs to change those, because they make me sick!

And her new man is so much hotter anyway and probably has a bigger dick!

[Tittle Tattle Too]

That Didn't Last Long!

Posh Beckham must feel naked without polyester hair, because ho went back to extensions! Earlier this week she was spotted with her natural length. I never get it...I mean we all know that isn't her real hair, so what's the point? She honestly looks better all natural, but methinks if she doesn't have at least 5 fake items on her she feels a little out of place.

The Dlisted Report

Christian Bale is in final talks to start opposite Russell Crowe in 3:10 to Yuma for director James Mangold (Walk the Line).3:10 to Yuma is based on the 1957 film that starred Glenn Ford as captured outlaw Ben Wade, who finds himself in the custody of small-time rancher Dan Evans. The rancher is secretly trying to take the outlaw to a railway station to catch a train to Yuma for the outlaw's court date. A battle of wills ensues. Filming is expected to take place later next month. [THR]

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly currently star together in Talladega Nights and they are already looking to star in another project together. The pair may star in Step Brothers. Ferrell and Reilly will play coddled guys who live with their respective single parents. Their folks fall in love and marry, making the guys stepbrothers. Shooting isn't scheduled to start for another year. [Variety]

Universal Pictures has agreed to finance a sequel to 2004's Hellboy. Guillermo del Toro will again direct. Ron Perlman will be back as the title character and Selma Blair as his love interest. In a script by del Toro, Ron Perlman returns as Hellboy, the humanoid creature born in the flames of hell who was deposited on Earth's doorstep as an infant and battles otherworldly evil for a covert government agency. Shooting begins this April in Budapest. [Variety]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Evelyn Thomas

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 3rd!

Brad's latest podcast. - L

Runner-ups:

vin diesel panics as cops raid an underground gay club in paris where he was working off certain "debts". - Tim

Mel Gibson's screen test for his new movie role in
"Jews don't Eat Pigs We Just Kick Them In The Ass" - KatieScarlett

I'm ready for my close-up, Ms. Shari Lewis! - BlancheTangWeiDong

Birthday Sluts

Billy Bob Thornton (51)
Cole & Dylan Sprouse (14)
Jeff Gordon (35)
Roger Clemens (44)
Lauren Tom (45)

Happy Birfday to Brad! You're one hot slut!

Watch Flavor of Love 2!

The greatest show on Earth doesn't premiere until Sunday on Vh1, but you can catch the full episode on Vspot right now. Here's a sneak peek of what happens in the first 10 minutes. These two bitches start fighting!

I will have a full recap on Monday morning!

Penny Cruz Lie of the Day!

on Suri Cruise:

"I have met her, she’s really beautiful. She’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen. They are very happy and doing great."

Bitch is a liar! She's on Tom's payroll!

Speaking of MILFs

Cindy Crawford looks toasted as she tries to pole dance in St. Tropez the night before Pam and Kid's wedding. I'm all for old sluts being sexy, but the least she could do is hike up her girls.

[Bricks and Stones]

Tara Reid is a Total MILF

I know Tara Reid doesn't have any kids that we know of, but she looks like a total soccer mom that likes dirty, dirty sex. I mean the bad hair, the fake boobs and the gross tan totally confirm the look. Here she is at a Blender party last night in L.A.

Afternoon Crumbs

Rob Schneider goes against Mel Gibson [BWE]

Paris Hilton claims she made $200 million last year [Popsugar]

Angelina Jolie prefers to be waited on by females [Hollywood Rag]

Stars make good stylists [Cityrag]

Jamie Foxx thinks he should've been James Bond [IDLYITW]

Molly Sims gets all sweaty and active [Hollywood Tuna]

Scarlett Jo is fishy [Just Jared]

Mel Gibson uses that tired old vodka in a water bottle trick [A Socialite's Life]

WTF happened to Kristy Swanson? [Egotastic!]

Blohan's first love is the night [Mollygood]

Melanie Griffith is a Loving Mother

Melanie Griffith is such a caring and nurturing mother that she holds out a light for her 17-year-old daughter, Dakota, as they shop at Maxfield's in West Hollywood.

I nominate her for mother of the year!



[Splash]

Midge is One Hot Ho!!!

Everyone knows I have a fascination with small animals that hold some kind of special skill. Lewis the cat's special skill was being a bad ass bitch. So...I introduce you to Midge. She is a 6-pound chihuahua/terrier mix that can sniff out a bag of cocaine faster than you can say "Blohan". Midge has been paired with Brutus to bring down the drug pushers in Ohio.

Like many police departments, Geauga County has had German shepherds and Labrador retrievers for years. In fact, visitors often ask, "Is the big dog out?" -- referring to 125-pound (56-kilogram) Brutus, says Lt. Tom McCaffrey, Brutus' handler.

Still, Brutus' intimidating, deep-pitched bark disappears when Midge -- her name is short for midget -- playfully wrestles with him in the grass outside the old jail. That's where the dogs participate in narcotics training, where Midge watches the bigger dog maneuver through cabinets, heating vents and other spaces in search of marijuana.

Police dogs must pass a test in which they successfully search for drugs in several places to get state certification. Then they can officially become K-9s and conduct legal searches. McClelland hopes Midge will receive her working papers when she is about a year old.

McClelland's idea of using smaller dogs was reinforced when he returned from vacationing in Canada and saw U.S. Customs officials using beagles to sniff luggage.

The sheriff seems to be part of a trend, as others are training smaller dogs for police uses.

They seriously should send Midge undercover in Hollywood. I know Tinkerbell is a straight-up heroin user. Don't even get me started on the kinds of drugs Baby Luv uses.

[CNN]

The Brady Bunch Make Beautiful Music!

by Lahoma00

Back in 1976, some executive saw the hole in American culture and decided to fill it by giving the Brady Bunch their own variety show. Everyone returned, except for Jan, who was replaced by the ravishing Geri Reischel. What followed was the gayest, cheesiest piece of crap in television history. Watching this honestly short circuits all my sensibilities. I've got to go watch Mother Courage or eat at ESPNZone or something to counteract it!

Janet Changes Album Name

Janet promoting her album on August 2, 2006

Janet Jackson has changed her album name from 20 Years Old to 20 Y.O. at the suggestion of fans. Fans are currently competing in an album design contest.

On July 17th, Janet — in conjunction with Yahoo! — launched “Design Me” n which fans were able to download and “remix” images of the singer to come up with their own album covers. Four winners are to have their designs grace the first one million copies of Janet’s new album. When several fans submitted designs with covers that read “20 Y.O.” instead of “20 Years Old”, Janet liked it so much, she decided to officially change the album’s title. The CD hits stores on September 26th.

God, I hope this album does well for her. Homegirl needs it bad!

[Teen Music]

I Bet She's Lays the Nastiest Farts

Eva LongWHORIA leaves Baja Fresh Mexican on August 2, 2006

Brad & Angie Have Podcast Sex

Brad Pitt on the L.A. set of Ocean's 13

Brad Pitt has found a way to stay in touch with his family while he shoots Ocean's 13. He podcasts several messages and pictures to them throughout the day. His family returns the favor with notes and videos.

A source said: "Brad and Mad are so inseparable they need a way to keep in touch when Brad's away."

He's only shooting in L.A. and that's where Angie and family are living right now. Jesus...can't they be a part for like a quick minute? They make me sick!









[Photos: x17] [Tittle Tattle Too]

Katharine McPhee's Desperate Attempt to Stay in the Press

I haven't written much about American Idol runner-up, Katharine McPhee, because ho gets on my nerves. In case you don't know, the American Idol tour is currently happening. Katharine missed several of the first dates, because she claimed she was sick. However, she managed to hang out with her boyfriend, guest host on The View and who knows what else. Well, Kat is now on the tour and she's already broken her foot. Dumb bitch will do anything to stay in the papers!

Katharine tripped backstage in Charlotte, North Carolina and broke her shit, but went on with the show. She will continue her role as resident whiner on the tour.

A spokeswhore said: "“She'’s in discomfort, but she'’s fine. She will continue on the tour and is not defaulting."

I think she's giving George Dubya a hand job in that pic.

Jessica Admits to Copying Madonna

Chestica Simpson's new single "Public Affair" sounds strangely like Madonna's "Holiday". The singer admitted to being inspired by the song.

She said: "I think people are ready to hear something that Madonna used to do. We all need to hear that every now and again ... It wasn't a sample or something I meant to do, but she did influence me and still does today. I hope to have the longevity of her career."

Who cares if she copied Madonna the song still reeks!

[Post Chronicle]

It Was Keith in the Dorm Room with the Fashion Book!

Last night's Project Runway showed the quick and very un-dramatic exit of Keith Michael. Keith was tipped to win the whole entire enchilada and was known for his charm and cuntness. Keith was ratted out by his fellow contestants for bringing in fashion books (like pattern making and shit) which is a no-no in their contract. Tim Gunn quickly got rid of the problem and it was business as usual.

On a different note...Laura Bennett is so effin' hot!

It's Your Next Oscar Winner

KFed hasn't yet finished one project and he's already looking to add more to his illustrous career. In gearing up for his performance on the Teen Choice Awards on August 20th, he told reporters that he would love to be in a movie.

"I've already been offered a couple of scripts. The most interesting one was a role as a drug dealer, starring BEN AFFLECK's brother (CASEY).

"I was supposed to audition, but I got really sick and couldn't make it"

Got sick? I would hardly call a pot-hangover as sick? I think he should star in a remake of Dirty Dancing.

[Female First]

Vadge Finally Helping Someone Else

Could this be? Could Vadge actually be giving cash to an organization that doesn't start with K and end in H? She told Time Magazine that she's pledging a shit load of money to African orphans.

She said: "Now that I have children and now that I have what I consider to be a better perspective on life, I have felt responsible for the children of the world,"

"I've been doing bits and bobs about it and I suppose I was looking for a big, big project I could sink my teeth into."

She has given a whopping $3 million to various projects.

That big project includes financing a $1 million documentary about the plight of the orphans, as well as a partnership with anti-poverty crusader Dr. Jeffrey Sachs on programs to improve the health, agriculture and economy of a Malawi village.

Sachs is the founder of the Millennium Villages project, which works to make villages self-sufficient through such simple tools as schools, seeds and clean drinking water. He has enlisted such celebrities as Bono and Angelina Jolie in his cause.

As part of her Raising Malawi project, which she cofounded with Kabbalah Center founder Michael Berg, Madonna has also met with Bill Clinton to see if they can work together to bring low-cost medicines to the area, Time reports.

Her plan will kick into high gear next week, when ground will be broken on an orphan-care center in Malawi that will be able to feed and educate as many as 1,000 children a day.

Malawi, a southeast African nation of 12 million people, is plagued by AIDS and malaria and is home to about 1 million orphans. Madonna has yet to set foot in Africa, but plans to go in October.

Ok, I guess the Kabbalah is involved. Whatever at least she's doing something for somebody else. I'm not even mentioning Angelina Jolie! I just can't believe Vadge has never been to Africa!

[Time]

Don't Forget That Star Jones is a Lawyer

Yesterday, Page Six reported that Star Jones and Gay Al were in the process of divorcing and currently telling friends their marriage is over. Star isn't taking this and her people (meaning her big auntie and her lil' cousin) issued this statement:

"These categorically false stories and their continuation are clearly being generated by someone for vindictive reasons alone. [Star Jones and Al Reynolds'] legal representatives have been investigating the source and motivation of these boldfaced lies for some time now and are very close to exposing the individual who has perpetrated them. At which time, appropriate legal action will be taken."

Um...bitch you're unemployed..I think you should be saving your pennies.

[Defamer]

The Dlisted Report

The trailer for The Grudge 2 has been released. The film stars Amber Tamblyn and Sarah Michelle Gellar. It will hit theaters October 13, 2006.

The 4th Die Hard film starring Bruce Willis will be called Live Free or Die Hard and will hit theaters on June 29, 2007. Len Wiseman (Underworld) will direct next month. No other
casting has been announced and previous characters from earlier films will not appear. [Variety]

A sequel to The Pink Panther is currently in the works with a script being written. The story for the second film has been described as high-concept, but is being kept under wraps. Steve Martin will return as Inspector Jacques Clouseau. [THR]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 2nd!

That reminds me, time to take my pill! - W

Runner-up:

Anna Nicole Gives Birth!! They say child resembles 85 year old father. - Brown Eyed Girl

Hot Slut of the Day!

Airforce Amy

Birthday Sluts

Tom Brady (29)
Evangeline Lilly (27)
Michael Ealy (33)
John Landis (56)
Martha Stewart (65)
Martin Sheen (66)
Tony Bennett (80)

Attack of the Clones!

Kate Bosworth at the Superman Tokyo premiere on August 2, 2006 and Kira Gelfling from The Dark Crystal

Dolce & Gabbana is So Gay

Dolce & Gabbana is paying homage to Puma's oral sex ad , but putting a gay twist on it. It's actually kind of hot. The exclusion of the jizz spot must mean the ho took it in the throat. I'm sorry...I can't help that I'm a serious piece of raunch.

[Gawker]

Bring Me Paris Hilton's Head on a Plate!

Let's get right to the nitty-gritty. Here's that piece of trash whore talking about the most beautiful woman in the World, Jordan:

This is Paris: "I am nothing like her. I'm completely flat-chested and she's got huge breasts"

This is Me: "Bitch I'm going to kill you. Don't even speak her name!"

This is Paris: "She does a great job at what she does, but we're not the same at all. I read some nice stuff she said about me but I don't want to criticize her."

This is Me: "You better not criticize her, because I will break your vagina and you know that's your only money maker."

This is Paris: "She seems to be a nice person who has a nice family and these, like, huge breasts, which I definitely don't. It's great that she's a mum and has her brand."

This is Me: "The only brand you're gonna have is the world "SLUT" on your forehead when I get through with you!"

[Contact Music]

Somebody Beat Down Hasselcrack!

Elisabeth Hasselcrack needed to be fired along with Star! But Barbara is hot shit! Here she is giving Hasselcrack what's what!

[Thx Brenda]

Afternoon Crumbs

They don't call her Chestica Simpson for nothing [Hollywood Rag]

Has Jello dropped out of Dallas? [Popsugar]

Sienna Miller is still boinking James Franco, this must be a record [Just Jared]

Jennifer Aniston is waiting for her X to marry first [IDLYITW]

Avil Lavigne is still on honeymoon [Hollywood Tuna]

Jessica Simpson's dad will sell her up the river [Egotastic!]

Mischa Barton all photoshopped and shit [TBLE]

Are Anna Nicole and Britney future BFFs? [A Socialite's Life]

James Blake's public bath [Towleroad]

Marie Osmond needs to give it a rest [TMZ]

Matching Nerds

Jlove and her boyfriend look like two mentally challenged canaries as they shop in Los Angeles. Is it just me or did homegirl get some shit in her tank? I refuse to say "junk in her trunk". Damn, I just said it!

[x17]

Posh's Upgrade!

Posh Beckham debuted an extension free head in London. This is a total upgrade and let's hope she's working on adding some fat to see her face.

[Thx Valerie]

Babs Gets Caught!

Babs Streisand saw these pictures and took our advice. Here she is leaving a plastic surgery clinic in Los Angeles. She is all veiled up and will hopefully reveal her new face soon. I'm thinking she just got a face lift and a few tucks. She's probably preparing for her World Tour.

I wouldn't have guessed her for a juice kind of girl. I totally would think she'd like Yoo-Hoo instead.




[Celebrity Mania]

Xtina Wants You to Watch Her Get Dirrty

Xtina in GQ UK

Xtina Aguilera recently revealed that she likes to have major sex with her husband in public places. She confessed that her latest sex romp happened at a popular London night club.

She said: "It was in a specific room. I can't say. I might get the place in trouble."

First of all, having sex in a private room at a night club is hardly public sex. I want to see that ho get naughty on a bridge.

[Contact Music]

Missouri is My Kind of State!!

I don't think St. Louis had what's running through my mind as they put together their ad campaign for Pistachios. I love that they want to show me their nuts though. Because I love nuts. I just hope their shit isn't hairy, cause I hate hairy nuts!

[Adrants]

Ivana Trump is Really Glamorous

Ivana and Ivanka Trump were guarded by several burly men as they attended Diddy's Unforgivable fragrance launch party on a yacht in St. Tropez. Ivana was on edge and when asked what was the matter, she responded that she's been receiving death threats from the Russian mafia.

OMG that is a straight-up Jackie Collins novel and total glamour. Shit, why can't I get death threats from the Russian mafia. Shit, I'll settle for the Mexican mafia.

Ivanka Trump's new look also had witnesses whispering that she's had some work done. She recently went to Mexico for a few weeks on a "business trip" and came back looking like a brand new girl.

[Page Six]

Jamie Lynn Spears Has Herpes

I think it's going to be ANOTHER slow news day. I'm digging deep. So what Jamie Lynn Spears has herpes on the mouth. She shouldn't leave her house though. I'm sure she got it innocently, but herpes on the mouth makes you look like you're sucking dirty pee pee.

Her fake breasts don't help either.

Shannen Doherty Must Have Amnesia

90s bad bitch, Shannen Doherty, guest hosted on The View this week and attacked Lindsay Blohan for being a party girl. She was probably able to say that with a straight face, because her shit is so stretched out.

She said: "“I wasn'’t partying every night."

"“I showed up late for work once and I got fired. I didn'’t get a scathing letter from an executive. I got canned."

"“The stuff that I did at 18 compared with what girls do now is nothing. I never did drugs, I never partied I wasn'’t that girl."

I mean...is she for real? You know she snorted enough rails to re-create The Orient Express. She might've been late only once, but she was fired for being a fucking bitch! Doesn't she remember trashing her boyfriend's apartment for like no reason?!

I love Shannen to death, but chick needs to check into reality.

[The Sun]

The Truth is Paris Hilton Doesn't Know How to Use a Phone

Parasite Hilton is desperate to end her feud with Nicole Richie. The two are set to appear on David Letterman in September, but Pee is hoping to touch base before then.

She said: "Nicole and I are going through something right now, but I love her. She's like a sister to me, so hopefully we'll work something out.

"I'm scared (to call her) It's just weird and hard when you haven't spoken for so long. I don't know what would happen. I'm going to wait a while. I've known her, like, 20 years and the whole thing is ridiculous."

You know that ho doesn't know how to use a telephone and she's just embarrassed to say.

Furthermore, does she buy all her bathing suits at a Las Vegas stripper store?!

[Irish Examiner]

America's Next Top Tranny

The CW has ordered a new reality series called The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll. And you guessed it! The show will scour the country to find a woman (or ladydude) to replace and become one of the newest PCD members.
Robin Antin, creator of PCD, will serve as executive producer and judge. The show will put contestants through several challenges and also follow their lives behind the competition.

Dlisted has already acquired a list of some of the challenges:

Episode 1 - Hide your dick in just 5 minutes with a red toothpick and a AA battery
Episode 4 - Using a half empty tube of concealer, hide your adam's apple
Episode 6 - Give as many hand jobs to these Japanese businessman as you can in 5 minutes
Episode 12 - Remove all layers of originality from yourself in 45 minutes or less

Oh and this show is going to be the shit!

Ms. Stefani, Please Go To Your Closet and Try Again

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....

WHICH tabloid TV producer spread a false story that his beautiful entertainment reporter is dating a muscular movie star? Seems he's jealous of all the press Vanessa Minnillo gets for dating Nick Lachey. In reality, the lovely reporter dates a director, and has been for years.

Hunky star is Vin Diesel, TV reporter is Maria Menonous

WHICH Hollywood agent is denying he left his wife and kids for one of his clients? She's a top-tier movie star recently separated from her husband, and she's denying it, too.

Top movie star is...Hilary Swank?

WHICH hunky actor who once picked up a young man and brought him back to the Mercer Hotel for oral sex is now hanging out with a top athlete? The two are said to be more than just workout buddies.

Matthew McConagay and Lance Armstrong

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Fox 2000 will remake a big-screen version of the classic Rodgers & Hammerstein musical, Carousel. They are in talks with Hugh Jackman to take the lead role of Billy Bigelow. Jackman would play Billy Bigelow (a role he sung in a 2002 Carnegie Hall concert to honor Rodgers & Hammerstein), a carnival barker whose temper puts him in the middle of a botched robbery and leads to his death. Stuck in purgatory, he's given one day to return and fix the problems he left behind -- namely a teenager who has a lot of his rebellious traits. No other casting or production notes were announced. [Variety]

Eva Green (Casino Royale) will join Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass. Green will play Serafina Pekula, the witch who guides Lyra Belacqua (to be played by newcomer Dakota Blue Richards) on her journey to a parallel universe. Kidman will play the evil Mrs. Coulter. Principal photography begins September 4th in London. [Variety]

Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) will play the lead female role in The Great Buck Howard. She joins Tom Hanks, Colin Hanks and John Malkovich. Written and directed by Sean McGinly, the story revolves around a luckless magician and his assistant who struggle to reinvigorate his career. Blunt will play a self-assured publicist hired by Buck Howard (Malkovich) to publicize an event that will put him back on the map. Shooting began on Monday in Los Angeles. [THR]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for August 1st!!

Crouching monkey hidden step!! - El Bastardo

Runner-up:

First photo: Oh shit I missed the first step..
Second photo: Oh I am about to shit my pants!
Third photo: I just shit my self!
Fourth photo: I feel so dirty!
Fifth Photo: What was I just thinking about?
Last photo: Maybe if I lean to the side they won't see my shit stain! - KS

Hot Slut of the Day!

Baffle the Cat

[For Sbrain]

Birthday Sluts

Wes Craven (67)
Hallie Eisenberg (14)
Edward Furlong (29)
Kevin Smith (36)
Mary-Louise Parker (42)
Victoria Jackson (47)
Anthony Crivello (51)
Joanna Cassidy (61)
Peter O'Toole (74)

MTV Is Old!

by Lahoma00

MTV turns 25 today, which means it's no longer in its own demo. In celebration of the one-time home for music videos turning a quarter century old, here are some of the hottest things MTV gave us:

Courtney Love vs. Madonna

A classic, but worth repeat viewing. Establishes Madonna as cold, elitist, wannabe British bitch and Courtney Love as a crackpot posing as Tina Yothers






Heidi and Audrina From The Hills

Together these two sluts may be able to figure out how to flush a toilet, but rarely need to since they've got shit for brains. A fun drinking game is to chug everytime they use the word "cute." You'll be wasted by 10:07!



Martha Quinn

She was one of the first VJs, but she was much hotter on the 1990 dramedy The Bradys, where she married parapalegic Bobby Brady, then opened a catering business with alcoholic Marcia!



Ayanna vs. Veronica on Road Rules: Semester At Sea

This was the best season beacuse Ayanna would go apeshit every episode. Note the use of the word "parchance." I believe after this doozy Ayanna started casting voodoo spells against Veronica. I knew a girl on the ship with them and she said Ayanna once went screaming down the hall, bit into a roll of toilet paper, then tried to throw herself off the boat!



Tonya from the Real World



God Bless this bitch! If Tara Reid ever keels over we've got someone as equally trashy, slutty and stupid to take over. I'd pass her kidney stones anyday!



Oddville MTV

Screw America's Got Talent, this show put weirdo circus acts on the map. The hottest part of the episode was the end where the geeky host, hot co-host and a giant stuffed monkey would all dance around with whatever guests were on that day (roller skating grandmother, bilingual midget, whatever). In tribute to MTV, here's an episode clip where Underdog Lady sings "We've Only Just Begun!"



Happy Birthday MTV! Here's to hoping you make me an even dumber bitch in the next 25 years than you have in the past!

I Know...Just One More Mel Gibson Thing!

This photo was taken just 1 hour before Mel Gibson's arrest. He parties with these two chicks at Moonshadows in Malibu. Do you think they are Jewish? Oh yeah and he apologized AGAIN!

I'm still waiting for the video of his crazy ass getting arrested!

[Canada.com]

Madge Lays One

Madge embedded her wrinkly hands in cement at Wembley Stadium for what reason...I'm not sure? She is also rocking her new H&M jumpsuit which is fug!!!! She's being cute which I like, but you know she's laying major gas. Yoga does that to you.

[Splash]

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Janet Jackson at 106 and Park on July 31, 2006

Who put this looking together for Janet Jackson? She looks like a Dr. Seuss prostitute on acid. It's not cute.

Afternoon Crumbs

Tom Cruise is #1 at the high crotch [A Socialite's Life]

Gayle King needs a nap [Crunk + Disorderly]

The Best Movie Characters of all-time [Bumpshack]

Blohan and yet another bikini [Egotastic!]

Sarah Michelle Gellar can't get away from the horror flicks [Popbytes]

Tori Spelling needs cash fast [IDLYITW]

Julia Roberts' hair smells like straight up shit [Hollywood Rag]

You will be a sex bomb if you use Victoria's Secret make-up [Hollywood Tuna]

Charlize's dogs are totally sleeping their way to the top [Just Jared]

Shannen Doherty makes fun of Paris [Popsugar]

That's one beat-up Wonder Woman [Drunken Stepfather]

Rosario Dawson's oral skils [The Bastardly]

Guess the Ho?

Click here to see the ho behind the smile! Congrats to rebecca marie for being the first to nail it!

Why Can't I Be There?!?

Natalie Portman beats the heat at the Patagonia Resort in Argentina on July 28, 2006

Mel Gibson's Mug Shot Says It All!!

Gawker has photoshopped what is really going on in Mel Gibson's head. I'm so over this story, so I'm not going to elaborate. I really want a frozen yogurt instead. Oh and I guess Mel really wanted to do himself in. He should've stuck to the original plan.

Mimi is Trying!

I'm not going to say she looks like a fool, because our Mimi is trying! She wants to be that woman so bad, but it's just not clicking. I'm constantly getting the 1990s San Fernando porn star vibe from her. The glasses just confirm the look. Here she is at the Pepsi Arena on July 29th.. She needed to perform at the Diet Pepsi Arena. God, that was bad. I'm sorry the heat is frying my brains!

Who Will Play Jordan in Her Biopic?

Jordan is currently working on a biopic of her life that she claims has already been greenlit. There is no word on what studio or television channel has picked up the project. Jordan said in the past that she wants Antonio Banderas to play her husband, Peter Andre.

But who will play the woman herself? Jordan has said she doesn't want to star in it, but wants Keira Knightley to play her. Yes...flat-chested Keira! I personally think CoCo is a better choice.

Emanuel Lewis HAS to play Harvey. Like it was the role he was born to play.

[Monsters and Critics]

Is the Mothership Coming?!

According to Mollygood, something is going down at the Scientology Center in Los Angeles. One of her readers claims that TomKat have made several appearances there this weekend. Last week the pair were rumored to be getting married this past weekend and of course this did not transpire.

I live in Beachwood Canyon (right up the hill from the Scientology Celebrity Centre) and there is most definitely something going on soon. I know that Tom and Katie have been there twice in the last week and now the Centre is covered in tents and outdoor chandeliers. Huge planters are IN THE STREET to prevent anyone driving too close (yeah, it's really annoying). Coincidence? I think we may have a scoop!

They aren't getting ready for a wedding! They are getting ready to board the mothership to finally go to their home planet to jump on sofas and laugh hysterically.

UPDATE - Dlisted reader Emily confirms this!

I drive by the celebrity scientology center
on my way to work every day, and this morning there was a large truck
parked on the side in front of the huge planters and the "helpers" (who
were all wearing green shirts as opposed to their traditional light
blue button down and navy slacks) were unloading a bunch of chairs,
like wedding chairs, not office chairs.

UPDATE II - Looks like it's not a wedding that's going on this weekend! Apparently, there's a 37th Gala Event on August 5th (Saturday). Whatever that means. [Thx case]

UPDATE III (3:17pm EST) Reader MeFromLa just wrote in that Katie Holmes has just arrived at the Celebrity Center with a baby in her arms and a shit load of bodyguards. Those of you that are close by head over there now to get photos!

[Pic: Worth]

Gwen Stefani Looks Beat

Gwen Stefani and Kingston took her parents out for some shopping in Los Angeles. Homegirl needs a nap.

It's another slow news day, folks!

[x17]

Flavor of Love 2 Debuts Tomorrow!

Vh1 knows how to debut a show. They are showing Flavor of Love 2 tomorrow on V-spot. The 90-minute premiere is set to debut on TV screens this Sunday, but they want to get a head starts. Bitches know where their audience is at!

The second season will again follow Foofy Foo as he parties and sorts through skanks to fine the one! Make sure you look out and root for Dlisted reader Jenesis!!!

There's Nothing Like Getting a Smirnoff Ice Poured on Your Head

Blink 182 drummer, Travis Barker, and his wife , Shanna, are the stars of the MTV reality show The Barkers. The show basically shows them being in love, fighting, etc... However, their relationship is apparently on the rocks. The two showed up to L.A. club, Privilege, separately and kept their distance. When Shanna saw Travis take a picture with a hot female fan she flipped out and threw a drink on the woman and then the glass on her husband.

A rep for the couple denied to comment.

Shanna is hot shit! Her marriage to Oscar De La Hoya probably taught her how to fight with the best of them. I really thought this couple was going to make it, but oh well Hollywood sure knows how to chew em up.

[Page Six]

Paris is Addicted to Nachos' Cheese

Paris Hilton at the Unforgivable fragrance dinner in St. Tropez, July 31st

Parasite Hilton has confirmed that she and Nachos are back together, but only temporarily. The two reunited in St. Tropez and sent many running for the toilet as they put on a very public display of affection in a local night club.

"We're together now here. We love each other," Hilton, who, like Niarchos, is in Saint-Tropez, told PEOPLE on Monday at Diddy's Unforgettable 50 party aboard a rented yacht.

While talking to PEOPLE, Hilton paused for a moment to call Niarchos on her PDA. "Stav, where are you, baby?" she said. "Come on over. I love you."

Seconded Hilton's friend, Carolina D'Amore, "They love each other very much."

On Saturday night, Hilton was seen partying with Niarchos at the VIP Room nightclub, where she treated him to a pole dance. The following night they kissed at the nearby club Les Caves du Roy.

Hilton, 25, and Stavros, 21, split in May after seven months of dating.

Yawn....why do I even bother with this piece of trash?



[People]

Island Records Puts Blohan on Mute

Lindsay Blohan is a bad, bad girl and Island Records isn't having it. The notorious party girl was set to travel to London to promote her album Speak which was due to be released there. She never showed up to help sell it, so the single flopped. The label has decided to not release the entire album and sack the bitch.

A source said: "A single was a huge flop over here because Lindsay couldn't be bothered to promote it.

"In the end they didn't even bother releasing the album in Britain. She didn't bother to come over to the UK to do interviews or make TV appearances to help sell the album. Island have now decided not to do another one with her."

I think even if she promoted the hell out of it, it would've still flopped. Because it sucks! She should use her throat for sucking dick and not singing!

[IOL]

Mel Gibson Won't Be Doing the Tango with Anne Frank Anytime Soon

ABC has pulled a mini-series about the Holocaust which was to be produced by Mel Gibson. This comes after Mel made anti-Semitic remarks during an arrest for DUI.

The series was to have been based on a memoir about a Dutch Jew during the Second World War and made by Gibson's Icon Productions company, the Wall Street Journal reported today, quoting an unnamed ABC spokesman.

A rep for ABC claims the project was pulled, because they had not seen a script in two years. However, the timing makes it seem like it has more to do with Mel's Jew-hating speech.

Mel checked himself into rehab yesterday.

[The Times Online]

Heath Ledger Better Be Ready to Laugh

Warner Bros. has confirmed that Heath Ledger will play The Joker in The Dark Knight, the sequel to Batman Begins. Jonathon Nolan has written the script with a story by Christopher Nolan. Christian Bale will resume his role as the title character. No other casting was announced.

Shooting is set to begin early next year with Christopher Nolan at the helm again.

This actually really hot casting and a good decision. I myself was rooting for Paul Bettany, but I'll settle for Heath. Don't expect Katie to come back. Bitch is busy being a fake mother. However, it would've been hot to see Tom Cruise as The Joker and Suri Cruise as Harley Quinn.

[Coming Soon]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Nancy Grace

[For Ruth]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for July 31st!

Dude, no matter how hard you try and squeeze your cheeks together, that guy in the back is still gonna smell that fart of yours. - NoAnjl

Runner-up:

John Lennon: "I could have SWORN Yoko said July 31, 3 p.m." - Blanche TangWeiDong

Birthday Sluts

Ashley Parker Angel (24)
Tempestt Bledsoe (33)
Sam Mendes (41)
Coolio (42)
Chuck D (45)
Yves Saint-Laurent (70)
Dom DeLuise (73)

Justin Timberlake Waits for a Shark

Justin Timberlake looks like his mind is elsewhere as his girlfriend, Cameron Diaz, throws himself all over him in Hawaii. He probably wishes he was with Princess Fiona instead, because he's sick of Cam's pizza face and twig body. However, I think he does like them skinny since he wants Posh.

Passion of the Twelve Steps

Mel Gibson has checked himself into rehab confirms his spokeswhore. This is following Mel's very public tirade after being arrested for driving drunk.

Gibson's rep, Alan Neirob, exclusively tells Star, "He is in a program of recovery at this time."

Chris Prentiss, a neighbor of Gibson's and the co-founder of celebrity treatment centre Passages in Malibu, Calif., tells Star: "I understand he has gone to a treatment centre. The center that I've heard he's checked himself into follows the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program. And I don't believe that will help him."

Prentiss -- who refused to name the rehab center he's heard Gibson is in -- adds: "He needs individual intense therapy by a team of people who know what they are looking for in causes in alcoholism."

Let's hope Mel gets help and comes out clean! Also, let's hope he gets fucked up the ass by a few hot dudes, because bitch needs it so he won't be such a grouch! You know he likes it up the heiny, I don't have to tell you that.

[TMZ]

Afternoon Crumbs

Will Ken Paves stick his clit in Chestica's open mouth already? [Hollywood Tuna]

Do not talk about Gayken's sexuality [BWE]

Heidi Klum all nekkid in Jane [Egotastic!]

MK Olsen in 10 years [Cityrag]

Kate Hudson doesn't want to see your penis [Hollywood Rag]

I guess Ryan Reynolds and his pony are still in love [Just Jared]

Ben Affleck really wants that ball [Popsugar]

Nicole Richie nude pictures? [IDLYITW]

Some ho named Black Princess thinks Britney is fug [A Socialite's Life]

What is going to happen to Mel Gibson's holocaust project? [Mollygood]

Jessica Alba bends over for her dog [The Bastardly]

Guess the Ho?

UPDATE - Click here to see what ho is behind the smile. Congrats to Suri Cruise Hubbard for being the first to nail it!

Cameron Diaz Should Stick to Voice Work

Cameron Diaz loves voicing Princess Fiona in the Shrek films not because she's a lazy bitch, but because she doesn't have worry about her looks. Cameron has famously fought the battle with acne and she hates her skinny body.

She said: "It's great. I don't have to worry about my skin or my figure."

Why hasn't this ho signed up for Proactiv yet? Seriously, aren't they like dying to have her. Even that acid probably can't help her face. Methinks she breaks out, because she's ugly on the inside!!!

[Contact Music]

Shakira Leads MTV Nominations

Shakira and Red Hot Chili Peppers each received 7 nominations for the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards. Madonna received 5 nominations and Xtina received 4. Here's how it went down:

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Christina Aguilera: "Ain't No Other Man"
Madonna: "Hung Up"
Panic! at the Disco: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Dani California"
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"

BEST MALE VIDEO
Busta Rhymes f/ Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: "Touch It Remix"
James Blunt: "You're Beautiful"
Kanye West f/ Jamie Foxx: "Gold Digger"
Nick Lachey: "What's Left Of Me"
T.I.: "What You Know"


BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Christina Aguilera: "Ain't No Other Man"
Kelly Clarkson: "Because of You"
Madonna: "Hung Up"
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: "Promiscuous"
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"


BEST GROUP VIDEO
The All-American Rejects: "Move Along"
Fall Out Boy: "Dance, Dance"
Gnarls Barkley: "Crazy"
Panic! at the Disco: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Dani California"


BEST RAP VIDEO
50 Cent: "Window Shopper"
Busta Rhymes f/ Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: "Touch It Remix"
Chamillionaire: "Ridin' "
T.I.: "What You Know"
Yung Joc f/ Nitty: "It's Goin' Down"


BEST R&B VIDEO
Beyoncé f/ Slim Thug: "Check on It"
Chris Brown: "Yo (Excuse Me Miss)"
Jamie Foxx f/ Ludacris: "Unpredictable"
Mariah Carey: "Shake It Off"
Mary J. Blige: "Be Without You"


BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO
Black Eyed Peas: "My Humps"
Common: "Testify"
Daddy Yankee: "Rompe"
Kanye West f/ Jamie Foxx: "Gold Digger"
Three 6 Mafia: "Stay Fly"


BEST DANCE VIDEO
Madonna: "Hung Up"
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: "Promiscuous"
Pussycat Dolls f/ Snoop Dogg: "Buttons"
Sean Paul: "Temperature"
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"


BEST ROCK VIDEO
30 Seconds To Mars: "The Kill"
AFI: "Miss Murder"
Green Day: "Wake Me Up When September Ends"
Panic! at the Disco: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Dani California"


BEST POP VIDEO
Christina Aguilera: "Ain't No Other Man"
Madonna: "Hung Up"
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: "Promiscuous"
Pink: "Stupid Girls"
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"


BEST NEW ARTIST IN A VIDEO
Angels and Airwaves: "The Adventure"
Avenged Sevenfold: "Bat Country"
Chris Brown f/ Juelz Santana, "Run It!"
James Blunt: "You're Beautiful"
Panic! at the Disco: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
Rihanna: "S.O.S."


VIEWER'S CHOICE
Chris Brown f/ Juelz Santana: "Run It!"
Fall Out Boy: "Dance, Dance"
Kelly Clarkson: "Because of You"
Rihanna: "S.O.S."
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"

For the first time in history viewers will get to vote in ALL categories. Click here to vote!

[MTV]

Penny Cruz, Yellow Bikini and St. Tropez

It's a slow news day people!

Is Hottie Getting Her Own Reality Show?!

Vh1 just doesn't know went to quit, do they? Because of the major success of Flavor of Love they have decided to put together a spin-off they call The Flavorette.

Reality TV Casting call has a breakdown on what they are looking for:

Casting Males 21-35 for new VH-1 Reality Relationship Show!!! THE FLAVORETTE.
From the producers of the hit VH-1 shows The Surreal Life, My Fair Brady, and Flavor of Love comes THE FLAVORETTE!!!
One of the divas from the VH1 show, FLAVOR OF LOVE, will have their chance to choose from 20 studs to find her true love.

There's only two bitches that deserve this shit and that's Hottie and New York! If it's Hoopz or Pumkin I'm going to be severely disappointed.

This show is going to fail. Men can't go at it like women can.

P.S. - Isn't that photo of Hottie a true masterpiece? I'm hanging that over my fireplace.

[Thx Danielle]

Is Reichen Behind Lance's Coming Out?

In case you have been trapped in Parasite Hilton's vagina for the past week, Lance Bass came out of the closet. He also confirmed his relationship to reality TV whore, Reichen Lehmkuhl. Reichen also spoke out and said he was proud of Lance and blah blah blah...

However, their relationship might not be so peachy. Sources close to Lance claim that he's sick and tired of Reichen's controlling ways. Reichen has a book coming out and forced Lance to come clean so that he could get some publicity.

A source said: "Reichen forced Lance to come out just at the same time he has a book coming out ['Here's What We'll Say'] so he could ride the publicity wave. He is a big gay activist and very controlling. He wants Lance to give up his straight friends and do whatever he tells him to."

If Lance let Reichen orchestrate his coming out then slut is retarded. However, I do believe this shit. Reichen is a fame-hungry whore. He will do whatever it takes. I mean do you think he's bagging Lance, because he really cares for him and thinks he's hot shit? No, he's bagging him because he's a fallen pop star who has come out of the closet giving him some press. I mean look at what happened to Anne Heche after Ellen Degeneres came out with her in tow.

[Page Six]

Sebastian Bach is Holding on For Dear Life

Sebastian Bach opens for Guns N' Roses at Wembley Arena in London, July 30th

Why is it that these rock guys still hold on so tight to their old look? I mean Sebastian Bach has to be in his 40s and look at this shit he's wearing?! His rock hard abs have been replaced by a muffin top! I mean, it's not hot. However, I would still hit it.

Tori Spelling's Free Porn 4 Life

Tori Spelling told Giant Magazine that she and husband, Dean McDermott, use SugarDVD.com to rent porn movies. When SugarDVD CEO, Jax Smith, got wind of this he promised to publish a list of what Tori has rented. Tori's reps didn't like this and immediately put a stop to it. Jax is still happy about the celebrity endorsement though and has promised Tori and hubby free porn for life.

I bet you they are renting some sick shit! Probably like scat films. Her husband seriously needs some hard core crap in order to have sex with that hatchet face.

[Page Six]

Keep the Diseases to Yourselves

These pictures of Parasite Hilton spreading her legs for Nachos in St. Tropez on Saturday are sparking rumors that the two are back together. The two met at a local night club and apparently started to go at it. They were making out and started dancing. Paris had her hands all over him and unbuttoned his shirt for all to see.

I personally don't think they are back together. Just because she spreads her legs doesn't mean she's dating them. If that was the case she would be dating everyone from her father to the garbage man. On a plus side, if they are together that means their thousands of diseases are kept between them.

Hot Nails

Britney Spears is seen here in Las Vegas as she and SPF accompanied KFed while he shoots some stupid music video. Britney looks like she's trying hard to shed her "white trash" image. I think she should start by not having her nails done at the JcPenney salon. Oh Britney, just stay inside and watch Maury. You know that's what you really want to do.



[x17]

Blohan Defies the Boss

Lindsay Blohan was publicly told by the CEO of Morgan Creek Pictures to cut her party girl ways while filming Georgia Rule in Los Angeles. Blohan decided to defy his wishes, because two nights ago she was in Las Vegas at Jeff Beacher's Madhouse party at the Hard Rock Hotel. Blohan was there with Harry Morton.

Why does she look more cracked out everyday? Furthermore, do they not have combs or hair brushes in the crack den? Harry Morton has fag face.



More pictures at x17

This is a Hot Wedding Outfit

Kate Moss wore a really hot outfit to a wedding on Saturday. The wedding was of Primal Scream frontman, Bobby Gillespie and his fashion stylist girlfriend. Kate strutted into the church in Straffordshire, England and gave the reading.

The Dlisted Report

Nicole Kidman will play the glamorous villian Mrs. Coulter in The Golden Compass. Chris Weitz is directing from his own script. British newcomer Dakota Blue Richards has already been cast for the lead role of Lyra Belacqua, who travels to a parallel universe to battle the forces of evil and rescue her best friend. Shooting on the $150 million film starts this September in London with a release date in November 2007. [Variety]

Jessica Biel has joined Adam Sandler and Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. The film revolves around two heterosexual firefighters (Sandler and James) who pose as a gay married couple in order to qualify for their department's domestic-partner benefits. Biel will play an attorney who reps the duo in their case and ends up being the object of Sandler's affection. Shooting begins August 31st. [THR]

Justin Long (Crossroads) will join Bruce Willis in Die Hard: Reset, the fourth in the series. "Reset" finds hero John McClane (Willis) coming out of retirement to battle an internet terrorist organization intending to systematically demolish or seize our technological infrastructure via a three-day plan. These guys will gradually step up malfunctions starting with traffic control systems, working towards economic markets, and finally shutting down key utilities like power and water, to send the U.S. essentially into a modern Dark Ages. Shooting begins this Fall in Vancouver [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for July 28th!

Suri does exist! - Biff

Runner-up:

Paris Hilton's first pet crab spawns after falling out of her britches..- ShannonG

Hot Slut of the Day!

Connie Sellecca

Birthday Sluts

Dean Cain (40)
Ben Chaplin (36)
J.K. Rowling (40)
Wesley Snipes (44)

Hot Slut of the Week: Bryan Boy

Age: ?
Birthday: ?
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HSL of the Day: July 28, 2006

Claim to Fame: Creator and writer of the popular blog Bryan Boy.

Where is he now? Traveling the world, buying everything in sight and continuing to be the hottest bitch in the Philippines.

Why is he HSL of the Week? Bryan Boy is not only an extremely talented and funny writer, he's also a fashion icon. Fuck Kate Moss, this is the real shit right here.

Dina Lohan Should Keep Her Tramp Mouth Stuffed!

Lindsay Blohan's slut-mother, Dina Lohan, has spoken out against the letter her daughter received from the CEO of Morgan Creek Pictures in which he blasts Blohan for partying too much and not doing the work.

She said: "The Wording Was Ridiculous…Maybe He Has Personal Issues With Whomever And It Came Out With My Child. I Don't Know Him. I Can't Judge Him. I Don't Think It Was A Smart Thing To Do To A Young Girl."

She also blasted the CEO's statements about her possibly faking heat exhaustion.

"Lindsay was in 105 (degree weather) saying, 'Mommy, I feel sick; like I am going to faint.' She took herself to the hospital. She has asthma and in extreme cold or heat you can't breathe."

"Lindsay gets to work late, OK… She's a human being. There was one day when she was late and they worked the schedule around her. Garry (Marshall, the film's director), Jane (Fonda, her co-star), everybody loves her." "As far as Lindsay's health is concerned, she's fine and she is back on set."

"She will win an Academy Award for this picture… Justice!"

First of all, Dina needs to realize that her daughter needs to get her shit together. I mean, how can you be late when you are driven to work? You basically have to get up and get in the car. How hard is that? Millions of other girls would kill for her position and not eff it up. Second of all, Dina needs to keep her mouth stuffed with dicks and stop talking bull.

[Access Hollywood] [More photos at x17]

Janet Jackson Quote I Didn't Need to See

on sex with Troll Dupri:

"I feel like I finally met my match."

"In relationships it was always the guy telling me, 'OK, hold on, wait a minute.' I'd ask my girlfriends, 'Aren't we supposed to be the ones who say, 'Wait, not tonight, I have a headache'? This happened through two [marriages] for me. I thought something's not right here. But with Jermaine I don't have to say anything; he knows I'm ready. Any time, any place."

WTH is Meg Ryan Wearing?!

Did Meg Ryan enroll in a Mormon high school? Vans and a below knee skirt? I'm not even going to start on that hair. Apparently, these pictures were taken as she headed to the beauty salon. Let's hope that salon is well-equipped, because bitch needs a tractor and a surgeon to fix her shit.

Britney Supports Her Man

Britney Spears made an appearance at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas last night to watch the shooting of her husband's new video. KFed showed up with his brother (in that dumb feather blazer).

I thought that Britney wouldn't look as trashy with the darker hair, but I was wrong. She's trying her best, but no matter what she can't delete the trailer park.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Bill Nye

[For Pamela]

Birthday Sluts

Vivica A. Fox (42)
Jaime Pressley (29)
Hilary Swank (32)
Tom Green (35)
Christopher Nolan (36)
Simon Baker (37)
Lisa Kudrow (43)
Laurence Fishburne (45)
Kate Bush (48)
Delta Burke (50)
Jean Reno (58)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (59)