Dlisted: 07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Just Married!!!



As expected, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock tied the knot today in St. Tropez. Doesn't it look like a classy affair?

The best quote came from maid of honor, Tamara Mellon (head of Jimmy Choo)

"She was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen – like a modern-day Brigitte Bardot."

Bitch probably has heat stroke!





The Photoshop Awards: Janet Jackson's Album Cover

No Matter What


Tara Reid at Cabana Club Anniversary in Hollywood on July 28, 2006

No matter what you do...Tara Reid cannot look like anything, but a beat-up, rode-hard hooker. I kind of feel bad for the girl, because Ajax has still not invented a formula strong enough to get her clean.

Somebody Lock This Nut Up!



Mel Gibson was arrested on suspicion of DUI yesterday and apparently during his arrest he went batshit and started yelling religious epithets. The L.A. Sheriff's office has also been trying to cover this part of the arrest up. TMZ has a copy of the police report which states that Mel was swearing like a mad man. Here's some lovely things he reportedly said:

  • "My life is fucked"
  • "You motherfucker! I'm going to fuck you!"
  • "Fucking Jews! The Jews are responsible for all the Wars in the World. Are you a Jew?"

Officers at the scene and at the station say that Mel kept screaming about Jews and how he was going to fuck all of the officers.

Finally the truth comes out! Mel likes to fuck men and has been hiding it all these years. A little bit of the sauce brought out who he really is.

Seriously, I hope he suffers dearly for this shit. There are tons of top Jews in Hollywood that I'm sure aren't too happy about this.

Read more at TMZ

UPDATE - Mel issued an extremely lengthy apology which he so didn't right. He's probably still recovering from a terrible hangover. I accept your apology Mel.

TomKat's Secret Wedding



Tom Cruise's bitches have denied that a TomKat wedding is taking place this weekend. However, Kate Holmes' hairdresser, Oscar Blandi, has been booked all weekend sparking rumors that something is going on.

Sources are saying that a Scientologist ritual is going down and Katie's parents have not been invited, because of their strict Catholic beliefs.

A Scientologist ritual? That shit sounds scary! So, that's what Suri's being used for! They are going to drink her blood to make themselves more powerful!

[Page Six]

Is This Pamela Anderson's Wedding Outfit?



Pamela Anderson lounged on a yacht in St. Tropez with photographer David LaChapelle earlier today. Pam is due to marry Kid Rock in what could be an illegal wedding.

Love the hat, but homegirl is not sexy.





Hot Slut of the Day!



Carmen Sandiego

Birthday Sluts



Stephen Dorff (33)
Rachel Miner (26)
Wil Wheaton (34)
Martina McBride (40)
Leslie Easterbrook (57)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Orgasm-Yawn-Pain



Mischa Barton makes faces in between picking her teeth as she lunches with a friend in London.

A dead 1970s porn star called and wants her sunglasses back.






Vintage Celine Dion



Everyone has seen this clip of Celine Dion on Larry King speaking out about Hurricane Katrina, but I seriously had a dream about it last night. It's the most amazing piece of footage I have ever seen. The word "kayak" goes through my head every moment of life.

This clip alone is the reason why God put me on this Earth.

Cameron Diaz's Butt Eats Her Bikini Bottoms



My favorite geeky couple is at the beach again. Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake proved that they are still in love and probably annoying the beejeezus (love that word) out of each other by frolicking in the water with two kids.

I think Justin's ink has to be the ugliest tattoo ever.










[ONTD]

Afternoon Crumbs



Mel Gibson in Passion of the Sauce [TMZ]

Is Gayken going to follow in Lance Bass' footsteps? [SOW]

Mandy and Andy back at last? [Popsugar]

Brittany Murphy
still has coke-face [Hollywood Tuna]

Victoria Silvstedt should take her orgasms indoors [IDLYITW]

Stephanie Seymour is old, but hot [Egotastic!]

Gwen Stefani has some ugly clothes [Just Jared]

TomKat to have a summer wedding my ass [Hollywood Rag]

Celebrity DNA for sale [Cityrag]

Kate Beckinsale and I have so much in common [Mollygood]

A Love Letter to Blohan



The letter above is from the CEO of Morgan Creek Pictures, the production company behind Georgia Rule which is currently shooting and stars Blohan herself. The letter states that everyone is sick of her ass and he threatens to sue her if she doesn't show up to work and on time. He also calls her out on her hard partying and blaming it on "heat exhaustion". Damn, this bitch is hot! He's taking fucking names.

Serves a bitch right! It's not hard to show up, go into an air-conditioned trailer, get pampered, memorize like two lines and then say them in the sun for like 30 minutes. Bitch doesn't know how good she has it.

[Thx eslove]

Methinks Nicole Richie's Latest Fashion Trend isn't Going to Take Off

*photos removed by request*

Nicole Richie singing karaoke at Guy's in L.A.

Visit People to see a pic

Who is Kinga?!



Yesterday, I asked all of you who the hell Kinga was?! The question has been answered and it explains everything!

She is known for infamously pleasuring herself with a wine bottle on last season's Big Brother UK. What is it about the UK that makes you want to screw yourself with an inanimate object?

Did Perez Hilton Out Lance Bass?



Lance Bass came out earlier this week to People Magazine confirming the gay rumors and also going public about his relationship to Reichen Lemkel. Access Hollywood asked Perez Hilton his take on helping to out Lance Bass.

Back in September 2005, Perez started posting about Lance possibly being gay. Over the next few months his coverage of the N'Sync member intensified when he broke the news that Lance was involved with Amazing Race winner, Reichen. Perez also had contests on what to the name the new couple and settled on, Princess Frosty Locks.

Perez defended his actions: "“I know there is some controversy about outing people, but I also believe the only way we're gonna have change is with visibility. And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will. I think that lot of celebrities have an archaic fear that being gay will hurt their career but look at Rosie. Look at Ellen."

I personally don't think Perez did anything wrong with writing about Lance. His readers should see it as speculation. I mean, there's only a few ways we would really know that Lance is gay. He could either straight up say it or he could get caught in the act. Yes, Perez might have added to the fire by constantly posting about it...but in the end I think it is Lance's choice.

That being said, I think that Perez's reason is a bunch of bullshit. Come on, I don't think this is about creating "visibilityty" and opening doors. How is forcing someone to deal with something that has probably been very painful, opening doors? This isn't about gay rights, it's about entertainment and gossip. Had Perez said "I'm just doing my job. I'm reporting what I'm told and what I think to believe is the truth", then ok...I buy that. Sometimes gossipers decide to take a more direct approach and sometimes (ala Ted Casablanca) they decide to not make it so obvious.

There's nothing wrong with what Perez did, however I think he's really fooling himself if he believes that it's about gay rights.

[Pic: PerezHilton]

Panty Creamer of the Day: David Beckham


David Beckham arrived for training in Austria on July 27, 2006



Theater Review: Haylie Duff in Hairspray



Last night, I was invited to attend Hairspray on Broadway which currently features Haylie Duff in the role of Amber Von Tussle. The role was played by Vitamin C in the movie version and will be played by Brittany Snow in the upcoming film version that is due for release next year.

Hairspray opened on Broadway on August 15, 2002 and quickly became an instant hit winning several Tony Awards and making a star out of Marissa Jaret Winokour. Since then everyone from Bruce Vilanch to Diana DeGarmo have appeared in the show.

The story is based on the 1988 cult-classic by John Waters. It follows Baltimore teenager, Tracy Turnblad, as she dreams of becoming a featured dancer on the Corny Collins show. The trouble is, bitch is fat. Tracy quickly gets her dreams crushed by the show's leading star, Amber, and her crazed stage-mom, Velma. Tracy eventually gets on the show and becomes an instant star. She uses her fame to break down doors for the blacks in Baltimore.

Haylie Duff as the beautiful girl isn't very believable. Ho is just as ugly in person as she is in pictures. I really thought bitch could pull it off...being the bitchy brat...but unforunately she fails hard. She can't sing very well, she is probably the worst dancer I've ever seen on Broadway and she has zero presence. However, she's the sole reason why I loved the show. Why? Because I love putting a bitch down! She's like a goldfish in a sea of sharks. You can tell everybody else is working overtime to try and keep this girl from falling flat on her face. Even the mounds of polyester hair and loads of make-up don't change the fact that she's a dog.

If you're like me and get pleasure out of seeing others fail than this is for you. And if you're not like me and love to "feel good" and shit than this is for you. The music is catchy and the entire production is filled with energy. Don't expect the movie, because this is nothing like it.

In the end, it made a stone-cold bitch like me crack a smile. And how can you not love a show that has Tevin Campbell?! I almost forgot about that ho!

Hairspray at the Neil Simon Theater currently stars Haylie Duff, Tevin Campbell, Darlene Love, Blake Hammond and Shannon Durig. Click here for tickets



Eva the Diva Goes Topless



America's Next Top Model 3 winner, Eva Pigford, shows off her breasts during this photoshoot. She does have nice ones, but it's a little sleazy. What am I saying?! She's a reality tv star for damn sakes! It totally looks like a porn DVD cover.


Click to see NSFW pics


[Concrete Loop] [Thx Curious Cherry]








Since When Does Maria Menounos Have a Penis?!

Vin Diesel has hired Maria Menounos to be his latest girlfriend. The two apparently are now an item after meeting when Maria interviewed him on her Access Hollywood show. The pair heated up rumors when Maria chose Vin as her date to see Rita Wilson make her Broadway debut in Chicago.

Hmm.....Maria would like us to think that Vin was HER DATE to a Broadway musical? More like the other way around. You know Vin knows all the moves and the songs. He was pissed when CZJ got the role as Velma instead of him.

A source close to the couple said: "There's always been an attraction there. (Now) they're taking it to the next level."

Oh Vin! You don't need a reason to buy panties at Frederick's of Hollywood. We still won't believe it's for your "girlfriend".

[Hollywood.com]

What Do You Do When You're Coked Up at 3am?!



You get a tattoo!!!! Last week, Lindsay Blohan and new boy toy, Harry Morton, strolled into a West Hollywood tattoo parlor at 3am to get her 4th creation.

She already has the word "breathe" inked on her right wrist, a tiny star on her left wrist and the phrase "La Bella Vita" as a tramp stamp.

This time she got a small white heart on the space between her thumb and index finger. Harry got himself a cross tat somewhere on his body.

I just realized how lame this story is. Who cares? Ugh, I guess it's gonna be one of those news days.

[Page Six] [Photo: x17]

Harry Potter Wants to Have Sex with a Horse



Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, is set to play the role of Alan Strang in the West End revival of the Peter Shaffer play Equus. The role calls for Daniel, 17, to appear in the nude and get it on with his horse. Stage star Richard Griffiths (The History Boys) will appear opposite Daniel.

Daniel is looking to move himself away from the squeaky clean Harry Potter role into more adult roles.

I guess 17 is told enough to show your shit, but what's up with these kids getting nude for their art. I mean Dakota Fanning and now Harry Potter?

[BBC] [Thx Gabrielle]

It's Britney Spears!



Oh how I missed this piece of white trash. I'm glad she's alright. I was worried for a moment. I even scoured the DQs and Arby's in search for her. Looks like she's in Las Vegas with SPF and KFed. Apparently, they will be on there all weekend so be on the lookout.

Homegirl isn't too eager to change her image. Kimono and a leopard belt? Gwen Stefani she is not. She's more like a Haripoopoo girl. Give me a break, it's early!

[x17]

Brandon Davis Needs a Job



Brandon Davis should spend less time sunbathing with Nicky Hilton and more time actually doing something. Maybe if he did this his body wouldn't be so disgusting. It's not only his body, but he just looks like fugness is seeping out of his pores. Nicky isn't wearing oil, she's getting slimed on from laying too close to him.

That being said, I'm jealous.







Gisele Bundchen Has a Hot Body



Gisele Bundchen heated up a California beach the other day with her dynamite body. I love that word...dynamite. I don't think it's used enough. I'll give it to homegirl...she has a hot body as long as she keeps her annoying mouth shut. She needs a nose job too.







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