Just Married!!!

As expected, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock tied the knot today in St. Tropez. Doesn't it look like a classy affair?

The best quote came from maid of honor, Tamara Mellon (head of Jimmy Choo)

"She was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen – like a modern-day Brigitte Bardot."

Bitch probably has heat stroke!

The Photoshop Awards: Janet Jackson's Album Cover

No Matter What

Tara Reid at Cabana Club Anniversary in Hollywood on July 28, 2006

No matter what you do...Tara Reid cannot look like anything, but a beat-up, rode-hard hooker. I kind of feel bad for the girl, because Ajax has still not invented a formula strong enough to get her clean.

Somebody Lock This Nut Up!

Mel Gibson was arrested on suspicion of DUI yesterday and apparently during his arrest he went batshit and started yelling religious epithets. The L.A. Sheriff's office has also been trying to cover this part of the arrest up. TMZ has a copy of the police report which states that Mel was swearing like a mad man. Here's some lovely things he reportedly said:

• "My life is fucked"
• "You motherfucker! I'm going to fuck you!"
• "Fucking Jews! The Jews are responsible for all the Wars in the World. Are you a Jew?"

Officers at the scene and at the station say that Mel kept screaming about Jews and how he was going to fuck all of the officers.

Finally the truth comes out! Mel likes to fuck men and has been hiding it all these years. A little bit of the sauce brought out who he really is.

Seriously, I hope he suffers dearly for this shit. There are tons of top Jews in Hollywood that I'm sure aren't too happy about this.

Read more at TMZ

UPDATE - Mel issued an extremely lengthy apology which he so didn't right. He's probably still recovering from a terrible hangover. I accept your apology Mel.

TomKat's Secret Wedding

Tom Cruise's bitches have denied that a TomKat wedding is taking place this weekend. However, Kate Holmes' hairdresser, Oscar Blandi, has been booked all weekend sparking rumors that something is going on.

Sources are saying that a Scientologist ritual is going down and Katie's parents have not been invited, because of their strict Catholic beliefs.

A Scientologist ritual? That shit sounds scary! So, that's what Suri's being used for! They are going to drink her blood to make themselves more powerful!

[Page Six]

Is This Pamela Anderson's Wedding Outfit?

Pamela Anderson lounged on a yacht in St. Tropez with photographer David LaChapelle earlier today. Pam is due to marry Kid Rock in what could be an illegal wedding.

Love the hat, but homegirl is not sexy.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Carmen Sandiego

Birthday Sluts

Stephen Dorff (33)
Rachel Miner (26)
Wil Wheaton (34)
Martina McBride (40)
Leslie Easterbrook (57)

Orgasm-Yawn-Pain

Mischa Barton makes faces in between picking her teeth as she lunches with a friend in London.

A dead 1970s porn star called and wants her sunglasses back.

Vintage Celine Dion

Everyone has seen this clip of Celine Dion on Larry King speaking out about Hurricane Katrina, but I seriously had a dream about it last night. It's the most amazing piece of footage I have ever seen. The word "kayak" goes through my head every moment of life.

This clip alone is the reason why God put me on this Earth.

Cameron Diaz's Butt Eats Her Bikini Bottoms

My favorite geeky couple is at the beach again. Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake proved that they are still in love and probably annoying the beejeezus (love that word) out of each other by frolicking in the water with two kids.

I think Justin's ink has to be the ugliest tattoo ever.










[ONTD]

Afternoon Crumbs

Mel Gibson in Passion of the Sauce [TMZ]

Is Gayken going to follow in Lance Bass' footsteps? [SOW]

Mandy and Andy back at last? [Popsugar]

Brittany Murphy still has coke-face [Hollywood Tuna]

Victoria Silvstedt should take her orgasms indoors [IDLYITW]

Stephanie Seymour is old, but hot [Egotastic!]

Gwen Stefani has some ugly clothes [Just Jared]

TomKat to have a summer wedding my ass [Hollywood Rag]

Celebrity DNA for sale [Cityrag]

Kate Beckinsale and I have so much in common [Mollygood]

A Love Letter to Blohan

The letter above is from the CEO of Morgan Creek Pictures, the production company behind Georgia Rule which is currently shooting and stars Blohan herself. The letter states that everyone is sick of her ass and he threatens to sue her if she doesn't show up to work and on time. He also calls her out on her hard partying and blaming it on "heat exhaustion". Damn, this bitch is hot! He's taking fucking names.

Serves a bitch right! It's not hard to show up, go into an air-conditioned trailer, get pampered, memorize like two lines and then say them in the sun for like 30 minutes. Bitch doesn't know how good she has it.

[Thx eslove]

Methinks Nicole Richie's Latest Fashion Trend isn't Going to Take Off

*photos removed by request*

Nicole Richie singing karaoke at Guy's in L.A.

Visit People to see a pic

Who is Kinga?!

Yesterday, I asked all of you who the hell Kinga was?! The question has been answered and it explains everything!

She is known for infamously pleasuring herself with a wine bottle on last season's Big Brother UK. What is it about the UK that makes you want to screw yourself with an inanimate object?

Did Perez Hilton Out Lance Bass?

Lance Bass came out earlier this week to People Magazine confirming the gay rumors and also going public about his relationship to Reichen Lemkel. Access Hollywood asked Perez Hilton his take on helping to out Lance Bass.

Back in September 2005, Perez started posting about Lance possibly being gay. Over the next few months his coverage of the N'Sync member intensified when he broke the news that Lance was involved with Amazing Race winner, Reichen. Perez also had contests on what to the name the new couple and settled on, Princess Frosty Locks.

Perez defended his actions: "“I know there is some controversy about outing people, but I also believe the only way we're gonna have change is with visibility. And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will. I think that lot of celebrities have an archaic fear that being gay will hurt their career but look at Rosie. Look at Ellen."

I personally don't think Perez did anything wrong with writing about Lance. His readers should see it as speculation. I mean, there's only a few ways we would really know that Lance is gay. He could either straight up say it or he could get caught in the act. Yes, Perez might have added to the fire by constantly posting about it...but in the end I think it is Lance's choice.

That being said, I think that Perez's reason is a bunch of bullshit. Come on, I don't think this is about creating "visibilityty" and opening doors. How is forcing someone to deal with something that has probably been very painful, opening doors? This isn't about gay rights, it's about entertainment and gossip. Had Perez said "I'm just doing my job. I'm reporting what I'm told and what I think to believe is the truth", then ok...I buy that. Sometimes gossipers decide to take a more direct approach and sometimes (ala Ted Casablanca) they decide to not make it so obvious.

There's nothing wrong with what Perez did, however I think he's really fooling himself if he believes that it's about gay rights.

[Pic: PerezHilton]

Panty Creamer of the Day: David Beckham

David Beckham arrived for training in Austria on July 27, 2006

Theater Review: Haylie Duff in Hairspray

Last night, I was invited to attend Hairspray on Broadway which currently features Haylie Duff in the role of Amber Von Tussle. The role was played by Vitamin C in the movie version and will be played by Brittany Snow in the upcoming film version that is due for release next year.

Hairspray opened on Broadway on August 15, 2002 and quickly became an instant hit winning several Tony Awards and making a star out of Marissa Jaret Winokour. Since then everyone from Bruce Vilanch to Diana DeGarmo have appeared in the show.

The story is based on the 1988 cult-classic by John Waters. It follows Baltimore teenager, Tracy Turnblad, as she dreams of becoming a featured dancer on the Corny Collins show. The trouble is, bitch is fat. Tracy quickly gets her dreams crushed by the show's leading star, Amber, and her crazed stage-mom, Velma. Tracy eventually gets on the show and becomes an instant star. She uses her fame to break down doors for the blacks in Baltimore.

Haylie Duff as the beautiful girl isn't very believable. Ho is just as ugly in person as she is in pictures. I really thought bitch could pull it off...being the bitchy brat...but unforunately she fails hard. She can't sing very well, she is probably the worst dancer I've ever seen on Broadway and she has zero presence. However, she's the sole reason why I loved the show. Why? Because I love putting a bitch down! She's like a goldfish in a sea of sharks. You can tell everybody else is working overtime to try and keep this girl from falling flat on her face. Even the mounds of polyester hair and loads of make-up don't change the fact that she's a dog.

If you're like me and get pleasure out of seeing others fail than this is for you. And if you're not like me and love to "feel good" and shit than this is for you. The music is catchy and the entire production is filled with energy. Don't expect the movie, because this is nothing like it.

In the end, it made a stone-cold bitch like me crack a smile. And how can you not love a show that has Tevin Campbell?! I almost forgot about that ho!

Hairspray at the Neil Simon Theater currently stars Haylie Duff, Tevin Campbell, Darlene Love, Blake Hammond and Shannon Durig. Click here for tickets

Eva the Diva Goes Topless

America's Next Top Model 3 winner, Eva Pigford, shows off her breasts during this photoshoot. She does have nice ones, but it's a little sleazy. What am I saying?! She's a reality tv star for damn sakes! It totally looks like a porn DVD cover.


Click to see NSFW pics

[Concrete Loop] [Thx Curious Cherry]

Since When Does Maria Menounos Have a Penis?!

Vin Diesel has hired Maria Menounos to be his latest girlfriend. The two apparently are now an item after meeting when Maria interviewed him on her Access Hollywood show. The pair heated up rumors when Maria chose Vin as her date to see Rita Wilson make her Broadway debut in Chicago.

Hmm.....Maria would like us to think that Vin was HER DATE to a Broadway musical? More like the other way around. You know Vin knows all the moves and the songs. He was pissed when CZJ got the role as Velma instead of him.

A source close to the couple said: "There's always been an attraction there. (Now) they're taking it to the next level."

Oh Vin! You don't need a reason to buy panties at Frederick's of Hollywood. We still won't believe it's for your "girlfriend".

[Hollywood.com]

What Do You Do When You're Coked Up at 3am?!

You get a tattoo!!!! Last week, Lindsay Blohan and new boy toy, Harry Morton, strolled into a West Hollywood tattoo parlor at 3am to get her 4th creation.

She already has the word "breathe" inked on her right wrist, a tiny star on her left wrist and the phrase "La Bella Vita" as a tramp stamp.

This time she got a small white heart on the space between her thumb and index finger. Harry got himself a cross tat somewhere on his body.

I just realized how lame this story is. Who cares? Ugh, I guess it's gonna be one of those news days.

[Page Six] [Photo: x17]

Harry Potter Wants to Have Sex with a Horse

Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, is set to play the role of Alan Strang in the West End revival of the Peter Shaffer play Equus. The role calls for Daniel, 17, to appear in the nude and get it on with his horse. Stage star Richard Griffiths (The History Boys) will appear opposite Daniel.

Daniel is looking to move himself away from the squeaky clean Harry Potter role into more adult roles.

I guess 17 is told enough to show your shit, but what's up with these kids getting nude for their art. I mean Dakota Fanning and now Harry Potter?

[BBC] [Thx Gabrielle]

It's Britney Spears!

Oh how I missed this piece of white trash. I'm glad she's alright. I was worried for a moment. I even scoured the DQs and Arby's in search for her. Looks like she's in Las Vegas with SPF and KFed. Apparently, they will be on there all weekend so be on the lookout.

Homegirl isn't too eager to change her image. Kimono and a leopard belt? Gwen Stefani she is not. She's more like a Haripoopoo girl. Give me a break, it's early!

[x17]

Brandon Davis Needs a Job

Brandon Davis should spend less time sunbathing with Nicky Hilton and more time actually doing something. Maybe if he did this his body wouldn't be so disgusting. It's not only his body, but he just looks like fugness is seeping out of his pores. Nicky isn't wearing oil, she's getting slimed on from laying too close to him.

That being said, I'm jealous.

Gisele Bundchen Has a Hot Body

Gisele Bundchen heated up a California beach the other day with her dynamite body. I love that word...dynamite. I don't think it's used enough. I'll give it to homegirl...she has a hot body as long as she keeps her annoying mouth shut. She needs a nose job too.

Is Johnny Depp Still Hot or Just a Hot Mess?

Johnny Depp arrived at the Late Show with David Letterman on July 27, 2006

The Dlisted Report

Chris Cornell of Soundgarden has been chosen to sing the next Bond theme for Casino Royale. Cornell has written the song called You Know My Name which will be featured in the next Bond film starring Daniel Craig. The flick opens November 17, 2006. [Dark Horizons]

Elizabeth Mitchell (Gia, E.R.) will be a series regular on season 3 of Lost. She will play Juliet. Details about her role are being kept under wraps, but she is said to be a new love interest for Jack. [THR]

Oscar-nominated Amy Adams (Junebug) has joined Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in Charlie Wilson's War. The drama is about a rogue congressman and CIA operative who conspired to arm Afghan rebels against invading Soviet forces. Shooting begins this October in Morocco. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for July 27th!

Hey, that girl from the muppets finally opens her eyes - Tiffany

Runner-up:

Nabisco just introduced a new cookie:
The herpies filled Oreo! - bigbootyhoe

Hot Slut of the Day!

BryanBoy

Birthday Sluts

Elizabeth Berkley (34)
Sally Struthers (58)
Nicole Narain (32)
Lori Loughlin (42)
Jim Davis (61)

Even Colin Farell Smells Skank

The Miami Vice premiere was today in London and even Colin Farell could smell the nastiness of the British skanks. Several of them piled the Odeon in Leicester Square and probably a lot of them went home with Colin. I must say that he's looking mighty hot.



I used to have a fascination with Alicia Douvall, but now I'm over her ass. She makes Amanda Lepore look like a natural beauty. I think the hep virus sweats from her pores.





Caprice is another one...I mean is her skin made of wax? I have no idea who Tamara Beckweth, but even white lace doesn't take the whore out of you.



Nikki from Big Brother UK showed up to drive people mad. LibertyX must be wearing the cheapest dresses ever made. I mean those look like they were made from leftover fabric.



WTF is Kinga?!!! Is she like a wrestler? Girlfriend is large! Rebecca Loos also showed up. She's best known for being a slut and talking about it. She's the bitch that bonked Becks and blabbed.

The Big Brother Jackshack

I've always wondered how the hell the dudes on Big Brother go that many days without busting a load. Well these two videos provides the answers. They were shot about 10 days ago and captured Mike Boogie and Howie taking turns in the "jackshack". The JS is basically a box that houses the garden hoses and looks like it's also used to the house the hoses of the men of BB:All-Stars.

You can even hear Mike Boogie climax and then seem him leave the box with a ziplock bag full of cum and a bottle of lotion.

Ahhh...I love YouTube.

[Thx SOW]

Babs is a Beauty

Eeek! Somebody give me a broom! I need to kill this roach that is lurking around. It's hideous!!!!
Yes, that's funny girl herself Barbra Streisand surveying the construction on her L.A. home. It looks like she's doing the work herself!

Bitch charges bank for her dumb concert and she can't afford to look better than this crap?

[TMZ]

Afternoon Crumbs

Alert social services! Kerry Katona is knocked up [RTE]

Scarlett Johansson's Birthday lapdance [Egotatic!]

Jake, Matthew and Lance hook up again [Just Jared]

Celebrity babies will form a band one day [Mollygood]

Is Simon Cowell having an affair? [A Socialite's Life]

Clooney sits on a hog [Popsugar]

Blohan from the back [Hollywood Tuna]

The Halle Berry pregnant rumors heat up [IDLYITW]

Justin Timberlake has Lance's back [Hollywood Rag]

Since when was Prince even married? [People]

Britney is a Miserable Person

Jon LaLane was fired from his job as pool boy to Britney Spears and KFed. He has told InTouch Weekly that Britney is a miserable bitch and not nice at all. Jon was fired for talking too much and too often to her husband. Bitch was jealous.

Jon said: “She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, then looked at me like I was to blame.”

“She wants Kevin on a leash. She fires everybody. I figured, ‘Why not me?’ I just didn’t expect her to be so mean. It’s a revolving door there. She’s not the nice person everyone thinks she is.”

And this is a way old picture of B by the pool. Homegirl will never look like this again!

[The Scoop]

What a Dweeb!

KFed attempts to model for Five Star Vintage, but comes out looking like a Zoolander wannabe.


[Hollywood.com]

Bill Clinton Likes Dudes

Before I start...let me just say that Ann Coulter is one of the dumbest bitches in the World. I know I throw that term around lightly, but I really mean it. Her logic has been stuck up her ass long enough.

She told Donny Deutsch that she thinks Bill Clinton is most likely gay. What is her reasoning? Because he likes women so much. Does that make any sense? I know he likes women, but it's not like he likes Liza Minnelli and Barbara Streisand. He likes women that no self-respecting gay man would like...um Monica and Paula anyone?

"I think that sort of rampant promiscuity does show some level of latent homosexuality."

"There is something narcissistic about homosexuality. Right? Because you're in love with someone who looks like you."

Somebody please screw this broad with a broomstick. She is tighter than Candy Spelling's purse strings.

[NYDN] [Thx Marie]

Screech's Ten Inch Monster

Dustin Diamond aka Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell addressed the rumors about his ten-inch dick to Nerve.com. He kind of skipped around the issue, not really admitting it. I for one need to see it to believe it.

Do you have Screech stalkers?
I have Dustin Diamond stalkers. I have people who are fans of the show that show up — girls who have heard the legend of the D.

The eight-inch monster?
Eight?

Nine?
You didn't listen to that [Howard Stern] transcript did you?

Ten?
Yeah.

Ten inches. Okay, good.
I have girls showing up and saying, "Ruin me." One of them, I don't know if she had all of her teeth. I mean, most of them were there.

In case you might have forgotten, Screech also started a website asking for donations to save his house. If he has a ten-inch monster why doesn't he put it to good use and make some dough in porn? Hmm.....I'd still hit it.

[Thx Alexis]

Candy Spelling Speaks!!!

Candy Spelling's spokeswhore issued a statement for her in regards to Us Weekly's claims that Tori Spelling will only inherit a tiny fraction of her father's $500 million estate. The magazine said that Tori is receiving only $800,000.

"I know that based on what I know, the claims made by the magazine were ridiculous and inaccurate. That's all that can be said."

Yeah it's inaccurate alright. Tori isn't receiving $800,000, she's receiving zilch!

Even though Tori continues to deny that she's pregnant, several sources are adamant that she is indeed bringing a child into this world. How selfish of her...bringing a poor, innocent baby into poverty!

[Contact Music]

A Playmate for Suri

Fans of the sci-fi series, The X-Files, firmly believe that Gillian Anderson is pregnant with an alien. Gillian of course starred alongside David Duchovny in the series. She just announced that she was knocked up with her second child.

Fans have been sending her letters warning her that she's carrying an alien fetus.

A source close the actress said: "Gillian thinks it's hilarious. 'X-Files' ended years ago but her fans are still obsessed."

I think fans are looking at the wrong baby. They should focus their energy on finding out the secrets to the real alien baby, Suri Cruise.

[Tittle Tattle Too]

The Hoff Loves the Sauce

David Hasselhoff was blocked from boarding a British Airways flight from London for being a drunk. He showed up to the gate intoxicated and that's when crew members refused to let him on the flight due to FCC rules.

The Hoff who got drunk in the lounge at Heathrow didn't put up a fight and agreed with them. He told the staff that he's going through a hard time, because his divorce to Pamela Bach was finalized that same day.

The Hoff's spokeswhore said: "He was not drunk. He went to see a doctor who gave him some medication."

Medication? Sure...just like Blohan and "exhaustion".

Poor Hoff, I can kind of feel bad for him. He should watch this video below and it will totally brighten his day!!!



[TMZ]

Not Bad...But Still on the Mister Ed Side

So is Alanis Morissette single or what? I heard she dumped Ryan Reynolds. Anyway, she's not looking so bad as she attends The Hotel Roosevelt in Los Angeles last night. She still gives My Little Pony Parker and Sheryl Crow a run for their money in the horse-face category. Shit, those 3 bitches should compete in the Kentucky Derby! My money would be on Sheryl.

Justin Timberlake is a Drug Addict

Justin Timberlake has admitted that he has maintained his squeaky clean image of the past by keeping everything private. He admits that he has done lots of drugs in his life.

"I've done way too many drugs. I'm just like everyone else, I get completely plastered. I've done my fair share of drugs and I've been caught with my pants down. I just try and make sure there are no cameras around.

"I don't show up drunk to functions and the drugs I do have been in my own private time."

I think we know what joke is coming.....of course he needs to do a lot of drugs since he's waking up to pizza face every morning.

[Female First]

Xtina Looks Stoned

Xtina Aguilera looked sedated and mellow as she left The Ivy in Los Angeles on July 25th. She didn't crack a smile or wear her signature red lipstick. She kind of looks like she had an abortion. I'm sorry, I'm an awful person. Jesus will deal with me later, in the meantime....drink up!

See more pics of Xtina at x17

Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock to Marry Around the World

Pamela Anderson will become a wife for the second time to Kid Rock this Saturday in the South of France. The couple will then hold weddings in California, Tennessee and Michigan for their family and friends.

She spoke about her fiancee (referring to him as Bob) while promoting PamelaPoker.com in Las Vegas. She said:

"We had to do Malibu, we've got to do Detroit, and we've got to do Nashville. If Bob knew he was getting married five years ago in St. Tropez, he wouldn't have believed it."

The couple was first engaged in 2002 and then split up. They reunited in St. Tropez recently and then decided they would finally honor their promise.

So I have a question...since they are getting married like 4 times...does that mean they have to divorce 4 times? Because you know that's happening like in a month.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Brad Pitt has chosen his next project after shooting Ocean's 13. He will star in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Written by Eric Roth from a story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, the drama casts Pitt as a man who hits age 50 and begins aging backward. Complications ensue when he falls in love with a woman of 30. Shooting is expected to begin this Fall. [Variety]

Hilary Swank will star in a remake of the 2003 French thriller Labryinth. The psychological thriller revolves around a mental patient with multiple personalities who holds clues to the whereabouts of a serial killer. Swank will also produce. [Variety]

The original stars of the remake production of Chicago on Broadway will perform on November 14, 2006 for the show's 10th Anniversary. Bebe Neuwirth, Ann Reinking, Marcia Lewis, James Naughton and Joel Grey will all return. [Broadway.com]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for July 26th!

That's new...an asshole INSIDE a penis!! - Cuntina

Runner-Up:

The new Britney Spears at Madame Tussauds - Pebbles

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sue Simmons

Birthday Sluts

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (29)
Julian McMahon (38)
Alex Rodriguez (31)
Maya Rudolph (34)
Takashi Shimizu (34)
Maria Grazia Cucinotta (37)
Triple H (37)
Peggy Fleming (58)

Janet's Awful Video!!!

This video is a bigger shipwreck than Titanic. I'm not sure what they were exactly going for? Janet was like all "I'm thinking Crouching Tiger....I'm thinking Memoirs of a Geisha...I'm thinking the ocean and I'm thinking stupid dance moves and like Catwoman nails". Here's the video for Janet Jackon's Call on Me featuring Nelly.

Jada Pinkett Smith is Brainwashed

100 days have passed since Suri's birth and nobody has seen TomKat's alien spawn. Even members of Scientology claim they have never laid eyes on this creature. Jada Pinkett Smith told People Magazine that she has seen Suri and she's gorgeous.

"She's one of the sweetest babies I've ever met in my life. She's an absolute beauty and she's Daddy's little girl."

"She's beautiful and they're very happy and they need to be left alone. She's the cutest little baby. She's got a head full of black, beautiful hair."

Ok, Jada doesn't need the money because her husband, Will Smith, is loaded. Why on Earth would she lie, because you know homegirl didn't see shit. Maybe Tom has proof that Jada likes to lick the kitten and is blackmailing her. YES! That's it!

Who Would You Rather Do?

Brandon Davis or Scott Storch

Nick Lachey Can't Hate You Anymore

This is the new video and single off of his new album. I'm sure he's talking about Chestica, but deep down he still hates that plastic piece of trash.

[Thx Jonnyali]

Paris Hilton Quote of the Day!

"Every decade has an iconic blond like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I'm that icon."

[Thx Mikee]

Tori's Already Saving Her Pennies!

Tori is already pinching the wallet! Now that she's not going to be a gazillionaire, she's trying to find ways to save her dwindling fortune. You know she's headed to the Spearmint Rhino next.

I effin' love it!



[Us Weekly]

Blohan Gets Heated

Lindsay Blohan was rushed to the hospital after she suffered "heat exhaustion" while on the Los Angeles set of Georgia Rule. She was driven by private car to the hospital and was given a B-12 shot. She stayed several hours before being released.

Her spokeswhore claims that she filmed 12-hours straight in 110 degree heat yesterday.

I'm sure! Like she was really sitting in the heat for 12 hours. You know that ho was in her air-conditioned trailer doing rails and ODed! Dumb ass coke whore!

[KTLA]

Afternoon Crumbs

Nicole Richie dresses up for daddy, but ends up looking like his granny [Hollywood Rag]

Is Heath Ledger playing The Joker? [Celebrity Nation]

Uma Thurman has a hard time getting a date [Egotastic!]

Britney went into false labor, but it was probably just heartburn [Mollygood]

Jamie Lynn has a hot bf [OMG Blog]

Don't count on seeing Elisha Cuthbert nude [Hollywood Tuna]

This is the new leader of Culture Club [SOW]

Baffle the cat is really hot [Cityrag]

Courtney Cox Arquette plays tennis, yeah exciting [The Bastardly]

Vadge is really into toilet seats [IDLYITW]

Halle Berry knocked up? [Popsugar]

Chloe Sevigny is not the hipster poster child [Drunken Stepfather]

The Running with Scissors trailer [Popbytes]

Nicole Kidman in bruises [Just Jared]

The Waxed Shiloh Nouvel!!!

As promised, here is a photo of the waxed Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt which can be seen at Madame Tussauds in New York City.

Brad Pitt in wax is freaking me out!

[Photo credit: Startracks]

UPDATE - Here's some close-ups!

Parasite Hilton Blows Rod Stewart

Parasite Hilton's self-titled debut album is set to his stores this August. She will cover Rod Stewart's classic "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" Rod confessed that he allowed her to butcher his hit.

She said: "My producer and I were hanging out with Rod one night and it came on and we all thought it would be the perfect song for me to do."

And by "hanging out" you know what she means. Damn slut.

Notice in all the promo pictures for her album they cover up her wonky eye. I say the best way to cover it up is to punch the shit out of it.

[AHN]

The Wedding is Back On!

George Michael told a Britian radio station that the civil ceremony he is planning with Kenny Goss is still on. There were rumors that Kenny called off the ceremony after George was caught in a London park with a strange man. George also said that Kenny knows about his cruising and is fine with it.

He said: "I've got no issue with cruising. I've talked about it many times. It's never been an issue between us.

"We had a lovely tenth anniversary party. My present to him was a million quid so I think I should get away with so-called fooling around with 'Bernard Manning'. I've no idea who that guy was but thank-you very much, whoever he was."

"We knew with all the rubbish between us that we couldn't get a private wedding, so we have postponed it.

"I don't want people to think my life is troubled when it's not. I'm a man who has been successful for 25 years."

He isn't apologizing for his actions, but still didn't admit that he had any relations with that man.

"There can't be shame unless the people involved are ashamed and I'm certainly not that."

He's right, it's between the two of them...but if he's so successful can't he afford a Motel 6? Better yet, a hooker that is actually hot. Oh and now I know why Kenny puts up with that shit...$1 million y'all!

[Female First]

Eastern European Prostitute or Julia Stiles?

At the Hugo Boss Roof Party in NYC on July 25, 2006

Hmm...I'm not sure....

The Best News Ever!

Tori Spelling is getting what she deserves. Apparently, things are getting seriously ugly and Candy Spelling has cut her only daughter out of Aaron Spelling's will. Aaron's estate is said to be worth almost $500 million and Tori is only receiving 0.16% of that. That mean she's only getting $200k plus $600k she has in investments.

A source said: "“I believe Candy had a lot to do with what was left for Tori."

Candy is sole executor of the will.

AHAHAHHA! That's what this damn piece of ugly deserves! Hopefully she will take that money and retire to like Greenland where we will never have to hear from her ass again!!!

[Us Weekly]

SPF Needs Trimspa, Baby!

What the hell is Britney Spears feeding SPF!? I'm thinking Red Bull and Cheeto pudding in the morning and Pizza the rest of the day and butter-juice for a midnight snack. Seriously, dude is putting on the chunk. Yes I know babies are fat...blah..blah.blah...but damn!!!

Oh and that's not Britney, it's Jamie Lynn. Is she holding a penis pop?

[A Socialite's Life]

Big Duh of the Day!

Lance Bass has come out of the closet. Was that even necessary? I mean everyone already knew.

He told People:

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything."

"I didn'’t know: Could that be the end of ’N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, '‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did." "The thing is, I'm not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say," he explains of his decision to come out.

"I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life. I'm just happy." As for why he's talking about this now Bass says, "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

Lance is currently dating Amazing Race winner, Reichen Lehmkuhl, and is very happy.

Ok, I'm happy for him and everything and he's opening doors for us fags...but what the hell is Reichen doing with that?! Seriously, Lance is straight-up fug.

Fired For This?!!!?

This is old news, but I haven't put in my two cents about it. PBS performer, Melanie Martinez, was fired by the network for making some stupid video promoting anal sex. Melanie hosted the show The Good Night Show which is aimed at kids.

Melanie made the two parody "Technical Virgin" videos before getting her job on PBS.

The network President issued this statement:

"PBS Kids Sprout has determined that the dialogue in this video is inappropriate for her role as a preschool program host and may undermine her character's credibility with our audience."

Give me a break! She's right! Japanese girls have been doing this forever. She's just giving the facts to teenagers. I wish I had this information when I was younger. Actually I did and that's probably why I can't shit right.

Seriously, I'm sure lots of the old, dirty men on that network have done a lot worse. PBS needs to get over it.

[PDN] [Thx Jennifer]

The Kate Bosworth Doll

Orlando Bloom has blasted rumors that his relationship to Kate Bosworth is on the rocks. He admits that they haven't seen much of each other since both are traveling around the World to promote their prospective movies. Orlando has found a cure to help him cope with missing Kate. He carries around a Lois Lane doll modeled after Kate. This makes him feel better.

WTF?! In his defense the doll is the actual size of Kate, so it does make sense.

You know he does it in the mouth. Shit, it's probably the best sex he's ever had!!! Ok, I'll stop.



[Tittle Tattle Too]

Nicole Kidman in a Bikini

Nicole Kidman is definitely not carrying anything in her belly. I'm talking about a baby, but it looks like she's not carrying food either. These are some older pics that you might have already seen of Nicole and Keith Urban's honeymoon in Bora Bora last month.

What SPF does this bitch use? 1,035?!

Chanel. McDonald's. Skull

Who's fake boobs are these?


Find out after the jump!

Shiloh Nouvel Gets Waxed

The NYC branch of Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum has created a figure of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. This is the museum's first child. The offspring of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's statue will be unveiled today and I will have pictures for you later.

This is my thinking...the museum was asked by Tom Cruise to create a fake Suri Cruise so he can carry that shit around, but he didn't like the job so they just added some lips and voila! I mean all babies look the same.

[LSE]

You Have the Chance...Bite Her!!!

Eva LongWHORIA is just like Jessica Alba in thinking that she's so hot that even dolphins want to get with her. While on vacation with boyfriend, Tony Parker, the pair visited some dolphins and Eva swears they were vying for her attention which made her bf jealous.

A friend said: "I think her boyfriend got jealous with the dolphin so he jumped in to get a kiss off Eva."

I guess she loved them so much, because earlier this week she visited her new friends at Sea World in San Diego. If I knew how to speak dolphin I would have alerted him to bite her ass. I mean he was right there! Didn't Flipper understand some kind of weird whistle-talk? I seriously need to learn dolphin-talk. Do they teach that at the learning annex?

[AHN] [Photo: x17]

Perfect Casting

TMZ is reporting that Nicolas Cage is set to play Liberace in a biopic of the legendary singer's life. Nicolas is producing the project himself and his already hired a team of writers to bring the gold lame' queen's life to the silver screen. He is also meeting with directors. No studio is attached.

I think this is actually perfect casting. Nic just really wants to trade in his hot cream leather jacket for some sequins and satin. He honestly probably wears shit like that in the bedroom for his child bride. He plays Liberace and she plays the vibrator and toe fucks him.

The Dlisted Report

Scrubs creator, Bill Lawrence, has been hired to write and direct the prequel to the 80s franchise hit Fletch. Lawrence will adapt Gregory Mcdonald's 1985 comic-mystery novel "Fletch Won," which follows the irreverent detective Irwin Fletcher from his early days as a junior newspaper reporter at the Chicago News-Tribune, to his partnership with a crime reporter to solve a murder. Shooting begins in April and Zach Braff is currently in talks for the title role. [Dark Horizons]

Chris Klein, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jamie-Lynn Sigler are all in talks to star in New York City Serenade. The Manhattan-based comedy is set in the mid-1990s and revolves around two close friends who realize that sometimes to keep a friend you have to grow up and grow apart. [THR]

Wayne Brady will play the cowardly lion and David Alan Grier will play the title role in the revival of The Wiz at the La Jolla Playhouse in Southern California. The show is set to open on October 8, 2006 and play a limited run until November. It is expected to transfer to Broadway next year. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for July 25th!

It's Official: Britney Spears' is the new face of Ben & Jerry's - fox

Runner-up:

Since when do you need Blue Braclets to eat Ice Cream? When your out on Loan from the zoo? -ohmy

[Thx Andrew]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dee Dee Bridgewater

Birthday Sluts

Jeremy Piven (41)
Tamyra Gray (27)
Kate Beckinsale (33)
Sandra Bullock (42)
Kevin Spacey (47)
Dorothy Hamill (50)
Helen Mirren (61)
Mick Jagger (63)

King Maddox Gets Taken to Lunch!

Brangelina took their favorite child, Maddox, out to lunch and for a walk on the beach in Malibu. Angelina is already back to her normal weight after giving birth. They are so perfect I could barf. I bet you the sex sucks. They make us believe they have hot screwing, but you know Brad can't get it up and Angie is dry.

I like seeing Maddox though. He has a glimmer in his eyes. He's up to something that little minx! Oh and Angelina totally has stock in Cheer Dark.









[x17]

Justin Timberlake's Full "SexyBack" Video

Watch it while you can!

[Thx Jonnyali]

Mo'Nique is Pissed!

One of my favorite people in the World, Mo'Nique, is fighting mad after she was thrown off a United Airlines flight on Sunday. She was headed to NYC with her crew to be a guest host on The View.

According to Mo'Nique, a flight attendant approached her and addressed her in a rude and unprofessional manner. "The flight attendant comes up to me and says, 'Listen, you need to let your people know ... if they don't straighten out their attitude I'll have them thrown off this flight,'" she said from her hometown of Baltimore this morning. "And I said, 'No, you're not gonna speak to me like that. You're not gonna be rude and disrespectful.' [He said,] 'Well, you know what, I'll have you thrown off, too.' He snapped his fingers and walked away."

She says that the flight attendants were upset that a member of her support team -- who was sitting in coach -- put Mo'Nique's hairdryer in first class where the star was sitting. After she voluntarily got off the plane, a United employee told her that since 9/11, they don't take threats lightly.

"If I am such a threat," Mo'Nique points out, "why am I not being taken out of the airport? Why are you trying to get me on any flight if I posed a terrorist threat? That's not making sense to me."

"They felt it was okay to mistreat me and pull me out of my seat, simply because I would not allow them to be disrespectful," Mo'Nique says. "I'm angry, I'm in shock. It was incredibly humiliating and embarrassing for me. Police were everywhere."

United Airlines later issues this statement in response to Mo'Nique allegations.

"The safety of all of our passengers and our crew is our top priority, and that we regret that Ms. Imes felt in any way that she was not treated with courtesy and respect. When a situation occurs on a flight that causes a delay, or disruption, we must act in the best interest of all of our customers. It was determined that the best course of action was to accommodate Ms. Imes on a later flight."

You better not mess with her ass! She will cut your shit. Seriously, why did she bring the hairdryer with her? They don't have that in NYC? Why didn't she check it in. I'm not into disrespecting this bitch, but seriously I can kind of see the airlines point. Oh damn, I shouldn't that. I still love you MoMo!

[ET Online]

Who is Hotter?

Hil or the pooch?

"Lost" Gets New Man Meat

Latin hunk Rodrigo Santoro will joint the cast of Lost for season 3. Rodrigo has been dubbed the Brazilian Tom Cruise. I'm not sure that's a compliment. Producers are mum on his role on the show, but had this to say:

"We don't really want to be at all specific about what we're doing with the character or what he's going to play. Part of the surprise and the enjoyment of watching the show is sort of getting a chance to meet a new character and see how his role is going to unfold in relation to the rest of the cast."

It's funny how people keep ending up on that deserted island. Lost is totally like Gilligan's Island. Remember how people would just show up? I mean, couldn't those people rescue them.

This ho is hot shit, though. He probably fills the "Latin stud" void left by Michelle Rodriguez. I bet you her dick is bigger than his.

[Film Fodder]

Afternoon Crumbs

Did Fergie get dumped? [Just Jared]

The top 10 groundbreaking videos of all-time [Hollywood Rag]

Scarlett Johansson is into Reebok [IDLYITW]

Jeremy Piven's birthday party was really weird [Egotastic!]

Jessica Alba, a bikini and a dog [Hollywood Tuna]

DJ Qualls is quite the ladies man [BWE]

Michelle Pfeiffer is still gorgeous [Popbytes]

Anna Paquin can open your beer bottle [The Bastardly]

Nick and Vanessa show love in NYC [Popsugar]

Blohan's cat ways [Cityrag]

The Boob Belt

Looks like Jodie Marsh started a trend with the whole boob belt thing. Keira Knightley rocked one while shopping in London a few days ago. I think you need boobs in order to work a boob belt though. That dude wants to be Orlando Bloom so bad.

The Low-Rent Pussycat Dolls

Believe it or not, but a low-rent version of the Pussycat Dolls does exist. Danity Kane is Diddy's latest manufactured pop tragedy. They are already reality stars having won their roles in the group on MTV's Making the Band. Here they are performing in Brooklyn the other night.

I'm not sure what's more tragic...their outfits or their band name?

But It's Our Culture, Kenny!

Kenny Goss has called off his upcoming wedding to George Michael. The two have been together for 10-years and were planning to celebrate by throwing a lavish wedding in England. The reason being that George was caught in the bushes of a London park with a man that wasn't Kenny. George denied that he did anything with the man and told the reporter that he was "gay and it's in his culture."

A source close to the couple said: 'They are reassessing their relationship at the moment so there are no immediate plans. Things are very much up in the air,'


[ThisisLondon] [Thx April]

Janet Jackson Has No Idea If She's Becoming Mrs. Troll

In an interview with Britian's Choice FM Radio, Janet Jackson was extremely vague on her engagement and wedding to Jermaine "Troll" Dupree. Here's how the conversation went down:

DJ: "You guys are getting married …"

JJ: "That's what he said. He, um … that's … everyone's been asking me about this. He said something about September 26th we were getting married."

DJ: "What are you saying?"

JJ: "That's the date the album comes out! September 26th."

DJ: "Are you engaged?"

JJ: "That's what he said! So if … I don't know. You know … Everyone's been asking me about it. And if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. Why is everyone just staring at me? It's really quiet in here. It's too quiet in here."

What the hell is wrong with the Jacksons?! Do they just have crazy and dim running through their veins? I see what she's trying to do, but she's not doing it right. All you have to say is "Bitch, I am not answering your stupid questions!"

Furthermore, I know lots of you think she's hotter than a Paris Hilton vag wart...but homegirl has been looking beat up lately. Her face is a little downsey. She can totally play Corky in a film version of Life Goes On.

Gay Al Visits a Divorce Lawyer

The fairy tale (and by fairy I mean Gay Al) of Star Jones and Al Reynolds may be coming to an end very soon. Gay Al was recently spotted visiting a very high-profile divorce lawyer in Manhattan.

Last week Al Reynolds visited the offices of the divorce law firm Blank Rome LLP in New York's Chrysler building. MediaTakeOut.com spoke exclusively with a building employee who first noticed Star's soon-to-be-ex. According to the witness, "Al walked up to the security desk and signed in to visit [one of the Blank Rome's divorce lawyers] Stanford Lotwin."

Mr. Lotwin is one of the most prominent divorce attorney's in New York. He worked on the high-profile divorces of Howard Stern, Donald Trump, Geraldo Rivera and Diana Ross.

After remaining upstairs for nearly two hours, Al tried to quietly sneak out of the building. But before he could leave, the witness tells MediaTakeOut.com, "I walked up to him and said 'Al, is that you', and Al ran out of the building - almost knocking over a pregnant woman."

Both Gay Al and the divorce lawyers have denied any of this is true.

I've said time and time again this isn't how it's gonna go down! Gay Al is supposed to get caught taking it like a squealing pig by a leather daddy at the rambles in Central Park. Seriously, when will the media figure this out?

[MediaTakeout]

Nat Needs to Worry Less About Paps and More About Her Hair

An orange-haired Natalie Portman went all Sienna-Miller on paparazzi in Argentina. Natalie is apparently visiting on-and-off again boyfriend, Gael Garcia Bernal.

Bitch looks straight up ugly. I hope they have Supercuts or something in Argentina because she needs the works.

[ONTD]

I Wonder How Much She's Getting Paid

Matthew McConagay received a massage from a mystery woman in Malibu. Matthew is currently spending his days on the beach and receiving attention from this beard. She looks like an escort to me. I bet you her purse contains pills, coke, hundred dollar bills, condoms and a rabbit.

Ewww and you know this chick got his dude gunk all over her. He looks like he hasn't bathed in years.








[x17]

Somebody Get This Chick a Straight Jacket

Dessarae Bradford is today's Divine Brown. Remember that ho? I loved her...anyway Dessarae is now suing Colin Farrell for stalking her ass. This is after the fact she stormed Colin's Jay Leno apperance. Her craziness was later edited and never aired.

Dessarae Bradford, 31, held a press conference in front of the L.A. federal courthouse yesterday announcing she’s filed another lawsuit against Colin Farrell, the New York Daily News reports.

“Not only am I suing him for slander but for stalking,” she told reporters. “He says I’m a stalker, that I am there to get back at him. I am not anyone’s stalker. I’m too self-absorbed to be a stalker.” (Nevertheless, a court just ordered that she not come within 150 yards of the actor.)

As she handed out copies of her self-published book, Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy, she explained last week’s Tonight Show ambush, saying: “My whole purpose was to get Colin Farrell served properly. … I was intending to be a mini-diversion while my private investigator went up and served him. I never expected Jay Leno’s security to step aside. They parted for me like the Red Sea.”

Bradford’s lawsuit against Farrell from last year — in which she asked for $4,750 in damages for “breach of contract, return of erotic tape and art, cost of dress, shoes and accessories” — was tossed out of court.

Why doesn't Dess do what every other crazy celeb-stalking ho has done and get herself on a reality show. I mean....have some self-respect!

[Us Weekly]

Peter Coked Up Apologizes

Christie Brinkley's soon-to-be ex husband, Peter Cook, has apologized publically for his year-long affair with 19-year-old Diana Bianchi.

"I love my wife. I have loved her since the day I met her. Please … I love her," Cook told New York Post columnist Cindy Adams via his lawyer, Norman Sheresky. "For a lifetime, I've tried to prove how much I love her. This is an aberration. I'm sorry. I'm contrite. I'm stupid. Foolish. No excuse."

Asked about divorce plans, Sheresky said, "There is no divorce proceeding that is proceeding. Christie Brinkley has not sued her husband." Cook, he said, "hopes there's no divorce. If she wants one – and he certainly hopes this doesn't happen, but if – it will not be nasty. She can have whatever she wants."

On July 12 Brinkley, 52, announced her separation from Cook after 10 years of marriage.

Please, this is the best thing that has ever happened to her career. He shouldn't apologize! She should be thanking. Ho is gonna get contracts and sympathy left and right!

[People]

Keep the Sunglass On

Victoria Silvstedt is permanently on vacation. It seems that for the past months she's only been photographed at the beach or on a yacht or something. I seriously need to get myself a sugar daddy. Anyway, she made the unfortunate choice of taking off her sunnies in public. She totally looks like Linda Hamilton and that isn't a compliment.

She also has a serious case of cankles.

This is All Jordache Could Afford

Elizabeth Hurley has replaced Brittany Murphy as the new ass of Jordache jeans. Elizabeth is specifically promoting Jordache Vintage jeans line which you can buy at your local Wal-Mart.

This statement was issued: "“We are thrilled to be working with Elizabeth Hurley."

"“With success as an actress, model, business woman and mother, Liz represents everything the Jordache brand is about. We chose her because she is the true modern woman."

Basically, they are saying this is all they could afford. That horse in the picture made more money than her I think.

Agent Scully is Knocked Up!

X-Files star, Gillian Anderson, is knocked up with her second child. Gillian already has a daughter, Piper, with some Canadian dude named Clyde Klotz.

Her spokeswhore released this statement: "She is happy to announce that she is expecting her second child, due at the end of the year, with businessman Mark Griffiths."

Gillian, 37, separated from Julian Ozone last April.

Shouldn't ladies that are carrying be all glowy and shit? Why the hell does she look like Courtney Love then?

[People]

Homegirl Works Fast!

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro recently announced their split and she's already moving on. Carmen was spotted at a Gnarls Barkley concert in Hollywood with Jamie Foxx. Witnesses say that they entered the joint together and stuck by each other's side all night.

A source said: "Jamie's arm was around Carmen more than once and whispers were exchanged several times. No one saw them kissing, but they left together out the back. It seemed like they were out on a date."

Upgrade! Seriously, Jamie is way hotter than that mess of a husband she has. However, Jamie can do better. Carmen almost looks as diseased as Pamela Anderson. I said almost.

[Page Six]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for July 24!

I bet that door is pissed! - ohmy

Runner-up:

"Herpes: Fully Loaded" - Drug Laydee

The Dlisted Report

Guy Ritchie will direct and rewrite the gangster odyessey Static for Columbia Pictures. The story centers on a wrongly imprisoned gangster who, with the help of his loyal posse, must make his way across town through crooked cops and rival gangs in order to testify against the dirty cops who put him away. Ritchie last directed Revolver which flopped at theaters. [THR]

Scarlett Johansson will play Mary Boleyn opposite Natalie Portman and Eric Bana in The Other Boleyn Girl. The story centers on two ferociously ambitious sisters, Mary and Anne Boleyn, who were rivals for the bed and heart of King Henry VIII. Portman and Johansson will star as the sisters, with Bana playing the King. Shooting begins this Fall in London. [Variety]

Lake Bell, Paul Rudd and Eva Longoria will star in How I Met My Boyfriend's Dead Fiance. The film is about female psychic (Bell) who falls in love with a skeptic (Rudd) while the ghost of his dead fiance, played by Longoria, tries to keep them apart. Shooting begins in August in Los Angeles. [Variety]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sarah Douglas

Birthday Sluts

Estelle Getty (82)
Brad Renfro (24)
Tera Patrick (30)
Matt LeBlanc (39)
Illeana Douglas (41)
Iman (51)

Is It Just Me or Is Dakota Fanning a Little Too Young for a Rape Scene?

I know 12-year-old Dakota Fanning wants to be like the next Meryl Streep and a serious actress and shit, but is she ready for a rape scene? Apparently, Dakota has already shot a violent sexual scene in a movie called Houndog. The rape scene isn't the only thing disturbing in the film. Dakota's character appears several times only wearing panties.

Houndog is produced by Robin Wright Penn and is about a troubled girl who finds solace in the music of Elvis Presley.

Because of the controversial nature of the film several backers backed out leaving shooting North Carolina to be halted. However, producers found emergency investors and filming resumed and completed last weekend.

A source said: "The two taboos in Hollywood are child abuse and the killing of animals. In this movie, both things happen."

Um....does she want an Oscar that bad? Seriously, this ho is only 12-years-old! What is wrong with her parents?! She's gonna be topless?! Does she even have a top. Poor Dakota...homegirl is gonna end up in Penthouse and doing crack by the age of 17...I just know it. I still think she's an alien.

[AHN]

Note to Star Jones: Cover That Nasty Scar Up!

Star Jones at the 8th Annual Hollyrod Design Cure on July 22, 2006

I know it's hot outside and shit, but it should be illegal for Star Jones to show that nasty ass scar. I mean how can people eat around that? Seriously, invest in a turtle neck! V-necks are not for you, Star. You know her fag husband wears enough turtlenecks that I'm sure she he can lend her one.

Not to mention, her mug. I expect Star to get really bad work done. Since she's not on TV anymore, she can't get freek work from good doctors so she's gonna get some cheap shit done and lots of it. Start with the scar, Star.

Wild Hogs

John Travolta killed several fish and other sea creatures as he skinny dipped while eating a chocolate in a scene from his movie Wild Hogs which is shooting in New Mexico. Seriously, Peta needs to get on this!

[Us Weekly]

Tara Reid Makes Young Boy Go Blind

Click if you dare...

Proof That Weed Messes Up Your Brains

Matthew McConagay is one weird mofo. He's been loving the beach lately. Fun in the sun wasn't enough to keep him out of a sour mood as he tried to snatch a paparazzi's camera. After he was done with that he decided to do some yoga on the sand. WTF is wrong with him?

A few days later he splashed around with his surfboard. I still want him more than Bobbi Kristina Brown wants an ecstasy pill, but he's been looking like a real jackass lately.

I mean he's probably that kind of dude that just won't stop calling you to talk about like how his plants are so green and how that piece of Wonderbread he's eating tastes so rich. Who am I fooling I'd still lick the cheese off his man area.















[Splash] [x17]

Hot Slut of the Month: Parker Posey!

I'm totally behind on this, but Parker Posey barely beat out Anna Wintour by 33% for Hot Slut of June! Parker is seriously hot shit and kind of nuts. Whenever I see her and I'm walking my dog she makes a point to completely ignore me, yet have a conversation with my dog. She's totally the new dog whisperer.

Thanks to all who voted!

Still Not Sexy in the Back or Front

Here's a sneak peek of the new Justin Timberlake video for that heinous song SexyBack. We've seen it all before. I'm not lying, I'd still let him tap it. He'd have to keep his mouth shut though, because he's annoying.

You Know You Want This!

Nothing says sex-kitten like white leather and greasy hair. Nicolas Cage had men and women swooning alike as he attended ComicCon to promote that shitty flick Ghost Rider. This man is going through a terrible mid-life crisis isn't he? Seriously, I don't think Blohan would even hit that. Well, if he was holding she would.

The Best Vadge Has Ever Looked!!

What is She Doing with a Mic?

Bai Ling attended some Vh1 event last week. At first I thought it was a Pirates of the Caribbean party and in that case she would be Pirates of the Carabeingugly. Bad joke.

Anyway, who gave that girl a mic? She should be banned from singing in public for life. Damn, even for singing in private!

In case you forgot, she was a contestant on But Can They Sing? A show that showcased her talent for revealing outfits and shoving her Asian cooch in front of everyone's faces. Oh and it also showcased that she has a voice like a dead parrot. Let me refresh your memory.

Bai Ling "Call Me"

Jordan Quote of the Day!

"I'm having Botox under my arms this week. It's not because I've got body odor problem but sometimes you might get a wet patch there and this is supposed to prevent it."

Afternoon Crumbs

Don't hate, Posh is hot shit [Hollywood Rag]

Orlando Bloom is too tired to cheat [IDLYITW]

Kate Beckinsale has huge holes [The Bastardly]

Hugh Jackman's jeans not genes sell for $22k [BWE]

Dessarae Bradford is nuts [Mollygood]

Can Chestica Simpson ever keep her mouth closed? [Egotastic!]

I miss KFed actually [Popsugar]

Your Wentworth Miller fix [Just Jared]

Mimi should've kept those shorties in 1989 [Hollywood Tuna]

George Michael Tapped This!

Don't be jealous. This dude could be yours too. All you have to do is hang out in a London park and he'll come by and lick you and down to completion. Sick! George Michael did this exact act and got caught limp-dick handed!

News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver.

When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed: "I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!"

When confronted by our team, a shaken George desperately tried to justify his sordid secret quest for cheap, risky thrills, which friends fear is spiralling out of control and threatening his destruction.

In a sweat, the ashen-faced singer declared: "Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!"

Then he claimed: "I'm not doing anything illegal. The police don't even come up here any more.

"I'm a free man, I can do whatever I want. I'm not harming anyone."

What the hell kind of culture calls you to have anonymous sex with just about anyone? Does Paris Hilton have some new cult that I haven't heard of?

George does have a boyfriend too named Kenny Goss. Kenny issued this statement:

"This is behind us.

Advertisement

"That's everything we are going to say on the subject. We're getting on with the rest of our lives."

George denies that he did anything with the man and the man said they just kissed and touched each other.

[The Mirror]

Another No-Talent Ho Tries to Sing

Nicole Richie is writing songs and recording them. Why?

She's apparently extremely musical since she's related (not by blood) to Lionel Richie. She's writing songs about her life right now. So, basically a bunch of songs about shopping and not eating?

She said: "Right now I'm just writing and recording. The way that a record goes, you sing up to 20 or 30 songs and then pick your favorite 10. I'm about six songs in."

"The songs are about what's going on in my life, growing up and becoming a woman. They are about realizing what's great and what's so wonderful about life and being on this earth and living the way that I live."

Her arch rival, Paris Hilton's album hits stores this August and her single "Stars are Blind" is expected to be a huge Worldwide hit.

Nicole needs to do something else. No matter what she's going to be compared to that piece of trash.

[Tittle Tattle]

Anna Nicole Smith is My Kind of Girl

Anna Nicole Smith's former manager spilled the beans on the fat piece of hot trash by depicting her as a booze-guzzling, pill-popping maniac. He said in an interview that Anna loves the sauce.

Eric Redding said: "She could drink three or four bottles of champagne by herself in, like, a three hour period."

He also said that she has been addicted to 12 medications at one time.

Hopefully this ho has cleaned herself up since she's expecting a baby. I never really liked her before, but hearing that she can clear 4 bottles of champagne is kind of hot. And you know she's guzzling the cheap trash like Boones Farms. I know it's not champagne, but you know this chick thinks it's like really elegant.

[Female First]

Parasite Hilton's Virus Spreads

Paris Hilton promoting her single in Palma de Mallorca

Not only is Parasite Hilton spreading diseases with her vagina, she's also spreading diseases electronically. Someone has hacked into Lindsay Blohan's blackberry and have e-mailed all her contacts with vicious and disgusting emails. Friends of Blohan believe that Parasite has something to do with it.

A source said: "Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar."

RUMOR! What does this bitch know about hacking? She probably thinks hacking means getting throat fucked until you vomit all over the dick.

[PC Advisor]

Behold, I've Returned!

I have returned from my Greek holiday!!! Greece is really hot and I saw lots of hot and nasty nude bitches! I'm all about getting nude and showing your shit, but you won't find me doing that shit! Hell no, think of all the crabs!

Anyway, I'm getting a late start today, but planning to fill this thing up today. Thanks again for putting up with me as I frolick and recharge my bitchiness. I appreciate all of you for sticking with my ass. And thanks again to my guest bloggers who did their shit and did it hot!

Thanks to:

Celebrity Nation
Crunk + Disorderly
Distressed Jeans of the Conversation Blogs
Gabsmash
Lahoma00
OMG Blog
The People We Love to Hate
Popbytes
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Smart
Tabloid Whore

Dlisted is also going through a redesign which will debut hopefully in the next couple of weeks. So thanks again for sticking around! Now, let's go to bashing Paris Hilton. Damn, I hate that ho. I even heard that nasty song on some little island in Greece! There's no stopping her skankiness!!!!

xoxoxoMichael K

Hot Slut of the Week: Nancy Reagan

Age: 85
Birthday: July 6, 1921
Birth Name: Nancy Davis

Original Date of HSL of the Day: July 21, 2006

Claim to Fame: Actress turned First Lady of the United States of America!

Where is she now? Running a train on the Dallas Cowboy football team. Just kidding, she's drinking tea somewhere.

Why is she HSL of the Week? The outfits! The hair! The 80s memories!

Jodie Foster Banged Kim Basinger?!?

WTF?! I knew Jodie Foster liked to go clam diving, but Kim Basinger? According to this fax sent by David Hockney, John Waters witnessed Jodie and Kim on a romantic date. The fax said:

"JOHN WATERS TOLD ME LAST NIGHT HE WENT OUT LAST SUNDAY WITH JODIE FOSTER & HER "DATE" KIM BASSINGER TO DYKE NIGHT A[T] PALLETTE, AND THEY WERE/ARE DEFINATALLY "TOGETHER". Poor KELLY McGILLIS IS HEARTBROKEN!"

This is almost as good as the rumor that Rosie O'Donnell snogged Reba McEntire. If this rumor isn't true, it will probably come true. I mean screwing Alec Baldwin for that long has to turn your ass into muffin chomping.

[Cityrag]

Blade Runner Meets Memoirs of a Geisha Meets Mess!

Janet Jackson is off shooting her video off her first single Call on Me directed by Hype Williams. Her album 20 years Old is set to drop in September. Who knows what this video is about. Whatever it's about, it's a wreck! Let's hope it about the sinking of Titanic, because this is a huge shipwreck!

In doing promotion for her album, she has talked about wanting kids.

She said: "I would love to have kids,"

"I never thought I would ever want any. But being with Jermaine really changed my mind on all that. I don't mind adopting."

Is it possible for someone that doesn't have any ribs left to carry a baby?

Panty Creamer of the Day: Becks in White Speedos!

What a Fag!

Leonardo DiCaprio loves him some Madonna. What a fat fag! No wonder Gisele dumped his ass! Anyway, he was at one of her concert's at Madison Square Garden in NYC when he came to the aid of a crippled bitch. The dude in the wheelchair had purchased front row seats to the show, but when her hagness came out everyone rushed in front of him and he now had a view of the back head's of old fags. So Leonardo being the nice dude he is helped him out.

A source said: “He couldn’t see anything because people were all standing around him,”

“He tried to move to the front, but no one would budge, and nobody cared. Then the security guard came over and was being rude and told him to move.”

Leo asked the guy if he wanted to sit in his section. He wheeled the ho over there and now they are dating and expecting a kid this Christmas.

[Us Weekly]

Linda Evans Gets Screwed By a Turkey Baster

Linda Evangelista (I call her Linda Evans) has gotten knocked up and have some wondering how on Earth this could happen? She currently doesn't have a man in her life and previously had a miscarriage in 1999. Rumors are that she effed a turkey baster and got knocked up. Her spokeswhore finds this disgusting.

"No comment - I am speechless at your question."

Ho should be happy that she's even in the press. She's hot though.


[Page Six]

Miss Universe is a Stupid Piece of Trash

Miss Puerto Rico became Miss Universe last night after sucking dick beating Miss Japan. Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza decided to go for gold and pass out minutes after being crowned.

"She's okay. She's fine," pageant representative Lark Anton told Reuters. "She got dizzy. It's very hot up here. Her dress is tight – as you could see it was beaded and heavy. She passed out."

Anton said Mendoza "had plenty to eat today," when pressed for the beauty queen's condition before she fainted at the center of the stage at the Shrine Auditorium, where she had become the 55th Miss Universe before an international television audience less than an hour earlier.

Mendoza attended the pageant's Coronation Ball after recovering from her collapse, according to guests including Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization. "Yes, she's fine," Trump said as he left.

The Puerto Rican beauty queen was named Miss Universe 2006 over runner-up Miss Japan, Kurara Chibana, 24. Second runner-up was Miss Switzerland Lauriane Gillieron, 21. Rounding out the top five were Miss Paraguay Lourdes Arevalos, 22, and Miss United States, 20-year-old Tara Conner.

Dumb ho. I know her tricks. She passed out for several reasons. She hadn't eaten, because she wanted to fit her fat ass into that hideous gown. She also wants to win a role on the Spanish soap opera Peregrina and she's Latin and that's how they do things.

And is that ho wonkey-eyed?!?



[People]

The Dlisted Report

Tammy Blanchard (Gypsy) is in talks to join Brittany Murphy in Ramen Girl. In "Girl," Robert Allan Ackerman's feature film debut, Murphy stars as an American stranded in Tokyo after a breakup who tries to survive by training as a ramen noodle chef. Blanchard would play Gretchen, a drug-addicted American escort for Japanese businessmen who befriends Murphy's character. Shooting begins this September in Tokyo. [THR]

Elisha Cuthbert is expected to star in My Sassy Girl based on a Korean comedy. Cuthbert would play a reckless, brazen girl who turns the life of a small-town guy from the Midwest upside down. Shooting begins this October in NYC. [Variety]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was the #1 movie for the 3rd straight week in a row bringing in almost $33 million and its 3-week tally to $321.7 million. Monster House opened at #2 with $23 million and Lady in the Water flopped with just $18.2 million for #3. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST Winner for July 21!!

"Seacrest, OUT!" - Vivalashameless

Runner-up:

Fat waist, skinny legs, too-tight outfit... Mariah, is that you? - Sue

Hot Slut of the Day!

Christine McVie

Birthday Sluts

Jennifer Lopez (36)
Anna Paquin (24)
Rose Byrne (27)
Kristin Chenoweth (38)
Barry Bonds (42)
Gus Van Zant (54)
Lynda Carter (55)
Michael Richards (57)

Quote of the day and MK is on his way!

"He is always trying to kiss me. I'm like, 'No tongue!'"

Orlando Bloom, on his Pirates costar Johnny Depp

Mahusive Mariah

Carey at the International Carthage Festival yesterday...

My World is Over

Ok, I'm technically still on vacay (I return tomorrow)...but I'm sitting at Heathrow waiting to fly home and I'm reading about my beloved Jordan having a miscarriage. I have rushed to the newsstands to buy OK!, Hello, Heat and they make no mention of this. I have ran my gay ass to the airport chapel (yes, they have those...I know) and after Jesus tried to burn me for being a dirty fag...I lit a candle for her and said a little prayer! Oh my Jordan!!!! Maybe you shouldn't booze and get high during pregnancy, just kidding love!

The story is here in case you've missed it. It's old news, but being Jordan's #1 fan I must acknowledge it. I believe this is also my fault, because I was being selfish in Greece and not devoted to her like I should have been. I now understand this and will make ammends!!!!

However, I did read Angel by Katie Price and probably think her miscarriage was linked to that. She probably finally read it herself and got quite a shock. God I'm rude. No wonder she hates me.

HSL of the Day!

Tia and Tamara Lowry

Birthday Sluts

Marlon Wayans (34)
Daniel Radcliffe (17)
Michelle Williams (26)
Monica Lewinsky (33)
Omar Epps (33)
Charisma Carpenter (36)
Stephanie Seymour (38)
Philip Seymour Hoffman (39)
Slash (41)
Eriq La Salle (44)
Woody Harrelson (45)

Anna Nicole likes to party...obviously

From celebrity nation

A former employee of Anna Nicole Smith has confirmed what we all know: the former Playmate is a party girl who loves to get hammered and load herself up with drugs. Eric Redding, Smith's business manager in the 90s, spilled all kinds of "secrets" in an episode of A&E's Biography this week. "She could drink three or four bottles of champage by herself in, like, a three-hour period," Redding said. He also said her erratic behavior is a definite result of drug use. "Unfortunately she was on like 12 to 15 different types of medications." Um, like, is this really news to anyone??