Pete Doherty entering rehab again.

ROCKER Pete Doherty is going into rehab yet again on Monday. The Babyshambles singer has cancelled his Ibiza Rocks show next week and instead will be having an opiate-suppressing device fitted to stop him taking heroin.
It is the fifth time the on-off boyfriend of super-model Kate Moss has attempted to detox.
Last month Doherty, 27, went to a clinic in Portugal in a bid to get clean.But Portuguese customs officers are thought to have ruined opiate-suppressing supplies, thinking they were drugs. But he is said to be "really determined" to try again.
He looked pale and ill when he met former Libertines bandmate Carl Barat in Camden, North London, but a source said: "Meeting Carl on Tuesday encouraged him to really make a go of it this time."

Daily Mirror

How long do you think he will stay in rehab this time? A day? A week? Until he is sober?

Paris Hilton's album, order now!

Paris Hilton's new album will not be out on August 18th as we all expected. Now we are forced to wait until the 22nd for her lovely music to be broadcast all over the airwaves. How will I kill the time as I wait?

Have you preordered your copy? My ipod is all set and ready for her remake of Do Ya Think I'm Sexy, the remake of Rod Stewart's song. But I'm most excited to hear her song titled, VD n' Me and the party song, Greek Billionaires Are Hot! As you can imagine, the lyrics to those tunes must be heard to be believed.

Love to all,
Distressed Acid Washed Flared Bootleg Low Rise Jeans

Colin gets restraining order

From celebrity nation

Colin Farrell didn't waste any time in seeking legal help after a bizarre incident Thursday where a woman walked onto the stage during his appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Farrell obtained a restraining order that bars Dessarae Bradford from coming within a certain distance of him pending an August 16 court hearing. An audience member described the odd incident, saying, "She said something to Colin Farrell that no one heard, then he took her by the elbow, led her offstage, asked the cameramen to turn off their cameras and asked for security." Farrell's publicist issued a statement saying the woman "has unsuccessfully pursued two fabricated lawsuits" against the Miami Vice actor in the last two years. "Mr. Farrell had never met or spoken to Ms. Bradford until the incident at the Tonight Show."

HSL of the Day!

Maria Conchita Alonso

Birthday Sluts

David Spade (42)
Franka Potente (32)
Rufus Wainwright (33)
Rhys Ifans (38)
John Leguizamo (42)
Rob Estes (43)
Keith Sweat (45)
Willem Dafoe (51)
Albert Brooks (59)
Don Henley (59)
Danny Glover (60)
Alex Trebek (66)
Terence Stamp (67)

More celeb photos for your Friday...

Nicky Hilton will soon open up her own hotel in Miami called Nicky O. She will choose the decor and all that stuff. All by herself!

Bai Ling is so hot, I can't stand it. Do you think thats her natural hair color?

*photo of Lindsay removed by request*

Lohan on set. You think she'd be seen in a van like that otherwise?

Does Gwen ever look bad? No, I don't think so.

Alyssa Milano, leave the braids to Pippi Longstocking please! From the braids down she looks like Tara Reid!

*all photos from Saving Face

Carol Channing is nuts!

by Lahoma00



Below is one of my favorite scenes that has ever appeared on television. It's from the 1985 Alice In Wonderland mini-series, starring such lumanaries as Sheila Allen and Ann Jillian. Carol Channing plays the White Queen and is balls out crazy! Here she is singing "Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday" a song which absolutely makes no sense. The only bummer in this clip is it doesn't have the scene right after, where Carol inexplicably stars shouting "baaaa" and turns into a goat!

Warning: The sound quality is not so great, but it's worth it to see her spazzing out!

A Keanu Reeves' "love bed" for sale

KEANU REEVES LOVE BED This one of a kind bed was used by Keanu Reeves and his longtime girlfriend dozens of times. You always wanted to sleep with Keanu? This may be your best chance! The wooden bed itself was handmade, and is worth in excess of $500 even without its incredible history. Specific details on who the bed belonged to available by request, and a certificate of authenticity will be given to the lucky buyer. As it is quite heavy, it will have to be taken apart and shipped. Local buyers may arrange to have it picked up.
eBay

Yes for a starting bid of just $2,000 you can sleep on the same bed that Keanu used to do more than just sleep on. I don't know about you, but that is way too rich for my a$$.
Disclaimer: Bed not pictured.

fergie's hive-like hairdo

oh man - what the hell is that fergie thinking?!? she must have 'things' living up in that hive of hers - josh duhamel be warned! anyways i wanted to thank MK for allowing popbytes to be a guest blogger here on dlisted - i had a total blast bring you guys a few fun pop items! but don't you worry...yr regularly scheduled sassy & sexy blogger will be back on monday - complete with a hot fresh tan! i hope everyone has a great weekend - try to stay cool![Source - JJB]

PS do you all think that beyonce should remake her video? there is even a petition going around demanding a reshoot...it's really not a great video but way better than that jessica simpson pile of crap...

Busting at the seams

Janet Jackson appearance/interview on XM Satellite Radio in Washington

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 20th

Winner

The Sex and the City cast reunion. 20 years later!
Megan

Runners Up

turtleneck pants!
tvc15

Where are they now?
Kid Rock, Mario Lopez, Hillary Swank, and Jesse Metcalf
Jennifer

Random celeb photos

Julianne Moore, good to see celebs don't look gorgeous all the time. Those shorts do nothing for her man legs. And feet.

What kind of underpants would you wear with such a short dress? None!

Ashlee Simpson wearing elf booties and a shirt that reads, "I'm so happy I could just shit!" She makes me so sick, I could just vomit!

HSL of the Day!

Nancy Reagan

Birthday Sluts

Josh Hartnett (28)
Justin Bartha (28)
Ali Landry (33)
Charlotte Gainsbourg (35)
Brandi Chastain (38)
Jon Lovitz (49)
Robin Williams (55)
Cat Stevens (58)
Janet Reno (68)
Kenneth Starr (60)

Madge to adopt a baby...coming soon!

Since Madonna’s eggs have been exercised into nonexistence, she and Guy are planning on adoption! That is so chic right now! Everyone’s doing it!

The Ritchie's have hired an adoption lawyer who worked with the Jolie-Pitt clan so he is quality shit. Madonna and Guy want an orphaned baby and have talked to both British and American agencies. The baby must be good looking and come from a decent background free of any inorganic foods, the child also must respond well to the English countryside and not be opposed to wearing Versace or eating mung beans and naturally his or her name must be easily converted to a Kaballah name.

Guy’s father John says, "I'm sure both Rocco and Lourdes would love it as they are so close and another sibling would be super."

Oye! Think of the work Lourdes will have to go through to get this new kid to learn French, that’s the way she and Rocco communicate around Madonna so she can’t understand what they are saying. It wasn’t too long ago that Madonna was asked what grade Lourdes was in and she shrugged, turned to Lourdes and said, “What grade are you in?”

Celebrity parents, you have to love them! Or desperately make fun of them.

Naomi arrested AGAIN!!

From celebrity nation

Someone needs to strap this girl down and load her up with tranquilizers. Naomi Campbell was arrested again for having another temper tantrum. The not-so-super model arrived at the London home of her ex-boyfriend at 3:30 in the morning to pick up some of her belonging, but when he refused to let her in, she started yelling so loudly that the neighbors called the cops. She was apparently arrested and then "de-arrested" after she'd calmed down.

Nano Nano

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to be remaking Mork and Mindy into a feature length film! Everything is in negotiations at the moment. They feel this would be an excellent project to work on together. Steven Spielberg declined to direct this one saying that Tom's gotten too crazy even for him to work with. Tom is looking for an open minded director who will work in exchange for a ride on the mother ship. Yes, that ship is loaded with the latest technology including a device that speaks to L. Ron Hubbard from the home planet. I know, totally sweet!

And yes, Tom will of course have the white Scientology tent set up on location for free donuts and emeter readings. What about little Suri? Well, they have officially hired on Kate's old baby sitter Jessica, to care for the tyke who is now closing in on her first birthday. Oops, have I said too much?

Does Simon Like Your Titties?

You know it's time to go visit Dr. Rey when your silicon turns to play-doh. Paula, is that a golf ball indent on your chest?

Forget Jessica.....I'm going Nicole

Ashlee Simpson at the Victoria's Secret Pink Party

Paris Hilton responds to claims she is "an oversized human condom."

Hey everyone! Tabloid Whore here and I am weeping with joy right now! I have just come across the funniest f'ing thing on TMZ's website. TMZ reporter Harvey Levin (who is now my new hero) does a guerilla style interview when he runs into Paris Hilton and her lawyer Elliot Mintz. Levin proceeds to ask Paris her thoughts about the mean things written about her on TMZ message boards and actually quotes to her some of the messages such as, "Paris is just an oversized human condom," "Paris is like a fart in a mitten. You know it's there, you can't stand it, but you can't get rid of it," and "Would you please drop over dead or commit suicide you damn slut." Yes, he said this to her face and she responds. I am just amazed that he actually did this and although I enjoyed this video tremendously, it's like, WTF Harvey?? Oh this is beautiful. Please watch the video here.

Source: TMZ

Natasha Lyonne: Then and Now

Splash News

OMG! I am glad to see she is no longer at death's door anymore, not even close to it.

Camryn Manheim to eat J. Love

by Lahoma00



Camryn Manheim, who I hate more than anyone on the planet, is set to join the J. Love series Ghost Whisperer this fall. No one will be whispering with this loud bitch around. Love, you better watch out because this ho and her 14 million earrings will try to take over your show by sitting on you!



Now I have to go light a candle for Jordan!

Jordan miscarried

DEVASTATED Jordan has miscarried a baby. The glamour girl, 28, was rushed to a London hospital last Friday with stomach pains. Mum-of-two Jordan was said to have been “over the moon” at being pregnant but had kept it a secret. She is now recovering at her East Sussex home with pop star hubby Peter Andre and kids Junior, one, and Harvey, four. A pal of the couple said: “It’s impossible to describe how upset they both are. “They wanted to keep the whole thing secret and hoped no one would find out.“She was only a few weeks into the pregnancy — but hadn’t had her three-month scan, so told only a handful of people.”Jordan — real name Katie Price — sparked baby rumours three weeks ago after patting her stomach in posh London eatery Hakkasan and saying she wanted six kids.And just two months ago she talked about how much she and 33-year-old Peter wanted another tot.She said: “Pete and me really want another child. We’d love a little girl. I’d have to call her Pink or Princess, because she’d be my princess.”

The Sun (Thanks Jennifer P!)

This is so sad. I had not heard the rumors that she was pregnant, but hopefully she will be pregnant again soon.
Maybe Michael K will be able to bring her flowers when he is back in England before his return to the States.

Fergie quote of the day

"When people are saying you're pregnant every week in the tabloids, you kind of wonder, Do I look fat? It hurts my feelings. I feel like these rumors will make it less special when it actually happens. My poor grandma is calling me every week to congratulate me!"

Feed her please

Did Nicole Richie take that phrase “shop until you drop” too seriously?The super-skinny reality show star reportedly fainted while doing a little retail therapy. Richie — who has admitted that she’s too thin but has denied that she has an eating disorder — collapsed while browsing at Kitson, a chic LA boutique, on July 15, according to Life & Style. “She was looking through a rack of clothes when she suddenly fainted and hit the floor,” an “eyewitness” told the mag. “The staff helped her to a chair and offered her something to eat. She shot back, ‘No!’ and mumbled something about it being ‘so hot.’” Although Richie turned away food, she did accept a glass of water, reports the mag, and after about 20 minutes “was steady enough to leave.” Richie’s rep couldn’t be reached for comment, but a spokeswoman for the store denies the incident.

Scoop

She turned down food? Nicole has serious problem and needs some help ASAP.

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 19th

Winner

Mom?
mishma

Runners Up

Is it me, or has Clay Aiken gained a few pounds?
Boomer

Suri's real birthmom after she found out what Tom did to her child.
Liz

Obviously Britney took Matt Lauer's advice to make a couple of changes before the Dateline interview.
Muzi

HSL of the Day!

Jade Goody

Birthday Sluts

Josh Holloway (37)
Simon Rex (32)
Gisele Bundchen (26)
Judy Greer (31)
Chris Cornell (42)
Carlos Santana (59)
Kim Carnes (60)
Diana Rigg (68)

How much is date with Jessica Biel worth?

It's a small price to pay for a date with Esquire magazine's "Sexiest Woman Alive," but the $30,000 bid for lunch with Jessica Biel is going to a worthy cause.
That was the amount raised in an auction to help a Colorado teen who lost her leg and part of her pelvis following a prom-night accident May 13, the Associated Press reports. The girl, Molly Bloom, was run over by a Hummer stretch limousine.
On Tuesday, a man identified only as "John" cast the $30,000 bid. He said he was a senior vice president for an oil and gas company in Denver, the Rocky Mountain News reported.

People

Price of a new suit for the date - $525
Price of the date - $30,000
Price of bragging to your guy friends that you had a date Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" - Priceless!

Where in the world is Suri Cruise?

Leah says the baby is a good combination of Tom and Katie. Which is funny because Suri isn't Tom's! She was created in a test tube on the Scientology compound...

Finally! Someone gets invited over to the Crazy Cruise's house to see baby Suri. So she does exist? Well, we still have to wonder since the first celebrity visitor to the house is actually a fellow freakologist. Leah Remini saw Suri with her own two eyeballs! Next Jenna Elfman is going to say how cute Suri is or something. I won't believe it until I see Suri in person. And I'm not taking Kirstie Alley's word for it either. Or John Travolta's.

I want the truth about this whole weird scam. You can't handle the truth! Yes I can! Make the voices stop! Xenu, is that you?

People magazine has the full report on Leah's visit. I'll believe Suri is alive and well and real when someone like, well...me, gets invited over for an afternoon of tea and anal probes.

Kate's son -- danger on the playground!

Kate Hudson’s son took a spill in the park yesterday and busted open his bottom lip. Kate, learning the information via her nanny, was furious! What happened was that a bigger child, age nine or so, knocked poor two year old Ryder down on his diapered ass! And Kate was fit to be tied! Bitch was foaming at the mouth! How dare that punk knock down her precious long haired little girl? I mean, boy!? She puts Ryder's hair in a ponytail for God's sake.

Fumes Kate, “… thank God I wasn't there, I would have drop-kicked that kid to like the West Side Highway. I would have been so mad! I would have been like, 'Where are his parents?! He's really into the cowboy thing, so he immediately looked at himself in the mirror and got on his horse and said, 'I'm a real cowboy now!' He took it like a little man."

I think he’s a real Annie Oakley with those flowing locks. Kate, cut that shit OFF! Do I have to beg? Please!!! Just a trim, like four or five inches.

K Fed to Justin: Outta my way bitch!

Kevin Federline, aka Mr. Britney Spears is so obsessed with Justin Timberlake that he combs through newspapers and gossip magazines to read what the singer is up to. He's jealous of Justin's looks, songs, music, popularity and career. Basically he's as obsessed as teenage girl with a Tigerbeat magazine and a crush on Rick Springfield .

Brit helped Kevin meet the head honchos at Jive records, the place where Britney and Justin both have contracts. Now Kev is ready to get into the studio and lay down some tight shit. He's also thinking of changing his last name to Federlake.

"Kevin told a friend that he's going to 'pulverize' Justin on the charts. He says he's got the hottest producers in the business and that he can write killer rhymes — and that all Justin has is a silly falsetto and a bad haircut."

Yeah! Take that, Timberflake! Wait- did he say he could write killer rhymes? Yo yo my name is Kevin, my songs are better than the seven-eleven.. when I rap, my songs sound like crap but daddy's gotta keep making the dough. Yo yo yo! Peace out Fresno, Popozao!

It's a man, baby!

Sometimes I think Jessica is hot. Sometimes I think she looks like Ricky Martin in a blonde wig. And other times she appears to have been carved out of wax. It's a man in drag kind of day in the above photo.


I had the same outfit back in the early 1980's. A most excellent time for fashion. Here is Jessica wearing a getup chosen by her father to display her "assets" as she visits TRL. Velour hotpants... so sexy! Almost as sexy as roller skates and pigtails, meow!

paris hilton goes inflatable

oh gag me with a fucking spoon! i just posted this to popbytes but i thought this trashy parisite hilton blow-up doll horror was perfect fit for the dlisted crowd! ugh - there are three 'tender' love openings to keep you 'satisfied' all over...i am so very sorry if any of you are eating...the other MK - over & out!

Tori Spelling pregnant?

After months of specualtion Life & Style is reporting that Tori Spelling is indeed about 4 months pregnant.
Shame neither one of her parents will ever see the demon spawn.

Baldwin brotha throws Hummer

Daniel Baldwin is in police custody and could face DUI charges after crashing into a pair of parked cars while driving at about 80 mph through Los Angeles. Weeeee

A police spokesman said Baldwin was spotted weaving through traffic at 80 miles per hour in a silver Thunderbird. He ran a red light before crashing into two cars, including a Hummer which was launched 20 feet by the impact. Police say Baldwin was driving the car, a rental, with a suspended license.

TMZ

Kevin Goes Shopping For Fitness

Because nothing says "I love you" more than buying the one you care for "the ultimate training machine." But of course I could be wrong. The Bosu balance trainer may just be for K Feezy.

Xtina shows us her boobs again

Ever a classy lady, Christina Aguilera left the hotel in Paris wearing this tres-sophis high-waisted skirt paired with a see-through tanktop and no bra. It looks like her stylist went shopping at Wet Seal and didn't have enough money left over for the sparkly purple boa to cover up those big boobies.


(Image Source)

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 18

Winner

FireSquatch
Clint

Runners Up

"Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shamaylan.
MadMan

Beyonce desperately attempts to improve 'B-Day' Cover
mojito

Brown wig Brit sighting

[images removed by request of the photo agency]

And that's NOT the manny

Ruthie to fly the coop?

by Lahoma00



One of the most powerful, thought provoking shows on TV, 7th Heaven, will be returning this fall. America will be blessed with another season of seeing Catherine Hicks, aka Poodle, flip out. However, some cast members are still not confirmed to return---namely Mackenzie Rosman (Ruthie) and shockingly hot David Gallagher (Simon)



What the hell is the show going to do? They'll never be able to tell the story of Poodle having an affair with the Sherrif, explaining why Ruthie is biracial. The thought of 7th Heaven without Ruthie is as tragic as Judging Amy without Tyne Daly!

Heffing it up

Skyy Vodka Party for Playboy's August Issue






Heff with Monica Leigh

HSL of the Day!

Maggie Q

Birthday Sluts

Topher Grace (28)
Jared Padalecki (24)
Michelle Heaton (26)
Vinessa Shaw (30)
Clea Lewis (42)
Anthony Edwards (44)
Campbell Scott (46)
Vikki Carr (65)

Get Your Barf Bags Out

Really who the hell follows Jennifer Love Hewitt around with a camera? I didn't even know she was still famous. I thought she was right up there in the rankings of Punky Brewster and Tiffany. I think she hires her own paparazzi to take pictures of her and posts them on the internet herself. In fact she's probably reading this shit right now all hyped up that I'm actually talking about her.

Greece is the Word

Hi Y'all!

I'm checking in! I really thought Greece would have internet access, but I was wrong. I'm checking my shit on some dinky computer with all these Greek sluts watching me. I'm staying in some small island named Folegrandos and having a hot time. I love the nude beaches, but some fat whores have no business showing their blubber. I mean how can they get so fat by eating olives and like Feta cheese? Anyway, thanks again to my guest bloggers. I'll be back with full-time on Monday.

xoxooxMichael K

Orlando loves his bag o' bones

without Orlando's strong hands to hold her up,

Kate may fall to the ground like a pile of pick- up sticks

Orlando Bloom is insisting that his romance with Kate Bosworth is still going strong. At least, until she stops eating completely and needs to be checked into a hospital with an IV drip. Look at her! Skin and bones. Tsk tsk. Feed her some bread, please, Orlando? He calls Kate “irresistible and extraordinary.” That could mean that she takes it up the pooper because lots of guys dig that. Or else its his own way of saying that she's “malnourished and anorexic.”

I fear that if Kate dresses in camo and turns sideways, Orlando won't be able to find her.

Lohan is Still Dating a Pink Taco

That dude must have really good coke because Hohan is still with him. Come on Miss "I can't be in a monogamous relationship", move on to some new dick.


Did you borrow that dress from your Mom?

Boot Scootin' Pickler

My ears are bleeding and I haven’t even heard her new single, something about being a mink and a vicksen. Kellie Pickler just signed a record contract with label, BNA Music. It’s a country label so she’s going to be warbling and yodeling and shit like that. I promise I won't by her CD. I'll put my $20 towards some vodka and party olives. I'm pretty certain she will be signing of rodeos and tight pants and getting her heart broken.

According to People magazine, Pickler says this: "I've always dreamed of getting a record deal, so now my dream has come true! Wait- what's a record deal? hee hee."

I think she might be more redneck than Britney. I now realize that pretty much any girl with a voicebox and a coochie can get a record deal so…my debut single will be out on November 14.

The End of Footballers Wives

by Lahoma00

A special parody of Footballers Wives was shown at the UK's recent Sport Relief. It just proves that Tanya Turner is the 3rd most beautiful person on Earth (after Jordan and Harvey).

Warning: This contains Season 5 spoilers!

THE CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 17th

Winner

Prince Michael and Paris Jackson prepare for their entry into society.
AaliyahsBabyDaddy

Runners Up

They're trying to figure out which of them is supposed to hike their leg to piss
Morticia

The National Enquirer has not been able to get photos of Suri, but they have managed to get this candid photo of the conception.
Null Infinity

Pamela Anderson is getting married

"Yes. I'm finally getting remarried...it's been a whirlwind...I'm moving on...I feel like I'm finally free....I'm in love. I'm happy....I see the light...sounds dramatic but it's true....."

People

Beyonce got hair for her B'day

Beyonce stole my grandma's hair-do for the cover of her new album "B'day." I personally would prefer if Beyonce came out with an album called "Bidet." The first single could be called "Douche Ya Poon" and could maybe be the Song of the Summer unlike her current mediocre single floating around clubland.

Tori to take those weird boobs to the stage

They have got to be kidding! As reported on celebrity nation, Tori Spelling is in talks for the role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago. Spelling would take over the role from Tom Hanks' wife Rita Wilson and join Usher on stage at the end of August. God, no. She can't act, why would anyone think that expecting Donna Martin to be able to sing and dance as well would be a successful idea? The discussion between her and the producers is a trainwreck in the making.

Blohaning STDs from the balcony

Snagged a guy and improved a bod...you go blo!

carson daly looks weird!

oh man that carson daly is looking like a freakshow as he leaves koi restuarant here in LA - i know he had plumped up and was trying to lose weight but methinks he went way too far! he looks skinny sick and scared - gosh do you all remember when he used to be kinda cute? dummy jennifer love hewitt is one lucky bitch to have escaped from his daly clutches...this is MK from popbytes over & out - xxoo! [photo source JJB]

HSL of the Day!

Nicole Scherzinger

Birthday Sluts

Vin Diesel (39)
Ryan Cabrera (24)
Kristen Bell (26)
Wendy Williams (42)
Audrey Landers (47)
Martha Reeves (65)
James Brolin (66)
Paul Verhoeven (68)
Hunter T. Thompson (68)
Nelson Mandela (88)

The CW premiere dates

Following is The CW's 2006-2007 night-by-night breakdown of primetime premiere dates:

Wednesday, September 20

8:00-10:00 p.m. AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Special Two-Hour Premiere

Friday, September 22

8:00-10:00 p.m. FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN

Monday, September 25

8:00-9:00 p.m. 7TH HEAVEN

9:00-10:00 p.m. RUNAWAY

Tuesday, September 26

8:00-9:00 p.m. GILMORE GIRLS

Wednesday, September 27

9:00-10:00 p.m. ONE TREE HILL

Thursday, September 28

8:00-9:00 p.m. SMALLVILLE

9:00-10:00 p.m. SUPERNATURAL

Sunday, October 1

7:00-7:30 p.m. EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS

7:30-8:00 p.m. ALL OF US

8:00-8:30 p.m. GIRLFRIENDS

8:30-9:00 p.m. THE GAME

9:00-10:00 p.m. AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (Encore Presentation)

Tuesday, October 3

9:00-10:00 p.m. VERONICA MARS

The Futon Critic

KFed booked for Teen Choice Awards

From celebrity nation


Look out, y'all! Kevin Federline hopes to prove himself as a rapper with a live performance at this year's Teen Choice Awards. Mr. Spears is taking time out of his busy schedule of smoking, hangin' at gas stations and spawning children to humiliate himself in front of millions. The Teen Choice Awards is set to air August 2o.

Pammy Anderson

Whoops! Pam Anderson falls out of a boat. I think the guy in the white shirt tossed her overboard to see if her floatation devices worked! (they did)

Fergie did drugs too

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas is admitting she used to do drugs. Admitting your drug use- it’s the new black! Everyone’s doing it. Go ahead, talk about your dirty secrets and your coolness quotient will skyrocket!

Fergs used to let others believe she had a problem with bulimia and that’s why she was so darn skinny, like ninety pounds. That’s before she had twenty pounds of breast implants. She came clean to her Wild Orchid bandmates after lying to them. She says, “I put up a whole front - I even took them to Overeaters Anonymous with me. I've never been bulimic in my life, but when you're a drug addict, you lie.I don't want to be the poster girl for crystal meth, but it's very addicting, and people don't know just how addicting it is!".

There you have it. If Justin Timberlake is the spokesperson for heroin, Fergie can be the spokeswhore for Crystal Meth. Drugs- not just for celebrities anymore!

The Peter Cook/Christie Brinkley separation heats up!

The 19 year girl that Peter Cook has "allegedly" been having an affair with has hired a lawyer and is threatening to sue.

Peter Cook, 47, caused "substantial and irreparable harm" when he showered aspiring singer Diana Bianchi, 19, with luxurious gifts - including a Nissan Maxima - and then seduced her behind Christie Brinkley's back, the lawyer said.
"It amounts to preying on an innocent, young and naive girl who would otherwise have no attraction to a 50-year-old man," lawyer Joseph Tacopina said. "He offered her money, a job, career advancement. And when he got her comfortable, he made his real intentions known."
He said while Bianchi isn't under age, she was "right at the limit" when the two met. The age of consent in New York is 17.
"I don't think he bought her a car because he's a philanthropist. It's just outrageous," said Tacopina, who is working in tandem with civil lawyer Rosemarie Arnold. "Her eyes are starting to become open. We're evaluating our legal options."

NY Daily News

Dave and Carmen Split

Actress Carmen Electra and Rock Star: Supernova host Dave Navarro have separated. Electra and Navarro are "amicably separating," says rep Jill Fritzo. They married on Nov. 22, 2003 in a wedding documented on the 2004 MTV reality show 'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave.

So let's do a MTV/VH1 couple round-up:
The Osbournes - Happily Married
The Newlyweds - Divorced
Carmen & Dave - Separated
The Barkers - Just bought a house in Calabasas
The Bradys - Just Married
Flavor Flav - Back August 6th

People

Vintage Justin, Christina and Britney

by Lahoma00

Who knew that watching this, they'd grow up to be a druggie, a ho and white trash (although, arguably, these monikers could be used interchangeably)

Can you spot Suri's baby carriage?

X17online says if you squint hard enough you can see Suri's baby carriage. I don't see it, do you?

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 14th

Hearing that urine clears the skin, Jessica Simpson has her sister piss on her face. Her dad charges $3.50 for folk to watch.
Cuntina

Runners Up

Even though she lost to Fantasia, Diana DeGarmo knew American Idol would somehow still propel her into show business.
Tallsonofagun

Gary Coleman's recurring dream.
vlcupper wears jeans/sneakers

Justin is the New Pete, sort of..not really

Justin...

...meet Pete

The comparisons are so obvious, I don't know why I didn't put it together sooner. Justin Timberlake loves his drugs which makes looking at Cameron's pock marked, pitted, cystic acne scarred face much easier.

Plus heroin eased the pain when Britney cheated on his ass, so long ago. Instead of a wine cellar, Justin's got himself a crack den!

"The drugs that I do have been done in my own private time. I've never been arrested - though that's not to say that I won't. I've done way too many drugs already. I've already inhaled and I've already - who knows? Some drugs haven't been legalised because it will ruin the other drugs, like nicotine and tobacco. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin....We all make mistakes. I'm just like everyone else - I get completely plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs and been caught places with my pants down. It's just that I make sure there are no cameras around."

Admit it, you would love to see Justin stumbling around like Pete Doherty. I know I would!

HSL of the Day!

Jane Russell

Birthday Sluts

David Hasselhoff (54)
Carey Hart (31)
Mike Vogel (27)
Molly Parker (34)
Heather Langenkamp (42)
Mark Burnett (46)
Lucie Arnaz (55)
Camilla Parker-Bowles (59)
Diahann Carroll (71)
Donald Sutherland (71)
Phyllis Diller (89)

Bai Ling

Bai Ling just doesn't get posted nearly enough on this site. The dress code for the event was blacktie but come on people....Bai Ling just bought a new bikini. That wouldn't be fair. I wonder if Bai Ling has considered her options in the porno industry.


I have a feeling she could fart and that dude would end up with a venereal disease.

Smashed in the sun

Naomi freaks out on yacht

Crazed Naomi Campbell reportedly caused $54,000 worth of damage to her boyfriend's yacht following an argument with the boat's chef. Okay...is she on steroids or something?

Naomi destroyed "furniture and fittings" on Badr Jafar's luxury boat, which was in Viareggio harbor in Italy, reports The Sun.

Apparently Naomi got pissed off when the chef's tomato and mozzarella appetizer failed to please Campbell. And when the cook retaliated by shouting back at Campbell, she reportedly began throwing things around in a rage.

A witness said, "All hell seemed to break loose. All you could hear was shouting and screaming in English. There was the sound of plates being broken. Some of the crew later said the kitchen was a complete mess and the curtains and cushions had all been ripped apart."

Campbell is currently fighting three lawsuits, all filed by former employees who claim the supermodel assaulted them. Bitch, please!

{{{{{YAWN}}}}}

Is there anything more boring than Katie Couric? Let me think…there’s watching paint dry… and umm…lets see…staring at the sun until you get black spots on your eyes…CSPAN is boring watching the grass grow… yeah, there’s just a few more boring things than her, but she’s in the news again.

Here’s what she has to say about taking over the job of newsanchor- WAIT—you mean there’s more on television than HGTV and the E! channel? I didn’t even know that nightly news still existed! I thought that went out with teased hair and orange tans.

“I'm really excited, obviously, to get started, to stop talking about this and actually to start doing the job," Couric said with that dopey lopsided grin of hers.

She is going to be the anchor and the editor of the show and if you ask me, that shit is pretty hot! Lucky her. She's going to be making more money than you or I or all of us put together will ever see. In one year she could totally fed not only Namibia, but the entire continent. Bitch! I hate her.

CBS news president Sean McManus said that with Katie on board, the news show will be: “...different, it will be new, it will be fresh and most of all it will be intelligent, it will be relevant and it will be transparent." HUH? Of course it will be new and different, its NEWS, it changes more often than Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend du jour!

By the way, how is news transparent? Oh, I get it! She’s going to be behind that big desk, wearing only saranwrap to boost ratings, wink wink. There will be a new set for her in the colors of pink and purple, Katie’s favorite, theme music will be a jaunty polka tune and puffy lettered graphics will be created for Couric.

And Tom Cruise would like everyone to start referring to her as Kate Couric now.

Britney's Letter of Troof, vol. 103, 2nd edishun

we's one big happy family y'all!

Dear Frends and Fans,

Hi! How are y'all? Let's git down to it!

Y’all, pregnancy ain’t purty. I aint gonna lie. I’s feelin’ real fat these days. Already I cant wait to git myself down to a size 2. I hear Angelina Jo-lee is swallowing those Hoodia pills and that’s what Im gonna do! Im gunna git real hot. But with big boobs. You’ll see. Kev’s offered me $2 million if I can fit into that red leather catsuit I wore in mah video, you know the one. ‘Cept I cant figure out how this works, Kev don’t got that much money so Im supposin’ that he’s givin’ me $2 million of mah own money?

Lil’ P is so cute, y’all! I cant wait to have his little sister and dress her up real cute in sequins and pearls. And hotpants and tube tops, thats real sweet on little girls! Do they make four inch stilet-toes for young 'uns?

Kev calls me an “Emoshunal mess.” Right now ‘cause all them hermones goin’ thru my body or as Kev calls ‘em, Whore-moans! He’s so funny! Y’all, me and Jamie Lynne and my cousin Laura Lynne we all agree the baby should be named Brandi Lynne or Misti Lynne, I cannot decide!! Maybe even Taffi Lynne. I luv that name. Kevin says he don’t care. Something about signing checks? He is so simple! My mama calls him very simple minded. I think that means that he’s like, really smart.

Y’all I gots to go. Mah little Boo is climbing into the dogs food... again! Stay tuned for another season of Chaotic but wif me real preggers and look outs for mah new bubble gum scented perfume, Brit-Pop! And mah new line of Pork Rinds called Brit’s Piggy Chips! I’s comin out with foodstuffs now ‘cause I loves me some money! And cause...uh...I gots to support my husband..and that Shar Jackson.

Luv,

Brits

Paris Hilton, this decades Icelandic Blonde!

Paris Hilton is soooo smart. Brilliant really. Her application to MENSA is under review this very minute. Paris says that she is much like Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana and she thinks she is this decades “Iconic Blonde”. Actually, she said she's this decades "Icelandic Blonde" but we think she meant "Iconic". Or like a blowdryer, "Ionic". Er...you never know with Paris.

And you know, people…peons…whatever, she may be blonde and pretend to be dumb but her brains are not merely diamond encrusted blobs of oatmeal, she is a very “savvy business woman!” Obviously, I mean, her dirty bedsheet eau de Paris is a top selling perfume! Right up there with Donald Trump’s cologne splash smelling like freshly minted dollar bills and Love’s Baby Soft.

The stream of genius continues as Paris rambles on in her monotone voice, "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, I'm that icon. I read these stories about me starting fights and saying stupid stuff. I've become a cartoon. Nobody seems to get that how I am on The Simple Life is a character. I even know what a (US discount store) Wal-Mart is. I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we're doing. We're smart blondes."

Duh! Why would you even mention Jessica Simpson? Everyone knows she’s a puppet and her daddy is the puppet-master: she's like a blow up doll with a voice box. If Paris was so smart then she would take a vow of celibacy and move to Idaho. I da ho? No, she’s the ho!

That was so bad, even I’m cringing.

Kate causes chopper crash

From celebrity nation

A U.S. Marine crew is reportedly being investigated for crashing their helicopter while allegedly rubbernecking at Kate Hudson in a bikini. The You, Me and Dupree actress was filming a scene for the flick wearing a swimsuit and heels when the chopper crashed only yards away. "We heard this huge crash. A sort of plywood thing came falling onto my car from a rooftop," Hudson recalled. "Then the cops were there and the Marines were there and I'm in this outfit." Ooh boy I bet their parents are real proud...

CBS's eggelent idea?

Forget TV, Forget radio, forget billboards, forget MySpace...CBS has found a new way to advertise their fall primetime lineup. I swear this is no Yolk.
The brilliant(?) people over at CBS have decided to advertise on eggs. Yes you read that right, CBS will be leaving their mark on the eggs you eat!

Here are some of the slogans that be will appearing on the eggs:
CBS Mondays: Leave the Yolks to Us
CSI: Crack the Case on CBS
The Amazing Race: Scramble to Win on CBS
How I Met Your Mother: Find Your Chick on CBS

And for the new shows:
The Class: New Grade-A CBS Comedy
Smith: Professional Poachers
Shark: Hard-Boiled Drama
Jericho: Unbeatable Television

I sincerely want to know what thet smoking over there. Because how anyone can be eggited over this idea is beyond me.

Now Playing Magazine

Goodbye London!!!

I am leaving London today without Jordan. I tried (not really) but unfortunately Katie Price and myself will have to fall in love another time. Thanks to all who sent information on how to track her huge implants down. I know that the two of us will meet soon. It's fate, it's meant to be. It was also hard to get past that whole restraining order business.

Anyway, London is fantastic and I won't miss the food. I'm on my way to Greece today to pick up a Billionaire husband and retire on a yacht snorting diamonds all day and picking out which furry dogs I need skinned to create the perfect Winter coat. I will continue to check in and I will be thinking of you guys as I sun my nuts along the Mediterranean.

Thanks again to my hot guest bloggers. Boo ya!

xoxoxMichaelK

Hot Slut of the Week: Amanda Lepore

Age: ?
Birthday: ?
Birth Name: Armand Lepore

Original Date of HSL of the Day: July 14, 2006

Claim to Fame: New York's most famous tranny. Is just like Paris Hilton but hotter and used to have a dick. She's also the muse of photographer David LaChapelle.

Where is she now? Still partying every night and showing up naked to events.

Why is she HSL of the Week? She's gorgeous sex in a plastic box and she's actually really nice.

Blohan's Lie of the Day!

on the VF article in which she said she had an eating disorder and later denied saying that:

"I'm actually happy Vanity Fair did that. Because (in correcting the article) it was nice to be able to say to young girls it's not OK to treat yourself like that. And there are other ways (rather than bulimia) to maintain a weight you like.

"I lost a lot of weight. I had a lot of shit to deal with at that time and I wasn't eating right".

I Still Love Sk8r Boi

Avril Lavigne is all grown-up and shit and married Deryck Whateverwho in Montecito, CA yesterday. She wore trash and he looked like trash.

At the outdoor, non-denominational ceremony, Lavigne was walked down the aisle by her father, John, to Mendelssohn's "Wedding March." She wore a Vera Wang gown and carried a bouquet of white roses.

The couple said their vows under an awning decorated with white flowers in front of 110 guests, including family and friends from their native Ontario.

Once the groom had kissed the bride, guests tossed rose petals at the newlyweds as they walked back up the aisle.

After the wedding, guests were to be treated to an outdoor cocktail hour before the reception, including a sit-down dinner, under a tent on the estate. In contrast to the all-white ceremony, the reception will have a red theme, with centerpieces of red roses and other flowers.

The couple's first dance is expected to be to the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris."

Aw....I still love sk8r boi and listen to that mess of a song. Old Avril would've never worn Vera Wang. Her dress would've been by like Hot Topic...ugh I miss old Avril.

[People]

Don't Be Embarrassed!

Jessica Alba is quite embarrassed at the fact that she's just wasted her money at The Gap. Shit, I'd be embarrassed too! Their stuff stinks and is overpriced. Dumb ho probably got it for free though and I don't mean because she's a movie star. Because she's a slut! Just kidding, she's hot and she knows how to work a lollipop. It's a little cliche, but she's trying to work with the sexy.

HSL of the Day!

Zayra from Rock Star: Supernova

Birthday Sluts for July 16th

Chris Pontius (32)
Jenna Lewis (29)
Corey Feldman (35)
Barry Sanders (38)
Will Ferrell (39)
Phoebe Cates (43)
Michael Flatley (48)
Tony Kushner (50)
Ruben Blades (58)
Corin Redgrave (67)

Jennifer Garner baby bump?

From celebrity nation

Another Ben Affleck spawn? New pics of Jennifer Garner are prompting rumors that Mrs. Affleck might be knocked up again.

picture source

Justin's a bad ass

From celebrity nation

Justin Timberlake talked booze, drugs and Britney in a recent interview with a British magazine. "I don't show up drunk to functions," the SexyBack singer said. "The drugs I do have been in my own private time. I've never been arrested - though not to say that I won't!... If Courtney Love shows up to a function, then it's like, 'Oh that's Courtney Love.' If I show up drunk, it's like, 'Oh my GOD!' And, like, Britney's an unfit mother because she put her child in the carseat backwards. I feel bad for her. We all make mistakes." When asked if he ever wanted to be president, JT said, "I've done way too many drugs already. I've already inhaled and I've already...who knows... I'm just like everyone else. I get completely plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs and I've been caught places with my pants down; it's just that I make sure there are no cameras around." Aren't there some of us who'd have preferred that cameras were around when Justin "Trousersnake" was caught with his pants down?? Yes please.

Brad has a small wiener, but you didnt hear it from me!

First came the rumors that Brad Pitt smelled like cumin and didn't care to take a daily shower. Seriously, he was supposedly very challenged in the hygiene department which is totally ridiculous for someone who can afford to pay a midget to bathe him with imported caviar soap. Then Jennifer Aniston insisted Brad had a sensitivity chip missing. But smelling like a rotten Subway sandwich left out in the sun and being an asshole is nothing compared to her latest allegation: Brad is a dud in the sack. He’s as easily aroused as a jello mold. And he’s as small as a gherkin, too, take that Bradley Pitt! Yeah, I'm bitter. I haven't forgiven him for dropping me for Jen ten years ago. *Sob*!

Jen is a satisfied customer of Vince Vaughn who she calls “the best love I ever had!” In my humble opinion I think kissing him would be like licking an ashtray and the bottom of a boot. But since Jen smokes too, that’s quite appealing. There's nothing like the subtle scent of Marlboro with a slight undertone of gym socks.

“Friends confirm the star never gushed about Brad the way she does about Vince. “She giggles, saying how great he is, in and out of the bedroom,” one friend says.

Vince, that hunk of burning love, understands Jens needs in and out of the bedroom. Yup, he’s a keeper! Surely he's a giver and people, that's what we look for in a man, right? And all Brad cares about is like, rebuilding homes in New Orleans and feeding the African children and installing heated tiles in his Arts & Crafts style mansion. What a loser!

I hear that Vince and Jen are in the midst of planning a wedding and are looking forward to having children. I think it would be hot if they adopted some orphans from Appalachia. A few freckled, shoeless youngsters with missing teeth from the mountains. Seriously adopt a cause all your own Jen. Banjos, overalls and kids with lisps are hot! Third world countries are like, so yesterday!