Panty Creamers of the Day: Dave Navarro & Tommy Lee

Tommy Lee & Dave Navarro exchanging STDs at the Rock Star premiere party on July 13, 2006

Saturday Crumbs

Someone give Mimi $10 so she can buy better dresses [Hollywood Tuna]

Keira Knightley is right about something [Egotastic!]

A naked Superman? [IDLYITW]

Eminem likes to piss in peace [Mollygood]

Frankenstars [Cityrag]

Avril and Deryk to make it legal this weekend? [Popsugar]

Pot calling kettle [Hollywood Rag]

Is it just me or does Beyonce look just like Rihanna and vice versa [Just Jared]

She Better Call Tyrone

I love me some Baduizm, but DAMN! I know she likes to take chances, but what is that on her head? That is not part of the Badu. It's like a mullet meets mohawk meets mess. I hope Tyrone is a hairdresser, because she needs one bad. Here she is performing in London last night. Love the jacket tho.

10 Pounds of Sugar in a 5 Pound Sack

Pam Anderson in St. Tropez on July 12, 2006

WTF is wrong with Pamela Anderson? Is she taking a fashion note from Mimi? When will she grow up and stop dressing like a 2 penny hooker? Damn, if my mom dressed like this I'd probably be all effed up. Actually, I am pretty effed up anyway and my mom didn't dress like that. Oh well, there goes that theory.

HSL of the Day! for July 15th

John Oates

Birthday Sluts for July 15th

Brian Austin Green (33)
Diane Krueger (30)
Evan Marriott (32)
Scott Foley (34)
Brigitte Nielsen (43)
Forest Whitaker (45)
Lolita Davidovich (45)
Alicia Bridges (53)
Terry O'Quinn (54)
Jesse Ventura (55)
Linda Rondstadt (60)

Brad visits New Orleans

From Smart.







From Reuters:

Actor Brad Pitt and high-profile architects on Friday urged New Orleans to think green, selecting a series of environmentally friendly housing projects they hope to build in the hurricane-hit city.

Flanked by prize-winning architect Thom Mayne and Pam Dashiell, president of the neighborhood association in the Holy Cross area where the first project is slated to be built, Pitt said construction and housing were major sources of pollution.

"There is a real opportunity here to lead the nation in a direction it needs to be going, and that is building efficiently," he said.

At the same time, Pitt said he was shocked and disturbed to see how slowly New Orleans was recovering from Hurricane Katrina, which hit nearly 11 months ago and flooded 80 percent of the city.

Pitt underwrote and chaired the design competition for environmentally friendly housing with the goal of creating a template for New Orleans.

carmen electra - oh so perky

damn carmen electra must have had a great time while getting her hair done over in west hollywood - i'm not even one to notice tits but those nipples just popped out at me - i wonder if she was headed home to go ride hubby dave navarro while she is still 'with him' or maybe she will have some 'alone time' with herself! this is MK from popbytes - over & out...xxoo! [photo source]

Nicole's not pregnant after all

Despite the now-infamous recent pic of Nicole Kidman sporting what looks to be a baby bump while leaving a Nashville gym, celebrity nation reports that the newlywed has laughed off rumors saying she's preggers. "Nicole is not pregnant," her publicist said. "This story began with the tabloids and truly is no one's business, but I am compelled to respond just to try and put the rumors to rest." But don't some of us wish she was, even just so she can stick it to Tom Cruise??

Get your barf bags ready, it's Star Jones...

eyes = Bambi

mouth= braying donkey

flattened tits= Pancake House

being fired from The View? Priceless

Despite getting her wrinkly elephant ass fired from The View, Star Jones is adamant about putting her unpleasant face in front of the camera. I almost choked on my vodka when I was scrolling through the channels and landed at HGTV only to see her saggy jowls and buggy eyes hosting “House Hunters”-- a show I used to enjoy. As every cloud has it's silver lining, she is only guest hosting for one week.

Apparently people like you and me were feverishly writing and calling and protesting, sending bomb threats and staging a sit-in in front of the ABC studios because we couldn’t stand her constant blabbering and self serving spewage. All right, let's not beat around a bush: we hated her. With a passion reserved for wine and love making.

I felt like Pete Doherty on a crack binge laying in a dark alley with the head spins when I read this: “CNN and Fox News Channel have approached Reynolds about hosting jobs.”

WHAT?

STAR JONES is being courted by freakin CNN and Fox news? The apocalypse is upon us! Run for your lives!! What’s next, Ryan Seacrest taking over Anderson Cooper's job?

Star might even get a high paying job as a legal analyst on one of the many news shows. I simply cannot handle this. I need a strong beverage. NOW. Her power is so strong she turned a gay man straight and made Barbara Walters fill her diaper in a matter of seconds. Yet I still cannot stand her.

What I could handle is Star being on the Surreal Life 7 along side Howard Stern and Rosie O’ Donnell. Tell me that shit wouldn’t be hot?!

Tripping over Longwhoria

After being photographed without makeup last week, Longwhoria gets the last laugh on the paparazzi when a 6'8" photographer fell on a$$. No word if he suffered any injuries, but we can say his ego suffered a major blow.

TMZ

Have a boob

Brittany Murphy


Your favorite

"The Groomsmen" World Premiere

Eminem pees then punches random dude

(Miad)

Did he wash his hands first? Word is Eminem beat up some guy at a titty bar on 8 Mile Road in Detroit Wednesday night.

"Miad J" said he was hit by the rapper at about 1 a.m. Thursday at Cheetahs. Miad says he was in the men’s room, peeing next to Eminem, when another man entered the men’s room and started to talk to the rapper.

He says one of Eminem’s bodyguards told the man to be quiet. Miad says he then asked the bodyguard to ease up on the "star struck man" in the restroom. Don't poke the bear!

"Eminem got done and boom," Miad recounts. "He started swinging."

"I wasn’t even expecting it," Miad said. "I was just minding my own business, taking a leak." After he was punched, Miad says Eminem left the club and Cheetah’s bouncers threw Em's bodyguards out of the club.

When a car in Em’s entourage was pulling out from the club, witnesses tell police the rapper known as Trick Trick pulled out a gun and waved it around, but he didn't point it anyone.

ONTD

Say something nice

Haylie Duff....hmmm, she would make a great Proactiv spokeswhore!

Jessica tells Nick, "I'm sorry I couldn't be the wife you wanted me to be."

Hmmm...Was it too much for Nick to ask his wife not to fuck Johnny Knoxville while on location? Even though gal pal Eva Longoria is said to be throwing Jessica Simpson a "Divorced and Loving-It" party at L.A.'s fabulous El Cholo restaurant (crazy good margaritas BTW), that isn't stopping Jessica from taking time to reflect on a once perfect marriage that came crashing down on her in burning flames. The National Enquirer has mysteriously obtained contents to a letter said to be written by Jessica Simpson to Nick Lachey the day after their divorce became finalized. Jessica reportedly wrote to Nick:
"I am so sorry, Nick. Sorry I couldn't be the wife you wanted me to be. Sorry we couldn't have tried harder. But most of all I'm sorry I lost you. Know that a part of me will always love you, Nick. Always. And a part of you will always be in my heart."
I don't know how The National Enquirer got their hands on a private letter like this. My guess is that since the letter has more than 3 words in it, I'm sure Jessica had several misspelled scratch copies of it that ended up in her trash. I can just see Papa Joe on his hands and knees digging through all the crap in Jessica's trash bins, dirty and looking for shit to sell to the tabloids so he can continue to sell out his daughter in an effort to save her public image! Go take a shower Joe!

Source: The National Enquirer

LA Opening "Waist Down - Skirts by Miuccia Prada"

Eva Mendes




Blohan


MK Olsen




N Richie


Paris & Kim Kardashian


Rebecca Romijn


Dita Von Teese




Courtney Love


Nikki Hilton


Heather Graham

Hot Video!

by Lahoma00

Chloe Sevigny quote of the day

"I shaved my head when I was 17. I sold it for $500 to a famous Broadway wigmaker...My mother and brother were so thrilled, because my hair had always been so greasy, and I always wore it in my face."

The CAPTION THIS CONTEST WINNER for July 13th

MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen does Dress Barn
Bre

Birthday Sluts

Matthew Fox (40)
Joel Silver (54)
Tommy Mottola (56)
Vincent Pastore (60)
Polly Bergen (75)
Harry Dean Stanton (80)

HSL of the Day!

Amanda Lepore

MK Heart London

First of all, London is really hot. Seriously, I'm packing up my skinny jeans and totally moving here. I haven't found Jordan yet, but I know she lives in Brighton. That's like 45-minutes from me and there's no way I'm dropping $500 on a cab to go find her ass. Even that big-breasted hooker isn't worth it. OMG did I just say that?

Anyway, when I found out JT was performing here last night I was about to stalk his ass. But then I remembered that since he's tapping Cameron Diaz he's no longer hot. I think her fug totally rubbed off on him. Look at him, he's that nerd in school that was sort of hot, but then when he tried to bust a move he was totally not hot.

I mean, drop the stupid hat already. It doesn't make you more "musical".

She Stole Her Man AND Her Movie

Angelina Jolie will play Mariane Pearl, the widow of slain reporter Daniel Pearl. Bitch went and stole the role from Jennifer Aniston who was originally set to play Mariane.

"The film will focus on the deep collaboration between people around the world in search of Daniel in 2002," Pitt tells PEOPLE. "We hope the film can increase understanding between people of all faiths and portray the story and the people involved as honestly as possible without anger or judgment."

Contrary to reports claiming that Pitt's ex, Jennifer Aniston, was earlier cast as Mariane Pearl, a rep for Pitt and Jolie tells PEOPLE, "Jennifer was never attached to that role. When the project was first brought to Plan B, Jen was a partner in the company at the time." Pitt has been developing the project with Mariane Pearl for two years.

The film will be adapted from Pearl's memoir, A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl, which chronicles her experience after her husband was abducted by Islamic extremists in Pakistan in early 2002. A month later, his captors released a video depicting his murder.

HOT! You know Jennifer Aniston is going to Vodoo doctors and shit to get this thorn in her side removed! But don't mess with Angie! She will steal your man, dignity and what's left of your career. I'm totally waiting for Angie to steal the "Rachel" do, too!

[People]

These Trannies are Hot!

Here are some hot trannies from some movie thing called Trantasia. The one on the far left looks like Janelle from Big Brother. I'd hit it. You know they still got one.

Whatever You Do...Don't Enlarge!

I love me some Shannen Doherty, but DAMN! I guess giving people the beatdown makes you look like you've been given a serious beatdown. Being a bitch is a tough job. Here she is at some Summer TV special thing where she's trying to hawk whatever project she's soon to be fired from.

I Don't Know What Time it is in the US Crumbs

Britney is not craving cheetos [Mollygood]

Nikki Cox...what did you do to your face? [Egotastic!]

Thanks Jesus for make-up [Hollywood Rag]

Chevy Chase is kinda funny [IDLYITW]

Kiki Dunst and Andy Samberg rumors, again [Popsugar]

Xtina's many changes [JustJared]

Deja Vu sucks [A Socialite's Life]

Is Garner knocked up again? [Cityrag]

Alicia Silverstone is Fucking Clueless

Betty Crocker takes a break from baking and hits the beach.

Britney's planning a surprise comeback, y'all

Britney Spears is planning a surprise comeback song and video to fire back at her critics, according to celebrity nation. The preggers pop star will reportedly be calling on the "Mona Lisa" alter-ego she created for her Do Somethin' video a few years ago. The new tune is so top secret that Spears is funding it herself. "This is all so top secret I don't even think Britney's record company knows about the project," an insider says. Well, they do now...

Madonna to Lohan, "Let me be your spirit guide!"

Madonna is trying to counsel young Hollywood into taking up Kabbalah. She was crushed and a little pissed when she spent thousands of dollars on getting Britney Spears into Kabbalah only to have Brit discard the religion once she popped out her puffy pastry of a baby, Sean.

Now Madge is sinking her talons into Linsday Lohan who confessed to having a virtual carousel of men. She said she was trying to find herself but really, Bruce Willis? That coupling was so nasty, I vomit and have diarreha at the thought. Madonna has convinced even herself that Lindsay needs her and needs a new religion but the one Madge should counsel is Lindsay's father because Linds may have VD but he's behind bars. Who's worse off, hmmmm?

Madonna has even christened Lindsay Rose. Because Firecrotch is not a suitable Kabbalah name. Or maybe it was taken. Either way, next time you see Madonna and Lindsay, you must refer to them as Esther and Rose. Is that cute? I don't think so. Although I'm kind of hoping you start calling me Wilma. Old lady names are hot shit!

Hey, if you are searching for something to believe in, a white track suit and red string is way better than a brain sweep, a mind clear and a medula oblongata reprogram that Tom Cruise is so fond of.

Christie and Cook... Kaput!

Christie's face is pulled tighter than my butt at the thought of anal sex. Eeek!

Just when you think you have the secrets to the universe all figured out, Christie Brinkley has to go and screw it up. I totally thought that the key to eternal happiness was living in the Hamptons, riding horses and having subtle plastic surgery every other month but Christie has blown that to pieces! Sheesh! Thanks for ruining the fantasy.

She and her sixth (seventh? fourth? ninth?) husband, Peter Cook have just announced their divorce. You mean to tell me that a pretty face and millions in the bank doesn't guarantee a lifelong marriage? Well, why not? She must be hell to live with. I peg her for a bipolar manic depressive. Underneath that bronzed skin lurks a maniac.

Christie should totally hook up with her costar in the infomercial galaxy, Chuck Norris. That would be a hot couple. Or she could go the Heather Locklear route and downgrade to dating a schlumpy funnyman like Jon Lovitz. Hey, he was good enough for Janice Dickinson!

Either way she goes, and lesbo would be kind of hot, I'm sure she will come out of this smelling like a rose and looking Asian. Nothing does a body good like a little nip tuck and a new eye lift.
Hey, is Norm MacDonald single?

naomi campbell strikes again!

oh my goodness! another employee is suing naomi campbell for verbal & physical assault...that supposedly took place on three continents! this is completely insane - this violent & sick bitch needs to be locked away! how many more people can she abuse? this is like the 6th time that she has been accused of this sorta thing! gosh she must wild in person - if i ever see her i am so running the other way...oi vey what a crazy lady! mk from popbytes - over & out - xxoo!

Paris thinks skinny people are gross

On TRL today, from Smart.




From Contact Music:

"A lot of women are too thin. I think the ones who are getting really skinny look gross."

Debbie Matenopoulos returns to the View

by Lahoma00



Things just get weirder down at the View! Debbie Matenopulnuts is set to guest host the show later this month. If you remember, her ass was fired back in 1998! I've gotta see this---I hope she smacks down Barbara, then gets into it with Hasselbeck!

RIP Red Buttons

1919 - 2006

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Got my wig and my glove, let's roll! Beyonce on TRL yesterday

khia goes all gangstress

hey kids - its MK again from popbytes and i know our dear dlisted MK is a huge fan of dirty rap diva ms. khia who just released her latest album yesterday called gangstress - below is a hot track for your listening pleasure...i've been called a bitch - let's just say i wouldn't blast this at your day job...enjoy!

listen to khia's i've been called a bitch

Best wax couple goes to....

Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth at the "Superman Returns" London Premiere

Kate Hudson quote of the day

"If anybody is in the business to get famous, they ought to get out, because everybody falls off the shortlist eventually. Everybody."

Kate Hudson

Pete Doherty was here!

So when I read that Pete Doherty was going clean, I started to go through withdrawl. I love the nut and his crazy antics and I was sincerely afraid that would come to end.



But boy was I wrong! OMG I so love this man!

Splash News

Who's Ready for more STD's?

Laguna Beach Season 3 begins August 16th with a whole new web of lies, drinking, smoking, bitching, and Prada purses. I hope someone gets knock-up this season.

What an un-color coordinated mess.
......and make sure you check out my blog The People We Love to HATE

Chad Lowe: "That bitch betrayed me!"

Hey all you fellow D listers, Tabloid Whore stopping in! Thanks for putting up with my guest shit while Michael K is off playing around in Europe. I know nothing compares to the untouchable words of Michael K, but I hope I can keep you somewhat entertained in his absence. Trust me, not reading posts from him every day is as painful for me as it is for all of you. Here's the latest dirt on Chad Lowe and that narc ex of his!

Although Hilary Swank's lawyers are insisting that she warned Chad Lowe ahead of time (oh why thank you, Hilary) about spilling his alleged coke habit to Vanity Fair magazine, sources close to Lowe are saying that Chad totally feels "betrayed" by that back-stabbing, "I gotta make it on the cover of Vanity Fair" ex-wife of his. According to US Weekly, Chad, who has reportedly been off the pixie sticks for 3 years now, has told friends he "was pretty surprised that Hilary would bring (his problem) into the equation" during her interview with Vanity Fair, and "isn't ashamed of his struggle, but he really wishes Hilary wouldn't have talked publicly now." So true. Everyone still seems baffled as to why, when Hilary was confronted by the Vanity Fair reporter about Chad's alleged substance abuse, started flapping her big gums instead of saying a simple, "no comment."

Ok, some people are speculating that Hilary opened her mouth so she could land the cover of the magazine, but again, her lawyer is denying those claims. Hey, I liked Hilary Swank before all this mess, but something sounds fishy to me. Not to be mean (ok, I will be), but no matter how good an actress people might think she is, every time I see the girl I think of a dude for a split second. I'm sorry, but she's the one who strapped her tits down to play a girl pretending to be a boy in Boys Don't Cry. I can't help it that I still see her as a man. Since I know I can't be the only one who feels this way, you gotta wonder what it took for her people to convince Vanity Fair to give her the cover of the magazine, in a bikini no less.

Source: Fox23

gah!

White trash smack down

Brothers Nick and Aaron Carter got into a fist fight on Monday, the night before they announced their new E! reality show "House of Carters"...MK would totally think that is hot

When asked why, Nick told People, "Eh, we're brothers, it happened." Aaron said, "Yeah, we're brothers, but this time ..." He showed off a bruise near his hairline, above his left eye.

"Aaron jumped me and I jumped him back," Nick said. Their sister, Angel, said a cameraman broke up the fight. "You'll see it on the show," said Aaron.

Would you pay $20,000 to see KFed?

Shockingly, people actually pay KFed to represent their brands. As reported on celebrity nation, Kevin Federline's new money-making venture involves pimping himself out for hire, and he allegedly charges up to $20,000 for cameo appearances at events. Not so shocking - his new gig reportedly has his wife's seal of approval (she must get tired of dishing out that credit card to cover his ass). According to In Touch Weekly, KFed earned $250,000 for endorsing Blue Marlin clothing and $25,000 for appearing at Virgin Mobile's Save the Penny campaign. The magazine also says that a line of jeans and beach jewelry are on KFed's list of things to do.

Wubba Wubba Wubba

by Lahoma00



Hot flashback: Downtown Julie Brown! Remember this bitch? I love when she used to say "Peace, Love and GOSSIP!"

Sienna Miller is Red

Close but no cigar bitch.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for July 12th!

Paris Hilton invites her young cousin, Emily, to observe her monthly enema.
medusa

Keira defends her fried eggs

Keira Knightley claims American publications refuse to feature cover stars with boobs smaller than a C-cup and have been enhancing her A-cup kiwi's by two sizes using computers. No!!

Knightley says of a US promotional poster for movie King Arthur, "Those things certainly weren't mine. I remember we had an interesting discussion when they said, 'We want to make them slightly larger and you'll get approval,' and I was like, 'Ok, fine. I honestly don't give a shit.'"

"I did one magazine and found out you're not actually allowed to be on a cover in the US without at least a C cup because it turns people off. Apparently they have done market research and found that women want to see no less than a C cup on other women. Isn't that crazy? So they made my tits bigger for that as well."

Denise and her micro Charlie

[X17]

Super Uma

Uma Thurman at the New York Premiere of My Super Ex-Girlfriend

The scary return of Brit

Brit Spears told Bazaar mag, when pregnant, "you don't feel the most beautiful all the time." She says pregnancy is "empowering", but the first time around she was all paranoid. That explains a lot...

"With this one, I was like, I've just got to wing it," she said. "It was weird for me at first because of who I am. Wherever you go, they expect you to look a certain way. I'm not supposed to be this big huge pregnant superstar." But you are!

She said baby Sean is a real headbanger and he has inspired her to design a new line of baby clothes. Awww, saggy baby jeans and tiny wife beater tshirts. "Hopefully, next year we'll have a fashion show, maybe at Disney World," she said. What the hell? Release the clowns!

"After this baby," she says, "I'm going to get really intense with it." She "can't wait" to perform again, "but I really have to take my time and do it right and be safe," she says. "Actually, not that safe. When you perform, you have to be dangerous." Scared yet? Here....

She is planning on hitting the studio to collaborate with Federline! "I'm so proud of Kevin," she says. "He's been working so hard on his own album since I got pregnant with Preston. I'm so lucky. He's a doll; he's adorable."

HSL of the Day!

Della Reese

Birthday Sluts

Harrison Ford (64)
Corey Clark (26)
Ashley Scott (29)
Deborah Cox (32)
Jack Spade (32)
Gerard Levert (40)
Fatboy Slim (43)
Cameron Crowe (49)
Louise Mandrell (52)
Didi Conn (55)
Cheech Marin (60)
Patrick Stewart (66)

spelling saga - enter the ex-con

hey kids! it's MK from popbytes - coming to you on the lovely & saucey dlisted - our dear michael k was so kind to invite us guest bloggers to take over while he is off in jolly old london seeking out that jordan character like a heat missle...

anyways continuing on the whole penniless tori spelling saga - we have a new character! mark nathanson an ex-con (convicted of tax evasion and fraud) who is a good friend to ms. candy spelling and escorts her all about town...so the plot thickens (at least in my head) when tori sees mr. nathanson as a threat to her due mega-fortune - she decides to off him before he can twist her own mother against her! but brother randy and mom candy catch wind of tori's devious plans and have her locked away in a local mental asylum...which happens to be the third floor 85th bedroom of the spelling mansion! this is such a drama that aaron might have loved & produced!

popbytes out for now but stay tuned here as there are a bunch of other super awesome bloggers that will be mixing it up here for the next ten days! [thanks to STAR for the scan]

London Bound!

I am out of here! I will be on vacation starting like right now and ending on July 25th! I will be going to London to stalk Jordan. Once I get kicked out of London, I will head to Greece to find Peter Andre's hometown. I will be posting every once and a while, but don't fret I have put together a hot group of bloggers to keep you entertained while I'm stuffing my bones with fish and chips or whatever the hell they eat out there. Be nice to them, cause hos are working it for me.

Your All-Star Guest Bloggers are:

Celebrity Nation
Crunk + Disorderly
Distressed Jeans of the Conversation Blogs
Gabsmash
Lahoma00
OMG Blog
The People We Love to Hate
Popbytes
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Smart
Tabloid Whore

I will miss you hos and will check in later. I'm off to organize a Welcome to England party for myself starring Jordan and Kerry Katona cutouts.

Afternoon Crumbs

Michael Douglas and his son are into water sports [A Socialite's Life]

KFed and his baby mama get together [Crunk + Disorderly]

Natalie Portman NOT going nude, oh joy [Egotastic!]

WTH is Fishsticks wearing? [Popsugar]

A day in the life of Britney Spears [Popbytes]

I wish a house would fall on Star [TMZ]

Rihanna shakes that ass [Hollywood Tuna]

I guess Carnie Wilson's gastric bypass didn't work? [Just Jared]

Brooke Burke and Kelly Monaco get shaved [IDLYITW]

Heidi Klum is pregnant again?! Where was I? [Hollywood Rag]

She Needs More Than Acting Lessons

Mischa Barton wants to be a true thespian and will spend the month of July taking classes at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. Mischa Barton was told by director Richard Attenborough that she needed training if she wanted to take her career to the next level. He directed her in a film recently.

Let's be honest. This ho will never be able to act. I don't care if she takes lessons for years from Uta Hagen, it will never happen. She's stiffer than Tommy Lee's dick!

[Us Weekly]

The Old Lady Syndrome Traps Another Victim!!!

Yup, that's Claire Danes and she looks like the walking dead! I guess homewrecking has finally caught up with her. Eeek!

Beyonce Loves Cereal

Beyonce had to lose tons of weight for her role as a Diana-Ross-like character in Dreamgirls. What was her diet secret? No she didn't eat only purple foods like Mimi. She thinks eating cereal is the trick.

She said: "My big fitness trick is cereal. I love it - granola cereal in particular."

She should've chewed on ice cubs instead. Her thighs are still huge. I'm only saying!

[Female First]

Airbrushed Hands

Hey, I'm not hating on Madge for getting her hands airbrushed. I mean if my hands looked like I should be holding Snow White's poison apple, I'd get photoshop artists on the case pronto!

[The Mirror]

Is Suri a Starbucks Cup?

Katie Holmes seems to be carrying around a Starbucks cup a lot lately. Here she is in Telluride, CO without Suri. This only leads me to believe that Suri Cruise is indeed a Starbucks beverage.

Did Someone Get Lipo?

Jessica Simpson covers her stomach the entire time while being photographer in Mexico. Is she pulling a Bai Ling here and posing for no reason?

Blohan Gives the Performance of Her Career

They don't call her Blohan for nothing! Here she is doing a scene for Georgia Rule. I'm sure she spent hours and hours researching this very moment. Her whole life has "come" to this! I bet you she swallowed. Do you think that actor is getting paid enough? I mean, his health is seriously at risk.

[Splash]

HSL of the Day!

Joanna Cassidy

Birthday Sluts

Michelle Rodriguez (28)
Gareth Gates (22)
Anna Friel (30)
Kristi Yamaguchi (35)
Lisa Nicole Carson (37)
Rolonda (47)
Jennifer Saunders (48)
Cheryl Ladd (55)
Brian Grazer (55)
Richard Simmons (58)
Christine McVie (63)
Bill Cosby (69)

King of Beers!

Some funny-ass hoodlums in Houston, TX showed their skills on this billboard. I'm a total fan of their work.

[BWE]

The Simple Life 5

E! has renewed The Simple Life for a 5th season and hopefully FINAL season. The current season features Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie filmed separately as they take over the role of "mom" in different households. The next season will air in 2007 and no word yet on the format.

Nicole Richie also recently admitted that the show as a complete fraud and that she's playing a character. Duh.

She said: "“Paris plays the bombshell who doesn't know a lot of things, and I play the jokester. That's what the show'’s about."

"I'm very used to working with somebody who I don't get along with. Work is work."

Hopefully the fifth season will be one episode and features these whores playing a game of Russian roulette.

[Reality Blurred]

The Snakes on a Plane Theme Song!

The Snakes on a Plane soundtrack (yes such a thing exists) will arrive in stores on August 15th. Here's the theme song by Cobra Starship. Eeek...

A Classic Returns!

Flavor of Love 2 debuts next month on Vh1. I seriously can't wait! Dlisted's own Jenesis is part of the cast. She's the hot ho in the red dress. She won't spill any info on it, cause ho doesn't want to get sued....but she promises one hot (and drunk) season!

[Popbytes]

So Italy Won?

I guess Italy won that thing where you win like some kind of Trophy for kicking or throwing some kind of ball that's white and black. Lenny Kravitz seems excited. Is he Italian? I heard his penis is.

Afternoon Crumbs

Paula from The Real World doesn't eat food, but she eats people [BWE]

Avril Lavigne tries to be glam, again [Hollywood Tuna]

Will somebody please sink this boat? [IDLYITW]

Michael Douglas' makeover [Cityrag]

Hayden Christensen is drunk and gay [Just Jared]

Jake and McConagay are totally doing it [Popsugar]

Is Natalie Portman Indy bound? [Egotastic!]

Emily Blunt told to become anorexic for Prada movie [Celebrity Nation]

The new twist in the Suri Cruise birth certificate saga [TMZ]

Kiki comes back home and is still ugly [Hollywood Rag]

Goodbye Syd Barrett!

1946 - 2006

The English Britney Spears

Keira Knightley walks the streets of London without shoes. Too bad she didn't step on a needle, the dumb cow!

[Splash]

Drunkie Chan

Jackie Chan is in big trouble in little China! The action-star caused chaos at a Jonathan Lee concert in Hong Kong.

Chan suddenly jumped on the stage Monday night and demanded a duet with Lee. He then tried to conduct the band but stopped and restarted the music several times, the newspaper reported.

As the awkward interruption dragged on, audience members started to heckle Chan, who replied with an insult, according to the report.

A spokeswhore for Jackie had no comment.

I don't know why the audience was shutting him up! That sounds like a hot concert. A drunk Jackie Chan busting moves and trying to sing along to some Chinese song. Damn, screw Mimi...I want tickets to that tour!

[Washington Post] [Thx Mara]

You Are What You Eat

[x17]

RIP June Allyson

by Lahoma00



I'm just devastated with the news that June Allyson has passed away. She was a big screen siren in the 40s, but I don't give a crap about that. I know her and love her as the spokeswoman for adult diapers--Depends! June showed the world that you can still take a piss in your pants as an adult and hold your head high!

I'll miss her ass. RIP June!

Separated at Birth

Reunited!!!

[Thx DobryDen]

You'll Know This is True When You See a Pig Flying Outside Your Window

The world will stop spinning if this ever happens....

Paris Hilton is giving up sex for one full year.

She said: "I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person.

"Every time I have a boyfriend, I'm just so romantic, and I'll put all my energy into the guy, and I don't really pay attention to myself."

Basically, her doctors told her that she can't put anything else in her vagina or it will explode. I don't think she knows that doing it in the mouth and ass is still considered "sex".

[Female First]

Brokevag Mountain

We have a Razzy frontrunner everybody! Bandidas is a cowboy movie starring Salma Hayek and Penny Cruz. Here are some promo shots in what looks more like a porn movie than a feature film. I can smell the lesbian action from here. I don't need to tell you what lezzy action smells like, but I'm sure there are thousands of cats scratching at the walls of that studio.

Meg & Daisy!

Poor Daisy look traumatized. I guess I would be too if I had to look at that hatchet-face all day. Oh and by hatchet-face I mean Meg Ryan.

Johnny Depp Loves Barbie

Johnny Depp has a son and a daughter and has admitted that through them he has learned the joys of Barbie. He confessed that playing these bimbo dolls has become one of his favorite things to do.

"I do like playing with Barbies. It's a great thing to do with your kids.

"Once, I was exploring different characters with the Barbies and my daughter didn't like it. At one point she said, 'Dad, please just stop, don't do that, just do your regular voice'."

What a fag! OMG, why couldn't I have had a father like that? I was that little boy that played with Barbie dolls all by himself. If only Johnny was there to be the voice of the brunette one. I mean, who wants to be the brunette?

[Female First]

Size 26?!!!?

I don't know what's more laughable, a photographer following Tara Reid around while she shops or the fact that she wears size 26 jeans. She probably buys two pairs of them, one for each leg. I'm joking! She's not fat, just annoying.










[Teddy and Moo]

For the Sake of Art!

Natalie Portman will show her breasts and butt in the movie Goya's Ghosts. The biopic chronicles the life of Spanish painter Francisco Goya played by Javier Bardem and directed by Milos Forman. Nat will play his muse.

She previously got nekkid in Closer, but begged Mike Nichols to not use the footage.

She has said in the past that she doesn't think she would ever go nude.

Well money talks, bitch! Just kidding, she did it for her art! I'm glad she's doing it, this ho needs to loosen up.

[Page Six]

Angelina Jolie Still Hates Her Father

Jon Voight and Angelina Jolie are said to still be at odds. Jon was hoping to reconcile with his daughter so that he may meet his granddaughter, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Jolie previously talked about how she is still hurt and upset with her father for cheating on her mother several times during their marriage. Jon is looking forward to seeing Shiloh very soon.

He said: "I never saw Angie's face more happy," he said. "Deep, deep peace that never has been there before until this. Beautiful, beautiful look. Both Brad and Angie looked so happy."

He added, "I haven't seen Shiloh yet. I'm looking forward to it."

Referring to Jolie, Voight said, "And no, we haven't spoken. ... I don't, I didn't have any communication with her."

Angie is still upset over this? Doesn't being a goody-too-shoes ambassador teach her to forgive and forget?

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Vince Vaughn is currently in talks to star in Against All Enemies for director Paul Haggis (Crash). The political drama is based on the memoirs of Richard Clarke. Against All Enemies chronicles how the Bush administration handled the al-Qaida threat both before and after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Sean Penn is expected to star as Clarke. [THR]

Ian McShane (Deadwood) will join Renee Zellweger in Case 39. The story centers on a social worker (Zellweger) who saves an abused girl from her parents but later discovers things are not as they seem. Shooting begins this summer in Vancouver. [Variety]

American Idol auditions will begin August 8th in Los Angeles. Producers will visit seven cities, starting about a week earlier than last year, going from The Forum in Inglewood, Calif. (Aug. 8), to San Antonio (Aug. 11), East Rutherford, N.J. (near New York City - Aug. 14), Birmingham, Ala. (Aug. 21), Memphis (Sept. 3) and Minneapolis (Sept. 8) before winding up in Seattle on Sept. 19. Auditions are open to anyone ages 16-28.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for July 10th!

Knowing that "You, Me, and Dupree" is going to tank, Owen Wilson is desperately trying to promote the shit out of it. - Hotterthanyou

HSL of the Day!

Veronica Hamel

Birthday Sluts

Justin Chambers (36)
Lil' Kim (31)
Michael Rosenbaum (34)
Lisa Rinna (42)
Suzanne Vega (46)
Richie Sambora (47)
Sela Ward (50)
Giorgio Armani (77)
David Kelly (77)

The CAPTION THIS WINNER Contest for July 11th

The "Little Man" projected demographic -RichardLewis

Runner-up:

Ken Paves' work here is done.- tendercavity

Thank God for Foundation

JESUS! No that's not some evil elf coming to steal your children...it's Eva LongWHORIA! Oh yes, it's the face of L'Oreal herself. It should be a crime for this woman to leave her house without a face full of make-up on. DAYUM!

[TMZ]

Hot Dress, But Where are Her Breasts?

I'll admit it, I'm into this. This is like some high fashion shit. The dress is by Lanvin and the hanger is by Bosworth. Here's Kate at the Superman Returns premiere in the city of lights, Paris. Seriously, where are those breasts?

She's Finally Landed a Cosmetics Deal!

Blohan has finally landed a cosmetics deal of a lifetime! She's been trying to land some sort of deal has apparently tried with Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Marc Jacobs to no avail. But now she's got a $2 Million spot in the new Proactive campaign! Snazzy!

The spots began airing today on MTV. She follows in the footsteps of Jessica Simpson, Diddy, Kelly Clarkson and Vanessa Williams.

Can you use Proactiv on your private areas? Because I'm sure she has a lot of bumps in those regions.

[TMZ]

Sienna Miller's Man of the Month

Sienna Miller started dating Hugh Grant while filming Alfie. She was also rumored to have hooked up with Daniel Craig during filming for Layer Cake. She hooked up with Hayden Christensen while filming Factory Girl and now she has a new movie and a new man! Sienna is playing tonsil-hockey with James Franco while shooting Camille in Toronto. The pair have been seen making out all around town.

James is uberhot, so this is an upgrade. However, I'm not sure how she bags so many dudes? She has a face like my foot. She must have a bottomless vag.

[TMZ]

We Shall Not Be Parted

Hollywood's newest trio got together for the second time. Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConagay reunited for a back ride in Los Angeles. I'm thinking these bike rides are very meaningful to them. A little male bonding and by "male bonding" I mean a little ass-to-ass in the bushes.





Update - Click here for a video of Matthew asking for money for sandwiches from photographers. He asked during his ride with these fruits. [Thx Clint]

Denise Richard's Business Hours

I'm not sure what kind of photo shoot Denise Richards is involved in, but I'm not getting the concept. Bathing suits, baby carriages, dry cleaning, big hair and bad make-up?





[x17]

Afternoon Crumbs

Is Madonna roping in Lohan and Simpson? [Popsugar]

Oprah is paying Stedman to keep his yapper shut [Crunk + Disorderly]

Jessica Simpson's Public Affair video [Just Jared]

Kate Hudson's red bikini [Egotastic!]

Jenna Jameson channels Michael Jackson [Hollywood Rag]

Alicia Silverstone is fugly on the beach [Drunken Stepfather]

In case you missed Paris Hilton airing it out [IDLYITW]

Lohan VS. Marla Maples [Hollywood Tuna]

WTF is wrong with Jersey? [FourFour]

Jared Leto steals moves while looking like a tranny [Cityrag]

Where's a Shark When You Need One?

Bai Ling at the beach on July 4, 2006

The world is beautiful

by Lahoma00

A few months ago, Michael K reported that The World, a construction project in Dubai, was soon to open and celebrities were lining up to buy property. Essentially it's a bunch of artificial islands, each named after a country, which together make up a representation of the world. Here's a picture of that shit:



Am I the only one creeped out by this? You know that Parasite is lining up to buy the USA, but the bitch is so stupid she'd probably buy Sri Lanka instead.

Mickey Rourke Needs Help

Mickey Rourke cut off his finger, because he didn't want it anymore.

He said: "I cut my little finger off because I thought I didn't want it. I was angry about something so I decided I didn't need the end of the little finger on my left hand. I didn't cut it off completely - it was still hanging on a tendon - and an English friend, Gary, carefully carried the end of it as we went to hospital to try to rectify the situation. It took the surgeon eight hours to sew it back on. I still can't bend it properly."

I think the real story is that he fingered Parasite Hilton and couldn't take the burning, so he cut that shit off. That's the truth!

[Starpulse]

The Japanese Embrace the Poop

This is why I love the Japanese. They really know how to teach a kid to take a nice BM. Here's this funny cartoon about a very happy poop and how it got its life. This seriously reminds me of how I used to dump in the bath tub and play with it. That's a story for another day during a delicious a meal of meat loaf and mashers. Be sure to watch the end of the video which shows this little boy learning how to make it happen. I really want that yellow handle thing.


[Web Junk 20]

This Thing is Tacky

Gwen Stefani took Kingston out for a day of shopping in a $790 Gucci baby sling. That seriously looks like something you would buy in Chinatown.

[Us Weekly]

Xtina's Without Red Lipstick?!!!?

Did red lipstick become extinct? Is that why Xtina isn't wearing any as she heads for dinner. If you look closely though you can see the remnants of what looks like red lipstick. Maybe her friends and family have finally gotten together and staged an intervention. I know how she feels, it's really hard getting off that stuff.

Oh, It's Just a Coincidence!

KFed is apparently close to signing a deal for Jive Records to distribute his album. Jive Records is currently home to his meal ticket, Britney Spears. Even though KFed is hard at work at his rap album, he is still unsigned.

A source said: "Nothing is definite yet, but it looks like K-Fed is going to keep it all in the family."

He also recently said that the song "Popozao" was a complete joke and it was his way of punk'ing the world.

He said: "At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did,"

"That way, when I come out with my real s**t, people are f**king blown away,"

Does he think we were born yesterday!?! PopoZao was for real and probably the best thing that will ever come out of his mouth!



[Contact Music]

Report: London Shopgirl Found Dead

Superbitch Naomi Campbell was just out looking for some luggage at a London shop called Peter Jones when a salesgirl refused to ring up her credit card. The shop girl didn't believe that it was actually Naomi Campbell and refused to charge the card. Naomi then went into hysterics and had words with the girl. The girl still didn't believe her and refused the credit card. Management tried to get involved, but it was too late and Naomi left the store in tears.

A statement was released: : "There were a lot of people in the store and the situation was humiliating. Naomi was shaking with anger."

In an unrelated story, a London shopgirl was found mutilated to death in her flat. Her death was caused by being repeatedly beaten with a crystal-encrusted device.

[Female First]

Britney Knows a Deal

Britney Spears splashed out most of her money on this $34.00 necklace from Banana Republic. Unfortunately, she forgot to remove the tag.

[Thx Al P]

Jordan Knows How to Put an Outfit Together

Who Isn't This Girl Dating?

Lindsay Blohan is earning her nickname by blowing through half of Hollywood. Since she's probably gone through most of the men in America, she has set her sights on the dudes of England. Rumors are circulating that she is romancing 37-year-old Rhys Ifans. He most notably played the role of Spike opposite Hugh Grant in Notting Hill.

Blohan met Rhys through Kate Moss and is not keen to pack up her blow and move to London.

A source said: "Falling for Rhys was really the icing on the cake for Lindsay. She already loves hanging out with Kate in London. "One of the reasons Rhys appealed is that he's so quirky, bright and refreshing."

She spoke briefly about the mystery man in a recent interview.

"There is a boy I like. I'm sure people will start writing about him soon. He lives in London. It's so hard!"

But just last week Blohan was seen cavorting with a young man in Malibu. As long as you have a penis, a pulse and at least one movie credit...you can get with this.

[LSE]

The Birth Certificate of Suri

TMZ has obtained what they are saying is the real birth certificate of Suri Cruise. The document was filed May 8, 2006 and TMZ has listed several items of note.

First, St. John's Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth. In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later. An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4. The person who signed is labeled "friend." The signature is not legible.

Also, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate -- Anne Heffernan, RNC -- was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby. But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available. A hospital rep said "normally the doctor signs" but it isn't a requirement.

Finally, the hospital rep said that the circumstances that triggered the eventual signing of the birth certificate were that Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite to obtaining one.

This still is not a picture! I still not believe Suri is real! I can easily doctor this shit up and feed it to the press. I say some shady business is going down. We need to get Jessica Fletcher on the case pronto!

The Dlisted Report

Gwyneth Paltrow will not play the bride from Hell in the Farrelly brother comedy Seven Day Itch. That role has been filled by newcomer Malin Akerman. Akerman most notably had a role on the Lisa Kudrow show The Comeback. She will star opposite Ben Stiller and Michelle Monaghan. Stiller plays a man who hastily marries a young woman he thinks is his perfect mate. As he watches her turn into a nightmare on their honeymoon, he meets another woman who might be his real soulmate (Monaghan). [Variety]

Samuel L. Jackson will star in Jumper for director Doug Liman (Mr. and Mrs. Smith). Based on the Steven Gould novel, Jumper follows a kid from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities. Shooting will take place in Tokyo, Rome, Toronto and New York. [THR]

Angelina Jolie will provide the voice of a martial-arts master named Tigress in Kung-Fu Panda. Jack Black plays Po the Panda, who slings noodles in a restaurant and loves kung fu but doesn't have the body for it. When Po is revealed as the Chosen One to save the animals, Tigress must get the slacker panda into fighting form. Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu and Jackie Chan also provide voices from the film. It is set to open May 2008. [USA Today]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest garnered the fourth-biggest opening ever bringing in $132 Million. It also broke the record for the biggest single day opening on Friday with $55 Million. Pirates caused Superman Returns to drop nearly 59% bringing in only $21.9 Million for #2. The Devil Wears Prada came in at #3 with an impressive $15.6 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for July 7th!

"...and, the winner 'of who can make worse movies than adam sandler and rob schneider' is..." - Tim

HSL of the Day!

Heidi from The Hills

Birthday Sluts

Gale Harold (37)
Jessica Simpson (26)
Adrian Grenier (30)
Andrew Firestone (31)
Sofia Vergara (33)
Fiona Shaw (48)

Is Madonna Leaving the Kabbalah?

Que?! Say it's so! Is Madonna getting ready to leave her beloved religion? Could she possibly turn away from the one thing that she says has turned her life around. Is it possible?

The pop world's most unusual partnership may be over. Madonna and Kabbalah, the once obscure sect she championed - and upon which she has lavished millions of dollars - appear to be on the verge of separation. Close friends say the singer has talked of loosening her red Kabbalah wristband and is wearying of the mystical Jewish belief system. She has decided to give it up, they say, having tired of the financial burden and the effect her strong beliefs have had on her relationship with husband Guy Ritchie.

Madonna is also said to be concerned that following Kabbalah separates her children from more conventional customs such as Christmas, which they do not currently celebrate.

If true, it would mark an extraordinary end to Madonna's high-profile crusade on behalf of the cause she adopted the best part of a decade ago - and a serious financial blow to the organisation that promotes it, the Kabbalah Centre. Madonna has recruited other wealthy stars to the cause, most recently the actress Lindsey Lohan, and has bought a multi-million pound base for the sect close to her home in London.

The announcement would also come out of the blue. Madonna has arranged for tickets to be set aside for Kabbalah leaders at dates on her current world tour. She was photographed leaving the Kabbalah Centre in New York on Friday with her family. Ritchie is said to be making a documentary about Kabbalah, but it is unclear whether this will be critical or positive.

Yesterday a spokeswoman for Madonna, when asked about her support for Kabbalah waning, said: "As far as I am aware, it is completely untrue." The singer's links to the version of Kabbalah that she follows are so intimate now - personally and financially - that withdrawal would be difficult, complicated and initially kept very private. The departure of Esther - the adopted Hebrew name by which she is known to fellow believers - would almost certainly provoke lengthy and expensive legal wrangling.

This needs to be true! But it probably isn't. Since finding this boring cult, she's turned into a stiff bitch that constantly has a stick up her ass! However, The K would probably put a hit out on her if she left. She's giving them millions of dollars! Either way, she's fucked!

[The Independent] [Thx Youri]

Say Something Nice

Oksana Bauil: WTF happened? On something nice...um...well.....if her day job doesn't work she could get a job at a Russian strip club.

One Step Closer to Jordan!!!

The most gorgeous and smartest woman in the World, Jordan, actually used a pen to write my name down. This is the most important moment in my life. No I wasn't there, but that's ok. She actually used her Lee-press-ons to hold a pen and scribble my name down. This is even better than my conversation with Hottie!

My friend Jason graciously waited in line to meet my icon and have her sign for me. Jordan was giving a signing in Oxford for her new book, Angel. Yes, the book is half price already, but hey it's her first fiction novel! Sources in the industry are already whispering about this novel possibly winning the Pultizer.

So, Jason had a small conversation with big boobs that went like this:

Jordan: Where are you from?
Jason: The US
Jordan: I was just there last month.
Jason: I know!
Jordan: How?
Jason: Well, my friend Michael K, who you are signing this book for right now runs this blog and he loves you.
Jordan: What blog?
Jason: Dlisted

Jordan goes silent

Jason: When is your album coming out?

-Jason gets shooed off by her handlers-

OMG! Jordan actually heard the words Michael K and Dlisted. I now can die. When I can go to London next week, my sole purpose will be to find Jordan and kiss her foundation-ridden cheek! She probably hates me but that has never stopped stalkers in the past!

HSL of the Week: CoCo

Age: 27
Birthday: 1979
Birth Name: Nicole Austin

Original Date of HSL of the Day: July 7, 2006

Claim to Fame: CoCo started off as a nude model, before marrying her pimp Ice-T and showed up to events in nothing more than dental floss and pasties.

Where is she now? You can see her tonight on E!'s THS: Hip Hop Wives or you can probably find her in any dark alley sucking dick.

Why is she HSL of the Week? There are literally thousands of reasons why I love CoCo. She's the American dream! Only in America can zero brain cells and fake breasts make you famous. Well America and England.

Where the Bird Flu Came From

Halle's Boy Toy is Really Hot

Halle Berry and her arm candy, Gabriel Somethingwhocares, showed off how good looking they are outside her Hollywood Hills home. She is all smiles even though she's currently involved in an ugly divorce with Eric Benet. She recently said that she doesn't want to pay a dude who cheated on her at least 27 times.

Eric responded with: "If she said that, that I cheated on her 27 times, then she is simply lying. Straight out, that's a lie and a gross, gross exaggeration of what happened in our marriage. I've admitted my indiscretion and apologized and took responsibility. I think maybe it's time for Halle to take some responsibility, instead of constantly casting herself in this victim mode and implying her commitment to our marriage was without flaw. I have refrained from ongoing attacks on her and she needs to do the same. She should leave me and my daughter, India, in peace."

Yawn, he's a bore. He already admitted to being a nympho. Anyway, Halle looks happy now and let's hope this one doesn't screw her over. Actually, let's hope he does so I have something hot to write about.

Even Nicole Kidman Shops at Target

Newlyweds, Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban, shopped among the "regular" people at Target in Nashville yesterday. It looks like they picked up a mop and some cleaning supplies. These two are in love and finally Nicky has found a regular dude. Yes this new regular dude has more highlights than her, but hey!

Brigitte Nielsen Marries Hubby #5

Brigitte "Gitte" Nielsen, 43, married Mattia Dessi, 28, in Malta yesterday. This time it is legal and official. Gitte previously married Mattia in March, but it wasn't legal, because she was still married to her 4th husband.

Last year's ceremony "was more like an official engagement," Nielsen's longtime friend and manager, Luigi Balduini, tells PEOPLE. "They put it on the news that it was a marriage, but it was an engagement, because she was still legally married."

This time though, it's the real deal. Nielsen "is pretty excited," Balduini tells PEOPLE. "She is like a little child. She is pretty happy."

Foofy Foo did not attend. I give this marriage one year tops!

[People]

HSL of the Day!

Linda Dano

Birthday Sluts

Courtney Love (42)
Fred Savage (30)
Kelly McGillis (49)
Tom Hanks (50)
Jimmy Smits (51)
Chris Cooper (55)
John Tesh (55)
O.J. Simpson (59)
Brian Dennehey (68)