Dlisted: 06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Would You Hit It?


Elijah Wood at the London Film & Comic Convention on July 1, 2006

Another Hollywood Bastard Baby?



Is Naomi Watts knocked up? The Australian media is reporting that the low-rent Nicole Kidman is expecting a baby with Liev Schreiber. She was in her homeland for Nicky's wedding and only wore baggy clothes and leggings. She was also seen earlier last month leaving a Brentwood, CA fertility clinic.

Naomi attended a benefit at Central Park in NYC on Wednesday night and there was a noticeable bump. However, she could just be a frump. Here's the pics, you decide. I say she isn't.



[Monsters and Critics]

The Hoff is a Cutter?



David Hasselhoff was rushed from his London hotel room to a nearby hospital after giving himself a serious cut during a "shaving" accident on Thursday. He sliced a tendon in his right arm and had to have surgery.

Publicist Judy Katz says the erstwhile Knight Rider hero was attempting a post-workout shave in the gym at London's Sanderson Hotel when he hit his head on a glass object, pieces of which cut into his arm.

While various British media reports claim the offending item was a chandelier (!), Britain's Sun tabloid pegs the culprit as a glass shelf.

"David had just finished working out in the gym at the hotel where he was staying," Katz is quoted in the paper. "He was getting ready to shave and bent down but when he stood up David hit his head on a glass shelf and it shattered.

"Some of the glass got into his hand and cut it quite badly."

The former Speedo-loving Baywatcher was taken from his temporary West End digs--he's in London working on some TV commercials--to St. Thomas Hospital to undergo an operation to repair the severed tendon.

"He's fine," Katz told the Associated Press. "He's out of the hospital and will resume filming tomorrow."


Please, I don't believe that for a second. He's a freak. You know he was having a bad day, turned on some Ani DiFranco, lit some candles, smeared on the goth black eyeliner and presumed to cut. You know all those years of ridicule from having to wear those red speedos just bled away onto the white tile. He couldn't get enough. Oh, say it ain't so! The Hoff can't be a cutter!

[AP] [Thx Dan]

I Want the Beach!!!



I'm jealous of Rachel Hunter. I want to be bathing in the beautiful, crystal blue sea. That's not right! Anyway, I'm pleasantly surprised at her body. I thought she looked like a fat heffer underneath her clothes, but she looks kind of hot. She's seen in Barbados living the life I was meant to have.





[Splash]

This is a Hot Album Cover



This is Khia's (My Neck, My Back) latest album cover. It features her tons of mug shots. The rapper has been arrested for everything from stealing shit to being a bitch.

I must say this is a really hot cover. At least she's nice enough to keep her look fresh for the police cameras.

Behind This Ugly Top



Kelly Clarkson kicked off her tour last night Palm Beach, FL in top fug form. Doesn't she have people telling her that thing around her belly looks like some strange spider web concoction. I mean it's trapping her fat in and I say let the belly be free.







[ONTD]

One Alien Face for Another?



Is Brandy headed to The View? She will join the ladies next week for a couple of episodes. She will fill in for the departed Star Jones. Brandy is enjoying some success with America's Got Talent as a judge. Ever since Star's departure there have been many rumors on who may replace her. A source close to the show says that they are trying out several people and one of them is Brandy.

Brandy has stated that she would like to do more TV work. Yeah since her music career is pretty much dry.

Personally, Brandy has a weird face. She's just as hard to look at as Star. This is TV! We have to look at your face! And I don't want to look at a face that I'm afraid of. Jaws has got nothing on her fugly mug.

[People]

HSL of the Day!



Dirk Benedict

Birthday Sluts



Debbie Harry (61)
Liv Tyler (29)
Sufjan Stevens (31)
Missy Ellliot (35)
Henry Simmons (36)
Karen Mulder (36)
Pamela Anderson (39)
Carl Lewis (45)
Dan Aykroyd (54)
Karen Black (64)
Twyla Tharp (65)
Sydney Pollack (72)
Olivia de Havilland (90)

Special Birthday shout out to Nelson!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Anos Heart Posh


Posh at Milan Fashion Week in January 2006

Posh Beckham has become the poster woman for anorexics everywhere. She is featured on several pro-anorexia websites thanking her for her lollipop head and emaciated figure. Posh has never admitted to having an eating disorder, she's actually denied it. Although, she has confessed to having food issues in the past.

One poster on a pro-ano website said: : "I envy her thin legs and chest. She has beautiful bones sticking out of her chest."

That's kind of serious. I didn't know those kind of websites exsisted. After reading this article I went to find some and that stuff is scary. I guess Posh is finally good at something.

[Hollywood Rag]

The End of an Era



Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are officially over. Their divorce was finalized today and Jessica has returned to just Jessica Simpson instead of Jessica Simpson Lachey.

On Thursday, documents were released in which the former couple asked that retired Superior Court Judge Dana Senit Henry be appointed "for the sole purpose of" ending their marriage. They asked the judge to "bifurcate" the case, meaning to make the divorce official without settling all the financial details.

In fact, money has been a sticking point between the couple. Soon after Simpson filed for divorce last December, Lachey specified that he reserved the right to ask for spousal support, though in a published interview he denied that he planned to ask for alimony.

The end of Simpson and Lachey's marriage concludes the dramatic final chapter in the relationship of the couple who married in 2002 and then starred together in the MTV reality series Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, which chronicled their early, happier days together.


So how much dough did he get? He honestly should get like 90% for putting up with her. Damn, give him everything. She only needs Ken Paves, bleach and bronzer.

[People]

Woody Harrelson Will Choke Yo Ass


Woody Harrelson pulled a Naomi Campbell on a cameraman as he left a L.A. nightclub. The actor who worships weed went crazy and choked a bitch! Damn, it's like that?

Woody Harrelson choked TMZ cameraman Josh Levine late Thursday night as he left a Hollywood nightclub, and the LAPD is conducting a criminal investigation.

The incident occurred at approximately 11:30 p.m. outside Element, a club frequented by celebrities. As Harrelson left with three women and two men, Levine and other photogs began shooting. Harrelson became irritated and asked Levine to stop shooting. Harrelson then walked over to Levine, put his hand on the camera and asked Levine to stop. Levine said "All I'm doing is my job." Harrelson, who appears in "A Prairie Home Companion," then said, "I've asked you to stop, are you going to stop?" and Levine replied, "Not when you ask me like that." The video then shows Harrelson break the camera and the picture goes dead.

Click here and here to watch two videos of Woody freaking out!



[TMZ]

What is Paris Carrying?!



Paris Hilton arrived at London's Heathrow Airport from the city she's named after in France. She arrived with about 20 suitcases. What the hell is she carrying? My first though was condoms, but you know she doesn't use that.



[TMZ]

The Diamond Fashion Show!

by Lahoma00

Now I've seen some gay shit in my life, but this takes the cake. Prepare yourselves for a nine minute extravaganza entitled "The Diamond Fashion Show" from the oft forgotten 1985 special "Night of 100 Stars." Basically it's an all star fashion show where all these sluts come out wearing haute couture. And when I say all star, I mean all star: Jill St. John, Angie Dickinson, Lynda Carter, Diahann Carroll, the amazing Joan Van Ark and the dreaded Morgan Brittany. Also Colleen Dewhurst and Ellen Burstyn--WTF?

My favorite outfits are Deidre Hall (who looks like an ostrich), Jacqueline Bisset (who looks like a shredded Bounty paper towel), and Dlisted favorite Susan Lucci (looking like Gozar from Ghostbusters). Watch how all these sluts twirl and blow kisses, trying to be all kittenish. And prepare yourself for the Grand Finale where Ann-Margaret comes out looking like Queen Amidala.

They need to update this pronto, with beautiful women like Jodie Marsh , Joyce DeWitt, Michael K and Jordan!

Afternoon Crumbs



Charlize Theron and Tobey Maguire reunite [Goldenfiddle]

I think rat tails are hot [Cityrag]

Winona Ryder returns and nobody cares [Egotastic!]

Posh's $3k weave emergency [Popsugar]

Rob Schneider's omen [BWE]

The truth behind the Angelina Jolie shower leak [A Socialite's Life]

Robin Williams wants to be The Joker [IDLYITW]

DJ Am and Richie again?! [Drunken Stepfather]

Jessica and Nick to make it legal again [Hollywood Tuna]

Nicole Richie is the epitome of a lollipop head [Just Jared]

Star Jones apologizes to Joy Behar [Hollywood Rag]

Attack of the Clones!



Maddox & Jenny Shimizu

[Source: Janet Charlton]

Susan Lucci to Replace Star Jones!!!



All My Children star and all-around hotness, Susan Lucci, will replace Star Jones for one week. Susan will join The View next week for a few episodes.

The Insider is reporting that Sheryl Lee Ralph, Vanessa Williams and Gayle King are all in talks to replace star. Other names talked about have been Paige Davis and Ricki Lake.

Another source has said that producers aren't making any decisions until Rosie O'Donnell joins the cast in September. There is a possibility that they won't ever replace Star and how could they? Barbara Walters is back on the show full-time and they may just go on with the four of them.

Turn It OFF!



Parasite Hilton has released yet another single and this one is called Turn It Up. You can listen to it here and it's honestly not that awful. But I'm going to say it's awful, because it's coming from this jizz-filled, piece of trash!

Do They Make Purple Fried Chicken?



Mimi confessed that 3 days a week she only eats purple foods, because they stop wrinkles.

She said: "“It sounds off-the-wall but it'’s a huge injection of healthy food in on ego. Purple products are nature'’s best weapons in the battle against aging. There's a saying that, a plum a day keeps a facelift away."

What kind of schemes is she up to?! Purple foods?! I mean dying a large pizza purple doesn't count Mimi! This ho is nuts. She will do anything, anybody tells her. I should tell her that giving me $5k a day will make her chipmunk-cheeks shrink.

[Entertainmentwise]

Nothing Like Wintour



The Devil Wears Prada opens today nationwide and the film is based on the novel that was written by one of Anna Wintour's former assistants. Meryl Streep plays the "Wintour-like" character in the film, but she insists that she didn't use the Vogue ediatrix as inspiration. Meryl said:

"I know the book was based on an assistant's view of Anna Wintour, but it didn't interest me to do a documentary on Anna Wintour, and I don't know anything about her. I only met her at the first benefit screening. She was a good sport, but I think she'd been told that I don't resemble her. It was much more fun for me to make the uberboss out of a (combination of people), so that's what I did."

[Contact Music]

Not Photoshopped Enough



Hilary Swank somehow landed a job for Guerlain. I'm not sure how, but she did it. The photoshop artists didn't do their job right, because instead of looking decent she looks even more horsely. If they were going for that look, they should've hired My Little Pony Crystal Princess Divine Shine, because that ho has nice features.

Jordan Has Made It!



Jordan partied with the fine folks of England at last night's 8th Annual Tie and Tiara Ball for Elton John. She tried her best to look like elegance and she did! Jordan is a fine lady. Because her breasts are so huge, she had to borrow a gown from one of her tranny friends. But look at her! For one night, she was Cinderella!



Jordan and Peter Andre with Simon Cowell and Jordan with Graham Norton and some fag



Jordan getting ready to clear the plates and with Natalie Imbruglia

Jennifer Aniston is Taking a Film Course at the Learning Annex



Since her acting career isn't going so well, Jennifer Aniston is setting her sights on directing. She confessed to enrolling a film course in preparation for her new role.

She said: "I plan to direct. In fact, I'm taking a course now. You have to be multi-skilled in this job."

Well, she does have a face for that sort of thing.

[Post Chronicle]

Why Am I Posting Pictures of Tawny Kitaen?



Tawny Kitaen is seen here at the opening of Dunkin' Donuts in Toluca Lake, CA. Actually, she's at the premiere of something called Shut Up and Shoot. So, it might as well be the opening of a DD. I hope she waxes down there, because if the hair on her head is any indication on what the hair on her privates look like, it could be a bloody mess.



Denis Leary is My Hero



I personally love people that bash celebrities. I especially love when a celebrity bashes other celebrities. Denis Leary had a few choice words in the August issue of Playboy Magazine.

on Paris Hilton: "She's not very good at homemade porn. And I’m not talking about the way it was filmed. I’m talking about the actual sex.”

on Adam Sandler: He's doing “the same thing over and over . . . playing the retard-goofball crazy guy.”

on the President: “If he’s doing a good job, Keira Knightley gets told, ‘Part of your job is to [bleep] the president . . . then we’ll put you in a big movie.’ ”

Ok I change my mind, he's an effin pig and only sort of funny.

[Us Weekly]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....



WHICH swordsman son of a 60-something movie star has been spreading lice to some young, sexually active Manhattan women? A well-known party girl who recently spent the night with the stud was one victim, and then learned some of her friends were also infested.

I have no clue! Pierce Brosnan's son?

WHICH supermodel has personal assistants sign papers upon employment guaranteeing they won't sue her if things go sour? The agreement stopped one from pursuing a complaint after being pushed out of a moving car a few years back.

DUH! Naomi the Tyrant!

[Page Six]

Someone's Been Disinherited!



The war between Tori Spelling and her family is getting juicier. The family has issued this statement:

"We are deeply saddened that, during our time of loss and grief, we are forced to respond to the media frenzy caused by the mean-spirited and surprising comments made by Tori to the press, just two days after the passing of Aaron."

"As we try to honor his memory with love and respect, the sudden media frenzy she has created at this sensitive time is hurtful and very disturbing. Aaron's legacy deserved pure and unadulterated tribute and recognition which, sadly, has been tainted. "

"Everyone deals with grief in a different way, and since Tori chose not to be here at that time, we believe she is having a harder time dealing with that loss. We understand how difficult it might have been for her to be here, and, perhaps, more difficult for her after she arrived. Aaron loved both his children with all his heart, and he understood how hard it was for her."

They are responding to Tori's comments to the media about how she heard about her father's passing. Tori said that she received a text message on her blackberry from a friend who saw it on the news. Tori later said: "I thought I had some time (to see him). And I was saddened that the news had not come from my mother."

Um....didn't she know her father had a stroke?! Wouldn't any daughter rush to him even if you didn't talk to him. Tori is an ugly-faced, heartless, talentless, piece of filth! Without her family or her father, she would be nothing! She can't act and she's not pretty, she has nothing to offer. Aaron Spelling made Tori and let's hope he destroys her from the grave!!!

[People]



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