Would You Hit It?

Elijah Wood at the London Film & Comic Convention on July 1, 2006

Another Hollywood Bastard Baby?

Is Naomi Watts knocked up? The Australian media is reporting that the low-rent Nicole Kidman is expecting a baby with Liev Schreiber. She was in her homeland for Nicky's wedding and only wore baggy clothes and leggings. She was also seen earlier last month leaving a Brentwood, CA fertility clinic.

Naomi attended a benefit at Central Park in NYC on Wednesday night and there was a noticeable bump. However, she could just be a frump. Here's the pics, you decide. I say she isn't.



[Monsters and Critics]

The Hoff is a Cutter?

David Hasselhoff was rushed from his London hotel room to a nearby hospital after giving himself a serious cut during a "shaving" accident on Thursday. He sliced a tendon in his right arm and had to have surgery.

Publicist Judy Katz says the erstwhile Knight Rider hero was attempting a post-workout shave in the gym at London's Sanderson Hotel when he hit his head on a glass object, pieces of which cut into his arm.

While various British media reports claim the offending item was a chandelier (!), Britain's Sun tabloid pegs the culprit as a glass shelf.

"David had just finished working out in the gym at the hotel where he was staying," Katz is quoted in the paper. "He was getting ready to shave and bent down but when he stood up David hit his head on a glass shelf and it shattered.

"Some of the glass got into his hand and cut it quite badly."

The former Speedo-loving Baywatcher was taken from his temporary West End digs--he's in London working on some TV commercials--to St. Thomas Hospital to undergo an operation to repair the severed tendon.

"He's fine," Katz told the Associated Press. "He's out of the hospital and will resume filming tomorrow."

Please, I don't believe that for a second. He's a freak. You know he was having a bad day, turned on some Ani DiFranco, lit some candles, smeared on the goth black eyeliner and presumed to cut. You know all those years of ridicule from having to wear those red speedos just bled away onto the white tile. He couldn't get enough. Oh, say it ain't so! The Hoff can't be a cutter!

[AP] [Thx Dan]

I Want the Beach!!!

I'm jealous of Rachel Hunter. I want to be bathing in the beautiful, crystal blue sea. That's not right! Anyway, I'm pleasantly surprised at her body. I thought she looked like a fat heffer underneath her clothes, but she looks kind of hot. She's seen in Barbados living the life I was meant to have.





[Splash]

This is a Hot Album Cover

This is Khia's (My Neck, My Back) latest album cover. It features her tons of mug shots. The rapper has been arrested for everything from stealing shit to being a bitch.

I must say this is a really hot cover. At least she's nice enough to keep her look fresh for the police cameras.

Behind This Ugly Top

Kelly Clarkson kicked off her tour last night Palm Beach, FL in top fug form. Doesn't she have people telling her that thing around her belly looks like some strange spider web concoction. I mean it's trapping her fat in and I say let the belly be free.







[ONTD]

One Alien Face for Another?

Is Brandy headed to The View? She will join the ladies next week for a couple of episodes. She will fill in for the departed Star Jones. Brandy is enjoying some success with America's Got Talent as a judge. Ever since Star's departure there have been many rumors on who may replace her. A source close to the show says that they are trying out several people and one of them is Brandy.

Brandy has stated that she would like to do more TV work. Yeah since her music career is pretty much dry.

Personally, Brandy has a weird face. She's just as hard to look at as Star. This is TV! We have to look at your face! And I don't want to look at a face that I'm afraid of. Jaws has got nothing on her fugly mug.

[People]

HSL of the Day!

Dirk Benedict

Birthday Sluts

Debbie Harry (61)
Liv Tyler (29)
Sufjan Stevens (31)
Missy Ellliot (35)
Henry Simmons (36)
Karen Mulder (36)
Pamela Anderson (39)
Carl Lewis (45)
Dan Aykroyd (54)
Karen Black (64)
Twyla Tharp (65)
Sydney Pollack (72)
Olivia de Havilland (90)

Special Birthday shout out to Nelson!

Anos Heart Posh

Posh at Milan Fashion Week in January 2006

Posh Beckham has become the poster woman for anorexics everywhere. She is featured on several pro-anorexia websites thanking her for her lollipop head and emaciated figure. Posh has never admitted to having an eating disorder, she's actually denied it. Although, she has confessed to having food issues in the past.

One poster on a pro-ano website said: : "I envy her thin legs and chest. She has beautiful bones sticking out of her chest."

That's kind of serious. I didn't know those kind of websites exsisted. After reading this article I went to find some and that stuff is scary. I guess Posh is finally good at something.

[Hollywood Rag]

The End of an Era

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are officially over. Their divorce was finalized today and Jessica has returned to just Jessica Simpson instead of Jessica Simpson Lachey.

On Thursday, documents were released in which the former couple asked that retired Superior Court Judge Dana Senit Henry be appointed "for the sole purpose of" ending their marriage. They asked the judge to "bifurcate" the case, meaning to make the divorce official without settling all the financial details.

In fact, money has been a sticking point between the couple. Soon after Simpson filed for divorce last December, Lachey specified that he reserved the right to ask for spousal support, though in a published interview he denied that he planned to ask for alimony.

The end of Simpson and Lachey's marriage concludes the dramatic final chapter in the relationship of the couple who married in 2002 and then starred together in the MTV reality series Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, which chronicled their early, happier days together.

So how much dough did he get? He honestly should get like 90% for putting up with her. Damn, give him everything. She only needs Ken Paves, bleach and bronzer.

[People]

Woody Harrelson Will Choke Yo Ass

Woody Harrelson pulled a Naomi Campbell on a cameraman as he left a L.A. nightclub. The actor who worships weed went crazy and choked a bitch! Damn, it's like that?

Woody Harrelson choked TMZ cameraman Josh Levine late Thursday night as he left a Hollywood nightclub, and the LAPD is conducting a criminal investigation.

The incident occurred at approximately 11:30 p.m. outside Element, a club frequented by celebrities. As Harrelson left with three women and two men, Levine and other photogs began shooting. Harrelson became irritated and asked Levine to stop shooting. Harrelson then walked over to Levine, put his hand on the camera and asked Levine to stop. Levine said "All I'm doing is my job." Harrelson, who appears in "A Prairie Home Companion," then said, "I've asked you to stop, are you going to stop?" and Levine replied, "Not when you ask me like that." The video then shows Harrelson break the camera and the picture goes dead.

Click here and here to watch two videos of Woody freaking out!



[TMZ]

What is Paris Carrying?!

Paris Hilton arrived at London's Heathrow Airport from the city she's named after in France. She arrived with about 20 suitcases. What the hell is she carrying? My first though was condoms, but you know she doesn't use that.



[TMZ]

The Diamond Fashion Show!

by Lahoma00

Now I've seen some gay shit in my life, but this takes the cake. Prepare yourselves for a nine minute extravaganza entitled "The Diamond Fashion Show" from the oft forgotten 1985 special "Night of 100 Stars." Basically it's an all star fashion show where all these sluts come out wearing haute couture. And when I say all star, I mean all star: Jill St. John, Angie Dickinson, Lynda Carter, Diahann Carroll, the amazing Joan Van Ark and the dreaded Morgan Brittany. Also Colleen Dewhurst and Ellen Burstyn--WTF?

My favorite outfits are Deidre Hall (who looks like an ostrich), Jacqueline Bisset (who looks like a shredded Bounty paper towel), and Dlisted favorite Susan Lucci (looking like Gozar from Ghostbusters). Watch how all these sluts twirl and blow kisses, trying to be all kittenish. And prepare yourself for the Grand Finale where Ann-Margaret comes out looking like Queen Amidala.

They need to update this pronto, with beautiful women like Jodie Marsh , Joyce DeWitt, Michael K and Jordan!

Afternoon Crumbs

Charlize Theron and Tobey Maguire reunite [Goldenfiddle]

I think rat tails are hot [Cityrag]

Winona Ryder returns and nobody cares [Egotastic!]

Posh's $3k weave emergency [Popsugar]

Rob Schneider's omen [BWE]

The truth behind the Angelina Jolie shower leak [A Socialite's Life]

Robin Williams wants to be The Joker [IDLYITW]

DJ Am and Richie again?! [Drunken Stepfather]

Jessica and Nick to make it legal again [Hollywood Tuna]

Nicole Richie is the epitome of a lollipop head [Just Jared]

Star Jones apologizes to Joy Behar [Hollywood Rag]

Attack of the Clones!

Maddox & Jenny Shimizu

[Source: Janet Charlton]

Susan Lucci to Replace Star Jones!!!

All My Children star and all-around hotness, Susan Lucci, will replace Star Jones for one week. Susan will join The View next week for a few episodes.

The Insider is reporting that Sheryl Lee Ralph, Vanessa Williams and Gayle King are all in talks to replace star. Other names talked about have been Paige Davis and Ricki Lake.

Another source has said that producers aren't making any decisions until Rosie O'Donnell joins the cast in September. There is a possibility that they won't ever replace Star and how could they? Barbara Walters is back on the show full-time and they may just go on with the four of them.

Turn It OFF!

Parasite Hilton has released yet another single and this one is called Turn It Up. You can listen to it here and it's honestly not that awful. But I'm going to say it's awful, because it's coming from this jizz-filled, piece of trash!

Do They Make Purple Fried Chicken?

Mimi confessed that 3 days a week she only eats purple foods, because they stop wrinkles.

She said: "“It sounds off-the-wall but it'’s a huge injection of healthy food in on ego. Purple products are nature'’s best weapons in the battle against aging. There's a saying that, a plum a day keeps a facelift away."

What kind of schemes is she up to?! Purple foods?! I mean dying a large pizza purple doesn't count Mimi! This ho is nuts. She will do anything, anybody tells her. I should tell her that giving me $5k a day will make her chipmunk-cheeks shrink.

[Entertainmentwise]

Nothing Like Wintour

The Devil Wears Prada opens today nationwide and the film is based on the novel that was written by one of Anna Wintour's former assistants. Meryl Streep plays the "Wintour-like" character in the film, but she insists that she didn't use the Vogue ediatrix as inspiration. Meryl said:

"I know the book was based on an assistant's view of Anna Wintour, but it didn't interest me to do a documentary on Anna Wintour, and I don't know anything about her. I only met her at the first benefit screening. She was a good sport, but I think she'd been told that I don't resemble her. It was much more fun for me to make the uberboss out of a (combination of people), so that's what I did."

[Contact Music]

Not Photoshopped Enough

Hilary Swank somehow landed a job for Guerlain. I'm not sure how, but she did it. The photoshop artists didn't do their job right, because instead of looking decent she looks even more horsely. If they were going for that look, they should've hired My Little Pony Crystal Princess Divine Shine, because that ho has nice features.

Jordan Has Made It!

Jordan partied with the fine folks of England at last night's 8th Annual Tie and Tiara Ball for Elton John. She tried her best to look like elegance and she did! Jordan is a fine lady. Because her breasts are so huge, she had to borrow a gown from one of her tranny friends. But look at her! For one night, she was Cinderella!



Jordan and Peter Andre with Simon Cowell and Jordan with Graham Norton and some fag



Jordan getting ready to clear the plates and with Natalie Imbruglia

Jennifer Aniston is Taking a Film Course at the Learning Annex

Since her acting career isn't going so well, Jennifer Aniston is setting her sights on directing. She confessed to enrolling a film course in preparation for her new role.

She said: "I plan to direct. In fact, I'm taking a course now. You have to be multi-skilled in this job."

Well, she does have a face for that sort of thing.

[Post Chronicle]

Why Am I Posting Pictures of Tawny Kitaen?

Tawny Kitaen is seen here at the opening of Dunkin' Donuts in Toluca Lake, CA. Actually, she's at the premiere of something called Shut Up and Shoot. So, it might as well be the opening of a DD. I hope she waxes down there, because if the hair on her head is any indication on what the hair on her privates look like, it could be a bloody mess.

Denis Leary is My Hero

I personally love people that bash celebrities. I especially love when a celebrity bashes other celebrities. Denis Leary had a few choice words in the August issue of Playboy Magazine.

on Paris Hilton: "She's not very good at homemade porn. And I’m not talking about the way it was filmed. I’m talking about the actual sex.”

on Adam Sandler: He's doing “the same thing over and over . . . playing the retard-goofball crazy guy.”

on the President: “If he’s doing a good job, Keira Knightley gets told, ‘Part of your job is to [bleep] the president . . . then we’ll put you in a big movie.’ ”

Ok I change my mind, he's an effin pig and only sort of funny.

[Us Weekly]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....

WHICH swordsman son of a 60-something movie star has been spreading lice to some young, sexually active Manhattan women? A well-known party girl who recently spent the night with the stud was one victim, and then learned some of her friends were also infested.

I have no clue! Pierce Brosnan's son?

WHICH supermodel has personal assistants sign papers upon employment guaranteeing they won't sue her if things go sour? The agreement stopped one from pursuing a complaint after being pushed out of a moving car a few years back.

DUH! Naomi the Tyrant!

[Page Six]

Someone's Been Disinherited!

The war between Tori Spelling and her family is getting juicier. The family has issued this statement:

"We are deeply saddened that, during our time of loss and grief, we are forced to respond to the media frenzy caused by the mean-spirited and surprising comments made by Tori to the press, just two days after the passing of Aaron."

"As we try to honor his memory with love and respect, the sudden media frenzy she has created at this sensitive time is hurtful and very disturbing. Aaron's legacy deserved pure and unadulterated tribute and recognition which, sadly, has been tainted. "

"Everyone deals with grief in a different way, and since Tori chose not to be here at that time, we believe she is having a harder time dealing with that loss. We understand how difficult it might have been for her to be here, and, perhaps, more difficult for her after she arrived. Aaron loved both his children with all his heart, and he understood how hard it was for her."

They are responding to Tori's comments to the media about how she heard about her father's passing. Tori said that she received a text message on her blackberry from a friend who saw it on the news. Tori later said: "I thought I had some time (to see him). And I was saddened that the news had not come from my mother."

Um....didn't she know her father had a stroke?! Wouldn't any daughter rush to him even if you didn't talk to him. Tori is an ugly-faced, heartless, talentless, piece of filth! Without her family or her father, she would be nothing! She can't act and she's not pretty, she has nothing to offer. Aaron Spelling made Tori and let's hope he destroys her from the grave!!!

[People]

Lil' Kim is Getting Out!

Lil' Kim is getting out of the slammer. The Queen Bee is due to be released early after serving 10 months one day before July 4th. Kim began serving her sentence on September 19th in a detention center near Philadelphia. She was sent there after lying to a federal grand jury.

She issued this statement: "I am thrilled to be coming home. I thank all my fans for all their letters, as well as my family and friends for all their support throughout the past 10 months."

Let's hope they send a make-up artist, plastic surgeon, weavemaster, plaster artist and stylist in there before she makes her appearance. She looks beat down without 10-hours of work put on her.

[AP] [Thx 2pink]

Kate Moss is Back Again!

For a while there, many thought Kate Moss might not recover from that whole being caught with snow incident. Well, not only has she won her Burberry job back, but she will don those Calvin Klein jeans again for a new ad campaign. Here are some small thumbnails from that campaign. I can't wait until she gets caught again, is that bad?

Oh and she also wrote this beautiful poem for Pete Doherty. It was published British literary magazine:

"You love them more than you love me/So that's why I could cry all day long/that's why I can't breathe,"



[Denimology]

The Dlisted Report

Johnny Depp will play an evil vampire opposite Will Smith in I Am Legend. In Richard Matheson's book, Neville is the last living man on Earth... but he is not alone. Every other man, woman, and child has become a vampire, and they are all hungry for Neville's blood. By day, he is the hunter, stalking the sleeping undead through the abandoned ruins of civilization. By night, he barricades himself in his home and prays for the dawn. Shooting starts this September. [BlackFilm]

Jesse Eisenberg (The Squid and the Whale) will play the male lead in Spring Break in Bosnia. He joins Richard Gere and Terrence Howard. The comic thriller follows a young journalist (Eisenberg), a seasoned cameraman (Howard) and a discredited journalist (Gere) who embark on an unauthorized mission to find the No. 1 war criminal in Bosnia. They find themselves in serious jeopardy when they are mistaken as a CIA hit squad and their target decides to come after them. Shooting begins this Summer. [THR]

Christopher Walken will star opposite Meryl Streep in Mother Courage in the Central Park production this August in NYC. The staging of the Brecht classic will run August 8 - September 3. George C. Wolfe will direct. [Playbill]

Click here for the teaser trailer for Michael Bay's Transformers movie.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 29th!

Hoff: I can't thank you ENOUGH for giving me the name of your plastic surgeon! - scout

Runner-up:

That girl in the middle is totally freaking out because she thought they were both plastic until he spoke - Jay wants you know it

HSL of the Day!

Lindsay Wagner

Birthday Sluts

Michael Phelps (21)
Fantasia (22)
Cheryl Tweedy (23)
Monica Potter (35)
Mike Tyson (40)
Bobby Vitale (41)
Vincent D'Onofrio (47)
David Alan Grier (51)
Lena Horne (89)

Coco is Thirsty!

Is she still nursing? It looks like she wants a drink from mom, Courtney Cox!


Click here to see what happens next!

[SOW]

Star Jones is NUTS!!!!!!

Star Jones was on Larry King Live tonight and she gave the performance of her career. She tried to come off as the victim, but she came off crazy. She finally admitted to having gastric bypass surgery, because her "life depended on it." She also said that ABC gave her the option to say whatever she wants, but she decided to tell the truth...because the viewers deserved it and she's such a good person. Basically, she blew a lot of bull up Larry's arse. You know Larry doesn't even know who she is. She also said that Rosie O'Donnell and her were friends and she was extremely hurt by Rosie's attacks on her weight and her family (meaning Rosie called her husband a gay).

I'm kind of upset that Larry never brought up the whole "your husband is gayer than Rosie" thing. Larry could've been hard on her, but overall it was good TV.

She also said her husband said this to her about being let go:

"Baby put your stiff upper lip and you are going to shine!"

Janelle is in the Big Brother House

*Pictures Removed by Request*

Janelle has made it into the Big Brother house. One of last season's most popular contestants has been unofficially confirmed as a member of All-Stars. Here is a pic from her going away party a week ago in her hometown. She has been sequestered in the house along with Will, James and Kaysar. Rumor is that Danielle has also been added to the cast, but hasn't been sequestered yet. Voting ended yesterday and CBS is starting to get everyone together for the season premiere next Thursday.

Also, there will be 14 housemates and not 12 like BB is saying.

All I want to know is...did Monica make it???


[Thx Anna]

GREASY!

These two pictures of Parasite Hilton and Roberto Cavalli in Milan last night are so skeazy. If you stare too long you will catch something.

That Dog Has Herpes Now

Just kidding! Jessica Alba just looks like she has diseases, but she's a clean girl. She does have a body made for sin though. Anyway, here she is taking her adorable pup in to get that herpes problem fixed. I like the blue eyes, that's sexy.

Get Me a Harvey!!!

Jordan's son, Harvey, recently (May 27th) had his fourth birthday and of course she invited OK! Magazine into their home to document this beautiful experience. I swear that woman would sell her dead mother's body for some publicity. In this case, I'm glad she sold out...because I need my dose of Harvey. He's a beautiful creature. A creature that will give you the beating of a lifetime and bite your eyes out, but a beautiful creature nonetheless.

Here's Jordan holding her other child with Peter Andre, Junior. Bitch doesn't give a hell! Look at her, she's thinking about what she's going to wear tomorrow. Harvey is using his one good eye to count the crabs that have escaped from his mother's crotch region.



Uh-oh! Harvey is about to deliver a beat down! He's pissed and he wants all these people to leave so he can eat that entire gingerbread house thing in peace.



Jordan is doing what she does best. How greasy is Peter Andre? I'd still hit it.



Harvey is whispering to Junior: "Tell this lady to get her fro relaxed. I keep getting shocked."



This is a beautiful moment!



Happy Belated Birthday Harvey! May you live to be two hundred!!!

[Special Thx to Ericka for slaving away on her scanner]

Afternoon Crumbs

The Xtina album cover [Just Jared]

Star Magazine shoots back at Reese Witherspoon for suing them [Popbytes]

Aren't all the Supermen gay? [BWE]

Mena Suvari knows where to stick it [Egotastic!]

Justin and Cameron will survive [A Socialite's Life]

WTH is Kate Moss wearing? [Drunken Stepfather]

A candy Hummer [OMG Blog]

Ivanka Trump tries to get her youth back [Hollywood Rag]

Janice Dickinson's hunks [FourFour]

Some dumb dumb made a fake Brad Pitt ID and tried to use it [Popsugar]

Who doesn't love freestuff? [Hollywood Tuna]

Star Jones gets erased [Defamer]

The Brangelina Thieves Have Been Captured!

Last week a couple of pictures from Angelina Jolie's baby shower hit the internet hard. It showed a pregnant Angie and Brad Pitt in Africa wearing white feathered boas with huge smile on their faces. The pictures came from a stolen memory card.

Well, an arrest has been made in California and the 450 pictures on the card have been saved.

The person who allegedly stole the card had been trying to sell it to various sources. No word yet on how the suspect got a hold of it.

Finally! Justice is served. The suspect has been described as female in her 30s who can't stop crying.

[Post Chronicle]

Even Her Own Hotels Don't Want Her!

Parisite arrives at Radio One on June 26, 2006

Parasite Hilton appeared on Scotland's Real Radio Breakfast Show and tried to get a discounted room at the Glagow Hilton which bears her family name. The radio show called and spoke with a hotel clerk who didn't find it funny at all that the heiress was asking for a break. He responded with: "There is no discount I can initiate, I'm afraid"

I translate this as meaning that they don't want her diseased-ridden ass in their hotel, because they aren't about to get shut down for breaking sanitary rules.

[Page Six]

The Real Star Jones

Here is 14's brilliant version of the real Star Jones. We were asked to turn celebrities into animals for Animal Magazine and Star was one of the easy ones. Beneath the plaster, make-up and fake hair...this is what you get.

She's Skinnier Than Her Daughter!

Teri Snatcher and daughter bronzed their bones in the Caribbean. Snatcher is about to fall apart. Actually, body ain't that bad but face is beat down! Is her daughter sporting a hideous tiger tat? I think it's fake, at least I hope.



[Splash]

The Chair Isn't Even Cold Yet

One Life to Live star, Renee Elise Goldsberry, took Star Jones' place on The View today. She joined Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Ironically, Renee plays an attorney on the ABC soap opera and we all know that Star used to be one. Renee was also recently seen on Broadway in The Color Purple.

No mention of Star was made and the show went on as usual.

Renee did comment that she wasn't a lawyer and wouldn't start trouble.

Sources say that she isn't permanent yet and producers are going to try out a few people before making a decision.

[TMZ]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess....

WHICH actor, who's had two blockbuster movies in the last three years, refused to leave his trailer the other day until he was paid by the new film's over-extended producer? Seems the star and his castmates hadn't been paid in a timely fashion.

Bruce Willis

This he-man actor went to a swinging Beverly Hills party with a male friend and they encountered two playful strippers. Fueled by liquor and drugs, the leading man and strippers ended up in the host's bedroom putting on an explicit show. The guy got so carried away he pulled five or six onlookers to join in the orgy. And guess what - the sex-mad stud turned his attention to his male companion and forgot all about the girls! He lived to regret the exhibitionist bisexual fling because Hollywood loves to gossip and that moment of madness caused everyone to re-evaluate his machismo!

Vin Diesel

[Page Six] [JC]

For the Sake of the Cameras

Kathy Griffith is faking her relationship with husband, Matthew Moline, for the sake of reality television. Last September, she filed for divorce from her husband of 4 years. Shortly after she claimed the divorce was never finalized and that they were going to stick together and work things out. When the second season of her Bravo reality-show, My Life on the D-List, premiered, everything looked back to normal for the couple.

The truth is, things didn't work out. Matthew moved out of the house last year. He would show up early in the morning and get into character as Kathy's husband before the cameras arrived and then would go home at night.

Why would someone who claims to keep it real, lie to us? I think it would make better TV if Matt wasn't around and Kathy was off dating. I feel so betrayed!

[Janet Charlton]

Two Little Girls Fighting

I think Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger have started a trend. Hollywood men are now acting like little girls when they don't get their way. At Bella in L.A. on Tuesday night, Josh Duhamel and Tommy Lee had their own pink fight. It all started when Josh used his ego to knock on the men room's door rushing whoever was inside. Tommy Lee was using the facilities.

A source said: "Josh knocked on the door and scread 'Hurry up!' One of Josh's friends said, 'Stop, Tommy's in there,' "

"Josh replied, 'Tommy who? Tommy Lee, who cares?' Tommy heard that and came out of the bathroom. Words were exchanged and Josh ended up on the floor - I don't know if he was pushed or punched. Josh bolted outside and called for Tommy to meet him and 'fight like a man.' Tommy was restrained and sent out the back door by security. Josh never did get to use the bathroom."

I'm sure Josh used the bathroom in his pants. I'd be scared that Tommy would beat me with his dong. That was a hot vision.

[Page Six]

Mariska Hargitay Pops!

Law and Order star, Mariska Hargitay, gave birth to a HUGE baby boy. Their new package weighed in at 10lbs 9oz and was delivered via C-section.

DAMN! 11lbs?! You know her vagina is suffering right now. Someone get it some chamomile tea and a peanut butter cookie. Oh, it was C-section...I'm dumb...I need to go eat a fish.

[CBB] [Thx Mousie]

Who Will Enjoy "The View"?

Now that Star Jones has left the building, who will replace her? Very early on, Gayle King's name was mentioned as a possibility. With the exit of Meredith Viera, many think that a newswoman is needed. Gayle was said to have taken many meetings with the producers, but so far nothing has been announced. Three new names have also popped up on the scene. Ricki Lake is currently enjoying minor success with Gameshow Marathon. She is of course a talk show veteran and her name is the latest to possibly fill this vacant seat. Another GM performer and former Trading Spaces host, Paige Davis, has also been talked about. Paige doesn't have any experience in the talk show world, but is a familiar face to TV audiences. And lastly, E! Correspondent, Jules Asner, has also been rumored as Star's replacement.

What's my two cents? Personally I feel the show needs someone that isn't white. I mean...Hasselcrack is as white as white can be, Rosie is white, Joy is white and Babs is white. Not all American woman are of this color. Out of this four, I would definitely say Gayle King. Yeah, she's Oprah's lackey but she's smart and isn't a show pony. You got two show ponies on the stage in Rosie and Joy and there needs to be someone to mellow things out. Hasselcrack doesn't count, cause bitch is dumb and a waste of space.

So, I'm rooting for Gayle. Hopefully, she will get the job and bounce out of Oprah's shadows.

Screw it, give the job to Hottie!

[Thx SOW]

Rosie Responds!

In true Rosie O'Donnell fashion, she responded to the "Star Jones Situation" in haiku form on her blog:

patsy ramsey is dead
she haunts me
imagine living her life
i cannot

dr phil is yelling
at 3 plus sized gals
y’all stop fighting…

they nod and cry
they are very well dressed

kelli bought me clothes
for the cruise
with matching shoes

i have no sense of style - at all
i wear basic lizzie chic
i dress like turtle
from entourage

2 day
after my shrink
i drove past abc studios
there were camera crews
waiting

drama is as drama does
everybody breathe

madonna
2 nite

Look on Maya Angelou!

Star Jones Will Never Work for ABC Again

Don't expect to see Star Jones shaking her slimy giblets on Dancing with the Stars or attacking the inhabitants of Lost. She most likely has officially burned the ABC bridge. After Barbara Walters gave her an explanation on why Star was not coming back to The View, Star opened her nasty mouth again. She went off to the NYDN on Rosie O'Donnell and her former boss.

• "For Barbara to say she felt betrayed is the height of hypocrisy."”
• "Rosie had attacked me on every single evening entertainment program,"” said the 44-year-old former lawyer. "“Barbara used that week to call her and invite her to be part of a show that I helped launch nine years ago."
• "“Barbara did not call me herself,"” she said, bitterly. "“After nine years, she didn't call me. They told me my contract would not be renewed because my approval rating had gone down… I was like, whoa!"
• "“I came to work every day. I held my head up. I operated in grace and dignity," she explained. "“I knew since April but I still came to work."
• "[O’Donnell] had been so vicious and nasty to me."

Let's let this crazy milk this moment for everything it's not worth. Hopefully, after she talks to every magazine and newspaper from here to Tokyo, we can pour a little salt on her and she'll shrink into her shell and never be heard from again!

[NYDN] VIA [Gawker]

The Dlisted Report

Alan Parker (Evita) has agreed to direct Charlize Theron in The Ice at the Bottom of the World. "Ice," a drama that Mark Richard wrote from his fictional short story, is set in Chesapeake Bay, where a grizzled Navy captain reluctantly retires for health reasons. Theron will play one of his daughters, a heroin addict and out-of-control single mother. [Variety]

Rob Reiner (Rumor Has It) will direct Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List. The Bucket List refers to a wish list that two terminally ill men try to fulfill before each kicks the bucket. After they break out of a cancer ward, they head off on a road trip with an itinerary that includes racing cars, eating giant plates of caviar and slinging poker chips in Monte Carlo. Shooting is expected to begin in October. [Variety]

Sienna Miller and Peter Sarsgaard have will move to Pittsburgh. The film is based on the debut novel of Michael Chabon (Wonder Boys). The story chronicles the last summer of Art Bechstein's youth and revolves around his eccentric circle of friends, including Jane (Miller) and Cleveland (Sarsgaard). The lead role of Art has yet to be cast. Shooting begins this Fall in Pennsylvania. [THR]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 28th!

Don't tell me those sick fucks are already making the porn version of the 911 movie! - StoneyBaloney

Runner-up:

if you "happy" and you know it, clap your hands......clap..hey, wait a min., oh shit... - Mike K



[Thx Sean]

HSL of the Day!

Juliette Lewis

Birthday Sluts

Robert Evans (76)
Nicole Scherzinger (28)
Bradley Stryker (29)
Will Kemp (29)
Amanda Donohoe (44)
Sharon Lawrence (45)
Maria Conchita Alonso (49)
Richard Lewis (59)
Gary Busey (62)

Jerry Falwell Quote of the Day!

"You know, you almost got to be a homosexual to be recognized in the entertainment industry anymore."

"Movie stars not married to each other, having babies and making headlines all over the world as though they were doing some great thing. Big deal! Just another moral pervert. And for them to become heroes for our kids."

Put on Some Clothes

Poor Londoners got a glimpse of this today as Pamela Anderson used her tired body to pose nude for Peta. Tired!!! She showed her hep ass in the window of some department store. Yeah it's for a good cause, but blah blah blah...it's not even sexy. If that was Gisele or even Naomi, it would be hot..but Pam is beat.

Charlize Theron is the Most Gorgeous Woman in the World!

Charlize Theron at the opening of Club Social in Hollywood

I've said it many times, but I think Charlize Theron has to be the perfect woman. She's hot, she's got a body and she loves weed. She also dresses straight-out of Dynasty and that's why I love her. I could never say a bad thing about her and I would probably go downtown on her after like 10 drinks and a $100 bill.

This is Going to Reek!

Stars: A bunch of nobodies
Directed By: Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II)

Plot: Jigsaw has disappeared. With his new apprentice Amanda (Shawnee Smith), the puppet-master behind the cruel, intricate games that have terrified a community and baffled police has once again eluded capture and vanished. While city detectives scramble to locate him, Doctor Lynn Denlon (Bahar Soomekh) is unaware that she is about to become the latest pawn on his vicious chessboard. One night, after finishing a shift at her hospital, Lynn is kidnapped and taken to an abandoned warehouse where she meets Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), bedridden and on the verge of death. She is told that she must keep the madman alive for as long as it takes Jeff (Angus Macfayden), another of his victims, to complete a game of his own. Racing against the ticking clock of Jigsaw's own heartbeat, Lynn and Jeff struggle to make it through each of their vicious tests, unaware that he has a much bigger plan for both of them... [IMDB]

Due: October 27, 2006

Vintage Britney and Family

Ok not really vintage! But these pics are candids of Britney and family. This is "waaaay" back when she had blonde hair. They are happy on the outside, but falling apart on the inside.







[Pics: Splash News]

Afternoon Crumbs

More BET hotness [Crunk + Disorderly]

Raven Simone heart anything with fried cheese [The Bastardly]

Britney Spears goes under the sea [Cityrag]

Blohan and Richie snort party together [Hollywood Rag]

Scarlett Johansson is sexually overwhelming [Egotastic!]

Bad news via a blackberry [Popsugar]

Eva LongWHORIA dresses like an 80s hooker for Jessica's video [Hollywood Tuna]

So...that's why I like bananas [College Humor]

Demi Moore welcomes plastic surgery [A Socialite's Life]

Nicole and Keith's honeymoon kiss [Just Jared]

Ah, Memories

by Lahoma00

Remember this? You know the dad snorted that shit off his wife's tit!

What is Wrong with Jodie Marsh?!

This can't be comfortable! She looks divinely elegant though! Here's our favorite piece of UK trash at the "charity" premiere of Just My Luck today in London. I don't know what charity they are helping out, but the way she's dressed it looks like "Hookers in Need of Penicillin." Where on Earth does she find an outfit like that? Seriously, I think she borrowed it from some little boy and it didn't fit, so she added that belt. Ok, bitch looks hot.







[Thx Azia]

Vivica Fox is Beginning to Look Like Jessica Simpson

Vivica Fox at the BET Awards on June 27, 2006

Xtina Does Whitney

The BET Awards is the best awards show of all time and I'm sorry I missed out. The "hot mess" factor was through the roof. Anyway, Xtina tried her hand at Whitney Houston's Run to You. Not bad, but I wanted to run away from that outfit. It was like Cleopatra meets Levis which equals NOT HOT.

UPDATE - Sorry, I'm doing crack with Whitney. This is from an old ass BET Awards!

[Thx Teesh]

Don't Eff with Barbara

In case you haven't seen it, below is the video from this morning's The View where Barbara Walters explains why we will never see Star Jones' ass-face on that stage again. She explains how Star unexpectedly made her departure announcement yesterday. This announcement was not to take place yesterday and it was in the works for months. Babs goes on to say that they were going to allow Star to find another job at McDonald's so that she could leave the show with dignity. Babs also pointedly said that they made Star, a star and now they are crushing that fat star like a zit on Cameron Diaz's cheek!

Watch the Video!

[Thx Mousie]

Momma Told Me Not to Come

Artic Monkeys frontman, Alex Turner, was offered a date with Kate Moss. Shy Alex didn't know what to do, so he asked his mum. Alex, 20, was very intimated when Kate asked him out recently after getting his number back in February.

A source said: "“Alex was amazed when Kate came backstage and said she loved the band. When someone like Kate Moss asks for your number you give it to her. He never thought she'd actually call."

His mother advised him to steer clear of the snow-snorting slut and Alex did just that. He politely turned Kate's offer down and went home to snuggle next to his mum with a warm cup of cocoa. Ya see, mom's can smell an STD a mile away.

[The Sun] [Thx Chrissy]

It's a Miracle!

Foxy Brown can hear her own crappy music!

It was over a year ago that the rapper made an announcement that she was deaf.

An almost distraught Foxy conveyed her pain by telling stories of sleepless nights: "To suddenly lose your hearing after 10 years as a professional artist, I questioned God: 'Why me?' "

At the time, Brown's doctor issued a positive prognosis, saying she could recover after surgery. Around three months ago, according to her rep, Brown underwent surgery and is well on her way to having all of her hearing back.

"I went straight from the operating room to the studio," Foxy said with a smile. "It was really hard. I was deaf for an entire year. Completely deaf. The surgery was iffy. They didn't know if it would be a success, and it was."

Foxy was visited by Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt in the middle of the night and the child touched her ears and gave Foxy the gift of hearing back. Foxy is grateful and will now release an all Christian album this Christmas.

Not exactly, bitch had some kind of surgery and will release another wannabe Lil-Kim album this December.

[MTV] [Thx Kara]

Vote for Monica NOW!!!

Voting ends for Big Brother: All-Stars tonight at 11:59pm. Make sure you go to CBS right now and vote for my girl Monica. This is the only person that deserves to be in that house. She's honest, she doesn't lie, she always tell the truth and she's straightforward! From her mouth to my ears. The 6 men and 6 women who will move into the house will be announced next Wednesday and Monica better be in that mess or I'm gonna beat Julie Chen down!

Monica's MySpace

Andy Roddick Likes to Keep it Masculine

Tennis star, Andy Roddick, is really mad at the man purse. He is seriously going to start some kind of charity to fight this problem. He lashed out against the accessory on his website.

He said: "I have seen some guys walking around with man purses here in London.... anything bigger than a money clip or a wallet is to be left to your girlfriend/wife...and just so we are clear you should not be able to throw your "wallet" over a shoulder...if you have a man purse, the wall is waiting."

Any dude that has that big of an opinion on a man purse is hiding something. He totally bends over for daddy.

[TMZ]

Brooke Hogan is Headed for The Grammys

In case you've missed it, here's Brooke Hogan's video for "About Us" featuring Paul Wall. This is her first single off her debut album which hits this September. In case you aren't familiar with this blonde beauty, she's the daughter of Hulk Hogan. She looks just like him, but with a blonde weave. The songs absolutely sucks and the video is even worse. This makes "Stars are Blind" look like a cinematic masterpiece.

[Thx Kara]

Guess Who Was at the BET Awards?!

Hottie from Flavor of Love! Oh how I missed your 26-inch waist! Isn't she the most beautiful creature you've ever seen? And by creature I mean beat up old alley dog. Just kidding, Hottie you are as always an elegant lady!

Janet Jackson Looks Better With Clothes On

Janet Jackson made a surprise appearance at last night's BET Awards in Los Angeles. Janet showed up looking hot, because she covered up that weird stomach of hers. She did however bring that nasty troll of hers!










[Thx AlP]

The Photoshop Awards: Britney Spears in Bazaar

Pickles are hot

by Lahoma00

This is by far the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. This crazy bitch is deathly afraid of pickles and only Maury Povich can help her get over her fear! You've gotta see this shit. They even take her to a pickle factory but she wigs out. Maury gets testy with her, especially when she bolts after he shoves a tray of pickles in her face. Pay special attention to the guest in the middle. She just got over her fear of mustard!

Where Was Tori?

Tori Spelling made a statement right after her father, Aaron Spelling's, death that she reconciled with him. Tori was said to have cut her Toronto trip short and left immediately for Beverly Hills upon hearing about her father's condition. Sources say that wasn't the case. Tori stayed in Toronto and continued to whore herself out all in the name of her two-bit show. Tori was seen as late as Friday afternoon in Toronto at Starbucks and a The Four Seasons Hotel. Aaron passed away Friday night.

So did Tori really make peace with her father? I guess she could've called him, but that isn't really making peace. This dumb cow probably sent him an e-mail and considered that mending their relationship.

[Page Six]

The Last Star

Star Jones gave her final appearance on The View yesterday. ABC told her to not return to work this morning.

Star told the viewers yesterday that she will not be returning to the show come fall and that her last appearance would be in July. The news came as a shock to Barbara Walters, because although she knew it was happening she didn't know Star would announce it then. Perhaps this is why ABC is pissed and wants her out of the picture.

According to sources, producers and Barbara did not like the effect Star was having on the show. They felt that her constant plugging of products in order to gain freebees and her drastic weight loss reflected poorly on the show.

Make sure you watch the show this morning, I'm told hot shit is going to go down.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep and Paul Giamatti will star in The Last Station. Set in the last tumultuous years of Leo Tolstoy's (Hopkins) life, the historical biopic centers on the battle for his soul waged by his wife, Sofya Andreyevna (Streep) and his leading disciple, Vladimir Cherkov (Giamatti). Torn between his professed codtrine of poverty and chastity and the reality of his enormous wealth, his thirteen children, and a life of hedonism, Tolstoy makes a dramatic flight from his home. Too ill to continue beyond the tiny rail station at Astapovo, he believes that he is dying alone, while over one hundred newspapermen camp outside awaiting hourly reports on his condition. Shooting will begin in Russia this February. [Production Weekly]

Megan Mullally (Will & Grace) has optioned the rights to the novel Passing Strange by Sally MacLeod. MacLeod's novel follows an ugly ducking woman who is persuaded by her husband's family to have major cosmetic surgery. When the couple move to the Carolinas, the woman embarks on an affair with their black yardman with dire consequences. [THR]

Click here to watch the teaser trailer for Spider-Man 3. The film hits theaters May 4, 2007.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 27th!

the dog on the left says, "I'd still hit it." - christine's meat locker

Runner-up:

"I told you not to mess with Lewis!" - fashionikon

HSL of the Day!

Silvia Night

Birthday Sluts

Steve Burton (36)
Tichinia Arnold (35)
Chayanne (38)
Gil Bellows (39)
John Cusack (40)
Mary Stuart Masterson (40)
Kathy Bates (58)
Bruce Davison (60)
Mel Brooks (80)

His Wax Statue is Hotter Than Him

I may be in the minority, but I don't find Brandon Routh that scrumptious. He totally has that look on his face like "I'm straight, but I went gay to be a big star." There's something desperate about that. Here he is unveiling his much hotter wax statue at Madame Tussauds in NYC today.

Somebody Shoot Heather Mills

Ok that was harsh, but that's basically what she wants! You see she's comparing herself to John Lennon. That crazy woman was seen recording the photographers outside her home. She at one point, hopped outside and beat a photographer down with her camera. She started screaming that her every move is being recorded so she should do the same. She is using this as evidence should something happen to her.

She screamed to the photogs: 'John Lennon was shot and George Harrison was stabbed and loads of kids are kidnapped'.

She used John Lennon and George Harrison's names, because she's so close to The Beatles. Just because one of the beatles busted loads in you doesn't make you a Beatle! If that were the case, I'd be like a doctor, lawyer, garbage man, scientist, drug dealer and parole officer.

[Softpedia] [Thx Jennifer]

What's Dumber than Dumb?

THE WILD HANLONS!!!

They are contestants on this hot reality show called Treasure Hunters. The Hanlons consists of two brothers and and one son. Pat is one of the brothers and sports one hell of a serious mullet. Last week, during episode one, I really didn't think they would make it. They are just so damned dumb! I can't believe they figured out how to work a camcorder in order to send their tape! Last night's episode was no exception.

There were nine teams remaining on the show heading into last night's episode. One team is made up of ex-CIA agents. Another is made up of Air Force graduates. Then there is the team known as the Wild Hanlons.

On last night's episode, the Wild Hanlons somehow managed to escape elimination again.

Left with one final message to decode, the team could not come up with the final answer. So, in the middle of the challenge, with two other teams trailing them, the Hanlons decided to drive 40 miles -- to Burger King. Apparently they thought the answer was in a Whopper.Well if it wasn't the Whopper, it must have been the onion rings. When then Hanlons returned from their fast food jaunt, suddenly the problem became more manageable and the team was able to solve their puzzle and avoid elimination.

Earlier in the episode, the Wild Hanlons spent 11 hours in a mine trying to figure out one of the clues -- and overslept for another part of the challenge.

I seriously think these morons are going to win this show. They are like roaches, they just won't die! I'm going to try that whopper trick. It may give me more brain cells. However, don't drink a slurpee at Burger King, because they make your shit turn green!

[TMZ]

Mischa Barton's Body Needs Graham Crackers and Chocolate

Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler spent yet another day at the beach on June 25th. Mischa surfed a little, but mostly suntanned her bones. Cisco is still disgusting. He's so oily that he doesn't need any sunscreen. Mischa's body seriously reminds me of marshmallow. She's not fat, but she's just so soft. Ho needs a stairmaster.








[Pic Credit: x17]

Afternoon Crumbs

Who offered Ashlee $4 Million to pose nude? [TMZ]

What is Christina Applegate doing in Jessica Simpson's video? [A Socialite's Life]

Cammy Diaz's nip slip [Cityrag]

Orlando Bloom can't kiss right [Egotastic!]

Woody and Scarlett are a creepy couple [Glitterati]

Kate Moss returns to Burberry [Just Jared]

Hilary is morphing into Haylie [Hollywood Rag]

Sienna Miller's ugly shoes match her ugly face [Drunken Stepfather]

I guess Diddy ain't hittin' Selma Blair [IDLYITW]

Justin and Cameron are still together, blah [Popsugar]

The Shiloh Nouvel song [BWE]

Kate Beckinsale thinks we should all be soccer lovers [Hollywood Tuna]

Eye Believe This Outfit Sucks!

KFed just looks like straight-up penis cheese. You know the cheese that grows when you don't clean it out? That's what he looks like and the chunky kind at that. Harvey could put together a better outfit than this! Click below to play a hot KFed game!

Play the KFed Game!

[Thx Lauren]

A Singing Fishstick!

Fishsticks Paltrow in 1993's Malice

Fishsticks Paltrow has what it takes to be the next Madonna. She has a saggy vag, thinks she's British and most people want to punch her in the mouth. In becoming the next Vadge, Fishsticks has enlisted the help of William Orbit to help her become pop's next big star. William helped transform Madonna on her Ray of Light album.

William confirmed the news: "We bumped into each other and got talking and it turned out she was keen to do some recording. We’ve already done a track which will make a brilliant first single."

Isn't in bad enough that she's in movies?! There are enough terrible singers on this planet and we don't need another one! However, I do like the thought of a singing and dancing fishstick! That sounds delicious!

[MTV UK] [Thx Clint]

Video: Star Jones Announces the Obvious

Star Jones tries to give the performance of a lifetime and she talks about something we hardly care about. I love the end where she says "I'm not sure what the future holds..."

Well, let me spell it out for you kid. The future holds your husband leaving you for a leather daddy and moving to San Francisco, Payless dropping your slimy ass, McDonald's offering you a job as assistant manager at their Grand Rapids restaurant and the whole entire World breathing a sigh of relief that your nasty-slug-face will never be featured on our TV screens again....unless you a count an episode of Cops that will feature you stealing a Snow Ball from 7-Eleven.

[BWE]

Nicole & Tom Weren't Married in the Eyes of God

Nicole Kidman was able to marry Keith Urban in a Catholic Church, because her marriage to Tom Cruise wasn't recognized by the Church. Catholic rules state that you can't be married twice by the church unless your marriage is annulled. Many believe that Nicky had taken this action in order to marry Keith. But almost 10 years is a little long to plead that you didn't mean to get married.

The Catholic Church in Australia didn't see her marriage to Tom as a spiritual one and only as a legal one. Basically, it never happened in the eyes of God.

However, it was very real in the eyes of crazy.

[TMZ]

Naomi Campbell Will Beat Again!

Naomi Campbell made an extremely brief appearance in a Manhattan courtroom this morning. Naomi was there with her attorneys to work on a plea bargain in relation to charges that she beat down her maid with a crystallized-blackberry. The real mess occurred outside.

Campbell, attorney David Breitbart and Campbell's small retinue were forced to hide inside the courthouse for about five minutes until a car arrived to take them away from the media horde.

When Campbell's case was called, prosecutor Shanda Strain told the judge that no grand jury action had been taken in the case. The defense then agreed to an adjournment pending a possible plea deal, and Laporte ordered everyone to return to court on Sept. 27.

To make matters worse, another maid filed a lawsuit against her yesterday. The maid claims that Naomi beat her down and cursed at her back in January.

Seriously, this is getting old. Anybody that goes to work for that mess is nuts and they deserve a beat down. I mean you know she's crazy and you know she will shank you for absolutely no reason. I can't wait for the day when she messes with the wrong bitch! We should send Lewis in a maid's costume to go work for her ass!

[AP]

Katie Cassidy Heads to Dallas

Jessica Simpson, Kristin Cavallari and Lindsay Blohan were all battling it out to play Lucy Ewing in the big-screen version of Dallas. Well, newcomer Katie Cassidy has won the role. Katie is 19 and the daughter of David Cassidy. She has been in 7th Heaven and most recently Click on the silver-screen.

Original Lucy Ewing, Charlene Tilton, should be happy since she didn't think Jessica should have the role. She said: "“Jessica is beautiful but too old."

The film stars Jennifer Lopez, John Travolta, Shirley MacLaine and Luke Wilson.

The film is expected to hit video stores theaters in 2007. And when are producers going to learn that Kristin Cavallari is a complete waste! She tried to act in Laguna Beach, but couldn't even do that! Jesus, I'm not sure what her deal is....but the only place I want to see her picture is on the back of a milk carton!

[Us Weekly]

Sharon Stone is NOT Angelina Jolie

Sharon Stone gives head at the Dalai Lama benefit on June 9, 2006

I'm just waiting for Sharon Stone to dye her hair and wear black sunglasses 24/7, because she really wants to be Angelina Jolie. The problem is, she's effin NUTS!

According to friends, Sharon has officially adopted to another kid. She's named this one Quinn Stone. He joins Roan and Laird.

The friend said: "He's absolutely adorable and the apple of his mommy's eye. Sharon is tickled blue,"

Quinn, Roan and Laird?! They sound like a band of merry thieves!

[Page Six]

Rush Limbaugh is Taking Viagra?!

This is not something I need to know. Rush Limbaugh was caught with a bottle of Viagra that was not in his name at Palm Beach International airport on a return flight the Dominican Republic yesterday.

Customs officials found the Viagra in his luggage but his name was not on the prescription, said
Paul Miller, a spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

Miller said the alleged violation could be a second-degree misdemeanor. The sheriff's office was investigating and will soon turn the case over to the state attorney's office, which had no immediate comment Tuesday.

Under the deal reached last month with prosecutors, Limbaugh was not to be arrested for any infraction for 18 months in exchange for authorities deferring a charge of "doctor shopping." Prosecutors had alleged the conservative talk-show host illegally deceived multiple physicians to receive overlapping painkiller prescriptions.

Limbaugh also must submit to random drug tests and continue treatment for his admitted addiction to painkillers.

Limbaugh's doctor had prescribed the Viagra, but it was "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes," Roy Black, Limbaugh's attorney, said in a statement.

That damn crackhead!!! Seriously, the thought of this crazy having sex is enough to make my skin jump into a bucket of hot bleach. Old, fat, crazies like him have no business doing that sort of thing. Actually, after a few kamikaze shots I might hit that.

[AP]

Welcome to the Jail Cell

Axl Rose was arrested early this morning in Stockholm, Sweden for the biting a security guard in the leg at his hotel. Axl performed on Monday in Sweden and is being held for attacking and threatening a bitch. He is also being accused of trashing his hotel room. He could be held until Friday.

Guns N' Roses were scheduled to perform in Norway's capital Oslo on Wednesday, but it was unclear whether the concert would be canceled, concert organizer Ema Telstar spokeswoman Catarina Oscarsson said.

Oscarsson said the band was not traveling with a publicist and would not comment on the arrest.

Hagg told The Associated Press that Rose was intoxicated during the confrontation, which occurred shortly before 8 a.m., and was not questioned by police until after he sobered up.

"He was deemed too intoxicated to be questioned right away," she said.

It was unclear what caused the fight, but Swedish tabloids said the guard tried to intervene when Rose started arguing with a woman in the hotel lobby.

Fredrik Nylen, one of the police officers who helped arrest Rose, was quoted by the daily Aftonbladet Web site as saying that the singer acted aggressively toward police and had to be handcuffed and restrained in the hotel.

"He kept a high profile, so to speak," Nylen was quoted as saying.

SICK! You know that security guard has rabies now. Please, Axl did this on purpose. He knows nobody cares about his ass anymore, so he's trying to make it back into the spotlight the Naomi Campbell way. That's just embarrassing when an old man tries to act like a young rocker.

[AP]

Star Jones FIRED!!!!

Star Jones was fired from The View. She announced today her departure from the show.

She said: "Something's been on my heart for a little bit, and after much prayer and counsel I feel like this is the right time to tell you that the show is moving in another direction for its tenth season and I will not be returning as cohost next year,"

She later told People that it wasn't her choice:

"What you don't know is that my contract was not renewed for the tenth season," she tells

"I feel like I was fired."

The rest of the cast went through the motions and pretended to care even though inside they were probably screaming with joy. Unfortunately, we will never see Rosie O'Donnell give it to her for real.

What does Star have now? Tell me this. She has no more deals, her book is a joke, her man doesn't want to sleep with her....ho is gonna get fat again. She's gonna drown her sorrows into some KFC and a tub of buttermilk.

Blohan Likes to Party

Nate Newell is a fashion stylist based in Los Angeles. Lindsay Blohan is a 19-year-old professional party girl who sometimes appears in films. Ms. Blohan flew Nate out to New York to work for her for a couple of days. She paid for everything. They of course, partied most of the time. After the couple of days came to an end, Nate was due to go home. Blohan had other plans and extended his stay. Nate complained that he couldn't keep up with her and begged to go home.

A source said: "She flew him out, put him up, paid for everything, and they had the best time . . . at first. But then Lindsay decided to stay. Nate couldn't take her constant partying. He didn't have the money to fly home, so concerned friends chipped in to buy him an immediate ticket out of there."

Once he left, Blohan told friends that he was dead to her. Her rep denies this.

I don't think Nate was exhausted from going out every night. I think he was exhausted and spent from snorting half of Colombia up his nose every night with Blohan.

P.S. - That statue is really creepy and you know she makes out with it.

[Page Six]

WTF Did She Wear to Her Wedding?!

Patricia Arquette got hitched to Thomas Jane this weekend. That's lovely and everything, but what's that God awful thing sitting on her head?! It's covering her eyes! Mr. Jane is not that hideous to make Patty cover her shit. Anyway, they married in Venice.

No word yet if Patty's crazy brother/sister, Alexis Arquette, was in attendance.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Orlando Bloom will join girlfriend, Kate Bosworth, in Seasons of Dust. In the film, Janey (Bosworth) takes refuge with a farm family after grandfather's suicide. But when the son tries to rape her, she injures him badly. Not knowing if he is alive or dead, Janey flees, and ultimately takes up with Ricky (Bloom), a dashing crook who is also on the lam. With the law and two hired hit-men hot on their trailer, Janey and Ricky engage in a frantic cross-country odyssey, trying to stay one step ahead of their determined pursuers. Production begins next month in Oklahoma and New Mexico. [Production Weekly]

Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas will land on Broadway this holiday for a limited run. The family-friendly musical will run from October to January and play 12 performances a week instead of the traditional 8. The show has been a hit for the past 8 years at San Diego's Old Globe Theater. [Broadway]

Click here to get a first look at one of the most anticipated films of the year, Snakes on a Plane!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 26th!!

How was I to know that bargain boob jobs didn't include nipples! - twatitia

Runner-up:

"Giiiiirrrrl....I wish Ryan Seacrest would stop texting me and shit." - bzbee

HSL of the Day

Rachel Stevens

Birthday Hos

Tobey Maguire (31)
Vitamin C (36)
JJ Abrams (40)
Tony Leung (44)
Isabelle Adjani (51)
Julia Duffy (55)
Vera Wang (57)

Janet Jackson Looks Sick!

Janet Jackson had another set of ribs removed right? How in Jacko's name did she get so skinny. It looks like they took a wet vac to her and sucked everything out, including all of the fat in her face. Isn't she beginning to look like Marc Anthony?

[Concrete Loop]

Star Jones is Leaving The View

Access Hollywood is reporting that Star Jones will announce her departure from The View this week. Star will leave the show this July. This is just two months before Rosie O'Donnell is expected to make her debut.

Unfortunately, we won't get to see Rosie bitch Star out.

Who knows what will happen to this freak now? You know her gay hubby is going to leave her now that she isn't pulling in the dough. She's gonna end up like that crazy homeless lady in NYC that wears hefty bags as gowns and thinks she's Miss America.

Poor Star....ho deserves it!

[Thx Vegas]

She's Not Preggers?!

Reese Witherspoon insists that she's not knocked up, however she's sporting a huge belly. Homegirl either needs a colonic, Paris-Hilton-style, or she's lying. I'm going with the latter. Reese also can't follow instructions! She went into some store with a drink even though she's not allowed. Arrest her! I take everything I said back, she's just pregnant. She's probably been hitting the buffet from depression, because her husband doesn't want to tap it!





[x17]

Which Harry Potter Characters Will Be Worm Meat?

J.K. Rowling has announced that the seventh and final Harry Potter book will feature the death of two characters.

She said: "The final chapter is hidden away, although it's now changed very slightly. One character got a reprieve. But I have to say two die that I didn't intend to die. A price has to be paid. We are dealing with pure evil here. They don't target extras do they? They go for the main characters. Well, I do."

She wouldn't say if one of the characters was Harry himself. The book is not even halfway finish and will be released next year.

Unfortunately, I don't read and if I did I probably wouldn't read Harry Potter. Why when I can see the movie for free on HBO.

[AP]

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Quote of the Day!

on Elvis' sexuality:

"“Anyone who lives with their mama that long and dresses up in that much spangly gold with black lacquer on their eyes has definitely got something going on."

[Thx Jennifer]

John Mayer IS NOT Funny

John Mayer might be quitting his day job and trying his hand at comedy or not. He decided to shed his angst-girl-rocker persona for a quick minute at the Comedy Cellar where he gave a drunken performance. Here's some highlights:

1) Women are sluts
2) Lots of sluts have “unlocked their Masterlock” for him.
3) New Yorkers aren’t really bothered much by terrorism. Cause there’s like “Missiles and shit” constantly being launched at us and we’re used to it. Um…right. Might want to quit while you’re behind, John.
4) He lives up on a hill “away from the black people.”
5) If white people were allowed to use the ‘N’ word, he would use it about 1,000 times a day. And yes, Mayer did use the ‘N’ word during his act. Several times.

Hmm...let's add racist to John's job description. Thank Jesus that the "N" word isn't kosher or we might just be humming Your Body is a "N" word over and over again while we pour our morning cup of joe.

[Gawker] [Thx Josh]

R.I.P. Moose

Moose better known as Eddie on Frasier has passed away! He was 16.

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Boy George won't be a jail bird [Queerty]

Lessons on how to kiss Jessica Alba [Cityrag]

Does your vagina hate Mischa Barton? [IDLYITW]

Posh Beckham is losing weight...she will die soon [Hollywood Rag]

Leo DiCaprio is stupid [Mollygood]

It's honeymoon time for Nicky and Keith [Just Jared]

The odd couple: Selma Blair and Diddy [Egotastic!]

I can see right through Keira Knightley [Hollywood Tuna]

Kimbo Stewart is still the nastiness [Drunken Stepfather]

Ryan Phillippe shirtless..enough said [Popsugar]

On Something?

Courtney Love looked like she was feeling good as she attended the 3rd Annual Work Hard, Play Harder Lounge last night.

Court has a lot to celebrate. Apparently, she has gained complete control over her financial problems. She was able to get out of debt by selling 25% of the Nirvana catalog. Other offers to use Nirvana songs have already come in from a feminine lube and Coke. If these deals go through, Court will have even more cash in the bank.

[Starpulse]

Suri's Not Selling

Why haven't we seen Suri Cruise yet? According to reports, Tom Cruise hasn't been offered the right price for photos of his alien baby. Right after she was born, a photo shoot was offered to Wire Image. After that an auction between the top celebrity magazines took place. The price was not right for Tom. The top price was said to be $3 Million. Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt fetched a whopping $4 Million.

Tom turned down the offer and now the pics may never be see. Suri is already 3-months old and her price might have gone down.

According to a magazine source we will never see anything like Shiloh for a long time.

I'm telling you, Suri doesn't exist! Tom probably paid some bitch to write this story up.

[Fox News]

Kate Beckinsale is My Kind of Girl

*images removed by request*

Kate Beckinsale went in for a little peek while her hubby, Len Wiseman, dropped his shorts in Venice Beach, CA. With a husband that looks like that, she should be doing a lot more.

Britney Spears Can't Catch a Break!

Britney Spears and family at Nobu in Los Angeles

Britney Spears looks a million times better since she's dyed her hair dark brown. People are already upset at the possibility of Brit not using baby-safe dyes. Certain hair dyes have chemicals in them that can cause birth defects in unborn babies.

A source said: "It depends on the sort of dyes that she uses, but most modern hair dyes are safe as it's very hard to absorb a lot into the skin."

Damn! People need to leave this girl alone before she rips all her hair out and we find her shaking in a dark corner with a razor blade in her hand.

At least she's trying not to look like she re-uses plastic plates over and over again.

[China Daily]

Is Madge Worth It?

Madge and Lourdes in NYC on June 24, 2006

Madonna's current Confessions tour is selling out across cities in America. Her London fans aren't reacting the same way. Madge is set to play the Millennium Stadium on July 30th. The venue seats around 60,000 and she has failed to sell it out. Many fans are complaining that the prices are way too high. Her top ticket is around $300.

$300?!? Why would I buy the cow when I can get the milk for free? That didn't make any sense, but I strangely found it fitting for this story.

[Entertaintmentwise]

J.Lo Needs a Touch-Up!

Here's one more pic of J.Lo at the Pier Dance for New York's Gay Pride. Somebody get her a touch-up wand! DAMN! Marc has put the death spell on her!

[Thx Jason]

Kate Hudson is No Goldie

When Kate Hudson entered show business, she was already seen as the next Goldie Hawn. Producers wanted to give her "Goldie-like" roles. Kate has said that she isn't competing with her mother and she's not trying to be like her.

She said: "Maybe I was right for a part and maybe I wasn't. I would always do the best I could, but I knew that if I was having an off day there would have been people sitting there whispering 'Goldie Hawn's daughter is horrible. She should really choose another career,' "

"People don't always want to believe that. They want to believe I do it because I felt I had to, or to be like my mom, or to compete with my mom," she says. "Or any other of a number of things that have nothing to do with who I am. I am so much less complicated than that. I like acting."

Ho wishes she had 1/10th of Goldie's talent! I can't stand this heffer. I bet you she giggles while taking it up the hinder. I hate that.

[People]

What Is Going On Here?!

*images removed by request*

Jake Gyllenhaal pretends to drop something as he gets a good sniff of that banker in NYC. Seriously, that banker dude has a weird look on his face. Maybe, he dropped his digits for Jake to pick up. You know they did it doggy-style later that night. Oh and that dude's hair below is working for me.

He Looks Greasier than Her!

Heath Ledger hasn't bathed for days! Here he is with his much cleaner chick as they head to lunch in NYC.

J.Lo Loves the Gays

J.Lo and her grey hairs made a surprise appearance at New York's Gay Pride Pier Dance last night. J.Lo with Marc Anthony in the wings performed a small set that was filled with microphone troubles. Apparently, bitch was lip-syncing majorly and when she went to talk normal the mic was turned off! She then made some excuse and someone came to fix her up. Yeah, more like put Duracels in her "speaking" microphone. Reader Jason (who provided these pics) said the grey hair was working overtime and she tried to cover that up with extensions.

I think I see camel toe!

Gwen Stefani to Play Baby Doll

Gwen Stefani made her feature-film debut in The Aviator playing Jean Harlo. Her next big-screen outing may be a more substantial role. Gwen is in talks to play the title role in a film version of Tennessee Williams' Baby Doll.

The movie is about a beautiful young woman who promises her husband, who is an unsuccessful businessman, that their marriage will be consummated a year after their wedding.

The woman's husband, who wants badly to make love to her and launch his business into success, decides to set his enemy's plant on fire.

After his enemy's plant is nothing but ashes leftover from the blazing fire, the enemy has no choice but to use the gorgeous woman's husband's plant for cotton production, but things begin to go all wrong once he's introduced to 'Baby Doll'.

The movie was originally created in 1956 and starred Karl Malden and Carroll Baker.

That movie sucks! Anyway, Gwen has bigger plans like taking care of her baby. Is Kingston rockin' some LAMB?





[Post Chronicle]

Ugly Baby Alert!

Diana Krall and Elvis Costello have announced that they are expecting a baby this December. The couple have been married for two years and this is their first child. Diana is 41 and Elvis is 51. Her next album comes out this September.

I'm just kidding! I'm sure that baby will be gorgeous and precious, because all babies are. I just hope that if he/she inherits their looks he/she also inherits their talents!

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Zac Efron (High School Musical) will play hunky Link in the New Line Cinema musical Hairspray. Shooting is set to begin this September in Baltimore. Newcomer Nicole Blonsky plays Tracy Turnblad. The rest of the cast includes John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Amanda Bynes and Brittany Snow. [Variety]

Gerald Butler (Phantom of the Opera) is in final talks to star in the horror film Priest. A warrior priest disobeys church law by teaming with a sheriff and a priestess to track down a band of renegade vampires who have kidnapped his niece. Andrew Douglas (Amityville Horror) will direct. [Variety]

Adam Sandler's Click brought in $40 Million on its opening weekend to come in at #1. dropped to the #2 spot with just over $22 Million. CarsNacho Libre dropped to #3 and bringing in only $12.1 Million to come in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Winner for June 23rd!

Oh I remember him....He gave me termites!! - LaQuisha J

Runner-up:

so this is how Screech is earning his money to keep his house! - crysara


[Thx JDrakes]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Tom Jones

Birthday Sluts

Chris Isaak (50)
Jason Schwartzman (26)
Derek Jeter (32)
Gretchen Wilson (33)
Chris O'Donnell (36)
Irv Gotti (36)
Paul Thomas Anderson (36)
Sean Hayes (36)
Mick Jones (51)

Tori Reconciles with Daddy

Aaron Spelling met his maker on Friday and it was unclear as to whether his daughter, Tori, was by his side or not. She told People that she reconciled with her daddy before he passed away.

She said: "I'm grateful I recently had the opportunity to reconcile with my father and most grateful we had the chance to tell each other we loved one another before he passed away,"

"It's a true blessing to have had a parent that loved me unconditionally. He had a heart as big as his talent and today, along with many others, I mourn his loss. He was a great man and even better father."

By reconcile she means begged for him to write her back into his will. I bet she wasn't even there.

[People]

He's Hung, Right?

Someone once told me that Marilyn Manson was hung like an ox. I'm not sure if I believe her, but I'm not about to find out. Here's the King of Baby Powder at the POTC2 premiere at Disneyland. He's probably sweating like Whitney Houston at airport security in that get-up.

Justin Timberlake Has a Huge One

Danielle Ditto claims to have been Justin Timberlake's first. She also said that Justin has a big one. Danielle is responding to comments Britney Spears made about Justin not being so huge.

Danielle said: "He's well endowed. I'm not saying anything else.

"I can understand her (Britney) behaving like that. If she did lose her virginity to him - and I think she did because one of my friend saw her talking about it on TV and said her story was exactly like mine.

"I hope it was sacred for her and if it was, then she's bound to be upset and make comments."

It probably WAS big. Now that Cameron Diaz's nasty zit-lips have been on it -- it probably has shriveled up into itself.

[ONTD]

Hot Slut of the Week: Anna Wintour

Age: 57
Birthday: November 3, 1949
Birth Name: Anna Wintour

Original Date of Hot Sluts of the Day: June 23, 2006
Claim to Fame: One of the most famous editors in the World. She shot to fame when she became the head bitch at American Vogue.

Where is she now? Still taking names at Vogue and a "version" of her can be seen in the upcoming The Devil Wears Prada film.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? I have an affinity for an ultra bitch and Anna is one of the best. I love to hate her.

Shiver Me Timbers!!

The Pirates of the Caribbean world premiere took over Disneyland in Anaheim, CA yesterday evening. The stars were out! By big stars I mean Arnold Schwenwhatever, Roseanne Barr, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tia Carrere and Christian Slater.

Of course, the film's stars showed up. Keira Knightley overdressed, Johnny Depp wore his one outfit and Orlando Bloom tried not to look like a woman. Mickey Mouse was the hottest bitch there.

James Blunt Will Do Anyone

Paris Hilton and Caroline D'Whore at London's Cuckoo Club on June 22, 2006

Singer James Blunt and American whore Paris Hilton were seen sharing a meal together at London's Cuckoo Club on Friday night. James is currently seeing model Petra Nemcova who is a million times hotter than Paris, but that didn't stop him from chatting her up. After the dinner, the two went their separate ways. James probably realized the stench of rotted fish was coming from her.

What is with this glove thing?! Stop trying to make it happen Paris, it looks stupid. Is ho trying to hide lesions on her hands or something?

[Gigwise]

Didn't Marcia Cross Get Married Too?

Don't forget Marcia Cross! She also tied the know this weekend. Marcia married Tom Mahoney at the Savior Episcopal Parish in San Gabriel, CA and later held a reception at the Ritz-Carlton in Pasadena, CA. The bride wore a Reem Acra gown. This is the first marriage for both.

Marcia didn't want anyone stealing her thunder, so she didn't have any bridesmaids. She had 7 flower girls instead.

Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman were in attendance. No Snatcher? You know those two hate each other's asses.

Two botox brides this weekend!!! Yay! I wish Marcia and that dude a lovely marriage filled with gay rumors and surgeries!

[People]

Nicole Kidman Gains a Ball and Chain

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban finally said their "I Dos" at candlelit ceremony after sundown in Sydney. They married at The Cardinal Cerretti Memorial Chapel on St. Patrick's Estate at Manly. Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts and Rupert Murdoch were all guests. She wore a dress by Balenciaga.

A guest said: "Nicole cried all the way to the church in the car and then she cried all during the ceremony and had to wipe her eyes under the veil. It was the most emotional and beautiful ceremony. Nicole looked ethereal with her veil floating, like a vision in white. ... Keith cried when he looked at her.

"It was so intense. When her veil was lifted, he moved right in and he grabbed her and kissed her. It was a long, passionate kiss. (Then) everything went from being quiet and elegant and intense to really loud, like we were suddenly at a soccer game. There was screaming and hollering and such excitement.

"But when Nicole and Keith looked at each other it was like they were the only two people in the room. They are so deeply in love. It was the most incredible wedding."

At the reception, Hugh Jackman and Crowded House performed.

Now that Nicole has found love we hope she'll lay off the botox. Dlisted wishes her congratulations for freeing herself from that crazy Cruise! I think she looked beautiful...well...her face was a little tight. But we know the woman loves her plastic.

[People]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sally Kellerman

Birthday Sluts

Jason Lewis (35)
Busy Phillips (27)
Linda Cardellini (31)
Hunter Foster (37)
George Michael (43)
Ricky Gervais (45)
Carly Simon (61)
Sidney Lumet (82)