Vintage Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt in a hot photo shoot from 1989












[HB]

Only One Day Away

Nicole Kidman arrived at her parent's home today in preparation for her wedding tomorrow to Keith Urban. Keith is staying at another undisclosed location until the ceremony. The two are planning to release one photo to the media free of charge. They do ask that any publication that uses the photo make a donation to a children's hospital in Sydney. They don't have any plans to release more than one photo.

Bruce Willis Quote of the Day!

"Friday night is cuss night in my house. You know parenting has changed, at least in the States, when you're told to 'Shut the fuck up' by your kids."

Who the Hell is Going to See This Wreck?!

Mimi's Main Dude

The dude above is Miss Piggy's Mimi's main dude. They have been together for a while. He's some music producer or some shit. He was her date at the Grammys. He's shy. I can just picture his face in between those thunder thighs.




[Gossip Rocks]

Kevin Richardson Leaves the Backstreet Boys

Nick, Howie, Brian and AJ released a statement confirming that Kevin will not return to the Backstreet Boys when they begin filming their next album.

“Earlier this year, after much soul searching, Kevin Richardson came to us and told us that he had decided to leave the group and pursue other interests. He gave his blessing to continue the music without him. We have no intention of replacing Kevin, and the door will always be open for him to return to the Backstreet Boys. We wish him the all the best in his future endeavors. This weekend we are returning to the studio to begin the follow-up to Never Gone, and will see you later this year with a new album.”

Kevin confirmed the confirmation on his MySpace:

Hey everybody, sorry it has been so long since I've updated you. I've been very busy. I know there are alot of rumors floating around about my status with BSB. After thirteen years of what can only be described as a dream come true, I have decided to leave the Backstreet Boys. It was a very tough decision for me but one that was necessary in order for me to move on with the next chapter of my life. Howard, Brian, Alex, and Nick will always be my little brothers and will continue to have my utmost love and support. I want to thank you all for the beautiful memories we have shared together and look forward to including you in the next phase of my life. I wish my brothers continued success and look forward to their new album. Peace and love, Kevin Richardson

No word yet on what Kevin and his eyebrows plan to do next.

[ONTD] [Thx Mousie]

This is Your Bobbi Kristina

Bobbi Kristina Brown is looking like a lot of Bobbi and a lot less like Whitney. She's only 13, so I'm gonna give her ass a break. But who is that blonde freon-sniffer with her? She better beware of that homegirl.





[Crunk+ Disorderly]

A Brangelina Baby Shower?

*Photo has been removed by request*

Celebrity Baby Blog had a reader send them an e-mail with this photo and a note saying they had several other pictures of Brangelina's baby shower that they are shopping around. The pictures are from Africa.

That's a weird baby shower. Do you think they played the "break the balloon" game?

[CBB]

R.I.P. Aaron Spelling

Aaron Spelling passed away at his home in Beverly Hills early yesterday evening. He was 83. He died from complications from the stroke he suffered on June 18th.

His wife Candy and his son were present. No word yet if Tori was at his side.

Let's hope he wrote that dumb whore out of his will!

Aaron you will live forever in Dynasty!!!

[People]

Hot Slut of the Day!

George Takei

Birthday Sluts

Michele Lee (64)
Solange Knowles (20)
Peta Nemcova (27)
Kelly Wigglesworth (29)
Sherry Stringfield (39)
Peter Weller (59)
Mick Fleetwood (64)

Jessica Simpson's Shitty New Single

Jessica Simpson has a new single and it sucks! It sounds like something they sang on Rags to Riches. At least in that show they wore hot outfits. I bet you Ken Paves wrote this crap. Notice how he's in the artwork for the single. It will sell a lot though. People like her fake tits.

Jessica Simpson "A Public Affair"

Anal Pap Smear?!

What the hell is an anal pap smear? Do I need one? I'll check on that later.

Medical professionals are excited about the possibility of at home pap smears. All you would have to do is stick a q-tip up your ass and mail it to the lab. This could reduce the number of STI infections and other infections.

Sorry about the picture! That's not an anal pap, that's a regular one. My stretched out asshole probably looks pretty close to that though. Just kidding! Go get an anal pap now!

[Queerty]

Two Celebrity Weddings This Weekend!

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban aren't the only celebrities making it legal this weekend. Desperate Housewives star and more importantly Melrose Place star, Marcia Cross, will marry Tom Mahoney in Los Angeles. Marcia began dating the wealth manager in January 2005. The two became engaged in August.

This is the first marriage for both.

Several of her DH co-stars are expected to appear.

Dlisted wishes them the best and no she isn't a lesbian!

[The Insider]

Does Dark Hair Make You Smarter?

Paris Hilton showed up to the O2 Wireless Festival in London, England today. She decided to whip out a darker wig. She probably thought it was edgier, but I still see skank underneath it. I bet you the wig was made from her pubes.

Gay Pride on Passions!

by Lahoma00



Passions is one of the best shows ever. This isn't news for anyone that watches this piece of shit. Right now they've got a brother and sister in love, some crazy CEO dressed like a monk and a mermaid that's after Miguel's piece. Next week hunky Luis is almost killed by psycho Beth (she was the one that stole his baby and threw his fiancee down a hole for six months, where she was tortured by clowns).



Anyway, who comes to his rescue but a bunch of Roman lesbians! According to the actor that plays Luis, "they show up with chainsaws, hammers and rainbow flags." Everybody better tune into this shit!

This is a Hot Outfit

Sienna Miller and Jude Law had lunch in NYC before Sienna went to spend the day in the city. She opted for a one piece bathing suit and a little skort. I personally think this is a hot outfit, but I also think most hookers have awesome fashion sense.

Afternoon Crumbs

Another slutty Paris photo shoot [X17]

Kat McPhee and Katie Holmes may be the same person [Cityrag]

Angelina Jolie's nude pregnancy pictures [Hollywood Rag]

Eminem divorces in secret [A Socialite's Life]

Blohan's almost nip slip [Egotastic!]

Gisele and Kelly Slater are done [Gabsmash]

Sienna Miller has a gorgeous face [Just Jared]

Britney Spears is totally trying to be Angelina Jolie with the new dark [IDLYITW]

The new and improved Daisy Duke [Hollywood Tuna]

Selma Blair files for divorce [Popsugar]

Courtney Love is a True Thespian

Courtney Love swears that she's gotten her act together and is ready to splash back into the limelight. Courtney has several projects in the works. She is currently working with Linda Perry on a new album. Although she isn't with a label, Linda Perry has mentioned signing her to her own record label. Courtney will record some new songs soon, so is heading to the "spa" this week to get her shit in order.

Courtney is also finishing up a book called Dirty Blonde which will debut this Fall. It's not a kiss and tell kind of book. She promises it will be something classier.

And to top it off, Courtney is planning to become a West End theater star by the end of the year. She has said she's in talks with producers to take the London stage in a classic play.

Let's hope she gets her shit together, because she does have some talent. I will miss the stories about her breaking into people's homes in the middle of the night and pissing in their beds.

[Fox News]

LaToya Jackson's Insane

LaToya Jackson has been an idol of mine for a long time. Her music touches my soul and her words speak to me. I'm still perplexed on why she isn't a huge star in Tijuana America. TMZ caught up with the craziest Jackson at a photo shoot for a malt beverage called Star Ice. She spoke about her upcoming album which will probably never see the light of day.

She said: "I've been recording for some time now and we're just wrapping up on the end of a production of an album that I'm doing. It's a club album. And I'm just having a wonderful time with it. I think it's some of my best work and I'm excited about it."

Star Ice?! I need some of that right about now. My weekend is going to consist of sipping on Star Ice and listening to LaToya's hit He's My Brother over and over again.

Oh and on the real.....Jacko and LaToya are the same bitch!

Watch this photo shoot! Ho is NUTS!

Justin Didn't Dump Cameron

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz deny that they have broken up. Reports hit yesterday that Justin kicked Cammy to the curb, so he could be all single and shit while on tour.

They issued this statement: "The couple are in fact very much together, as he prepares for the release of his album. Of course, made-up sources have had them breaking up, getting married and having a baby ever since they began dating over three years ago."

Well, she needs to break up with him and get with a dude name Proactiv.

[People]

Did Jessica Get a New Honker?

Before and After

Don't Call Kate Beckinsale a Slut

Who the hell is calling her anything? Kate Beckinsale doesn't like whenever people call her a slut. You see, she dumped her first husband to be with her second husband.

She said: "It was always rather odd to me when I’d get the ‘Oh, what a slut’ remark."

"Look around Hollywood and tell me one person who’s slept with only two people in a decade - I might be the only one. But I do think you can make up for that by having sex many, many, many times with one person."

This is a lame story. I just realized this. I apologize, it's a slow news day. For the record, she's a slut.

[Female First]

Vintage Keith Urban

[A Socialite's Life]

Hilary Duff Quote of the Day!

on her boyfriend:

"He doesn't socialize. He's very real, like, he's from a pretty ghetto place in Maryland. . . . I like that."

[ONTD]

Toni Braxton is Back!

Toni Braxton began her short Libra tour on Wednesday night in Florida. Toni is playing a few dates before her sitdown begins at Harrah's in Las Vegas this August. Toni resorted to her usual tricks of showing her ass and wearing a tired dress.

Nicole & Keith's Pre-nup Woes

Oh, it's so difficult being rich and famous. When you get hitched, you have to figure out how much you're going to give to your better half. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are currently trying to figure their stuff out, before they get married this Weekend in Australia. One source claims that Keith will receive $875,000 for every two years he's married to her.

Another source claims that there is no pre-nup and that should they get divorced they will each take away what they brought in.

Wedding plans are in full swing. The exact date is unknown and apparently the location and time will be text-messaged to guests just hours before the actually ceremony.

Don't be surprised if Tom Cruise decided to make a very public appearance with Suri at the same time Nicky gets married. Tom is all about Tom.

[Extra TV]

Kevin Aviance Will Rise Again!

Drag performer and NYC icon, Kevin Aviance, was viciously attacked a couple of weeks ago in the East Village part of Manhattan. Kevin was on his way home at 1am when a group of teenage morons beat the shit out of him for absolutely no reason. Kevin had to get his jaw wired shut. However, with Pride this weekend he promises that he will be back to his old self.

He said: "I am getting my mouth unwired for one day, so that I can be done up for the Gay Pride Day Parade on Sunday."

We are happy that the bitch is back! Kevin also received good wishes from Janet Jackson, Gayle King, Tyra Banks and Deborah Cox.

[Page Six]

Tori Comes Home to Daddy

Aaron Spelling is recovering from a stroke he suffered last Sunday. Some say that Aaron is in bad shape. His children have been summoned to his side. Tori Spelling and her husband are returning from Toronto and Randy Spelling is coming in from Miami to be with their father at his Bel Air home.

Tori said: "Dean and I will be traveling back to Los Angeles to be by my dad's side. We thank everyone for their love and concern for my dad during this difficult time. It means so much."

Please, this chick doesn't care. She's just there to make sure the will doesn't change!

[People] [Thx velvett1]

The Dlisted Report

Matthew McConaughey has signed on to two films. He will first film Ghosts of Girlfriends Past for a 2007 release. The plan coming together is for McConaughey to play a bachelor who goes to his younger brother's wedding and gets visited by the ghosts of his past girlfriends. He will then shoot The Grackle which begins production next year. McConaughey plays a barroom fighter in New Orleans who hires himself out for $250 to settle disputes for people who can't afford a lawyer. Harsh language and quick fists are his weapons of choice. [Variety]

Vin Diesel has pulled out of Black Water Transit which was due to begin filming next month in Chicago. Based on the Carsten Stroud novel, this project follows the divergent agendas of crooks, cops and lawyers as they clash over a shipment of illegal firearms, mafia ties and a double homicide. The project has now been put on hold until they can find a new male lead. Kevin Bacon, James Franco and Sophie Okonedo were to set to co-star and no word yet on if they will stay with the project. [Coming Soon]

CBS has pulled their reality show Tuesday Night Book Club after only airing two episodes. The show has been pulled for 2 weeks, but the network isn't sure if they will bring the show back. The show lost about a million viewers in its second week. [Reality Blurred]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 22nd!

"You know the first time I saw Michael naked I wanted to scream...but I thought of Balloon animals and how happy they made me."- Glen

Hot Slut of the Day!

Anna Wintour

Birthday Sluts

Jason Mraz (29)
K.T. Tunstall (31)
Selma Blair (34)
Joss Whedon (42)
Frances McDormand (49)
Randy Jackson (50)

Would You Hit It?

Jon Bon Jovi at Samsung's Four Seasons of Hope in NYC on June 22, 2006

I'd let him hit it, but only from the back. Is that a wig?! Bitch needs platform shoes, he's a tiny lil' man! I wonder if he'll bring me delicious cookies!

What Planet is Shawna From?

I have no idea who Shawna is. Here she is at Fuse studios. I'm guessing she does music, but homegirl is scary looking. She looks like a younger Star Jones and that isn't a compliments.

Paris Hilton Quote of the Day!

“I like when people say I’m, like, a nice person and I’m funny and you know, it’s not about looks. It’s about what’s on the inside.”

Guess the Number of STDs Between Them

This Chick is Awesome!

This is a clip from an old episode of that trashy MTV show, NEXT. It shows the gorgeous and well-bodied, Charity, basically eating shit.

[LIRW]

I Guess It Wasn't a Wig

Britney has dyed her hair black. Some earlier pics of her looked like she was wearing a wig. This photo was taken as she left a building in the East Village part of NYC. It's weird, because she doesn't look that much like trailer trash anymore. Ewww, I bet she smells though.

[TMZ]

Afternoon Crumbs

The Brazilian World Cup team is really hot [A Socialite's Life]

Madge drives hubby out of the bedroom [Hollywood Rag]

Jada Pinkett-Smith's transition [OMG Blog]

Hollywood's biggest baby news [BWE]

Attack of the wonky eyes [Cityrag]

Xtina has permanent red lips [Hollywood Tuna]

Rachel Weisz slings her baby around [Just Jared]

A Big Brother UK vag slip [Drunken Stepfather]

Is Nicky Hilton fat or pregnant? [Popsugar]

JLove doesn't love bras [Egotastic!]

Mel Gibson is helping Whitney Houston [Crunk + Disorderly]

Britney drops a lot of dough to keep away from KFed [IDLYITW]

Thanks to The Scotch, Kydd and Dave show in Fargo, ND for having me on a guest this morning!

Don't forget to vote Monica into the Big Brother house!

Britney Gets in Disguise

Is Britney Spears currently in NYC?! She might have joined KFed while he collects pennies from people in Times Square. Hey, a bitch gots to make a living. Gawker has these pictures of what looks like Brit and SPF shopping at the mall at Columbus Circle. Because of her past NYC experience, Brit may have wised up and covered her blonde wig with a brown one.

Good thinking! She should've given SPF a wig to complete the disguise.

Heather Locklear is a Size Queen

Heather Locklear and David Spade are still telling everyone they are just friends. Yeah, he does it to her in the butt.....but..they are JUST friends. The pair have been spotted all around town smoooching and getting close. Pals close to the couple still insist they aren't together.

A source said: "Heather and David were just goofing off; the whole thing was blown out of proportion. They were joking around and hamming it up, and the next thing you know, people are saying they're together."

Yeah right, they are doing it. A reader of mine tells me that David Spade is hung like a water buffalo. No wonder he attracts hot chicks. Heather is dickmatized.

[People]

The Paris and Blohan Slapfight?!

One of my readers claims she witnessed a Parasite Hilton and Lindsay Blohan bitch fight at Bungalow 8 in NYC this past Friday. Here's the lowdown:

I was at Bungalow on Friday and both Lindsay and Paris were there. I couldn't believe it but, Paris attacked Lindsay. I can't believe this hasn't made it onto any of the blogs, but i swear it happened. I didnt see the actual punch, but my friend heard the yelling and them getting pulled apart.

Later that night I heard Lindsay speaking to one of her friends and saying 'that bitch fucking hit me, like im bruised' but other then that was pretty mature about it saying 'i just wanna get the fuck away from her'.

It was almost closing and Lindz was on a very long trip to the bathroom to 'change' when Paris's table started yelling shit at Lindz's. table. They said 'the night was fucking over, why dont you just go home' while paris just sat there like an idiot saying nothing and grinning. Then her table all got up marched out, yelling 'firecrotch' on their way out.

I wasn't there, so I didn't see it. However, I would've straight-up pulled out a bucket of popcorn to watch these two go at it. I would have to wear a mask though, because crabs would be flying. And a crab in the eye isn't very comfortable.

Eva LongWHORIA to Write a Book!

Eva & Tony Parker at the Superman premiere in Los Angeles on June 22, 2006

Eva LongWHORIA is following in her Desperate Housewives co-star's footsteps by writing a book. Teri Snatcher's shitty book came out last month and now Eva has landed her own deal. The subject is still unknown.

She said: "They offered a huge deal and I like the idea of seeing my book on a shelf. The plot's top secret so far but let's just say I have a wild imagination."

Unless her book is about how a no-talent whore can make it in Hollywood, I'm not interested.

[SoFeminine]

Hoff Needs to Lay Off the Sauce

David Hasselhoff is a drunk. He's currently facing allegations that he gave his wife the beating of a lifetime. He's denied those charges. He hasn't dropped the sauce though. Most recently he was in Berlin at Google's Summer Party. He barely got through his set and slurred his songs. Google staffers had to write his lyrics on pieces of paper and place them throughout the stage, because his drunk ass couldn't remember them.

Hoff's reality show America's Got Talent premiered last night and even though I haven't yet seen it, I heard it sucked dick. Hoff should stick to entertaining Germans!

Watch the Video!

[Popbitch] [Thx Albz]

Keanu Reeves is Too Stupid to Use a Computer

Keanu Reeves said that he only writes letters, because he thinks e-mails are too impersonal. He doesn't even own a computer and only finds himself using one when he's at a friends house.

He said: "My friends have computers, so I can ask them to do something for me if I need to."

"Letters are something from you. It's a different kind of intention than writing an e-mail."

Basically, he's too dumb to work a computer. He probably can barely work a toaster.

[Post Chronicle]

SPF Loves to See His Mother's Sexy Dancing

Britney Spears in OK! Magazine

Britney Spears' son, SPF, loves to see his mother dancing all sexy. She said that her son loves to watch her old videos where she shows her thong and shakes her ass.

She said: "When my son sees me dance, he lights up."

Well, at least someone in her family enjoy her sexy dancing. You know her husband could give a shit.

[LSE]

Reese is Not Pregnant, Just Fat

Ok, she's not fat! She's "normal" as tubby people call it. Ok, just kidding! Anyway, Reese was out jogging yesterday after she filed papers to sue Star Magazine. American Media who owns Star issued this statement:

It is a frivolous lawsuit. It has no legal merit and we intend to vigorously defend it and have every confidence that we will prevail.

I'm gonna lay off her, because she basically minds her own business and keeps to herself.

I believe that she's not pregnant, because you have to have sex with your man in order to get knocked up.

Barbara Fans are No Joke

Fans of Barbara Streisand are threatening to sue her for fraud. Angry fans paid a small fortune for tickets to her last concert which was billed as her "last ever" performances. This was back in 1999 when Babs said this was her final farewell.

Well, her second "final farewell concert" will kick off this October. Tickets start at $100 and go all the way up to the thousands.

Don't mess with Barbara fans, they are hardcore! They travel in packs and know how to throw a punch. Seriously, this is going to flop. Nobody cares about that nasal-hag anymore.

And that's a picture of an impersonater, because they look better than she does.

[Female First]

Spare the Kids, Nicky

Nicole Kidman put her wedding preparations on hold to visit a children's hospital in Sydney. Nicky's two kids who just got off a plane from Tokyo joined her. They visited with patients and staff for roughly two hours.

Nicole is due to marry Keith Urban this Sunday.

I hope she wore a mask when visiting, those kids have been through enough.

[Us Weekly]

Katharine McPhee's Bulimia Battle

Katharine McPhee has told People Magazine that she was treated for an eating disorder just days before beginning American Idol. Katharine said she had been battling bulimia for five years. She sought treatment and was extremely afraid her vocal chords were affected by her constant barfing. At her worst, she was throwing up 7 times a day.

She said: "When I made it onto American Idol, I knew that food – my eating disorder – was the one thing really holding me back. I was bingeing my whole life away for days at a time … So when I got on the show, I said, 'You know what? I can do well in this competition. Let me give myself a chance and just get ahold of this thing.' "

With the support of her parents, Peisha, 52, and Daniel, 57, and her actor boyfriend, Nick Cokas, 41, in October McPhee enrolled at Los Angeles's Eating Disorder Center of California, where she spent three months undergoing group and individual therapy, six days a week.

Finally, her program at the Eating Disorder Center helped her gain control of her relationship with food – but it wasn't easy. "I really had to surrender and give up having a free life to do the program, because I'd be there from 9 in the morning until 7 at night. … I remember that first night, my dad holding me, crying and saying, 'I don't know why you have to suffer through this, but it's going to be okay.' "

And it's just a coincidence that all this comes out just 5 days before her first single drops on June 27th. Hmm...

[People]

Justin Sends Cameron and Her Acne Packing

Justin Timberlake may have finally gotten sick of popping Cameron Diaz's zits for her. According to the new JanetCharlton.com, Justin has dumped her ass. He is about to leave on his World Tour and wants to be free to roam and so he gave it to Cameron. Apparently, she's devastated and heartbroken. She was looking to settle down.

A source said: " "They were a great, well matched couple in many ways but Cameron (at 33) is ready to settle down and wants a commitment, even though she might not admit it. Justin is only 24 and he's been with Cameron for three years. He hasn't had a chance to sow his wild oats yet."

Cameron was recently seen Justin-free on a beach with Drew Barrymore.

The Dlisted Report

Newcomer, Hayley Atwell, has been cast as the female lead in Woody Allen's untitled film shooting in London. The film stars Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor and Tom Wilkinson. The film is the tale of two brothers with serious financial woes. When a third party proposes they turn to crime, things go bad and the two become enemies. Shooting begins this Summer. [Production Weekly]

Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center) has been hired to write a feature film based on the Gucci family for director, Ridley Scott. The exact storyline is unclear, although it is known to span many years and several locales tracking the lives of the Gucci clan, known for creating one of the elite fashion houses and putting its stamp on the fashion business over the course of decades. No word yet on when shooting will take place. [Variety]

Comedy Central has announced that they will roast William Shatner on August 20, 2006 at 10pm. Last year saw Pamela Anderson being roasted which was a huge and groundbreaking hit for the network. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for June 21st!

She wasn't sure which one was the baby's daddy so she took a picture with both of them. She'll just cut and paste later. - fo sho

Runner-up:

Lashonda decided to take both her daddy and grandaddy to her 8th grade dance. - Fiz

[Pic: Crunk + Disorderly] [Thx LaTania]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Wanda Sykes

Birthday Sluts

Cyndi Lauper (53)
Jai Rodriguez (29)
Donald Faison (32)
Alicia Goronsan (32)
Carson Daly (33)
Amy Brenneman (43)
Bruce Campbell (48)
Meryl Streep (57)
Lindsay Wagner (57)
Kris Kristofferson (70)

Is Kate Bosworth Too Skinny?

Kate Bosworth showed up looking like a wet rat to the Superman premiere in Los Angeles. Homegirl is only 23-years-old but looks straight-up 73-years-old. The white hair and bony chest isn't hot. No wonder Superman is gay.

I also love how Kevin Spacey is keeping a distance, because he knows that if he gets too close to Brandon Routh, the fruit in him will pop out.

Vote for Monica!

Tonight was the premiere of one of my guilty pleasures of Summer. 20 past contestants will fight for 12 spots in Big Brother 7: All-Stars. I basically only care about one bitch getting into the house. Monica from Season 2 was the hottest shit on Earth. She's from Brooklyn and doesn't mess around. She also belong in the house and I quote her:

"I'm honest, I don't lie, I always tell the truth, and I'm straight forward."

America gets to vote 3 men and 3 women into the house. CBS chooses the other 6. Voting closes June 28th and the bitches going into the house will be announced live in July.

Vote for Monica!

Reese is Angry and Not Knocked Up

Reese Witherspoon has filed a lawsuit against Star Magazine and claims that the mag violated her privacy by publishing a fictional story about her being pregnant.

In the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the Academy Award-winning actress claims the magazine published a false story that she was pregnant "in a callous effort to boost the tabloid's sagging sales."

"Contrary to the fabricated Cover Story," the lawsuit says, "the true facts are that [Reese] is not pregnant, does not have a 'baby bump' and has not otherwise gained weight such that she has had to resort to wearing 'Empire-waist dresses,' 'baggy clothing,' or an 'old-fashioned 1920's bathing suit.'"

Reese also alleges in the suit that "this fabricated tall tale was brazenly published as a prominent and conspicuous cover story for the purpose of garnering the maximum attention to the tabloid..."

The lawsuit claims the story was a violation of Reese's privacy and portrays her in a false light. It seeks unspecified damages.

Mike Kahane, General Counsel for American Media, told TMZ, "It is a frivolous lawsuit. It has no legal merit and we intend to vigorously defend it and have every confidence that we will prevail."

We asked Kahane if Star believes Witherspoon is pregnant. He said, "The article asks the question as to whether or not she is pregnant based on her physical appearance and clothing that she was wearing and we believe we have every right to ask that question."

So, basically she's just fat.

[TMZ]

What is This Troll Wearing?!

Is that a homeless granny or Mary-Kate Olsen? I'm still trying to figure this out.

Beast and the Beast

Hilary Duff is lucky to have a sister like Haylie. On her own, Hilary looks like a dog. But standing next to her sister, she looks like an effin supermodel.

Pete Doherty to Publish His Personal Diaries

Yup, our favorite crackhead is going to publish his personal diaries.

The noir scribblings of the Babyshambles frontman — including drawings, photographs, poems and film reviews — have been culled from 20 volumes of Doherty's personal journals and will be published in hardback in March 2007.

Orion Publishing Group said Wednesday it had purchased world rights to the journals, but Doherty later failed to attend an event to celebrate the deal at London's Boogaloo pub.

The singer had been slated to read an excerpt from one of his poems.

His diaries date back to 1999 — before Doherty first caught the attention of the media with the now disbanded post-punk revival band The Libertines.

Doherty's writings chronicle his rise from anonymity to celebrity, Orion commissioning editor Ian Preece said.

"Some of it is quite funny," Preece told reporters. "But some of it is very, very dark."

I'm thinking it will go something like this:

March 1, 2004 - Shot up
March 2, 2004 - Shot up, got arrested, snogged Kate
March 3, 2004 - Shot up, got arrested
March 4, 2004 - Went to granny's, Shot up
March 5, 2004 - Shot up, passed out
January 18, 2006 - Woke up, shot up

[Yahoo]

Guess Who?

Click here to find out!



It's KFed!!!! Here's this piece of trash doing some work for Virgin's penny awareness campaign. It's ironic that he's part of a penny campaign, because that's how much he's worth. I'd still hit that shit tho.

Posh in Denim Panties

Afternoon Crumbs

The NY Giants gay affair [Towleroad]

Perez Hilton can help you cum [SOW]

Nelly Furtado was in a cult [BWE]

Jessica Simpson can't believe Nick is moving on [Hollywood Rag]

Stanley Tucci can't keep his hands to himself [Egotastic!]

Paris Hilton tries to dance [IDLYITW]

Paris remixed [Popbytes]

Colin Farrell gets sweaty [Just Jared]

KFed hates little kids [WWTDD]

CZJ's baby factory [Drunken Stepfather]

You know you want a whale burger [SAYOR]

Aaron Spelling keeps on ticking [Popsugar]

The Coreys!

Corey Feldman and Corey Haim will join forces to hopefully resurrect their careers from the gutter. They will star in a new comedy series called The Coreys. The show centers on fictional versions of themselves. The Coreys will reunite Feldman,— who's living the comfortable suburban life with his wife Suzie and son,— with Haim, a bachelor and the total opposite of Feldman! Episodes would follow Haim as he shakes life up for the Feldmans.

Yeah, this show is gonna suck! UPN here they come!

[The National Enquirer]

Katie Joel Must Pack Up Her Knives

The trophy wife of Billy Joel and robotic Top Chef host, Katie Joel, has been cut loose from the hit Bravo reality show. Top Chef made its debut last season and followed contestants from around the country who use their culinary skills to beat elimination and come out on top winning a bunch of dumb prizes. Think Project Runway with beef.

The second season airs this Fall and Katie Joel will not be back. No reason was given for her departure.

Only one reason comes to mind on why she got the ax: BITCH SUCKED!!!

[Defamer]

TomKat's Still Around

Tom Cruise is talking crazy while promoting MI3 in Tokyo. When asked about his upcoming wedding to Katie Holmes, he promised that it would be this year. They haven't set a date. He also talked about the non-existent Suri.

"Suri's doing beautifully ... She's sleeping through the night. Very happy little girl."

Robots usually sleep through the night when programmed. The crazy one also promised to add more members to his crazy crew.

"I'm hoping maybe I have 10 children someday."



[Post Chronicle]

What the Hell is Wrong with Brittany Murphy's Face?

[Thx Ivey]

Richard Ashcroft Scares Little Kids

Former Verve frontman, Richard Ashcroft, was arrested in England on Monday for showing up drunk to a youth club. He showed up to The Bridge Club in Chippenham and burst through the doors and announced: “I’m Richard, I’m going to be doing some youth work round here”.

Someone called the cops and he was arrested.

A witness said: “He was very strung out and close to tears at one point. He kept saying he wanted to work with kids, that he wanted to do ‘good things’."

“He looked like a tramp. He was dishevelled and unshaven with filthy clothes, and there was saliva caked around his mouth. He was off his head, although he wasn’t slurring his words.”

He was later released after he was fined.

Could this be the new Pete Doherty? Probably not, but it made me laugh. I can totally picture this fool bursting in and scaring the tweens.

[ONTD]

Chestica Simpson Gives Scary Face

Woah!!! That's not the chupacabra, that's Chestica Simpson at that T-Mobile party. You know you're giving sick face, when you make Eva LongWHORIA look positively natural and purty.

How many whores does it take to work the new Sidekick 3?!







[Thx Laura]

Paris Hilton Needs to be Potty Trained

Paris Hilton at the T-Mobile Sidekick 3 party on June 20, 2006

Parasite Hilton needs to a good lesson in potty training. On a recent trip to Europe, she made her helicopter land on a German farm so she could use their bathroom. She asked her security dudes to tell the family that owned the farm house that she needed to use their bathroom.

A source said: "She gave the farmer a bit of a shock. Her bouncers even blocked the farm door so the family couldn't go inside their own house while she was using the loo."

Speaking of a pissing Paris...a friend once told me an amazing story about her:

"I was at an after-party for Paris Hilton's movie Pledge This! The party was at Capitale in NYC. Paris was in the V.I.P. section with a bunch of her nasty friends. Paris was completely trashed and was talking shit on everyone. All of a sudden, she giggles about how she needs to take a piss and I kid you not...bitch hiked up her skirt and squatted down and took a piss right on the floor!!! Everyone around her was laughing! After she finished, she laughed some more and then they left. Bitch is sick!"

I believe it. Her vagina and pee-hole are so loose that she can't control it.

Oh and by the way, bitch needs to stop trying to set trends. The half-glove thing is NOT HOT!

[Female First]

I Love Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie at T-Mobile's Sidekick party on June 20, 2006

As much as I give her hell, I do have a special place in my heart for Nicole Richie. When she cleans up, homegirl looks good. Her and I would be good on a deserted island together, because we could rub our bones together to make fire.

This Dude is Too Old to Get Married

Robert Evans 7th marriage to a Lady Victoria White has ended after 11-months. Robert, 72, and Victoria, 43, filed divorce papers this past Friday. Robert is known to be a womanizer even though he can't get it up. According to a friend of a friend, Robert makes his girlfriends get it on with other women while he watches...because he's unable to perform.

Anyway! At least this marriage lasted longer than his 10-day marriage to Catherine Oxenberg.

P.S. - You know Paula hit it.

[Page Six]

Zahara Hates Shiloh!

Angelina Jolie gave her first US interview last night to Anderson Cooper on CNN. I didn't catch the interview, but I'll watch it tonight. It looks kind of boring cause she talks about World peace and shit and I want to know how much she hates Jennifer Aniston. Anyway, she spoke about her new baby and what her other children think of her. She said that Maddox absolutely loves Shiloh and Zahara.

She said: "Mad loves her. Because when Z came home she was older, she was seven months old, so for Mad it's like having this tiny little pet he can just hold and look at. He's great."

She did say that Zahara was just a little jealous of Shiloh, because they are both little girls.

Angelina also was aware of her new biological baby's effect on her two adopted children.

"I was kind of prepared to defend my other children. I was prepared to kind of give them extra love and attention, because something was going to be different about this new one."

Maddox told her to say that. You know he hates those two, but wants to come off soft. He told Angie that if she didn't speak positive about him, he'd give an exclusive interview to Barbara Walters.

[People]

Naomi is Here for Nicole!

Naomi Watts has landed in Sydney from New York to support Nicole Kidman on her wedding day. Nicole Kidman's big wedding to Keith Urban is expected to take place sometime this weekend in Sydney. Guests will include Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Rupert Murdoch. TomKat will not attend, but their two kids will arrive in Australia later this week.

As Naomi left the airport she told photographers: "I'm very excited for my friend."

I have a feeling we may have a Suri sighting this weekend...Tom's not about to let Nicole take the spotlight!

[People]

Blohan VS. Parasite - Round 3 or 4?

The battle between Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton is heating up. Last week, Paris bitched Lindsay out for accusing her of dating Nachos. The two ran into each other again at Butter in NYC. This past Friday at a small concert by Prince, Lindsay followed Paris into the bathroom to tell her off. According to witnesses, they had a huge fight. When Lindsay returned to her private booth after giving Paris what's good, she found Diddy seated in her place. She joked to him that he was in her seat and what was he doing there? Diddy apparently didn't like the joke and ordered her and her crew of wannabe-hipsters to get the hell out.

A source said: "Everyone was sharing, but Lindsay refused and began mixing it up with Puffy. His bodyguards came over and picked Lindsay up to get her out."

Diddy also got into a minor fight with one of Lindsay's friends. Once outside, Lindsay demanded to the owners of Butter that they kick Diddy out. They refused and bitch left.

A Diddy spokesperson said: "Lindsay was being so loud and obnoxious. His security became concerned and came over to escort her away."

Are they dumb bitches 12-years-old? Lindsay needs to spend less time creating drama and more time taking acting lessons.



[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Natalie Portman and Eric Bana have agreed to star in Other Boleyn Girl, an adaptation of a historical novel. The story is about two ferociously ambitious sisters, Mary and Anne (Portman) Boleyn, who were rivals for the bed and heart of the King Henry VIII (Bana). Shooting begins this Fall in London. [Variety]

Terrence Howard and Topher Grace are in talks to star in The Crusaders. The story recounts the 1954 Supreme Court case in which Greenberg, a recent law school grad, and Thurgood Marshall, as head of the NAACP's Legal Defense Fund, teamed to help end segregation in schools. Marshall eventually became the first African-American Supreme Court justice. [Variety]

A feature film based on the acclaimed video game, Clock Tower, is currently in the works. Screenwriter, Jake Wade Wall (When a Stranger Calls) will pen the script. The pic concerns a young woman who receives a disturbing phone call from her estranged mother warning her not to come home. When she investigates, she uncovers a terrible supernatural truth from her past. [Variety]

Dreams do come true!

by Lahoma00

At long last, my prayers have been answered! Coming this summer is an action figure of The Fabulous Moolah, one of the most glamorous women of all time! This slut is about 86 and has been wrestling since Moses parted the Red Sea. She was WWF champion a few years ago---the bitch is still bodyslamming! Remember back in 1984 when she beat Cyndi Lauper with a chair?

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for June 20th!

Brandon Davis competes in the Dirty Fucks Arm Wrestling Championship. - Jennifer

Runner-up:

not a comment really but I do want to suckle on those tiddies. Am I bad? - Anonymous 3:59pm

[Wow Report]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lewis the Cat

Birthday Sluts

Jane Russell (85)
Prince William Windsor (24)
Brandon Flowers (25)
Juliette Lewis (33)
Doug Savant (42)
Michael Gross (59)
Meredith Baxter (59)
Mariette Hartley (66)

Battle of the Wigs!!!

Little Richard and Chaka Khan at the Apollo Spring Gala in NYC on June 19, 2006

She's Snorted Enough Dust

Brittany Murphy has been announced to be the voice of Tinkerbell for Disney in a new animated film. The film will be part of their "Fairies" line which debuted last Fall.

Murphy, 28, provides the voice for the character Luanne Platter on the animated TV show "King of the Hill." Her voice will be the first ever to emanate from the mouth of Peter Pan's feisty sidekick in a Disney animated film. The direct-to-video film is due out in 2007.

What did Tinkerbell do to deserve this crackhead as her new voice?



[Reuters]

Nicole Kidman Gives Beer - Not Pregnant

The paparazzi are currently camping out in front of Nicole Kidman's house to try and get some shots of her while she prepares for her wedding to Keith Urban. The pair have decided to play nice and bestowed a gift of beer on them. Written on the case of 24 bottles of "Victoria Bitter" beer was a note: "Enjoy!, Nicole and Keith."

That was nice of them! I wouldn't drink it though, because you know they put some laxatives in there.

Nicole's spokesperson also denied that she was pregnant: "This is a rumor that comes around every month. It has for past year or two. Believe me on this one: She is religious, and that would never do."

She is religious?! What does that mean? She obviously isn't that religious or she wouldn't have married a fag for money and fame.

[A Socialite's Life]

Ugly Louis Vuitton Ad

Pharrell Williams dons pink lipgloss for a new LV ad. Not hot and so gay. For a second there, I thought it was Diana Ross.

[ONTD]

Who is Paris Hilton Sleeping With Today?

She's sleeping with a hockey player named Jose Theodore. He plays for the Colorado Avalanche and hooked up with Paris on her recent trip to Toronto for the MuchMusic Awards. The two were seen at an after party for the Awards and then later at her hotel.

Paris' spokeswhore said: "Paris is single now, as she has stated publicly. This is a time in her life where she will be concentrating both on her work and friends. Nobody should read into any photos, gossip or reports about her social life."

That was just who she is sleeping with today. Tomorrow will be someone different.

[TMZ]

The Bigger Fruit?

Gay Al or Star Jones' dress? Jesus! If Gay Al is going try this straight thing, he must learn how to tone shit down. A white suit screams everything, but straight man. These two wrecks attended the Apollo Theater Spring Gala last night in NYC. Afterwards, Gay Al borrowed that dress to go sing karaoke with his homeboys.

Afternoon Crumbs

LL Cool J lies and says he's surgery free [TMZ]

Trying to quit smoking? Try nicotine water [BWE]

Brit's got a new song [Popsugar]

Meet Project Runway 3's deeziners [Just Jared]

Tom Cruise in Tokyo [Hollywood Rag]

Jessica Simpson gets classy in Maxim [Egotastic!]

God, who is wearing less make-up? [Cityrag]

Ryan Seacrest doesn't wave the rainbow flag [IDLYITW]

The word on Justin Timberlake's new album [Popbytes]

Lara Flynn fills out her bathing suit [Mollygood]

Halle's Pussy

Bad joke! Catwoman herself, Halle Berry, and hot boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, spend some time with a little kitten. I can't stand their happiness. I hope that cat ends up shitting in their bed.

My Little Pony Oscar Bound?

My Little Pony Parker as The Devil Wears Prada premiere in NYC on June 19, 2006

Beau Bridges was extremely impressed with his co-star My Little Pony Parker while filming Spinning Into Butter. Beau plays a professfor at a liberal university.

Beau said: "Sarah Jessica's character is the new dean at the university where this kid is a victim of a series of racial crimes. My character is a forward-thinking person, who organizes meetings of students about this, then people get fired up and have fights."

Could this be Pony's year?! I hope not. However, I will not make any bets like I did with Kiki Dunst. I vowed that if Kiki was nominated for Marie Antoinette, I'd eat my pubes. I won't take that chance with Pony!



[LA Daily News]

Lewis Has Been Saved!

One of the most beautiful creatures in the World, Lewis, has been spared! A judge ordered that he will not be put to death, but must remain in his Connecticut home at all times. Lewis was on trial for assaulting several of his neighbors with his formiddable claws.

There are no exceptions. None," said Judge Patrick Carroll, who also granted accelerated rehabilitation to Lewis' owner, Ruth Cisero. That means her record will be expunged if she successfully completes two years of probation.

Cisero had faced a charge of reckless endangerment because neighbors complained that the cat's long claws and stealth have allowed it to attack at least a half-dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

Cisero had fought to keep Lewis alive and in Connecticut. She rejected a previous offer of accelerated rehabilitation if she agreed to euthanize Lewis.

Carroll said Lewis cannot leave the house, even if he gets out accidentally. He said the case is not about a cat, but about people having the right to live in safety in their neighborhoods.

The case drew national attention. Lewis has appeared in People magazine and his own page on the social networking site MySpace.com.

But Cisero said Tuesday she would prefer to have never had the attention.

"I never thought it would come to this," she said. "It's been an absolute nightmare. It's ruined my life."

Long live Lewis! God has heard my prayers and gave Lewis a second chance! Soon those pesky neighbors will learn not to screw with this pussy! He's going to get his revenge on them and it ain't going to be purty! I was seriously ready to rescue Lewis from the electric chair if it came down to that.

[SF Gate] [Thx to all who sent this to me]

More Beach Bones

Here's more pics of Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie and Cisco Adler spending a day at the beach in Los Angeles on June 17th. I personally think that Richie looks hot. Yeah, she's a skinny girl but she still looks kind of sexy. And no I'm NOT into 10-year-old boys! Mischa looks like a mess. She's just kind of softy and bony at that the same time.

Cisco probably contaminated the Pacific ocean, he's wretched. That dog is the hottest of the four.

I'm Gonna Vom!

I love the fact that Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy found love. I don't love the fact that some paparazzi decided to ruin my lunch by snapping photos of Carrey tongue doing the dirty tango with McCarthy tongue. Tastes like chicken.

Jesus!!!!! It's in the Water!

Heidi Klum and Seal are expecting their third child. The pair have a 9-month-old named Henry and a 2-year-old named Leni. Leni is from Heidi's previous relationship with Flavio Briatore.

A source close the couple confirm to Us Weekly that she's indeed knocked up. Heidi's reality show, Project Runway, will begin its third season on July 12th. Click here to learn about the new contestants.

I really hope their third child is cuter than Henry. He's homely. Oh and he doesn't care that I think so.

You Know You Want This!

KFed looked boiling hot as he sunbathed in Miami yesterday. I know all of you must now go to the restroom and clean yourself up, because these pictures are so sexy. I can smell him from here. We always joke about Britney being fat, but this ho needs to do some serious crunches.

Tori Spelling is Still Jealous

Mary Jo Eustace is the ex-wife of Dean McDermott. Dean now belongs to Tori Spelling. Mary Jo is currently shopping a tell-all book about her relationship with Dean and how Tori stole her man. At this Sunday's MuchMusic Awards in Canada, the three came face to face. Tori apparently ordered staffers to kick Mary Jo out or she would leave. The organizers agreed and threw her shit to the curb.

While presenting, Tori said this about being married to a Canadian: "“They're a lot nicer and they have nasty ex-wives who write tellall books. What more could a girl ask for?"

Tori later told Page Six that she didn't kick MJ out: "“She plays the victim card over and over . . . It's pathetic bordering on lunacy. I hope for the sake of her children she gains some self respect."

Doesn't Tori strangely resemble those Bratz dolls. I take that back, those dolls never did anything wrong to be given that comparison.

Happy Birthday Botox Kidman!

Nicole Kidman looks fresh and ready for both her birthday and wedding. Nicky turns 85 39 today! These are some new pics of her in Sydney and well let's blame her plastic face and frizzy hair on nerves. Chick needs to lay off the stuff.





[Thx velvett1]

Xtina's "Ain't No Other Man" Video

The song absolutely sucks! The video is kind of hot even though the quality is pretty poor. Get it while you can!

Another Celebrity Brat

Sister of Andrew Shue, Elisabeth Shue, has given birth to a baby girl. Elisabeth and her husband, Davis Guggenheim have named her Agnes Charles Guggenheim.

Agnes Charles?! Sounds like an old money socialite who is like 80-years-old and smokes cigars. This is their third child together.

More importantly, wtf happened to that hot brother of hers?

[People]

Pink is Hot

I like Pink, but homegirl looks like a mess while performing in Budapest. The hair, the dress, the everything is absolute disgust. How is she going to pick up a hot chick decked out like that? Britney Spears called her one of her role models. Even though Pink looks like a grade A wreck, she's still more cleaned up than Brit Brit.

The Dlisted Report

Josh Lucas has agreed to star in a biopic about GQ and Esquire Magazine found David Smart called Smart. The film centers on the magazine powerhouse whose life was almost entirely consumed by his germ phobia. He and a circle of colleagues created a long string of classroom instructional films on health and hygiene. Meanwhile, he led an unorthodox personal life and was known for his womanizing and affinity for shirtless photos of himself. Lucas will play an FBI investigator. The title role has not yet been cast. [Variety]

Owen Wilson is set to star in Drillbit Taylor. Based on an original idea by John Hughes, the story revolves around two high school freshmen who are targeted by the school bully on the first day of the school year. The boys hire what they think is a low-budget soldier of fortune (Owen Wilson) to protect them, but he turns out to be anything but. Shooting begins this September in Los Angeles with a Summer 2007 release. [THR]

Selma Blair will topline The Listening Party. The script follows Doyle Bucklin, a musician facing his own creative mortality and, like many artists, as inspiration skipped out, liquour and drugs moved in. Around the same time, Doyle achieves some commercial success, and a major record label releases his new album. His manager (Blair) has crafter a burgeoning career in the wake of Doyle's success, even managing to spin Doyle's self-destruction into a buzz worthy public image. The indie feature shoots this August in Los Angeles. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Winner for June 19th!

Little known fact - Paris Hilton auditioned for a role in Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones, however, she didn't get a part because her clone out-acted her... - drewseph

Runner - up:

Wow Jessica and Asslee really do look like twins these days. - madgal1971

[Thx Lori]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sandy Duncan

Birthday Sluts

Nicole Kidman (39)
Rebecca Loos (28)
Josh Lucas (35)
Robert Rodriguez (38)
John Goodman (54)
Lionel Richie (57)
Tina Sinatra (58)
Bob Vila (60)
Brian Wilson (64)
Stephen Frears (65)
Danny Aiello (73)

Star Jones Quote of the Day!

to Sandra Benhard:

"I look too cute to go off on you!"

Nicole & Keith Confirm Their Wedding Plans!

As expected, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban arrived in Sydney today to begin their wedding preparations. They also confirmed that they are getting hitched in their native Australia.

"We have come home to celebrate our wedding with our family and friends."

The exact date is unknown, although it is widely believed that they will marry on Sunday at the Mary Mckillop Chapel near Nicole's family home. Nicole is expected to wear a Balenciaga gown. Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Naomi Watts are all expected to attend.

[E! Online]

Beach Beastiality!

Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton showed their bones (literally) at a beach in Los Angeles. Richie sucked face with one of her dogs. It looks disgusting, but I do that with my dog. Hey, if you ain't getting elsewhere at least you can count on your pooch to give it to you. You know she puts a little Gravy Train on her chocha and gets a little tongue action downtown. Damn, I'm crude.

Beckham Lovin'

David and Posh Beckham have renewed their vows right before their World Cup party. According to sources they held an intimate ceremony in their backyard with just their children and nanny present.

A close friend said: "It was a very intimate ceremony. David was dressed in white and said he had fallen in love with Victoria all over again.

"He says they are getting on better since they moved into their house in Madrid and they are operating as a solid family for the first time in years."

The couple were married in 1999 (above) in Dublin. That's when Posh didn't look like an alien!

[Female First]

Do Dolphins Eat People?!

I really need to learn how to speak to dolphins so I could have instructed this one to take a bite out of that annoying slag.

Eva LongWHORIA and that dude spent a lovely day in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Look at this Mess!

Pamela Anderson kept her face down while leaving Ralphs grocery store in Los Angeles. She wore her usual outfit of white sweats and a white tank top. She didn't brush her hair and her bagina does smell like Pita chips.

Afternoon Crumbs

A brown wig can't even hide Paris Hilton's stank [Popsugar]

Reality show lovin [Crunk + Disorderly]

Mischa Barton is picking up the check [Egotastic!]

The AP succumbs to Namibia fever [SuicideGirls]

Jessica Biel is preparing for something [Hollywood Tuna]

Jessica Alba gets it on with a lollipop [IDLYITW]

Christina Ricci really looks like an alien [Hollywood Rag]

A Matthew Sandwich [Just Jared]

If you haven't already, don't forget to FREE KATIE!

For a Second There I Thought She Slit Her Wrists!

Damnit! I thought my wish had come true! No, that's not gauze keeping Paris Hilton's wrists together. It's just some nerdy gloves she's wearing that she thinks make her look "hot." Paris stunk up Canada at the MuchMusic Awards last night. Come to think of it, she probably needs to wear those gloves to protect the open sores on her hands due to an outrageous amount of hand jobs she gives a day.

Save Screech's House!

Screech from Saved by the Bell is losing his house and needs out help. He's selling some t-shirts so he won't be homeless. I'm not going to buy one, but you should. I have my own shit to worry about it. However, if it was Jesse Spano I'd be all over it!

Save Screech's House!

Wait, I just remembered. Screech is apparently sporting 10 inches! Ok, SOLD!

Connie Chung is the Your Next American Idol

Connie Chung shows her singing chops while signing off to her weekend show that just got cancelled. This show was insane and I will will miss it. Connie belongs on Broadway.

Reese Witherspoon is Knocked Up

Ryan Phillipe is going to be a dad again. Reese Witherspoon is expecting her third child. They already have a boy and a girl. Reese first sparked rumors in May when she showed up to a Malibu beach looking plumper than usual. A source close to the family confirmed that she's pregnant.

"She's a very private person, and doesn't often talk about it when she is pregnant."

Hmm...what can I say about this? I can say...I can say...I really want a grilled cheese!

[Post Chronicle]

Kate Beckinsale has the Squirts

No, it's not what you think! She's not saying she can squirt out of her lady parts, she's saying she can squirt her breast milk. While on Jay Leno promoting Click, Kate admitted she developed an unusual talent when she gave birth to her daughter.

She said: "I do miss breastfeeding. I was good at it. I got more than my fair share - I could hit the wall from quite a distance! I do have some useless talents."



[Female First]

These Girls are Role Models!

The Pussycat Dolls perform in Lisbon, Portugal

Little girls look up to The Pussycat Dolls. I know this, because my little cousins who are like 4-years-old love them! I don't think they realize that PCD are basically whores who lip-sync. I am going to try and get my little cousins to instead look up to respectable women like Jordan, Kerry Katona, Coco and Posh.

At Least it Distracts from her Face!

Tori Spelling and whatshisface showed up to the MuchMusic Awards in Canada to bring a little star power to the event. Tori wore a gorgeous orange frock that tried its hardest to distract from her ugly face.

Britney Needs Help

When producers and crew members showed up at Britney Spears' Malibu home to interview her for Dateline, they were shocked to find the pop star alone.

A source said: "When [the NBC crew] got there, they thought they had the wrong day . . . During the interview, no one was there to rein things in."

Britney's two publicists were not present and she decided to do her own make-up and hair. That's why she looked like effin trash. Her spokeswhores responded as to why they weren't present for the interview:

"Britney is a grown-up and makes her own decisions."

This is what happens when you don't have people looking after you. Seriously, she needed a stylist, make-up artist, wig maker, dialect coach, six publicists, an acting coach, a pilates instructor, a few construction workers and a dance choreographer to make her look decent.

Poor Brit has been in this game long enough to know! No wonder she always looks like hell!

[Page Six]

Those Eyebrows!!!

Jesse Metcalfe is a slave to plucking. Here he is at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Canada on June 18th.

Can She Adopt Me?

Angelina Jolie told Anderson Cooper in a CNN interview that will air this Tuesday that she is planning to adopt another child. Angie and Brad Pitt currently have 3 kids. Shiloh Nouvel was born last month, Maddox was adopted from Cambodia and Zahara was adopted from Africa. She wouldn't say where their fourth child would come from, but did say it would be from a different country.

She said: "It's going to be the balance of what would be the best for Mad and for Z right now."

I'm thinking she should adopt someone from NYC who is 27-years-old, like 6'1", really skinny, curly brown hair with a mouth like a sailor. I think that's what Mad and Z need.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Donald Trump will bring the classic board game, Monopoly, to the small screen. The reality series will focus on real estate. Producer, R.J. Cutlers (Flip That House), will executive produce. [Variety]

Larry Hagman (Dallas), Brooke Shields and Kathleen Turner will all guest-star on Nip/Tuck next season. Hagman will play the much older husband of a beautiful thirtysomething woman (Sanaa Lathan), who buy McNamara/Troy, the Miami-based plastic surgery practice of Dr. Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh) and Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon). [THR]

Cars was the #1 movie for the second week in a row with $31.2 Million. Nacho Libre debuted at #2 with just over $27 Million. Fast and the Furious 3 rounded out the top 3 with $24.1 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest for June 16th!

George Bush announced the bird flu pandemic has reached epic proportions in the San Francisco area. - ME

Runner-up:

Clay Aiken's Guardian Angels" - Cam

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mary McFadden

Birthday Sluts

Paula Abdul (44)
Zoe Saldana (28)
Mia Maestro (28)
Hugh Dancy (31)
Poppy Montgomery (34)
Robin Tunney (34)
Sadie Frost (39)
Kathleen Turner (52)
Phylicia Rashad (58)
Gena Rowlands (76)

Paris Should've Been Arrested!

Parasite Hilton lit up a ciggie while passing around her diseases to some dude at Marquee in NYC. Smoking indoors is against the law in NYC, but that didn't stop this piece of trash from lighting up. Paris and her bitch, Caroline D'Starfucker, tried their hardest at looking sexy. That dude is so drunk he doesn't realize that millions of crabs and slugs have entered his system.

Vintage Vin Diesel

[Towleroad]

JLo Wants a Baby Really Bad

Everyone in Hollywood is getting pregnant, but JLo. She apparently wants a baby so bad that she went under the knife. According to sources she had a fertility procedure in the hopes that she will get knocked up with Marc Anthony's baby.

A source said: "The procedure involved the introduction of a laparoscope into J.Lo's abdomen through a small hole near the belly button, for the purpose of taking a close look at the ovaries, fallopian tubes and other organs for adhesions or possible malformations."

She should just buy one! I'd be afraid with a husband that looks like that to have a baby. She would probably give birth to a bag of bones.

[The National Enquirer]

Hot Slut of the Week: Parker Posey

Age: 38
Birthday: November 8, 1968
Birth Name: Parker Christian Posey

Original Date of Hot Sluts of the Day: June 15, 2006
Claim to Fame: Made her debut in soaps, but quickly became Queen of the Indies. Gained attention as 1995's Party Girl.

Where is she now? Busier than ever! She can be seen in this Summer's Superman Returns.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She lives down the street from me and is hot shit! I've loved her ever since Party Girl and look forward to every movie she's in. She should've won an Oscar for The House of Yes.

Kidman in Shanghai

Nicole Kidman was honored by OMEGA in Shanghai, China. Nicky and Keith Urban are currently on their way to Sydney to get hitched next Sunday. Last week, Nicky sported a sizable baby bump. She still has a little bump during this event, but it may just be the way the skirt is gathering. I'm not sure if she's pregnant and I'm not sure if I really care. I'm sure she'll make a wonderful mother, but she needs to lay off the botox and lifts. She's a gorgeous woman without it, but everytime I see her...those eyebrows get higher and higher. Stop the lift!

Jim and Jenny are in Love!

Jim Carrey and JennyMcCarthy show their love for each other by holding hands at the Santa Monica Airport. The two got on a helicopter and headed for love land on June 15th. Jim needs to cut that shit, besides that I'm happy they found love together. I will be there to ridicule them when they break-up as well.

Geri Haliwell Wants Posh Beckham

Posh and Cheryl Tweedy going to dinner in Germany on June 12, 2006

Geri Haliwell has apparently asked Posh Beckham to be Blueball Madonna's Godmother. The two have had a rocky past ever since Geri quit the Spice Girls. But lately they have been hanging out and mending their relationship.

A source said: "They have been through thick and thin together and the bond between them is stronger than ever. She (Beckham) was like a sister to her when she was pregnant. Geri is passionate about having strong role models, especially female ones, in her daughter's life. And who better than Victoria?"

I agree Posh is a great role model. She realized early on that she doesn't have talent or that many skills, so she needed to bag a rich dude in order to stay the skinny and plastic ho she is. What better role model is there?

[Entertainmentwise]

Jordan Hates Small T*ts

Jordan has same major breast-action going on. She's had about two or three surgeries to get her breasts to just the size she wants them. She has said in the past that she's interested in getting them adjusted.

She doesn't understand why a man would ever want a woman with small ones. She said:

"Bigger boobs make me feel more womanly and I don't think women should be flat-chested."

If womanly meets more cheap and slutty than I'll have to agree with Jordan. I do love her, but those breasts are just distracting. However, she's still the hottest piece on the planet.

[Female First]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Karen Mulder

Birthday Sluts

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Andrea Evans (49)
Alison Moyet (45)
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Roger Ebert (64)