KFed is Such a Tool!

KFed hosted a party at Mansion in Miami last night. He tried to DJ and probably played some of his shitty music. He also tried to look gangsta and shit swigging on Cristal that Britney Spears most likely paid for. Aren't we on a Cristal boycott? What are those idiotic signs he keeps throwing?

Star Jones Getting Her Morning Exercise!

How Do I Flirt With a Chick?

Jake Gyllenhaal looked nervous as he talked to two chicks while lunching in Los Angeles. He's trying to figure out how to talk to women. He's look sort of hot here, but needs a shave. He goes on and off for me. Who am I fooling? I'd still hit that piece.

Guess What?!

PETE DOHERTY ARRESTED!!!



Yeah, surprising right?! At least he's wearing pink this time, that kind of softens his look. I say that if you're gonna be arrested for being high as a kite on a flight to Sweden, you might as well look demure and soft.

JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty was arrested in Sweden last night after being carted off a plane in a “drug-fuelled high”.

The singer, 27, had to be put in a wheelchair trolley and pushed from the plane before being taken into custody.

According to witnesses, Doherty looked “wasted”. It was his second mid-air drug drama in two weeks.

Last night’s disgrace came just hours after Doherty had checked himself out of rehab in Portugal.

A passenger on the flight from Amsterdam to Stockholm said: “As soon as he got on everyone could tell he was clearly on drugs.

“He was with a friend who was nearly in as bad a state. As soon as we took off Doherty began walking around and started arguing with the stewardesses. They told him to sit down and refused to give him any drink.”

Doherty had been due to perform at a music festival in southern Sweden last night.

A Customs police spokesman said: “He is being questioned over drugs.”

I can't even comment anymore. I think Petey gets arrested more times in a week than the number of times I change my undies. Did I just admit that?

[The Sun]

Gaycrest Looks for a New Beard

Hot Slut of the Day!

Faye Resnick

Birthday Sluts

Jason Patric (40)
Venus Williams (26)
Paulina Rubio (33)
Greg Kinnear (43)
Thomas Haden Church (45)
Bobby Farrelly (48)
Joe Piscopo (55)
Barry Manilow (63)

Britney on a Golf Cart

Britney Spears and SPF in Miami Beach on June 8, 2006

A daiquri in one hand and a baby in the other! Ok, a virgin daiquri

Would You Hit This?

Prince at Good Morning America Concert Series in NYC on June 16, 2005

Prince: I would def hit old Prince, but new Jesus-Prince I'm not sure. He looks like he's hung thick though.

Hot Video of the Day!

Those were the days!

[Thx Black Mama]

Look Like a $2 Hooker

Paris Hilton on June 8, 2006

Paris Hilton thinks she's the queen of style and wants to lend some advice to Britney Spears. While on The View, she said:

"I think she could have dressed much cuter... She should have worn a really cute maternity dress and she would have looked beautiful."

I would love to see Paris' idea of a cute maternity dress. Even Britney probably thinks Paris is trash.



[Post Chronicle]

No Namibia for Britney

Earlier, I posted a story that Britney Spears had been in contact with government officials in Namibia about possibly having her baby there. Officials had said that she had shown interest.

However, Brit's reps say there is "no truth" at all to that story.

I guess Britney won't be feeling the love tonight. Sorry, another bad joke. I need a cocktail.

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

I love the ghetto prom [Crunk + Disorderly]

Victoria Silvstedt gets a blow job on a boat [IDLYITW]

Did Jessica Simpson have a nose job too? [Cityrag]

Gwen Stefani and her new family out and about [Hollywood Rag]

Natalie and Gael may be back together [Egotastic!]

Carmen Electra puts down her implants [Hollywood Tuna]

Britney Spears looking absolutely lovely in a bikini...I'm trying to be nice here [Gabsmash]

More of bikini Brit [Just Jared]

Parasite and Blohan's dance off [WWTDD]

Thanks to WEBN in Cincinnati, Jackie and the Bender in Seattle, and W Radio in Colombia for having me on their shows this week!

Click here for a chance to win two free tickets to the Broadway musical The Wedding Singer!

All Over Laura Bush!

Chaos ensued on The View this morning when guest, Sandra Bernard, talked about Laura Bush being heavily medicated. Elizabeth Hasselcrack flipped her lid and that's when it got hot. It was much too much for Joy Behar and she hit the road. Star Jones, surprisingly get her trout lips shut.

If you ask me, Hasselcrack needs to shut her mouth and go back to Survivor island.

Watch the vid!

[TMZ]

Do Virgins Carry Around Condoms?

Yesterday, I posted a quote from Hilary Duff stating that she's a virgin in the bagina, but not in the ass. Reader Laura sent me this photo from a couple of months ago of young Hil carrying around a condom in her bag. Interesting...

UPDATE - It's photoshopped!!! Check out TMZ

Panty Creamer of the Day: Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken at the "Click" premiere in L.A. on June 14, 2006

Copying Asshole Simpson

Is Cameron Diaz getting a nose job? She needs it.

Apparently, Cameron was so impressed with Asshole's nose job that she's going to the exact same plastic surgeon. She received a slight bump on her nose from a surfing accident last year and wants to correct it.

Um..while they are at it...can they put her under...for good!

[Page Six]

Namibia is Soooo Right Now!

Britney Spears may be pulling an Angelina Jolie by givinig birth in Namibia, Africa. Brit is currently 6-months pregnant and is due in September.

"Deputy Tourism Minister Leon Jooste confirmed that he received a telephonic enquiry from Spears' office to have her second baby born in Namibia," the Namibian Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) said Friday. A tourism ministry official told AFP: "Our office received an enquiry from the staff of Britney Spears," but did not elaborate

Aren't there enough elephants in that country? Bad joke.

[Yahoo News] [Thx to all who sent]

A Grown Up Hanson

The youngest Hanson, Zac Hanson, married his longtime girlfriend on June 3rd in Atlanta. Zac, age 20, and Kate Tucker,22, are seen here all happy and shit. Damn, he looks so much hotter now. Is he like super religious or something? He has Jesus face.

Being a Wreck at 59

The Rolling Stones are facing another setback. They had to reschedule tons of dates on earlier in their current tour, because Keith Richards' fell out of a tree and had to get brain surgery. Guitarist, Ronnie Wood, has just checked himself into a London rehab facility to battle his booze issues. This will be his second time in two years trying to kick the bad habit.

A rep for the band assures us that the tour will resume as normal on July 11th in Milan.

Why get help now? He's like 99, he's gonna go pretty soon. You might as well go with a little scotch in your belly. Just kidding, you're never too old for help or cheese.

[Page Six]

Biker Shorts?

Blohan at the Armani Exchange & Nylon summer event in NYC on June 15, 2006

Please tell me Lindsay Blohan is not trying to bring back biker shorts. Some things should be kept in their decade. Like afro wigs, hyper-color, and surf pants. Actually, I take that back hyper-color was pretty awesome!

More Like the Most Crazy Star

Forbes Magazine has released their Celebrity 100 Power List and Crazy Cruise tops the chart. The list ranks stars from showbiz and sports according to earnings and media attention. Tom was ranked #10 last year and rose to the top, because of his couch-jumping antics and his $67 million earnings last year alone.

Oprah dropped from #1 to #3 with a staggering $225 million earnings. However, she still wasn't the highest earning bitch on the list. That title went to Steven Spielberg who came in at #6, but brought home $332 million.

Ironically, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston tied for spot #35. Paris Hilton came in at #56 and Nicole Richie at #95.

Falling off the list were Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, Blohan, and Lance Armstrong.

The Top 10 went something like this:

1. Tom Cruise
2. The Rolling Stones
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. U2
5. Tiger Woods
6. Steven Spielberg
7. Howard Stern
8. 50 Cent
9. The cast of The Sopranos
10. The DaVinci Code author Dan Brown

[People]

PETA Pulls One Over on Beyonce

Two people had won an auction on eBay to dine with Beyonce benefiting Vh1's Save the Music Foundation. The dinner took place last night at Nobu. Beyonce's mother Tina and her sister Solange joined her. Little did Beyonce know that the two people who won the auction were from PETA.

Beyonce and Tina use fur in their clothing line.

After they placed their orders, the two PETA bitches pulled out a portable DVD player and showed the Knowles women a video featuring graphic footage of animals being killed for fur. They were quickly escorted out.

Ooooh SNAP! Click here to see video taken from inside the restaurant. It's hot shit, the look on Beyonce's face is amazing.

[TMZ]

Did Brandon Davis Enter Rehab or Not?

InTouch Weekly is reporting that Brandon Davis entered a rehab facility yesterday. However, Page Six is reporting that he has not yet checked himself in.

Brandon comes from a multi-billionaire family and the matriarch of his clan, Barbara Davis, has apparently had some problems getting A-listers to her events because of Brandon's behavior. You may remember that he became pretty infamous for going on and on about Lindsay Lohan on tape, bestowing the nickname "firecrotch" on her. In order to save the family name, his clan has ordered their unemployed relative to check his ass into a clinic to face his drug and booze problems.

InTouch reports he is in rehab now:

After he checked into Passages, Brandon's cell phone was confiscated and a former patient of the center reveals that Brandon was probably searched for drugs before being taken to a private part of the center to detox. He will have no contact with family or friends for at least a week, but Brandon is determined to stick with the program. "I need help," he told a pal. "I can't go on like this."

I hope he loses some weight in there. He's effin disgusting. While he's at it, he needs to have his sweat glands removed. That shit is toxic. His sweat and Parasite Hilton's coochie juices are a major factor in depleting our ozone layer.

[Page Six] [InTouch] [Thx Drakes]

Ruben Studdard is a Winner all Over Again!

Season 2 American Idol winner, Ruben Studdard, has just been awarded $2 Million in a lawsuit. Ruben sued his ex-manager for improperly or basically stealing $246,000 from him.

Jefferson County (Ala.) Circuit Judge Scott Vowell on Thursday awarded the 26-year-old Studdard $500,000 for his actual losses and another $1.5 million in punitive damages in his suit – filed last year – against former manager Ronald W. Edwards and Edwards's promotions company, Sez Inc., the Birmingham News reports.

Ruben had a hard time purchasing a home, because Edwards killed his credit.

He really needs the dough to get gastric bypass, so he can fit in a damn house.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Oscar winner Philip Seymour Hoffman has joined two new projects. Hoffman will first shoot Before the Devil Knows You're Dead for Sidney Lumet. The film is about brothers who try to rob their parents' jewelry store, only to botch the job. Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney, and Marisa Tomei star. Shooting begins next month in New York. In October he will begin shooting Charlie Wilson's War for Mike Nichols. The film stars Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. That film is about a rogue congressman and CIA agent who found the means to secretly arm rebels to fight against invading Soviet troops in Afghanistan in the early 1980s. [Variety]

Sigourney Weaver will star in Vantage Point along with Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, William Hurt, and Forest Whitaker. The story chronicles an assassination attempt on the U.S. president (Hurt) and is told from five points of view, unfolding in 15-minute increments. Shooting starts this Sunday in Mexico City. [THR]

Lucy Liu and Cillian Murphy will star together in the romantic comedy Watching the Detective. Writer-director Paul Soter will helm the project. Soter is best known for Club Dread. Shooting begins July 10th in New York City. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 15th!

SOLD FOR 2 DOLLARS! - Anonymous 2:52pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Elaine Stritch

Birthday Sluts

Joan Van Ark (63)
Diana DeGarmo (19)
John Cho (34)
Clifton Collins Jr. (36)
Arnold Vosloo (44)
Laurie Metcalf (51)
Eileen Atkins (72)

Don't "Quote" Me, Britney

Britney Spears, you drive me crazy! Anybody that missed Brit's stunning interview filled with comedy on Dateline NBC missed the TV event of the year. I laughed, I cried, I threw up, I jacked off....oh it was like a night as Parasite Hilton. Let's just begin with that fucking clump that wouldn't leave her eyelashes! I mean...for a second I thought it was a nasty spider...cause you know that bitch doesn't know how to clean house.

Next, those tits! Her perky, pregnant nipples were begging to be let out of that nasty bra/tank top ensemble. Oh and what about her fucking house?! Tacky, shabby chic is so 1998.



And...let's get to the quotes she kept making....bitch doesn't know how to quote, but she loves to quote. Here's an example:

I think that 90% of the World would agree that the tabloids has gone a little "FAR" with me lately.

I mean...somebody needs to get her to "quote" class ASAP and if there isn't one, her fingers need to be cut off. Because she kept at it...



That's "quote" #2!



And "#3"



Yup, "#4"



And an off-camera "#5"



Who knows how many were edited out to keep us sane. Imagine having a conversation with this bitch and she keeps quoting. Anyway, look at that piece of trash. I mean if it wasn't for the mansion behind them, I would think it was a pregnant hooker and her parol officer strolling through the trailer park.



Dateline also had to remind us how hot Britney used to be. They literally showed us hot Britney at least two hundred times.



Before we get to my favorite moment..let's get to some great Britney quotes:

"I wouldn't be in danger if I didn't have this you know, impactful, thing around me."

on KFed leaving Shar Jackson while she was pregnant:

"Actually, I didn't know...I didn't know until two months later...but I don't blame him because him and his friends tell me...they weren't together when he came to me...they were a part. That happened to Julia Roberts too, but it's more talked about with me. Her husband was married and had kids when they got together." (He didn't have kids)

"I have a maid that comes once a week, but she slacks a little."

"We're country"

Now, let's get to the good part...Matt asked Britney if she wanted the paps to leave her alone....poor Britney cried...and I cried too...



And I cried...and she cried some more...and she said something about being normal people and then I kind of got grossed out...but I kept crying...



And she did too and then I looked at her and got grossed out some more and kind of had a strange craving for a deep fried twinkie...but I cried...



and when she kept crying...I realized she looks cute as an Asian and I kept crying...



Then she wiped her snot and I was back to bitch mode. That's just nasty! Bitch get a fucking kleenex!



But it still breaks my heart...ok not really...



Naw, she's still trash!



This interview will most likely hit youtube any moment now and then we can relive it over and over again. I missed a lot, but your hearts will fill in the blanks. I seriously went away loving her even more. Bitch is just country, mistakes paved roads for cobblestones, loves Goldie Hawn, and wants to hang out with her boo boos and whatever...

I leave you with a great KFed quote:

"I pay for everything out of pocket...everything"

Would You Hit It?

It's James Bond Jr. aka Pierce Brosnan's son, Sean. His face is kind of busted, but I'd still tap that.



[Towleroad]

Hilary Duff Quote of the Day!

"It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume.

"But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in."

Where's Suri?

Mira Sorvino shows off her baby, Johnny and Rachel Weisz shows off her baby Henry Chance...but where the hell is Suri?

That ho does not exist or she is dead! I'm serious, don't you think Tom Cruise would be showing his stuff off all over town by now? If Suri was for real she would be in every magazine, doing talk shows, and probably have her own cabaret show by now. Show me Suri!!!!

Panty Creamer of the Day: Clay Gayken

Clay Gayken at the NHL Stanley Cup Finals in Raleigh, North Carolina on June 14, 2006

Daughter of Britian's Youngest Mother in Danger!

Last month I wrote about Britian's youngest mother. The anonymous girl, I called Crystal, gave birth to a girl at the age of 12. The young mother bragged about how she got pregnant during a drunken and drug induced night of hot sex. The girl continued to smoke and drink during her pregnancy, because she didn't think her baby would be affected.

Well, her baby has been affected. Minutes after she gave birth, the little girl stopped breathing.

Docs snatched the tot from the horrified 12-year-old mother and whisked her away to an incubator.

The newborn has now been moved from St John’s Hospital in Livingston, West Lothian — where she was born at 3am yesterday — to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.

The chain-smoking mum is keeping a vigil by her 6lbs 13oz daughter’s incubator where she is fighting breathing complications. Last night, the baby’s devastated gran, 34, told how the family’s joy turned to terror within moments of the birth.

She sobbed: “It was awful. My daughter was handed the baby and she gasped and said to me, ‘Oh mum’ because she was so proud and excited.

“But suddenly panic broke out because the baby’s lips started going blue.

“We’re just praying she pulls through. My daughter was almost crying when she asked doctors, ‘Just save my baby — tell me she’s not going to die’.

“It broke my heart to hear my little girl talking about her little girl like that.

“The doctors say she might have to stay in the incubator for two weeks.”

This ho and her family doesn't deserve this baby. The mom is just as much as an idiot, because she was proud of her daughter for choosing to have the baby at age 12!!!!

[The Sun] [Thx Suley]

Drug Use Does Affect Your Fashion Sense

Blohan out in NYC on June 15, 2006

Afternoon Crumbs

Chestica shows her assets in Maxim [Egotastic!]

Learn everything you need to know on Carnie Wilson's vag lift [Cityrag]

AIDS is so over [BWE]

Brings new meaning to "my ipod is a piece of shit" [SOW]

Attack of the celebrity babies [Gallery of the Absurd]

Why are they praying? [Popsugar]

Avril Lavigne doesn't like hard labor [Hollywood Rag]

Shiloh is already creating a fashion frenzy [IDLYITW]

Anna Nicole's bump [Popbytes]

A better view of Chance Henry Aronofsky [Just Jared]

Chestica gets her harem together to shoot a video [Glitterati]

Heath's Sorry

Last week, Howard Stern told his radio audience that he was pissed off at Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams for snubbing him at Nobu in NYC after he tried to say hello. He went on to say that Michelle looked like she wanted to eff him. Pure Howard.

Heath has called Howard up and apologized: “Michelle and I were in a very deep conversation about something in our personal life. I was admittedly a little out of it. I apologize if we came off horribly."

What the hell were they in deep conversation about? I didn't know they were capable of one of those.

[Us Weekly]

Britney on Dateline Tonight!

Don't forget that Britney Spears is going to cry about being normal on Dateline NBC tonight. Above is another preview of the interview and Matt Lauer asks her what she thinks about Kevin leaving his pregnant girflriend for Brit.

Don't Hate on Hilary

Hilary Duff walking around NYC on June 9, 2006

What's the first thing you think of when you hear the movie titles: A Cinderella Story, The Perfect Man, Raise Your Voice, and Agent Cody Banks?

A TOILET FULL OF CRAP!?!

Yup, that's what I think of as well. New York Times film critic, Stephen Holden feels the same way. He called Hilary Duff "“talent-challenged" when he reviewed the 2004 masterpiece A Cinderella Story. Hil can hold a grudge, because she's still mad. She told Elle Magazine:

"He doesn'’t really fit the demographic. So I could really care less. Look at me, and look at where he is, sorry!"”

Hil is right. He's jealous that he can't open up an entire six pack of Bud with his teeth.



[Gawker]

The Cristal Boycott

Jay-Z has taken hip-hop's most popular juice off the menu at his 40/40 club in NYC. He leads the way in boycotting Cristal both personally and professionally after the makers of the champagne turned their noses up at the hip-hop community.

He said: "It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud views the 'hip-hop' culture as 'unwelcome attention'.

"I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products through any of my various brands including The 40/40 Club nor in my personal life."

Cristal boss, Frederic Rouzaud responded: "I'm sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business…"

Is that dude insane?!!! If Diddy follows suit, Cristal should just shut their doors.

[MTV Uk]

Hoopz Arrested!

Hoopz who?! You may remember her from that show I was completely obsessed with called Flavor of Love. She actually won Flav's heart, but they didn't last. Hoopz has been trying to stretch out her 15-minutes recently by showing up to any event.

Hoopz was arrested at her Dearborn, Michigan home on Tuesday for assaulting a police officer. The po-po were called after they received a noise complaint from Nichole Alexander's (Hoopz) neighbors.

Hoopz blames her neighbors for harassing her and blamed the police for overreacting after she voiced her complaints.

She said: "He walked up, took the door, opened the door back up. Grabbed me by me neck and I just remember flying down these steps. While I’m falling, I gripped on to him and we fall. Now we wrestling and two more cop guys come and jump on me."

Yeah yeah, just bring on season 2 of FOL already. Word on the street is that the show will premiere this August. Taping has already wrapped!

[AllHipHop] [Pic: FOLBlog] [Thx Stacy]

This Hooker is Not Welcome in NYC!

The air in Manhattan is just about to get a lot skankier. Paris Hilton is reportedly looking to move to the Big Apple. The biggest slut in the world is seriously considering buying a 4-bedroom, 6.5-bath condo at Trump Park Avenue. The 4,5000 square foot pad is directly below Yankees player Alex Rodriguez's apartment.

Below a man with a pulse? That's exactly where this tramp likes to be.

Paris went out the other night in NYC wearing only her slip. Don't tell me that's a dress. You know she's not wearing panties, so she probably has like 8 rolls of duct tape keeping her bagina from hitting the floor.





[NY Post]

Madge's Next Victim

Blohan at Da Silvano in NYC on June 13, 2006

Britney Spears kicked Kabbalah to the curb and instead created a new religion called SPF. In order to fill the void left by Brit, Madge has set her sights on another naive girl. Lindsay Blohan and Madge are said to have become friends ever since Blohan showed interest in Madge's ball and chain. According to sources, Madge has told Blohan she would be interested in various projects with her.

Madge has flirted with the idea of singing a duet with her as well as possibly starring in a film together. The two have also talked about visiting the Holy Land together.

Does Kabbalah accept cokehead whores into their group? I guess if the money is right.






[The Scoop]

Posh Beckham Goes to Dinner in German

She ordered ice water, a Diet Coke and a bowl of lemons. I'm into that outfit though, hooker-chic.

Jacko is Scum

Michael Jackson put together a group of singers and musicians for the 9/11 charity single What More Can I Give. The unreleased track apparently was not made to support any charity, but to support Jacko himself. Even though everyone waived their fees, the rights to the song still belongs to him. So everytime the song is sold or played, he makes money off of it.

Jacko learned that charity singles were a cash cow when he released the mega-hit We are the World. The 1984 song is registered to Jacko, Lionel Richie and his ex-wife, Brenda. Everytime that song is played Jacko makes 50% and the Richie's split the other half.

A reporter for Fox News said this: "He understands the value of copyrights and that his public eccentricities - pajamas, umbrellas, sunglasses, top hats, children in masks, etc., going right back to hyperbaric chambers and the Elephant Man's bones - are all part of a well-choreographed game to keep the public interested in his fading celebrity."

[Page Six]

Kate Moss Won't Go to Jail

It seems like ages ago that Kate Moss was caught on camera snorting lines of cocaine in a London sound studio. It was only last year. Britian's Crown Prosecution Service ran an investigation on the pictures and footage and threatened to prosecute Kate. She spent some time in an Arizona rehab facility and vowed to stay clean.

Kate won't be facing drug charges after all of that.

The CPS issued this statement:

"The film footage provides an absolutely clear indication that Ms. Moss was using controlled drugs and providing them to others."

"However, in the absence of any forensic evidence, or direct eyewitness evidence about the substance in question, its precise nature could not be established. Ms. Moss declined to provide any explanation when interviewed, and the direct eyewitnesses also declined to provide evidence."

Is this surprising at all? Duh!

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Steven Spielberg and Paramount Pictures plan to develop a film about a group of space explorers who travel through a worm hole into another dimension. The project, in a nascent stage, is anchored in real science. It was derived from a treatment by Kip S. Thorne, a Caltech physicist who's an expert on relativity. Thorne is most famous for his controversial theory that wormholes not only exist but can be accessed and used as portals for time travel. The project is expected to take several years to develop. Spielberg's next project will either be Indiana Jones 4 or an Abraham Lincoln biopic starring Liam Neeson. [Variety]

Jessica Alba will join Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck. Cook plays a serial dater who gets a reputation that any woman dating him will rebound into meeting her soulmate. When the man meets his true love, he must find a way to end the streak and keep her. Alba will play that woman. Shooting begins next month. [Variety]

Brad Pitt's Plan B production company has beaten Leonardo DiCaprio's production company in a bidding war for the movie rights to the zombie, horror novel World War Z. The story tackles the zombie genre but is set 10 years after a great global zombie epidemic. It's described as a serious oral history of the future zombie told from many perspectives from around the world. The book is due out this Fall. [THR]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 14th!

A young Angelina Jolie demontrates how she will one day grab men's balls and skin them alive. - Warren

Runner-up:

Michael Jackson can say she's a doctor, but I don't believe him! - Sher


[Thx Michael]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Parker Posey

Birthday Sluts

Neil Patrick Harris (33)
Billy Martin (25)
Mary Carey (26)
Scott Long (27)
Jake Busey (35)
Bif Naked (35)
Leah Remini (36)
Ice Cube (37)
Courtney Cox (42)
Helen Hunt (43)
Julie Hagerty (51)
James Belushi (52)

Madonna's "Get Together" Video

Get Together is the 3rd single off of Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor and this is the video for it. The video was made using footage from a concert performance of the song, because Madge is currently on tour and not able to shoot a video. Lazy hag!

I actually like it. It's kind of old school Madonna and is something different. It's better than her last tired videos. I'm into it. I can't believe I just said that. I'm gonna go wash my mouth out with soap now.

[Thx Youri]

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Blohan must be snorting something to put this look together. It's like an intergalactic hooker.

George Bush Can't See Blind People

George Bush gave a press conference this morning and tried to be funny about a reporter wearing shades. He asked Peter Wallstein if he was going to ask his question with sunglasses on. Dumbass didn't realize that Peter is legally blind! Doh! Dumb bitch needs to stop trying to be funny, because that's another thing he's not good at.

[BWE]

Nicole Kidman is NOT Pregnant, Right?

Jesus!!!! I'm so over celebrity babies! These women are getting knocked up one after the other! I can't keep track. Babies are taking over Hollywood.

According to Star Magazine, Nicole Kidman is sporting a little baby bump while arriving at a yoga studio in Tennessee.

A witness said: "Nicole was going to yoga around 5 p.m., and her tummy was really hanging out and pushing her pants down. She looked like she had gained some weight in her belly area and in her breasts. It wouldn't be a stretch to say she looked like a woman in the early stages of pregnancy."

Nic and Keith Urban are due to get married later this month in Sydney. I can't take another baby, I really can't. Please abort it Nicole, for my sake!

If you ask me, she doesn't look pregnant. She just has a little bit of a muffin top, so what?!

Ashanti Pregnant!?!

According to friends close to Askanky, she's four months pregnant! The father is not known, but some insiders are claiming it may be Nelly's baby. The two have been dating for the past off and on for the past three years and Nelly may pop the question now that his chick is expecting.

But another source thinks that the baby may belong to Irv Gotti. Gotti is the married head of Ashanti's record label and the two are said to have hooked up earlier this year.

Reps for the singer declined to comment.

Scandal! Ewww, I hope Ashanti's baby doesn't have stretch marks for days like she does. Seriously, her thighs are made of stretch marks.

[Media Take Out] [Thx Straight Outta NYC]

It's Jaclyn Smith!

Has she been pulled a part a little? Jaclyn Smith does look a little hot while attending the What A Pair event last Sunday night. She's still not so bad, but she's one pull away from looking like Vivica A. Freak.

Fruit Salad is the New Bitch

Pat Field was doing the costume design for The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing which stars Alec Baldwin. She quit and blamed Alec for causing chaos on the set.

She said: "“I don'’t want to be spending my time on negativity. Working is not a problem. I have a lot of work, thank God. Life is short. You want to enjoy each day."

Alec responded by calling Pat "a fruit salad" and "a wack-job 24/7".

I love that Alec called her that. I think that we should start calling people "fruit salad" instead of motherfucker and bitch.

[Us Weekly] [Thx Azia]

Afternoon Crumbs

I Wanna hold your leg [TMZ]

TomKat fakes their way to the top [BWE]

Condi Rice is hotter than Jennifer Aniston [Hollywood Tuna]

I think she just really wants to get naked [IDLYITW]

Tiger Woods is back [Gabsmash]

Asshole Simpson loves her small ta-tas [Egotastic!]

Elisha Cuthbert does double duty [Junk Feud]

Don't worry Marc Jacobs, boy toys are a dime a dozen [A Socialite's Life]

Is this Hilary Swank's new man? [Just Jared]

DJ AM and Richie back again? [Hollywood Rag]

Leo DiCaprio is getting thick [OMG Blog]

Whitney Needs Jesus!

Whitney Houston was spotted at the West Angeles Church in Los Angeles recently. Hopefully, Jesus or God or whoever will save her from crack. I'm totally feeling the outfit. A pink suit and white hat complete the "crack-head-on-the-road-to-recovery-with-the-help-of-JC" look!

P.S. - The woman in the red needs help too.







[YBF]

Porn Fight!

It's a slow Wednesday so I present to you a clip from the reality show Family Business on Showtime. The show takes a behind-the-scenes look at the porn industry in Los Angeles.

The clip above shows two whores getting into some argument over clothes. The next thing you know the brunette bitch serves blondie a beat-down sandwich.

Porn whores fighting is awesome!

UPDATE - Click here for an uncut version of the fight which shows a little boobage and the blonde girl telling the brunette that she's going to sue her ass!

[Thx Youri]

The Bee Whisperer!

Nicolette Sheridan had to shoot a scene last season on Desperate Housewives which involved her running into a bee hive and getting stung by hundreds of bees. She found herself unable to control the huge swarm of bees, so she called in some help.

She said: "I had my assistant call the holistic bee whisperer. "I guess he very politely asked these bees to leave. When I came back, there wasn't one dead body on the ground. They were gone."

That's crazy talk! Her assistant just probably called one of his friends to pretend to be some bee whisperer and snow Nicolette for hundreds of dollars!

[Contact Music]

There's Nothing Wrong with Booze

Jewel used to be a clean-living girl, but now she's into boozing it up and makes no apologies about it.

She said: "I grew up singing for alcoholics, and it never really seemed like alcohol fixed anything. I was afraid that it would get me. Around 30, I kind of realized that alcohol really does solve all your problems. Whoever said drinking doesn't help lied. You live and you learn."

Damn! I don't know about that, but it does help you forget shit. Hopefully, her new found friend will make her write better music.

[Page Six]

Is People Magazine on Crack?!?

Was People Magazine doings lines with Blohan when they compiled their list of the hottest bachelors?

Judge for yourself:

Taylor Hicks - SICK!!!
Nick Lachey - USED!!!
Jake Gyllenhaal - GAY!!!
Donald Faison - EH!
Camila Villegas - WHO?!!!
Ace Young - WHAT?!!!!
Bobby Deen - WHO?!!
Jon Tenney - SNATCHER'S LEFTOVER?!
Kenney Chesney - WOMAN!
Matthew McConagay - OK! I CONCUR!
Chris Evans - OK! YES, I CONCUR!
Archie Kao - I CAN FEEL IT!
Ryan Seacrest - HEH?! WHAT?! WHO? GAY! SICK!

Seacrest?! That's like putting Gayken on the list. If they were doing a list on the hottest bachelorettes maybe. Jesus!

Visit People to see pictures of these fools!

Dumb Bitches!

Paris Hilton is apparently extremely upset at Lindsay Blohan for dating her ex, Nachos. This past Monday night at Butter in NYC, Paris screamed at Blohan in front of everyone. She said:
"I can't believe you and Stavros! You are ridiculous!"

Blohan responded with: "That's how you say hello? I don't need to respond to you."

Blohan's rep confirms the fight, but said Blo took the "high" road. Which means she went to the bathroom and did rails for days.

Apparently, once Blohan left Paris gave lapdances to a bunch of New York Knicks and a bunch of New York Giants.

In Paris talk, "giving a lapdance" means giving them head, taking it in the ass, doing a dp, getting donkey punched, receiving a dirty sanchez, running a train and doing ass to ass with one of her friends.



[Page Six] [Thx Infobitch]

Diarrhea and Thongs

Britney Spears is a "normal person" and a good mom and don't let anybody tell you otherwise! Most recently Brit made a trip to Victoria's Secret in Mission Viejo, CA with SPF and clan. Brit was in the store to pick out some thongs to wear for well...to wear for herself. You know her man doesn't wanna see that.

Anyway, SPF took a big dump and Britney couldn't wait to get home. According to sources, Britney changed his diaper right on the cash register's table in front of everyone. She then tried to hand the dirty diaper to the cashier who politely declined.


[Lowdown] [Thx Marie]

Keanu's a Little Puffy

Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock have reunited from the film The Lake House and attended last night's premiere in Los Angeles. Don't ask me about The Lake House, cause the whole premise of that movie makes no sense to me? It's seriously confusing and I don't have the brain cells to deal with it.

Back to more important things, isn't Keanu looking a little beat down? He looks like he's detoxing, cause bitch is puffy and not hot anymore. Sandra is too boring to even comment on.

David Gest Wants Me to Dip His Dick in Chocolate!

Liza Minelli's super-creepy ex-husband, David Gest, is facing allegations from a male assistant. The assistant, Charles Breyer, began working for David in 2005 at his Tennessee home. Almost immediately David began making obscene sexual statements to him like: "You have a small dick, I bet,' [and] grabbing my butt."

David made Charles use the computer in the master bathroom. Sick!

This next part made me bust-out laughing. David wrote in Charles' calendar such things as:

"Shake my penis, make sure it feels good," wash it "in hot water" and "dip it in chocolate fudge."

Hey, that kind of delicious, sugary talk would certainly turn me on or make me want a powdered donut really bad.

Of course, Charles is suing for $300k! Hey, what's a little sexual harassment from a nasty dude without a lawsuit.

David's lawyers call the claims completely false and absurd.

I'm over this, but strangely I am craving a chocolate covered banana.

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Dianne Houston (Take the Lead) will write a biopic on the life of rapper Missy Elliot for Universal Pictures. Robert De Niro has hopped on board as a producer. Born in Portsmouth, VA, in 1971, Elliott began her musical career with the girl group Sista. She then segued to a producing career before breaking out as a solo artist more than 10 years ago. [Variety]

Henry Rollins will star in the sequel Wrong Turn 2. Rollins plays a host and producer of his own reality TV show titled "The Ultimate Survivalist," which features six contestants who will be thrown together for six days in a simulated post-apocalyptic wasteland. Located in a remote part of West Virginia, the contestants discover that they really are in a fight for survival against a family of hideously deformed, inbred cannibals. [THR]

Director Dennis Dugan (Big Daddy) will reunite with Adam Sandler on I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The film will star Sandler and Kevin James (Hitch, The King of Queens) as two straight firefighters who pose as a gay married couple in order to qualify for their department's domestic partner benefits. Written by Alexander Payne and James Taylor, the movie is scheduled to hit theaters on July 20, 2007. Shooting will begin this August in Los Angeles. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 13th!

Whenever Andy Dick sees Giant Sperm, he gets carried away. - Lock Jaw Prico

Runner-up:


The were the Blue Man Group until they got a hold of some bad Dick. - Loozer

Hot Slut of the Day!

Boy George

Birthday Sluts

Marla Gibbs (75)
Boy George (45)
Steffi Graf (37)
Yasmine Bleeth (38)
Donald Trump (60)

Jordan's American TV Debut!

OMG, I'm so proud! Jordan just made her American TV debut on that piece of shit E! show The Daily 10. Unfortunately, she was interviewed by that shit-for-brains, Debbie Matenopolous. She talked about her tits, spotted dick and conquering America! Viva Jordan. I kind of missed Harvey though.

Jordan's episode is tonight at 7:30pm on E! and repeats again tonight at 12:30am!

Say Something Nice

I dare you...and about Britney not Matt!

[Pic: Just Jared]

Britney's Looking Hotter These Days

I know! Poor Britney, I need to leave her alone. I'll leave her alone when she stops looking like she's in line to ask for more government milk so she can make some generic Mac N' Cheese for her baby.

Looks like KFed got a new pal and this new friend makes him so gangsta! I hope that dog goes ballistic and gnaws the hell out of him.




[x17]

Shirley Phelps Needs a Major Beat Down!

Shirley Phelps is the leader of some crazy church that spends their free time picketing at soldier's funeral. They have caused controversy because they carry gorgeous and really professional signs that say "God Loves AIDS" and dumb shit like that. Bitch seriously got struck by lightning and had all her brain cells blown away. Here she is on Fox news with the lovely Julie Banderas. Julie loses her shit and goes after Shirley! I've never heard the word "missy" used this many times!

The thing is Shirley needs the gays bad, because bitch needs a makeover!

Do you think she would officiate my gay wedding?

He's Been a Dad for Like 5 Minutes!

Bradley Pitt was named Dad of the Year in a new poll for Life + Style magazine in honor of Father's Day. Brad has been a dad for like a week or something and is already winning awards and shit. Angelina's the real father in that duo. She should've won. Here's how everyone else ranked:

1. BRAD PITT
2. HEATH LEDGER
3. RYAN PHILLIPPE
4. BEN AFFLECK
5. WILL SMITH
6. MATTHEW BRODERICK
7. CHRIS MARTIN
8. GUY RITCHIE
9. DAVID ARQUETTE
10. DEAN CAIN.

And where's Rosie O'Donnell?! She's an amazing father. She like organized a cruise or some shit for her kids!

[ONTD]

Who Ever Said She Couldn't Even Get Arrested in Hollywood?

Daryl Hannah was arrested while protesting about some garden or something in South Central, Los Angeles. Bitch is a loon. Daryl was campaigning with others to save a 14-acre fruit and veggie garden in the neighborhood. When she was arrested for trespassers, Darryl was in a walnut tree. She's been living in the tree for the past 3 weeks and refused to move.

"I'm very confident this is the morally right thing to do, to take a principled stand in solidarity with the farmers. I'm planning on holding my position."

Um, she was probably living in the tree cause she can't afford rent!

[People]

Jenna Elfman is CRAZY

Indie film director John Roecker was walking to his car in Los Feliz while wearing a shirt with the slogan "Scientology is Gay" when a shirtless dude and Jenna Elfman approached him. The shirtless dude was Jenna's husband and he told John that he was making fun of his religion. It's then that Jenna went ape-shit!

According to Roecker, whose encounter was first reported on LA's KROQ-FM's Kevin and Bean Show, the invective started to fly after he made several references to Scientology theology and its reported central tenant, the story of Xenu.

Roecker says Jenna repeatedly said "What crimes have you committed?" and began screaming at Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?" as motorists on Los Feliz Boulevard drove by in snarled traffic.

Roecker says it appears that Bodhi Elfman prepared to take a swing at him, but thought against it.

Bizarrely, Roecker also says that the Elfmans had a young, twenty-something male companion with them whom they continually instructed to move away and cover his ears whenever references to Xenu were made.

Holy shit! Jenna Elfman is nuts! Scientology honestly turns your brains into mush. I shouldn't be saying this, because those bitches are powerful and will eff me up. I was thinking of becoming a Scientologist just because with all the guys in there, I'd probably get a lot of dick!



[TMZ]

Afternoon Crumbs

Screech is HUNG ten inches?!!!!!! [Cityrag]

Charlie Sheen's new girlfriend is probably an actress [BWE]

Why didn't Paris sing on Letterman? [Hollywood Rag]

A little Wentworth [Just Jared]

Eva LongWHORIA should get her jaw wired shut [Egotastic!]

Brittany Murphy likes her milk and cookies [Hollywood Tuna]

Johnny Depp's designer imposter [IDLYITW]

Kate Beckinsale in marriage trouble [A Socialite's Life]

Jack Black pops a baby out [CBB]

It's Kingston James McGregor Rossdale!!!

NO FUN! I got another damned attorney letter!

I represent Getty Images who has authorized me to act on its behalf for copyright infringement notification.

Infringement of six (6) Getty Images photographs of performers Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale with their child (the “Photograph”) has been detected on the Web site http://dlisted.blogspot.com. The infringing photograph appears on the Web site as follows:

http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/06/its-kingston-james-mcgregor-rossdale.html

This letter is an official notification under the provisions of Section 512(c) of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act to effect removal of the detected infringement. I hereby request that you IMMEDIATELY issue a cancel message, as specified in RFC 1036, for the specified posting and prevent the infringer, who is identified by its Web address, from posting the infringing passwords to your servers in the future. Please be advised that by law, as a service provider, you must “expeditiously remove or disable access to” the infringing passwords upon receiving this notice. Noncompliance may result in a loss of the possibility of immunity under the DMCA.

I have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted materials described above on the allegedly infringing web pages is not authorized by the copyright owner,
its agent, or the law. The information provided herein is accurate to the
best of my knowledge. I hereby swear under penalty of perjury that I am authorized to act on behalf of Getty Images for matters pertaining to notification of infringement of its exclusive rights in its copyrighted material.

You are hereby put on notice that the photograph must be removed from http://dlisted.blogspot.com immediately. Please confirm by email or telephone that you have complied with your obligations under the Act by removing the photograph from http://dlisted.blogspot.com.

Damn these lawyers! It was fun while it lasted and I'm sure you can find the pictures, they are everywhere!

Hooker Mills is Divorcing and Suing

Heather Mill McCartney is indeed divorcing Paul McCartney. The "D" word was never mentioned, but now it's going to happen. This could be, because of the soft-porn pictures that surfaced on The Sun featuring Heather when she had two legs getting absolutely sexy with a dude in the 80s.

Heather is also fighting mad about a different story by The News of the World which published on Sunday. The rag insists Heather used to be a hooker in her 20s. She wasn't like a street tramp, she was high priced! She also got into some kinky shit with very wealthy men. She apparently made up to $8k a night. Damn! I'm in the wrong business, although I could probably only fetch $8 a night.

Her lawyer said: "Heather is very distressed by this article. She will defer issue of legal proceedings until the arrangements in relation to the divorce are concluded but intends to sue at that stage all parties (including individuals) who are intent on damaging her reputation."

Hahaha...I bet you she could make so much more money now that she's only got one leg. Some crazy-rich dude would probably get off on fucking her stump!

[AP]

This is Her Meal for the Week

Nicole Richie at Jamba Juice

Blame Yourself!

Jennifer Aniston is a straight-up smoker, but she's been trying to give it up for months now. The biggest problem is Vince Vaughn. Vince is also a major smoker and has no intention of quitting. So you can see her dilemma.

A source said: "Jen has been in trouble with her doctor because she went to him for help in giving up and she hasn't.

"Every time she tries, there would be Vince puffing away. He's not helping in the least and when she tells him off about it, he laughs."

Jen thinks that if she gets knocked up, Vince and her will quit the puffing.

I bet she's one of those smokers that smell like ash and Irish Spring. You know the type, ugh that combination is foul.

[Female First]

She's Got Stick Legs

Posh Beckham showed off her hot skinny legs while leaving her hotel with Cruz. Yeah, her legs are skinny but still hot. I can't hate. Cruz is really white.

Tori Wants Her Money Back

Designer Randolph Duke had created a wedding dress for Tori Spelling for her Fiji wedding in May to Dean McDermott. Tori had given him a deposit of $4,700, but she never wore the dress because she thought it was "cheesy." She now is demanding her dough back. She decided to wear a Dolce & Gabbana frock instead. Randolph is not gonna give it up.

He said: "I've never designed a dress for free. She won't get her money back."

Who is Tori Spelling to call a dress "cheesy." That's like Paris Hilton calling someone a slut. If anything, Randolph probably tried to make her look better by designing a lace bag to wear over her mug.

[Post Chronicle]

Britney Doesn't Need That Fake Hag!

Madonna and Britney Spears created a friendship a few years ago and Madge was said to be teaching Brit the ways of the Kabbalah. Very recently, Britney announced that she's no longer studying the Kabbalah and her baby is her religion.

Madge is said to be over Britney, because she failed to convert her.

A source said: "Madonna spent months teaching Britney the Kabbalah system and splashed out thousands on the ancient scripture for her."

"She feels she has wasted time, money and precious gifts on Brit."

Well, at least they will always have that beautiful first kiss.

[The Scoop]

Toni Just Wants Attention

Phoney Braxton flashed her panties again at a performance for The World Cup. Get another dress, damnit! This is the second time and now it just makes me think that her cooter is so overheated that she constantly needs to give it oxygen.

Jacko the Faker

Michael Jackson was arrested in November 2003 by the Santa Barbara Police Department on child molestation charges which he was later acquitted of. Jacko later accused the police of roughing his ass up and showed bruises where he said his handcuffs were on way too tight. In 2004 after a complete investigation, it was proved that Jacko was not treated wrongly.

The four photos above were taken 8 days after his arrest at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Lake Las Vegas, NV.

In the pictures, he’s wearing a Ritz-Carlton robe. But what the sequence of photos also shows is that he, according to sources, self-inflicted a wound on his arm and caused a rapidly rising welt to form.

The pictures literally show the welt growing on Jackson’s arm “almost as if by magic.” They also show it turning not black and blue, but a kind of amber color. My sources say this discoloration was caused by makeup. The pictures were taken within a few minutes of each other.

“If you look closely at his cheek,” says my source, “you can see the blush on it is the same color as the bruise on the arm.”

Indeed, the coloring on the bruise in one picture is so artfully composed that it resembles a lipstick stain left by a pair of large lips.

Even weirder, in one picture shown here, of Jackson looking directly at the camera, it’s quite easy to see the tape holding his nose in place. Jackson isn’t wearing his typical whiteface makeup either. It may be one of the few photos that show Michael Jackson exactly as he is, warts and all.

Jackson, according to my sources, knew he was in trouble after the arrest in November 2003 —not so much with the police but with the public. My sources insist that he called his inner circle together and said, “We have to push the ‘red’ button.”

His idea was to create sympathy for himself by inventing a race war of some kind.

“He wanted it to be like O.J., a black vs. white issue,” says my source. “He wanted the black community to burn down police stations, riot and protest if they [the police and authorities] went against him.”

Did Blanket Jackson do the make-up? It's awful! You can tell it's fake from a mile away, shit. And I didn't know he was in the Kabbalah. What's even more creepy is that little child's hand on the bruise.





[FoxNews] [Thx MomtheMumsie]

Claire Danes & Orlando Bloom?!

I cannot keep track of who young Hollywood chooses to neck with. I thought Orlando Bloom was hittin' Kate Bosworth and I also thought Claire Danes stole Billy Crudup from Mary-Louise Parker and was still with him. Well, all this could still be the case...but the other night at a party in England Orlando was seen slathering his tongue all over Claire's neck.

A source said: "He was kissing her neck and grinding against her," reports our snitch. "He didn't seem to care who saw it."

Sick, she's like gravy.

[Page Six]

This Doesn't Look Half Bad!

The first real Dreamgirls commercial played during this past Sunday's Tonys broadcast. It's not due until Christmas 2006, but it actually doesn't look that awful. It looks pretty good!



Director: Bill Condon (Gods & Monsters)
Starring: Beyonce Knowles, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Anika Noni Rose, Danny Glover & John Lithgow

Due: December 25, 2006

The Dlisted Report

Tim Burton was set to direct Ripley's Believe It or Not next, but Paramount has postponed that project so Burton has turned his attention toward Dreamworks' Sweeney Todd starring Johnny Depp. The Stephen Sondheim musical about the demon barber of Fleet Street is currently on Broadway. [Variety]

The Weinstein Company is reportedly in talks with Rob Marshall (Chicago) to direct a remake of the musical Gypsy for the big-screen with Catherine Zeta-Jones to star as Mama Rose. The classic musical is based on the memoirs of the famous stripper Gypsy-Rose Lee and her demanding stage mother, Rose. [Coming Soon]

Rapper and sometime actor, Eminem is in talks to star in a feature adapation of the series Have Fun - Will Travel. Debuting in September 1957, the TV Western starred Richard Boone as Paladin, a gunfighter-for-hire. The story will be updated with Eminem as a bounty hunter and possibly set in Detroit. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 12th!!

Oh shit y'all, Brit-brit done killed the manny! - Blue Roll

Runner-ups:

That's probably the best ensemble I've seen on Chloe Sevigny. - Lock Jaw Prico

when she closes her legs, they both wake up. - Tim

[Thx Lori]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Pat Boone

Birthday Sluts

Chris Evans (25)
Ashley Olsen (20)
Mary-Kate Olsen (20)
Ethan Embry (28)
Steve-O (32)
Ally Sheedy (44)
Tim Allen (53)
Stellan Skarsgard (55)

Say Something Nice

Jada Pinkett Smith: She's not looking that manly. She kinda look like Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model and that's a compliment. Ok, maybe not.

Mel Gibson is Hurting Britney's Feelings

Mel Gibson lives in the same gated community in Malibu, CA as Britney Spears. He lives next door to her and has put his mansion on the market for $18 Million. Why? Mel is apparently sick of living next door to her ass.

A source said: "People are always hanging around outside the gates and he is worried his kids might get hurt."

Mel has already bought a home in Santa Monica.

He's a bore! He is probably moving, because he used to jack off to her from the other side of the fence. But now that she's fat and pregnant, he needs new ass to yank to.

[PR Inside]

The Wrong Bitch

This is hilarious footage from last week's Mrs. World 2006 by FourFour. Basically, it's Alan Thicke announcing Mrs. Russia as the winner and Mrs. Costa Rica as the runner-up, however some strange angel from the sky and some other dumb bitch crown Mrs. Costa Rica! Chaos ensues!!!! Foreign whores everywhere are pissed! The tears, the sequins, the mascara! They should make a fucking TV movie out of this!

Mrs. Russia is way too poised for this shit. If it was me, I would've went over to that Latin whore and pulled that crown off her head and kicked her in the bagina!

[FourFour]

Denise Richards is a Lying, Homerwecking, Whore!

Denise Richards is flapping her slut-mouth and setting things straight on betraying her friend, Heather Locklear by hooking up with her estranged husband.

She said: "The thing with Heather, that's been hard. You know you can't help who you fall for and that friendship, unfortunately, was done and wasn't salvageable."

She insists she wasn't looking for a relationship when she started dating Richie Sambora.

"We didn't meddle in marriages and anything like that."

Please, she straight-up stole that did her friend wrong! Heather needs to pull an Amy Fisher on her ass!

[People]

Asshole Simpson is on a Mission!

Look at this bullshit from July's Marie Claire magazine:

She's had it with Hollywood's twisted view of feminine beauty. Her goal: to get women to appreciate their diverse shapes and sizes. Along with a group of teens, Simpson sends the kind of messages we all want to hear.

What message is that? Get a nose job, extensions, chin implant and whatever it takes in order to look like your big-whore-of-a-sister?

Don't They Make a Beautiful Pair?

Love is blind according to Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni.

A Crack Head or a Leprechaun?!

This is a hilarious news report I saw on Web Junk 20 which focuses on a neighborhood in Alabama that swears they see a leprechaun in a tree! The amateur sketch is absolutely hilarious and one woman's explanation on what she thinks the leprechaun is, is truly classic!

Afternoon Crumbs

Dlisted goes legit this week with mentions in Vanity Fair, The Chicago Tribune and The New York Times. It's like trailer trash going to the Ritz!

Henry Rollins blasts Ann Cunter [BWE]

David Spade has a super-sexy-hot-fine bod [Cityrag]

Jessica Biel's pair [Egotastic!]

Colin Farrell has finally found love for a week [IDLYITW]

Jenna Jameson is really wholesome looking [Hollywood Rag]

Paris Hilton is Toonces [cat.lebrity]

Jello parties among the commoners [Popsugar]

Bradley Pitt gives thanks [Just Jared]

Introducing Kingston James [x17]

Nicole Richie shows off her bikinis, but is too fat to wear them [Drunken Stepfather]

Jared Leto Will Hit Any Ass

Say it ain't so! Jared Leto is honestly the biggest man-whore in the World. He's been linked to Blohan, Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears and Ashley Olsen. He's now apparently hitting the ass that belongs to Chestica Simpson. The pair met up at a L.A. night club where they showed their love for each other openly. A source said:

"“Jessica was having a great time. She was dancing and seemed to really be enjoying herself. They were draped all over each other. And it'’s not like they were trying to hide it,– a lot of people inside the lounge saw them openly flirting, and couldn'’t believe their eyes."

"They looked like they were having a lot of fun together. But they didn'’t kiss, that was at least one thing they kept out of public!"”

Sick! His penis has to be full of firecrotch and warts! His semen probably comes out like cement. Yeah he's fine, but I'm not about to drool over him.

Okay on the real, I'd hit it. I'd get herpes or like some jungle disease, but I'd hit it.

[National Ledger] [Thx Stacy]

CRRRRYYYYIINNNNGGG!!!

I'm on Britney overload today! Here's a quick preview of her interview with Matt Lauer on Dateline NBC this Thursday. It kind of breaks my heart, a little. But then I remember that she's super loaded. Yes, she's a person...but a trashy and stupid one. Fame is a bitch!

Paris Hilton Has a Black Heart!

Two years ago, Parasite Hilton made a visit to the Australian charity Paradise Kids. The charity aids seriously ill children to help them get medical attention and other things they need. In 2004 while filming House of Wax she lied to the poor children and told them she was going to hold a star-studded charity event in Los Angeles with all proceeds going to them. She said:

"I'll get a few friends together. I know the Backstreet Boys will help out for sure and I talked to Blu Cantrell last night. I definitely want to do this. My grandmother died of cancer and I almost lost my cousin to leukemia. It's just something very important to me."

To date, Paris has not contacted the charity again or held any such benefit.

A charity official said: "The promise hasn't amounted to anything – nothing, not a penny. We really needed the funds."

I thought I was an ice-cold bitch, but not even I can lie to sick kids! It doesn't surprise me though, this dumb twat is only out for herself. She'll get hers in the end! Well, she's probably getting it in the END right now, but you know what I mean.

[News.com.au]

Secret Lovers

That's Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Phillipe chasing each other around a track in Los Angeles. Ryan's the top and Jake is the bottom and this is a sort of role-playing game they do to keep their relationship alive. Seriously, they want each other so bad.

Happy Birthday L.A. Reid!

L.A. Reid held his 50th Birthday party in NYC and the stars showed up! Including Janet Jackson, her troll and a face that could kill millions. Seriously, what has she done to her face lately?! She's getting skinnier by the second and her face is paying the price. Ho needs some fat injected into her mug. Ewww, I can't look anymore!



Yes...I'm going to say it. Mimi looks hot! This is the kind of garb she should be rocking. She looks super-duper fine and needs to cover those thighs more often!





OPRAH?! Again?! Damn! Don't you have a World to run and middle-aged housewives to oversee?



Beyonce is blah!



Avril/Ashlee/Jessica was there to bring some honkiness to the atmosphere.



NOW BEWARE! This is a one, two, three punch of absolute hags in bad wigs!

JANICE COMBS: Obviously her son isn't giving her any dough to purchase a wig that costs more than $10!



STAR JONES!!! Cover up that damn tit-scar! It's absolutely horrifying. However, it does draw distraction away from her joker-like grin.



CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!!!! Keep Serena Williams back in the tranny jail! If a tranny jail did exsist she needs to be kept there!

Lewis Has Some Competition!

Meet Jack, a bad-ass mofo that nobody should mess with. The 15-pound white and orange tabby keeps a close watch on his West Milford, NJ property. When a black bear entered his domain, Jack went crazy and hissed at the bear causing him to run up a tree. Damn! This bitch is for real! The bear stayed up there for a while while Jack continued to threaten him. The bear then descended the tree, but had to keep on a runnin' when Jack came back and chased him up a second tree!!!

Jack's owner said: "We used to joke, 'Jack's on duty,' never knowing he'd go after a bear,"

Fortunately, the bear ran into the woods unharmed. Jack surely hates hos in his yard.

I say we put Lewis and Jack in a cardboard box and see which pussy comes out alive!

[AP] [Thx 2pink]

Did You Feel the Earth Shake?!

Brangelina and clan have landed back in the US! After months in Namibia, they are back in Malibu to create a paparazzi frenzy. Angie, Brad, Zahara, Shiloh and Maddox are said to have arrived late Friday night. The days leading up to their arrival were filled with excitement as their staff prepared for them to arrive.

Brad is due to begin work on Ocean's 13 later this month in Los Angeles.

Here's some blurry pics of the nanny with Zahara and Maddox at their home in Malibu. Expect tons of pics soon, because unfortunately now that they are back here..they can't escape the photogs! Ahahahah!!!!





[Thx Bellastar]

The Return of KFed!

What's this?! Britney, SPF and KFed were actually photographed together! It's been a few weeks since this has happened. Just yesterday, someone emailed me that KFed was living with friends in her apartment building. Maybe he's just visiting SPF. He looks like he's straight-up been sleeping on the street. I can smell the stench of Coors, Reds and Tunafish from here.

I'd still hit it though, damn I need therapy.




[TMZ]

It's Melissa Joan Hart Time!

Why is it that I love Melissa Joan Hart so much?! Bitch doesn't give a damn. I'm not sure who's a bigger piece of trash, Britney or MJH?! I'm stumped. MJ has been to a lot of events lately, probably for the free grub. You know she takes home like 4 bags full of food and plastic utensils and shit. She's that family member that comes to your house to basically grocery shop.

She's seen here at a Disney event yesterday.

Her baby is the cuteness though.

Britney is a Good Mom

Make sure you set your Tivos for this Thursday at 9pm for Matt Lauer's interview with Britney Spears on Dateline NBC. Britney talks about motherhood, the paparazzi and about how fat she is. Ok, not the last part. She's pregnant folks, give her a break!

In the interview at her home, Lauer asks Spears why she is speaking out now and she explains that the tabloids have gone too far by intruding on her private moments and taking photographs of her on private property. “They’ve crossed the line a little bit,” says Spears, “...they like to have the person they pick on, I feel like I’m a target.”

Despite the tabloids reports of trouble on the home front, Spears shares with Lauer that her marriage with Kevin Federline is “awesome,” and that the reports of Kevin living in the basement are false. She talks about why she loves him, and reveals to Lauer, “He helps me. He has to. I’m (an) emotional wreck right now.” When asked if she feels people are rooting against her marriage, Spears says she doesn’t know, “If they are that’s sad. I think everybody should be ‘pro love.’ “

I sort of feel sorry for her, but not really. She can't help that she's white trash, but at the same time she has enough money to pay for people to take care of her baby properly. OMG, I just took a second look at her. She is beyond trashy, she makes Tonya Harding look like effin Princess Di!



[MSNBC]

I Thought They Already Had Their Kid?

I'm confused...I thought Matt Damon and Luciana Bozan already had their kid? Maybe I reported it already, but it's completely forgettable. Anyway, they had their brat. The pair welcomed a baby girl, Isabella, into the world yesterday. She came in at 7lbs and 7oz. This is their first child.

The couple married this past December in NYC.

Isabella? Finally, a normal name for a celeb kid. Although, these two are too boring to come up with anything original.

[People]

The Tony Awards: Theater People Can't Dress

Last night was the very boring Tony Awards on CBS. I actually watched the whole thing, but had to shoot myself up with speed to stay awake. One thing is for certain, theater people don't get free clothes and purchase off the rack!



Alan Cumming is such a whore for attention. I can't even comment on this hideous outfit. It's like gay rodeo meets John Travolta. I can't say a bad thing about Cyndi Lauper! Ok, her outfit is fug.



Broadway star Christine Ebersole like many, couldn't afford an outfit so borrowed hers from The Beauty and the Beast costume closet.





Save Cynthia Nixon! That bear is gonna eat her!



Julia Roberts is too good to walk the red carpet, but actually was the best dressed. She cleans up nice. And is Miss Tony black from the neck up and white from the neck down?



Who is that man-toy with Julianne Marguiles? If he's a Broadway actor, he's gay Jules. Sorry.



Jamie Lynn Who? and Cynthia Nixon (Did you see her smooching on her lady-man when she won? She should get an award for hitting that every night.)



Marcia Gay Harden and Julie Andrews



Don't say anything bad about Bernadette Peters! This woman looks amazing for 57! She's perfect in my book.





Why does Oprah have to ruin EVERY event. Stay in TV bitch!



No words...If I showed up to any event and was Alfre Woodward and Gayle King was wearing the exact same thing as me...I'd run across the street to Banana Republic and buy anything just to not look anything like that hag!



Harry Connick is no longer hot. It's true, he's the man struggling with the boy.



Bebe Neuwirth & Kyra Sedgwick



More Tony photos throughout the day!

The Dlisted Report

Channing Tatum (Havoc) will join Ryan Phillipe in Kimberly Peirce's (Boys Don't Cry) Stop Loss. The Iraq war drama tells the story of a soldier (Phillippe) who finishes a tour of duty in Iraq only to be told that he has to serve another so he goes AWOL. Tatum plays a hot-shot fighter from Texas. [Variety]

Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Perez and John Leguizamo have joined the indie-drama The Take. The story follows hard-working, middle class family man Felix Delgado (Leguizamo) who works for Dunbar Security, an armored transport company, and finds himself in the middle of a carefully orchestrated heist. Shooting begins in Los Angeles next month [Production Weekly]

Cars was the #1 movie this weekend debuting with $62.8 Million. The Break-Up dropped to #2 with just over $20 Million. X-Men 3 came in at #3 with $15.5 Million. The Omen debuted at #4 with $15.4 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 9th!

Gramps likes how her poo-hole tightens right back up - Morticia

Hot Slut of the Day!

Christine Ebersole

Birthday Sluts

Adriana Lima (25)
DJ Qualls (28)
Jason Mewes (32)
Finesse Mitchell (34)
Frances O'Connor (39)
Jim Nabros (76)
Richard M. Sherman (78)

E.T. Phone Home

Victoria Beckham is like part alien and part pig. WTF is wrong with her? She used to be the most gorgeous woman in the world and now she looks like an extra on a Twilight Zone episode. Here's our favorite pig-alien-woman at the England VS Paraguay game during The World Cup.

Hot Sluts of the Week: Kath & Kim

Ages: 39 & 40
Birthdays: June 7, 1967 & February 20, 1966
Birth Names: Jane Turner plays Kath (right) & Gina Riley plays Kim (left)

Original Date of Hot Sluts of the Day: June 8, 2006
Claim to Fame: They are the stars of the hottest Australian show of all time "Kath & Kim". If you haven't seen it, you must! In the states their shit plays on the Sundance channel.

Where are they now? Still doing their hot show and specials!

Why are they Hot Sluts of the Week? I never really watch scripted television, but I can spend hours watching their show! I am addicted to it and all of you will love it.

She's No Dita Von Teese!

Denise Richards certainly out-whored herself by performing at the One-year anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge in Las Vegas. She's trying desperately to perform in a champagne glass, but she looks like she's taking a dump in it. Anybody who drinks outta that is gonna get a delicious chocolate martini! She plays that hooker role a little too well, she totally used to be a Heidi girl.

Look Familiar?

Above is Janet Jackson's cover from about 2 weeks ago and below is Mimi's cover that is on newsstands now. Apparently, the picture of Mimi is 5 years old and they photoshopped some abs in. Oh Mimi!



[Saving Face]

Baby Who?

In case you care or you're over THE MESSIAH, here's some shitty-ass pictures of Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky's baby boy, Henry Chance. Where's their $4.1 Million deal?

Boring Aniston & Fat Vaughn

These two were at the French Open and no they aren't dating. They just happened to be there at the same time and decided to share a beer. But NO they are not dating. Ugh, they make me wanna have a BM.

Did Morrissey Get With Michael Stipe?

First of all, who would hit Michael Stipe? That's just disgusting. Anyway, even if he did get with that I'm sure Morrissey wouldn't admit it. When asked about the rumors that he hit that, he responded quite angrily: "That's absolute [bleep], absolute [bleep], and I don't know why people ever said that. Do you?"

Like I said, even if I did hit that I'd answer it exactly the same way.

He also won't answer the gay rumors. He was asked whether he was gay, straight or bi-sexual:

"It's neither of those things. I'm simply myself, which is inexcusable to many people. I'm not trapped by anything."

He's a fag.

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lena Horne

Birthday Sluts

Gene Wilder (73)
Shia LaBeouf (20)
Joshua Jackson (28)
Matt McGrath (37)
Peter Dinklage (37)
Hugh Laurie (47)
Joe Montana (50)
Adrienne Barbeau (61)