This Ho Works Fast!

Is Denise Richards engaged? According to her left ring finger she is. She arrived at LAX sporting a rock on her wedding band sparking rumors that she's promised to Richie Sambora. Denise is currently involved in an ugly divorce with Charlie Sheen. Richie is also in the process of getting divorced to Heather Locklear. Denise was returning from France where she joined Richie and Bon Jovi on tour.

Sources close to the couple claim she isn't engaged.

Wouldn't that be hot if that was Heather's ring she was wearing. Oh damn, I pray it is. Let the catfight begin!

[TMZ]

Valley of the Dlisters

This is what I'm talking about! Why wasn't I in Los Angeles last night at The Renberg Theater for an All-Star reading of Valley of the Dolls. When I say all-star, I mean people who haven't worked this century. I mean if Donna Mills was there, you know the was major wattage. Poor thing, look at that shitty-ass wig. I think a ball of yellow yarn would've looked more believable.



Robert Gant from Queer as Folk was also there! He's hot shit and I still can't get over Donna's tragic wig.



OMG Melissa Joan Hart?! This is an All-Star cast! You know it's the bottom of the barrel just by their outfits. She's had this in her closet from Drive Me Crazy. Red vinyl?! I mean...poor thing needs a gift card to Forever 21, so she can get some new threads.



Mindy FUCKING Cohn! Yes, Nat from Facts of Life. You can't get any bigger than this?! Lindsay Lohan who?



The list goes on and on...Mackenzie Phillips! Not a cute pose for a woman of her age.



The cast also included a few extras from CSI, one of the Kraft service people on Desperate Housewives and a stagehand from The Beauty and the Beast touring company. Seriously, the stars were shining so bright last night at The Renberg Theater you had to wear your blue blockers!

Tobey Maguire is Pregnant!

Not having a baby in Hollywood is like a crime, so Tobey Maguire and his lady, Jennifer Meyer, apparently decided to enter the IN crowd The two started dating in 2003 and became engaged in April. Jennifer is a jewelry designer and the daughter of Ron Meyer, a Universal Studios executive.

A source said: "The big question for them now is do they get married now, before the baby is born, or do they wait so Jennifer can fit into the wedding dress of her dreams!"

I think that baby will be more boring that Violet Affleck and that's pretty boring.

And by the by...I've totally lost track of how many chicks are knocked up in Hollyweird.

[Star Magazine]

Kristin Cavallari's New Bongo Ads

Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari is starring in new ads for Bongo. Basically, these were drawn. They straight-up look like cartoons. Why bother even having her pose?

Isn't She Getting a Little Old for This?

Remember when Toni Braxton performed on the American Idol finale and she basically tried to be a sex kitten first and a singer second? While performing with Il Divo at the Adidas World of Football in Berlin her dress caught the wind and blew up revealing her panties. At least she was wearing panties right? She does have a hot body, but that whole "sex kitten" look isn't cute on her. She needs to return to the voice! And wear better panties if you're going to let that happen. Straight up granny panties in the front!

Vivica Fox Confirmed for Dancing with the Stars

Vivica Fox has confirmed that she will compete in Dancing with the Stars 3 this September.

She said: "I'm doing Dancing with the Stars. I'm so excited. I start training for that in July. It's a wonderful opportunity for me to get paid, get in shape, work some outfits and represent for the sistas. Drop it like it's hot!"

Training for Vivica means visiting her plastic surgeon daily.

[People]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lindsay Wagner

Birthday Sluts

Shane West (28)
Tara Lipinski (24)
LeeLee Sobieski (24)
Hoku (25)
Faith Evans (33)
Elizabeth Hurley (41)
Tony Ward (43)
Gina Gershon (44)
Kim Deal (45)

Christina Aguilera Quote of the Day!

" I give money to a company who makes hearing aids. More people should hear me sing."

[Thx Albz]

Haylie Duff Who?

I know I'm so over Parasite Hilton! But here's a kind of funny radio interview she had with Jackie and Bender in Seattle. At one point during the interview they ask her about that whole rivalry she had with Haylie Duff over the song Screwed. Paris answers "Who's that?" Dumb whore, she knows who that horse face is! Paris really thinks she's making important music and is doing something with her life. She also think she's a good role model to young girls. Yeah, young girls that wanna be hookers when they grow up.

Listen to this shit!

[Thx Caitlin]

Is Linda Evangelista Knocked Up?

Linda Evangelista is my favorite model of all time. Bitch is true perfection, but she needed to rethink this ensemble. I don't think she's fat, but she's working the chunk in this gold wreck at the 160th Anniversary of Loewe.

Hot Slut of the Month: Harvey

Harvey scored almost 50% of your votes to become Dlisted's Hot Slut of May! Jordan's own is very proud and will see you in the finals next year! Maya Rudolph was his closest competitor with only 19%. Thanks to all who voted!

O Jessica!

Why?! Why?! Why?!

Jessica Lange at last night's 17th Annual Human Rights Watch International Film Festival.

Again...Why?! Why?! Why?!

Afternoon Crumbs

Someone needs to hit this bitch with their car [TMZ]

Ann Curry has hot moves [Gawker]

Weird Al is back [BWE]

Ashton Kutcher's nasty-ass beard [Cityrag]

Who is Katherine Heigl and why do we care about her sex tape? [Egotastic!]

Brittany Murphy has a stupid wink [Hollywood Tuna]

Asshole Simpson's new music video [Just Jared]

The Aniston loves to cry [IDLYITW]

Halle's man is so fucking fine he makes me wanna commit a crime [Popsugar]

Mimi hates to be wet [Hollywood Rag]

I know he's not hittin' all those hos [Drunken Stepfather]

Is This a Lady Dude?

Young Hilary Duff is turning into a straight-up MAN! What happened to her?! She used to be semi-cute, I don't understand. Did she get cheek implants or just severely skinny in the face? Hilary is seen here at an Ocean Magazine event celebrating trannies New York City. At least Hilary can always count on Haylie to be the fugly one.

The 13 Memorably Unpopular Characters from Popular TV

The A.V. Club has named some of the most unpopular characters from TV. I pretty much agree with their choices, but Scrappy Doo as #1?! I loved me some Scrappy...I loved him more than Scooby! Probably cause I could relate to him. The rest of the list includes Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch, Dawn from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Steve Urkel from Family Matters and so on and so forth. Click here to see the rest of the list!

[Thx Stacy]

Is Nicole Richie Hittin' Paris' Leftovers?

Socialslut, Paris Hilton, dated pro-skateboarder Chad Muska in 2004. I'm not sure how long they "dated" but no doubt she got freaky with him. Probably two seconds are meeting him. Well, Chad was seen out with Nicole Richie recently. I hope they are just friends. If Nicole hits that, she's no doubt going to walk away with a wart-ridden cooch. Seriously, I wouldn't even shake hands with any piece that Paris hit...although I probably have because ho has slept with everyone!



[ONTD]

Tom Wants Angelina

Upon hearing the news that Angelina Jolie gave birth to Shiloh Nouvel, Tom Cruise immediately placed a call to Africa to congratulate Brad Pitt and Angie on their new baby. Apparently, during their conversation he invited Angie and Brad to visit the Scientology center in Beverly Hills once they settle into their Malibu pad.

A source said: "Even though they've know tom for years, Cruise was the last person Brad and Angelina expected a call from," "Tom's got babies on the brain. He's still euphoric over the birth of his new girl Suri. He got so caught up in the excitement ... he made the call,"

Tom tried seducing Angie more by offering her an Award by the Scientology Center to honor all her charity work. Angie apparently turned it down.

This is one of those "yeah right" stories, but I could see it happening. Tom is nuts enough to completely think that Angelina would be remotely interested in his crazy ways!

[Post Chronicle]

James Woods' Trophy

James Woods' has a new piece and she's 20-years-old! She's not even of legal drinking age! The 59-year-old actor showed off his new trophy at the Entourage season premiere party in Los Angeles.

Poor girl is probably just off the bus and thinks that James is going to make her a huge star. The only film making she's going to be making is the one that involves a tripod and a mouthful of saggy dong!



[Smart]

Demure, Mysterious & Sexy

It's Bai Ling all cleaned up and looking like a lady at the 2nd Annual Turks and Caicos Film Festival on Wednesday night. She looks positively radiant and gorgeous. The wig even looks half real! This is why I love Bai, she can clean up or she can trash it up...she's versatile like that or maybe her medication finally kicked in.

Shiloh is Mute

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie appeared on Namibian TV to talk about something that isn't talked about enough, the birth of the Messiah. During the interview, Angie talked the most while Brad stayed silent. He knows his place. When Angie finally let him talk, he said:

"They have been so gracious to us and made our stay here very special and because of that we have had an incredible time with our family, exploring the country. And we had truly peaceful birth of our daughter. And for that we are eternally grateful, and we will certainly be back."

The pair are said to be coming back to the States this weekend. Their Los Angeles home has been buzzing with activity in preparation for the Royal family's return to us peons.

Please watch the video, because Angie won't shut her trout lips!

Watch it!

[TMZ]

Celebs Love Free Diamonds!

Last night's Celebrate Love event at the Cartier Mansion in NYC drew tons of celebrities looking to wear borrowed Cartier. Janet Jackson showed off her new body yet again, but she still has those sick Ramen curls and her face is a wittle busted. Veiny foreheads are the work of the devil. Where was her troll?





Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek are both equally hot. Seriously, Salma's chee-chees are much more appealing than Scarlett Johansson's.



David Bowie went dark and long!



Chloe Sevigny is wearing the hottest dress of the evening, but still looks like an Eastern European tranny hooker!



Ok, Scarlett is hot....I get it!





Oh My Little Pony! What would I do without you? Note to MLP: The severe bun makes you look even more like you need a saddle and some sugar cubes! It ain't cute, but love the borrowed necklace!

Blohan is Right!

I can practically see the coke residue in her nose! Damnit, ho is high! I don't care what you say. She's doing something. Anyway, she showed up to last night's Celebrate Love event at the Cartier Mansion in NYC. More like celebrate bling and coke. I must say that I love the dress, but not on her ass. Charlize Theron would've worked this shit in an Alexis Carrington sort of way.

Someone needs to get Blohan to rehab, because ho is high.

Gray Lo!

At several events last month, JLo showed up rocking her gray roots. Everyone cried "photoshop" but I knew that her ass likes to keep it real. She has confirmed that yup she has gray hair and so what? I mean she is 36.

She said: "I"’ve had gray hair since I was 19 years old. I just got lazy."

More importantly, does the carpet match the drapes?

[Us Weekly]

Has-Been Couple Alert!

I love it when has-beens find love in each other! Jim Carrey (who is borderline has-been) and Jenny McCarthy (who is full has-been) are now a couple. How annoying would they be together? Just the laughing alone would be enough to send me to the crazy house.

Rumors have been circulating for months that the two have been dating and they are finally going public with it. As if anybody cares?

According to friends of the couple they are extremely happy and blah blah blah blah blah....

[People]

Kelly Osbourne Takes Liz Hurley's Job!

Liz Hurley was the host of UK's Project Runway which they call Project Catwalk, but her ass has been kicked back to the gutter. Producers felt that Liz was too wooden and boring, so they have replaced her with Kelly Osbourne for Season two.

Kelly said this about joining the reality show: "The chance to do a show that features two of my favourite loves, TV and fashion is a dream come true. What more could a girl want?"

Hmm...Kelly is an odd decision, but whatever.

[Reality Blurred]

The Dlisted Report

Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don't Cry) has been searching for her leading man for months. She has finally found him in Ryan Phillipe. Phillipe is in advanced talks to star in Stop-Loss. The film, which centers on a soldier (Phillippe) who returns home to Texas and is called to duty again in Iraq through the military's "stop-loss" procedure. The soldier then refuses to return to battle. Production may begin as early as this Summer. [THR]

17-year-old Long Island native, Nicole Blonsky, has landed the lead role as Tracy Turnblad in the Hairspray feature film. She beat out thousands of hopefuls. This is Blonsky's professional debut. She joins Queen Latifah, John Travolta and Amanda Bynes. Brittany Snow is in talks to play Amber. Shooting begins soon in Toronto and Baltimore. [Variety]

Uma Thurman will star in In Bloom. The thriller revolves about a woman whose idyllic life crumbles when she survives a shooting spree at a school. Vadim Perelman (The House of Sand and Fog) will direct. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 8th!

The first pictures of brangelina's new baby, direct from Nambia. - weapons of mass destruction

Runner-up:

Vin Diesel takes the role of Pamela Ewing in Dallas, the movie - Vanessa


[Thx Pamela]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Al Gore

Birthday Sluts

Johnny Depp (43)
Freddie Highmore (14)
Natalie Portman (25)
Gloria Reuben (42)
Michael J. Fox (45)
Aaron Sorkin (45)

Which Bitch's Eyes are Wonkier?

Lisa Gastineau and Snatchers

[Photo: Goldenfiddle]

It's the MTV Movie Awards!

Let's all talk shit on those dumb hos at The MTV Movie Awards tonight. This is an open post for y'all to talk about who looks like hell and who is sucking who or whatever else you want. Keep it sexy.

Beyonce Quote of the Day!

on how she lost weight for Dreamgirls:

"I tried to do it TOM HANKS style. I had to drop it fast."

Are 30 Seconds to Mars Any Good?

Has anybody listened to Jared Leto's band 30 Seconds to Mars? Are they even good. I guess I don't have any desire to listen to his shit. To me they look like cast members from a Lifetime movie about rock stars. Jared is so not rock n' roll. Here they are at fuse's Daily Download yesterday. I'd still hit Jared.

Marcia Cross is Perfection!

Ok, she's had a little help from botox...but she's still a gorgeous specimen. She needs to cool it though or she's gonna end up like her Desperate Twats co-star, Teri Snatcher. This is from that Crystal & Lucy Awards on Tuesday night.

The Bell Was Even Scared of Her Mug!

Spike Lee and My Little Pony Parker rang NASDAQ's opening bell in NYC this morning to announce Cartier's "Declare Your Love" day.

This is an odd couple. I bet you when they rang the bell, MLP galloped out of that building like a fine stallion heading home for supper!

Woman Gets a Beat Down with a Dead Chihuahua

A Missouri woman stormed into the home of a breeder whom she purchased a puppy from. The 33-year-old woman's 4-week chihuahua grew very ill and when she took it to the vet, he told her it had to be returned to its mother. Before she could do so, the puppy died. The woman went on a fucking rampage and went to the woman she bought the puppy from yesterday morning to beat her ass!

Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.

This woman means business. She's like Foxy Brown. I'm all for beating down a woman that sold you a sick puppy, but don't beat her ass with the dead puppy! That's sad! Poor little thing. That shit is hilarious though.

[CNN] [Thx Albz]

He's the Bodyguard Not the Manny!

Britney Spear's new man-toy is not SPF's new manny, he's her new bodyguard. How very Whitney Houston of her. Perry Taylor is a 28-year-old U.S. Naval Academy graduate who seems to be a natural at looking after her son Sean Preston.

The onetime bar bouncer and ski instructor "was a nice, quiet guy with lots of friends," says a source who knew him back at the Academy, where he also played lacrosse. "He never seemed like the kind of guy who'd be lugging diaper bags around for Britney Spears."

Taylor certainly does do his share of heavy lifting around the Spears household: He's been photographed carrying the 9-month-old Sean Preston and pushing his stroller, as well as picking up groceries and bouquets of flowers.

But a source close to the pregnant pop star insists, "He's not her nanny." Then why is he holding the baby? "He's protecting Britney and he's protecting the child." An officer and a gentleman.

This is so romantic! Don't make me close one more door, I don't want to hurt anymore!
KFed obviously doesn't give a shit about her, because how you gonna let your wife be taken care of by someone that looks like that?

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Yes, we know Scarlett has nice ones already [A Socialite's Life]

Celebrities and their weed [Cityrag]

A little Wentworth [Just Jared]

This is the lingerie bowl [Hollywood Tuna]

Dolphins want to screw Jessica Alba [IDLYITW]

Janet Jackson's wonky breasts [Egotastic!]

Piven VS. Dorff, part II [Hollywood Rag]

Shiloh Nouvel's first scandal [Gallery of the Absurd]

Nick and Jessica's countdown to divorce [Popsugar]

Britney's on her way to skinny [OMG Blog]

Death Never Looked So Hot

I don't know what it is about Michelle Rodriguez, but she totally does it for me. She has a face like a pitbull, but damn she's kinda hot. I'm probably strangely attracted to her, because she will bend me over a dirty barrell and give it to me hard. Bitch is rough like that. Here she is at some lesbian beach in some lesbian city probably.

Blueballs Madonna is Not Hot

Geri Haliwell has put her daughter, Blueballs Madonna, on display for all the World to see in some magazine. The picture above is the creepiest. These are like low-rent versions of the Messiah Jolie-Pitt photospread. Shame on Geri for parading her daughter around like that, especially since she looks like a prune. Now before you write me on how I shouldn't make fun of kids, calm down. BM doesn't give a shit about my stupid ass. If she knew the language of "fuck off" she'd give it to me good. She's like not even one years old and she's already so much richer and skinnier than me.

The Poster Child of Fug

Asshole Simpson is currently on tour and these pics are from her Los Angeles stop on The Love Tour which she be called The Barf Tour. There's been a lot of debate on whether Ass looks hotter now and I say she could do every single plastic surgery procedure on her nasty self and she'd still look like week-old dog shit!

Speaking of dog shit, there are still technical difficulties with Blogger today. They are apparently having shit crash on their end and all that. It's taking years to post and the pictures keeping messing up. Thanks for your patience. I know Messiah Jolie-Pitt has something to do with this!

The Return of Right Said Fred!

The Germans have signed has-beens, Right Said "I'm Too Sexy" Fred, to open up the Word Cup tonight at a huge ceremony. They could've had anybody they wanted, but they decided on these two no-talents!

It turns out that muscular brothers RICHARD and FRED FAIRBRASS are absolutely massive in Germany.

So big, in fact, they’ll be the only Brit act flying the flag of St George at tonight’s huge concert to mark the start of World Cup 2006.

It says a lot about our European cousins’ musical taste.

Richard and Fred will take to a stage at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin alongside PINK and some German acts for the gala opening in front of 160,000 fans.

The boys will also be playing at a series of FIFA concerts over the next few weeks in cities which are hosting the tournament’s games.

I managed to track Richard down yesterday and he explained: “People think we disappeared back in the early Nineties. But we signed a deal in Germany and had two top ten albums there.

“I think the British public got a bit sick of us. They found it hard to believe we could do anything other than lip sync to Deeply Dippy. We were both having domestic problems too which we wanted to sort out in private, away from the scrutiny of the British media. So it suited us to go abroad.

“And contrary to popular opinion we weren’t able to retire after our hits Deeply Dippy and I’m Too Sexy — we had to keep working.”

I was wondring whatever happened to them. Every so often my iPod will play "I'm Too Sexy" and I'll think back to the days of surf pants and spandex biker shorts. Yeah they were the shit, but some things need to be kept tucked away.

[The Sun]

Like a Broken Record

Pete Doherty is trying that thing called rehab again. Petey was arrested last week in Spain for using heroin on a flight to Barcelona, but was released. Instead of spending time in the clink, he has set himself up in a rehab center in Portugal. He is expected to be in there to detox for a couple of weeks and then he will have an opiate-suppressing implant inserted.

Do they have a procedure where they can just drain all your blood out and put new shit in? Bitch needs that or perhaps he should just be cast in Survivor. That honestly would make brilliant TV, although he'd probably find a way to make heroin out of coconuts.

[Gigwise]

TomKat's Still Alive and Kicking!

With all this Brangelina news, I haven't paid much attention to the original crazies. TomKat are still alive and well. Suri is probably still being built and that's why we haven't seen her yet.

Anyway, the couple's prenup has already been hammered out and Katie Holmes will stand to make up to $33 Million. When their marriage ends Katie will make $3 Million for every year they are married. On their 11th year of marriage, the contract becomes null and void due to California's community property law and Katie will get half of everything. This is why his marriage to Nicole ended right before their 10-year mark.

According to sources Katie had decided not to marry Tom, but if she doesn't she won't see a dime. So she's going through with it. The source said: "“If she walks now, Tom will fight her for custody of [daughter Suri], and Katie can'’t outlast him in court. She knows she needs to marry him to get the money to fight him for custody, if it comes to that."

Sick! Katie has seriously made a pact with the devil. Bitch won't have much of a career, so she has no choice but to sit tight with that nutjob and count the days!

[MSNBC]

Paris Hilton Doesn't Care About Anyone!

Paris Hilton has pissed off the residents of a Los Angeles apartment complex where her latest eff-buddy, Matt Leinart, lives. According to residents Paris repeatedly has parked her car in a spot reserved for the disabled.

Her spokeswhore had this say: "I find the reports surprising."

I could actually help her out by making her disabled so she doesn't park there illegally anymore. Actually, this bitch is disabled in the brains already.

[LSE]

An Average Day for Hugh Jackman

He's totally farting out the jizz!

[Thx GossipMomma]

More Pics of the Messiah!

Here's more photos of the royal family for Italian Vanity Fair. Where the hell is Maddox? Oh hells naw, I'm pissed! He should've gotten photo approval. Zahara looks like a model though, she looks hot. Ugh, I'm so sick of them...but yet I can't turn away. Damn them!









[Steph]

Money Hungry Bitch!

Madge has been confirmed as the new saggy vagina for Swedish clothing store H&M. The deal has been rumored for weeks and is now official.

H&M said: "We are extremely proud that Madonna wants to be in partnership with H and M."

In addition to posing for ads which will hit in August, Madge's cast and crew of her current World tour must wear t-shirts with the slogan "Madonna plus crew loves H and M" which will also be sold in stores.

H&M refuses to discuss how much the Material Girl is being paid.

I'm all for a ho making money. The thing that really gets me is that Madge goes on and preaches about how she doesn't need material things and all she needs is her children and love. Bitch is a liar, she also needs some diamond bracelets and fancy satin panties for her rusty ass snatch!

[AP]

Don't Eff with Wintour

Lindsay Blohan really pissed off the ice-queen herself, Anna Wintour, at the CFDA Fashion Awards the other night in NYC. Blohan was seated at Wintour's table and really got Anna's goat, because she got up 6 times in two hours to "powder" her nose. A witness heard Anna whisper to a staffer: "Tell her, if she gets up one more time, she will never be invited to one of my events again." Blohan was a guest of Karl Lagerfeld and Anna said to him: "Karl, this is your guest, control her!"

Hot! Yes, Anna Wintour is a stone cold bitch, but I love her for it.

Anna's rep said: "Anna was definitely surprised at how busy Lindsay was, but she offered no threat."

[Page Six]

The Messiah Has a Face!

That baby's got some big lips! Like mother like daughter, I guess. That baby is shady though. Look at her winking at us! She's about to take us out. I kind of wish she grows up fugly.

Angelina is looking at Brad like "Take a good look, because we're gonna leave your pretty boy ass real soon."

Visit JustJared to see tons of pics!





[Steph]

The Dlisted Report

New Line Cinema has purchased the remake rights to the Japanese cult-classic Battle Royale. The original film, produced by Toie and released in 2000 amid concerns about its violence, is set in an apocalyptic future in which schools are overrun by uncontrolled violence; the government responds by organizing an annual Battle Royale, in which a school class is picked at random and students are pitted against each other on an abandoned island in a game of survival. New Line has already set the project up with producers. [Variety]

Twentieth Century Fox has signed a deal with 24 creators Robert Cochran and Joel Surnow to begin working on a feature film version of the show which stars Kiefer Sutherland. Sutherland is expected to executive producer and star in the film. [Variety]

Director Sean Penn has cast William Hurt and Marcia Gay Harden in Into the Wind. Based on Jon Krakauer's non-fiction book, the story centers on Christopher McCandless, who graduated from college in 1992, abandoned his possessions and hitchhiked to Alaska to live in the wilderness and return to nature. He died four months later in an abandoned bus at a remote campsite. Vince Vaughn and Catherine Keener are already signed. Emile Hirsch (Girl Next Door) plays the lead. [THR]

The CAPTION THIS Contest for WINNER June 7th!!

Ring of firecrotches - Anonymous

Runner-up:

Paula Abdul really shouldn't choreograph cheerleaders when she's drunk. - mpcmike

Hot Sluts of the Day!

Kath & Kim

Birthday Sluts

Nancy Sinatra (66)
Kanye West (29)
Julianna Marguiles (40)
Keenan Ivory Wayans (48)
Sonia Braga (56)
Kathy Baker (56)
Joan Rivers (73)
Jerry Stiller (77)
Barbara Bush (81)

I Can't Believe He's Still Around!

It's time to crown a new I Can't Believe It's Not Butter man! A nationwide vote took place to crown the new Fabio from three soap star studs. Greg Vaughan from General Hospital, Ricky Paull Goldin from The Guiding Light and Jason Cook from Days of Our Lives were the three finalists. Greg Vaughan won the contest and is now the new Fabio. Wow, how lucky of him.

Poor Fabio, he's like a beat down character version of himself. Ok, maybe I'd hit it.

How Much Money Did The Omen Make?

The remake of The Omen opened yesterday and earned:

$12,633,666

They totally made that up, right?

[Box Office Mojo]

How I Wish This Was True!!!

They seriously need to go on Maury!

[Tabloid Whore]

Ann Coulter Quote of the Day!

on the 9/11 widows:

"I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much."

Vintage Celine Dion

Afternoon Crumbs

Naomi Campbell wants a baby, someone tie her fucking tubes now [Crunk + Disorderly]

Everything you need to know about Perry Taylor [Popbytes]

Kiki's weave is to' up [Drunken Stepfather]

James Blunt needs a mystic [Just Jared]

Was Christina Milian dropped from her label? [Concrete Loop]

Blohan is that close to showing her firecrotch [Egotastic!]

KFed demands your kindness [BWE]

Chestica Simpson's new wig [Gabsmash]

Speaking of Chestica, what in Ken Paves is she wearing? [Hollywood Rag]

Ivana Trump is a dirty whore for wanting Paris to play her [Glitterati]

Video of Brangelina meeting the press [TMZ]

The King & Queen of Namibia Talk to the Press

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt held a press conference this morning in Namibia to thank the government for giving them a safe place to give birth.

Brad said: "We have been able to have a very special, peaceful time for our family here, exploring your country and more importantly helping with the delivery of our daughter Shiloh. So for that we are eternally grateful."

They have also denied they are getting married and wish to focus on their children.

"There is nothing in the air. The focus is the kids, and we are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together. So that kind of says it for us, and to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing."

I'm bored! Wake me up when they hold a press conference to tell us they are finally going to drop off the face of the earth.

[TMZ]

What is the Purpose of this Dress?

Charlotte Church showed up to the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in the UK to accept her award for Solo Artist of the Year. Whoever picked that frock out for her needs to walk the plank. The awards show was not a costume party, so I'm not sure why she chose to don this thing. She usually likes to stick her tits out, but this time I guess she wanted to look like a little girl's birthday cake. I mean even Sharon Osbourne looks hotter and sexier than her.

Come on Char, whip those things out! They are your bread n' butter!

Damien Born on 6/6/06

A baby was born on June 6, 2006 in Bristol, England. The newborn boy was named Damien by horror movie fan, Suzanne Cooper. Suzanne was rushed to the hospital on May 31st after suffering back pains. Doctors decided to induce labor immediately. Damien refused to come out, but finally did 6 days later on June 6th. He was born shortly after 6am and weighed in at 6lbs and 6ounces. I'm not making this up!

Suzanne said this about Damien: "We are overjoyed about the baby. The Omen is one of our favourite films and that's why I was keeping my legs crossed for a birth on the 6th.

"It does seem a bit weird I suppose, but he's a perfect baby - nothing at all like Damien in The Omen."

Screw Messiah Jolie-Pitt, this baby is truly scary! Mark my words, he's gonna get all of us. This is serious shit! He's going to join forces with Messiah and Suri Cruise and destroy humanity.

[The Mirror] VIA [Media Take Out]

The Morsel Diet

Mimi has invented her own diet in order to keep the pounds off her figure. Mimi claimed she lost the weight from only eating fish and soup, but now she's allowed herself to eat more in moderation.

She said: "I kind of invented it. Basically you can have a tiny bit of everything you want. When I'm really, really hungry I'll be like 'I need a morsel!' So they'll give just me whatever is there (on the plate), but it has to be less than a forkful."

She doesn't tell us that her fork is actually 7 inches wide and 10 inches long.

Here's the delusional one with that poor Jack arriving at Radio City Music Hall last Tuesday. Looks like her nips have come out to play. Again! Where does she buy that shit?! Dress Barn doesn't even carry trashy merchandise like this!

[Post Chronicle]

Brangelina is Pissed!

Yesterday, pictures of Shiloh Nouvel Pitt-Jolie were all over the internet like Paris Hilton on the Dallas Cowboys. Even yours truly posted the pic and immediately received a letter from Time that if I didn't remove the picture they'd see my ass in court. When I didn't respond, Getty went after my ass and then Time again. Since, I'm a pussy I gave in. Gawker, my hero, did not. They are fighting fire with fire which totally turns me on.

The Hello! Magazine cover first appeared on Defamer, ONTD and JustJared before lawyers stopped the fun.

Sluts for Hello! Magazine said: "We are sending out legal 'Cease and Desist' letters to each of these sites."

"It is very difficult to control the Web and this proves how rampantly out of control it is. We have absolutely no idea how the picture was leaked."

They are just pissed, because they think the value of their pictures could go down. The pictures could make them about $10 Million. They paid $4.1 Million for them. Hello! and People will hit newsstands this Friday with pics of the the little Messiah.

If you still haven't seen the picture which is nothing to make a fuss over, click here.

[ABC News]

Someone Needs a Cookie!

What a grouch! Nicole Richie sprayed water all over the paparazzi as she headed into the gym. Yeah, like she needs to work out. Someone needs to remove those sunglasses off of her bony face and make her eat them. They are truly hideous!

Snatcher Heart Gaffers Tape

Teri Snatcher strongly believes in gaffers tape and its many uses. She has confessed that she doesn't need a boob job, because she has tape!

She said: "Any model or Hollywood actress who wears fancy designer ball gowns knows how to expertly manipulate gaffer tape to mush, lift and hold your breasts like a bra. It's a perfect temporary boob job.

"When you wear those complicated, low-cut dresses, and you're 40, that's how you can achieve perfect cleavage."

Many people don't know this, but Teri also uses gaffers tape to hold her face up when she goes to sleep at night.

[Female First]

Vivica Fox's Not a Star!

ABC is gearing up for its new season of Dancing with the Stars 3 which is set to debut this September. Casting is heating up and several names have been thrown about. The network is trying to keep things on the hush.

Several sources have named Vivica Fox, Mario Lopez (Saved by the Bell) and Harry Hamlin (husband of Lisa Rinna) as possible contestants. Speaking of Harry, Lisa has been rumored to host the show after her popularity on last season.

I pray Vivie makes the cut! This ho needs a vehicle to showcase her weird-ass face! Honestly, I can't get enough of it. It's like watching a serious car crash in slow motion. You know it's just gonna get worse, the face I mean.



[FoxNews]

Crisco and the Beast

JLo and her husband Marc Anthony graced the Crystal & Lucy Awards last night. Don't tell me what that awards show is. Marc looks like he's knocking on death's door. Seriously, he needs to be in a hospice or some shit. And JLo looks like she took a bath in vaseline. Ho is shiny. No wonder Marc is squinting his eyes.

I cannot picture these two getting down and nasty. Gross, his lips probably fall off when he tries to eat her out. He's super sickly.

Is KFed Living in the Basement?

Things between Britney Spears and KFed are getting good. According to several sources their marriage is basically over. The two fight constantly and KFed isn't happy about Perry, the manny, and has threatened to leave her if she doesn't fire him. Britney has banished his ass to the basement.

A source said: "“He's been sleeping downstairs for the last several months. Things are really, really, bad. He basically does his own thing."

It's basically a matter of time. And she should've kicked him out completely, not just to the basement! Now he's going to smoke more weed and drink more of her beer.

Here's some pics of Britney, SPF and Perry at a park. SPF his over this drama.

[Us Weekly]

Stephanie Tanner is Back!

Former Full House star, Jodie Sweetin, had a little problem with crystal meth a while ago. Yeah, she was addicted. She's cleaned her shit up and has signed on to host Fuse TV's Pants-Off Dance-Off. The show will be taped in NYC and features people of all ages, sizes and colors stripping their stuff off to their favorite music videos.

I'm very happy she's back and didn't go all Christian like her TV sister Candace Cameron did. You have to visit her website, but only if you're a good person.



[Page Six]

I Knew It Couldn't Last

Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds have finally split! The two were engaged for 2 years.

Morissette, 32, and Reynolds, 29, first met at Drew Barrymore's birthday party in 2002 and dated for two years before becoming engaged in 2004.

In June 2005, Morissette told PEOPLE.com of her fiancé, "He's just such a supportive creature. I feel so loved by him, in a trampoline kind of way. He's always very happy for me."

She credited the success of their relationship in part to the fact that they're both Canadian. "We already started off with the shorthand, so I think it's a really great base. I attempted dating many American men. I tried!"

No wedding date was ever announced. "We're just really enjoying this (engagement) phase," Morissette told PEOPLE.com last year. Said Reynolds, "We feel like we're already married."

No word on why they split, but I think Ryan finally got his eyes checked. Hardy harr harr!

[People]

Girl Fight!

Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff squabbled like two little high school girls at NYC's Bungalow 8 early yesterday morning after partying at Diddy's CFDA after party. Jeremy was waiting in line for the men's room when Stephen came by and just cut in front of him. According to a witness here's the dialogue between them:

Piven: "Yo, what are you doing? You know you don't need to cut the line!"

Dorff: "I can do what I want!"

Piven: "No, you can't!"

Dorff: "Yes, I can!"

Piven: "You're a has-been!"

Dorff: "At least I am a movie star - you're only on TV! Cable TV!"

Ooooh, snap! Jeremy apparently then went into a hissy fight alerting two security guards to come and break it up before they started pulling hair and ripping each other's hoop earrings out.

A source said: "Jeremy, who actually had a table, was shoved into a bathroom by security and left shortly after. And Dorff, who was in the standing-only section, kept hanging around all night telling anyone who would listen, 'I am going to kick Jeremy Piven's ass!' It was hilarious."

How lame! Stephen Dorff is hotter so I'm with him. No, I wouldn't call him a movie star but at least he doesn't wear plugs and platform shoes. Piven is just a dweeb.

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Australian actor, Hugh Jackman, will join fellow Aussie, Nicole Kidman, in Baz Luhrman's untitled period epic. Russell Crowe left the project due to creative differences. Luhrmann's film, a romantic action-adventure set in northern Australia prior to World War II, centers on an English aristocrat (Kidman) who inherits a ranch the size of Maryland. When English cattle barons plot to take her land, she reluctantly joins forces with a rough-hewn cattle driver (Jackman) to drive 2,000 head of cattle across hundreds of miles of the country's most unforgiving land, only to still face the bombing of Darwin, Australia, by the Japanese forces that had attacked Pearl Harbor only months earlier. Shooting begins this February 2007 in Australia. [Coming Soon]

Jessica Alba has replaced Lindsay Lohan in Bill. Bill is about a man fed up with his job who finds his wife in bed with a local news anchor. He regains a lost sense of self by mentoring an unruly teen and finds inspiration in an intriguing young saleswoman. Aaron Eckart, Elizabeth Banks and Timothy Olyphant also star. [Variety]

Teri Hatcher has hopped on board the feature Resurrecting the Champ directed by Rod Lurie. The drama is about a reporter who seeks out a former famed fighter only to find out that the man isn't who he claims to be. Josh Hartnett and Samuel L. Jackson star with shooting to begin July 17th in Canada. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 6th!

The clay model for Hilary Duff's veneers. - NoAnjl


[Thx Cjjj]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Ana Gasteyer

Birthday Sluts

Tom Jones (66)
Anna Kournikova (25)
Karl Urban (34)
Jane Turner (39)
Prince (48)
Liam Neeson (54)
Jenny Jones (60)

Nicole Kidman is Really Private

Nicole Kidman is so determined to keep her wedding to Keith Urban private that she's going to extreme measures to keep the paparazzi out. They are due to marry on June 25th in Sydney, Australia.

No paper invitations will be mailed to guests for fear they could fall into the wrong hands; instead, guests will receive e-mails and then follow-up phone calls from Kidman or Urban, according to the Daily Telegraph of Australia. What's more, invitees won'’t be told where the event will be held. Rather, they'’re being instructed to be ready to be picked up by a limo.

That'’s not all. Taking a page from the wedding playbook of her buddy Russell Crowe, Kidman is reportedly looking to discourage media coverage of her nuptials by releasing both footage and still photos of her wedding to the press. The couple will give the media two pics as well as video footage of the event a few hours after the vows are said, according to the London Daily Mirror.

But just to make sure, Kidman is said to have spent $300,000 reserving all the helicopters in the Sydney area, making those aerial paparazzi shots nearly impossible. And to further frustrate the lensmen, the wedding will take place after dark.

Really, all of that security is to ensure Tom Cruise doesn't show up.

[MSNBC]

Damn! Phoebe Cates Looks the Same!

Phoebe Cates is seen here in 1989 (left) and in 2006 (right). She looks almost exactly the same. Ho looks good and it doesn't look like she had any help. She just had those brows worked out. She was seen at A Prairie Home Companion premiere with her husband, Kevin Kline.

[Us Weekly]

Not a Day Goes By When Mimi Doesn't Look Like a Fool!

Mimi and L.A. Reid attended the CFDA After-party. I don't think they were invited to the actual event. Yes, it's night times but dumbass decided to wear her shades. She probably had a little more botox stuck in.

Panty Creamers of the Day: Ashley Cole & David Beckham

The pair share a romantic date together while at England's World Cup Mittelberg training camp.

Lewis is a Beautiful Creature

Lewis has hit the big time! People magazine did a little story on his ass. In case you don't know...Lewis is the cat that is being accused of terrorizing a Connecticut neighborhood. Some Avon lady bitch claimed he seriously attacked her ass! Neighbors want his shit dead and they are going to court to get this settled. I've always purchased my Save Lewis t-shirt and will wear it proudly. I know someone that met Lewis and they said he is perfectly docile...However his paws are said to be enormous! That kinda turns me on.

[Thx Ju]

Vintage Angelina Jolie

Angie in the Meat Loaf video Rock N' Roll Dreams Come Through

[Thx Sarah & Stacy]

This Video is Trash!

Paris Hilton is a no-talent skank and here's her equally low-rent video. The song sucks and she can't even lip sync right. It looks like I shot this video with my cell phone. One good thing that came out of this video was the crabs in her pussy were finally set free into the sand.

Afternoon Crumbs

That dude won The Apprentice [Reality Blurred]

Janice Dickinson names names [Cityrag]

Are Firecrotch and Brandon Davis mating? [Hollywood Rag]

Woody Harrelson has a baby [Gabsmash]

Keanu Reeves sure sounds desperate [A Socialite's Life]

Ashton Kutcher sucks dick, I just felt like saying that [Drunken Stepfather]

Kristin Cavallari is NOT Daisy Duke, some other nobody is [IDLYITW]

Sienna Miller gets topless [Egotastic!]

Dude, I want one of her cupcakes [Hollywood Tuna]

Ryan Phillipe is shirtless again [Just Jared]

Charlize Theron Wants to See Me Nekkid

Star of silver-screen, Charlize Theron, would love x-ray vision so she could see all of our naked asses.

She said: "For a day, it would be fun to have X-ray vision where you can see people on the street naked."

Hmm..I have a question about Charlize? She's South African, right? She claims she lost her accent completely just by watching TV when she came to the States a few years ago. Is that possible to lose your shit completely? I personally think she's from South Dakota and is lying.

[LSE]

Heidi Klum for McDonald's

Salads at McDonald's are so healthy and Heidi Klum is here to tell us that they are "in." First of all, is that a cup full of salad dressing she's about to drink in the picture above? Nasty, I knew she was the type to drink cups of Blue Cheese. I hope she got paid TONS of Krona for this thing, cause she looks like a fool.





[ONTD]

Technical Difficulties

I apologize for the technical difficulties that are currently happening to Dlisted. Blogger is having issues, so some of the pictures might not come up or things could be out of wack. I wish I could post more, but I'm having trouble. This dumb piece of shit!!!! Please bare with me and then bare your privates.

xoxoxoxMichael

Chestica Simpson is NOT Doris Day

Here's our favorite fly catcher at the CFDA Fashion Awards last night in NYC.

Blohan Thinks She's Meryl Streep

Lindz Blohan was due to star in the indie-drama Bill with Aaron Eckart and Amanda Peet. She has pulled out last minute, because she doesn't want to work with a first-time director. Blohan has already worked with Robert Altman, so she thinks she's like hot shit and can like really act.

A source said: "She's just going to stick to working with big-name directors now".

Please let the next director she works with be the Grim Reaper.

[Entertainmentwise] [Thx Stacy]

This Ho is Dumb!

Heather Mills McCartney has been forced to deal with porn photos from her past. However, this peg-legged bitch is lying and telling people it was like or art or science or some shit. Bitch, sucking dick is hardly art or science..it's sucking dick! Jesus.

Her attorney issued this statement: "This photo shoot, undertaken approximately 20 years ago, was for the purpose of a 'lovers guide' to caring relationships and instructive sex in the same way as many other books on the market."

"She did not have sex with the male model and It is widely known that our client was a model and has done nude shots in the past."

Please, there's nothing wrong with being a hooker. She's putting many working women down. Heather Mills is a former porn star and there's nothing wrong with it. Bitch used to suck dick and get eaten out for cash. So what?! I'm over her hopping ass.

Are They Dating Now?

Are Blohan and Karl Lagerfeld screwing? They are suddenly like BFFs. The two are seen here creeping up the CFDA Fashion Awards in NYC. I really want to shake up Blo and tell her that Karl will never give her a contract, EVER! He would probably rather eat her pussy out than sign her to his company. And what's up with that glove he always rocks? It probably keeps his bones together.

Hot Bod, Weird Face

Janet Jackson showed up to the CFDA Fashion Awards last night at the New York Public Library. She was actually just checking out the book War and Peace and happened to see there was a party. Her body looks hot and amazing and blah blah blah...but her face is a little off. She looks like she got sucker punched and they tried to cover it up with MAC.



[Thx AlP]

Kat McPhee's 41-year-old Boy Toy

Katharine McPhee is the American Idol loser in case all of you have already forgotten about her ass. Here's her 41yo boyfriend and although she was coy about her relationship, she is screwing him. He's not bad. Maybe since she has a little dough now she can buy him a hair piece.

The Dlisted Report

Ziyi Zhang has signed a three-picture deal with The Weinstein Company. She has already secured two films for them: Mulan and a remake of The Seven Samurai. Mulan is written by Wang Hui-ling (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and forthcoming John Woo project The Battle of Red Cliff). It draws on a Chinese folk tale of a female resistance fighter who disguises herself as her father to take his place in battle. Shooting begins this February. [Variety]

Nicolas Cage will star in a remake of the Thai film Bangkok Dangerous. Cage will play a cold-blooded hit man who heads to Bangkok to pull off four jobs, and winds up falling in love with a local girl and bonding with his errand boy. Shooting begins this August in Asia. [Variety]

Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, and Parker Posey will star in the comedy Spring Breakdown. The storyline revolves around three thirtysomething friends who break the monotony of their uninspired lives by vacationing on an island that's a popular spring break getaway for college co-eds. One of the women works for a powerful senator whose daughter is one of those co-eds, only she's as geeky as her chaperones. Shooting starts next month in Los Angeles. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER for June 5th!

Blohan finally shows where her talents are: She can suck her own 7 foot clitoris. - Jennifer

[Thx Loozer]

It's Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt!

*Time Inc. sent us a letter asking us to take em or down or they will sue our asses! I'm sure they will be up legally very soon!*

Ewww, she's so ugly! Just kidding, she's precious. But I'm not looking directly into her eyes just in case she zaps me to hell. Don't messiahs have that power?

Hot Slut of the Day!

David Sedaris

Birthday Sluts

Robert Englund (57)
Uncle Kracker (32)
Max Casella (39)
Paul Giamatti (39)
Jason Isaacs (43)
Colin Quinn (47)
Sandra Bernhard (51)
Harvey Fierstein (52)

Say Something Nice

Renee & Celine: Hmm...well...um...she actually she looks older than him here!

Salma Hayek's Got Nice Ones

Salma Hayek does have the best looking breasts in the entire World. I could gaze at them for days. They make me want to be a baby again. Anyway, here she is at a Swarvoski event with whatshername.

A Who Cares Wedding

Ben Affleck's brother, Casey Affleck, married Joaquin Phoenix's sister, Summer Phoenix, this past weekend. They have been engaged since 2003 and have son named Indiana August that was born in 2004.

Who cares right?

Umm...yeah...that's basically how I feel, but it's slow and I heard an Affleck.

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Who is boozing it up? [Popsugar]

Chris Daughtry is not up to Fuel [BWE]

Did Britney Spears sign divorce papers? [Egotastic!]

Keira Knightley heart booze [Hollywood Rag]

Chris Klein has some hickeys [Just Jared]

What is Canada's Walk of Fame? [Hollywood Tuna]

Is Colin Farrell secretly married to Lake Bell? [Glitterati]

Justin and Jake love each other [A Socialite's Life]

Everyone loves a Nicole Richie [Drunken Stepfather]

This is why I hate politics [Queerty]

Rihanna is a Bratz Doll Come to Life!

Is it just me or does Rihanna look totally like a Bratz doll. It's like some fairy brought her to life to entertain us with song and dance. Anyway, here she is at the MTV Movie Awards blowing kisses like all the other Hollywood tramps. I just want to staple their damn lips shut so they could never blow again!

Blohan Teaches Her Sister to be Just Like Her

Blohan and Ali Lohan make no sense at A Prairie Home Companion premiere after-party in NYC.

Shiloh Novel Jolie-Pitt Poses for Charity

She-ho Novella had her picture taken at a private photo shoot and the images will be released by Getty. All proceeds from the sale of the photographs will go to an unnamed charity to help underprivileged children in Africa.

They issued this in a joint statement: "While we celebrate the joy of the birth of our daughter, we recognize that two million babies born every year in the developing world die on the first day of their lives. These children can be saved, but only if governments around the world make it priority."

Honestly, she probably just looks like a baby. Babies basically look all the same. Some are hotter than others, but they are all pretty much chunky and happy looking.

When I googled "Shiloh Nouvel" the picture above came up. So Shiloh looks like a cross between Parasite Hilton and Eminem? Yeah, that's pretty much what I figured "the messiah" would look like.

[Breitbart]

Jennifer Garner Says No to Pamela Ewing

Jennifer Garner had planned to star as Pamela Ewing in the Dallas movie, but has pulled out due to JLo's involvement in the flick. JLo has already signed on to play Sue-Ellen in the flick and Jen felt that there would be strange tension on the set since she's married to JLo's ex, Ben Affleck.

A source said: "Jennifer Garner was really keen to be in 'Dallas', but I think she felt there would be a bit of a strain between them on set and that could have led to awkward situations."

Garner is a tard. Don't let any other bitch mess with your money! A job is a job. You get your ass on set and deal with that ho like a real woman. You walk right up to her and say "I hope we don't have any problems bitch, because I have your man now and he ain't never want your rotten poo-tang again!"

[LSE] [Thx Stacy]

What is Paris Smoking?

TMZ has a little video of Paris Hilton pulling up to a Hollywood night club and suspiciously puffing on something in the back seat. When she sees the camera man, she immediately swings around and pretends to be putting on her make-up.

Her people had this to say: "“I just want to get something clear with you. Paris Hilton rolled her own tobacco cigarettes. It was tobacco that you saw."

I don't think her ass was smoking weed. I think it was just dried jizz. If she goes an hour without it, her vagina will fall off.

Watch it!

He's Not Dead After All!

Olivia Newton John's camera man boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, has been missing for nearly a year. Patrick was last seen on June 30, 2005 on a fishing trip just off of San Pedro, CA. He didn't come back and everyone thought a shark ate his shit or something. As the days went on, investigators found out that Patrick had massive debts and faced jail time for dodging child support payments to his ex-wife.

Patrick may not be dead after all. He was spotted very recently off the Baja California coast with a mystery blonde.

According to a story on Monday in the Daily Telegraph – which says that McDermott is now suspected of faking his death – he has been seen in Mexico's Baja Peninsula over the past three months, and as recently as 10 days ago.

Manuel Valdez, owner of a bar north of the Mexican resort town of Cabo San Lucas, tells the paper he saw McDermott three months ago and was struck by McDermott's mood, saying "it was one of those situations where you don't know if the person is on drugs or normally quiet."

Newton-John, 57, was at a health retreat she owns in Australia when she learned of McDermott's disappearance, and returned to the U.S. at the end of last July. In October she told the hosts of The View that her initial reaction to hearing about McDermott was utter shock. "I was just kind of frozen. … But you have to move on. I didn't think I was going to sing again, but I am singing again."

I guess that's one way to avoid the clink. That's so Sleeping with the Enemy of him. I hope he is wearing a bad wig and shit.

[People]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH super-skinny celeb says she wants to gain weight but can't? Seems that when she was not so thin, she had her stomach stapled and is stuck with her skeletal look.

Nicole Richie

WHICH Hollywood starlet, who's earned a rep for sleeping with almost anyone, is now into threesomes? She likes to get it on with two guys at once in club bathrooms.

Blohan

WHICH young, divorced celebrity left her man because she thought she had found true love with someone else? Sadly, the guy she had an affair with freaked out when she left her husband for him and hasn't called her since.

Chestica Simpson & Adam Levine

WHICH actress is so desperate for male attention, she's been known to turn into a "psycho-stalker?'' After her last one-night stand, her conquest, whom many assumed to be gay, said he couldn't get rid of her.

Teri Snatcher & Ryan Seacrest

[Page Six]

Who is She Having Sex With?

Britney Spears loves being knocked up. It gives her a reason to look even trashier than she normally does. She can blame not brushing her hair on her unborn baby. She told People magazine this about her pregnancy:

"I think it's best. Sex is crazy good."

She's fucking the manny, huh? It was probably part of his job description since KFed's not hitting that shit.

Brit also doesn't plan to return to her day job anytime soon.

"I'm sure there's going to come a time when I get back to work again, but it'll be a totally different way of life than it was before."

Yeah, it will be different alright. This time when you sell an album, like 3 people will buy it instead of millions. And instead of performing in stadiums, you'll be opening up for Expose at County Fairs.

[MSNBC] [Thx Al P]

This Ho is Ugly!

That's all I really have to say about Vivica Fox. She was a beautiful woman and then went ahead and effed up her mug for absolutely no reason. Poor Tyson Bedford probably woke up the day after this picture was taken with fug all over his cheek. It's a shame.

Is Mimi Special?

What kind of grown woman dresses like a mentally challenged tween! Jesus! Somebody smack this bitch up, so she can act her age!

Janet's Still Hot

Is that her troll boyfriend? She needs to dumb that wreck and get with someone as hot as her. I'm not digging the whole Popeye the Sailor Man with crunchy hair, but she's still hot. At least she looks black other than her mess of a brother and sister.

Oh, this is at Hot 97's Summer Jam last night.

Heather Mills is a Porn Slut!

Everything comes back to haunt you and that's what these hardcore German pictures did for Heather Mills McCartney. The soon-to-be former Mrs. Paul McCartney posed for a magazine where she performed sex acts on some curly haired dude.

The porn shoot was published in 1988 — five years before the blonde became famous after losing her leg when hit by a police motorbike.

Now 38 and mum to Sir Paul’s two-year-old Beatrice, she stopped at very little when she took part in the revolting snaps for Die Freuden Der Liebe — The Joys Of Love.

The filthy volume features 112 pages filled with pictures — and contains NO accompanying words.

Heather and Sir Paul, 63, announced last month that they were separating after just four years of marriage. Geordie-born Heather could claim up to £200million in a divorce.

Visit The Sun to see more pictures of this mess. Hey a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I'm not going to hate on her, but her breasts look pretty saggy and nasty. She could've used a tit job.

The Dlisted Report

The Break-Up proved critics wrong and came in #1 at the box office with $38 Million. X-Men 3 dropped to the #2 spot with just over $34 Million. Over the Hedge clocked in at #3 with $20 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Amanda Bynes will play the role of Penny Pingleton in the film adaptation of the Broadway musical Hairpspray. The film is directed by Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House) and will star John Travolta as Edna and Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle. [Coming Soon]

Dimension Films plans to make a new Halloween movie to be directed by Rob Zombie. Zombie will also write the film and serve and music supervisor. Zombie's vision of this film is an entirely new take on the legend and will satisfy fans of the classic "Halloween" legacy while beginning a new chapter in the Michael Myers saga. This new movie will not only appeal to horror fans, but to a wider movie-going audience as well. It will not be a copycat of any prior films in the "Halloween" franchise. The film is set for an October 2007 theatrical release. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS Contest for WINNER June 2nd!

The fruit stands alone - Mo Jackson

Runner-ups:

As hard as he tried, he still came off gayer than a vegetable beauty pageant. - Prico

tossing his salad would make me toss my cookies - Jeff S

Hot Slut of the Day!

Treat Williams

[For Stacy]

Birthday Sluts

Marky Mark (35)
Jade Goody (25)
Peter Wentz (27)
Chad Allen (32)
Brian McKnight (37)
Ron Livingston (38)
Kenny G (50)

Al Reynolds Got Highlights!

Doesn't Star Jones and Al Reynolds look happier than a pig in shit?

Here is Star and her poor dog, Pinky, at the Celebration for Children's Rights in Santa Monica, CA. I think that it's AGAINST children's rights to have that hag face anywhere near them. Seriously, her dog is even positively afraid of her.

Someone needs to call the ASPCA and save this poor animal before she dies of a heart attack from looking into those beady eyes every morning.

This is the face of evil!

Hot Slut of the Week: Nancy McKeon

Age: 40
Birthday: April 4, 1966
Birth Name: Nancy Justine McKeon

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: May 28, 2006
Claim to Fame: Playing lesbian Jo on The Facts of Life.

Where is she now? She is married to some no-name dude and they have one kid. She's done some Lifetime movies and in 2001 starred in the series The Division.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Even though Blair Warner was my favorite, I still had a little thing for Jo because she was more butch than me.

Tori Spelling Gives Birth Early!!!

Isn't her baby gorgeous?





No, it's not confirmed but that's totally what her spawn is going to look like.

Panty Creamer of the Day: Little Richard

Blowing Kisses at the MTV Movie Awards

Last night was the MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles. The show doesn't air on TV until this Thursday, but I doubt you'll miss anything if you don't watch it. Xtina performed and again went for that played-out Marilyn Monroe look. And why is it that all these whores from Brooke Hogan to Xtina to Cindy Margolis to Eva Mendes think that the blow kiss is like sexy. They look like they are laying down a queef.







Joe Simpson and his wife #1 showed up!







Jessica Alba was the hostess of the evening and decided to cover up her assets, because she wants to be taken seriously by the very conservative and discriminating MTV audience. I mean show your talents!





Is Kate Hudson still holding on to 19 with all her might?



Romjin Lettuce looks a little thick and a little Texas 1989.



Who invited the grandparents?!



Jello or Kate Beckinsale...you decide!

Fishsticks is a Fat Klutz

Fishsticks Paltrow broke her husband, Chris Martin's, computer after her fat ass knocked into it. She bumped into it at their London home and caused the casing to get fucked up and she done broke that shit.

"The hinges broke and the screen was hanging off. It wouldn'’t turn on. Chris does a lot of work on there and the computer is his baby."

The computer was fixed and all was well.

That slimy maggot did it on purpose! He was probably meeting hotter chicks on Match.com and she wasn't having it.

[Digital Spy] [Thx Angie]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Alison Arngrim

[For Angela]

Birthday Sluts

Angelina Jolie (31)
Nikka Costa (34)
Noah Wyle (35)
Scott Wolf (38)
Rachel Griffiths (38)
Sam Harris (45)
Michelle Phillips (62)
Bruce Dern (70)
Dr. Ruth (78)