Dlisted: 05/21/2006 - 05/28/2006

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Just a Diet Coke and an Empty Bag Please!

The Photoshop Awards: Kristin Cavallari

Angelina Jolie Giving Birth Today?

According to several reports, Angelina Jolie is set to give birth to Jesus Jolie-Pitt anytime today in Namibia.

The actress' doctors convinced her to give birth by Caesarean section yesterday due to a minor complication, according to American publication In Touch.

But insiders insist the birth will be "routine" when the 30-year-old becomes a natural mother for the first time later today.

Jolie and her boyfriend Brad Pitt along with their adopted children Maddox and Zahara have been holed up in a compound at Namibia's Burning Shore resort for almost two months awaiting the arrival of their first child together.

The baby will be born in a local hospital, according to the In Touch insider after Jolie was advised against giving birth naturally, as planned, at her Swakopmund resort home late last week.

Earlier too Jolie had said that if the baby didn’t make it into the world by June 3, she will have labour induced at the beginning of next month.

I really hope she holds it in until June 5th when the box office estimates for The Break-Up come out and it will be the worst day of Jennifer Aniston's life!


Vanity Has to Be the Hottest Bitch EVER!

I try to listen to a Vanity song at least once a day. This bitch used to be a hot motherfucker back in her day! Too bad she's married to Jesus now. Anyway, here's a throwback of her and Vanity 6 doing Pretty Mess.

Happy Saturday!

The Dlisted Challenge!

Rip on Kimora Lee without calling her a tranny, dude or anything with a penis. Yeah, it's pretty impossible.

Scary is Right!

Behold! It's Scary Spice aka Melanie Brown showing her shit in Hawaii. Bitch put her bathing suit on the wrong way! I ain't gonna hate her for that. Her face is scary, but her body is hot. Methinks this is Janet Jackson's body double! Hey, mama's gotta feed the kids.

It's Not Snowing!

*The Photo Agency That Owns These Pictures Asked For Them to Be Removed*

It's warm in Los Angeles, right? It's not like a snowy tundra? So, why in the hell is Jessica Simpson wearing this shit. They are ugly to begin with and should only be worn when you're about to get rescued by a giant St. Bernard carrying hot cocoa, because your shit is half frozen. And what's the point of wearing them with coochie cutters. I've had it with this piece of trash!

Tobey Maguire is No Longer Fat, But Still Fug

Looks like Tobey Maguire has lost the chunk, but in my opinion he still has a face made for fugging. His mug looks a little downsey. Anyway, here's Spidey Man shooting the third installment in my fair Hamlet.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Harvey - Son of Jordan

Birthday Sluts: Happy Birthday Harvey!!

Harvey (4)
Andre 3000 (31)
Denise Van Outen (32)
Paul Bettany (35)
Joseph Fiennes (36)
Todd Bridges (41)
Adam Corrola (42)
Peri Gilpin (45)
Sioxsie Sioux (48)
Cynthia McFadden (50)
Louis Gosset Jr. (70)
Christopher Lee (84)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Hitching a Ride to the DQ

Britney Spears, SPF and her manny are in the middle of some road. I don't know why, but I would guess they are hitchhiking to somewhere super classy like Wal-Mart or Food for Less. The curlers add a nice touch.

Gwen Stefani Has Baby Boy!

How do magazines know this? Jesus. Anyway, US Weekly is reporting that Gwen Stefani is currently getting ready to pop out her kid.

A very pregnant Gwen Stefani and rocker husband Gavin Rossdale arrived at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles this morning where doctors plan to induce labor and deliver the couple’s child via C-section at noon PST. Rossdale dropped his wife off at the maternity ward, parked Stefani'’s silver Range Rover and "“seemed a little nervous and he checked the baby car seat before he got out,"” according to a witness. Rossdale then took the elevator to the maternity ward. "“Gwen was wearing her signature red lipstick and looked so excited,"” the onlooker added.

Do they induce for a C-section? I just thought they cut that baby out. Anyway, we'll be patiently waiting to see what effed up name their gonna give him/her. I'm thinking Artichoke Dust or Platypus Tuna Melt.

UPDATE: She had the kid, a boy at 1pm PT! They apparently want to name him "King" or Kingston"

[Us Weekly]

What is this Video About?

Paris Hilton shot another day of her video wearing only some ugly-ass bathing suits. She showed that this video is basically of about her being a whore and ripping off the shorts of men. So, I guess it's just a day in the life sort of vid.

Bobby Brown Quote of the Day!

"My wife is wonderful ... she is fine."

"We are ... working on our relationship. I look in her eyes and I see God."

[Thx Stacy]

If I Had a Frappuccino for Every Time She's Threw Him Out....

...I'd be as fat as her ass!

PREGNANT Britney Spears has thrown hubby Kevin Federline out of her home — heightening divorce rumours.

Kevin, 28, has spent three out of the last four nights holed up in a flat with pals in Sherman Oaks, California — while Britney has remained at home in Malibu.

Britney, 24, refuses to comment.

A pal said: “Things have suddenly turned very sour. It looks bad.”

Please, ho is as dickmatized as they cum. Seriously, she'll come begging for it in no time.

[The Sun] [Thx Anonie]

Hilary Swank Files for Divorce!

I guess these two kids aren't going to try and work it out. Hilary Swank filed for divorce from her husband, Chad Lowe, after 5 years of marriage.

The couple's lawyer said: "Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe have jointly decided to divorce They continue to be friends and have the utmost respect for one another."


This is Her Daily Meal

Nicole Richie had to ask a friend for some cash to buy a snow cone in L.A.

How much does a snow cone cost? She has like $12 there? Somebody's getting screwed! They are totally high-fiving her for eating that much today!

Holiday Weekend Crumbs

Victoria Silvstedt pops out at Cannes [Hollywood Tuna]

Brandon Davis says he's sorry [Popsugar]

Goodbye Tony Danza [BWE]

Hugh Jackman would never take roids [A Socialite's Life]

Jennifer Aniston is box office poison [Just Jared]

The Pussycat Doll are not dolls [IDLYITW]

Michelle Rodriguez is getting deported [Egotastic!]

Nick Lachey's new woman [Hollywood Rag]

Rachel Bilson's nipples [Drunken Stepfather]

Kiki's mouth full of corn [Cityrag]

Did This Movie Even Make Money?

Is reality whore, Kristin Cavallari, replacing Chestica Simpson as Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard movies? I mean, are they even making another one?

Bill Gerber, the producer of last year's The Dukes of Hazzard, tells PEOPLE in its new issue that he is working on a prequel to the movie that brought Simpson (and her rear view) film fame – and he thinks Cavallari, 19, would fill out those Daisy Duke shorts quite nicely.

"She's at the top of the list," he says. "I like her innocence and her beauty."

Why not just stick with Simpson, 25? "It's a prequel, like Batman (Begins)," he says. "We're going for a whole new cast."

So she tries to take her man and now she's trying to take her role? That's cold. Next thing you know she's going to try and take Ken Paves. Ewww, even the sounds of his name makes me hot.


Find the Clay!

[Idol 2006 Blog] [Thx Stacy]

Jared Leto is as Gay as a Goose

Jared Leto was mostly likely teasing when he did an interview with AOL.

ThirtySecondLeto: I’ll give you an exclusive....
TyeinMusic: ooh. lay it on me
ThirtySecondLeto: I’m gay
TyeinMusic: *!*
TyeinMusic: please tell me you're serious
ThirtySecondLeto: as a goose.
TyeinMusic: so does this mean that in real life, you were more “Ricky Vasquez” than “Jordan Catalano”?
TyeinMusic: don’t tease me, jared!

Most likely he was just teasing or maybe Blohan turned him gay. I hope it's the latter, cause his shit is hot. Oh and I think that he's completely stereotyping geese by calling them gay!

Read entire interview

What are They Holding?!

Break me off a piece of that! Seriously and butter it. I like that shit with tons of better, I don't go for that olive oil crap. Homey don't play that.

Anyway, here's a vintage ad from the 70s which is basically hotter than hot. They don't make em' like this anymore.

[Thx rymills]

Janice Dickinson's Spills the Beans on "Mating" with Mick Jagger

When Janice Dickinson is promoting something, you can bet your ass she's going to try to shock and appall us. This isn't so much as shocking or appalling as it is nasty. She talks about what it was like to "mate" with Mick Jagger.

"Mating with Mick for me was like a boxing match; the ring was my queen-sized mattress. He'd flip me over and then I'd flip him over - which wasn't hard because he only came up to my shoulders if we were standing. In the throes of passion, I thought about my ideal man - who was not Mick Jagger. My dream was a Jewish JIM MORRISON; Mick was more like the Dutch Boy you see on paint cans...He wasn't at all my type. But then again, it didn't matter - because he was Mick Jagger."

Gross. I don't know why imagining sex between these creatures grosses me out. It should be hot, but not in my eyes it ain't and who the hell says "mating"? Janice, quit trying to act like a lady. Whores say "fucking" and that's what you should be saying!

[PR Inside] [Thx Stacy]

Underdog Lady dances into my heart!

by Lahoma00

Suzanne Muldowney, aka Underdog Lady, is a brilliant dancer that needs to be seen by the world! Underdog Lady dresses up as Underdog and dances around in parades and stuff. Apparently she also dresses up as Dracula, but doesn't do it often because she feels it's too terrifying for people to handle.

Here is this bitch performing on Jimmy Kimmel and then talking to him afterwards. I love her!

Is Posh Actually Eating?!

Posh Beckham was driven around yesterday and looked to be eating something. Perhaps she was just tricking her stomach by pretending to eat. That's a new diet thing. Anyway, I'm surprised she even sat in the front seat!

The Dlisted Report

Willem Dafoe has joined the sequel to the 1997 hit Bean called Bean II. The second film finds the hapless Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) traveling to the South of France on holiday, causing the usual mayhem and ending with an unscheduled screening of his video diary at the Cannes Film Festival. Shooting started last week in Paris. [Variety]

Eva Mendes will topline the feature Live! The film, seen through the lens of a documentary film crew, follows ambitious president of programming Katy (Mendes), who attempts to produce a highly-controversial reality TV show which has contestants competing for five million dollars playing Russian Roulette with loaded guns live on the air. Shooting begins next mont in Los Angeles. [Production Weekly]

The starry cast of Wong Kar Wei's English-language debut film has grown. Kevin Spacey and Ed Harris have joined My Blueberry Nights which stars Norah Jones. The film is about a young woman journeying across the U.S. in an attempt to resolve her questions about the meaning of love. Along the way she encounters some quirky characters. Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz also star in the film with shooting to begin this Summer around the country. [THR]

Michael K on MySpace

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