Silvia Night is the Hottest Woman in the World!

Here is the hottest video of Icelandic singer Silvia Night freaking out after she was voted out of the Eurovisions finals of 2006. Eurovision is a song contest in which every country sends a singer and a song to compete. This crazy ho flips out on some bridge after hearing the news! She slaps, she curses and she calls some reporter a slut! This is my kind of girl!



[Thx Lee DC]

This is Not Jesus Jolie Pitt

Somebody posted this picture with "19 inches, 6 pounds and 1 ounce" on Craigslist.org. It's sooo just a joke, because that baby is gonna come out half black and Brad Pitt will be in for quite a shock.

[Thx Kris]

Somebody Get This Whore a Bra

You Have to Admit

Mimi looks kind of hot here. Just a little? Maybe, she hypnotized me with her thunder thighs. Here she is at Operation Smile's Annual Dinner.

The Newest Cast of Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling is....

Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger!

The two has-beens were involved in a fucking bitch fight at Plumm in NYC to celebrate Rosario Dawson's birthday.

The singer was at the Plumm nightclub in New York where Guns N' Roses performed an acoustic set to celebrate the birthday of actress Roasario Dawson.

Before the band took to the stage, Rose was repeatedly punched in the arm by fashion guru Hilfiger, who was escorted from the venue by security guards.

Speaking about the incident on KROQ radio on Friday morning, Rose claimed the incident occurred after he asked Hilfiger to move his date's drink so it wouldn't get knocked over.

He said Hilfiger became angry and hit him and swore at him before being kicked out of the club. Rose described the incident as "the most surreal thing that has happened in my life".

Plumm owner Noel Ashman added: "Axl was a gentleman and had the good sense not to retaliate, as he would have done some serious damage to Hilfiger."

When Rose finally took to the stage he dedicated song 'You're Crazy' to "my good friend Tommy Hilfiger" before inviting birthday girl Dawson on stage to serenade her with 'Sweet Child O' Mine'.

Seriously, these two need to be the newest members of GLOW. And what the fuck is Tommy doing trying to fight with Axl? Hell no, that's just asking for the beating of a lifetime!

[Virgin] [Thx Mousie]

I Hope He's Getting Paid A Lot!

My heart goes out to Vivica Fox's new boy toy....poor thing has to put his lips and other body parts on that face each and every night. Let's hope his ass is getting paid a boat load for this situation. Vivica needs to work this out...in therapy.

When Ugly Clothes Happen to Ugly People

Jordan's Quote of the Day!

"I was being interviewed by four journalists when I did the loudest fart- it almost blew me off my chair. I did not admit that it was me."

[Thx Albz]

Aishwarya Rai is Perfect

Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai is in Cannes to promote her film Provoked and damn she's perfect. Honestly, I think she's one of the most beautiful women in the World. Even, Angelina Jolie said she wanted that.

Why Can't Starlet Jones Get a Job?

Star Jones is expected to announce her leaving The View any day now and is currently looking for another project to give her a reason. Star and her people are desperately searching for anybody to give her a show. So far nobody is interested.

I personally think that Star should take a much needed vacation and rest that rubbery face of hers. It's time for Gay Al to get to work. I hear that Queer Eye needs a new cast member.

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Luis Guzman

Birthday Sluts

Timothy Olyphant (38)
Busta Rhymes (34)
Mindy Cohn (40)
Tony Goldwyn (46)
Bronson Pinchot (47)
Judy Kuhn (48)
Cher (60)
Joe Cocker (62)
Constance Towers (73)

Say Something Nice

The Gottis: Um...well....er...the fat one...um...he's...ack! Mercy!

Slater Had the Moves!

This honestly was the shit! It would've been ultra hot if Jesse Spano joined in!

[Like I Really Would]

Which One is the Cupcake?

Jake Gyllenhaal spent his afternoon yesterday grabbing a cupcake for his cupcake, I'm sure. That ho needs a razor bad and I need a cupcake.

Brandon Davis Needs to Grow Some Balls!

Girls Gone Wild idiot, Joe Francis, is seen here in this video telling TMZ that he spoke with Brandon Davis personally and Brandon told him that he called Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan and apologized to her. Just in case you have the memory of a goldfish, Brandon was seen in a video going off on Lindsay calling her "firecrotch" a million times and saying her clit was 7 feet long. Which is probably true.

What a tool! Paris Hilton has yet to apologize for laughing like an idiot at each joke.

Watch it!

Beyonces Loves Her Chicken!

It's a slow news day and here's a funny Beyonce video!!

TGIF!

[Thx Willie]

I'm NOT Loving It

Here's a freakishly scary McDonald's ad from India. This is what your baby will look like if you feed it a Big Mac.

[Ad World] [Thx Jada]

Afternoon Crumbs

Is Firecrotch sniffing at Richie's leftovers? [BWE]

Heather Graham's denim nightmare [Hollywood Tuna]

Vintage Janet Jackson doing a sex dance [Concrete Loop]

The hilarous streakers [Cityrag]

Jessica Alba beats down some ass [Egotastic!]

Howard Stern thinks Brandon Davis is gross [Hollywood Rag]

Quentin Tarantino wants Fergie's sweet nothings [IDLYITW]

Aquaman will never happen [Just Jared]

Brooke Hogan brings elegance to Florida [Drunken Stepfather]

Let the cocaine flow! Naomi Campbell's planning a fiesta [A Socialite's Life]

You Couldn't Pay Me Enough to Kiss Axl Rose!

Ok, maybe you could.

Rosario Dawson puckered up onto Axl's flakey white skin at her birthday party last night. Does he have that Jacko skin disease? She's totally cheating on her hot boyfriend (Jason Lewis, below) with him. I'd probably suck off Axl just to say I did. However, his dick would probably crumble into my mouth like Feta cheese.

Movie Review: Art School Confidential

by Lahoma00



Last night, Michael K and I put on our best furs and went to the cinema. We went to see Art School Confidential, which had some hot moments but ultimately sucked. Basically it's about this kid that goes to art school, falls in love with some bitch that thinks she's Kate Winslet, then gets jealous of this other artist and goes nuts. The movie feels like it doesn't know what it is, but I'm sure it's really a metaphor for art that I'm too fucking stupid to understand. Also that slut Shane from the L Word is in it, proving that she can play no other role than a lesbian (or a drag king).

But the hottest part of the movie was this couple behind us. The girl was this stupid bitch that kept talking loudly through the whole movie. When she finally shut up it was only because she was sucking her boyfriend's dick! I kid you not!

Courtney Love Needs Jonathan Antin

Courtney Love needs the stylings of Jonathan Antin. Actually, I take that back. Yes she looks like a badger caught in a wind tunnel, but at least it's a look. She's trying to do something instead of looking like everybody else. I'll give her that.

Here she is shopping at Stella McCartney. I don't know these stores even let her in, that hos credit is no good!

Angelina Jolie Due Any Minute

According to Extra TV, several sources claim that Angelina Jolie is due to give birth within the next 48 hours in Namibia.

On Thursday, Brangelina's security in Namibia was tighter than ever. One newspaper report claimed Angelina may opt for a home birth with a private aircraft on standby.

Baby Brangelina isn't even born yet, but the little one is already creating buzz from coast to coast. "Brad, you know it doesn't seem like he needs too much of my advice," Will Smith said. "He's got it going on."

I think we'll know when Jesus Pitt Jolie hits the World. The Earth will shake, doves will cry, angels will soar and Jennifer Aniston will spontaneously combust.

[Extra TV] [Thx HR]

Goodbye Marissa Cooper

I don't watch The O.C, but I do feel sadness at the loss of the amazing and talented Mischa Barton. As all you know, Marissa Cooper was killed off last night finally confirming speculation that Mischa has left the show in order to pursue a film career. She has one film coming out this year and 3 next year.

Fans of the show were pissed off when Mischa spilled the beans about her death to Access Hollywood a few days ago. She said, "My character has been through so, so much and there's really nothing more left for her to do."

Well, if this film shit doesn't pan out (which it won't) Mischa can't come back to the show. I have a feeling it's not going to last long anyway.

Halle Berry in Racist Argument!

Halle Berry was in London promoting X-Men 3 when she clashed with a popular radio DJ. It all started when Chris Moyles and Hugh Jackman joked that Chris should be Hugh's body double if he ever lands the role of James Bond.

Chris responded with: "I could definitely do that. Put your hands in the air!" Hugh replied, "Are you some kind of Brooklyn Bond?"

Chris said, "I'm a black American guy. A big, fat, black guy. Put your hands up in the air."

That's when Halle got upset and said, "Are we having a racist moment here?"

Chris then said that they weren't, it's just that he's bad at doing American accents.

Halle left the interviewing saying that felt Chris was extremely grouchy.

[Yahoo News] [Thx Stacy]

You Know That Keyboard is Like Toddler Size!

Nicole Richie had trouble carrying some items to her car from an ethnic store while dressed in a hot pink sari in Los Angeles. She is so weird.

You Know You Want This!

Ozzy Osbourne leaving LAX

How Dare Tyra Banks!

Tyra Banks has the nerve to tell Danielle from America's Next Top Model that her gap is ugly and that she talks ghetto. But bitch shows up to The CW upfronts with a shitty-ass wig line, AGAIN! She used to be hot shit whens he was younger, but now with all that make-up and wigs..she looks like a straight up and down low-rent RuPaul. She better work!

Battle of the Fake Tans!

It was battle of the divas and battle of the fake tans at Karl Lagerfeld's "Farewell to Daylight" photo exhibition. Mimi joined Karl Lagerfeld and Andre Leon Talley to celebrate. What's more funny is that I don't think Karl has ever seen daylight. He is seriously a zombie. I'd still hit it, just kidding! I swear!

What the Hell is MillionaireMatch.com?!

Shit, we need to get on that shit pronto!

Anyhow, some gold-digging whore is claiming that Charlie Sheen done did her wrong after she met him on millionairematch.com.

"He's about as sick as they come," says the aspiring actress in her late 20s, who looks a schoolgirl-ish 18. The Sheen throwaway spoke with Life & Style, which published a clean version of what the unidentified woman said. Here's the unedited rest of it.

"He posed as a talent scout [and] left a message that was, like, 'Hi, this is Mr. Jonze, I'm interested in seeing more pictures of you.' When I called him back, after a few minutes of talking, he told me who he was.

"We dated for about a month. He's such a [bleep]ing perv. He would ask me to dress up, like, in pigtails and schoolgirl outfits. I don't think he's like a pedophile, but he's definitely into really young girls. You know like 18, 19. I don't doubt that everything his wife is saying now is true.

"He was a big talker, and once I asked him if he was this open with all his girlfriends. He said that he was. He said, 'I like to get to know everyone, even pros.' He calls prostitutes pros . . . He would take Viagra every time before sex, which is kind of weird."

Then things went sour. "We dated from early-mid April till just a couple days ago. Then one day, out of the blue, I can't reach him," she fumed. "I call and it's dead air. He didn't even have the decency to break up with me. Basically, he used me."

The woman also told the mag that Sheen "absolutely hates Denise. He would call her 'that demon' or say, 'she's the antichrist.' "

Let's see...you're dating a married man that has been known to pick-up hookers, has a drug problem and is crazy. Yet, you are surprised when he doesn't have the decency to dump you and you're surprised he's into kinky shit. Yup, she is a dumb whore.

Sheen's spokebitch had this hilarious rebuttle: "It's not true . . . Why don't you just lose my number?"

Wow, that's good PR work for ya!

[Page Six]

The (Almost) Falling of SPF as Told in Pictures

Hey y'all! I got my vodka tonics and I'm ready to party!



Oh damn, I think that tonics gave me gas! It's aight, I'll just let one out. SPF don't mind!




Shit, my sevens are getting caught on my platform wedges! Lackey, grab the sack! Shit that hat was from The Gap!



Fuck my vodka tonics is gonna spill!



That shit was close! I hope the ice didn't melt.



Fuck, to think I almost spilled my vodka tonics!



That was close! Oh my gawd, I almost lost my tonics! Shit! That shit was juciy!



But it's all good, I'll get another one!



Click here for tons of photos from this event!

Save SPF!

The Dlisted Report

Barry Levinson will direct Scarlett Johansson in Brilliant. The film, which will head into production in September, follows Johansson as a jewel thief who teams up with a conman to pull off the biggest heist in history. However, the duo's relationship is fraught with twists and turns. The film will be released in 2007. [Variety]

Kevin Spacey will play the main villian in Joe Claus. He joins Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti in the Holiday comedy. Vaughn stars as the loser brother of Santa who joins his sibling at the North Pole. Shooting begins this Fall in London. [Variety]

Director Richard LaGravense will direct Hilary Swank in PS, I Love You based on a best-selling novel by Cecelia Ahern. PS, I Love You is the story of a young Irish widow trying to put her life together again after her husband dies. She receives monthly letters he wrote before he died, helping her to overcome her grief. [Production Weekly]

Naomi Watts will play one of the leads in Eastern Promises for David Cronenberg. Watts will play Anna, a midwife at a London hospital who gets dragged into the criminal underworld when she tries to discover the identity of a dead patient. Viggo Mortensen also stars. Shooting begins this November. [Variety]

Brittany Murphy has signed on to play the lead in The Ramen Girl. The film is the story of an American woman (Murphy) who's stranded in Tokyo after breaking up with her boyfriend. Searching for direction in life, she trains to be a ramen noodle chef under a tyrannical Japanese master. Shooting will take place in Tokyo. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

They're gonna be waiting a looooong time for those autpgraphs. - fo sho

Runner-up:

Katie Holmes' family at the MI3 premiere. - Tang Wei Dong


[Thx Tina]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sheena Easton

Birthday Sluts

Grace Jones (54)
Rachel Appleton (14)
Eric Lloyd (20)
Amanda De Cadanet (34)
Polly Walker (40)
Sean Whalen (42)
Pete Townshend (61)
Nora Ephron (65)

We Need to Save SPF NOW!!!

A reader actually e-mailed me this afternoon to tell me that he just saw Britney Spears almost drop SPF as she left the Ritz Carlton in NYC. TMZ has a picture which tells the tale! That poor baby!

We're told Britney was holding a drink in her left hand and Sean in her right as she maneuvered through a crowd of onlookers. Britney moves through the crowd and then she suddenly trips, the baby's head goes backward and his hat flies off his head. Britney regained her balance and the baby seemed ok.

He is going to lose his brains! He's destined to be mentally challenged, the way he's been knocked our. At least he can be good chums with Harvey.

Operation: SAVE SPF is in full effect y'all!

Paris Hilton's Ocean Spray Colonic

Here's a sort of funny Ocean Spray commercial that was too hot for Australian TV. It features a Paris Hilton look-a-like trying to give herself a cranberry colonic.

It's based on a true story.

[Adrants]

I Know What I Said!

I know I said I'd quit with Brandon Davis, but this shit is too good. This is by the lovely 14 and she's a total genius. However, Brandon looks kinda hot in that pic. I'd let him suck off my firecrotch.

[Gallery of the Absurd]

Megabitch Takes Her Kids to the Zoo!

Denise Richards probably contacted the paps to let them know she would be at the zoo to prove what a good mother she is. She looks hot though and I love the hair on her eldest. I mean, that's straight up 1972 and I'm into it. She looks just like Charlie and I'm not sure that's a good thing. You know the nanny hates her ass.







[Lime-Light]

Fellas! She's All Yours!

Jennifer Wilbanks is single and ready to mingle!

The runaway bride's wedding has been called off, but you can't tell she's sad from the expression on her face!

A year ago Jennifer Wilbanks bolted into tabloid infamy as the "Runaway Bride" when she faked her own kidnapping for three days on the eve of her wedding in Duluth, Ga.

To the amazement of many, fiancé John Mason quickly took her back, with the couple even moving into a large new home in an Atlanta suburb and talking about taking a second run at marriage.

But in early May Mason's camp let it be known that any nuptials were off – and suddenly the woman who couldn’t take "I do" for an answer seems to be having a problem with "I don't."

"I'm not confirming or denying the breakup," Wilbanks, 33, told PEOPLE May 14. "John and I have some things to work out."

But to Mason's family and friends there is no doubt that this time the split is for good. "I think John realized there were some fundamental differences in their personalities that he wasn't going to be able to deal with," a friend says of Mason, 33, who runs his family's Duluth medical-care business.

I personally love this broad. Her longing gaze has always been comforting to me. Can you imagine getting heard from her? Those eyes looking up at you would scare the crabs off of ya!

[People] [Thx Susan]

KFed and His Band of Tools

When the cat's away, the mice will play..

While Britney Spears is in NYC, KFed and his lookalike friends are out and ready to party. Damn, they look like extras for King of the Hill.

Afternoon Crumbs

Ruben Studdard and his hos [Crunk + Disorderly]

Kate Moss' new crackhead boyfriend [WOW Reporter]

John Stamos is the most used penis in Hollywood [IDLYITW]

The magic of a Harley gathering [Cityrag]

Everyone hates Brandon Davis [Egotastic!]

Mayor Bloomberg gets hard for Scarlett [Hollywood Tuna]

Keira Knightley gets silky [Just Jared]

Rosie O still thinks Tom Cruise is dreamy [Hollywood Rag]

Christina Ricci in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

Brett Ratner wants Blohan nude [A Socialite's Life]

Who is America's Next Top Nobody?!

Last night was the season finale of America's Next Top Who Cares. Thankfully, this terrible season has come to a close.


More after the jump!


In a seriously surprising move, Tyra Banks and clan awarded Danielle with the top prize. Everyone didn't see this coming since earlier in the episode Tyra basically told D that she was a ghetto bitch and couldn't speak worth shit. Joanie also was confident and looked as smug as shit when they were about to announce the winner.

I am happy this ho one, she was truly deserving! Let's hope she actually models and doesn't get stuck in some shit-hole movie or TV show.

And Miss Jay looked hot in that Thai outfit!

How Much are Pictures of Jesus Pitt Worth?

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have reportedly have already sold the rights to pictures of their first born. An unnamed U.S. Magazine (I hear it's OK!) has apparently paid $5 Million for the rights with every single penny going to UNICEF.

A source said: "Angelina's very private but they figured they might as well use the opportunity of one child being born to help a lot of others."

Let's totally fuck their shit up and get our asses over to Namibia to get the pictures first and then like post it on our MySpaces. Actually, I don't need malaria, so fuck that.

[Sky]

Mimi's Hot Legs!

Mimi's seen here leaving some restaurant in NYC last night. Who just stops and poses like that for basically no reason. She is so weird, but so hot. And what's this with her linked to some mafia case?!

The Real Reason Behind Brandon's Word Vomit?

About a week ago, Lindsay Blohan was seen at a club getting freaky with Paris Hilton's ex, Nachos. This may be the reason that Brandon Davis decided to humiliate himself. He was defending that piece of trash, Paris.

What was Blohan doing the night that Brandon and Paris went off? She was getting freaky and making out again with Nachos. Some say it's revenge.

Dlisted reader Alexis, spotted the pair at a concert last night:

Last night was at Webster Hall to see Elefant and at the end of the show (we were watching from the upstairs/VIP area) I looked over to see Stavros Niarchos with some long haired friends and then look over again to see Ho Han with some of her girls. She def looked so pretty and they all piled into the back dressing room which is the size of a closet and just had some free beers and veggies and dip- good times. Probably after realizing it was a closet they were hanging with the peons in the regular VIP/upstairs area. They were standing near each other but not really talking- like it was the two of them with just a swarm of their friends cluster fucked around them. And then suddenly like a bee swarm they all bounced.

Unfortunately, Alexis did not see any rail blowing or making out...but she said they were definitely together.

And with that, I am officially done with this whole shit. Unless, Brandon Davis jumps to his death over guilt or Paris cuts Blohan with her dried weave ends...I am mum on this subject.

Here's some pics of Blo looking much hotter at Maxim's Hot 100 party. Still high tho.





[National Ledger]

Attack of the Clones!

[Thx Stacy & Anna]

Video of Pete Doherty and the Syringe Incident

Here's a poor quality video of Pete Doherty and Babyshambles in that infamous interview with MTV. As you all know, Pete squirts a syringe full of his own blood at the cameras. What's more surprising is that someone just wipes it off like nothing. Shit, I would've had to throw that camera in a pool of acid!

There's a better version on MTV's Overdrive

[Thx Josh]

Heather Mills Could Be $400 Million Richer

Paul McCartney issued this statement about his separation to Heather Mills:

"“It'’s been suggested that she married me for the money and there is not an ounce of truth in this."

Whether or not that statement is true...Heather could walk away with a quarter of Paul's £825 Million fortune. That means she could stand to make about $400 Million US.

When they were married back in 2002, no pre-nup was signed. That idiot!

I won't make anymore jokes about her fake leg, I promise! However, here's a joke that I did NOT come up with:

Harry was going about his goldmining job when there was a terrible accident and the mine caved in. He came round in hospital to find he's had his leg cut off to get him free from the ruins.

Harry was distraught. "I'll never work again he said!"

"No" reassured his pal Ernie. "You'll get work"

"But who would want a one-legged golddigger?" he asked

"Paul mcCartney!"

[Spotlighting News] [Thx Stacy & Emma]

Paris Hilton Speaks...Sort Of!

Paris Hilton's spokesbitches spoke out about the tape on TMZ which showed Brandon Davis making several stupid and rude comments about Lindsay Blohan. The tape also shows Paris Hilton laughing like a slutty hyena at each dumb joke. Here's the statement that was released.

"The only thing I want to underscore is the person making the statements was not Paris Hilton," he says, "It is unfair to characterize Brandon's statements as being reflective of Paris' feelings about Lindsay. We're dealing with two different people. It was Brandon who was speaking, of course there are moments when Paris was laughing, but she never said anything. Brandon was speaking for himself not for her. Personally," he adds, "I found the incident unnecessary."

As for Paris egging Brandon on and holding up her cell phone, Mintz says: "Paris uses her cell phone as a defensive tool. Many times when you see her photographed in a crowd situation, she puts it up to her ear so she doesn't have to speak. In the cacophony and din of screaming, nobody could have had a telephone conversation. Reporters were asking her questions about Lindsay that she did not want to answer, so she put her cell phone up to her ear. Brandon was not speaking for Paris. Period."

If that isn't a lame response...I don't know what is! A more believable response would've been: "Paris Hilton is mentally retarded."



[Defamer]

Britney Wears Really Hot and Expensive Looking Clothes!

Keep the Dark, Nicky!

Nicole Kidman is sporting hot brown hair for a new movie she's doing. She's filming an untitled Noah Baumbach project in New York. I must say that she needs to keep this hair, even if its a wig. That old lady white hair doesn't do shit for her. She looks ten years younger with this new do and needs to keep it!

Coco is in My Heart!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS HO WEARING?!

I mean...where do even buy this shit? Where do I even start? Coco wore some atrocious get-up to Maxim's Hot 100 Party. Come on now....she used to be a hooker right? And Ice-T is her pimp? I know strippers that would even blush at wearing this trash.

On that note, Coco is a gorgeous creature full of class and promise. She has earned a place in my heart!

American Idol: And Then There Were 2!

I didn't catch last night's episode of American Idol, because I was too busy watching two buffoons win The Amazing Race. Again, it was no shock as to whom went home...


More after the jump!



It was Elliott! Poor thing. I really wanted that idiot Taylor Hicks to get the heave ho, but that's just wishful thinking. I think Ryan was sad as well.




What's Paula whispering in his ear? Ewww, that bracelet is tacky.



People that watched the show tell me that Katharine and her parents did not handle the news very well. Apparently, they showed too much excitement...like rubbing it in Elliot's face. Don't worry, Katharine won't win and she'll be doing dinner theater in Tulsa in about 2 years time.



They should've just crowned Taylor last night...why do they have to drag this mess out even more?!

It's Upfront Week: The CW

The CW is the last of the networks to present their inaugural season. The CW is a new network formed from UPN and WB. Because of that, each network had to let go of a bunch of shows. UPN let go of Cuts, Eve, Get This Party Started, Half & Half, Love Inc., One on One, Sex Love and Secrets and South Beach. The WB got rid of The Bedford Diaries, Blue Collar TV, Charmed, Everwood, Just Legal, Living with Fran, Modern Men, Pepper Dennis, Related, Survival of the Richest, Twins and What I Like About You.

In a surprising move, The CW picked up 7th Heaven even though a finale aired. Some other returning shows are Gilmore Girls, Smallville, Beauty and the Geek, One Tree Hill, Supernatural, All of Us, America's Next Top Model, Girlfriends and Everybody Hates Chris.

The new shows are:

"Runaway," from Sony Pictures Television, revolves around a family that becomes fugitives in order to prove the innocence of their patriarch (Donnie Wahlberg) - who's convicted of murder. Dustin Milligan ("The Days"), Karen LeBlanc ("Kevin Hill"), Leslie Hope ("Commander in Chief"), Nathan Gamble, Sarah Ramos ("American Dreams") and Susan Floyd ("Law & Order") also star in the hour, which comes from creator Chad Hodge and executive producers Darren Star and Ed Zuckerman.

"Palm Springs," from Lionsgate Television, is a coming-of-age drama about a troubled teen ("The O.C.'s" Taylor Handley) who moves to a gated community, where he uncovers some dark secrets. Amber Heard ("Alpha Dog"), Cheryl White ("The Book of Daniel"), D.W. Moffett ("The Book of Daniel"), Ellary Porterfield ("The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio"), Gail O'Grady ("Hot Properties"), Michael Cassidy ("The O.C.") and Sharon Lawrence ("Desperate Housewives") star.

"The Game" is about a group of women in various stages of relationships with pro football players. Aldis Hodge ("Numb3rs"), Coby Bell ("Third Watch"), Hosea Chanchez ("Everwood"), Jennifer Baxter ("Dark Water"), Tia Mowry ("Love, Inc.") and Wendy Raquel Robinson ("All of Us") all star in the half-hour, which comes from executive producers Dan Dugan, Kelsey Grammer, Mara Brock Akil and Steve Stark

[The Futon Critic] [Thx Stacy]

The Dlisted Report

Kirsten Dunst will reunite with director Michael Gondy (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) on Be Kind Rewind. Jack Black also stars. The story, by Gondry, follows a junkyard worker (Black) who attempts to sabotage a power plant that he believes is melting his brain. But his plan goes awry and the magnetic field he creates erases all of the videotapes in the local video store where his best friend works. Fearing that the mishap will cost his friend his job, the two team to keep the store's only loyal customer -- a little old lady with a tenuous grasp on reality -- from realizing what has happened by re-creating and refilming every movie that she decides to rent. Shooting begins in late September. [THR]

Vin Diesel will star in the action film Black Water Transit. Shooting starts this July in Chicago and already stars James Franco, Kevin Bacon and Sophie Okenedo. [THR]

Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor and Tom Wilkinson will star in Woody Allen's 2006 Summer project shooting in London. The film is the tale of two brothers with serious financial woes. When a third party proposes they turn to crime, things go bad and the two become enemies. A female lead has yet to be cast. [Production Weekly]

Lindsay Lohan will join Aaron Eckart and Elizabeth Banks in Bill. The film, which is in production, follows Eckhart as a man going through a mid-life crisis whose wife has a fling with a local newscaster that's broadcast over the Internet. [Variety]

It's Upfront Week: FOX

Fox will announce today their new shows for fall and their new schedule. They have already cancelled Arrested Development, The Bernie Mac Show, Free Ride, Head Cases, Killer Instinct, Malcom in the Middle, Nanny 911, Reunion and That 70's Show. Their new shows will feature stars like Victor Garber, Kerr Smith, Ron Livingston, Brad Garrett, Joely Fisher, Gale Harold, Rebecca Gayheart, Ming-Na and Eva Pigford.

Here's the rundown:

VANISHED (Mondays, 9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT): SARA (Joanne Kelly, "Whiskey Echo") is the beautiful young wife of prominent Georgia Senator JEFFREY COLLINS (John Allen Nelson, "24"), and she has gone missing. But before the FBI can solve the mystery of where she is, they first need to figure out who she really is. Through the eyes of Senior FBI Agent GRAHAM KELTON (Gale Harold, "Queer as Folk," "Martha Behind Bars"), ambitious reporter JUDY NASH (Rebecca Gayheart, "Nip/Tuck," "Harvard Man") and the distraught members of the Collins family, viewers will journey inside a sensational, mysterious national soap opera. Kelton, working with Agent LIN MEI (Ming-Na, "ER"), uncovers enigmatic clues that suggest Sara's disappearance may be part of a large, sinister conspiracy.

STANDOFF (Tuesdays, 8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT - in fall): There's no crisis situation they can't handle ... unless it involves each other. MATT FLANNERY (Ron Livingston, "Sex and the City," "House") and EMILY LEHMAN (Rosemarie DeWitt, "Cinderella Man") are the top-ranked negotiators in the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit (CNU). They're trained to talk their way through volatile situations. They're experts at knowing what makes other people tick. They're also sleeping together a secret that they agreed to keep to themselves, until Matt reveals it to the entire world during a tense hostage standoff. The public revelation causes friction between Matt, who relies on gut instinct, and Emily, an academic who analyzes every move. Their relationship also gets them into major trouble with their boss CHERYL CARRERA (Gina Torres, "Alias," "Firefly," "24"), head of the Los Angeles CNU, and raises eyebrows among their CNU colleagues, including intelligence officer LIA MATHERS (Raquel Alessi, "Ghost Rider"). While Matt and Emily really should be split up for being romantically involved, they're too valuable as a team. STANDOFF combines the relationship banter of audience favorites like "Moonlighting" with the adrenaline-paced suspense of hits like "24." The series advances a fundamental idea: that in life and in love, "Everything is a negotiation."

JUSTICE (Wednesdays, 9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT - in fall): From Jerry Bruckheimer, executive producer of "CSI" and "Without a Trace," comes JUSTICE, an unflinching, behind-the-scenes look at the way high-profile cases are tried in the media age. JUSTICE features a dream team of four lawyers from disparate backgrounds who join forces to tackle the most controversial and newsworthy cases. With their unique skill sets and the power of forensic law, this formidable team becomes indispensable to the law firm of Turk, Nicholson, Tuller & Gaines. RON TURK (Victor Garber, "Alias," "Titanic") is the face seen on every media talk show in the country - and he wants it that way. He's great at landing a client, spinning a case and getting his way, but juries hate him. Standing behind Ron - as far away from the cameras as possible - is TOM NICHOLSON (Kerr Smith, "Charmed"), the heart of the firm. Tom is a brilliant litigator whose Everyman, earnest manner makes him Ron's alter ego. LUTHER GAINES (Eamonn Walker, "Oz"), famous in the African-American community, is well-connected, politically motivated and in possession of an uncanny ability to take a step back and assess the merits of a case from both the prosecution's and the defense's perspectives. ALDEN TULLER (Rebecca Mader, "The Devil Wears Prada") is a young, ambitious and brilliant clinician who approaches each case analytically, uncovering ways to destroy expert witnesses on cross-examination.

THE WEDDING ALBUM (Fridays, 9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT): From executive producers Andy Tennant and Wink Mordaunt ("Hitch," "Sweet Home Alabama," "Ever After") comes a series that captures the ups and downs of tying the knot through the eyes of the second-most important man in the room - the wedding photographer. TONY ZUTTO (Bruno Campos, "Nip/Tuck," "ER") is the guy everyone wants to capture their big day. But just because he's working every high-profile ceremony in town doesn't mean he'll be walking down the aisle himself anytime soon. Tony's near-celebrity status on the marriage circuit - combined with his own less-than-stellar family history - has turned him into a serial bachelor and consummate playboy ... at least until Tony hires new assistant MILLA CAVENDISH (Tara Summers, "Alfie"), a feisty and alluring young Brit. Unlike the carefree encounters Tony's had with his share of bridesmaids over the years, Milla and her comrades-in-arms, sassy roommate GRETCHEN (Eva Pigford, "America's Top Model") and photo lab tech BRUNO (Jayce Bartok, "Law & Order"), will keep Tony on his toes. Also keeping his wild ways in check are PETER (Ptolemy Slocum, "Hitch"), Tony's strait-laced half-brother and a minister to boot; Tony's gregarious father DANNY (Tony Lo Bianco, "Law & Order"), who is always ready to dispense a helping of advice along with the liquor he serves at his neighborhood bar; and GWEN (Ashlie Atkinson, "Rescue Me"), Tony's take-charge office manager. From the tempestuous rehearsal dinners and unorthodox ceremonies to the wild aftermaths and poignant family disasters, THE WEDDING ALBUM proves that things are definitely more interesting when every day at the "office" is the most important day of someone else's life.

'TIL DEATH (Thursdays, 8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT): 'TIL DEATH is a comedy about middle-aged EDDIE (Brad Garrett, "Everybody Loves Raymond") and JOY STAMM (Joely Fisher, "Desperate Housewives"), who are on day 8,743 of their marriage and have the battle scars to prove it. Their new next-door neighbors are young newlyweds STEPH (Kat Foster, "Law & Order") and JEFF WOODCOCK (Eddie Kaye Thomas, "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle") - idealistic, passionate, adorable and married for all of 12 days. It's a show about new marriage versus old marriage, about keeping the romance alive - or at least staying together so you have someone to drive you to the hospital for your operations. Eddie is a cynical realist who considers himself an expert on most topics. A high school history teacher, he's learned well the lessons of history and applies the basic principles to his marriage: all fights are about power, land and resources - and women love to kill fun. A veteran of the marriage wars, Eddie freely gives his advice to the younger, idealistic Jeff, who's the new Vice Principal at Eddie's school. Of course, Eddie's little secret all along is that he loves Joy more than anything. And however brash and sardonic Joy herself appears, she loves Eddie right back.

HAPPY HOUR (Thursdays, 8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT): Straight arrow HENRY BECKMAN (John Sloan, "The OH in Ohio") had it all: a great job, a perfect girlfriend and a sweet apartment. He was a big fish in the small pond of Amsterdam, Missouri. And then he let HEATHER (Brooke D'Orsay, "King's Ransom") talk him into moving to Chicago to work in her family business, where it all went wrong. In the space of one morning, Henry gets dumped by Heather, learns he can no longer work for Heather's uncle, and gets kicked out of their apartment. It's in this vulnerable state that he meets his new roommate, a vain, flashy, loveable rogue named LARRY CONE (Lex Medlin, "Still Standing"). Larry is a modern-day Dean Martin who is looking for a new protg to teach the wisdom of staying single and enjoying the good life. Larry's last roommate and best friend, BRAD (Nat Faxon, "Joey"), has gotten engaged to the shrew TINA (Jamie Denbo, "Must Love Dogs"), a cold and controlling fiance who's immune to Larry's considerable charm. Under Larry's tutelage, Henry begins to rebuild his life and goes to work for Larry's childhood friend AMANDA (Beth Lacke, "The Rest of Your Life"), a beautiful mess who's unsuccessfully trying to emulate her perfect ideal of womanhood, Kelly Ripa. Will Henry manage to hold onto his traditional values and remain a hopeless romantic? Or will Larry indeed "build a better Brad"?

THE WINNER (Day and Time TBD): A 43-and-a-half-year-old narrator, who is incredibly rich and successful, looks way back to 1994, when he lost his innocence and started to become a man - at the tender age of 32. In 1994, GLEN ABBOTT (Rob Corddry, "The Daily Show"), still living with his parents, finally steps out into the world and tries to make something of himself when the only girl he'd ever kissed, the radiant ALISON MILLER (Erinn Hayes, "Everwood," "Kitchen Confidential"), returns to town. Driven by the desire to become a success and win Alison's heart, Glen goes through his "wonder years" a mere 20 years older than, well, most everyone. But it's not in vain, as this unlikely underdog will eventually transform from fear-riddled underachiever to the richest man in Buffalo in a mere five years. Luckily, Glen doesn't have to go though this awkward period alone. He becomes best friends with the only person he can truly relate to: Alison's 13-year-old son JOSH (Keir Gilchrist, "A Lobster Tale"). Josh is a fellow hypochondriac, and they help each other survive "puberty." Glen also receives parental guidance from his absurdly enabling mother IRENE (Julie Hagerty, "Girlfriends," "Malcolm in the Middle") and his supportive but quasi-rage-aholic dad RON (Lenny Clarke, "Rescue Me," "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events").

DUETS (Thursday and Friday in September, Time TBD): DUETS, from Simon Cowell, pairs established singing stars with celebrities outside the music industry to make beautiful music together by competing as duos for charity. The show will follow the professional singers as they instruct their partners, choose songs and perform duets in front of a panel of judges and a live studio audience. After each episode, viewers will vote for their favorite duets. The winning pair will emerge from the competition in perfect harmony, while the losers definitely will have to change their tune.

ON THE LOT (Day and Time TBD): Aspiring director/filmmakers from across the country will vie for the opportunity of a lifetime when Mark Burnett, Steven Spielberg, DreamWorks Television and FOX join forces on this exciting new unscripted series. Ultimately, one filmmaker will rise above the rest and will be rewarded with a studio development deal, ON THE LOT at DreamWorks. A group of 16 undiscovered talents will be brought to Hollywood and divided into several teams. Every week, each team will produce a short film in an assigned genre, running the gamut from comedies to thrillers, personal dramas to romance, sci-fi to horror. With one member selected as the director and other members helping produce, they'll have access to the best resources the industry has to offer. But with the clock ticking, and other teams working with the same genre or premise, they'll all need to match their vision with decisiveness, execution and flexibility. The competition will air on two nights weekly. The films will be shown and critiqued in front of a live audience during the one-hour "Film Premiere" episode. The judging panel will include a motion picture executive, a film critic and well-respected guest judges. But the filmmakers also will be subjected to perhaps the harshest judge of all the public. It will be FOX viewers whose votes ultimately determine which film should be left on the cutting room floor. On the half-hour "Box Office" results show, the director of the losing feature will be sent home, leaving that team with fewer contestants to help produce the next week's film. As the competition continues and more directors are eliminated, the remaining filmmakers will have to work individually, creating a new film every week until only the most talented individual is anointed the winner, whisked away to the DreamWorks studio, met by Steven Spielberg and shown to his or her new office ON THE LOT.

Visit Coming Soon to see the entire line-up

The CAPTION THIS VIDEO Contest WINNER!

You think that's gross? Wait till you see what comes out the OTHER end! - Drew

RUNNER-UP:

Is it just me,that video made me hungry for an omelette!! - El Bastardo

Hot Slut of the Day!

Alexis Arquette

Birthday Sluts

Chow Yun-Fat (51)
Jack Johnson (31)
Tina Fey (36)
Martika (37)
George Strait (54)
Reggie Jackson (60)

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

Elijah Wood

Then and Now (Yesterday at Cannes)

This is the New Face of Lancome

According to R&M, Clive Owen is the new face of Lancome and is receiving a $4 Million paycheck for this honor. No details on what products he will endorse, however I'm guessing he will be the new face of Miracle Men.

However, if they are using him for the women's line...I'm thinking that their crystal amethyst lipstick will look fabulous on him!

What in Slash's Name Happened to Axl Rose?!

Is he wearing white make-up? If not...ho needs a mystic!

Who Will Be America's Next Top Model?

Tonight is the season finale of America's Next Top Model. What has been a lackluster season will end with Joanie, Danielle and Jade battling it out for the title. Word on the street is that the white girl takes it. However, I can't stand her ass. I love me some Jade, but Danielle (center) is the prettiest and deserves to win.

Let's hope they wise up for next season and cast some chicks that could actually be models. Wishful thinking I guess.

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Eva Herzigova is wearing some tacky-ass dress to the premiere of The Da Vinci Crap at Cannes. It's one thing to wanna show your snatch, but she's not even trying to show it! She's wearing some nasty nylon thing underneath. Not sexy.

SPF Lives!

Britney Spears and SPF are currently in NYC. Britney showed off an extremely fat SPF as she headed into her hotel. She went solo today on a shopping trip. Is he sleeping or is he dead? I wouldn't doubt it, the way she treats him. Ewww, that creeped me out. The thought of her carrying around a dead baby.

Anyway, he's still cute as hell...but fat. He'll lose it.

Afternoon Crumbs

Nicole Richie gets dumped again [Smart]

The 25 Un-Sexiest Women in the World [College Humor]

Blohan's fighting with everyone [Egotastic!]

Katie Holmes needs a nap [Glitterati]

The new Bachelor is like stuck in 1987 [Just Jared]

Janice Dickinson calls Britney a hick [Popsugar]

The Simpson sisters are at war [Popbytes]

Blohan's in love with her breasts [Hollywood Tuna]

The Da Vinci Code's bad reviews [IDLYITW]

Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman do some press [Hollywood Rag]

Nude celebrity fan drawings [Drunken Stepfather]

Gin or Water?

Michelle Rodriguez sucks down a clear liquid in Bev Hills with a gal pal. You know she totally poured gin in a water bottle. If it is gin, it ain't BeefEater that's for sure. Is there a FishEater brand?





[Thx Kate]

American Idol: Why Can't Katharine Stand Up?!

The performance of the night everybody is creaming over is Katharine McPhee's Somewhere Over the Rainbow which was chosen by Simon. I personally felt it was just alright. She belongs on Broadway, it's true. But why can't she stand up? This is the second performance that she does on her knees and ass. I know she has fat thighs, but damn! Stand up lazy.



Taylor Hicks butchered Dancing in the Dark. Paula Abdul filled in for Courtney Cox by looking even more retarded than Taylor.

Did anyone notice how Simon was grabbing at Paula's vagina?



It's pretty clear who is going to win this thing. Taylor pretty much has it in the bag.



Katharine and her breasts can't wait for the finals next week!



Yup, that means poor Elliott Yamin and his face for radio are going off tonight. That's my guess. He's seriously my favorite, but he's packing his shit. Unfortunately, I won't be able to watch it since my DVR can only record two shows at once being the Amazing Race finale and Lost.



[Vid: BWE]

Brandon Davis Loves Fire Crotch

TMZ has a video of Brandon Davis and Paris Hilton leaving clubs and talking shit about Lindsay Lohan. Davis makes several remarks about her ass and Paris could do nothing but giggle. He makes a racist comment about her ex, Wilmer Valderrama by saying: "Is he in a mariachi band?"

He also said: "I think she's worth about seven million (dollars), which means she's really poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel."

He goes on to say her vagina smells like diarrhea, is stinky and freckly and that her clitoris is seven feet long. He also calls her a fire crotch repeatedly.

These bitches are so fucking dumb. Brandon doesn't even work! He lives off his parent's money and is seriously fat and sick. Paris is even a dumber bitch, because you know she sucks that shit.

Watch it!

The Real of Actress of The O.C. to be Killed Off

The O.C.'s season finale is this Thursday. Previews for the show promise that one of the main characters will be killed off. Producers have apparently chosen their victim and it seems to be Mischa Barton. Mischa has expressed interest in leaving the show to pursue a film career.

In order to keep it a secret, several endings have been filmed with each main character dying. Mischa's character is said to die from a drug overdose.

How will the show go on without the powerful acting stylings of Mischa Barton? I'm not sure how the other characters are going to survive without her guidance and knowledge of the craft.

And that picture above is priceless.....



[Teen TV]

Alanis Morissette's Breast Anger!

Alanis Morissette was such a lesbian tomboy growing up that when she started to grow breasts, she became very upset. She really wanted to grow a penis instead.

She said: "Looking back, it was quite hard, because there's no greater indicator that you can't just hang out with boys for the rest of your life than when you grow breasts." "

I was angry about it. It all exploded in a torrent of femininity as a teenager."

Shit, she should be more upset when her teeth began to grow that big. Damn, her grill is huge!

I'll steal her man any day!

[Post Chronicle]

Jello Cancels Tour

There are currently rumors that Jello is pregnant with the seed of the corpse groom. She has abruptly cancelled plans to tour to Bombay, Dubai, Moscow, Sofia, Bulgaria, Istanbul, and Thessaloniki in Greece. Promoters are threatening to sue since she gave them no reason and no warning. They must issue full refunds to ticket holders.

This development fuels speculation that she's knocked up. Her people and other sources continue to deny it.

Did anyone think that maybe she cancelled the tour, because she realized that she can't sing and she's not very good at lip-syncing? Notice how she didn't plan any US dates. Please, she's not pregnant. You have to have sex in order to get pregnant!

[Irish Examiner] [Thx Stacy]

Rihanna Wants Beyonce's Man!

Rihanna is Jay-Z's newest artist and she's also climbing up the charts with her sophmore album. Sources say that the singer and her mentor are becoming extremely close, too close for Beyonce.

Rumors are beginning to circulate that Rihanna is becoming uncomfortably close to her mentor Jay Z. And that closeness reportedly bothers Jay Z's longtime girlfriend Beyonce. As one entertainment insider tells us, "Rihanna is desperately trying to steal Beyonce's look, her style, and even her sound ... I wouldn't be surprised if now she's trying to steal Beyonce's man."

At a recent NJ Nets game, Beyonce's frustration boiled over. According to a fan seated near the couple, Beyonce lost her cool when Jay Z received a 15 minute telephone call from Rihanna. Beyonce reportedly yelled out "why do you keep talking to her" and stormed out of the arena before Jay Z had a chance to explain.

And in a MediaTakeOut.com exclusive, we have learned that Beyonce may truly have something to worry about. Last month, while Beyonce was in Los Angeles accepting a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, Jay Z was reportedly in New York City wining and dining Rihanna. While the two did attend a series of business meetings, they also had dinner for two at Cipriani's and later that evening the pair was spotted entering one of the private rooms at Jay Z's 40/40 club. Our spy tells us that Jay Z and the young singer were all alone in the screened off room for more than four hours.

We contacted one of Jay Z's representatives who admitted that the Jigga Man and Rihanna have been spending a lot of time together. But the rep vehemently denied that anything is going one between the two. According to the rep, "it takes a lot to groom an artist and Jay's just putting in the work."

Please, this ho is old enough to be Beyonce's daughter. Well, she looks like it anyway because B looks hella old. Jay-Z wouldn't do that to B, they are like hip-hop royalty and I'm sure he wants to keep it that way. Rihanna is kinda hot though.

[MediaTakeOut]

A Virgins Plea is a Fraud!

That dumb ass who started a website has come clean that this whole shit was fraud. He issued this statement on the website:

Over the past few days, people have raised several questions about the website avirginsplea.com. I feel it is both my moral and ethical obligation at this point to spare my friend Geoff from any further personal embarrassment.

The site was a viral marketing experiment that got far too out of hand. Geoff was nothing more than a name and a photo - the story and website were created by me and all media interviews were performed by myself.

I apologize to the people of Toronto and everyone from around the world who saw our site. We did not expect this idea to go so far, and the real connections so many of the visitors to the site made to "Geoff's" story has made this experience especially difficult.

Matthew

I knew it! Actually, I fell for it. Damn I'm gullible.

[Thx to all who sent this to me]

Dave Navarro's Not Gay!

Carmen Electra may have a main gay in husband, Dave Navarro.

Just kidding. Dave recently confessed that he's had experiences with other dudes, but doesn't consider himself gay at all.

He said: "I've come to realize through my experimentation over the years that I'm not gay, nor am I bisexual. I've never been aroused by a man, but I've been in situations where I could potentially be aroused."

He did say that if he had to pick a man he was attracted to, it'd be Johnny Depp.

I wonder what kind of experiences he's had? He totally let a dude fuck him, I know it. He has an ass for it.

[Starpulse]

Bo Derek is Hot Shit

Here's Bo Derek at Upfronts for the MyNetWork in NYC. She's a far cry from her "Ten" days but still looks hot.

Sadie Frost Looking Toasted

Damn! Kate Moss looks happy that her friend looks fuglier than she does. She spiked her ass.

[ONTD]

He's Even Gayer Than That Neon Man!

Matthew McConaGay walks his dog "Foxy"...yes "Foxy" in Atlanta.

Paul & Heather: Their Love Was Too Strong For This World!

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' fairy tale love affair has come to an end. The two have been married four years and issued this statement:

"Having tried exceptionally hard to make our relationship work given the daily pressures surrounding us, it is with sadness that we have decided to go our separate ways,"

"Our parting is amicable and both of us still care about each other very much but have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives, and we have actively tried to protect the privacy of our child,"

"Separation for any couple is difficult enough, but to have to go through this so publicly, especially with a small daughter, is immensely stressful. We hope, for the sake of our baby daughter, that we will be given some space and time to get through this difficult period."

Oh well. Another one bites a dust.

Hopefully, she'll hop away with half of everything.

[People]

Xtina VS Mimi: It's On!

Looks like we have a sequel to Alien VS Predator y'all!

Xtina and Mimi are in a battle of words over some things Xtina said in her GQ interview.

Xtina on Mimi:

"She was never cool to me. To the point that one time we were at a party and I think she got really drunk, and she had just really derogatory things to say to me in front of [Aguilera trails off] . . . But it was at that time that she had that breakdown, so she might have been very medicated."

Mimi responds:

"I had hoped that Christina was in a better place now than the last time I saw her, when she showed up uninvited at one of my parties and displayed questionable behavior. It is sad yet predictable that she would use my name to reinvent past incidents for her promotional gain. It is in my heart to forgive, and I will keep her in my prayers."

Xtina again:

"At this point in my life. I do not want bad energy with anyone. My intentions were not to upset Mariah. I have all the respect in the world for her."

They call this a catfight?! Shit this ain't nothing. Besides, those bitches can't fight. The only thing they are good for is howling into a mic and putting on tons of rouge. And they aren't even good at that.

But I have to say...if I had to choose...TEAM MIMI!!!!

[Page Six]

It's Upfront Week: CBS

CBS is the most successful network on television. They are returning this Fall with only 4 new shows. Why so little? Because 18 of their past shows are returning for a new season. Impressively, 6 of their Fall shows from last year have been given a second season. The CBS Sunday Movie, Courting Alex and Out of Practice have been cancelled. Here's a rundown of the 4 new shows:

THE CLASS (Monday, 8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT), from Emmy Award winner David Crane ("Friends") and Emmy Award nominee Jeffrey Klarik ("Mad About You"), is a comedy about the lives of a group of 20-somethings who are inextricably bound together having shared the same third grade class. Now face to face at an impromptu reunion to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the day they met, they wonder if they'll have anything in common besides vague memories of playground kisses and underwear sightings on the monkey bars. Turns out they do. After two decades apart for most of them, some are eager to show off, some want to rekindle old crushes and others just want to satisfy their curiosity. Whatever the case, their lives will intersect from this point forward, sharing childhood memories and dealing with adult issues -- career, relationships and the general direction or misdirection life will take them. Jason Ritter ("Joan of Arcadia"), Heather Goldenhersh ("The Merchant of Venice"), Lizzy Caplan ("Related"), Jon Bernthal ("Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman"), Sean Maguire ("Eve"), Jesse Tyler Ferguson ("Putnam County Spelling Bee"), Lucy Punch ("Ella Enchanted") and Andrea Anders ("Joey") also star.

SMITH (Tuesday, 10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) stars Emmy Award winner Ray Liotta ("ER," "Goodfellas,") as a criminal mastermind in a drama about a close-knit crew of career criminals who plot and execute intricate and ingenious high-stakes heists across the country. Though Bobby Stevens (Liotta) appears to be a regular family man with a nine-to-five job, he's actually an expert thief who is seeking just two or three more big jobs so he can finally leave the business for a comfortable, lawful lifestyle with his wife, Hope (Academy Award nominee Virginia Madsen, "Sideways"). Bobby's second family, his core band of partners, each bring their own areas of expertise to pulling off the biggest and most sophisticated armed robberies. The FBI is determined to catch the team but is most interested in capturing "Smith," the crew's mysterious leader and the brains behind the entire operation. It remains to be seen whether Bobby will be able to extricate himself in time from the scores that give him such a rush, or if his retirement will be a forced one -- behind bars. Jonny Lee Miller ("Trainspotting"), Franky G ("Saw II"), Simon Baker ("The Guardian") and Amy Smart ("Felicity") also star

JERICHO (Wednesday, 8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) is a drama about what happens when a nuclear mushroom cloud suddenly appears on the horizon, plunging the residents of a small, peaceful Kansas town into chaos, leaving them completely isolated and wondering if they're the only Americans left alive. Fear of the unknown propels Jericho into social, psychological and physical mayhem when all communication and power is shut down. The town starts to come apart at the seams as terror, anger and confusion bring out the very worst in some residents. But in this time of crisis, as sensible people become paranoid, personal agendas take over and well-kept secrets threaten to be revealed, some people will find an inner strength they never knew they had and the most unlikely heroes will emerge. Skeet Ulrich ("Scream"), Gerald McRaney ("Ike: Countdown to D-Day"), Ashley Scott ("Dark Angel"), Pamela Reed ("Proof of Life"), Kenneth Mitchell ("The Recruit"), Lennie James ("Sahara"), Sprague Grayden ("Six Feet Under"), Michael Gaston ("Prison Break") and Erik Knudsen ("Saw II") star.

SHARK (Thursday, 10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) stars multiple Academy Award nominee and Emmy Award winner James Woods ("Ghosts of Mississippi," "ER") as Sebastian Stark, a charismatic, supremely self-confident defense attorney who, after a shocking outcome in one of his cases and a personal epiphany, brings his cutthroat tactics to the prosecutor's office. As the head of the Los Angeles District Attorney's High Profile Crime Unit, Stark works for Jessica Devlin, (Jeri Ryan, "The O.C."), the ambitious and accomplished D.A. who despises his ruthless strategies. Devlin teams him with a group of young prosecutors who are about to have the learning experience of a lifetime because, though Stark is seeking to redeem himself, he has no intention of cooling his underhanded approach to cases just because he's now working for the "good guys." Sam Page ("American Dreams"), Alexis Cruz ("American Family"), Sarah Carter ("Numb3rs"), Danielle Panabaker ("Mom at Sixteen"), Romy Rosemont ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") and Sophina Brown ("Without a Trace") also star.

Visit Coming Soon for a complete rundown of their Fall season

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

even the smell of rotting flesh couldn't keep brad pitt away from angelina's hypnotic vagina... - Teddy B

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lil - Founder of Coyote Ugly

[For SeanD]

Birthday Sluts

Trent Reznor (41)
Cameron Bancroft (39)
Andrea Corr (31)
Jordan Knight (36)
Thom Filicia (37)
Craig Ferguson (44)
Enya (45)
Sugar Ray Leonard (50)
Bob Saget (50)
Bill Paxton (51)
Dennis Hopper (70)

Ellen Pompeo Quote of the Day!

on her work on Grey's Anatomy:

"You know, I don't really have much of a say. I just show up and say my lines. There's no collaboration on the characters and the writing. This is a 9-to-5 job. I have to show up and say what they write. "

[Buffalo News]

A Virgins Plea!

Meet 25-year-old Geoff from Toronto. He is a virgin and needs the world's help to finally get some. He has made a bet with one his good female friends that if his website gets 5 Million hits in 30 days, she'll sleep with him.

So visit his site where he tells his story and answers you questions. He does need our help. Personally, I think he just has to call Tara Reid and she'll hook him up.

[A Virgins Plea] [Thanks Vicky]

Mena Suvari's Boyfriend is Fug!

Mena Suvari is seriously one of my favorites. I've had a crush on her for like forever. She's that girl in school that I would try to get with, but was too gay for. However, I will not eat the cat for her. Anyway, here she is with her boyfriend spending HER dough on Robertson. I guess he's her own personal KFed.

Leave Fashion Out of It!

The Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen brawl of the Century has taken yet another turn. Even though, the pair said they were going to work it out...Denise is playing dirty yet again.

She has announced that she will launch her own children's clothing line called Kidtoure. This comes only month after Charlie debuted his Sheen Kidz line. Denise's little daughters have already been seen wearing her t-shirts around town. The line of t-shirts will launch soon in stores like Barneys and Kitson.

They've sunk to an all time low! Leave overpriced t-shirts and fugly jeans out of this!

[Hollywood.com]

Snoop Dogg Banned for Life!?!

Snoop Dogg was involved in an airport brawl at Heathrow last month. This incident has apparently gotten him banned from ever entering the UK again!

The home office has banned him, because of his criminal record here in the U.S. British Airways had already banned the rapper from flying on them.

Officials said that offenders are sometimes admitted into the country under special circumstances. Snoop could stand to lose lots of dough over this.

Damn! They are serious over there. I mean they'll let Pete Doherty drive high, but God forbid if you get into a good old-fashioned airport brawl!

[AllHipHop] [Thx Stacy]

Enter the Nacho Libre Contest!

Hey ya'll!

I normally don't plug contests, but I'm into this shit. Just enter below and you can win a 60 GB video iPod $25 iTunes gift certificate, autographed poster, and limited edition "Nacho Libre" mask and t-shirt! This shit hits theaters June 16th!

Click Here to Enter!








[Nacho Libre]

Babs Streisand is a Cheap Bitch!

Barbra Streisand is worth gazillions of dollars and she's still cheaper than a Hollywood Blvd. hooker. Babs and hubby, James Brolin, recently went to see MI:3 at their local cineplex in Agoura Hills, CA. They apparently refused to pay $20 for their seats and schmoozed their way to free tickets.

Babs used her sexual persuasion (GAG) on the teenager in charge of ticket-taking. She waltzed right up to him and said:

"We asked especially for you. We haven't seen you in a while!"

The young man was a little perplexed but waived them past.

Babs spokeswhore had this to say: "It's a professional courtesy that many theaters extend to film stars."

[Film Fodder]

Where's Jewel?!

I guess she's still around! Here she is leaving TRL yesterday. She looks the same. She still refuses to have that snaggle tooth fixed!

Nicole Kidman is Engaged!

Nicole Kidman confirmed to People Magazine that she is engaged to Keith Urban. At the UNIFEM Gala in NYC, the magazine asked if her date was her boyfriend? She responded with:

"He's actually my fiancee. I wouldn't be bringing my boyfriend."

I wish her a congratulations! Let's hope now that she's happy, she can lay off the botox.

Afternoon Crumbs

Tori Spelling's wedding photos [A Socialite's Life]

Is Jello preggo? [BWE]

The Paris Hilton song [Hollywood Tuna]

Madge is ringless [Glitterati]

Frankie Muniz loves his money [DrunkenStepfather]

Mandy Moore calls Wilmer a liar [Egotastic!]

Adriana Lima slaps her men around [IDLYITW]

What is wrong with JLove's hair? [Hollywood Rag]

Maniston barely made Maxim's Hot List [Just Jared]

Pete Burns spins us round [Popbytes]

Katie's Got Stretch Marks!

They must have called in the best make-up artist in all of Hollywood, because Katie Holmes showed off some stretch marks at a baseball game with Tom Cruise. She made sure to show us her battle scars. Still has that same creepy look on her face, though!

Warning to All Male Jailbirds! Richard Hatch is in the Building!

Original Survivor winner, Richard Hatch, was sentenced this morning to 51-Months in jail for not paying his taxes on his winnings from the hit reality show.

Hatch, 45, was convicted in January. The charges carried a maximum of 13 years in prison.

U.S. District Judge Ernest Torres said he issued a harsher than expected sentence because Hatch had committed perjury repeatedly during his trial.

"It seems unfortunately very clear to me that Mr. Hatch lied," Torres said. When Hatch was convicted, Torres said he expected to sentence him to 33 to 41 months.

"I believe I've been completely truthful and completely forthcoming throughout the entire process," Hatch told the judge before he was sentenced.

Hatch claimed he thought the show's producers would pay his taxes and pleaded ignorance about money matters, saying he forgot to tell his accountants about some income.

For the sake of the other inmates, I hope they put him in his own cell. I would hate to shower next to that mess each morning. He brings new meaning to "Don't drop the soap!"

[Yahoo News] [Thx Jennette]

Vegetarians Have Better Orgasms

PETA spokeswoman and vegetarian, Pamela Anderson, claimed that she has a better orgasm due to not eating meat. She made this claim on National Orgasm Day which was held this past Sunday.

She said: "For your best orgasm ever, go vegetarian." "(Because) meat clogs arteries going not just to your heart but other vital organs, the best sex tip is to go veggie."

I'd rather have a fucking cheeseburger than sex.

[PR Inside]

Jodie Foster is Gangster!

Here is a long and boring video of Jodie Foster speaking at UPenn's graduation ceremony held yesterday. It's all boring talk about the future and shit, but Jodie Foster becomes JFo at the end while she raps Eminem's Lose Yourself to the student body. If you want to nap you can watch the whole thing or fast forward to about 1:50 to see that ho in action! Watch that shit here! You can also listen to the audio of it here.

Look for her single featuring Queen Latifah and Missy Elliott to drop soon.

[Thx Cath]

What Will the American Idols Sing Tonight?

It's down to the Final 3: Taylor Hicks, Katharine McPhee and Elliott Yamin.

This week is Clive Davis and the judges will pick a song for each ho. Here's what they are going to sing:

Taylor Hicks
Clive Davis' Choice: Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen
Randy Jackons's Choice: You are So Beautiful to Me by Joe Cocker

Katharine McPhee
Clive Davis' Choice: I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly
Simon Cowell's Choice: Somewhere Over the Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz

Elliott Yamin
Clive Davis' Choice: Open Arms by Journey
Paula Abdul's Choice: What You Won't Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell

Interesting and disgusting choices. R.Kelly? Ack!

[Thx Stacy]

Unfortunately it's not April Fools Day!

According to film sources, a biopic on the life of Coco Chanel is currently in the works.

The Hollywood film will show Coco from the age of 20 and on as she tries to become a singer before becoming one of the most prolific fashion designers in the World.

And who is tipped to play this woman? Demi Moore apparently.

I guess she kinda looks like her, but is this going to be an erotic thriller version of Coco's life? Because Demi can't act worth shit!

[Entertainmentwise] [Thx Stacy]

Can't We Snort Our Shit in Peace?

Picture it....Hyde nightclub in Los Angeles...

Enter Paris and Nicky Hilton...both looking like trash. From stage right enters Lindsay Blohan looking coked up.

Evil stares ensue. Blohan makes the first move.

The conversation goes something like this:

Blo - Ugh

P - Ewwww

Blo - Yuck

P - Stop using my name to further your career!

Blo - Huh?

P - You dropped my title like you drop acid during your Just My Suck interviews.

Blo - You wish.

P - Keep my really hot name out of your really gross mouth!

Blo - Do you have some coke?

P - Ewwww

However, Paris's rep denies any kind of war of words happened between the two.

“Paris was having a conversation with a couple of friends. Lindsay approached her table and at that moment Paris felt she was being interrupted and didn’t wish to speak to Lindsay.”

“A couple of words were exchanged and Lindsay went back to her table.”

Here's a funny video clip of Paris, Nicky and that super-fug Brandon Davis leaving the club that night and making fun of Blo.

How old are these sluts? 12?

[Fametastic] [TMZ]

Still Fug!

Tara Reid went to the L.A. Farmers Market yesterday and looked like she actually washed herself a bit. She isn't look as dirty, but she's still fug. Hopefully, she's put down the sauce and is hitting the gym instead. I'm not buying it though. Expect this chick to fuck up royally soon. What's a puddle full of vomit, if Tara Reid isn't face down in it?

Where's the SAVE SPF T-Shirts?

I need one of those right away.

Anyway, Britney Spears white-trashed her way out of trouble again. According to Section 27360 of the California Vehicle Code, safety seats must be installed to comply with the Federal standard. Britney should have faced SPF the other way.

A CA Highway spokesperson said: "It's far safer if the seat is facing backwards to avoid head-on injuries and whiplash in case of a collision,"

However, Britney will not face any charges of citations...because the incident must be witnessed first-hand and not through photographers.

The spokesman said: "It's a bit of a gray area."

Oh well! SPF is ready for some shit! He's been dropped on the head several times, suffered whiplash and heat stroke. He's ready for Fear Factor!

[CBB] [Thx Mousie]

Pete Doherty's Shenanigans Continue!

Pete Doherty appeared on MTV with his band Babyshambles and proceeded to squirt a syringe full of his own blood at two cameras after he injected heroin in front of staffers.

Why...I mean why?

MTV News had managed to secure a backstage interview with Babyshambles after a gig in Berlin.

Pete, who remains close to KATE MOSS, had refused to join his bandmates.

But midway through the interview Pete appeared in the room and sat down.

He then took aim and unloaded a barrel-full of his own blood on the camera lens from a few yards away.

His face lit up and he shouted: “That was a wicked shot. That’s going to make a cracking link that is.”

But his two bandmates — bassist Drew and dummer ADAM FICEK — were not pleased. Drew apologised to MTV saying: “I think the interview is over my friend. I’m really sorry about that mate, that’s fucked up.”

Then Drew fled and was seen kicking a door in a rage down the corridor. Pete also left but returned to perform a song once MTV had managed to clean the lens.

If I was a staff member, I'd drop everything and run to the damn free-clinic.

Seriously, his shit isn't funny anymore. That is just disgusting. I don't want your blood all over me, especially that toxic shit. That's worse than fucking acid! They should send Pete's blood over to Iraq.

I sorta love him though.

[The Sun] [Thx Brad]

The Always Private Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie has always been one to shy away from the probing lenses of the paparazzi. So it was completely out of character for her to give her mother a bouquet of gorgeous flowers right in front of everyone. It's even surprising that the paparazzi were even there, I mean the Ivy on Robertson is the most secluded and photog-free restaurant in all the land.

If I ever hear this chick complain about being followed and shit, I will fuck her with a corn dog. Honestly, that's fucking tacky giving your mom her present in front of everyone like it's some kind of pr event. And I believe that's her adoptive mother, no?

Someone Get This Girl Some Conditioner!

Most likely that's a dirty weave Mischa Barton is wearing. Seriously that thing looks fried. If it's a wig, weave, real hair, whatever...that thing needs some moisture. All she has to do is pop some baby oil on that shit, damn!

You know the horse that owns that mop is pissed off that she's not taking good care of his mane!

The Tony Nominations

The 2006 Tony Nominations were announced this morning in New York City. Julia Roberts who created a huge buzz with her Broadway debut in Three Days of Rain failed to receive a nomination. The musical The Drowsy Chaperone led the pack with 13 nominations. I saw that show and it was hot shit. Here's the nominations in some of the lead categories:

Best Play
The History Boys
The Lieutenant of Inishmore
Rabbit Hole
Shining City

Best Musical
The Color Purple
The Drowsy Chaperone
Jersey Boys
The Wedding Singer

Best Revival of a Play
Awake and Sing!
The Constant Wife
Edward Albee's Seascape
Faith Healer
Best Revival of a Musical
The Pajama Game
Sweeney Todd
The Threepenny Opera
Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play
Ralph Fiennes, Faith Healer
Richard Griffiths, The History Boys
Zeljko Ivanek, The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial
Oliver Platt, Shining City
David Wilmot, The Lieutenant of Inishmore

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play
Kate Burton, The Constant Wife
Judy Kaye, Souvenir
Lisa Kron, Well
Cynthia Nixon, Rabbit Hole
Lynn Redgrave, The Constant Wife

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical
Michael Cerveris, Sweeney Todd
Harry Connick, Jr., The Pajama Game
Stephen Lynch, The Wedding Singer
Bob Martin, The Drowsy Chaperone
John Lloyd Young, Jersey Boys

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical
Sutton Foster, The Drowsy Chaperone
La Chanze, The Color Purple
Patti LuPone, Sweeney Todd
Kelli O'Hara, The Pajama Game
Chita Rivera, Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Play
Samuel Barnett, The History Boys
Domhnall Gleeson, The Lieutenant of Inishmore
Ian McDiarmid, Faith Healer
Mark Ruffalo, Awake and Sing!
Pablo Schreiber, Awake and Sing!

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play
Tyne Daly, Rabbit Hole
Frances de la Tour, History Boys
Jayne Houdyshell, Well
Alison Pill, The Lieutenant of Inishmore
Zoë Wanamaker, Awake and Sing!

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical
Danny Burstein, The Drowsy Chaperone
Jim Dale, The Threepenny Opera
Brandon Victor Dixon, The Color Purple
Manoel Felciano, Sweeney Todd
Christian Hoff, Jersey Boys

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical
Carolee Carmello, Lestat
Felicia P. Fields, The Color Purple
Megan Lawrence, The Pajama Game
Beth Leavel, The Drowsy Chaperone
Elisabeth Withers-Mendes, The Color Purple

Visit Playbill for a complete list.

It's Upfront Week: ABC

It's ABC's turn to present their new shows for this upcoming season. They will announce later this afternoon in NYC. The network has already cancelled Invasion and Commander-In-Chief. Some of the stars expected for ABC's Fall season are Calista Flockhart, Rachel Griffiths, Balthazar Ghetty, Taye Diggs, Anne Heche, Bridget Moynahan, Jay Hernandez, Hope Davis, America Ferrera, Wendie Malick, Ted Danson, David Arquette and Kelly Hu.

The series are:
"Brothers & Sisters" (one-hour, Sunday, 10:00 p.m., ET) - The adult children of William Walker, along with their respective families, have gathered to celebrate Kitty's birthday. Little do they know that, on this day, their lives will take a dramatic turn.
"Day Break" (one-hour) - We've all had bad days... the kind of day where nothing goes our way and we just can't wait to put it behind us. Detective Brett Hopper is having one of those hellacious days... only he can't put it behind him because he's living the same day over and over again.


"Men in Trees" (one-hour, Friday, 9:00 p.m., ET) - Finding a good man in today's world isn't as difficult as some women think. You just have to watch out for the signs. You wouldn't drive with a blindfold on but, for some reason, women continue to date with one.

"The Nine" (one-hour, Wednesday, 10:00 p.m., ET) - So much in life is beyond your control. You may g about your day like any other when suddenly a random moment, an accident, a blessing, even a stranger redirects your life forever. And on that day, it's up to you to decide if that moment will stop you in your tracks or lift you up to new heights.

"Six Degrees" (one-hour, Thursday, 10:00 p.m., ET) - Who will you touch? Who will touch you? They say that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person through a chain of six people, which means that no one is a stranger... for long. In this hour-long drama from the producers of "Lost" and "Alias," six very different New Yorkers go about their lives without realizing the impact they're having on one another - yet. A mysterious web of coincidences will gradually draw these strangers closer, changing the course of their lives forever. Is it happenstance? Fate? Is there a greater force at work in our world, guiding us along and connecting our lives?


"Traveler" (one-hour) - Jay, Tyler and Will are friends who have spent the last two years in grad school. They are about to depart on a summer trip when a simple prank to rollerblade through one of New York City's most famous museums makes Jay and Tyler prime suspects in a terrorist bombing that destroys the museum seconds later. Hopeful that Will can help clear up this misunderstanding, they learn he's been missing since the exploion and think he may be dead. They're unable to turn to authorities when they realize they can't prove Will even exists. In every photo from the past two years, he has managed to block his face.

"Betty the Ugly" (one-hour comedy, Friday,8:00 p.m., ET) - In the superficial world of high fashion, image is everything. Styles come and go, and the only constants are the wafer-thin beauties who wear them. How can an ordinary girl -- a slightly plump plain-Jane from Queens -- possibly fit in?


"Big Day" (half-hour, Thursday, 8:00 p.m., ET) - If "24" married "Father of the Bride," their child would be "Big Day." Everything matters at a wedding, and the smallest imperfections can reverberate throughout the event as if lives actually hang in the balance. Choice of side salad? A trivial decision you would think, but for the mother of the bride, this might as well be the most critical decision of her life, and if you're the caterer, you'd better get it right. That's just the beginning -- the maid of honor accidentally drinks the best man's contacts after sleeping with him, and the father of the bride wants to stop the wedding. Things are about to get even more complicated for Danny and Alice, as their day turns into a season-long roller coaster where nothing goes according to plan. Over the course of an entire season, each episode will focus on one day - Danny and Alice's wedding day.

"Help Me Help You" (half-hour, Tuesday, 9:30 p.m., ET) - Whoever came up with the idea of group therapy? Take a bunch of people who are all really messed up in different ways and put them in a room together to try and help each other out. he group leader, Dr. Bill Hoffman, is probably the craziest and most self-obsessed of all, but his patients would never know it because he hides behind his very respectable celebrity image as a bestselling author of phenomenally successful self-help books.
"In Case of Emergency" (half-hour) - Who you were in high school is usually not who you end up being. Harry, Jason, Sherman and Kelly all went to the same high school. Several years on since graduation, their lives haven't exactly turned out the way they planned. Diet guru Sherman will hijack a pastry truck and over-indulge after discovering his wife left him and cleaned him out. In the face of a fraud indictment, financial whiz Jason will dodge the suicide bullet only to shoot himself in the foot... literally. Unhappily divorced, Harry goes for a relaxing "massage," only to discover his scantily clad "masseuse" is Kelly, their high school valedictorian. A series of emergencies will reunite this hapless brood and they'll find, at the end of the day, that they've got each other in case of emergency.
"Let's Rob..." (half-hour, Tuesday, 9:00 p.m., ET) - For almost 20 years, Eugene Gurkin has dreamt of opening a bar, but his dead end job on the late, late janitorial shift won't even fund a bottle of premium booze. In the wake of a co-worker's death, he catches an episode of television. Call it divine intervention, call it a dumb idea, but whatever it is takes hold of Eugene and soon he recruits a group of misfits into his "gang" for a heist to finance their dreams. The target: Rock icon Mick Jagger's super-luxe Central Park West apartment. Working together, this band of affable, new-age Robin Hoods, who have never even shoplifted a candy bar, are soon casing the joint and prepping for their crime. What they don't know is that there's a much richer target for them... the chance to find hope, self-esteem and confidence within themselves.

"Notes from the Underbelly" (half-hour, Thursday, 8:30 p.m., ET) - Andrew and Lauren have just found out they're going to have a baby, and they're having a difficult time following rule number one - keeping it secret. Suddenly switching to decaf, becoming a teetotaler at cocktail parties, and going to the OBGYN are all difficult to keep from family and close friends.


Visit Coming Soon for a complete cast list and info about each show.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Sharon Osbourne gives Mary Tyler Moore emotional support during her annual pap smear. - Nick

Runner-up:

This is what happens when you use a latex dildo without a condom! Slut! - Pricolatino


[Thx Mitsy]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Josh Saviano

[For KitKatWoman]

Birthday Sluts

David Boreanaz (37)
Tori Spelling (33)
Tracey Gold (37)
Mare Winningham (47)
Janet Jackson (40)
Debra Winger (51)
Pierce Brosnan (53)
Christian Lacroix (55)

Too Weak to Walk

Click here to see an extremely funny video of Nicole Richie getting carted around by Mischa Barton at a grocery store in L.A. Maybe if she actually shopped for food and ate it, she'd have more energy to walk.

[TMZ]

House of Derriere

Beyonce is still trying to sell rags from that dumb House of Dereon clothing line. I mean, who in their right mind is going to wear a hat like that? She looks like a fool. And since when was Solange so ugly?

David Blaine's Next Stunt

Last week in New York City, David Blaine unsuccessfully completed his underwater stunt. He did succeed in spending 7-days underwater, but he failed to hold his breath for 9-minutes breaking the World record. He has vowed that he will try to complete that stunt very soon.

However, he's moving on to his next project. He's planning to live among the wild animals in the jungle.

He said: "I'm planning to live harmoniously among wild beasts. And I'd like to do it alone in the jungle."

That shit ain't hard! He can just join the cast of Survivor to make that happen. And who does he think he is? Snow White? I want to see real magic. I wanna see him set his shit on fire or chop his head off. You know, real shit.

[Contact Music]

Paris Hilton Quote of the Day!

on Nicole Richie's body:

"It’s not normal. I can’t believe it. She looks horrible. It’s really sad."

Jake's Mother Day

Jake Gyllenhaal spent Mother's Day with his lovely family at the beach. His dog is seriously in love with him. It like gazes at him lovingly and shit. Wait, maybe that's Kiki!

Panty Creamer of the Day: Steve Guttenberg

Yup, from Ghostbusters!


[Thanks Pier]

Afternoon Crumbs

Eva is the hottest again, will this ho just go away? [TMZ]

Naomi Watts is the next Elizabeth Taylor [Egotastic!]

Teri Snatcher's drunk face [Cityrag]

Kiefer Sutherland takes down a Xmas tree [Popsugar]

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are going strong [Glitterati]

Tyra Banks in jail [Crunk + Disorderly]

Miami Vice is coming [IDLYITW]

The Becks hide [Gabsmash]

Nicky Hilton's truly fugly shoes [Hollywood Rag]

The winner of Survivor [Just Jared]

DMX Gets Arrested

Rapper DMX was arrested after he caused disturbances on an airplane after refusing to put on his seat belt on a flight from New York to London.

Once they landed at Heathrow, he was brought into custody. He received a citation after he accepted responsibility and he was released.

This isn't the first time the rapper has had problems with airports. He completed a 70-day sentence late last year for bulldozing his car into an airport security gate.

He may be angry, but he's hot. He can bulldoze my security gate anytime. Yeah, that didn't work the way I thought it would.

[Access Hollywood] [Thx Stacy]

Pete Doherty in Drag Looks Like....

Pete Doherty got high and put on a dress and a bob to perform in Cologne, Germany with his band Babyshambles. For the life of me I can't figure out who he looks like in drag. I'm thinking a little Anna Wintour. I mean they have the bob thing going. Oh and he's wearing a dress of his ex-girlfriends. No, not Kate Moss! His other ex, Nadine.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with Anna.















[Pics: ONTD]

Brangelina to Never Marry!

Angelina Jolie has apparently told Brad Pitt that she doesn't have any plans to marry him He has begged her ass to please marry him, but she just gives him the hand.

A source said: "Brad has literally got down on his knees to beg Angelina to change her mind, but she laughs pulls him to his feet, kisses him and says, 'Let's not ruin something so perfect.'"

She is wary of marriage after her previous marriages to Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton ended in blood and tears. Brad feels like the only way he can hold on to Angie is to make it legal.

Meanwhile, Maddox is laughing his ass off in the corner.

These are some new pics of Maddox and his main slave shopping in Namibia.

[Post Chronicle]

Xtina Porns Up GQ Magazine

Hilary Duff Turns On Her Species!

Animal rights groups are turning their rage on sugary sweet Hilary Duff. The group called SHARK (Showing Animals Respect And Kindness) is pissed off at her ass for making appearances at rodeos and bull fights.

Duff recently launched her own line of cosmetics that touted the fact that they did not allow animals to be used in the testing or making of their products. This made her the animal activist's fave until she started singing at the horse and bull performances, drawing record crowds and the ire of SHARK, who are disgusted by Duff's decision to do so.

The SHARK website has an entire page dedicated to slamming Duff called "Dump Duff" which states the young actress is "not what she appears". The Dump Duff webpage also offers links to numerous videos and stills of animal cruelty, some of which is terribly graphic, and warns her to back off her performances at these "venues" or else she will be exposed as the "not nice" person she is.

This is upsetting. Hilary should support her own: the horses and ponies of the world. Species should stick together!

Oh and I'm not sure what the cake is for. She's not eating it that's for sure.

[Post Chronicle]

Britney Driving With Curlers!

If this isn't a white trash postcard, I'm not sure what is. Here's Britney Spears driving with full curlers in her Mini Cooper and SPF looking dead in the back seat. This is my new screen saver! This is truly a gorgeous picture.

In other Britney news, she's apparently hard at work on her next album which plans to take her out of the pop princess mold.

Producer J.R. Rotem spoke out about her new project:

"She wrote a song with me that's kind of introspective about how people and the paparazzi are constantly following her around,"

“Their life is crazy. I'm also working with K-Fed, her husband, quite a bit on some hip hop stuff, and literally every time he comes over, he's followed by like five to eight paparazzi trucks.

”They just camp out in front of my place while we work and try to take pictures of anything. They cannot go anywhere without being followed. It's amazing and very aggravating."

"She's definitely touching on subjects that have to do with her everyday life … being married and having a baby and what her life is now will be reflected in the album, but it's going to be a combination. Britney's the Queen of Pop, and she's not going to go off on some weird tangent.

“We're also doing the club kind of stuff, that's very pop, dance with hip-hop. It's like next-level Britney. Her fans are not going to be disappointed."

Queen of Pop? When did that happen. Queen of Poop is more like it!





[Entertainmentwise] [Thanks Stacy and Vegas]

Almost Getting Kidnapped is Taking its Toll!

Here are sets of outtakes from the Vogue shoot of our girl Jordan that didn't make it into the magazine. OK! America picked em up and published them in their mag. I'm happy that Jordan is starting to get some attention over here, but dayum! Bitch looks beat up! She looks like she's been running from the law her whole life in these pics.

Next time she does an American shoot, she needs to get her British photoshop experts to work on that shit.

Is This SPF's New Nanny?!?

Damn! Looks like Britney Spears got herself some eye candy in her new nannny. This is apparently the new help for SPF. Shit, I'm not hating on her. Let's hope he's taking care of SPF during the day and taking care of mama at night. This boy toy is surely two-step ups from KFed. SPF looks lovely as always! Oh and Britney looks so much better blurry.

Hmmm....I Smell Something Fishy and it Ain't Her Cooch!

Jordan almost kidnapped!

Scotland Yard has apparently put a stop to the UK glamour girl and her family getting nabbed. The police have put Jordan, Peter Andre, Harvey and Junior under surveillance for the past 3-months after they had received threats from someone claiming they were going to take Harvey or Junior from the piece of trash couple.

Detectives discovered a gang of foreign and London crooks planned to take one of the children hostage and demand a #1 million ransom.

The threat was described as "very real".

The father of Jordan's elder son Harvey is Sydney FC footballer Dwight Yorke.

He is out of Australia at the moment training with Manchester United ahead of captaining Trinidad and Tobago in the upcoming World Cup.

A panic button and a monitored alarm system have been installed at Jordan's #750,000 country home in Maresfield, East Sussex, the paper reported, and she has a bodyguard for when she goes out.

An official Scotland Yard spokesman confirmed: "The Metropolitan Police specialist kidnap unit are investigating intelligence about a threat to kidnap and extra security has been put in place to protect the family."

Please, Jordan is taking a page out of Posh Beckham's book. The same shit happened to her ass. Publicity anyone?

You know Harvey probably put that shit together himself. He was sick of wearing handmade clothes and forced to pose for pictures in two-bit magazines.

And if anybody takes Harvey, I will slice them up like a used up vagina!

[The Daily Telegraph]

Baby Ginger!

Geri Halliwell has popped out a little baby girl in London at 9pm yesterday.

A hospital source revealed: "The birth went well. Mother and daughter are doing fine."

Geri's mother, Anna Maria, stayed by her side throughout the delivery - which came a month early - but the father of her child, Sacha Gervaise, was not present.

The 33-year-old singer - who fell pregnant during a six-week fling last year - is believed to have banned the Hollywood screen producer, and recovering drug addict, from being involved in her child's life.

It has been claimed that Gervasi's lifestyle was so overtaken by drugs that he got kicked out of the band Bush after having an ecstasy overdose on stage.

Geri has previously talked about her anxiety at having her first child and revealed that she would call her baby Leonardo if it was a boy.

She said: "I'm just hoping this child is more angel than devil's child.

"To think that it might one day be going to the equivalent of the raves I went to, or driving away my car without permission, just like the way I took my dad's, is horrifying."

I congratulate her ass on actually producing something as of late. Where the hell has she been? Ewww, she's gonna get soooo fat!

[LSE][Thanks Stacy]

It's Upfront Week: NBC!

Upfront Week began today in NYC with NBC being the first network to announce their fall line-up. Everything went according to plan and the network has cancelled Conviction, The West Wing, Joey, Surface, Teachers, E-Ring and Celebrity Cooking Showdown. The Network's new show's stars people like Dana Delany, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Hayden Paniettiere, Ali Larter, Jeremy Sisto, Olivia Wilde, Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, Jeffrey Tambor, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.

Coming Soon reports:

MONDAY
Monday should remain strong for NBC, especially with the huge new promotional platform of "Sunday Night Football." Opening at 8 p.m., "Deal or No Deal" wins the time period with broad appeal and should drive viewers into the night's new tent-pole series "Heroes," a stylish drama with strong breakout potential. The new show should prove to be highly compatible with the suspenseful series "Medium" at 10:00 p.m.

TUESDAY
NBC kicks off at 8 p.m. with "Friday Night Lights," a new drama that transcends sports and should be ideal for families to view together. NBC follows this with another new drama, "Kidnapped," a tense serial thriller that should team well with the 10:00 p.m. incumbent "Law & Order: SVU," which continues to dominate despite soft lead-ins this past season. Film star Connie Nielsen ("Gladiator") joins the "SVU" cast for six episodes early in the season while series star Mariska Hargitay is on maternity leave.

WEDNESDAY
"The Biggest Loser" proved to be a refreshing success story last year at 8 p.m., and it ended its second cycle with record numbers, boosting NBC to its biggest non-Olympics Tuesday in five years. It will be used to combine with the evergreen "Law & Order" at 10:00 p.m. to hammock two new comedies. At 9 p.m., Emmy winner John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor are set to win over audiences with their masterful chemistry in "20 Good Years." That leads into the 9:30 p.m. time period premiere of "30 Rock," starring Emmy winner Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan. Then Dick Wolf's "Law & Order" will return re-invigorated by exciting cast changes aimed at keeping the show fresh and competitive.

THURSDAY
NBC's traditional flagship night starts with two of television's most popular new series in "My Name Is Earl" and "The Office." Expect renewed vitality on the night with the arrival of the much-anticipated "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" in the vital 9 p.m. hour followed by "ER" -- the series that has defined Thursdays (10-11 p.m. ET) for a dozen years. However, the medical drama will have a decided edge this year with all original telecasts leading to a cliffhanger in December. Additionally, John Stamos joins the regular cast as he reprises his role as Tony Gates, a charming Gulf War vet working through medical school as a paramedic. In January, "The Black Donnellys," from Oscar winners Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco (both for "Crash"), will premiere in the time period. "ER" will complete its season in the time slot following the run of "The Black Donnellys."

FRIDAY
NBC will stick with stability with time-period champ "Deal or No Deal" at 8 p.m. followed by "Las Vegas" and its loyal audience at 9:00 p.m. Closing out Fridays at 10:00 p.m. will be "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," which re-locates from Sundays due to the NFL, after having performed solidly against intense competition on the night.

SATURDAY
"Dateline Saturday" will continue at 8 p.m. and encore telecasts of NBC dramas will run at 9 p.m. and 10 p.m.

SUNDAY
In addition to delivering a powerful night of television, "Sunday Night Football" will greatly increase NBC's promotional platforms leading into each Fall week. This four-hour package also allows NBC to reach an elusive young male demographic. When series programming returns in January, "America's Got Talent" with host Regis Philbin will take over the 8 p.m. hour. "The Apprentice" follows at 9:00 p.m., creating a strong unscripted block. At 10:00 p.m., "Raines" is a quirky police drama that stars the appealing Jeff Goldblum.

Crossing Jordan, The Apprentice: Los Angeles and Scrubs will return to the schedule sometime mid-season.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

They both enjoy consuming lines of a white substance. - baby

Runner-up:

What's yellow and hasn't had a period in forever.... - Glen


[Glitz] [Thanks Stacy]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Chris Burke

Birthday Sluts

David Charvet (34)
Jamie-Lynn Discalia (24)
Ahmet Zappa (32)
Emmitt Smith (37)
Chazz Palminteri (54)
Madeline Albright (69)

A Happy Birthday shout out to Dr. Jennifer!

Panty Creamer of the Day: Ryan Phillipe

By the way...Happy Mother's Day to all!!!!!!

George Michael is Becoming the New Pete Doherty!

This bitch is a straight-up mess! Not only is George Michael's face fugly full of surgery, but he is a pill-popping wreck! He fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his ass again! This is the most dangerous Queen in the World!

On Thursday night the gay star went cruising near his home and dozed off at traffic lights in Highgate, north London.

They changed FOUR TIMES before he was woken with a start by a driver tapping on the window.

"He was sweating heavily and had his iPod on," said the driver. "That's probably why he didn't hear all the angry tooting behind him. He got going again—but was weaving all over the place. Then he hit a bollard. I doubt he even noticed it. He looked wasted. He just drove on."

George had only just got his Range Rover back after hitting three parked cars earlier this month.

In February he was cautioned by cops for possessing cannabis after being found asleep at the wheel.

Damn! Somebody get this fruit cake off the road. He's a danger to all of us. But they'll let him go, because they punish hos over there. I wonder what was on his iPod? Probably, I Want Your Sex.



[News of the World] [Thanks Stacy]