Dlisted: 04/23/2006 - 04/30/2006

Saturday, April 29, 2006

They Love Each Other!

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend made like love at a Lakers Game. Get a room! I wonder if the smoked an apple before the game?

She's hot shit, though.

David Blaine is Going to Die

David Blaine is currently preparing for his huge underwater stunt. The stunt is called "Drowned Alive" and will involve David living for 7 days in a fish bowl like device underwater. After the 7 days he will come out of the fish bowl and try to hold his breath, breaking the world's record. But yesterday during preparation bitch passed out while trying to hold his breath. He blames it on exhaustion.

He said: "I've been working too hard and I'm already dieting, so missing one meal can really mess me up,"

This ho is hot, but nuts.

[Page Six]

And You Call Yourself a Model!

Christy Turlington showed off her true fugliness at the Tribeca Film Festival. What the hell kind of outfit is that?! Is she starting an Andrew Sisters tribute band?

HoHan's Trailer Trash Family!

Damn! Lindsay HoHan comes from a family full of straight-up pieces of trash! Not only is her father in the slammer for drunk driving, but her fucking uncle pleaded guilty yesterday for swindling a 9/11 fund.

Paul Sullivan, 48, pleaded guilty to ripping off a 9/11 victims' relief fund. Sullivan, brother of Lindsay's mom, Dina, admitted stealing $646,900 intended to help struggling downtown businesses by forging U.S. Treasury checks and cooking the books of his Ropa Group company. He faces 37-46 months in the Federal pen.

No wonder her ass is a coke fiend! Trash runs through her veins!

[Page Six]

What is a Grown Man Doing in a Palm Tree?

Keith Richard was hospitalized in New Zealand after falling out of a palm tree at a luxury resort in Fiji. Keith, 62, suffered a mild concussion and was treated just as a precaution.

"Following treatment locally and as a precautionary measure, he flew to a hospital accompanied by his wife, Patti, for observation," Curtis said.

The statement did not elaborate on Richards' condition or explain how he was injured.

But media reports in Australia and New Zealand said Richards hurt his head after falling out of a palm tree at an exclusive Fiji resort and remained hospitalized in Auckland.

A newspaper report Sunday said Richards was flown to Auckland's Ascot Hospital on Thursday after the accident. Hospital duty manager Steve Kirby would not comment on whether Richards was a patient there, citing the hospital's privacy policy.

The Fijilive.com news Web site reported that the accident was believed to have happened at Fiji's exclusive Wakaya Club resort.

I still need an explanation on what his ass was doing on a tree?! Bitch was high.

[Forbes][Thanks Stacy]

Glamour. Beauty. Class. Jordan.

Jordan never ceases to take my breath away like a punch in the stomach. Here's our girl at the Millionare's Fair in Shanghai. What is the MF? Well, it's just that. It's a huge fair held in Shanghai for Millionares. They showcase new luxury products, vacations, entertainment, etc... So what was Jordan doing there? Well, she's a fucking millionaire.

But she was probably there to give titty fucks to Japanese businessman.

Wonky Eye

Can you get wonky fixed? Lucy Liu has it bad. One eye is like twice the size of the other. She's hot, but that eye thing totally makes her look like a retarded fish. And that's not an Asian joke! Ling Woo from Ally McBeal still gets me everytime though.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Crystal Waters

Birthday Sluts

Michelle Pfeiffer (48)
Andre Agassi (36)
Master P (36)
Uma Thurman (36)
Carnie Wilson (38)
Eve Plumb (48)
Daniel Day-Lewis (49)
Kate Mulgrew (51)
Jerry Seinfeld (52)

Friday, April 28, 2006

KFed Doesn't Even Know!

KFed was a guest on L.A.'s Power 106 this morning. When quizzed about his woman being knocked up. He said this:

"I wouldn't bet on it."

I hate to say it, but I think her ass is pregnant and separated from his dumb ass. And yes I'd still hit it.

You can listen to the entire shit here


TiVo the Daytime Emmys Tonight!

Apparently, the official announcement about Rosie O'Donnell joining The View will be made at tonight's Daytime Emmys on ABC. Someone wrote and told me it's going to be hot. I hope they do some huge production number and Rosie shoots Star with a fucking pistol. Only that way it would be hot or if Rosie told Star that she ran into her husband at Rawhide.

Anyway tune in...Kelly Monaco is also supposed to whore it up with some slutty dance number.

Fill in the Blank

Lisa Rinna's lips remind me of __________

On a sidenote, I started this new feature yesterday afternoon and you bitches had me cackling in the hall like a crazy Liza Minnelli! I love it. Well, this morning I see this. I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

The Hottest Reality Show Since Flavor of Love!

I don't have Fox Reality Channel, but I'm considering on getting sattellite in order to watch this mess of a show.

The FOX Reality Channel will this fall air a three-hour, three-episode series that follows four porn stars as they learn to act.

My Bare Lady “will follow a group of U.S. porn stars as they travel to London and attempt to carve out acting careers on the West End stage,” according to the Hollywood Reporter. We’ll see “[t]heir experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience,” Reuters reports.

The paper notes that the show is being co-produced with a British production company using a financial model never before used with reality TV that “will give both companies a chance to air an ambitious, high-production-value show for less than it would cost to make in the U.S.”

It's funny that these hos will perform in the West End. I'm sure they've done the West End many times. Ok, I have no idea what that means but it was my lame attempt to try and make the London stage sound dirty.

[Reality Blurred]

Jade Quote of the Day!

From America's Next Top Model:

"With Jade what you see is what you get. Don't judge a book by its cover."

Kirk Cameron's Banana Friend!

*I had to remove the embedded player, because it was crashing some of your browsers. So click here to see it!*

Those crazy Christians!

[Thanks Avrielle]

Afternoon Crumbs

Freddie Ljungberg gets banned from Sweden [Towleroad]

A Mischa Barton upskirt [Egotastic!]

How does she keep getting hot guys? [Just Jared]

Cheap imitations [Cityrag]

Brad and Jen are extremely professional [IDLYITW]

Charlize to play Marilyn? [Glitterati]

Tom Cruise stops everything for his fans [Hollywood Rag]

Omarosa and her new tits [Crunk + Disorderly]

Cirie from Survivor is a true mastermind [TVGasm]

There's no hiding Scarlett Johansson's breasts [Hollywood Tuna]

Tyra Banks is Dating a Drag Queen

Tyra Banks and director/writer/actor Tyler Perry seem to be an item. According to sources Tyra has been desperate to get Tyler's attention and it seems that her hard work has paid off.

At Friday’s performance of Perry’s “Madea Goes To Jail” at the DCU Center, the “America’s Top Model” mistress only had eyes for Tyler “like an adoring significant other,” said Someone Who Was There.
She was in the audience last month in Philadelphia for the “Madea” madness. After which, the pair was, “chillin’ backstage pretty cozily,” said our spy. According to the gossip from that gig Tyra had flown 3,000 miles from La-La to take in Tyler’s show.
“Tyler and Tyra have been friends for some time now,” Banks’ spokesgal Melissa Kates said at the time. “She was amongst a large group of entertainers congratulating Perry on his most recent success.”

That's cute! They can share wigs!

[Boston Herald]

I Thought We Talked About This Mimi!

Why does she insist on buying her clothes at fucking Judy's!? Does that even exist anymore?

How Did This Woman Have a Kid?!

Didn't the having a penis get in the way of that? Just kidding! I love Janice Dickinson. She is a train wreck in every sense of the phrase. I think she just knows how to get attention so she does it. She knows her time in the spotlight is slowly coming to an end. So why not act the fool and embarrass your kids in order to get a few pictures some rags. Right? Oh and I think she always had trout lips like that.

Damn, I Guess She is Knocked Up

Access Hollywood is confirming US Weekly's confirmation of the pregnancy of Britney Jeans Spears. Brit is 5-months pregnant and this comes only 7-months after the birth of SPF.

The only thing that's certain is you will probably never seen her ass looking like this:


Getaway to Namibia!

Namibian officials are hoping that the birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby in their country will help boost their tourism.

Namibian's Ambassador said this: "It would be an honour for Namibia to become the birthplace of the Pitts' first biological child. If Angelina Jolie gives birth in Namibia, she would have done for our tourism sector what our tourism board budget cannot do in a year. The publicity we are receiving is because of Angelina and Brad and not the paparazzi. The paparazzi will not come to Namibia on their own. They will only do so when following a celebrity. Angelina and Brad Pitt can boost tourism but the paparazzi cannot."

I think this is a great idea! I can see the ads now!

Namibia: Homewreckers Welcome!

Namibia: The Only Place You Can Truly Get Away From Jennifer Aniston!

Namibia: We Embrace Wearing Sunglasses 24-Hours a Day!

[Contact Music]

Denise Richards is a Lying Bitch!

According to Charlie Sheen's friends, Denise Richards completely lied about allegations that he was into gay kiddie porn and threatened to kill her ass. His manager claims that Charlie requested 50-50 custody from Denise and she turned his ass down. When he told her that he was going to take her to court for it, she released those shocking tidbits just a day before the launch of his little girl's clothing line.

His manager said: "Did he gamble on sports? Big deal. Every guy I know does. Show me a guy who hasn't seen porn on the Internet. Does that mean he's not a good father? No. This guy lives for his kids. And she drummed all this up so he can't see his kids. It is the single worst behavior of a parent I have ever seen."

Of course his own manager is going to defend him...I mean duh! I still find it kind of weird that he has that little girl's clothing line.

[Post Chronicle]

Sharon Stone Needs a New Stylist

Her breasts are looking fantastic though. A little lumpy, but I like that shit.

Elizabeth Taylor is NOT Dying

Yesterday I posted a story on how Elizabeth Taylor was almost knocking on the Gates of Heaven. Her spokeswhore claims that's a falsity!

Dick Guttman says that he can refute every allegation in these published reports. In fact, he says they didn't get anything right.

Guttman says Taylor has a very busy life, with her successful perfume and jewelry lines and the work she does for AIDS.

The published reports have gone, as far as, to say Taylor is already planning her own funeral and she wants to be laid to rest next to her ex-husband, Richard Burton. Guttman says those are also lies.

The endless health stories surrounding Taylor's supposed impending death, Guttman says, have just become exasperating.

Thank the Lord. Hopefully, we're have more moments like the time she totally fucked up presenting at The Golden Globes. That was a classic!

[ABC News][Thanks Stacy]

Is That Her Kid?!

Elizabeth Hurley got some ice cream with her son in London. That boy is cute! He belongs in like the Harry Potter movies or some shit. Thank God he doesn't resemble his mom. I know some of you like her, but I can't stand her ass.

Michael K on MySpace

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