Dlisted: 04/16/2006 - 04/23/2006

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I'd Take Mark Over Jake, Any Day!

Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo met up in NYC to catch Lauren Ambrose in the Broadway play Awake & Sing. Jake and Mark got all cuddly and shit, but I know very well that Mark isn't into that shit. The two filmed Zodiac together and no doubt made friendlies. Jake can't handle what Mark has got to give. Anyway, they made nice and parted ways. Jake also met up with Lauren and she seemed like she wanted to get away from his mess. His beard totally creeps her out.

Tom Cruise Quote of the Day!

on the birth of Suri:

"It was everything that we wanted it to be. … It was spiritual. It was powerful. It was indescribable. What words can you use? It's still something that I'm processing and keep reliving"

Nicole Kidman with Granny Hair Leaving a Starbucks

Nicole Kidman is seen here leaving a Starbucks in the Hamptons. That dude is way hotter than her boyfriend, but probably just a trainer. Seriously, she needs to think about the hair.

Pam's New Man Looks Younger Than Her Ass!

Pamela Anderson and new boyfriend Laurence Hallier attended a PETA event at Panorama Towers in Las Vegas. Pam recently purchased one of the penthouses at the towers. Her boyfriend owns that shit. But seriously, she needs a damn nap. I know she has to make that money, but she also needs a facial or something.

Jenna Jameson in Esquire Magazine

Hot Slut of the Day!

Don Johnson

Birthday Sluts

Jack Nicholson (69)
Sheryl Lee (39)
Catherine Mary Stuart (47)
John Waters (60)
Aaron Spelling (78)

Friday, April 21, 2006

Parasite Hilton is a Gambling Slut!

I smell a new couple alert!

Charlie Sheen and Parasite Hilton belong together! Both like cheap sex and gambling all their money away!

Our favorite skank recently revealed that she loves poker and she never loses!

Yeah right, her dumb ass reportedly lost her $175,000 Bentley while gambling at her parent's casino in Las Vegas. She didn't have any cash, so she bet her fucking car. As a result, she's been banned from playing at their casino and her parent's are trying to help her ass.

Bitch should stick to what she's good at...actually what is she good at? I would say sucking dick, but I've seen her do that and bitch doesn't even have those skills?! How the hell does a slut suck at sucking dick?

[Bluff][Thanks Derek]

What a Piece of Trash!

Chestica Simpson leaves the men's locker room of an unidentified football team after each member took turns on her ass. Her vag was so droopy that she couldn't even put her pants on, so the dudes gave her a robe.

Ok...ok...I don't know what she was doing, but damn she looks beat up!

Brad Pitt to the Rescue!

Brad Pitt is pulling a Sean Penn and is ready to rebuild the City of New Orleans. He is sponsoring a "green" campaign to find designs that will help build parts of the city devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

The star is backing campaign group Global Green USA on the project to find environmentally-friendly designs.

The self-confessed architecture junkie wants ideas that make the city "better" yet respect "historical traditions".

Pitt, who will lead a jury of community leaders and architects, said rebuilding work in New Orleans was "long overdue".

He said the competition's aim was to "kick off the rebuilding effort".

"We could possibly build something that was better and took into account the historical traditions of the city and the voices of the people and turn this into some kind of good," he said.

Organisers say the winners will be selected before the first anniversary of the hurricane on 29 August.

The new Brad Pitt is so fucking boring. Just take off your shirt and shut the hell up. Leave that kind of shit to Angie.

[BBC News]

American Idol is Just Another Staged Reality Show

On Wednesday night's episode of American Idol. Ryan Seacrest asked Taylor Hicks to choose the group he felt was not the bottom 3. Taylor walked over and shaked Chris's hand before joining the opposite group. Well, looks like that was all a falsity.

Don'’t think Taylor picking the "safe"” group was of his own accord. During the commercial break, Executive Producer, Nigel Lythgoe, filled Taylor in on the fake-out handshake to Chris Daughtry and which group to choose. It turns out Nigel doesn'’t know who is going to be eliminated. He is kept in the dark until the very end. The only thing he knows is which three contestants are in the bottom three.

I'm hoping that next week Nigel "stages" a giant stage light hitting Kellie Pickler on the head.

[Reality Blurred]

Damn!!!! That's Cold!

Click here to watch this poor lady get her face smashed in! I love how the woman just stands there all shocked and shit. I would've chased after that old ass bitch and strangled her!

A Supermodel Beats a Bitch Down on an Airplane!

Surprisingly the supermodel was not Naomi Campbell. There's a new sheriff in town and her name is May Anderson. May was arrested for being a drunken mess and hitting a flight attendent on a flight from Amsterdam to Miami.

Danish supermodel May Andersen has been arrested for hitting a flight attendant on a flight from Amsterdam to Miami, police said.

The 23-year-old bombshell was aboard Martinair Flight 643 on Thursday. She was ''loud and disruptive all throughout the flight,'' according to a Miami-Dade police spokeswoman.

Airport police arrested the woman when the flight landed. She continued her unruly behavior with officers, police said.

Andersen was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital to check for signs of alcohol or drug abuse, then booked into Miami-Dade County Jail.

Naomi better step up her game or this bitch is gonna steal her thunder!

[Miami Herald][Thanks Stacy]

Denise Richard's Picture Perfect Portrait of Charlie Sheen

A 17-page document was filed Friday in L.A. alleging some shocking shit about Charlie Sheen by Denise Richards. The pair are currently embroiled in a divorce that is looking mighty ugly. Here's just some of the things she is alleging:

Charlie beat her ass
Charlie threatened to kill her ass
Charlie threatened to hurt her familia
Charlie was into kiddie porn involving little girls AND little boys

Charlie threatened to kill her dogs
Charlie is a drug addict
Charlie is a gambling addict

Charlie is addicted to whores

Charlie wanted her to have an abortion

Charlie accused her of poisoning their daughter with her breast milk

Charlie e-mailed a picture of his dick to several women
Charlie might have killed a porn star

Seriously! And here's some of my favorite quotes from the documents by Charlie:

"I hope you get breast cancer and die"
"I hope you get face cancer and die"
"You will never get to court, because you will be fucking dead"
"Enjoy your parents while they are still around"

If you have time you must get to TMZ and read this shit. I'm thinking of going to Lifetime right away and pitching this. Seriously, I'm thinking Jennie Garth and Grant Show for the lead roles. This is some good shit!

Afternoon Crumbs

Nipples out [Cityrag]

Ryan Phillipe all shirtless and getting a sponge bath [Just Jared]

Your party is officially over when Sienna Miller decides to start going there [Egotastic!]

Matthew McConagay did not rape a woman [IDLYITW]

Britney Spears shops without her baby [Hollywood Rag]

Get your pennies together and buy me a Pussycat doll, NOW! [Glitterati]

Nick Carter should really lay off the sauce and by sauce, I mean BBQ [ONTD]

Vanna White gets her star [Popbytes]

Tara Reid's Scary Nipples Return!

If you were Tara Reid and after getting up from getting banged by 25 dudes and going to your mirror to remove the jizz from your hair...wouldn't you take a good hard look at your nipples and realize how freaky they are. Her nipples are so freaky that if she ever has a kid that baby will refuse to put his lips on those things. She obviously doesn't realize this, because she still goes around flashing those things!


SPF in Brain Damage Scandal!

Does Britney Spears' beloved son, Sean Preston Federline, have brain damage? Probably not, but some sources close to Britney are saying that it's possible he could have suffered some trauma when he fell off his hair chair. They also claim that this isn't the first time he's done hit his head. Apparently, he's fallen out of the bed twice, both times hitting his poor skull.

Britney is also shaking in her uggs at the fact that two of her former bodyguards are intending to put out a tell-all book on her calling her a drug-using slob! Not only that, but an insider also makes these claims:

  • Britney is a drug-using whore with a stormy marriage
  • Britney sleeps until 2pm and is a nasty ass slob who lets her dogs shit anywhere they want
  • Britney always has drug dealers in her house and shit
Drug user?! I doubt it. She's just white-trash, I know sometimes it's hard to tell the difference...but in this case I don't think this bitch is a drug user. Maybe the chronic kind, but that's about it.

[The National Enquirer]

Intrigue & Glamour!

The old Bai Ling is back! Yes she's a dork, but that's why I love her. Here she is at the Silent Hill premiere in Los Angeles. I'm not sure what she's trying to accomplish with this look, but it's working for me. I think she's trying to be dark and mysterious, like the movie. Instead, she comes of looking like Nanook of the Whorehouse! I know she makes her own clothes, but this is ridiculous. Did she sew that shit when she was drunk?! Any 10yo sweat shop worker from her country would've turned that shit out. She should leave it to the professionals.

Fran Drescher is a Goddess!

I really can't say anything bad about her ass. I honestly love her and she's a true original. Ok, she's looking a bit orange. Besides that she's absolutely lovely! Oh, she's going to some lunch thingee here. I hope it's at Applebees, because then I'd love her more.

Michael K on MySpace

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