Dlisted: 04/09/2006 - 04/16/2006

Friday, April 14, 2006

Honey, People are Starting to Get Suspicious!



Tom Cruise probably felt people were starting to find a bit strange that Katie Holmes hasn't been seen out in public for a while. So he sent her out! Katie enjoyed some shopping at Barney's in Beverly Hills with her favorite pillow. Poor thing must be off her meds. She's heading toward Britney Spears territory in the looks department.





Afternoon Crumbs



Trina is my homegirl [Concrete Loop]

More fun with Trina [Crunk + Disorderly]

Chestica Simpson is a whore, but with a deck of cards [Just Jared]

Amy Smart and her nipples [Egotastic!]

Britney Spears wants some small screen action [Popsugar]

Parasite Hilton thinks implants will cheapen her image [Hollywood Rag]

Evangeline Lily prayed to God to make her fugly [IDLYITW]

What can Mick Jagger fit in his mouth? [Cityrag]

Molly the Cat is still stuck!

by Lahoma00



Breaking news: Molly the Cat is still stuck between two buildings in Greenwich Village! Apparently this slut has been trapped for 14 days and can't get out. Have you heard of this shit? It's become an international event! It was the top story on the news here in Manhattan! Soon Oprah's going to be on this.

Now they've brought out the Pet Psychic to communicate with Molly, while Animal Control keeps throwing fish between the buildings so Molly can eat. They better watch where they throw that or Star Jones might steal them because she's hungry!

The entire world is pulling for Molly except her owner, Peter Myers, who owns the store she's stuck between. He doesn't give a shit if she dies---he was screaming at everyone holding vigil for Molly that they're ruining his business!

Pray for Molly!

[Newsday]

Happy Good Friday from Papa Joe!



Happy Good Friday to you and yours! I am off to do some Good Friday rituals like get drunk and party! Here's Papa Joe with his daughter Ashlee in Australia. He's such an effin tool. Even his clothes annoy me. You know he got that shit at Kitson, because he thought it would made him look extra-super-cool. What is he doing there anyway?

He's probably just hoping to see his daughters up close in bikinis.

Happy GF!

Parasite Hilton Quote of the Day!



"I've always had a great voice. You either have it or you don't. It's something you're born with. I'm a brand, a model, an artiste, an actress, a designer. I write books."

Brad Pitt's New Mohawk



Brangelina are still in Africa and Bradley sported a new do. Maddox made him do it.



[Hollywood Rag]

Will Somebody Please Give HoHan a Fashion Deal?!



Lindsay HoHan desperately wants to be the face of a fashion house, ANY fashion house! First she bragged that she was Chanel's new muse and that didn't pan out and then she talked about being the new face of Louis Vuitton and they found her too "American" and now it looks like that piece of trash Donatella Versace may give her a job.

HoHan again is blabbering about that she's in talks with Versace to front their Fall campaign. Versace has said that nothing has been made official.

If she gets the job, she will follow in the footsteps of Madonna, Demi Moore and Halle Berry.

They will also save money, because Donatella can pay her with coke.

[Luxurist]

Don't Miss Tom Cruise on Primetime Tonight!

Set your Tivos and DVRS for the crazy Tom Cruise on Primetime Live tonight on ABC. You know this is going to be some good shit. I mean, Diane Sawyer doesn't even have to ask him anything and the bitch will just talk crazy by himself. Seriously, if there was a new word to describe being mentally insane it would be called TomCruise.

Tom confirms that Katie Holmes has to keep her Midwestern-mouth shut and tight during pregnant as to not disturb the baby.

He said: "It's basically just respecting the mother, you know, and helping to be quiet,— not the mother. The mother makes as much noise … you know, she's going through it,"

"But why have other people make noise? You know, you want that area very calm and to make it very special."

He did say that Katie could have drugs if she needed. Poor Katie, order her some crack and heroin to start. After all that chick has been through, she needs it.

[ABC News]

The Pussycat Dolls are Insane!



I asked my cousin what kinds of things her 4yo daughter likes and she said she was obsessed with PCD. Seriously?! This little girl is looking up to a bunch of hookers with no talent! I mean I could kind of see if they had talent, but come on. I'm all for dressing like a cheap whore, but this is ridiculous! Here they are opening up for The Black Eyed Peas in Sunrise, FL.

I know at least 2 of them have penises.



The Dlisted Report

Elton John and Miramax are teaming up to produce Gnomeo and Juliet, an animated twist of Romeo and Juliet featuring garden gnomes. The feature will be animated in the UK. [Coming Soon]

Production is currently underway in Vancouver on the remake of the Brian DePalma film Sisters. Chloe Sevigny and Stephen Rea star. The film centers on a young woman, who leads a disturbingly sheltered existence at the hand of her controlling psychiatrist (Rea). A nosey reporter (Sevigny), suspicious of the doctor's motives, gets involved, leading to her witnessing a homicide. [Variety]

Vh1 has officially renewed Flavor of Love for season two. They have committed to 10 episodes of the reality show starring Flavor Flav. Casting is currently underway with production to begin in May. No word yet on when the second season will air. [The Futon Critic]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Eminem donned a disguise after the Proof shooting but still managed a shout out to Detroit. - fo sho

Hot Slut of the Day!



Yuri from Moscow Cat Theater

[For Pamboy]

Birthday Sluts



Adrien Brody (33)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (29)
Da Brat (32)
David Justice (40)
Brad Garrett (46)
Julie Christie (65)
Loretta Lynn (71)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Jake's in New York



Jake Gyllenhaal spent the day sitting around on a stoop outside of his friend's NYC apartment today. He's probably in town to kick my ass for calling him a fag all the time. I"m looking forward to it. I love the pictures where this random woman is talking to him. She totally wants to get with that. Jake's wearing nurse shoes.



This is what happens when you watch Jag!

By Lahoma00



Some woman in London was just discovered in her apartment,
three years after she died! Apparently her skeleton
was found in front of the TV and it was still running!

A woman's skeleton was discovered in her flat three years
after she is believed to have died, it emerged today.

Joyce Vincent was surrounded by Christmas presents and
the television and heating in her bedsit were still on.
The 40-year-old's body was so decomposed that the only way
to identify her was to compare dental records with a holiday photograph.

Police believe she probably died of natural causes in early 2003,
and was only found in January this year when housing association
officials broke into the bedsit in Wood Green, North East London.
They were hoping to recover the thousands of pounds of
rent arrears that had piled up since her death.

Details of the case emerged during an inquest at Hornsey
Coroner's Court, which was attended by relatives including
Ms Vincent's sisters.

A spokesman for the coroner said today that Ms Vincent had
apparently been a placed in the women's refuge accommodation
as a victim of domestic violence.

When representatives from the Metropolitan Housing Trust
arrived at the flat on Jan 25 they drilled the door open and
discovered stacks of unopened post. Some mail was marked
February 2003, and medication and food had February 2003
expiry dates, the spokesman said. Ms Vincent was found
lying on her back on the floor of the living room, which
also doubled as a bedroom. Dr Simon Poole, a pathologist,
told the inquest he had been unable to establish the
cause of death because the remains were "largely skeletal", but
police do not regard the circumstances as suspicious.

The coroner recorded an open verdict.



This bitch was probably killed because she was watching
too much Walker, Texas Ranger or
some other piece of shit CBS show. Take note people!

[telegraph.co.uk] [Thanks to Bryon]

Vinci From 8th & Ocean is Really Hot



8th & Ocean on MTV is kind of boring, but I only watch it for Vinci. He's really hot and super cocky which makes him even hotter. He's totally going to be fat when he gets old, though.










[ONTD]

Titanic II: The Trailer



Somewhere out there really, really loves Titanic and put together a mash-up of several Titanic and Leonardo DiCaprio clips to come up with a Titanic II trailer. Actually, they did a pretty good job!

[Adrants]

Bai Ling Dresses as a Slutty Vampire to Play Poker!



Somewhere in Los Angeles, a haunted house is missing its curtains! Bai Ling showed up in a terrible dress to play poker at The 3rd Annual Casino Night yesterday. Can you imagine her playing poker? I'm sure it's like teaching a pig how to make creme brulee.



Speaking of pigs.....


A German Family Have Become Instant Millionaires!



Disney is going to pay!

A 49-year-old German woman died after riding a rocket simulator at Walt Disney World's Epcot theme park in Florida, the second person to die in less than a year after riding on Mission: SPACE, state officials said on Thursday.

State regulators said Disney had told them the woman, who died Wednesday evening, may have had some prior health problems including high blood pressure and chronic headaches. Disney did not identify the woman, and authorities did not say the cause of death.

Terence McElroy, a spokesman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, said Disney closed the ride for an inspection overnight after the woman was taken to the hospital. The attraction uses spinning centrifugal force to create the sensation of a rocket launch.

"They didn't see anything out of the ordinary," McElroy said. "Disney was satisfied that it was behaving normally."

Mission: SPACE reopened to the public on Thursday morning, Disney said in a statement.

In June 2005, 4-year-old Daudi Bamuwamye of Pennsylvania died after riding Mission: SPACE with his mother and losing consciousness.

An autopsy by a Florida Medical Examiner's Office determined that Bamuwamye had an undiagnosed heart defect which put him at risk of sudden death under stress.

That shit should be renamed to Mission: DEATH.

[Reuters]

Afternoon Crumbs

Cameron Diaz in a thong is not sexy [Hollywood Tuna]

First it was Britney and now there are Jacko and Kate Moss monuments [Cityrag]

HoHan & Chestica catfight [Egotastic!]

Ewan McGregor adopts a baby girl [Gabsmash]

Kenny Rogers admits to plastic surgery [Hollywood Rag]

Josh Holloway divorce watch [IDLYITW]

Kiefer Sutherland confirms 24 movie [Just Jared]

Heidi + Seal does not equal a hot baby [Popsugar]

Get an iPod in a vending machine [OMG Blog]

Tom Cruise Quote of the Day!



I'm on TomKat overload today!

"Sex is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks. "

"(Meaningless sex outside of a relationship) is really horrible and pathetic and lonely."



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