Anne Heche's Husband is Creepy Shit!

Come to think of it...Anne is pretty creepy herself. But wandering around naked in the desert can do that to a person.



Yup, she does wrong things to little animals.

Queen Latifah's Surprise Birthday Party at "Snatch" in Miami

A lesbian having a party at "Snatch." I mean how cliche can you get. Queen, at least have your party at Balls or Nuts or something or Dick's maybe?!

Wonky Eye Was Upset When She Found Out It Wasn't Strip Poker

Parasite Hilton participated in Maxim Magazine's poker tournament at the Wynn Resort yesterday in Las Vegas. She was probably hoping to get naked for the crowd. I'm sure she was upset when she found out that wasn't going to happen. Nicky Hilton also needs to lay off the self-tanner.

Kate Moss Signs Back With Calvin Klein

Kate Moss showed up to Calvin Klein's New York offices yesterday (pictures below) to sign a new contract with him worth more than $15 Million. Kate will reprise the ad campaign that made her a household name. Her new contract has earned her more cash than she's ever earned before.

More coke money, y'all! Party at Kate's!

[Fashion Monitor]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Damone Roberts - The Eyebrow King

[For Blair]

Birthday Sluts

Patricia Arquette (38)
Robin Wright Penn (40)
Julian Lennon (43)
Vivienne Westwood (65)

Sophia Loren's Still Got It!

The stunningly gorgeous Sophia is 72, but she's still hotter than ever! Here she is at the photocall for Scicolone, Lazar, Loren which I assume is a documentary about her life. She goes by all 3 names. Anyway, she looks extra hot. But my question is...did she get new boobs?

Calista Flockhart Admits Eating Disorder

When Ally McBeal was at its peak, Calista Flockhart faced harsh criticism for being so skinny. Back then she laughed it off to just being skinny and said she was completely healthy. Years later she has confessed that it was more than that.

She said: "At the time of all that, I was seriously stressed.

"I was working 15-hour days on the set and then I was dealing with the end of the show, which was basically my life.

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"I started under-eating, over-exercising, pushing myself too hard and brutalizing my immune system. I guess I just didn't find the time to eat. I am much more healthy these days."

Calista is healthier and happier now since she's found love with Harrison Ford!

So...Basically you were anorexic, just say it. Didn't she look nasty back then? That looks like a picture of Audrey Hepburn in her later years!

[The Mirror]

John Travola & Anne Archer Want to Keep Katie's Mouth Shut!

Devoted Scientologists Anne Archer and John Travolta believe that keeping Katie Holmes' mouth shut during pregnancy makes complete sense and they totally back it. Katie is due to pop any day now and John & Annie think it's a good idea if she tries to keep the noise level at mute.

Anne said: "It's just good common sense to have a quiet and creates a calm and loving environment. When a woman is in labour, it is very intense, and when everyone is moving around and chatting, it's very hard to deal with the discomfort."

"The aim is to keep it as quiet as possible. Of course you can't banish words completely, that would be ridiculous. Everything that happens around you is still recorded just below one's consciousness level and words in particular; shouting things like 'push, push'; can sometimes have an adverse effect later in life."

"Scientology has nothing to say about the use of drugs painkillers. We all know it's better not to use them, but it's totally between the doctor and the patient."

John and his wife Kelly Preston added: "Just try to keep it as quiet as possible. Of course you're going to groan and yell. It hurts. Just keep it to a minimum."

"There are unwanted emotions and pain that goes along with any birth."

These bitches are NUTS! That's all I gotta say about them. I don't want to run into these sluts in a dark alley, because the things they would do to me. They all probably have crazy dungeons in their basements. The rumors are true...they've turned Katie into a Stepford wife! Bitch is a robot! Next time someone comes face to face with her...throw water on her! I'll bet your ass she'll malfunction!

[Breitbart][Thanks Pamboy]

The Question on Everyone's Mind

Pumkin Denies Being a Lesbian!

On Wednesday we reported that Flavor of Love's Pumkin was due to marry her longtime girlfriend, Courtney Taylor. TMZ spoke with Pumkin herself and she completely denies the story. The woman is actually her best friend and not her fiancee. She told TMZ that she's as straight as can be even though she made out with Foofy and Hoopz at the same time.

She said: "I don't consider kissing another girl makes you bisexual, having sex with a girl makes you bisexual."

How is that these girls keeping getting press? The love keeps going on and on...we're guilty of that as well!

[TMZ]

Nornna on Fame

Nornna has become a particular favorite here at Dlisted ever since I posted a video of her eating chocolate cherries. It seems that Nornna is not only popular here, but everywhere! People love her ass. So here's Nornna discussing fame with us. I know her reality show is coming any second now!

Bai Ling Gets Her Party On!

I love Bai Ling, because she dances to the beat of her own drum! She is a true original! Here she is adding life to a most likely dull party in L.A. promoting the new GTD line by Geoff Thomas. Not only did she get her groove on, but she made friends with the DJ and entertained a group of hoochies! All in a night's work for Miss Bai!

Afternoon Crumbs

Carmen Electra gets off on Howard Stern [IDLYITW]

Picture Sharon Stone shaving Oliver Platt's ballsack [Goldenfiddle]

Keira Knightley has a giving heart [Egotastic!]

Meryl Streep and Lindsay HoHan in W Magazine [Just Jared]

Ciara and Bow Wow split [Hollywood Rag]

Heidi Fleiss picks up her first stud [Glitterati]

Nicole Richie in like one year [Cityrag]

LOL at James Brown's wig [Concrete Loop]

Enter into the 80s Vocab Contest for The Wedding Singer the Musical...Prizes Galore! [The Wedding Singer on Broadway]

Elle's New Demographic: Dumb Whores

[ONTD]

TomKitten Arrival Watch: Week 97!!!!

Katie Holmes is said to be due any minute, but instead of laying down and laying low...she's shopping for stationary. She's looking for just the right kind of paper texture and color to write a touching letter to the press detailing the miscarriage she plans to have right before the premiere of Mission Impossible 3.





[Pics: A Socialite's Life]

What's This I See?

Lindsay HoHan showed off a new fashion statement at some jewelry party last night in Hollywood. It's basically just a cuff. It's like a retarded Madonna glove from the 80s. I think it's some kind of drug device though. She probably stores the white powder in the center and all she has to do is take a quick sniff. I bet you the Japanese came up with this.

Woman Hides Gun in Her Vagina

41-year-old Victoria Lundy was arrested on Monday morning after police were called to her home after shots were fired. Vickii (I like to call her that) was seen speeding away from the scene. The coppers caught up to her later and arrested her on driving under a suspended license. At the local Ross County jail, Vickii was caught trying to swallow a handful of Vicodin pills. Police had to wrestle the woman to the ground to stop her from swallowing the rest of the pills. They jailed her in a cell by herself, because she's nuts.

However, Vickii isn't as dumb as we think she is. She managed to hide a loaded gun in her vagina. Officers didn't suspect a thing, even though she went through pat down. Bitch has skills.

Vickii's dumb cells did show themselves when she removed the gun and hid it under the toilet paper holder in her cell. The gun then fell out of the tp holder and shot a bullet into the ceiling.

She's currently in a hospital recovering from overdosing on Vicodin. She's also in a whole lot of trouble.

Furthermore, do not show this Naomi Campbell. You know her vagina is like a bank vault and can probably hide a loaded canon. She doesn't need to know this information.

[The Columbus Dispatch] [Thanks Rose]

BREAKING NEWS: Teri Snatcher's Face Finally Melts!

Kate Moss is Pretty Perfect!

[click on images to enlarge]

Kate Moss is seen here having a fag at a West Village restaurant yesterday. I must say that she is pretty hot. Now I know why dudes want to run up in her and do lines off her ass. I think I'd want to as well. Not the line part, because I've never touched a drug in my life! I don't even know what they look like!

KFed is Blinded By Science!

She's Blinded Me With Science singer Thomas Dolby is planning to sue a bitch after he's learned that KFed is sampling his song on an upcoming tune called America's Most Hated.

KFed however didn't use Thomas' song. He instead is sampling a track by Mobb Deep called Got it Twisted WHICH samples Science. Confusing right? Thomas approved Mobb Depp sampling his song, but is not planning to approve KFeds. He just doesn't think the song is that great.


[TV Squad][Thanks Stacy]

Jade is OUR Hero!

First of all, I want to thank Rich from FourFour for putting together this amazing clip from America's Next Top Model featuring our favorite girl...Jade. For of those you that don't watch, this ho is truly a trip! She's from outerspace and we love her. She's always talking about how she's the best of the best and has her game in check! This whole season she's been going on and on about how she's going to win and she's the best...blah...blah...blah

During this challenge, the girls had to use the improvisional skills they learned from the world famous Groundlings (yes, the Groundlings) to film this commercial for Cover Girl. They had 30-seconds to say anything they wanted about the product while walking up the stairs and through the party. When they got to their mark they had to sell the product and say "Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Cover Girl." Most of the girls sucked, but at least they actually said something during their walk. Jade's take on it was most likely inspired by RuPaul. This is honestly one of the funniest moments in ANTM history ever! I don't think she's going to be asked to join the cast of SNL anytime soon.



Now get on over to FourFour and read that bitch's hilarious recap!

Shut Mandisa Up With a Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich!

American Idol outcast Mandisa left in a blaze of controversy. Many people, including myself, believe that after the comment she made the week before she was booted had a bad effect on her and she lost her core voting audience. As you know, there has been speculation about her feeling on gays and Jesus. She has finally come clean and has only confirmed what we have been speculating. She gave an interview The Advocate magazine and came clean. Here's some snippets from the article:

There's been controversy about your comments on the Idol Web site and your appreciation for antigay writer and lecturer Beth Moore. Some took it as an endorsement of the "ex-gay" movement. What do you say to people who were turned off by that?

I just heard about that a couple of days ago. It broke my heart. I live my life by the value system that you treat others the way you want to be treated. I let love be my guide. I absolutely hate no one. When I heard that I was really upset.

Is there a conflict between being religious and being gay?

I know my value system, based on that, that on the word [of the Bible], that it does speak of that. I do know I have no place to judge anybody. I know that at the end of time we all face the judge and his name is not going to be Mandisa, so I cannot place any judgment on anyone.

Would you be comfortable performing or singing at a gay event?

I would not, no.

Would it conflict with your religious beliefs?

Based on what I believe, I'm not an advocate for [being gay], so it's nothing I would take part in.

My feeling is this. It's fine to have those feelings and beliefs, but to air them on a show like that is not a very smart thing to do. The last thing you want to do is alienate any kind of voting group. I believe that Mandisa's core audience was gay men. There's nothing gay men love more than a big, black chick who can sing. She should've kept her mouth shut and her beliefs to herself and she could've been in the Top 4 at least. She can now kiss Broadway goodbye and any prospect of recording gay disco tracks. I now think she's the real dumb ass not Kellie Pickler. Don't get me wrong, Pickler is still a cunt.

Read the rest of the interview here...

Queen Latifah Confirms She's a Dyke!

Well, sort of. Queen Latifah is following the new Hollywood trend and is planning to adopt. She confirms that she can't ignore her maternal yearnings anymore and has cleared her schedule in order to raise and have a baby.

She said: "I definitely plan on going through with adoption."

"There's a law that tries to keep the family together, so if you've had an adopted child for up to three years or so, the birth mother can come back and reclaim the child if they pull themselves together. "The law is good in a way because you love to see parents pull themselves together, but that's got to be tough on the adoptive parents, who've grown up love that child."

I think that Queen needs to come out and then ask Mandisa on a date. Because that dyke Mandisa need to come clean already. More on that fat heffer in a second!

[IOL]

The Return of Bo Derek!

Damn, she looks hot! She looks just as good as when she was in 10! Here's Bo Derek at the Dreamland premiere and she looks seriously gorgeous for 50. Sharon Stone and Meg Ryan need to take note. Yes Bo has a little tuck, but I'm not hating it.

Did Tom Hanks Get Plugs?!

Tom Hanks is seen here at a press conference for The Da Vinci Code in Tokyo. Is that a Chestica Simpson weave or did he get plugs?

How Much Do You Think I Could Get?

Jared Stern (the bald in the pink) is one of Page Six's writers and is the Editor of the Page Six magazine. He is under fire, because he solicited $220,000 from a billionaire in return for a year's "protection" from writing unflattering items about him in the gossip page.

In two 90-minute meetings, characterized by a shocking breach of ethics, Jared Paul Stern, a fixture on the city's gossip scene who also edited Page Six The Magazine, asked for a series of payments from Ron Burkle, the managing partner of Yucaipa Cos., a conglomerate with interests in supermarkets, celebrity clothing lines, and media.

It was all a setup, a sting monitored by law enforcement, including the U.S. attorney's office and the FBI, who are now investigating the extortion attempt. The meetings, on March 22 and March 31, were videotaped.

The shakedown began with a series of e-mails sent last month by Stern to Burkle.

It reached a boiling point more than an hour into the first meeting after Stern outlined various ways Burkle could buy protection on the gossip page.

An exasperated Burkle finally said, "How much do you want?" after Stern said he could control coverage by Richard Johnson, the column's chief writer, and his staff. "Um, $100,000 to get going and then you could get it to me on a month-to-month, maybe like $10,000," replied Stern.

"Okay, that's a great deal," said Burkle, the subject of numerous Page Six items including a "date" with supermodel Gisele Bundchen, meetings with other women and a nasty breakup with a longtime lover.

Burkle had insisted to Page Six staffers and editors that the items were not true. Among the other false items is a Jan. 1 report that Burkle flew Tobey Maguire, girlfriend Jen Meyer and blonde actress Sarah Foster in his private jet to Aspen, Colo., where they "vacationed at Burkle's mansion."

Damn! Even Jackie Collins couldn't write this kind of shit! Ok...more importantly how much could I get from Hottie, Lewis the Cat, Kalan Porter and Jordan to not write unflattering details about them. I'm thinking like at least a dinner for two to Red Lobster and trust me it's worth it! Have you ever had the cheesey bread?

[NYDN][Thanks to all who sent to me]

Parasite Hilton Will Not Be Playing Mother Theresa!

First there were rumors that Parasite Hilton would play Mother Theresa in an upcoming biopic and then it seemed she was going to do it and now she knows nothing about it! So, we can just close the door on this one, Thank Jesus!

She said: "I heard that. I don't think we look alike." "I love Mother Teresa."

I'm glad this doesn't seem to be happening. Because God himself would show himself on Earth to destroy us if we let this happen.

[Female First]

Vanessa Paradis Should Keep Her Lips Shut!

Vanessa Paradis looks pretty and normal when she closes her mouth and shuts the world out from seeing those heinous teeth. I know you're French, but times need to change. Get a Sonicare bitch! It's worked wonders for me. Oh and here's Johnny Depp and his butter-teethed chick at some Mont Blanc event two nights ago in Switzerland.

The Dlisted Report

Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito will star in All Lit Up together. DeVito and Broderick will play neighbors in a small New England town who collide when one decides to decorate his house for the holidays so brightly that it can be seen from space. John Whitesell (Big Momma's House) will direct with a December 2006 release. [Variety]

Steven Spielberg and reality show king, Mark Burnett (Survivor) will join to create On the Lot for Fox. After a nationwide search, applicants will be winnowed to a group of 16 undiscovered talents. The finalists will be brought to Hollywood, where they will be divided into several teams and will begin the hopeful journey toward their "big break." As the competition begins, each team will produce a short film from that week's genre, running the gamut from comedies to thrillers, personal dramas to romance, sci-fi to horror. With one member selected as the team's director and other members helping produce, they'll have access to the best resources the industry has to offer. A pool of professional writers, cast and crew will be made available, and if the contestants are resourceful enough, they may even be able to land Hollywood celebrities to star in their films. With the clock ticking, however, and other teams working with the same genre, premise or unique challenge, they'll all need to match their vision with decisiveness, execution and flexibility. Each week America will vote and a team will go home. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

Madonna's World Tour - Linda

first Joan Rivers on Match.com now
Sally Jessy Raphael performing lap dances at rock concerts...who says
the 85 and over crowd doesn't get busy - Queasy Fleas

"Grandma, I said cross your LEGS, not your arms." - Mean Reviews

Hot Slut of the Day!

Judy Jetson

[For MizRo]

Birthday Sluts

Russell Crowe (42)
Jackie Chan (52)
Francis Ford Coppola (67)
James Garner (78)

And a special Bday shout out to Andrew who turns like 26 today!

As The World Turns is old!

By Lahoma00

As The World Turns recently celebrated 50 years on the air. We here at dlisted believe in recognizing such milestones because we are the only ones that give a shit! 50 years on the air is pretty remarkable when you think about it, especially because one actress, Helen Wagner, has been playing the same role since day one! And in that whole time, the bitch has never come back from the dead, had an alien fetus or had kleptomania!









Here are the top 5 stories ever from As The World Turns!



5. Barbara is almost crushed by a bull

Barbara Ryan is the best character on the show, mostly because she's a fucking lunatic. Back in 1983, her psycho husband, the Swedish prince, threw her in the middle of a stadium and tried to have a bull run her over. This bitch is always getting caught with animals. The other day she was almost attacked by a bear, but all she seemed to care about was that standing in the mud ruined her heels.



4. Lisa thinks she's pregnant but it's a pillow

Lisa used to be the shit on the show back in the day. She used to have some maid come in and do her dishes and would just lie around all day and be a slut, which for the 1960s was scandalous (as opposed to today where it's glamorous--see Paris Hilton). Anyway one story had Lisa think she was pregnant. She even got a big stomach (thanks to a pillow) but when they tried to do a c-section they discovered she was just imagining the whole thing! I think they explained it as a cyst or something but it must have been a damn big one.



3. Barbara goes more insane

Basically over the last five years Barbara's gone even more bonkers. Her psycho fiancee set her on fire, then she kidnapped three pregnant women she hated and locked them in a spa for 6 months, then tried to avoid charges by jumping out of a three story glass window in the middle of her hearing! And she did this all in really hot pantsuits!

2. Liz dies by falling up the stairs.

Yes, UP the stairs.

1. Duncan gets his wife's shrunken head

ATWT did this really weird story where all these Scottish people moved to town, complete with a castle. One of them, Duncan, had a psycho for an ex-wife (it's a common theme) who sent him the shrunken head of his wife Shannon!


The moral of this story is the best thing about the show is nutjob Barbara!

Pete Doherty Quote of the Day!

"Drugs or sex - they are both great. The best is a combination of both of them. I really love sex on substances - nothing beats that."

How Do These Photographers Get This Close?!

Here's Kate Beckinsale getting her feet worked on. I wanna know how these paparazzi get right in there? I mean, they just run in and click click or is that through a window or some shit?

Can you tell it's a slow news day?

Her feet smell perty I bet.

Britney From the Back!

And here's another angle of that gorgeous "Britney Giving Birth to SPF" monument in Brooklyn. Let's just say that I would've like this left to my own imagination. I must however go stick my eyeballs in hot bleach now.



[Gawker]

Vanity Fair: The Fug Issue

George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Robert F. Kennedy and Al Gore are on the cover of "The Green Issue" of Vanity Fair on newsstands now. I think green either stands for "really rich" or "really dirty and shit."

[Popsugar]

Priscilla Presley Needs the Blood of Virgins to Stay Alive!

The Vampire Queen herself, Priscilla Presley went to London to shamelessly promote her bed linen collection at Harrods yesterday. She was also in Londontown to search the streets for fresh blood!

Mena Suvari is My Favorite!

I've always had a crush on Mena Suvari, but bitch is looking nasty at some Final Fantasy screening in Los Angeles. I think she wore a costume from the video game....but I'm still into it and hell yeah I'd hit it!

Afternoon Crumbs

Make your own peeps? [OMG Blog]

Even a weave can't hide Sienna Miller's fug face [Just Jared]

HoHan talks Kabbalahbalah [Egotastic!]

Paula Abdul gets pushed so files a police report [TMZ]

Somebody get me this bunny NOW [Cityrag]

New York is going to whoop Red Oyster's ass [The Deli]

Matt LeBlanc has already found a new piece [Gabsmash]

Personally, my money's on Naomi [Hollywood Tuna]

Parasite Hilton likes being flat [IDLYITW]

Star Jones is such a saint that she donated her fake Chanel [Hollywood Rag]

Am I the Only One that Thinks Hoffman is Kind of Hot?

He kind of looks like a German Shepard which turns me on. He probably talks dirty in bed and possibly would do that Tootsie voice for me. Here he is with Harvard graduate, Natalie Portman, going to eat something. The two are currently filming a movie in NYC that Nat probably will say is "really important and has a strong message".

From the Dlisted Mail Room!

I get some kind of hate mail every single day. And sometimes I wish to share these letters with you. This letter comes from a wonderful person named Nadia from Canada. Please listen to what she has to say, because she includes you guys in her rant:

Hello Michael,

I was perusing the net on another matter and stumbled upon dlisted. Not sure how that happened but it did. I came across your post about "Ellen & Portia's Lovechild!"

I'm curious, why would someone your age make such immature remarks about any of these individuals, including Kalan Porter? Not only that but you've encouraged others to do the same by posting it to begin with. Do you and the others get pleasure out of cutting up people you personally don't even know?

I believe that with age, comes maturity, wisdom, and insight. Someone your age could show a bit more class and respect for himself and for others. A photo of Kalan Porter was targeted by you and the others with crude comments. My goodness Michael, step up, get with it!

You may want to do a little research into Kalan Porter. You will be pleasantly surprised to what you learn about him. He's an extremely talented musician and artist who's as genuine and humble as they come. I'm asking that you please think twice about what you post in the future... not just about Kalan but everyone. Let dignity reflect in your blogs.

Nadia

What other matter was she pursuing the net on? Trannies? Just kidding! I respect Nadia's opinion, but this is what we do here at Dlisted! We talk shit, we cackle at a bitch, we tell it like it is, whatever...it's funny and mindless. And let's be real, dude looks like a lady!

Pete Doherty is Delusional!

Not a day goes by without a little bit of Doherty. He is turning out to be one of my favorite characters on this planet. I kinda want to hang out with him. He can totally snort heroin off my ass. I'd be into that.

Pete truly believes that he's going to marry Kate Moss this year and he's telling everyone that it's going to happen.

"We are going to marry. It's going to happen at a Scottish castle somewhere between September and November. "A posh Scottish castle. That's going to be so cool."

Maybe Pete's telling the truth. Apparently, Kate is desperate to help him and is even buying him new teeth. Everyone knows that when you're a hardcore crackhead like Pete you get crack teeth. Crack teeth is basically no teeth, so basically gums.

A source said: "The only way to save their romance is to save his teeth. Pete suffers from terrible halitosis because he rarely brushes his teeth.

"But he's terrified of losing her so he's agreed to see the dentist."

So...a wedding and new teeth! Things are looking up for Pete! I totally agree with Kate..you can't have true love without good teeth!

[Female First]

Whitney is a Beast for Pussy!

The sister-in-law of Whitney Houston has continued to make bizarre accusations about the singer. Last week, Tina Brown told the National Enquirer how Whit is a major crack-head that needs help. Pictures of her "crack den" taken by Tina were published in the weekly.

This week...Tina claims that drugs have turned Whitney into a hungry sex-fiend! And her appetite is not only for men, but for vagina as well!

Tina said: "Whitney has a problem. She's got to have it. “Bobby always tells me: 'If you only knew. She's with this one and with that one. It's no secret.'

"I've seen her with a woman a couple of times. They were walking around without their shirts on when I came in the house."

I am going to say that I do believe all the things Tina is saying to a certain degree. I want to know much Tina received for this story and why Whitney is keeping so quiet? Everything started out all scandalous and shit, but now it's just plain sad. This bitch Tina needs to step-off and let Whitney deal with her shit. Damn, I'm nice today.

UPDATE - A reader has informed me that Tina received $200,000 for her story!

[IOL]

Is Bill Cosby Losing It?

Bill Cosby upset many people at a rally in New Orleans on Saturday for comments he made to the African-American people of the city. The rally was attended by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Bill said: "It's painful, but we can't cleanse ourselves unless we look at the wound. Ladies and gentlemen, you had the highest murder rate, unto each other. You were dealing drugs to each other. You were impregnating our 13-, 12-, 11-year-old children. What kind of a village is that?"

Civil rights groups are upset because they feel his comments were hurtful and unnecessary.

Um..why doesn't Bill just stick to talking about JELLO?

[Post Chronicle]

Stop What You're Doing Vivica!

Back away from the botox and place your plastic surgeon's card in the trash! Better yet, tear it into a gazillion pieces! What is she thinking? Here's Vivica Fox at the annual Fifi Awards and I mean...she used to be one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood! But she's continuing to inject and stretch her mug!

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH pop starlet's pals are desperately trying to persuade her to see a shrink? The young lady is suffering serious emotional problems, but she won't go. It really doesn't look good...

Natasha Bedingfield

WHAT sixtysomething superstar of stage, film and song may be haunted by a home sex movie she made back when she was in her prime? Someone who's seen it tells us, "It may be her greatest performance ever."

Liza Minnelli

WHICH LA it-girl had a special implant to try and stop her drug addiction, but is back on the smack because she's now learned that the implant gives the drugs more of a kick?

Nicole Richie

WHICH TV celebrity chef has had to have a member of the film crew follow him round to discreetly blow away the fine dusting of naughty salt that was showered over baking trays and work surfaces as he bent over them?

Jaime Oliver

[3Am Girls] [R&M] [Popbitch]

Star Jones and That Book!

How's that book doing, because Star is still hawking it! Here she is at some event wearing the ugliest suit I've ever seen in my entire life. Where do you buy that shit? Seriously, it looks like it came directly from Hong Kong. And you know bitch would never go to HK, because they'd mistake her for a plump pug...skin her, fry her and serve her up!

Quick! Send the bitch to Hong Kong!



[Thanks Scott]

Jordan's Parenting Tip #303

To keep her poor little blind and disabled son
happy on photoshoots, Jordan has been seen
scattering crisps on the floor so that Harvey
can graze on them. Like a sheep.

[Popbitch] [Thanks Albz]

Chad Michael Murray and His Child Bride!

Poor, poor 18-year-old Kenzie Dalton. This little thing has no idea what's coming her way. She has no idea what's in store for her in the next few months. She's honestly not going to get any sleep, because she's going to be up all night worrying about where her man is. She's going to have to sharpen her smelling skills to try and sniff for vagina juice on his undies. She's going to have to learn Jessica Fletcher type skills to find out how to hack into his cell phone and e-mail. Poor thing...she's gonna look like she's 40 real soon!





[Lime-Light]

American Idol: Did the Gays Banish Mandisa?

As expected, 29-year-old Mandisa Hunley was given the boot after judges said song choice killed her. However, many think that news of Mandisa possibly being a homophobe could've left a bad taste in the mouths of many gay men. And let's be real, only gay men were probably voting for her double zip-coded ass.

Elliot Yamin and Paris Bennett also joined Mandisa in the bottom three. Creepy Paris had a smirk on her face the entire time, because she knew she was safe. But not for long! I'm coming after you Paris!

Next week is the music of Queen and I can already name the bottom 3 without evening listening to their asses. This may be an episode I need to miss since I predict that they are only going to shatter our ear drums and make us pray that Bai Ling was the one actually singing. I am predicting that Bucky, Katharine and Ace will be the bottom 3 with Bucky going home.

You heard it hear first!

Meredith Viera WILL Replace Katie Couric

NBC is expected to announce today that Meredith Viera will indeed replace Katie Couric on The Today Show. Meredith will leave ABC altogether including The View and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Her NBC contract is said to be worth $40 Million.

Meredith was always NBC's first choice to replace Katie who is leaving for CBS.

And apparently Star Jones' contract is also up at the same time Meredith's is.

If producers were smart they would replace Star too! Seriously, that piece of ho needs to be taken out!

UPDATE - From a reader:

Bitch Meredith just announced she's leaving, and Barbara yelled at Joy because Joy made a speech before her! It was actually very sweet. Joy was sweet, Barbara was rehearsed, Star was crying and you actually believed she was genuine, and Elizabeth was
an idiot as usual


[Washington Post][Thanks Stacy]

The Dlisted Report

Paul Giamatti and Chris Evans have joined the cast of The Nanny Diaries. Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini (American Splendor) will direct the adapatation of the novel starring Scarlett Johansson. Donna Murphy and Laura Linney also star with shooting to begin in New York this month. [Variety]

Gurinder Chadha (Bend it Like Beckham) is in talks to replace Robert Luketic as director on the feature film version of Dallas. Jennifer Lopez, John Travolta, Luke Wilson and Shirley MacLaine are all on board to star. [Variety]

Tim Allen and George Lopez will star in Amigos. In the project, based on an idea by Allen, he and Lopez will play mismatched in-laws who have to raise their grandson. Allen will also serve as producer. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

Fravol of Rove - Pricolatino

Runners-up for Nic Cage's new wife. - StoneyBaloney

Crouching Thai-girls, Hidden Drag Queens. - Chrissy

[Thanks Tiffany]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Catherine Mary Stuart

Birthday Sluts

Zach Braff (31)
Candance Cameron Bure (30)
Joel West (31)
Paul Rudd (37)
Marilu Henner (54)
John Ratzenberger (59)
Barry Levinson (64)
Billy Dee Williams (69)

Pumkin to Marry Her Lesbian Lover!

All these chicks on Flavor of Love are all turning out to be fake hos! I mean, like we're surprised! Mediatakeout is reporting that Pumkin is planning to marry her lesbian lover!

MediaTakeOut.com has learned that Brooke Thompson, who went by the name "Pumpkin" while on the twisted dating show Flavor Of Love, has just got engaged to the openly lesbian Courtney Taylor. According to sources close to Pumpkin, the couple met about a month ago and the relationship blossomed extremely quickly. Below are some photos of Pumpkin with her new fiance.

Pumpkin who appears to have genuinely found love, made the following declaration to her new lover, "A month ago I was hoping that one day I would find my soulmate ... the one person I am destined to be with. I never thought I would find this person, but I have. I love you baby!".

I hope New York's her maid of honor! And wasn't NY so right about Pumkin being a dyke! Bitch knows her shit! Visit MT to see more pics!

Say Something Nice

Kimora Lee Simmons: Well...um...er..hmm...um..at least she has a husband! Shit! Damn! Um....well...at least her face isn't as big as Mimi's!

New York's Man!

New York from Flavor of Love has been going on and on about how she found the love of her life and shit. According to a reliable source the man above is New York's man. His name is Amari and he's 26 from Los Angeles. Apparently, the two have been dating only a month after the show aired. They aren't living together, but things are all serious and shit. Go visit his MySpace in which he calls himself "Mr. New York" and gives love to her ass.

I think he's New York's man or he's what New York used to look like before she had the surgery.

Either way, I'd hit it.

Brandon Teena Shows Off the Nips

She has nice ones! But it is a little gross! That's why when you're a celeb and you're dressing for an event, you put the brightest lights on your ass to see if they can see shit! Either that or way a bra.

Garner Still Has a Belly!

Fat pig! Just kidding, she just had a baby! And yeah she's against Hollywood standards by not being stick thing after giving birth. But she looks a million times better than Britney! She's still as boring as oatmeal though!

A Little Meloni for You

I now how you sluts go ga-ga for Christopher Meloni, but what's going on here? He's like a Japanese Unibomber or something.

[Go Fug Yourself]

Katie Holmes is Totally Pregnant For Sure!

*I've been asked to remove this pic by the photo agency that owns em. Let's just say her belly looks straight-up fake!*

Pregnant with a fucking 50% goose down pillow! Here's Katie showing off some trashy wedding ring while pretending to be pregnant. She's due any second, but it looks like the Russian baby they ordered isn't ready yet...

Afternoon Crumbs

Lance Armstrong's new fake-titty ho [Popsugar]

Hoopz shakes her nasty ass in some ghetto video [Crunk + Disorderly]

Is Mischa Barton skipping out of The O.C.? [Egotastic!]

Tom shuts Katie up with a pacifier [Just Jared]

Whitney Houston gets involved in a cult [Hollywood Rag]

Jessica Alba does all the work [Hollywood Tuna]

The penis faucet [Queerty]

HoHan, Kate Moss and Courtney Love plan to do it up during Spring Break [A Socialite's Life]

Is Heather Locklear Boinking David Spade?!

Heather Locklear is apparently dating David Spade!

The two were seen making out at some Hollywood hot spot. The pair have the same manager so have been friends for a while. Friends of the couple say they are hoping to keep it quiet for now.

Heather probably just using his ass to learn comedic timing. Ho is trying to get her own sitcom after he last one was shelved. Oh and David was totally wearing platforms and elevator shoes in that photo!

[ET Online][Thanks Brenda]

Pickler Must Be Stopped!

Kellie Pickler had her hairstylist from Charlotte, NC fly in on Tuesday to style and cut her hair before that night's American Idol show. Kellie uses one of the Charlotte's most sought-after hairstylists. His name is Carmen Cutrona and owns Carmen! Carmen!

Kellie has been going to him for years. Carmen charges $300 for a cut and style.

Hmm....so you mean that "aw shucks" Kellie pays $300 for a haircut? I thought she was broke and stupid? Someone needs to call this ho out for what she really is! She can't win and if she wins I will strip naked to a Pickler song on my webcam for all of you! GD IT! I don't mean that!

[The Charlotte Observer][Thanks Stacy]

Eminem FILES for Divorce!

They were only married for 3 months!!!!

Detroit-area rap star Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Mathers, has filed for divorce from wife Kimberly Mathers, Local 4 learned.

Eminem's lawyer filed the papers at the Macomb County Clerk's office Wednesday, according to Local 4.

The couple remarried at Meadow Brook Hall in Rochester, Mich., in January.

The Matherses' first marriage ended in October 2001, but they reconciled in late 2004, according to Local 4 reports. They have a daughter, Hailie Jade.

Don't worry, those pieces of white trash will be back together in 2 weeks!

[ClickonDetroit][Thanks nldepuydt]

Courtney Love Pays with Food Stamps!

Okay! It's really Travelers Checks, but you know she traded in her food stamps for those checks! She's probably on every credit card companies block list! Here's our favorite Love doing some shopping on Robertson in L.A. No matter how you clean her up she still looks like a truck-stop hooker.

Flavor of Love 2 News!

Someone sent me this release that she has to sign to audition for Flavor of Love 2. She's meeting with the producers soon after sending in her tape. The release is actually kind of funny and reveals when the show is going to shoot and reveals that Foofy probably has a STD. I have put the juice in bold.

"If I am selected as a Participant in the Series, during the period of production, which is currently scheduled for May 1, 2006 to May 25, 2006....

"I understand and agree that Producer shall have the right to and/or may request that I rearrange, redecorate and/or remove items from my home and to control all audio and video sources (e.g., televisions, radios) within my home or, if applicable, my vehicle.

"I will be paid One Hundred Dollars ($100) for each day....

"If I am selected to participate in the Series, I will be one of approximately twenty-five (25) women who shall move into a home or hotel and live with the other Participants, including possibly Flavor Flav (and possibly film crew associated with Series), for the Production Period...

"I will not be asked, or be expected to have, any sexual or other intimate or other physical contact with any other the other Participants, including, without limitation, Flavor Flav.

"I acknowledge and agree that it is not a requirement of the Series that any Participants engage in any type of sexual activity, nor does Producer encourage any sexual activity among Participants. If I do engage in any sexual activity with Flavor Flav or any other Participants or otherwise, I do so entirely at my own risk, and understand and acknowledge that the risk of engaging in such activity includes, among other things, the risk of contracting any type of sexually transmitted disease, including, without limitation, HIV/AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), chlamydia, scabies (crabs), hepatitis, genital warts, etc. I understand and acknowledge that neither Producer nor the Network nor any other party has represented to me that any other cast member is or will be free of HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease. The risk of contracting any such disease and all consequences of my engaging in any sexual activity are among the matters released hereunder...

"Producer shall have an exclusive and irrevocable right to film and/or videotape a reunion episode (the "Reunion") in which I agree to participate, if required by Producer to do so, for Two Hundred Fifty Dollars ($250). ..

"I HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTAND THAT AS PART OF THE SERIES, PRODUCER MAY, FROM TIME TO TIME, CHOOSE TO SUGGEST CIRCUMSTANCES, SETTINGS AND EVENTS (INCLUDING MY BEHAVIOR AND THAT OF OTHER PARTICIPANTS) IN ANY MANNER (FOR EXAMPLE, I OR OTHER PARTICIPANTS MAY BE ASKED TO SAY OR DO THINGS WHICH HEIGHTEN THE EMOTIONAL OR DRAMATIC IMPACT OF THE SERIES, BUT WHICH ACTS OR ACTIONS ARE RENDERED SOLELY AT THE REQUEST OF PRODUCER AND MAY NOT OTHERWISE HAVE OCCURRED OF MY OR ANOTHER PARTICIPANT’S OWN VOLITION OR WHICH MAY BE CONTRARY TO MY OWN FEELINGS OR FACTUAL CIRCUMSTANCES). I ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT I MAY NOT BE AWARE WHEN PRODUCER, ANOTHER PARTICIPANT OR A THIRD PARTY IS ENGAGING IN SUCH SUGGESTED CONDUCT AND THAT SUCH CONDUCT MAY CAUSE ME EMBARRASSMENT, PHYSICAL AND/OR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. I NONETHELESS CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SERIES, ASSUME ANY AND ALL SUCH RISKS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH, AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT ALL SUCH RISKS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH SHALL BE INCLUDED WITHIN THE MATTERS RELEASED, WAIVED AND INDEMNIFIED AGAINST UNDER PARAGRAPH V BELOW.

Ok, so basically we learn that Foofy probably has some kind of STD...because they warn you of this in advance. They are cheap bastards that only pay you $100 a day. Hookers make more money than that! They also let you know that this is all fake and you probably have to act most of the time. Interestingly enough they don't tell you that you can't beat a bitch down!

Poor Tom Cruise!

Tom Cruise has really been through a lot in his life and seriously my heart goes out to him. Well, if I had a heart to give him. His latest rant in order to promote MI3 is about how badly he was treated by his father. I like the fact that Tom is so crazy that he actually believes people are going to feel sympathy for his nutty ass.

“He was a bully and a coward. He was the kind of person where if something goes wrong they kick you.

“It was a great lesson in my life – how he’d lull you in, make you feel safe and then, bang. For me it was like, ’There’s something wrong with this guy. Don’t trust him. Be careful around him’. There’s that anxiety.”

Tommy also revealed that he was bullied to the core in school. Shit, I was bullied too and I probably would've made fun of his ass as well!

“I had no really close friend. I was always the new kid with the wrong shoes, the wrong accent. I didn’t have a friend to share things with and confide in.”

“The school took me to a psychiatrist to get tested. They said, ’Oh, he’s dyslexic.’ I’m labelled. It instantly put me into confusion. It was an absolute affront to my dignity.”

“I remember thinking, I’ve got to figure this out. What’s normal? Am I normal? Who’s to say what’s normal? I didn’t understand what ’normal’ is. It still doesn’t make sense.”

This explains a lot actually. I do feel bad for him, but he's done all this to himself. I'm sorry he was beaten down as a teenager, but his father should've beat his ass harder!

[IOL] [Thanks Pamela]

Naomi's Beatdown As Told By Puppets!

This is hilarious! It's Naomi Campbell beating down her maid as told through puppets! This is genius, because I love seeing Naomi the Crazy in action and I love puppets!

[Thanks Infobitch]

BREAKING NEWS: SPF Graduates to Juice!

Knowing Britney and Kfed that's probably Bud Light!

Brangelina Arrive in Namibia!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt secretly flew into Namibia, Africa yesterday morning with Maddox and Zahara. It is rumored that Angie will give birth in Namibia. She is due sometime next month.

The Namibian Broadcasting Corporation radio news yesterday quoted immigration officials confirming that the Jolie-Pitt family had arrived at Walvis Bay at around 06h30.

Sources in Europe earlier told The Namibian that the couple had flown out of Le Bourget airport in Paris in a private jet on Monday night - believed to be headed for Namibia.

Jolie is no stranger to Namibia.

The Oscar-winning actress spent time in the country in 2002 during the filming of the international feature movie on refugees, 'Beyond Borders', at Swakopmund.

Namibia is believed to hold particularly fond memories for Jolie.

It was here that she took legal custody of her adopted Cambodian son, Maddox, in March 2002.

At that time he was seven-and-a-half months old.

Last year Jolie adopted a little Ethiopian girl, Zahara, an orphan.

I hope that Katie Holmes can hold TomKitten in for just another month so that Baby Brangelina and Baby Alien King can be born on the same day! Surely, the earth would shatter into a gazillion pieces.

[Namibian.com][Thanks RitzyGal]

Who Would You Rather Dirty Dance With?!

Antonio Banderas was on MTV's TRL yesterday to promote his film Take the Lead which opens this weekend. He showed VJ Vanessa Minnillo some moves and they looked like they were having a hot time. You know he got a boner from her, because look what he has at home....



I mean...Melanie "My Face is Going to Fall Off By 2007" Griffith or that hot piece of ass Vanessa? Come on now...



I mean...it's just sad!

How Did This Photo Happen?!

Rachael Ray and Moby

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH retail-fashion princess is none-too-subtle about her extramarital affairs? First she carried on with the husband of one of her designers, then bragged about more bedfellows, including a big-mouthed ad exec.

Kimora Lee Simmons!

WHICH closeted local hockey pro is having a secret affair with a 19-year-old Latino hunk, who is rumored to sleep with "lots of old men" around town for money and gifts?

Hockey pro? I don't watch that shit and neither does Page Six! Wayne Gretzky!

WHICH daughter of a high-powered politician should be more careful about telling people of her raging cocaine habit? The misguided girl wrote an e-mail to pals saying, "I did blow all night - it was wild!"

Jenna Bush!

WHICH veteran rocker has a regular hooker he meets up with every time he visits Las Vegas? The man in question has been womanizing for years but hasn't a prayer of getting away with it for much longer.

Jon Bon Jovi

[Page Six] [3AM Girls]

Garth Brooks' Ex-Wife Kidnapped!

Although, she's not really a celebrity anymore...I'm covering this cause I love a good kidnapping story. Anyway, Sandy Brooks was taken at gunpoint after she cooperated with a bail bondsman who wanted to arrest a man that worked for her.

Sandy Brooks had allowed the bondsman onto her property Monday to apprehend the man, who was wanted on an outstanding warrant. The worker responded by drawing a weapon, forcing her into a car and ordering her to drive away, said Barry Lamb, undersheriff of Rogers County.

After driving for several miles, Brooks stopped the car and fled into a convenience store, Lamb said.

Quintine Cornelius Harper, 24, was arrested and charged Tuesday with kidnapping and weapons offenses, police said.

Sandy Brooks and Garth Brooks were married for 15 years. The couple have three children, but none were present at the time of the kidnapping, Lamb said.

Wait, so she escaped?! You mean there's no ransom and no police chase?! This kidnapping story blows! If you're going to be kidnapped at least do it right! Damn! Why did I even bother?!

[AP Wire][Thanks Stacy]

EXPLOSIVE AND SHOCKING NEWS ITEM OF THE DAY!

I hope she somehow missed CBS and fell to her death.

Read all the sordid details here

American Idol: Ryan's Beard

Kenny Rogers was American Idol's special guest for country night. Seriously, what happened to him?! That is NOT Kenny Rogers! It's not! That's some kind of impersonator. Actually, I think it's a Drag King!

But, the real HOT moment of the night was the banter between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest. During one of their usual stupid fights...Simon said to Ryan.

“Ryan, with respect, I’m not the one trying to look like someone out of ‘Desperate Housewives.’ Lose the beard.”




Yup, even Paula loves it.


We know what BEARD Simon's talking about! Ryan was SPEECHLESS. But you know that fag-hating Mandisa was freaking out on the inside. She was sitting next to Ryan and you know she wanted to bolt away from all the sins he brings!



Paula was still drunk!



Drunk!



DRIZUNK!



Ok, she's high AND DRUNK!



The singing was shitty as usual. Kellie Pickler addressed the "playing dumb" rumors by playing dumb.



Katharine McPhee is still gorgeous and hopefully will stay tonight!



Mandisa's ass still needs another stage and hopefully that dumb whore is the one going home tonight! She can take her fag-hating ways back to wherever she came from. Probably Ronald McDonald's womb!



Rachel Bilson from The O.C. refused to stand for the gay-hating Mangrossa. I knew I liked you for something Rachel!

The Dlisted Report

Nicolas Cage and 50 Cent will star in The Dance, a film based on the life of prison boxing coach Billy "The Kid" Roth. Once a successful prizefighter, Roth has spent more than 40 years as a volunteer boxing coach in Louisiana state prisons. Cage will play Roth, while 50 Cent will play an inmate the coach believes has the talent to be a contender -- the only hindrance being that he's serving a life sentence. [Variety]

Michelle Williams will join Woody Allen's latest film set in Paris. Story details are under wraps, but are said to being focused on young Americans in Paris. Shooting begins this summer in Paris. [THR]

Antonio Banderas has agreed to star in the lead role Conquistador. The story revolves around Cortes' internal and external struggles as he and a small band of soldiers arrive in the New World and bring about the violent destruction of the Aztec empire. Some scenes will be shot in the language of the Aztecs. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

The producer for Bones has finally found some new talent! - eisabrooke

McDonalds ad campaign for McRibs backfired. - El Bastardo

HAG. The other-other white meat. - Coffey007

Hot Slut of the Day!

Tawny Kitaen

Birthday Sluts

Pharrell Williams (33)
Elodie Bouchez (33)
Krista Allen (35)
Paula Cole (38)
Colin Powell (69)

Teri Snatcher NOT With Seacrest

Teri Snatcher told Access Hollywood that there's no way in hell she's dating Ryan Seacrest and would rather use a dating service.

She recently found a dating service business card in her handbag.

"...I didn't use it. Clearly, I haven't been using the right business cards. Everyone clearly knows about my pathetic, single, dating life right?!"

And what does she have to say for herself on being caught making out with that frog of a man?

"Well, I guess what's caught on film is caught on film and it would be hard for me to stand here and say that it wasn't me. I'm not a liar and I wouldn't do that, but I could say that I could still use the business card!"

The funny thing is that she didn't mention the $2,000,000 she received from Ryan in order to stage that kiss. I guess money and numbers aren't important to her! Furthermore, will she stop bitching about being single? Doesn't she know how pathetic she sounds. But I'm not sure which is more pathetic....caught fake kissing Ryan or bitching about being old and single?

[Queerty]

Parasite Hilton Quotes Galore!

In an interview with Elle Magazine, Parasite Hilton let her true feelings about Simple Life co-star Nicole Richie be completely known! She didn't hold anything back!
P on attention:

"She (Nicole) cannot stand being around me because I get all the attention and people really don't care about her,"
P on jealousy:

"I've been best friends with her since I was two, but when I brought her on to my show, she got very jealous and turned on me for no reason. It breaks my heart. She was my sister. She was the funniest person to be around and then she let the fame go to her head."

P on change:
"She's not the same person any more. I never want to speak to her again - ever."

P on the simple life:
"They want to do it with just me, but we're both under contract together. She has nothing else so she really wants to do it, but I don't."

P on r's book:
"It's really pathetic that she needs to use my name to sell something because she's obviously not enough."

She's a humble one, ain't she?

[ONTD]

Playboy Bows Down to Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba was fuming mad when Playboy released an issue with her on the cover of it. Playboy used a promo pictures from her film Into the Blue. Jessica didn't like the fact that her fans and others would think since she's on the cover that she's nude on the inside.

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has issued an apology to her and pledged to donate cash to her favorite charities. Jessica has forgiven them.

She issued this statement:

"In light of Mr. Hefner's personal apology for Playboy's unauthorized use of my photo on their cover, I have decided to discontinue my claims against them,"

"This was never about money, it was about setting the record straight about something that was done without my knowledge or consent,"

Wait is she gonna be in Playboy or not? I'm patiently waiting! I want to see this chick nude, but I'm also scared because it will probably turn me straight! Yeah right.

[Yahoo][Thanks Stacy]

I Love Seeing Priscilla Presley's Rock Hard Face!

These photos are of Priscilla at Johnny Vaughan's Breakfast Show in London. She's so youthful looking!

Who Should Replace Meredith Viera on The View?

It's pretty much a done deal, but Meredith Viera will replace Katie Couric on The Today Show at NBC just after Labor Day. Katie is expected to announce that she will move to CBS where she will helm The Nightly News and take part in 60 Minutes.

My question is...who should replace Meredith on The View?

I think they should get someone that will beat the shit out of Star Jones and make her cry.

Here are some choices and The View producers I hope you take note:

Kathy Griffin - Will Make Star Cry
Pete Burns - Will Make Star Cry
Janice Dickinson - Will Make Star Cry
Liza Minnelli - Will Make Star Crazy
Naomi Campbell - Will Kill Star

If any of those chicks turn it down, I'll take it. I'll do it for a $20 gift certificate to IHOP just so I can have the pleasure of calling Star a nasty-ass bitch to her face on a daily basis!

[FrontPageMag]

Afternoon Crumbs

George Clooney takes one in the mouth [Gallery of the Absurd]

Speaking of Clooney, he doesn't want HoHan's pasty ass [Egotastic!]

Britney gets new hair [A Socialite's Life]

Sienna Miller makes out with some fug chick [Just Jared]

Lisa Rinna shows off her new face [Hollywood Rag]

Suge Knight files for bankruptcy [TMZ]

Kate Beckinsale is Wonder Woman [IDLYITW]

Does Brad Pitt hate Paris? France this, he already hates Paris Hilton [Glitterati]

Seeing Brandy this way is not right [Crunk + Disorderly]

Ellen & Portia's Lovechild!

Kalan Porter and yes he's a DUDE!

[Thanks Buzz Kill]

Man Takes 40K Ecstasy Pills!!!

A 37-year-old man who prefers to be anonymous have doctors shocked after it was revealed he's taken about 40,000 ecstasy pills during his lifetime. The man took ecstasy between the ages of 21 and 30 and seven years later he is suffering short-term memory loss. At the height of his addiction he was taking 25 pills a fucking day! After collapsing several times, he stopped.

Basically, he's all screwed up now. Doctors said: "For a few months, he felt as if he was still under the influence of ecstasy and suffered several episodes of 'tunnel vision'.

"He eventually developed severe panic attacks, recurrent anxiety, depression, muscle rigidity (particularly at the neck and jaw levels)."

He also continues to have hallucinations and paranoid ideas.

It's totally Pete Doherty! I thought he looked rather old for his age.

[BBC][Thanks Citygirl]

Eat Your Heart Out Julia!

While Julia Roberts is starring in a Broadway show, brother Eric Roberts is up to bigger and better things! Here's Eric at last night's Phat Girlz premiere in Los Angeles. Eric co-stars with hot bitch Mo'Nique. That other chick is the films director.

Eric is kinda old, but he's still hot. Mo'Nique couldn't look any better!

Star Jones Returns to The View!

After her near-death breast lift, Star Jones returned to The View yesterday. Yeah, her tits looked better....but her face looked like a wreck! I think she had some more work done on her mug, because seriously she looked tighter Kelly Osbourne's corset.

She of course went on and on about her dumb surgery and cleared up the rumors that she almost died by saying she was fine and the next morning after her transfusion she was eating bacon and eggs. Can you eat that when you've had gastric bypass?

Joy Behar gave the usual looks like she didn't give a shit. Yeah, you and me both!

Let's hope that when Meredith Viera leaves the show to replace Katie Couric they hire someone that will kick Star's ass back to the planet she came from!

Click here to torture yourself more with video from the show!

[Defamer]

Brangelina Looking for Home in the Caribbean

Brangelina recently purchased a home in Normandy, France and are now hoping to add a Dominican Republic mansion to their collection. Brad has been spotted on the island with real estate agents and searching for properties. He also met up with the designers that did his L.A. home at a nearby hotel to discuss properties.

Angelina is due next month and is said to be giving birth in Africa.

A source said: "They've fallen in love with Africa and want to help as much as they can over there."

France, Africa, Caribbean...I can't keep up with these two. Poor little Maddox! That angel doesn't deserve to be dragged around the world. When he's older he better know like 15 languages.


[The Bosh]

George Clooney Ain't Mad at Gawker!

An e-mail from George Clooney's spokeswhore was sent out to high-powered PR bitches last week. The letter sent out was in response to Gawker Stalker, the site that lets you find your favorite celeb. George's response read like this:

"Flood their website with bogus sightings. Get your clients to get 10 friends to text in fake sightings of any number of stars."

"A couple hundred conflicting sightings and this website is worthless."

George's spokeswhore is now saying that was all a stupid April Fool's joke and wasn't mean to be released publically. They aren't sure how it got out!

Gawker had fun with it and promised prizes to anyone who sent in a picture of Clooney from their camera phone.

George's spokesbitch said this: "It's childish."

And I say this: "You're all retards!"

[Post Chronicle]

My Little Pony Parker is the New Vadge!

My Little Pony Parker is just like Fishsticks Paltrow. Both chicks don't know when to shut up! It's ok to keep some things to yourself, you know.

Like MLP should've kept this little secret of hers, a secret!

"Sometimes I read an entire book in my head in an upper-class British accent,"

I mean come on.....there's really nothing to say about that.

[Post Chronicle]

Boobwatch!

Chestica Simpson has blown wowed producers of the upcoming Baywatch feature and has apparently landed the lead role. Producers were so impressed with Ches's big-screen acting in Dukes of Hazzard that they have asked her to be in their movie.

Chestica will play a lifeguard in Venice Beach, CA and continue Pamela Anderson's legacy.

Producers are also hoping to bring back David Hasselhoff.

Let's be real it wasn't her acting abilities that impressed them. It was her GD breasts!

[ITV]

Britney Enrages the Little People!

Britney Spears hired "little people" to perform at KFed's birthday-trash-bash in Las Vegas.

At the party, hosted in a Las Vegas, Nevada restaurant, two female dwarves were reportedly employed to carry in Kevin Federline's 28th birthday cake, while another dressed as a miniature Sonny Bono alongside a Cher look-alike.

Horrified sources claim boozy guests giggled and cheered, with some jokingly suggesting a dwarf-throwing contest.

A dwarf group called America's Billy Barty Foundation is pissed!

"It is wicked to hurl abuse at anyone of diminished height simply because they are small.

"We know dwarves and midgets who are immense in stature because of their talent.

"Mostly they are able to rise above any insults. But inevitably, feelings are hurt by nasty comments. There's only one word for it - bullying."

It's kind of funny though. I'd like that at my party. Little people are fun and they make people laugh and have a good time! Besides, what do you expect from those pieces of trash! They aren't exactly the epitome of class and taste!

[Starpulse]

Thelma and Louise Reunite!

Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis had a sort-of Thelma and Louise reunion at The Matrix Awards in NYC last night. Damn, they still look hot!

Who is The Bigger Gay Icon?!

Liza Minnelli believes that if there was a contest between herself, Barbra Streisand and Cher on who was the bigger gay icon, Cher would win!

She said: "“I think probably Barbra and maybe even Cher and myself in school felt like outcasts because we didn'’t have standard looks,"

"Maybe what a gay icon is, is a person who is rooted for — in other words, cheered on, by people who feel different,"

So she's basically calling Cher, ugly?

And what's a Liza interview without a funny quote!

"One of my best friends is a taxi driver; another is a maintenance man,"

I think she means HER driver and HER maintenance man.

[MSNBC][Thanks Stacy]

Mother of the Year!

Sharon Stone recently sat in First Class on a trip and why shouldn't she? She's a big star and deserves first class service. So why did her 9-month-old son, Laird and his nanny sit in coach?

Her rep said: "First class was sold out,"

"She tried to get them seats in first class but couldn't, and she didn't want them on a separate plane."

Couldn't she have taken another plane or hold his ass?!

[Page Six]

Jennifer Aniston is Annoying

Jennifer Aniston and Catherine Keener were on The Today Show promoting their film Friends with Money which opens this Friday in the U.S. During the interview Jennifer had said that she doesn't mind giving interviews as long as the questions aren't about her personal life.

Well, looks like interviewer Jill Rappaport didn't a fuck about what she had to say....because Jill asked Jennifer about the rumors that she's going to marry Vince Vaughn at Oprah's mansion.

Catherine stepped in: "I thought you weren't going to go there,"

Jill responded with that she understood why Catherine was so protective but that she was merely curious, because she's never been to a lavish $8 Million wedding. Catherine responded again with:

"And now you won't be,"

Meow!

Why the hell is Aniston having Keener do her dirty work? And since when isn't she talking about her personal life? It seems to me that every other week she's on the cover of some magazine talking about how she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her and now suddenly she's shutting up. Let's ignore this chick for good and maybe she'll go away.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

John Stamos will join ER full-time next fall. Stamos recently had a guest stint on the show and proved so successful that producers have asked him to be a series regular. Stamos will reprise his role as Tony Gates, a flirtatious paramedic who also is a medical student and a Gulf War veteran. He first played the character in two episodes that aired during the November sweep. [THR]

Samuel L. Jackson has joined John Cusack in 1408, based on a Stephen King short story. Mikael Håfström (Derailed) will direct and Cusack stars as a debunker of paranormal occurrences who encounters real terror when he checks into the notorious Room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel. [Variety]

Sean William Scott (American Pie) will produce and star in Gary The Tennis Coach. The underdog comedy centers on an overzealous high school janitor (Scott) who begins coaching a group of misfits to the Nebraska state championship. Danny Leiner (Dude, Where's My Car?) will direct. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The TOP 5:

The first case of elephant toe - Jordan

What's gross? A large woman with beach camel toe.
What's grosser than gross? That was originally a one-piece. - Rabies

"don't fire a missile until he lets go of fay wrey!!" - Tim

"where did i put my class...? oh yah - it's hiding between my meat curtains." - Morticia

think I know where they hid Natalee Holloway. - bzbee







Click here for NSFW version!

[Thanks to Jessica]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Zoe Lucker from Footballers Wives

Birthday Sluts

David Blaine (33)
Jamie Lynn Spears (15)
Natasha Lyonne (27)
Heath Ledger (27)
Jill Scott (34)
Barry Pepper (36)
Nancy McKeon (40)
Robert Downey Jr. (41)
Graham Norton (43)
Hildi Santo-Tomas (45)
Hugo Weaving (46)
Christine Lahti (56)
Craig T. Nelson (62)
Maya Angelou (78)

Who the HELL is Kalan Porter!?!

What is Kalan Porter is the better question! A dude or a chick?!

Well, Kalan is the winner of Canadian Idol 2004 and yes it's a he! He's a 21-year-old singer and needs a sandwhich. Damn, I thought I was skinny! I think we should introduce this one to Clay Gayken! I bet you big-top Clay could work that shit out! Clay will top all the make-up off of this one!

Chad Michael Murray Thinks With His Dick!

One Tree Hill star and piece of shit, Chad Michael Murray, is apparently engaged to a crew member on his TV show. Rumors circulated a couple of weeks ago that Chad began dating 18yo Kenzie Dalton. People Magazine is now reporting that according to friends of the couple, they are due to get hitched.

Just last September Chad split with his OTH co-star, Sophia Bush, after only 5-months of marriage. The split was apparently due to Chad's wandering cock!

Seriously, this dude thinks only with his dick. I bet you his dick got on one knee, gave her a diamond ring and popped the question and a boner!

That's Kenzie below on the right next to that Miss Carolina chick. Poor thing is smiling now, but she has no idea she's about to screwed and not in a good way!



[People]

The Amazing Homo Race!

For those of you that watch The Amazing Race 9, you are pretty familiar with frat boys Eric & Jeremy. The self-proclaimed ladies man spend half of each episode talking about chicks and how many chicks they bang, etc... But this new photograph evidence proves that maybe they really are playboys..in the swinger sense.

The other two men featured are another team on AR. They are BJ and Tyler, the hippies from San Francisco.

Anyway, these pictures were taken when BJ and Tyler visited Jeremy and Eric in Florida. They were taken in February after they race and before the first airing.



Well, the hippies do kind of look like ladies. In a drunken stupor, that red head could be mistaken for HoHan.



What the hell kind of party is this and why wasn't I invited?



[Jaunted]

I Need a Weave!

I talk shit about weaves all the time on this site, but a weave can save your life!

Gunfire erupted inside a Bronx nightclub early yesterday, leaving one patron dead and two others wounded - including a woman whose thick hair weave snared the bullet that pierced a door and grazed her scalp, police sources said.

Glenda Clarke, 26, was in the ladies' room at the Flamingo Lounge when the pistol-packing patron opened fire just before 6a.m., the sources said.

The Baychester joint was sprayed with nearly a dozen 9-mm. bullets, including one that sailed through the rest room door, sources said.

The slug scraped the side of Clarke's head, then got trapped in her hair, sources said.

"It got stuck in her weave," a police source told the Daily News. "It was unbelievable."

More like unbeweavable! I guess Parasite Hilton, Posh Beckham, Jordan, HoHan and like 1,000 other celeb hos are safe for now. That's until they make a bullet that can get through polyester hair.

[NYDN][Thanks Citygirl]

This is a Billboard in New York City

Maybe it's just me...but why would you need a mattress if you never sleep?

[Adrants]

This is KFed in 10 Years!

Robert Downey Jr. celebrated his 41st birthday! I love him, but he's not looking so hot. Is he back on drugs? Because he looks it. Maybe he's not on drugs and that's what is making him a little crazy. Sometimes when hos get off drugs they become even freakier. Damn, I loved him in Ally McBeal!

Afternoon Crumbs

Vadge to shake her old snatch again this summer [Queerty]

Ryan Phillipe gets back on track [Just Jared]

Pamela Anderson really needs a nap [Hollywood Rag]

Taryn Manning all topless and shit [Egotastic!]

I need a slip n' slide [Cityrag]

Colin Farrell is above the law [IDLYITW]

Katie Couric to jump ship [Glitterati]

Posh Beckham gives Jordan a run for her money in the terrible highlights category [Gabsmash]

New York's Greatest Moments!

We're stretching out FOL:Season 1's 15-minutes! No explanation is necessary for this amazing greatest-moments of America's newest sweetheart!

[Gawker]

Kerry Katona Has Engagement Party at Best Western!

Kerry Katona is broke! Was she ever rich?

Kerry's recent engagement party to cab-driver Mark Croft was held at a local Best Western hotel. She has admitted that she doesn't have any money.

She said: "“People think I'’ve got loads of money. I might have a few pairs of Gina shoes but I'’m skint."

She lived the high life when she was married to Westlife singer Brian McFadden. They shared a multi-million dollar home together in Dublin. After their split Kerry was forced to move to a much smaller home.

To demonstrate even further how broke she is...she purchased her engagement party dress at a local market for $25!

I could've told you she was broke! First of all, she goes to Bargain Booze...second of all, she's been wearing the same tired weave for like 3 years now!



[Fametastic]

They are so Rock N' Roll!!!!

Avril Lavigne, Hilary Duff and their two boyfriends tried too hard to be totally cool while attending an April Fool's party. The funny thing is the party was actually held on April 2nd. You see they were the fools at the party only they didn't know it.

Oh and in the last picture...they tried up their cool quotient by adding an Asian guy. Everyone knows Asians are the coolest shit ever.

Scarlett Johansson to Play 14-Year-Old

22-year-old Scarlett Johansson has signed on to play Napoleon Bonaparte's 14-year-old lover in Napoleon and Betsy.

The screen beauty will play the teenage daughter of the French emperor's English captor during his exile in 1815.

Napoleon is said to have been captivated by Betsy despite the fact he was 32 years older than her.

But film bosses have refused to reveal whether the blonde starlet will have a sexual relationship with their Napoleon, who has not yet been cast.

What 14yo has breasts like that?! Dakota Fanning probably turned the role down.

[Female First]

Chris Daughtry is a Bird Killer!

The American Idol contestants are currently staying in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles. A neighbor called into Fox to complain that contestant and front-runner Chris Daughtry plays his music way too loud. She claimed that his music is so loud that it caused the death of her bird, Sweet Pea. The neighbor said that Sweet Pea must've gotten so stressed out from the loud noise that the bitch died.

Poor Sweet Pea!

Chris apparently feels bad about it, but his fellow contestants don't and have dared Chris to wear a shirt that says "R.I.P. Sweet Pea."

Personally, I don't think Sweet Pea's death came from Chris's loud music. It probably couldn't take that dumb whore Kellie Pickler's fake act! He died from annoyance!

[TMZ]

KFed Dance Off!

KFed was on a Dallas radio show on Friday and accepted a dance-off challenge with the show's star Kidd Kraddick. They battled it out on the popular video game Dance Dance Revolution.

It's not a surprise who won!



[Thanks Angela]

Pink Gets Sexy Online!

Pink and husband Carey Hart have only seen each other 3 times since marrying back in January, but she has found a way to keep her marriage alive and sexy. She revealed that she keeps things sexy by having hot online webcam sessions with her man.

She said: "Our relationship's been like that the whole time we've been together. We've been going out for four or five years and we would just meet in hotel rooms. Now we do the whole webcam thing."

Pink getting naked on webcam brings a new meaning to "my hard drive just crashed."



[LSE][Thanks Stacy]

Remember Silverchair?

Didn't that dude have anorexia and write a song about it? Here they are performing in Sydney a couple of weeks ago. He looks like the lovechild of Justin Timberlake and Chris Martin. I was never into their asses, but he looks so much hotter now than then. I'd hit that shit.

Flavor of Love: The Reunion

The Flavor of Love reunion went off according to plan. One of my friends noted that Jerry Springer should've hosted this shit and she was so right! The show started out with Lala (the host) bringing out the chicks that first got voted out and the ones we've totally forgotten about.


Continue reading "Flavor of Love: The Reunion"


One of my favorites was Picasso! Foofy named her Picasso, because she was an artist. Doesn't she look ectastic to be there?!



Who are these people?!



I mean was she the cleaning lady? They hardly got any screen time!



However, I totally remember Smokey! She seriously had two brain cells working overtime. I think she's related to Gina from America's Next Top Model.



Then they brought out Serious! Remember this ho? She was the one that kept talking about how she was a model and shit. She was sent packing on the show, because Red Oyster told Foofy she was only there to further her modeling career. Serious responded that she was a WORKING model and came on the show to get a date, not to get jobs. That if she wanted a job she'd go on America's Next Top Model. The only modeling she's been doing is on top of cars or on top of Ron Jeremy.



Oh and there's Rain! Gap-toothed, nasty breasted Rain! This ho would not keep her mouth shut! She was hardly on the show, but she screamed so much..even New York got annoyed with her. During the reunion she kept yapping and yapping...someone wanted screen time! And she needed to cover up those lopsided titties!



When Red Oyster came out...the girls flipped! This ho was known for being a secretive FBI agent! She was hot shit. Agent Red Oyster would leak Foofy information about the chicks...like how Miss Latin called her boyfriend from the house and how Serious was only in it for her career. Rain of course had to get more time in.



RAIN! You need to go to the denist, then the plastic surgeon's office and then the crazy house! Oh and stop by the weave factory before the denist.



One of the biggest bombshells came when LaLa revealed that Red Oyster was MARRIED during the taping of the show! She presented Foofy with the marriage certificate! Look at that dumb ho Rain in the back! Bitch thinks she has the comedy skills of Vince Vaughn by falling out of her chair during the announcement. I mean come on Rain!



Red Oyster explained that her marriage was over, but they hadn't divorced yet. Foofy didn't seem to care. I still love you Oyster!



Next came the emotionally wrecked Smiley! Looks like someone got new breasts! Someone also forgot to put their dress on over their slip!



And my gorgeous Hottie! If this isn't a postcard for a Tranny convention...I don't know what is!



Hottie was working it! She decided to channel Madonna by wearing diamonds on her fake eyelashes. Well Madonna's were diamonds, Hottie's are probably glass. Bitch probably is blind now from getting cut up with the glass on her eyelashes!



She was struggling through the interview with Foofy! You would think she had ants in her eyeballs! Hottie laid on the charm as usual even though Foofy called her "dumb."

I'll tell you one thing...Hottie may be a skank and a liar, but she is not DUMB! And that's a fact!



They honestly didn't spend much time with her. They should've devoted another full hour to Hottie and her madness.



When they brought out the lovable Goldie..that's when one of the first fights of the evening took place. Goldie said that she had no problems with the girls, but that Cherries needed to keep her name out of her mouth. Cherries was the first chick taken out of the house and bad mouthed Goldie. She was also one of the first chicks to practically dry hump Foofy. When Goldie brought up Cherries, she jumped out of her chair and went for an attack! Seriously, Goldie could turn Cherries into fucking preserves!



All of that boringness was only to help introduce the Queen of the Night: New York! Please also take the time to sign this petition for NY!



Why is she still wearing that tired rhinestone dog collar?! Seriously, couldn't Petco send her a new style? When she came out...Cherries immediately went off on her and it was on. New York put on her fightin' weave and was ready to beat as many bitch's asses as possible!



Then came Pumkin and the protection. New York made me laugh, because she told La La..

"I've been on pause since the show aired and now I'm ready to press play! Ask that bitch whatever you need to ask her so we can get this on!"

That's what I'm talking about!



When Pumkin was done being a dumb ho, New York pulled her polyester back and was ready to bring this up a level!



Hit that skank! What is that man doing?! Let that tranny take care of her!



Pumkin is a fucking wimp! Bitch ran faster than Whitney Houston from the cops!



This is where the Jerry Springer action began. I mean what's up with this set? The reunion taped at the Judge Judy studio..so they probably had these leftover. Each chick got 30 seconds to let it all out. New York only needed 10!



Damn! NY needs to place Halle Berry as Storm. She's got the moves! Watch Pumkin split!



DAMNIT! New York was so close to pulvarizing that skank! Honestly, I'm with Team New York!



Pumkin finds solace with gappy as they cackle at New York! Hateful witches! She said:

"I didn't come on Jerry Springer!" Um...no you didn't..Jerry has a classier show than this shit!



And then the fun was over when Hoopz was brought out. Talk about fake cunts. I hate that ho! She of course revealed that Foofy and her were no longer together. She's probably fucking Jada Pinkett. They belong together.



NY had to be held down the rest of the evening like a rotweiller in heat.



Yup, we agree with you NY!



And that brings this season of FOL to an end! Foofy did confirm that there would be a FOL 2. Just bring back New York and Hottie for the next season and it will all be good!

Note to Teri Snatcher

Oh Teri Snatcher! When someone looks like you in the face...don't ever stand next to somebody that looks like Julianne Moore in the face! I love Julianne so much! She's perfection and she has an effortless beauty! Teri however is the complete opposite!

Hey Fergie! Do They Have a Mask in All That Schwag?

Fergie cleaned up at the Pantene Lounge at the Juno Awards in Nova Scotia. It's funny that you'd wear a shitty ass wig to a Pantene event. What the hell is she wearing?! Is that one of Paula Abdul's old costumes from the 90s? Seriously. I want to love Fergie, but she just doesn't want to allow it.

Give Me That TomKitten Already!

Tom Cruise appeared on the German talk show Wettendass to promote being a freak. Actually to promote Mission Impossible 3: I Take Crazy Pills. During the show he confirmed that Katie is due any minute. Yeah, so it makes sense that he is in Germany.

He also admitted they know the baby name, but won't reveal.

You know they are just waiting for the surrogate to finally pop that baby out. I bet you anything Katie will look all skinny and shit a week after giving birth.

[People]

Basic Instinct 2 is a Huge Success!!!

Basic Instinct: Risk Addiction did surprisingly well at the box office this weekend! I literally thought it was going to bring in $20! But it surpassed my estimates and brought in just over $3 million coming in at #11! The flick opened on nearly 1,400 screens...so it had an average of about $2k per screen. Let's just say, it's a huge flop!

I saw this shit on Friday and it sucked ass. Sharon Stone looked hot, but chick needs to fire her plastic surgeon. Seriously her tits are like two rocks sitting on a board.

The Dlisted Report

The Simpsons the Movie teaser trailer ran during Ice Age 2 this weekend. Click here to view the trailer. The movie hits theaters July 27, 2007.

Paul Giamatti will play Santa in an untitled holiday comedy starring Vince Vaughn. Dan Fogelman wrote the script, based on an original story by Nelson. The Christmas tale revolves around Santa's black-sheep brother (Vaughn), who returns home to the North Pole after a long absence. [Variety]

Ice Age 2 set a March record bringing in $70.5 Million. Inside Man came in at #2 far behind with $15.7 Million. ATL also debuted this weekend with an impressive $12.5 Million coming in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

Kristin Cavallari (Laguna Beach) and Brittany Snow will star in Fingerprints. Snow stars as a girl fresh out of a rehab who moves back in with her parents and sister (Cavallari) and gets involved in an investigation of what has paralyzed residents. The story is loosely based on an urban legend involving haunted train tracks. Shooting begins this month in Oklahoma. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

Lisa Rinna and Nicolette Sheridan have taken lip enlargement to a whole new level... - Prico Latina

Even as a child, Barry was the most attractive Bee Gee. - Loozer

euro-disney sucks! - Tim


[Thanks Cinnamon]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Donny Osmond

[For Liz]

Birthday Sluts

Matthew Goode (30)
Amanda Bynes (20)
Jennie Garth (34)
Picabo Street (35)
Sebastian Bach (38)
Eddie Murphy (45)
David Hyde Pearce (47)
Alec Baldwin (48)
Tony Orlando (62)
Wayne Newton (64)
Marsha Mason (64)

Morrissey Quote of the Day!

on Pete Doherty:

"I think it is unfortunate that he is more associated with the media and the press and hoo-ha and the silliness than he is with music.

"It's a terrible trap and he's jumped straight into it. And Kate Moss has just dragged him down to her level."

[Thanks Stacy]

The Hottest Family on Earth!

It was a family affair at the Ice Age 2 premiere in the UK! Jordan brought her tits, her hubby, her son Junior and her sister. Where the hell is Harvey?! You know he would've loved that movie. That ain't right that Jordan brought everybody BUT poor Harvey. I hope he's ok, I'm praying for his ass.

Jordan's sister's weave is probably a hand me down. That thing looks fried! Jordan looks stunning as ever! I think she's got the spray-on make-up thing down! Junior is hot, but not as hot as our Harvey!







UPDATE - My angel, Harvey was there!!!!! There is a Jesus! [Thanks Kristi]

Prince on American Idol!

What the hell is Prince doing?! He must be desperate to keep his album on top. Seriously, that's fucking hilarious. I can't wait, because you know his people are totally making him do it. He's apparently only doing it, because when Barry Manilow was on his album sales went up.

A source said: "It wasn't easy though, because Prince apparently hates the show and has never even watched it."

I hope that dumb whore Kellie Pickler sings "Cream."

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Week: William Shatner

Age: 75
Birthday: March 22, 1931
Birth Name: William Shatner

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: March 31, 2006
Claim to Fame: Star Trek!

Where is he now? When he's not working for Priceline.com he's busy with other shit like Boston Legal and feature films.