Don't Feel Sorry For Them!

Jennifer Aniston and Nick Lachey are both on April covers bitching about their break-ups. Perhaps, those two should get together and go and cry in the corner.

[Thanks V]

Chestica Makes a Switch

Chestica Simpson has switched from her home at Columbia Records to Epic. She's been at Columbia since 1999 and her last album for them In This Skin sold an impressive 2.9 Million copies.

Simpson's move from Columbia to Epic, both of which fall under the Sony Music umbrella, mirrors that of new Epic president Charlie Walk, who formerly was executive VP of creative marketing and promotion for Columbia Records Group.

"I love all my friends and supporters at Columbia. I will miss them as I start this new relationship," Simpson tells Billboard. "Charlie Walk was my first hero at Columbia. He believed in me before I really even got to meet the rest of the company. I couldn't think of anyone I would trust more than Charlie to present my new music to the world. Epic is in a new place with a new leader. It just seems the right place for me as I begin my new journey."

She plans to release her latest album under Epic later this year.

What journey?! The only journey this one is making is to The Surreal Life house in like 3 years.

[Billboard]

Give Me a H! Give Me an O!

What's that spell?!

HO!!

Who's a ho?!

PAM!

Someone's Looking Stoned

Is Matthew Perry back on Vicodin?! Maybe he just smoked a joint.

[Thanks Pamela]

Tara Reid's New Man Ain't Half Bad

Actually, I think that's her dealer!

Tom Cruise is No Joke!

During their 2001 divorce, Tom Cruise tapped Nicole Kidman's phones. Nicole hired a detective named Richie Di Sabatino to sweep her phones to make sure she couldn't be tapped.

Richie said: "We swept her phones and put on an encryption device, so she couldn't be wiretapped . . . We tried to keep one step ahead."

Nicole still remained cautious. During phone conversations with friends, Nicole would stop and ask "Tom are you listening?"

Shit, I'm afraid to screw with Tom! That bitch is seriously nuts!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sly Stone

Birthday Sluts

Marcia Cross (44)
Katharine McPhee (22)
Amy Smart (30)
Juvenile (31)
Cathy Dennis (37)
Sarah Jessica Parker (41)
KC Sherman (46)
Elton John (59)
Aretha Franklin (64)

Say Something Nice

Sally Kirkland: Well....um...herr...um..well..yeah her tits look hot!

Chris Daughtry is a Rip-Off Artist

When Chris Daughtry sang a rock-inspired version of Johnny Cash's I Walk the Line, he impressed America and the judges. The judges praised him for taking a classic song and making it his own. But it seems that his "original" idea wasn't so original. Chris got his inspiration from the band Live's 2001 cover of the song.

Here is a small clip of Live's version. And below is a youtube of Chris singing pretty much the exact same version.



[Thanks Stacy]

KFed Has a Beautiful Heart!

According to his spokeswhore KFed has chopped off 10 inches of his hair and donated it to Locks of Love. He had 10 inches of hair?! That's bullshit! And what poor kid is gonna end up with that greasy mop?!

[Daily Dish]

Who Cares News Item of the Day!

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Tom Cruise welcomes you to Thetanland [Cityrag]

Nick Lachey's revenge fuck [Dirty Mascot]

Angelina Jolie doesn't want her man doing sex scenes [A Socialite's Life]

Kiki Dunst lets the flies in [Just Jared]

Those Carmen and Dave split rumors are quite persistent [Egotastic!]

Colin Farrell and Kate Moss belong together [IDLYITW]

Britney Spears drinks booze while preggers [Hollywood Rag]

Damnit! Somebody wire Jennifer Aniston's mouth shut [CAFP]

Jake Recycles His Beards

When Jake Gyllenhaal and Kiki Dunst split, they had to figure out how to share their two dogs Boo and Atticus. They have been sharing the dogs and some friends say that because of this they make get back together. You mean they might rekindle their "romance" for the sake of the dogs. How gay is that?! We are talking about Jake!

A friend said: "“They still see a lot of each other because of the dogs."

"“Maybe because of that, they haven't really moved on from each other so it'’s got to the point where they both feel maybe they should be together."

"“They enjoy the same things and are under the same pressures from their work so they might just make it work after all."


[Fametastic]

Courtney & Frances!

Courtney Love and Frances Bean attend L.A. fashion week. Courtney's lips reminds me of Parasite's swollen vagina after a 50-man gang bang. I will not talk shit on Frances since she is but a young girl! Ahahah, who am I fooling..she looks fug!

Nicole Richie in a Tutu

Nicole Richie's filming The Simple Life 4 in Los Angeles. I find it quite fascinating that a person could look like an 85yo woman and a 8yo boy at the same time. Very fascinating.

Don't Call Natalie Portman a Prostitute!

Natalie Portman thinks that woman who only do movies for money are basically hookers. She claims she only picks roles for their artistic merit.

She said: "I don't want to ever be working for money because then you are no different to a prostitute."

Producers take note! You don't have to pay Natalie Portman at all! Bitch will work for free!

[LSE]

The Janitor's on the Radio!

KFed dressed up to be a guest on the very popular Bert Show in Atlanta.

Penny Cruz's Fake Ass!

Penelope Cruz should be used to fake asses, she did date Tom Cruise. Anyway, for her new film Returning..she's been asked to put on a fake butt, because hers is too flat!

She said: "Penelope's breasts were fine for the part but it was felt that she needed more curves down below. To make Penelope perfect for the part, we decided to fit her with a false bottom."

Penny loved the falsey so much that she has begged them to let her keep it!

I know the real reason she was asked to don a fake ass. Her own is probably tore' up, because Matthew McConagay always likes to do her in the butt! It's probably the only way he can do it with a chick!

[Female First]

L.A. Fashion Week Brings Out the A-Listers!

Like LaToya Jackson who has just returned from playing one of the creatures in The Hills Have Eyes! Seriously, bitch looks like she's been exposed to some radiation. However, she stills look more natural than her brother!

Whorin' Themselves Out!

Buena Vista Games will announce today that they will release a computer game based on the ABC series Desperate Housewives this September.

Not only can you tap into the delicious secrets held by your naughty neighbors - including Bree, Lynette, Gabrielle, Edie and Susan - but shortly after settling into this cushy suburban neighborhood you'll also discover you were in a car accident 20 years ago and have been living with amnesia ever since. The goal of the game is to interact with the characters to unlock a few dark secrets of your own.

"As fans of the show would expect, the game is loaded with gossip, betrayal, murder and sex - you know, all the things women like," says Mary Schuyler, the producer of the title at Buena Vista Games.

Housewives, a dialogue-heavy mystery with an emphasis on social interaction and character customization, is geared toward female players. "There aren't a lot of games for women today, but this is one where women will really have a good time," Schuyler says. (The game will be rated for ages 13 and up.)

So they have a board game, perfume and now this shit?! What's next?! Blow-up dolls featuring the characters from DH? That would be more appropriate actually and those dolls would probably have more personality than the real characters!

[Yahoo]

Nick Lachey Used His Heartbreak to Write His Song!

If Nick Lachey's single What's Left of Me becomes a huge hit, he has Chestica Simpson to thank. Nick recorded the song the day that Ches told him she was divorcing his ass. He was planning to spend Thanksgiving with her in Texas until he received a phone call from her the day before.

He said: "The day before Thanksgiving, which was basically the day that Jessica told me she wanted to get a divorce."

He took his heartbreak and emotions to the studio where he recorded the song.

Poor thing. He's still trying to make something out of his music career?!

[IOL][Thanks Stacy]

Eh...Kinda Hot!

Haley Joel Osment showed he's all grown up at the premiere of the video game Kingdom Hearts II. He's only 18, so he has a little more time to hotten up. He still looks like he has downs though.

Only in Williamsburg

Any of you that live in the NYC area, know that the neighborhood called Williamsburg in Brooklyn is known for being too cool for school. I mean people walk around wearing snow white costumes with combat boots, because they are trying to be ironic. Anyway, it's no surprise that a gallery in Williamsburg is showcasing a monument to Britney Spears! It's their way of being ironic and irreverent. And it's basically just disgusting. Seriously, I don't want to see Britney's fat ass on a bareskin rug!

Click here to read the entire article and what the artist's have to say for themselves!

[Thanks to all who sent to me]

Randy Quaid Sues Brokeback Mountain Producers

Brokeback Mountain just won't go away! After the Oscars I thought we were finally done with that shit, but oh no...Randy Quaid isn't letting that happen! Randy is suing the producers of the film claiming they misled him by representing the film as a low-budget flick with no prospect of making any really money. That is of course not what happened. The film went on to gross $160 Million.

Randy claims that when he met with director Ang Lee, he was told: "We can't pay anything, we have very little money, everyone is making a sacrifice to make this film."

Randy is asking for $10 Million.

Please, he should be grateful they even asked his ass! And how were the producers to know the film was going to do well, it could've been a flop for all they knew! And why the hell did they ask him in the first place?! They must've been really impressed with his work in The Grubbs.

[TMZ]

Damn! Look at Oksana Baiul!

Oksana Baiul is seen here at L.A. Fashion Week yesterday. Looks like she's aged about 50 years. She looks like Scarlett Johansson's grandmother. I wonder if she still has that hot swan costume?

Mortimer?!

Fishsticks Paltrow is having a boy and plans to name him Mortimer after her Godfather Steven Spielberg. Fishsticks has nicknamed Steven "Uncle Morty."

Mortimer and Apple?! Jesus! Well, if Vaudeville ever makes a comeback these two already have the names for it!

[Page Six]

The International MI3 Poster

Why does everybody HATE Tom Cruise, but love his movies?

The Dlisted Report

Josh Brolin, Rose Byrne, Toni Collette, James Franco, Marcia Gay Harden, Mary Beth Hurt, Brittany Murphy, Giovanni Ribisi, Mary Steenburgen and Kerry Washington have all been cast in The Dead Girl. The story centers on the dark mystery surrounding a young woman's death, which is gradually revealed when the lives of seemingly uninvolved people intersect. Shooting begins April 17th in Los Angeles. [Variety]

Woody Harrelson will round out the cast in the title role of The Walker. Harrelson will play an escort of society ladies in D.C. Schrader said the character is his vision of what his "American Gigolo" protagonist would have become when he hit 50. Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Bacall, Ned Beatty, Willem Dafoe and Lily Tomlin are also in the cast. Shooting begins next week in the UK. [Variety]

Bridget Moynahan (I, Robot) will join Tim Robbins in the black comedy Noise. The film centers on a man who is being driven crazy by the noise in New York City. When the accumulated noise of New York City begins to grate on his nerves until he can't stand it any more, urbanite David Owen (Robbins) doesn't move out to Connecticut - instead he renames himself "The Rectifier" and becomes a vigilante, making war on car alarms that go off in the middle of the night. Shooting begins at the end of this month in New York City. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Ribbed for her pleasure - Jeff S

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mamie Van Doren

Birthday Sluts

Star Jones (44)
Lake Bell (27)
Alyson Hannigan (32)
Lara Flynn Boyle (36)
Sharon Corr (36)
Mase (36)
Annabella Sciorra (42)
Kelly LeBrock (46)
Tommy Hilfiger (55)
Curtis Hanson (61)
Bob Mackie (66)

What Kellie Pickler Wore to Her Prom

I knew American Idol's favorite girl-next-door, Kellie Pickler, was a whore deep down. Look at what she wore to her prom. I didn't know they did it like that in Albemarle, North Carolina!

And I'm pleased to announce that VotefortheWorst has chosen Miss Pickler to replace Kevin Covais as the worst!



[ONTD]

The Shopping Experience with Johnny Weir

Oh how I've missed him! Funny thing is, I haven't gotten his proposal yet. I'm sure it got lost in the mail!

[A Socialite's Life]

This is Paula Abdul's Man

Damn he's fine! There must be something wrong with him. Seriously, only a fool will go out with that looney tunes. Unless he's looking for some exposure. Yup, that's it! Paula's new man is hunky actor Tony Schiena. The two have been seen out on a few dates getting all cuddly and shit.

He was even in the audience of American Idol one night and was heard telling one of his pals: "Hey, she looks good, huh?"

He must've been talking about Simon Cowell.

Paula's rep insists they are just friends. I hope they aren't, because for her sake she needs somebody to fuck the crazy out of her.



[People]

Chloe Sevigny Shows Her Muffin!

Porn star Chloe Sevigny gets all nude and shit for Purple Magazine. I think she's trying to be all artistic and shit, but no matter how you slice it..chick is a whore.


Click here to see her all nude and shit! NSFW!



[click on image to enlarge]

Pamela Anderson Needs to Let Go!

Pamela Anderson recently freaked the hell out when Tommy Lee chopped all of her son's long baby hair off. Seriously, he was looking like a chick.

She said: "They've always had really long hair and Tommy saw them not too long ago and shaved both their heads.

"When they came back, I thought I was going to throw up.

"I didn't want to upset them, but it was like someone had cut my arm off. I mean, they wanted their heads shaved; they were happy. But they look like little boys now. They don't look like babies anymore."

He's 8 years old for hellsake! He shouldn't look like a damn baby!

[Contact Music][Thanks Stacy]

Afternoon Crumbs

Michael Douglas never looked so good [Popsugar]

Jake Gyllenhaal runs into a "friend" [Just Jared]

HoHan as Wonder Woman? [Egotastic!]

Paula Abdul almost got her ass fired [IDLYITW]

Kimbo Stewart and Courtney Love are BFFs [Hollywood Rag]

The Hilton sisters, cartoon style [WWTDD]

Aniston please take your yappy mouth to Chicago already [Glitterati]

Cher's new friend looks like he can rip out my vocal chords with his bare hands [Cityrag]

Pete Burns Gets Evicted...Again!

Pete Burns and his lover Michael Simpson were asked to leave the posh Hempel Hotel in West London after a dispute for a $15k bill that has gone unpaid. During the dispute, Pete called the police and an ambulance for himself. Seriously, this ho is nuts. Pete's lips were quite swollen and cut, apparently from a chemical peel earlier in the day. Pete greeted the cops in only a coat and some undies. He demanded the cops let him back into his room, because he needed his "pills." He also begged the paramedics to give him more pills. Witnesses say he was acting strange and confused.

Pete was then driven off by the coppers only in his undies.

You know the cops took turns on his ass!

[The Sun][Thanks George Alley]

Sharon Stone is a Vision in Gold!

MedusaSharon Stone is seen here at the German premiere of her movie Basic Instinct: Return of the Rusty Vagina. Sharon, wearing gold is not going to get you closer to Oscar.





[Just Jared]

TomKitten is NOT Here Yet!

Yesterday there were blog rumors that TomKitten was brought into the world in Toledo, Ohio. That proved not to be the case since TomKat stepped out last night for dinner and she's still very much pregnant.

Besides, I think we'll know when he's born...because the sky will open up and we will all be sucked into space. Furthermore, the second that baby is born Tom will appear on Larry King, Oprah, The View, Access Hollywood, Extra, The Today Show, The Dog Whisperer, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Conan and many more to announce the birth of the Alien Prince!

Did Isaac Hayes Really Quit South Park?!

Last night's season opener of South Park featured Isaac Hayes' character Chef meet his violent and untimely death.

In the opening show of the 10th series, the controversial religion is satirized again, as Chef is brainwashed by the thinly disguised 'Super Adventure Club' and reportedly depicted as a pedophile.

With lines patched together from previous episodes, Chef repeatedly tells children he wants to "make sweet love" to them before suffering a barrage of horrific accidents--including falling off a bridge, being burned, stabbed and mauled by wild animals--before dying.

At his funeral, characters express anger at his recent poor judgment, saying, "A lot of us don't agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days.

"Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us."

“Apparently referring to Scientology, another blasts "that fruity little club for scrambling his brains.”

According to FoxNews Isaac did not quit South Park. On January 17th he suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. He was in the hospital for three months. Friends say that he did not issue a statement at all. Apparently, the statement came from the Scientology Center itself. What?! This is some shady shit.

Please, Isaac released that statement...he's just nervous since the money ain't coming in anymore and he wants his job back!

[Fox News]

Kerry Katona is a Frozen Food Whore!

Because of my blurb on Kerry Katona yesterday, you guys have been sending me lots of great stuff on her ass. Seriously, I'm in love with her. Not only has Kerry screwed most of her girlfriend's boyfriends, but she will also put her face on just about anything. Pun intended. Kerry is the proud spokeswoman for a frozen food store in the UK called Iceland.

Click here to watch a funny commercial for Iceland featuring Kerry.

Kerry's like Tara Reid meets Patricia Heaton!

Win a Date With Fabio!

You know you want him! Couldn't they have put a real picture of Fabio's ass instead of a cartoon one! Below is a recent pic of him. He doesn't look so bad for being like ancient. I'd hit it.



[Thanks Kate]

Paula Abdul is the New Jennifer Aniston

American Idol viewers couldn't help but notice how strange Paula Abdul has been acting lately. Sometimes she's wacky and full of energy, spitting out mind-boggling questions and statements. And sometimes she's the complete opposite and looks like she can barely keep her eyes open.

She blames her behavior all on Simon Cowell. She said:

"He'’s worse than ever, If they say, ‘Paula is going crazy, the reason is Simon is whispering things in my ear, like, '‘What'’s the price of beans?'’ Things that make no sense at all."

Next she's going to blame it on her acid reflux and then she's going to say that she's sick and tired of being caught up in this "Bermuda Love Triangle."

[MSNBC][Thanks Stacy]

Madonnx Jolie-Pitt is the Prettiest Child!

Angelina Jolie's son Maddox has been voted the Prettiest Child in the World by InTouch Magazine. He beat out Brooke Shield's daughter Rowan and Julianne Moore's daughter Liv.

The Jolie-Pitt family are seen here leaving a French airport. They are rumored coming back home to the States after 2 months of traveling and living in Europe. They are probably heading back to settle in so Angelina can have her baby here.

Damn, Angie's huge! Maddox doesn't look so happy for being voted the hottest kid.

[SoFeminine]

Charlie Sheen's 9/11 Theory

Charlie Sheen has joined a group of people that truly believe 9/11 was an act by our own government. He doesn't believe there were such thing as hijackers. He said on The Alex Jones radio show:

"It seems to me like 19 amateurs with boxcutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75 percent of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions,"

"A couple of years ago, it was severely unpopular to talk about any of this. It feels like from the people I talk to, and the research I've done and around my circles, it feels like the worm is turning."

"Just show us how this particular plane pulled off these maneuvers . . . It is up to us to reveal the truth. It is up to us because we owe it to the families, we owe it to the victims, we owe it to everyone's life who was drastically altered, horrifically, that day and forever. We owe it to them to uncover what happened."

He went on to say that the collapse of the Twin Towers looked like a controlled demolition.

Charlie does have a point, however weren't they like trained bitches not just amateurs?! I mean I don't know enough to really take a side, but the bitch does have a few points.

[Page Six]

Pete Doherty Will Kick a Bitch!

Pete Doherty pleaded guilty to seven drug charges this morning in London. On his way out of the court house, chaos ensued. Pete went crazy and lashed out at a female reporter then kicked her ass!

Trudi Barber a reporter for Radio One was kicked in the elbow by Pete upon his exit.

She said: "It was total chaos here outside the court both when he arrived and when he left,"

"Afterwards he leapt over the railings outside the court. All of a sudden he lashed out, kicking me in the arm that was holding the microphone."

Pete then ran down the street like a mad man with the media chasing him. He got into his car and drove off nearly hitting another car on his way out.

I would advise Trudi to sue his ass, but that fool doesn't have a penny to his name!

[Washington Post]

KFed's Birthday Bash

Britney Spears threw her husband a 28th Birthday Bash in Las Vegas on his birthday two nights ago. They partied at Tao at the Venetian Hotel where they joined 10 of their closest friends and family. After dinner, the party headed to Pure nightclub where Britney danced barefoot all night with KFed by her side.

Click here to watch TMZ's video of Brit and KFed going into Tao

Au Revoir Kevin Covais!

Last night's American Idol finally got rid of the worst singer, Kevin Covais. Kevin who was nicknamed Chicken Little on the show was the target of the website Vote for the Worst which means just that. The website however didn't work and Kevin received the lowest number of votes and the teenager was sent packing to whatever hick town he's from.

A site called DialIdol which uses software that measures the busy signal for each contestant incorrectly predicted the booted contestant. They predicted that Bucky Covington, Lisa Tucker and Elliott Yamin would be the bottom 3 with Elliott going home. The truth is Kevin, Bucky and Lisa were the bottom three. So basically DialIdol sucks!

Now that Kevin is gone, I'm not sure who to direct my hate towards. I mean, I can't stand Kellie Pickler or Paris Bennett. I mean I know they can sing and all, but they just bug the shit out of me. I'm so sick of Kellie's "dumb as rocks" routine. Like last night when someone called her "ballsy" the idiot responded with..."What's a ballsy?" Bitch you've had enough "ballsy" in your mouth to know what it is!

And Paris is just creepy. You know she keeps dead animal bones under her bed. So about now, those two are fighting for my hate. I have a feeling they are sticking around for a while though.

Pilot Castings

Melissa George (Alias) has joined the trio of female leads in NBC's Lipstick Jungle. Gina Gershon currently is one of the leads with the final lead yet to be cast. The drama pilot is about three successfull New York City women who will do whatever it takes to get ahead. It is based on the novel by Sex and the City author Candace Bushenll.

Marcia Gay Harden (Pollock) will play the role of the therapist in ABC's drama pilot Drift about a NYPD detective suffering from insomnia. Jason O'Mara plays the lead role.

Betty Buckley (Eight is Enough) has joined the cast of Brothers & Sisters for ABC. The drama pilot is about a group of siblings who end up running the family business after their father dies. Calista Flockhart, Ron Rifkin, Rachel Griffiths and Balthazar Getty currently star.

Lou Diamond Phillips will play the adoptive father to Aquaman played by Justin Hartley. The CW pilot also stars Ving Rhames and Rick Peters.

The Dlisted Report

Julianne Moore will make her Broadway debut in David Hare's The Vertical Hour. The play is about a young American war correspondent turned academic who now teaches Political Studies at Yale. A brief holiday with her boyfriend in the Welsh borders brings her into contact with a kind of Englishman whose culture and beliefs are a surprise and a challenge, both to her and to her relationship. The play will open November 30, 2006. [Playbill]

Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen) has joined Michael Douglas in The King of California. "California" is a quirky father/daughter comedy about a teenage girl who must be the grown-up to her eccentric, unstable father. Their roles change when he manages to convince her that Spanish gold is buried under the Wal-Mart next to the Simi Valley development where they live. [Production Weekly]

CBS is working on a 6-hour prequel to 1989's Lonesome Dove based on Larry McMurtry's (Brokeback Mountain) novel. Steve Zahn, Linda Cardenelli, Val Kilmer and Rachel Griffiths are in the cast. The lead role played by Tommy Lee Jones in the original has yet to be cast. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

The Top 3:

Naomi: "The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club." - Pricolatino

Giving up on Motorola, Naomi Campbell is giving children a try. 'Let's see one of my assitants talk after getting hit with this," said Naomi. - Glen

Chihahuas : out - Maddoxes : in... - Grumpy


[Pic: Crunk and Disorderly]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Tiffany Trump - Daughter of Donald & Marla

[For Ruth]

Birthday Sluts

Chaka Khan (53)
Michelle Monaghan (30)
Keri Russell (30)
Natascha McElhone (35)
Poe (38)
John Bobbitt (39)
Richard Grieco (41)
Hope Davis (42)
Lori Petty (43)
Amanda Plummer (49)
Ric Ocasek (57)

The Claymates Speak!

Nine former fans of Clay Gayken filed a FTC complaint on February 17 2006 against recording companies RCA and SONY/BMG for false advertising and misrepresentation in the marketing and promotion of Aiken. Basically for not saying he's a big, fat, homo! Simon Cowell went on Larry King and called them "crazy." Here's how they responded:

"We are grateful that the merits of our complaint will be heard by the FTC instead of a pretend judge from a televised talent show."

"We have been dismayed to see our complaint characterized in the media as homophobic. That is not our intention and while central to our complaint it is regrettable that Mr. Aiken's sexuality has come under scrutiny. Our complaint is not about defaming Mr. Aiken or his sexual preferences. It is directed toward the deceptive practices of the record companies."

"This is part of a culture of institutional deception behind James Frye, Jason Blair, ENRON, Milli Vanilli, Ashley Simpson and now Clay Aiken. We believe that it is the difference between private behavior versus public responsibility."

"We await the FTC answer to our complaint and will have no further comment until that time."

Yeah...um...Simon was pretty much right. You bitches are nuts!

[Pressbox][Thanks Twisty Creek]

Sharon Osbourne is Celebrity Mother of the Year!

Sharon Osbourne was named Celebrity Mother of the Year in London, because she has raised two of the best crack heads in the entire world! Actually, I like Sharon when she keeps her mouth shut! She should fire her colorist though. Not even Joan Rivers would work that look.

Kerry Katona is the Hottest Shit on Earth!

Because of my fascination with Jordan and Alicia Douvall...I have been scouring the internet and mags for more of these chavs. In the past few months I have become enamored with one named Kerry Katona. Kerry was a bridesmaid at Jordan's wedding. So, they aren't rivals. Which is good. Anyway, Kerry came to fame when she briefly was a member of the UK pop group Atomic Kitten. Seriously, she was in the group for like 10 minutes. Her star grew when she married Westlife singer Brian McFadden and had two kids with him.

They have since divorced. Kerry became quite famous in the tabloids for being a coke whore, and alcoholic party girl. It wasn't only a month ago where she got into 3 bar fights in 1 week. I mean...this girl needs to be a star. Kerry is also currently engaged to a cab driver! How genius is that?!

Kerry isn't just a pair of fake tits either, she has a brain.

Kerry on smoking while preggers:

"When I was pregnant and I wanted a cigarette, my doctor said to just go ahead and have one because the stress of NOT having one is worse for the baby than cigarette inhalation."

Kerry on fame:

"I think a lot of people are jealous of my success. I'm open and dead nice to everyone and people take advantage. I am a normal person. Every story done on me has been done by a girl. Women are just bitchy. It'’s pure jealousy."

Kerry on coke:

"I'm in the papers with them saying my nose is falling off. It is a bit wide but I've never taken cocaine. Never in a million years."

Kerry on being photographed coming out of Bargain Booze:

"What happened was it was me nan's birthday that day and I went to buy her a bottle of whiskey. Also I hadn't spoken to my mum for a while and I bought her four cans (of beer) as a present.

"I also got 20 fags for each of them. Then all of a sudden, I hear I'm getting drunk at 11 in the morning."




Seriously, stay tuned for more on this ho!

Kiki Needs a Chestica Simpson Weave!

Damn this awful red weave Kiki Dunst is sporting for Spider-Man 3 is horrendous. Anyway in other Kiki news, her movie Marie Antoinette has been picked to screen and compete at Cannes in May.

The period piece was shot in France and is described as a stylized – and revisionist – account of a naive Viennese girl who, in 1774, became the queen of France at age 19 and was beheaded by 35. Jason Schwartzman costars as King Louis XVI, who also didn't fare too well in the French Revolution.

If she even gets nominated for an Oscar I will seriously eat my own pubic hair, that's a promise!

[People]

Unbeweavable!

Chestica Simpson is not stopping at only selling shoes, beauty products and clothes. She is going into the fake hair business. Yup, bitch is going to sell weaves with her fag hairstylist Ken Paves.

A source said: "They are going to have a rainbow of colors and styles,"

"There will be Jessica's signature blond, but also dark locks like Ashlee. There will be different price points, too."

Who is going to buy this shit? Even a $4 tranny hooker won't be caught dead in the rags that ho puts on her head.



[The Insider][Thanks H]

Pumkin Got Fired!

Brooke Thompson aka Pumkin from Flavor of Love has been fired from her job! Pumkin was a substitute teacher in Bakersfield, CA and has been removed from the school district's list, because they think she might be a distraction to the students.

Pumkin said that she think it's unfair of them, but her long-term goals were in entertainment.

Judging from this photo the only entertaining she'll be doing will involve a half-empty Corona bottle, one of her infamous spit balls, a seedy Tijuana strip club, her vagina and 5 Pesos.

[Mercury News][Thanks Danielle]

Afternoon Crumbs

Nick Lachey to get revenge [Popsugar]

Pictures from tonight's ANTM [Just Jared]

Brittany Murphy gets uglier by the second [Hollywood Tuna]

Angelina Jolie leaves Paris Hilton [Hollywood Rag]

Thanks Tom Cruise, for everything [Glitterati]

Kylie Minogue's comeback [Egotastic!]

Pink wants a pole [IDLYITW]

Thanks to the Chicago Tribune for featuring my ass [Chicago Tribune]

Jordan's Fantasy Wedding!

Jordan and Peter Andre continue to whore themselves out for OK! Magazine. Here they are at Disney World in Florida where they plan to renew their vows in September even though they've only been married for like 2 years. Who renews their effin vows after two years?! Looks like this time Disney is footing the bill. Seriously, I'm surprised she hasn't sold pictures of her ovaries to OK! Magazine yet. Bitch looks hot though.



Even 10,000 balloons can't lift her iron tits off the ground!



Tranny and the Fag!



We get it with the balloons already! Jesus! Harvey acts more grown-up than her ass!



Can it get any gayer?



Yeah it can






[JJB]

Because I Know How You Guys Cream Over Wentworth!

He's leaving his New York hotel, go and find his ass! He still does nothing for me!

Melanie Griffith Quote of the Day!

on MelanieGriffith.com


"I don't care if people think I'm a dumb, blond, or stupid, or an overage actress, or over the hill. I don't care because I'm gonna have a very successful Internet company, and I'm gonna have $100
million in the bank and I don't really give a shit what anybody thinks!"

[Thanks Susana]

Are You Supposed to Use Your Celly Near the Pump?

I hate Kristin Cavallari. I really wish the like waves from her phone set off the gas and blew that bitch up!

[Thanks to CasualFriday]

And This is Surprising .... Why?

American journalist Mark Binelli was caught by surprise when during an interview for Rolling Stone with Pete Doherty, Pete openly did heroin and crack in front of him.

Mark said: "Over the next three hours, Doherty will also smoke crack, shoot heroin and take an ecstasy pill.

"He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us. He offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I decline.

"The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes incoherent, though occasionally he seems confused."

I would be more surprised if he didn't do crack in front of me.

[Contact Music]

Someone Put a Pie in Her Mouth!

Eva LongWHORIA just wants to clarify that her boyfriend Tony Parker is not bad in bed. She previously said that she was the "teacher" in the relationship, because Tony has had only one sexual partner.

But she insists she was misquoted: "When the lights are out, he's the teacher and I'm the student."

Is she still yapping? I guess she didn't get the message that all of us wanted her to keep her slut mouth shut!

[Contact Music]

Parasite Gets a Ride!

Even this new high-powered vibrator can't satisfy Parasite Hilton's loosey goosey vagina.

Actually, she was filming a scene for her retarded reality show The Simple Life in Los Angeles yesterday. Why couldn't her dress get caught in that thing and drag her slut face down the street?

Tina Turner to Sing Bond Theme

Tina Turner last sang the theme for Goldeneye and she may sing her second Bond theme. Producers are apparently courting the singer to put together the theme for Casino Royale.

The creators want a stellar song to accompany the new Bond, Daniel Craig. They have been disappointed with past songs by Vadge and Garbage.

Too bad they didn't want her ass as a Bond girl, now that would be some hot shit.

[Entertainmentwise][Thanks Stacy]

Maybe She's Covering Up Her Foot Warts!

She Should Wear That Thing More Often!

Camilla, Duchess of Cornbeef had to wear that thing on her head and bare feet while her and Prince Charles visited Egypt. She actually doesn't look that awful. Probably, because that thing distracts from her nasty face! Awww...I kind of her like. She has a kind heart.



[Thanks Scott]

Nobody Wants That Tired Ole' Thing!

Joan Rivers tried to find love on Match.com, but nobody wanted her burnt plastic face! She probably would've got more action on Gay.com.

She said: "“We were hoping to meet Mr. Right. We didn't even get a wink."

"Maybe there is somebody sitting out there in the east side of New York,"

What's this "we" shit? Her and Melissa? Gross, you know they tag team dudes all the time.

[MSNBC]

TomKat's Baby Sponsored by Yahoo

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes made a visit to the Yahoo headquarters in Sunnyvale, CA. Tom was asked to speak in their cafeteria. I'm not sure what he talked about, but Yahoo probably owns 35% of the fetus now.

Dude Looks Like a Patient

Steven Tyler undergoes throat surgery for an undisclosed medical condition this week. Aerosmith has already cancelled the rest of their tour so that Steven can heal. He will be unable to sing for 3 months after his surgery.

Their spokeswhore said: "Despite Aerosmith's desire to keep the tour going as long as possible, Tyler's doctors advised him not to continue performing to give his voice time to recover,"

She would not elaborate on his condition. There were rumors that he has throat cancer.

[Page Six]

Will This Ho Ever Take Blame?!

Jennifer Aniston does nothing but whine and bitch. Her latest rant is about the failure of HER film Rumor Has It. The film starred Aniston as a woman who finds out that her family was the inspiration for the film The Graduate. She starred with Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mena Suvari and Mark Ruffalo.

She said that the original script had her intrigued, but now she regrets it.

"The worst experience of my life, the worst experience, the worst film. It sounded like a great idea, an interesting backdrop for a romantic comedy. But it was never fleshed out, never fully realized.

"And for me personally, I was going through a horrible time. I wasn't at my best as an actor. I was unmotivated by it. Why talk about it? We can let that little train go by."

Yeah exactly...why talk about it? Because bitch you love to complain about everything!

[SF Gate][Thanks Stacy]

The Dlisted Report

Director Robert Luketic (Legally Blonde) has currently been busy casting the Dallas movie. However, he has chosen 21 as his next project to direct. "21," based on Ben Mezrich's best-selling nonfiction book "Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions," revolves around a group of young men who become experts in the art of card counting. It is unclear as to whether Luketic has left the Dallas project. [THR]

Will Smith will star in the big screen adaptation of the 1968 TV series It Takes a Thief. Smith will play a charming rogue who is blackmailed by the government into doing covert larceny for the good of his country. The film will put the professional thief in the employment of the CIA. The script is currently being written. [Variety]

Molly Shannon is in final talks to star in Year of the Dog. Shannon, who's in final negotiations, will portray a happy-go-lucky secretary who lives alone with her pooch and must deal with the pet's unexpected death. Mike White (School of Rock) will write and direct. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

After gang-banging Paris, the UK Rugby team came to know the sting that comes with having your dick in her diseased vagina. - Zandra

[Photo: Towleroad]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Beth Smith from Dog the Bounty Hunter

[For Alana]

Birthday Sluts

Matthew Modine (47)
Cody Gifford (16)
Reese Witherspoon (30)
Elvis Stojko (34)
Cole Hauser (31)
Lena Olin (50)
Fanny Ardant (57)
Andrew Lloyd Webber (58)
William Shatner (75)
Stephen Sondheim (76)

The Hottest Man Alive?

by Lahoma00

The slut pictured below is one Ben Richards, star of the most intelligent and dramatically provocative series ever, Footballers Wives.



I feel like Ben is the hottest man that's ever lived! I just can't stop looking at him! He's the most handsome man in the world since Lorenzo Lamas!



Do you sluts agree? I can't wait until Joan Collins comes on the show and these two bitches start interacting. You know that whore probably tried to fuck him behind the scenes!

Where is the Old Bai Ling?!

Bai Ling participated in L.A. fashion week by strutting her shit in the Alan Del Rosario show. Alan Del Who?! Yeah, I know. Anyway, I miss the old Bai. The old Bai would never do this unless the dress was made out of Red Vines, Used condoms and Jiffy pop containers. Seriously, will someone get her OFF the medication. I miss the old Bai. Bitch has nice breasts though.

The Ugliest House in the World

Prince has upset his landlord, NBA player Carlos Boozer, by painting his house with some ugly shit. Prince is renting the West Hollywood home for $70,000 a month and has painted the title of his album 3121 and that fugly Prince symbol on the exterior of the home.

Carlos is pissed so he's suing his dumb ass. Apparently, Prince had purple stripes painted on the house and installed a purple monogrammed carpet in the master bedroom.

Lawyers for Prince countered the suit with proof that Boozer had collected his rent without complaint, and the lawsuit was dismissed, though the Smoking Gun says Boozer can file again on the same grounds.

This shit still isn't as ugly as when Vadge painted red and blue stripes on her gorgeous mansion!

[People]

Double the Whore

Jello wants Eva LongWHORIA to star with her in a new film. Jello already has the script ready which is about two Hollywood stars who are sisters and have a falling out then dish about each other to the press.

Jello thinks this comedy will put her back on top and thinks that Eva's the one to star alongside her. Shooting begins this September.

Yeah great idea Jello! Let's take the worst actresses in Hollywood and have them act next together! I'd probably see more emotion from a flaccid penis.

[Sky News][Thanks Melba]

Put Some Clothes on Woman!

Mimi showed off her new body while shooting more scenes with Snoop Dogg for her Say Somethin' video. Snoop was unable to go to Paris so Mimi came to him and then he probably came on her. Seriously though, her body is looking hot and no those aren't painted on abs! Bitch has been working out non-stop like she says. Yeah ok, they are painted on.

The Akward Hug

Tom Cruise forced his poor daughter, Isabella, to hug him in front of the cameras during one of her games. Poor girl! You know even she gets creeped out by him. He's totally whispering to her:

"You better hug me or you don't get to sit shot gun on the mothership"

Damn! Tara Lipinski is All Grown Up!

Thank God that girl grew up and got hot. Because she was pretty unfortunate looking when she was younger. I couldn't stand her squeaky ass voice! Look at ass now! Here she is at L.A. fashion week!

Afternoon Crumbs

Fat dude eats Jay-Z and Beyonce [Gabsmash]

Naomi Watts and Liev Schrieber splitsville? [Egotastic!]

Christina Aguilera is coming to haunt us [Hollywood Tuna]

Kristen Cavallari is slutting it up [Hollywood Rag]

Brad Pitt emerges after wedding rumors [Just Jared]

I want Eva LongWHORIA to shut her yapper now [IDLYITW]

Dog the Bounty Hunter to get hitched [Glitterati]

Angelina Jolie is bonkers [Popbytes]

Like Mother Like Daughter...

WTF did this ho do to her face?! Melissa Rivers is half a nip away from looking like her mother's twin! Seriously! These dumb skanks think it makes them look younger, but bitch looks old enough to be her mothere's sister!

Star Jones and Gay Al are in the Hospital!

Star Jones has admitted to InTouch Weekly that she had a breast lift last week, but complications from the surgery put her in the hospital.

In Touch has learned that in addition to having a breast lift, the View host - who has lost 150 pounds over the past two-and-a half years - also had a tummy tuck to remove excess skin.

Her rep, Brad Zeifman, confirms that Star had the breast lift. "She is recovering wonderfully," he says.

In Touch is told Star is now recovering in a private clinic in LA. The View is in reruns all this week.

I can't believe Star actually admitted to this shit. I would expect her ass to lie and say she was having a tumor rumored so she could get some sympathy from her crazy fans. While she's in the hospital she should also due us all a favor and have her shit euthanized.

And apparently, Gay Al also landed in the hospital!

On the same weekend that Star was taken to the hospital, her husband, Al Reynolds, 37, needed stitches in a head wound after falling while working out in a New York gym. "He was taken to the emergency room where doctors administered several stitches," says Zeifman.

Yeah the stitches were probably to put his asshole together, because it tore apart during his 30-dude gay bang!

[National Ledger]

Maybe You Were Drunk When You Read the Script!

Liza Minnelli was shocked to find out what her role really was when she started shooting on the film The O in Ohio which stars Mischa Barton and Parker Posey. The movie is about a woman (Parker) who is in search of her first orgasm. Liza apparently didn't read the script and knew nothing about it. She agreed to do it when her friend Parker, asked her. She plays a sex therapist in the film.

She said: "When I got the script I cannot tell you how embarrassing it was. It was all about self-gratification... I was so embarrassed."

Let me translate that for those of you that don't know drunk-talk: "When I got the paper with the words on it I was loaded! Then they told me it was about touching yourself and I was like 'I was married to a fag, I'm an expert at that!'"

[Yahoo]

Sharon Stone Go Away!

Sharon Stone has slammed claims that Basic Instinct 2 promotes sexual recklessness and contradicts her AIDS activist message.

The film contain Sharon involved in several sexual situations including orgies and threesomes without protection.

She said: "What does that (being an AIDS activist) have to do with my film? Nothing.

"I'm playing a sociopath. I also have lots of thoughts about guns, but if I was playing a bank robber I'd have one.

"You play the characters that you're in and you play them fully and completely. I'm glad that I'm having an effect. (If) you see me and think I should put on a condom and be responsible about sex."

This dumb twat! I'm so sick of her ass. This movie hasn't even come out and she's already whored herself out more than Jenna Jameson! Seriously, she needs to pack up her old vagina and go on vacation!




[IOL]

Crackheads Unite!

Could this be the world's next power couple?!

Pete Doherty was seen giving Mike Tyson a private concert in a hotel bar in London. Pete pulled out his guitar and played for the boxing moron. Mike apparently loved it.

A witness said: "They were getting on really well so Tyson asked Pete to play some songs for him. Pete always has an acoustic guitar with him so he played two or three Babyshambles numbers."

"He got a great response. Tyson loved every minute of it and gave Pete a round of applause."

The pair are planning to honeymoon in Thailand.

[The Sun][Thanks Maria Elena]

Cameron Diaz is the New Bette Midler

Cameron Diaz is such a good person that after she finish shoots on her new movie Holiday in London, she picks up the trash around her when they shoot outdoors.

A source said: "After shooting was over, she'd always leave the set picking up any stray litter or papers that were left behind, "

She should pick those fucking nasty zits on her face instead.

[3am Girls][Thanks Maria Elena]

More Like a Strip Club!

Lisa Rinna was so touched with her experience on Dancing with the Stars that she plans to open a dance studio with her DWTS partner Louis Van Amstel in Los Angeles.

She said: "I was so moved by (the experience) that it has to be part of my life.

"It transformed my body, it's fun and invigorating."

She even convinced Louis to move from Utah to L.A. in order to open the studio. The pair are currently looking for the perfect space.

She didn't even win the show! How is she going to market it?! Home to 4th Runner-Up from Dancing with the Stars!

[Hollywood.com][Thanks Stacy]

Is Colin Farrell Off the Sauce?

Colin Farrell is currently in NYC filming Pride and Glory. According to sources on the set, Colin has completely sworn off alcohol during filming. This is a complete turn around since he was a party mess on the Miami Vice set a few months ago.

But Colin apparently misses his partying days, because during morning filming in front of Scores nightclub....Colin jokingly banged on the door for them to let him in. Unfortunately they don't open until 7pm.

Please, he's not off the sauce. He's probably just keeping it on the down low. You know he's putting a little somethin' somethin' in his morning coffee.

[Page Six]

It's Cher!

Cher made a rare public appearance at yesterday's L.A. fashion week. I personally think she looks hot. A little sleepy, but hot. I mean give her a break, she's like 100 years old.

$1,500 to See This Crap?!

Barbra Streisand is apparently putting together ANOTHER farewell tour. She previously said goodbye to her fans in 2000. However, she's probably getting greedy again because she's putting something new together.

She will reportedly be paid $2 Million per show with the best seats going for $1,500. She is set to do only 20 shows and they are currently looking for an opening act. Rod Stewart, Neil Diamond and Andrea Bocelli have all declined her offer.

Another source said: "The big worry is, 'Can Barbra lose the extra 50 pounds she's put on?' She feels that confirming the dates is the only thing that will make her lose the weight."

50 pounds?! Damn, she's go the Janet Jackson way. I think she should get Clay Gayken to open for her ass. That would be the gayest event in the history of everything gay!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Shohreh Aghladashlo (House of Sand and Fog) will join Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider) in Nativity as St. Elizabeth. The story will focus on the events leading up to the birth of Jesus, including Mary's visit with Elizabeth while both were pregnant. Castle-Hughes play Mary. Shooting begins this May in Italy and Morrocco. [Variety]

Ron Howard will direct Last Man Home. Set in the days just before President George W. Bush launched full-scale war in 2003, the story revolves around a covert U.S. military unit that is on the hunt for an AWOL American soldier in Iraq. The soldier is looking for his brother, who went missing when fighting in the first Gulf War. He will reteam with his Da Vinci Code producer, Brian Grazer. [Variety]

Rod Lurie will direct Josh Hartnett and Samuel L. Jackson in Resurrecting the Champ. Hartnett will play a young reporter who finds a homeless man who he thinks is a famous former boxer. But the fighter, with whom he has developed a close relationship, proves not to be the former champ. Filming begins June 19th in Calgary. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Smell cheese! - Muriel

Hot Sluts of the Day

Hoops & Yoyo

[For Grietje]

Birthday Sluts

Matthew Broderick (44)
KFed (28)
Ananda Lewis (33)
Rosie O'Donnell (44)
Kassie DePaiva (45)
Gary Oldman (48)
Timothy Dalton (60)

What the Hell is Sharon Stone Talking About?!

"You date somebody and three months into the relationship you get the flu and he's so furious, and he goes to his front-row seats at the basketball game without you because he doesn't want to be with the person who gets the flu,"

I think she's giving her dates more than the flu.

Faye Dunaway is a crazy bitch!

by Lahoma00



Dlisted has managed to get its hands on a hot property---a recording of Faye Dunaway leaving an irate message on someone's answering machine. I don't know what the context is, but it sounds like Faye's pissed that some reporter didn't talk about her "brilliant" performance in Don Juan Demarco (!), but rather focused on "Mommie Dearest and that Lloyd Webber thing." Bitch should know those were her career highlights, along with Supergirl!



Faye Dunaway is a brilliant comedienne, so this tape is more precious to me than a cocaine laced dick is to Tara Reid.

Listen to this bitch!

Jennifer Keaton is All Grown Up!

Tina Yothers showed up at the TV Land Awards the other night. Our little girl has grown up! She still looks the same, but I think she had a little nip on the nose! I'm not hating her though. Mallory was always the beauty.

Liza Minnelli Belongs in the Crazy House

FourFour has put together several of the "best moments" of Liza Minnelli's interview on Larry King. Liza is currently promoting the DVD release of Liza with a Z. I'm killing myself that I didn't catch this, because chick looks nuts. Please tell me someone slipped her a mickey before her interview, because she's out of it.

Not since my sister ate a pot cookie have I seen so much unnecessary giggling. FourFour chopped it all up into many clips, so it might not make sense...but he insists it never did.

One of the best parts comes when she says "I work with retarded children."



[FourFour]

Jodie Marsh Has Millions of Pictures of Penises

Jodie Marsh is one of the biggest pieces of trash in the entire world. She's famous for being a skank, which I have no issue with. She recently said that she has pictures of all her ex-boyfriend's dicks!

She said: "I have Polaroid'’s of all my boyfriends' willies, including Kenzie and Calum Best."

"They're for blackmail purposes to make sure they don't sell stories about me."

But the biggest question is..Jodie do you have a picture of your own "willy"?

The pictures are of Jodie reneacting scenes from The Aviator.



[Entertainmentwise]

Afternoon Crumbs

Swan Brooner is on the verge [FourFour]

Parasite and Nicky have a conversation [Cityrag]

Juliette Lewis is one sexy mofo [Hollywood Tuna]

Natalie See, Natalie Do [Just Jared]

Hollywood's lip injections [Hollywood Rag]

JLove has a stalker [IDLYITW]

Where's Britney's bump? [Popbytes]

A member of Boyzone married another dude [Queerty]

The Kurt Cobain Action Figure

Looks like Courtney needed more drug money.

Click here for the truly awful press release.

[ONTD] [Thanks Stacy]

Someone Got a Tit Job!

[After & Before]

Kimberly Stewart's new boob job makes Tara Reid's breasts look utterly natural! She should've saved the money on her rack and fixed her face instead!

[Thanks JulieP]

From Power Ranger to Porn Star!

Billy Masters website reports that former Red Power Ranger, Austin St. John is now doing gay porn! Austin played Jason/Red Power Ranger from 1994 to 2002. Looks like times are tough because he can now be seen as Brock on the Sean Cody porn site.

And bitch has eaten a lot of roids, because he's built up!

Click here to see "Brock" in the buff and click here to see "Brock get blown!"






[Thanks Glenn]

Chastity Bono......and...Tom Cruise?

Chastity Bono has said that she was in Tom Cruise's apartment the day she told her mother, Cher, she was a raging lesbo!

Chastity said: "“Mum did not comfort me with kisses and cuddles because it was not the family way. Instead she sent me to a therapist."

She also says that her mother begged her to leave Tom Cruise's apartment and go to her.

The bigger question is...what the hell was Chastity doing at Tom Cruise's house? I can't even figure out what to say about these two. Shit, Cher probably wanted her to leave Tom's apartment because she didn't want her to get even more gay!

[The Scoop] [Thanks Maria]

Paris Back With Paris

Parasite Hilton was spotted cuddling up to X-boyfriend Paris Latsis at L.A. club Pivilege last weekend. This has fueled the rumors that Parasite and Nachos are officially over.

Well, this is good news for us. By Parasite fucking someone she's previously done means that the herpes and God knows what else stays in her circle of fucks!

[3AM Girls] [Thanks mealcala]

Natalie Portman Gets Bumped!

When I was flipping through the recent Vanity Fair with Teri Snatcher on the cover, I was totally thinking to myself "Why is Natalie Portman not on the cover?" Well, she got bumped because the editors thought Teri's story about being touched when she was a little girl was powerful enough to put her on the cover.

A source said: "It's practically unheard of for someone like Portman to be profiled in a magazine and not have the cover. At her level, it's cover or nothing. Her p.r. and the studio behind 'V for Vendetta' must have flipped but, in the end, decided it was better to have her in the mag than not. Needless to say, I'm sure they're outraged."

Good work Teri!

[Page Six]

Brangelina Didn't Get Marred This Weekend, But...

This fugly ho did! Lizzie Grubman finally found a man that was mentally unstable enough to marry her annoying and super-duper fugly ass! Honestly, who marries this bitch?! He probably has money troubles or something!

Looking chic in a white Chanel ensemble, publicist to the stars Lizzie Grubman, known to television viewers from the MTV reality series "PoweR Girls," exchanged vows with Chris Stern beneath the shelter of a Chuppa on March 17, 2006. Following the intimate, 20-minute afternoon ceremony, which was conducted in the father of the bride's upper East Side apartment, family and friends convened for a celebratory lunch at Fred's. This elegant eatery is located on the ninth floor of New York's shopping mecca, Barney's.

A more lavish reception for over 200 guests was held the next evening at Cipriani 42nd St., which is housed in the Roaring Twenties-era Bowery building.

Hmm...it's good to know that Cipriani lets dogs in! I'm always looking for a nice lunch spot to take my chihuahua!

[Lovetripper]

Who Cares!!!!?!!!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not get married this weekend.

There was increased speculation that the two were going to tie the knot near George Clooney's home in Lake Como, Italy. Media outlets from all over the world descended into the small Italian vacation spot to hopefully break the biggest wedding of the year.

Even the Mayor of the town admitted she was on-call for a high profile wedding. She said: "I'm afraid I can't tell you who, but I have been asked to keep the registrar's office open longer than usual."

This is like the 10th time that rumors of the two getting hitched have surfaced. Please, those bitches are probably already married. Shit, I'm over it! Ok, not really.

You know Jennifer Aniston is fucking pissed, because she already had a statement ready to be released on how you you shouldn't feel bad for her and how she's a strong woman, blah blah blah...

[Hecklerspray]

Jordan in Vogue

Out little girl has made it! Jordan was featured in the Vogue with that fugly Jennifer Aniston on the cover. Seriously, they should've given Jordan the cover. If you get a chance, check it out. It's all about her breasts! Four full pages of nothing about her breasts.

Jordan also talked out her upcoming fiction novel she's putting out this summer. When asked what her writing process is, she said she simply talks into a recorder!

"I'’m not going to say I sit there with a pen and paper. I don'’t think anyone does that do they?"

Seriously, this slut is genius!

She's Gonna Be So Broke Soon!

Tori Spelling better watch it, because bitch is gonna get disinherited! Tori has apparently pissed off her parents, Candy and Aaron Spelling by mocking them in her new show, So NoTORIous. In one episode Tori makes fun her mom's eBay room. Seriously, her mother has a whole room in their huge mansion devoted to all the things she buys on Ebay. Candy also has a room devoted to wrapping presents. Seriously, bitch has a problem.

A source said: "Her mother has a huge shopping problem and has a whole room dedicated to the stuff she buys on the site. When Candy saw the episode, she threatened Tori and said she was going to sue her."

Friends of Tori say that she and her mother have had a strained relationship for quite some time. Candy recently kicked Tori out of the apartment that Tori's been living at, but Candy owns!

Tori better watch her ass, because seriously she needs her parents money when her sitcom so FLOPS!

[Page Six]

How Does He Do It?

Brandon Davis has apparently moved on from Mischa Barton by dating the extra-hot Camilla al-Fayed. Camilla is the 21yo Harrods store heiress who briefly did an internship at Vogue. The two have been seen at several functions being all lovey and shit.

Seriously, Camilla is one of the hottest chicks I've seen in a long time. How does this Pillsbury dough boy get the chicks?!!

[Page Six]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH scandalized sweetheart demands that her bedmates perform an ultra-raunchy sex act that would seem to belie her good-girl image?

Chestica Simpson

WHICH married former Olympic ski champ had a steamy tryst with another woman at the Torino olympics?

Johnny Weir

WHICH junior socialite just had unprotected, coke-fueled sex in the bathroom of a Lower East Side hipster bar?

Lydia Hearst

[Page Six]

Nicole Richie Offends a Boy!

Nicole Richie has apparently upset the parents of an 11-year-old boy during filming for The Simple Life 4 in Los Angeles. Nicole was being filmed when she stopped the boy who was playing on his driveway and asked him if he thought she was attractive. Nicole was pushing a baby carriage when she used graphic terms and a profane word when she asked the boy if he thought she was hot. The boy's father refused to sign a release form and instead complained to producers.

Nicole's spokeswhore refused to comment.

What kind of profane word do you think she used? God, people are so touchy. However, they are probably trying to push buttons with this already sinking reality show.

Oh and the boy in the picture above is not the boy she pissed off!

[People]

Donald Trump is a Daddy...Again!

Melania Knauss has sealed her fortune by giving birth to a baby boy! This is Donald Trump's (59) 5th child by 3 baby mamas and this is Melania's first. The name of the baby is currently not known.

Donald had this to say: "Everyone's perfect. She's very happy and it's really great."

"I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young,"

Melania ain't about to be a stay-at-home-mom. She's already hired a full-time nanny.

UPDATE - According to CNN, the baby's name is Baron William Trump!

[People] [Thx Brian]

The Dlisted

Penelope Cruz will play the lead role in the English-language Bollywood film Passion India. Javier Moro's original novel ("Indian Passion") was inspired by the true story of Anite Delgado, a 17 year old flamenco dancer from Andalusia who scandalized two countries in the early 1900s when she agreed to marry an Indian maharaja and settle in his native land. Shooting will take place in Spain and India. [Production Weekly]

V for Vendetta was #1 at the box office with $26.1 Million. Failure to Launch dropped to #2 with $15.8 Million. The Shaggy Dog came in at #3 with just over $13 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Susan Sarandon is in talks to play Cindy Sheehan in a biopic about the grieving mother of a young soldier who became a political football. [SF Chronicle]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

unfortunately, after this picture was taken, waylon then let his young son drive home. - Tim


[Thanks Jordie]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Irene Marie

[For SeanD]

Birthday Sluts

Spike Lee (49)
Michael Rapaport (36)
Holly Hunter (48)
William Hurt (56)
Carl Reiner (84)

Hot Slut of the Week: Jessica Walter

Age: 65
Birthday: January 31, 1941
Birth Name: Jessica Walter

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: March 13, 2006
Claim to Fame: Dozens of TV shows, but found fame when she played a crazy bitch in Play Misty for Me.

Where is she now? Just finished playing rich bitch Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She's a hot actress and still sexy at 65.

There's Must've Been a 2-For-1 Sale at Supercuts!

Britney Spears showed off her new Courtney Love doo while entering a recording studio in Los Angeles. She also carefully hid her growing bump, because bitch is knocked up. Later that night KFed also showed off his new doo while the pair had dinner at Koi. This look is a total downgrade for Brit and a total upgrade for KFed. I mean, I'd still hit it!

On that note, there's some issues with pictures today...so I'm gonna go to Ikea and hope that when I return everything's back to normal and I can post more shit.

Super Long Blind Item...I Guess...You Guess

From The Mirror in the UK:

A HOLLYWOOD superstar performed a sex act on himself while enjoying a massage, a hotel worker has claimed.

The American A-list actor is said to have dropped his towel and exposed himself to the stunned masseuse.

The woman claimed he then carried out the "disgusting" act in front of her in the hotel spa.

The star - who cannot be named for legal reasons - was on a golfing holiday with his wife and staying at the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews, Scotland.

The masseuse, 34, told an industrial tribunal she felt "abused" by the actor's actions.

She said: "It was disgusting and, even though he was a Hollywood superstar, I couldn't believe he thought he could get away with something like that. He abused me and I considered that a criminal act.

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"When I was giving his wife a massage afterwards, I wanted to tell her everything."

The woman - who is claiming unfair dismissal against Old Course Ltd - told the Dundee tribunal she had given the actor a massage the day before during which he had touched her back.

She said: "The next day he came back and asked how I was. He asked if he made me uncomfortable by touching me, but I said no, I was a professional and you have to learn to deal with difficult clients. I asked him how he liked his massage and he said he liked it sweet. I thought it a strange term to describe a massage.

"He asked me if I was comfortable touching him everywhere and I said no.

"Throughout the massage, he kept putting his hand underneath his towel but he never kept it there long enough for me to suspect anything.

"Then I moved to the top of his body to massage his head."

She told the tribunal the actor grabbed her wrist forcefully, whipped off his towel, exposed himself and performed the sex act.

The woman said she left the room but a colleague went inside and saw what had happened.

The worker claimed she was treated differently by her bosses after she complained about the alleged incident in 2004.

She said: "While before I was seen as a model worker, now they were questioning everything I did." She was sacked in August last year and is claiming sexual discrimination and unfair dismissal. The tribunal was adjourned until May.

I say definitely Michael Douglas!!!

Kid Rock Quote of the Day!

"I'M not stupid. I know I'm not getting girls off my good looks. When I'd sold 50,000 records, I was [having sex with] fat chicks in Virginia. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth, I know what I look like"

My Name is Cameron Diaz and I'm a Complete Idiot

Want to know why Cameron Diaz stopped eating pork? It wasn't because she thinks piggies are cute and it wasn't because she thinks pork has more calories than other meats. Then what's the reason pray tell?

Because she once heard that pigs have the same mental capacity as a 3-year-old child.

Yup, I guess this ho is as dumb as she looks!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Ami Foster aka Margeaux from Punky Brewster

Birthday Sluts

Bruce Willis (51)
Rachel Blanchard (30)
Michael Bergin (37)
Neil LaBute (43)
Harvey Weinstein (54)
Glenn Close (59)
Ursula Andress (70)