Dlisted: 03/19/2006 - 03/26/2006

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Don't Feel Sorry For Them!



Jennifer Aniston and Nick Lachey are both on April covers bitching about their break-ups. Perhaps, those two should get together and go and cry in the corner.

[Thanks V]

Chestica Makes a Switch



Chestica Simpson has switched from her home at Columbia Records to Epic. She's been at Columbia since 1999 and her last album for them In This Skin sold an impressive 2.9 Million copies.

Simpson's move from Columbia to Epic, both of which fall under the Sony Music umbrella, mirrors that of new Epic president Charlie Walk, who formerly was executive VP of creative marketing and promotion for Columbia Records Group.

"I love all my friends and supporters at Columbia. I will miss them as I start this new relationship," Simpson tells Billboard. "Charlie Walk was my first hero at Columbia. He believed in me before I really even got to meet the rest of the company. I couldn't think of anyone I would trust more than Charlie to present my new music to the world. Epic is in a new place with a new leader. It just seems the right place for me as I begin my new journey."


She plans to release her latest album under Epic later this year.

What journey?! The only journey this one is making is to The Surreal Life house in like 3 years.

[Billboard]

Give Me a H! Give Me an O!



What's that spell?!

HO!!

Who's a ho?!

PAM!



Someone's Looking Stoned



Is Matthew Perry back on Vicodin?! Maybe he just smoked a joint.

[Thanks Pamela]

Tara Reid's New Man Ain't Half Bad



Actually, I think that's her dealer!

Tom Cruise is No Joke!



During their 2001 divorce, Tom Cruise tapped Nicole Kidman's phones. Nicole hired a detective named Richie Di Sabatino to sweep her phones to make sure she couldn't be tapped.

Richie said: "We swept her phones and put on an encryption device, so she couldn't be wiretapped . . . We tried to keep one step ahead."

Nicole still remained cautious. During phone conversations with friends, Nicole would stop and ask "Tom are you listening?"

Shit, I'm afraid to screw with Tom! That bitch is seriously nuts!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!



Sly Stone

Birthday Sluts



Marcia Cross (44)
Katharine McPhee (22)
Amy Smart (30)
Juvenile (31)
Cathy Dennis (37)
Sarah Jessica Parker (41)
KC Sherman (46)
Elton John (59)
Aretha Franklin (64)

Friday, March 24, 2006

Say Something Nice

Sally Kirkland: Well....um...herr...um..well..yeah her tits look hot!

Chris Daughtry is a Rip-Off Artist

When Chris Daughtry sang a rock-inspired version of Johnny Cash's I Walk the Line, he impressed America and the judges. The judges praised him for taking a classic song and making it his own. But it seems that his "original" idea wasn't so original. Chris got his inspiration from the band Live's 2001 cover of the song.

Here is a small clip of Live's version. And below is a youtube of Chris singing pretty much the exact same version.



[Thanks Stacy]

KFed Has a Beautiful Heart!



According to his spokeswhore KFed has chopped off 10 inches of his hair and donated it to Locks of Love. He had 10 inches of hair?! That's bullshit! And what poor kid is gonna end up with that greasy mop?!

[Daily Dish]

Who Cares News Item of the Day!





[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Tom Cruise welcomes you to Thetanland [Cityrag]

Nick Lachey's revenge fuck [Dirty Mascot]

Angelina Jolie doesn't want her man doing sex scenes [A Socialite's Life]

Kiki Dunst lets the flies in [Just Jared]

Those Carmen and Dave split rumors are quite persistent [Egotastic!]

Colin Farrell and Kate Moss belong together [IDLYITW]

Britney Spears drinks booze while preggers [Hollywood Rag]

Damnit! Somebody wire Jennifer Aniston's mouth shut [CAFP]

Jake Recycles His Beards



When Jake Gyllenhaal and Kiki Dunst split, they had to figure out how to share their two dogs Boo and Atticus. They have been sharing the dogs and some friends say that because of this they make get back together. You mean they might rekindle their "romance" for the sake of the dogs. How gay is that?! We are talking about Jake!

A friend said: "“They still see a lot of each other because of the dogs."

"“Maybe because of that, they haven't really moved on from each other so it'’s got to the point where they both feel maybe they should be together."

"“They enjoy the same things and are under the same pressures from their work so they might just make it work after all."


[Fametastic]

Courtney & Frances!



Courtney Love and Frances Bean attend L.A. fashion week. Courtney's lips reminds me of Parasite's swollen vagina after a 50-man gang bang. I will not talk shit on Frances since she is but a young girl! Ahahah, who am I fooling..she looks fug!

Nicole Richie in a Tutu



Nicole Richie's filming The Simple Life 4 in Los Angeles. I find it quite fascinating that a person could look like an 85yo woman and a 8yo boy at the same time. Very fascinating.

Don't Call Natalie Portman a Prostitute!



Natalie Portman
thinks that woman who only do movies for money are basically hookers. She claims she only picks roles for their artistic merit.

She said: "I don't want to ever be working for money because then you are no different to a prostitute."

Producers take note! You don't have to pay Natalie Portman at all! Bitch will work for free!

[LSE]

The Janitor's on the Radio!



KFed dressed up to be a guest on the very popular Bert Show in Atlanta.



Penny Cruz's Fake Ass!



Penelope Cruz should be used to fake asses, she did date Tom Cruise. Anyway, for her new film Returning..she's been asked to put on a fake butt, because hers is too flat!

She said: "Penelope's breasts were fine for the part but it was felt that she needed more curves down below. To make Penelope perfect for the part, we decided to fit her with a false bottom."

Penny loved the falsey so much that she has begged them to let her keep it!

I know the real reason she was asked to don a fake ass. Her own is probably tore' up, because Matthew McConagay always likes to do her in the butt! It's probably the only way he can do it with a chick!

[Female First]

L.A. Fashion Week Brings Out the A-Listers!



Like LaToya Jackson who has just returned from playing one of the creatures in The Hills Have Eyes! Seriously, bitch looks like she's been exposed to some radiation. However, she stills look more natural than her brother!



Whorin' Themselves Out!



Buena Vista Games will announce today that they will release a computer game based on the ABC series Desperate Housewives this September.

Not only can you tap into the delicious secrets held by your naughty neighbors - including Bree, Lynette, Gabrielle, Edie and Susan - but shortly after settling into this cushy suburban neighborhood you'll also discover you were in a car accident 20 years ago and have been living with amnesia ever since. The goal of the game is to interact with the characters to unlock a few dark secrets of your own.

"As fans of the show would expect, the game is loaded with gossip, betrayal, murder and sex - you know, all the things women like," says Mary Schuyler, the producer of the title at Buena Vista Games.

Housewives, a dialogue-heavy mystery with an emphasis on social interaction and character customization, is geared toward female players. "There aren't a lot of games for women today, but this is one where women will really have a good time," Schuyler says. (The game will be rated for ages 13 and up.)


So they have a board game, perfume and now this shit?! What's next?! Blow-up dolls featuring the characters from DH? That would be more appropriate actually and those dolls would probably have more personality than the real characters!

[Yahoo]

Nick Lachey Used His Heartbreak to Write His Song!

If Nick Lachey's single What's Left of Me becomes a huge hit, he has Chestica Simpson to thank. Nick recorded the song the day that Ches told him she was divorcing his ass. He was planning to spend Thanksgiving with her in Texas until he received a phone call from her the day before.

He said: "The day before Thanksgiving, which was basically the day that Jessica told me she wanted to get a divorce."

He took his heartbreak and emotions to the studio where he recorded the song.

Poor thing. He's still trying to make something out of his music career?!

[IOL][Thanks Stacy]

Eh...Kinda Hot!



Haley Joel Osment showed he's all grown up at the premiere of the video game Kingdom Hearts II. He's only 18, so he has a little more time to hotten up. He still looks like he has downs though.

Only in Williamsburg

Any of you that live in the NYC area, know that the neighborhood called Williamsburg in Brooklyn is known for being too cool for school. I mean people walk around wearing snow white costumes with combat boots, because they are trying to be ironic. Anyway, it's no surprise that a gallery in Williamsburg is showcasing a monument to Britney Spears! It's their way of being ironic and irreverent. And it's basically just disgusting. Seriously, I don't want to see Britney's fat ass on a bareskin rug!

Click here to read the entire article and what the artist's have to say for themselves!

[Thanks to all who sent to me]






Randy Quaid Sues Brokeback Mountain Producers

Brokeback Mountain just won't go away! After the Oscars I thought we were finally done with that shit, but oh no...Randy Quaid isn't letting that happen! Randy is suing the producers of the film claiming they misled him by representing the film as a low-budget flick with no prospect of making any really money. That is of course not what happened. The film went on to gross $160 Million.

Randy claims that when he met with director Ang Lee, he was told: "We can't pay anything, we have very little money, everyone is making a sacrifice to make this film."

Randy is asking for $10 Million.

Please, he should be grateful they even asked his ass! And how were the producers to know the film was going to do well, it could've been a flop for all they knew! And why the hell did they ask him in the first place?! They must've been really impressed with his work in The Grubbs.

[TMZ]

Damn! Look at Oksana Baiul!



Oksana Baiul is seen here at L.A. Fashion Week yesterday. Looks like she's aged about 50 years. She looks like Scarlett Johansson's grandmother. I wonder if she still has that hot swan costume?





Mortimer?!



Fishsticks Paltrow is having a boy and plans to name him Mortimer after her Godfather Steven Spielberg. Fishsticks has nicknamed Steven "Uncle Morty."

Mortimer and Apple?! Jesus! Well, if Vaudeville ever makes a comeback these two already have the names for it!

[Page Six]

The International MI3 Poster



Why does everybody HATE Tom Cruise, but love his movies?

The Dlisted Report

Josh Brolin, Rose Byrne, Toni Collette, James Franco, Marcia Gay Harden, Mary Beth Hurt, Brittany Murphy, Giovanni Ribisi, Mary Steenburgen and Kerry Washington have all been cast in The Dead Girl. The story centers on the dark mystery surrounding a young woman's death, which is gradually revealed when the lives of seemingly uninvolved people intersect. Shooting begins April 17th in Los Angeles. [Variety]

Woody Harrelson will round out the cast in the title role of The Walker. Harrelson will play an escort of society ladies in D.C. Schrader said the character is his vision of what his "American Gigolo" protagonist would have become when he hit 50. Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Bacall, Ned Beatty, Willem Dafoe and Lily Tomlin are also in the cast. Shooting begins next week in the UK. [Variety]

Bridget Moynahan (I, Robot) will join Tim Robbins in the black comedy Noise. The film centers on a man who is being driven crazy by the noise in New York City. When the accumulated noise of New York City begins to grate on his nerves until he can't stand it any more, urbanite David Owen (Robbins) doesn't move out to Connecticut - instead he renames himself "The Rectifier" and becomes a vigilante, making war on car alarms that go off in the middle of the night. Shooting begins at the end of this month in New York City. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!




Ribbed for her pleasure - Jeff S

Hot Slut of the Day!



Mamie Van Doren

Birthday Sluts



Star Jones (44)
Lake Bell (27)
Alyson Hannigan (32)
Lara Flynn Boyle (36)
Sharon Corr (36)
Mase (36)
Annabella Sciorra (42)
Kelly LeBrock (46)
Tommy Hilfiger (55)
Curtis Hanson (61)
Bob Mackie (66)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

What Kellie Pickler Wore to Her Prom



I knew American Idol's favorite girl-next-door, Kellie Pickler, was a whore deep down. Look at what she wore to her prom. I didn't know they did it like that in Albemarle, North Carolina!

And I'm pleased to announce that VotefortheWorst has chosen Miss Pickler to replace Kevin Covais as the worst!



[ONTD]

The Shopping Experience with Johnny Weir



Oh how I've missed him! Funny thing is, I haven't gotten his proposal yet. I'm sure it got lost in the mail!

[A Socialite's Life]

This is Paula Abdul's Man



Damn he's fine! There must be something wrong with him. Seriously, only a fool will go out with that looney tunes. Unless he's looking for some exposure. Yup, that's it! Paula's new man is hunky actor Tony Schiena. The two have been seen out on a few dates getting all cuddly and shit.

He was even in the audience of American Idol one night and was heard telling one of his pals: "Hey, she looks good, huh?"

He must've been talking about Simon Cowell.

Paula's rep insists they are just friends. I hope they aren't, because for her sake she needs somebody to fuck the crazy out of her.



[People]



Contact
michaelk@dlisted.com
moderator@dlisted.com
Michael K on MySpace



The Forum

Shop


Archives

01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005

01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005

02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005

02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005

02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005

02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005

03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005

03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005

03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005

03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005

04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005

04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005

04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005

04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005

05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005

05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005

05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005

05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005

05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005

06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005

06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005

06/19/2005 - 06/26/2005

06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005

07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005

07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005

07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005

07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005

07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005

08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005

08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005

08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005

08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005

09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005

09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005

09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005

09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005

10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005

10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005

10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005

10/23/2005 - 10/30/2005

10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005

11/06/2005 - 11/13/2005

11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005

11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005

11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005

12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005

12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005

12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005

12/25/2005 - 01/01/2006

01/01/2006 - 01/08/2006

01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006

01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006

01/22/2006 - 01/29/2006

01/29/2006 - 02/05/2006

02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006

02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006

02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006

02/26/2006 - 03/05/2006

03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006

03/12/2006 - 03/19/2006

03/19/2006 - 03/26/2006

03/26/2006 - 04/02/2006

04/02/2006 - 04/09/2006

04/09/2006 - 04/16/2006

04/16/2006 - 04/23/2006

04/23/2006 - 04/30/2006

04/30/2006 - 05/07/2006

05/07/2006 - 05/14/2006

05/14/2006 - 05/21/2006

05/21/2006 - 05/28/2006

05/28/2006 - 06/04/2006

06/04/2006 - 06/11/2006

06/11/2006 - 06/18/2006

06/18/2006 - 06/25/2006

06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006

07/02/2006 - 07/09/2006

07/09/2006 - 07/16/2006

07/16/2006 - 07/23/2006

07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006

07/30/2006 - 08/06/2006

08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006

08/13/2006 - 08/20/2006

08/20/2006 - 08/27/2006

08/27/2006 - 09/03/2006

09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006

09/10/2006 - 09/17/2006

09/17/2006 - 09/24/2006

09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006

10/01/2006 - 10/08/2006

10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006

10/15/2006 - 10/22/2006

10/22/2006 - 10/29/2006


Links
Best Week Ever
Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux
Concrete Loop
Crunk and Disorderly
FourFour
Golden Fiddle
Hollywood Rag
Popsugar
SwimAtYourOwnRisk
Answer This
Barbie Martini
Blogebrity
The Bosh
Brit Boy LA
Cake and Ice Cream
cat.lebrity
Celebrity Nation
Celebrity Smack
The Deli
Drunken Stepfather
Egotastic!
Fatback and Collards
Gabsmash
Gallery of the Absurd
The Gossipist
Hollywood Tuna
IDontLikeYouInThatWay
I'm Not Obsessed
In Case You Didn't Know
Jossip
Just Jared
Lainey Gossip
Manhattan Offender
Miss TLC
News8
Pink is the New Blog
Nightcharm
Nosy Snoop
OH NO!
The People We Love to Hate
Popblogging
Popbytes
Popped Culture
The Post Chronicle
Rhymes With Snitch
The Skinny Website
Smart
A Socialite's Life
Splash News
Tabloid Whore
Thighs Wide Shut
TMZ
Truth, Beauty, Love and Elisa
Yeeeah!
Young Black and Fabulous
City Rag
Communicatrix
Conversations About Fashion
GetFlix
Happy Hour Liz
If Jack Could Talk
It's Not Chick Porn!
Kill the Buddha
My Looking Glass
Purple Twinkie
Rachel Marsden
Yeah, I live in Worcester
Completely Naked
Dan Renzi
Made in Brazil
Ohlala Paris
Naked Boy Chronicles
Parisian Boys
Scott-O-Rama
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Totally Joshness
Towleroad
Assistant Atlas
The Bling Blog
Church of Annette
Confessions of a Casting Director
Don and Murph
Give Me My Remote
Movie Picture Film
My Dingaling
OMG BLOG
Random Acts of Television
Reality Rant
Secrets on Madison Avenue
Viva La Graham
The Vitriol