Dlisted: 03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Pamela Anderson's New Man

Looks like Pamela Anderson is all about the Benjamins now. Her new boyfriend is nothing to write home about, but he's rich. Pam has taken up company with businessman and real estate developer Laurence Hallier. The two were seen in London getting all sexy and shit. He's not that bad, but looks kind of slow. Anyway, I hope bitch is getting a jet out of it or something.

Angelina Jolie Has Driven Brad to Smoking Again!

Onlookers at a cafe in Paris were shocked to see Brad Pitt lighting up a cigarette, because it seemed that he had kicked the habit for the sake of Maddox and Zahara. But with all the new stress in his life Brad just couldn't resist and is back to the habit, part-time anyways. Brad had reportedly quit smoking because Angelina didn't want that shit around her two kids and unborn baby.

Perhaps he's stressed out, because he's due to get married soon? Sources say that Brangelina will tie the knot on March 16th in Como, Italy at George Clooney's villa. George Clooney has laughed off the reports claiming they are false.

Shit! Angie should at least him that! She's taken everything else away from him even his balls!

[National Ledger]

Parasite Gets Unplugged!

Parasite Hilton's vagina is so clogged up with all sorts of things that a simple douche can no longer clean the bitch out. Shit, I think she even tried a wet vac. So she had to call in the big guns. Unfortunately, the Roto-Rooter dudes declined to service her ass because they were afraid of catching a STD.

Actually, it's just for The Simple Life 4 or that's what they say. You and I know the real reason!

What Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Berlin must have some delicious hay, because Sarah Jessica Parker galloped into town to promote her new movie. I know she likes to think of herself as a fashionista, but what the hell kind of rag does she have on? It looks like a kindergarten art project by a really gay guy. Ok yes that was me when I was in kindergarten. I would've totally made that. And!?

Mariah Looks Hot!

Mariah Carey and Pharrell Williams left their hotel in Paris yesterday hand in hand. No, the two aren't dating..they are filming Mariah's video Say Somethin' in which Pharrell does guest vocals. Besides those retarded bug glasses Mariah looks hot. Probably because bitch is covered up!

A Little Jake for Your Saturday

I know how a lot of you go ga-ga for Gyllenhaal, so here's some boring pics of Jake and his daddies at some designer exhibition.

And just because...ewww..bitch needs to shave!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Little Debbie

Birthday Sluts

Terrence Howard (37)
Thora Birch (24)
Benji Madden (27)
Joel Madden (27)
Johnny Knoxville (35)
Lisa Loeb (38)
Peter Berg (42)
Sam Donaldson (72)
Rupert Murdoch (75)

Friday, March 10, 2006

Chestica Simpson Quote of the Day!

"Music will always be my passion, but I don't have to do it professionally. It's just not really about that for me anymore. I feel like I don't have to look at it as a career. I can just rest in it and just be."

Translation: Someone got dumped by their label!

It Is Easy!

Jordan showed off some seriously nasty-ass make-up for one of her book signings in Manchester. Who does this ho's make-up and styling? I am really beginning to think she has Harvey on payroll! I mean come on. I don't even know where you can buy those kind of colors. Do they have Rite-Aid in England? However, I'm glad the fake hair is back!

Lisa Marie is Knocked Up!

According to The National Enquirer, Lisa Marie Presley was pregnant when she married nobody, Michael Lockwood back in January. Apparently, she had intended to get married later this spring when but when she found out she was with child she quickly wanted to get the whole wedding thing over with. Probably so her child wouldn't be a bastard.

A source close to the couple said: "Lisa Marie was determined to look great for her wedding. I think she didn't want to be pregnant in her photographs. If they'd have waited until the spring when they were due to get married, the bump would have been showing.

"As soon as she found out she was pregnant in early January, she told Michael, 'Let's get married now.'

"They told the wedding planner she had five days to organize a wedding in Japan and told their families to pack their bags."

By the looks of these two that's gonna be one fugly baby!

[The National Enquirer]

Janet's Back!

Damn! I guess she has been working out, because Janet Jackson has slimmed down! Either that or she had some serious liposuction. Either way she looks a million times better than before!

*The photo agency that owns these pictures has asked me to remove them. They kill all the fun!*

Eating with the Enemy

Parasite Hilton
and Zeta Graff are supposed to be sworn enemies. I mean Zeta is suing Parasite for $10 Million for slandering her good name in the press. But those two dingbats had dinner at Mr. Chow's the other night and then went to Teddy's later that night. The lawsuit is still active. Sources say that Parasite ran into her ass and wanted to make nice. Yeah, probably to kiss her ass since that piece of crap doesn't have the dough to pay up!

Click here to watch video from TMZ

Afternoon Crumbs

Naomi Campbell and Tyson Beckford in ads for Pirelli [Concrete Loop]

If you get a chance take this little survey about gossip blogs for Blogads. [Blogads]

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner live in the hood [A Socialite's Life]

Celebrity Mini Mes [Just Jared]

HoHan parties with Blondie [Hollywood Rag]

Xtina wants to stay sexy [IDLYITW]

Sienna Miller is going to burn out [Egotastic!]

Elton John and Kim Cattrall make the gayest team ever [Popsugar]

What Is Going On Here?!

HoHan made an appearance at last night's Ask the Dusk premiere. She also made an appearance on Salma Hayek's cheek. Coke makes you do that. You know Salma was loving it. Penny Cruz is gonna be so jealous now.

Wait, is she kissing her ear?! Does coke make you wanna eat wax?

God no. Close that shit up.

Luther Vandross Gay?!!

This is the shock of a life! Ok, I'm gonna be nice since he's in heaven and shit. Anyway, friends of the late singer recently talked about how in the closet Luther was.

Eight months after his death, singer Luther Vandross' friends are helping him out of the closet.

"He was way 'in,'" recalls comic Bruce Vilanch. "He said to me, 'No one knows I'm in the life.' … He had very few sexual contacts."

"A famously open gay singer-songwriter [told me] Luther was dying to have a boyfriend," columnist Michael Musto recalls in Out magazine.

While some Vandross fans may be appalled by the exposé, Michael Roberson, director of gay group People of Color in Crisis, argues, "Clearly, a lot of black gay performers feel they can't come out. Yet it would be important, particularly to black, gay, young people, to see black gay role models."

Meanwhile, long-closeted crooner Johnny Mathis is speaking frankly about his heartache.

"I've been a romantic all my life, but as for having tangible relationships, I've never had that," he tells Britain's Daily Express. "I get a little alone at times."

Mathis says that after word spread that he was gay, he became a target for homophobic bigots.

"I've had a few death threats from the Southern states," he says. "So 20 years ago, I decided to perform without publicizing the concerts with interviews. I'd had enough exposure and was concerned about what came with it."

This kind of makes me sad. All these men want is love and they can't have it, because they are afraid of public ridicule! It's time to stand up for them! Toothy now is your chance to really make a difference and finally break open that closet door! Yes, you'll be bound to only playing the gay friend and interior decorators, but you will be making a difference!


Let's Try and Be Nice to Britney's Cankles!

Naw, let's not. First of all, I'm jealous of the bitch that she gets to live in Hawaii and shit. Even though it's bad for us because we have to see her fat ass in a bikini for the next few months. Seriously, the chick has CANKLES. Damn, get that shaved off. I saw an episode of like True Life where this dude got calf implants. Bitch needs that.

The American Idol Top 12

Blah...bla...and blah! I'm gonna say now that I don't like any of the chicks except for Mandisa. I know all of you practically cream over Paris Bennett, but I can't stand that girl. First of all, what was up her look last night? And as for the dudes, it gets a little better...but I'm not quite sold on one.

All in one most of them are boring shit! Seriously, Paris...she looks like a black Rainbow Brite!


Dennis Quaid has confessed that in the mid-90s he had to lose 40lbs to play Doc Holliday in Wyatt Earp which caused him to develop an eating disorder.

He said: "My arms were so skinny that I couldn't pull myself out of a pool. I'd look in the mirror and still see a 180-pound guy, even though I was 138 pounds."

He admits that he did have an eating disorder and it took him a while to get back to normal. Well, I think being married to Meg Ryan would cause anybody to lose their appetite.

[Page Six]

Shut Your Yapper!

Liam Gallagher continues to open his pie hole instead of shoving a cock in it. His latest rant is about David Beckham.

He said: "At times the England players seem to play like women. Beckham and others, they're gay boys."

He's just jealous, because Becks still has a career.

[Contact Music]

The Pavaraottis

KFed is continuing to relax on his wife's dime in Maui as she records her latest album. Apparently in his new song KFed cleverly calls the "paparazzi" the "pavarottis." Seriously, he's such a douche. And that ice cream looks like a frozen turd.

Parasite is a Cheap Piece of Trash!

Parasite Hilton was banned from the Vanity Fair Oscar party so she decided to attend the Elton John charity bash instead. The event is a benefit gala and guests are asked to donate $2,500 a head. But when that piece of trash was asked to donate money, she responded with: "Don't you know who I am." Yeah, you're a cheap motherfucker.

She didn't donate a cent when everybody else had. Sources say she won't be asked back.

A rep for the Elton John AIDS Foundation confirmed Hilton didn't donate a cent, despite giving interviews on the press line suggesting otherwise. A rep for Hilton said, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money." We'll see. Meanwhile, the folks at Us Weekly are said to be so tired of Hilton, they'll no longer run stories on her. "She even got into a huge fight with Stavros [Niarchos] at their Oscar party, and they didn't put it in the magazine," sniffed another source. "It's all for show and to get press anyway. And she doesn't sell. They will run pictures of her, but that's about it."

Hahaha...could this be the end of that piece of trash. Let's hope by this time next year she won't even be able to get into the opening of a car wash. Seriously, dumb herpes slut is digging her own grave.

P.S. - Cheap bitch is probably picking up a dime in these pics.

[Page Six] [Thanks Infobitch and Mouse]

Nicole Richie Filming The Simple Life 4

[click on image to enlarge]

What the hell is the new Simple Life about anyway? It seems that the places they film are so random. They are in Los Angeles. Shouldn't they be like in Kansas or something?! Anyway, yesterday Richie filmed some scenes for her reality show. Why is she carrying around that bear? Because it makes her look even skinnier?

I love how standing next to that little boy even makes him look fat.

Michael K on MySpace

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