Pamela Anderson's New Man

Looks like Pamela Anderson is all about the Benjamins now. Her new boyfriend is nothing to write home about, but he's rich. Pam has taken up company with businessman and real estate developer Laurence Hallier. The two were seen in London getting all sexy and shit. He's not that bad, but looks kind of slow. Anyway, I hope bitch is getting a jet out of it or something.

Angelina Jolie Has Driven Brad to Smoking Again!

Onlookers at a cafe in Paris were shocked to see Brad Pitt lighting up a cigarette, because it seemed that he had kicked the habit for the sake of Maddox and Zahara. But with all the new stress in his life Brad just couldn't resist and is back to the habit, part-time anyways. Brad had reportedly quit smoking because Angelina didn't want that shit around her two kids and unborn baby.

Perhaps he's stressed out, because he's due to get married soon? Sources say that Brangelina will tie the knot on March 16th in Como, Italy at George Clooney's villa. George Clooney has laughed off the reports claiming they are false.

Shit! Angie should at least him that! She's taken everything else away from him even his balls!

[National Ledger]

Parasite Gets Unplugged!

Parasite Hilton's vagina is so clogged up with all sorts of things that a simple douche can no longer clean the bitch out. Shit, I think she even tried a wet vac. So she had to call in the big guns. Unfortunately, the Roto-Rooter dudes declined to service her ass because they were afraid of catching a STD.

Actually, it's just for The Simple Life 4 or that's what they say. You and I know the real reason!

What Kind of GD Outfit is That?!

Berlin must have some delicious hay, because Sarah Jessica Parker galloped into town to promote her new movie. I know she likes to think of herself as a fashionista, but what the hell kind of rag does she have on? It looks like a kindergarten art project by a really gay guy. Ok yes that was me when I was in kindergarten. I would've totally made that. And!?

Mariah Looks Hot!

Mariah Carey and Pharrell Williams left their hotel in Paris yesterday hand in hand. No, the two aren't dating..they are filming Mariah's video Say Somethin' in which Pharrell does guest vocals. Besides those retarded bug glasses Mariah looks hot. Probably because bitch is covered up!

A Little Jake for Your Saturday

I know how a lot of you go ga-ga for Gyllenhaal, so here's some boring pics of Jake and his daddies at some designer exhibition.







And just because...ewww..bitch needs to shave!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Little Debbie

Birthday Sluts

Terrence Howard (37)
Thora Birch (24)
Benji Madden (27)
Joel Madden (27)
Johnny Knoxville (35)
Lisa Loeb (38)
Peter Berg (42)
Sam Donaldson (72)
Rupert Murdoch (75)

Chestica Simpson Quote of the Day!

"Music will always be my passion, but I don't have to do it professionally. It's just not really about that for me anymore. I feel like I don't have to look at it as a career. I can just rest in it and just be."

Translation: Someone got dumped by their label!

It Is Easy!

Jordan showed off some seriously nasty-ass make-up for one of her book signings in Manchester. Who does this ho's make-up and styling? I am really beginning to think she has Harvey on payroll! I mean come on. I don't even know where you can buy those kind of colors. Do they have Rite-Aid in England? However, I'm glad the fake hair is back!

Lisa Marie is Knocked Up!

According to The National Enquirer, Lisa Marie Presley was pregnant when she married nobody, Michael Lockwood back in January. Apparently, she had intended to get married later this spring when but when she found out she was with child she quickly wanted to get the whole wedding thing over with. Probably so her child wouldn't be a bastard.

A source close to the couple said: "Lisa Marie was determined to look great for her wedding. I think she didn't want to be pregnant in her photographs. If they'd have waited until the spring when they were due to get married, the bump would have been showing.

"As soon as she found out she was pregnant in early January, she told Michael, 'Let's get married now.'

"They told the wedding planner she had five days to organize a wedding in Japan and told their families to pack their bags."

By the looks of these two that's gonna be one fugly baby!

[The National Enquirer]

Janet's Back!

Damn! I guess she has been working out, because Janet Jackson has slimmed down! Either that or she had some serious liposuction. Either way she looks a million times better than before!


*The photo agency that owns these pictures has asked me to remove them. They kill all the fun!*

Eating with the Enemy

Parasite Hilton and Zeta Graff are supposed to be sworn enemies. I mean Zeta is suing Parasite for $10 Million for slandering her good name in the press. But those two dingbats had dinner at Mr. Chow's the other night and then went to Teddy's later that night. The lawsuit is still active. Sources say that Parasite ran into her ass and wanted to make nice. Yeah, probably to kiss her ass since that piece of crap doesn't have the dough to pay up!

Click here to watch video from TMZ

Afternoon Crumbs

Naomi Campbell and Tyson Beckford in ads for Pirelli [Concrete Loop]

If you get a chance take this little survey about gossip blogs for Blogads. [Blogads]

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner live in the hood [A Socialite's Life]

Celebrity Mini Mes [Just Jared]

HoHan parties with Blondie [Hollywood Rag]

Xtina wants to stay sexy [IDLYITW]

Sienna Miller is going to burn out [Egotastic!]

Elton John and Kim Cattrall make the gayest team ever [Popsugar]

What Is Going On Here?!

HoHan made an appearance at last night's Ask the Dusk premiere. She also made an appearance on Salma Hayek's cheek. Coke makes you do that. You know Salma was loving it. Penny Cruz is gonna be so jealous now.



Wait, is she kissing her ear?! Does coke make you wanna eat wax?



God no. Close that shit up.

Luther Vandross Gay?!!

This is the shock of a life! Ok, I'm gonna be nice since he's in heaven and shit. Anyway, friends of the late singer recently talked about how in the closet Luther was.

Eight months after his death, singer Luther Vandross' friends are helping him out of the closet.

"He was way 'in,'" recalls comic Bruce Vilanch. "He said to me, 'No one knows I'm in the life.' … He had very few sexual contacts."

"A famously open gay singer-songwriter [told me] Luther was dying to have a boyfriend," columnist Michael Musto recalls in Out magazine.

While some Vandross fans may be appalled by the exposé, Michael Roberson, director of gay group People of Color in Crisis, argues, "Clearly, a lot of black gay performers feel they can't come out. Yet it would be important, particularly to black, gay, young people, to see black gay role models."

Meanwhile, long-closeted crooner Johnny Mathis is speaking frankly about his heartache.

"I've been a romantic all my life, but as for having tangible relationships, I've never had that," he tells Britain's Daily Express. "I get a little alone at times."

Mathis says that after word spread that he was gay, he became a target for homophobic bigots.

"I've had a few death threats from the Southern states," he says. "So 20 years ago, I decided to perform without publicizing the concerts with interviews. I'd had enough exposure and was concerned about what came with it."

This kind of makes me sad. All these men want is love and they can't have it, because they are afraid of public ridicule! It's time to stand up for them! Toothy now is your chance to really make a difference and finally break open that closet door! Yes, you'll be bound to only playing the gay friend and interior decorators, but you will be making a difference!

[R&M]

Let's Try and Be Nice to Britney's Cankles!

Naw, let's not. First of all, I'm jealous of the bitch that she gets to live in Hawaii and shit. Even though it's bad for us because we have to see her fat ass in a bikini for the next few months. Seriously, the chick has CANKLES. Damn, get that shaved off. I saw an episode of like True Life where this dude got calf implants. Bitch needs that.

The American Idol Top 12

Blah...bla...and blah! I'm gonna say now that I don't like any of the chicks except for Mandisa. I know all of you practically cream over Paris Bennett, but I can't stand that girl. First of all, what was up her look last night? And as for the dudes, it gets a little better...but I'm not quite sold on one.

All in one most of them are boring shit! Seriously, Paris...she looks like a black Rainbow Brite!

Manorexic

Dennis Quaid has confessed that in the mid-90s he had to lose 40lbs to play Doc Holliday in Wyatt Earp which caused him to develop an eating disorder.

He said: "My arms were so skinny that I couldn't pull myself out of a pool. I'd look in the mirror and still see a 180-pound guy, even though I was 138 pounds."

He admits that he did have an eating disorder and it took him a while to get back to normal. Well, I think being married to Meg Ryan would cause anybody to lose their appetite.

[Page Six]

Shut Your Yapper!

Liam Gallagher continues to open his pie hole instead of shoving a cock in it. His latest rant is about David Beckham.

He said: "At times the England players seem to play like women. Beckham and others, they're gay boys."

He's just jealous, because Becks still has a career.

[Contact Music]

The Pavaraottis

KFed is continuing to relax on his wife's dime in Maui as she records her latest album. Apparently in his new song KFed cleverly calls the "paparazzi" the "pavarottis." Seriously, he's such a douche. And that ice cream looks like a frozen turd.

Parasite is a Cheap Piece of Trash!

Parasite Hilton was banned from the Vanity Fair Oscar party so she decided to attend the Elton John charity bash instead. The event is a benefit gala and guests are asked to donate $2,500 a head. But when that piece of trash was asked to donate money, she responded with: "Don't you know who I am." Yeah, you're a cheap motherfucker.

She didn't donate a cent when everybody else had. Sources say she won't be asked back.

A rep for the Elton John AIDS Foundation confirmed Hilton didn't donate a cent, despite giving interviews on the press line suggesting otherwise. A rep for Hilton said, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money." We'll see. Meanwhile, the folks at Us Weekly are said to be so tired of Hilton, they'll no longer run stories on her. "She even got into a huge fight with Stavros [Niarchos] at their Oscar party, and they didn't put it in the magazine," sniffed another source. "It's all for show and to get press anyway. And she doesn't sell. They will run pictures of her, but that's about it."

Hahaha...could this be the end of that piece of trash. Let's hope by this time next year she won't even be able to get into the opening of a car wash. Seriously, dumb herpes slut is digging her own grave.

P.S. - Cheap bitch is probably picking up a dime in these pics.



[Page Six] [Thanks Infobitch and Mouse]

Nicole Richie Filming The Simple Life 4

[click on image to enlarge]

What the hell is the new Simple Life about anyway? It seems that the places they film are so random. They are in Los Angeles. Shouldn't they be like in Kansas or something?! Anyway, yesterday Richie filmed some scenes for her reality show. Why is she carrying around that bear? Because it makes her look even skinnier?

I love how standing next to that little boy even makes him look fat.

Did Clooney Force Snatcher To Talk About Being Molested?!

Teri Snatcher is on the cover of Vanity Fair and talks about how she was molested by her uncle and the death of one of his victims led her to come forward. However, in the article it is stated that she actually came forward because of having her heart broken by a Hollywood hunk that goes unnamed.

The magazine reports the unidentified star who bedded and dumped Hatcher left her so emotionally shattered that she could no longer keep from talking about her evil uncle.

"Mystery Man" was none other than Clooney, a well-placed source tells Page Six. He dated Hatcher briefly beginning in January, when we first reported they'd gotten cozy, but he dropped her soon after.

"The debacle with Mystery Man . . . made the parallels between her romantic failures and the legacy of her sexual abuse seem too obvious to ignore," Vanity Fair's Leslie Bennetts writes.

Clooney's rep, Stan Rosenfeld, says, "I doubt Teri Hatcher is your source, and unless she is, you're full of [bleep]. I doubt very seriously that your source is credible." As for Clooney and Hatcher's relationship, "I don't ask George about his private life," Rosenfeld sniffs.

Bennetts wrote: "After an elaborate courtship, Hatcher opened her heart to a handsome guy who convinced her that she was entering a magical new relationship, only to have him disappear as soon as she'd let down her guard. He charmed, he conquered, he said, 'I'll call you,' and - poof - he was gone."

Being "seduced and abandoned by a world-class Don Juan" left Hatcher "emotionally flayed, stripped of every protective covering until she [was] nothing but exposed nerve endings," Bennetts writes.

"She is so emotionally bereft, so overwhelmed with grief, that it can hurt just trying to watch her cope with it."

"I have so much pain," Hatcher told VF. "I'm a woman who carries around all these layers of fear and vulnerability . . . Oh, my God, can you believe what a mess I am?"

I was actually feeling sorry for this bitch! But a man led you to talk about being molested?! That makes no sense. Bitch is stupid, I'm sorry. You know Clooney didn't screw her gross ass, because first of all she doesn't have a dick and second of all he doesn't screw trash!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Bob and Harvey Weinstein are planning to bring the hit film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to the stage. They are also developing the five books that encompass Tiger as a film franchise of three prequels and one sequel. [Variety]

Ken Watanabe (Memoirs of a Geisha) will star in Clint Eastwood's Red Sun, Black Sand which is serving as a companion piece to his latest film Flag of Our Fathers. The film begins production next week in Los Angeles. "Red Sun" revolves around the real-life Japanese General Tadamichi Kuribayashi, played by Watanabe, who battled American troops for 40 days on the small island of Iwo Jima. The film will be shot entirely in Japanese and be released with Flag of Our Fathers later this year. [Variety]

Sandra Bullock will play Peyton Place author Grace Metalious in a new biopic about the author. Metalious' novel of sex and scandal in a small New England town, based partly on Gilmanton, was published in the fall of 1956. Although it was banned in several cities, "Peyton Place" became one of the best-selling novels in history and led to a popular movie starring Lana Turner and Hope Lange. But Metalious never recovered from her sudden notoriety. Her marriage fell apart, her children were harassed and the author herself received threatening calls and letters. She became a heavy drinker and died of cirrhosis in 1964, at 39. [Associated Press]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3: (a very hard decision)

What's black and white and gay all over? - Rabies

Even Tom from Myspace wouldn't add that as his friend. - pageantgal

(russian accent)
I am worried about the ladies powerlifting competition tomorrow... - Dak

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lauren Bacall

Birthday Sluts

Carrie Underwood (23)
Olivia Wilde (22)
Cristian de la Fuente (32)
Page Brewester (37)
Jasmine Guy (42)
Prince Edward (42)
Neneh Cherry (43)
Sharon Stone (48)
Osama bin Laden (49)
Shannon Tweed (49)
Paul Haggis (53)
Chuck Norris (66)

Nicole Richie's Still Hawking That Tired Book!

Carol Channing Nicole Richie held a book signing at Kitson of all places in Los Angeles the other day. I can't believe she's still peddling that thing. I read it and have gotten more out of reading the back of a cereal box.



Seriously, doesn't she look about eleventy years old?



You know Nicole got grossed out by signing this ladies fat stomach.

Say Farewell to Neverland!

Michael Jackson's cherished Neverland Ranch has been closed by the State Labor Comissioner after they found out that the worker's compensation policy had lapsed in January.

"We went out there this morning and issued a stop order to the security guard at the front gate," state Department of Industrial Relations spokesman Dean Fryer told Reuters. "We asked to be escorted in to meet management, but we were refused and turned away, so we gave the order to (the guard)."

Fryer said local animal welfare officials had been asked to care for the inhabitants of Neverland's zoo.

He said that Jackson could reopen the ranch if he obtains workers compensation insurance but may face legal action by the state if he fails to pay the back wages.

Jackson, who was cleared last June of criminal charges that he sexually abused a young boy at Neverland, has spent much of his time since the trial in Bahrain and was not at his ranch when authorities arrived. His representatives could not immediately be reached for comment.

The order prohibits Jackson from employing anyone at the 2,800-acre (1,130-hectare) ranch until the insurance issues are resolved, Fryer said. "So it looks like this would mean for Neverland Valley Ranch that they would be closed down."

Jackson on Thursday was fined $69,000, or $1,000 per employee, for allowing his insurance to lapse. Earlier this week, authorities cited him for violating state labor law by failing to pay at least 30 employees since December of 2005. A letter for that citation imposes a $100,000 fine and demands that he make good on $306,000 in unpaid wages.

Fryer said his office learned of the workers compensation issue after a Neverland employee making an unpaid-wage claim remarked that a co-worker had been injured on the job and was uncertain about filing a claim due to the lapsed insurance.

If an employee were hurt at Neverland while Jackson was uninsured, Fryer said, "the medical expenses associated with that injury would have to be picked up by the state."

I don't think that crazy loon gives a shit anymore about this! He's busy creating another crazy Neverland in Bahrain!

[Thanks to Micah]

Mariah Sluts Up Paris!

[click on image to enlarge]

Mariah Carey is in Paris shooting a video for her new single Say Somethin. She decided on this very low red dress to show off her buns of steel or whatever she calls them. Since she's in Paris bitch better stay away from the bread and cheese.

The Perfect Family

Click here to watch these two pieces of trash walk SPF down a Maui street. Seriously, they should be walking through the trailer park not through paradise!

Angelina Jolie Wants More Kids!

Angelina Jolie already has two kids and one on the way. But that isn't stopping her from getting more. Angelina has told Brad that before she has their baby she wants to add two more to their already big family.

Following on the heels of Angelina’s declaration that she wants to give birth to their child in Africa, she had another surprise for Brad — she wants to adopt again — preferably twins, and soon!

Their life has turned into a baby chase. Instead of taking the time to relax and enjoy themselves, Brad and Angelina have been jet-setting across Europe and the couple is believed to have looked into adopting children from various parts of the world — including Haiti and Somalia.

“Angelina wants the adoption to happen as soon as possible,” says an insider.

She just wants the tax write-off, right?

[In Touch] [Thanks Stacy]

Jake's Morning Workout!

From the Jarhead DVD

[Towleroad]

Afternoon Crumbs

Xtina gets wasted [Hollywood Rag]

Brad Pitt has picked out baby names [A Socialite's Life]

ANTM Bald Heads [Just Jared]

Chestica Simpson gets dumped via text message [Egotastic!]

Posh to be Katie Holmes' birthing partner [IDLYITW]

Lil' Kim's letter to fans [Crunk and Disorderly]

What would Jesus listen to? [Stereogum]

Joy Behar asks Choe Sevigny about The Brown Bunny [Best Week Ever]

The two Evas want each other [City Rag]

Miss Simpson Goes to Washington

Chestica Simpson plans to visit Washington D.C. later this month to lobby for her children's charity in front of congress.

The star will head to Washington, DC to speak with lawmakers about Operation Smile, an organization that provides surgery for children with facial abnormalities.

Simpson visited Africa last year as a guest of the charity group.

A source close to the organization confirms, "She's in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good.

"She's flying in on her own dime. This is her Angelina moment."

Is she actually going to speak in front of them? Damn those poor children with fucked up smiles are in trouble!

Oh and no she's not knocked up, she's just "Katie Holmes knocked up" for some stupid movie which will no doubt make $10 at the box office.

[IOL]

Note to Kimora Lee Simmons

DO NOT star in the ads for your company! Unless your company is changing directions and now marketing to trannies!

Nick Teaches Kid How to Ride!

Nick Lachey taught some unidentified boy how to ride a bike. Some say the boy may be involved with the Big Brother program, because Nick has been known to volunteer his time to the organization. That seriously warms my ice cold heart!









[JJB]

Porno Pink in Paris!

Mariah Carey stepped out in Paris yesterday wearing some hideous pink coat that she no doubt bought at Frederick's and some tacky ass shoes that she probably paid less for. On a positive note, her wig looks pretty tight. Oh and I don't think we want to know what's under that coat!

Two Oldies Fighting

Axl Rose is suing bandmate Slash in response to Slash's lawsuit against him. Axl basically wants a Federal judge's confirmation of his ownership of his own works.

Last summer, Slash (real name Saul Hudson) filed a federal suit accusing Rose of changing the publisher of the group's copyrighted songs without discussing his decision with his ex-bandmates.

In a statement accompanying the suit, Rose's attorneys write, "Axl has, at all times, worked diligently to maintain the artistic integrity of the band by choosing with great care which properties to license Guns N' Roses songs to."

I guess we shouldn't hold our breath for that planned reunion, eh? Their too fat anyway.

[Post Chronicle]

JLove Close to Playboy Deal

Ghost Whisperer star Jennifer Love Hewitt is coming very close to signing on the dotted line with Playboy to pose nude for big-bucks. Sources that Jen is hoping to shed her squeaky clean image and hopes that showing her exposed breasts will do so.

A friend of Jen's said this back in January: "Jennifer has received some really big-bucks offers for years from magazines, including Playboy, to pose nude," but she has always laughed off the idea ... She told me that maybe a sexy magazine layout with her showing her assets might give her a little edgier image and she might be considered for a femme fatale role. She knows she can pull it off, but she thinks casting directors aren't so sure."

But now it's looking more and more likely. Why do these girls always think showing their bits is going to shed their squeaky image? I mean JLove is basically in a show that's Murder She Wrote with ghosts! I don't think anyone under 45 watches that show. Maybe the way to shed your good girl image is to quit that wholesome show?! Baby steps first.

[Post Chronicle]

A Horse Riding a Horse!

Vadge was photographed riding again in California after suffering some broken bones a few months ago. Bitch needs to spend more time sleeping and less time on that horse. She looks beat up!



[Thanks Youri]

Chloe Wins Project Runway!

In a surprise victory, Chloe Dao beat out Santino Rice and Daniel Vasovic to become the winner of Project Runway 2. Personally, I liked Santino's collection the best...but I am glad Chloe won. She has everything it takes even though she will not move to New York. She currently has a business and life in Houston and plans to stay there.

She said: "“People are going to hate me (for saying this), but I'm really happy with my life and I'’m really happy I'’m the winner and I'’m really going to try to make something out of it, but am I going to be the next Vera Wang or Ralph Lauren? I don'’t know."

At least she's keeping it real. I honestly thought Daniel was going to take it home, but I felt that he was a little smug and kind of figured he was going to win.

Congrats to Chloe! Even though your clothes belong in Bewitched 2, I loves you!

[Pic: FourFour]

Of Course She Has Herpes!

On Monday a judge granted an usual restraining order against Parasite Hilton from event planner, Brian Quintana. Brian filed a lawsuit against Parasite claiming that she threatened him.

On Monday, a court commissioner signed off on an unusual keep-away order that prevents the hotel heiress from coming within 100 yards of event planner Brian Quintana--unless, that is, the dueling duo happen to be attending the same function.

In a nod to the close quarters at some of the events where Hilton and Quintana might both turn up, their attorneys hammered out an agreement that permits Hilton to come within 25 feet of Quintana should they find themselves at the same party.

According to the court documents, in the event Hilton and Quintana do attend the same function, Hilton is not permitted to have her rival removed from the festivities, as that would constitute harassment.

Quintana said: "I have no problem being in the same room with her if she can demonstrate that she knows how to behave like a young lady,"

He also went on to explain one incident where he warned Nachos that Parasite had herpes: "I wanted him to be aware of it--that she had herpes. To make sure he didn't catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware],"

When Parasite overheard this shit, she went crazy and threatened to kill his ass! Herpes?! Ha, that's child's play when it comes this bitch. She probably has STDs that haven't even been discovered yet!



[E! Online] [Thanks Mouse]

Deletes Scenes from Basic Instinct 2!

I guess this shit was too hot for the silver screen. It's kind of lukewarm to me and we've all seen Sharon get it on with another chick.

[Thanks cokemonkey]

The Dlisted Report

Mos Def and Sophie Okonedo (Hotel Rwanda) are in final talks to star in the indie period drama Stringbean and Marcus. The film takes place in 1978 and focuses on the broken love affair between two former Black Panther members (Mos Def and Okonedo) and is told through the eyes of an adolescent girl. Shooting begins this July in Philadelphia. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Mikael Hafstrom (Derailed) will direct John Cusack in the film adaptation of Stephen King's short story 1408. The film centers on a debunker of paranormal occurrences who encounters real terror when he checks into notorious Room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel. Shooting begins this summer. [Variety]

Jon Avnet will direct the action thriller Second World. The film, from a spec script by Scott King, revolves around a top assassin -- and mother -- who must stop a deadly virus from spreading. But in order to halt the potential pandemic, she must team up with the virus' creator, who also is her target. No word yet on casting. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

Okay, Felicity Huffman, we get it, you can act! - Vivalashameless

guess who ruined casual friday? - Tim

Prince Michael Jackson's outfit for his future episode of Super Sweet 16 - Ryan Beth


[Homepage of Peter Pan]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Christiane Amanpour

Birthday Sluts

Emmanuel Lewis (35)
Bow Wow (19)
Brittany Snow (20)
Chingy (26)
Kerr Smith (34)
Juliette Binoche (42)
Linda Fiorentino (46)
Joyce Van Patten (72)

Has Toothy Finally Been Revealed?

In today's Ted Casablanca Blind Items he introduced a new character named Crisp Lisp who is competition for Toothy Tile as thee closeted-gay-actor in Hollywood. Defamer has uncovered an interesting thing on Ted's front page:

As you can see above, on the index page for Casablanca's daily column, the pictures of three actors (George Clooney, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Josh Lucas) appear. But only Clooney and Lucas appear in today's column. So what's Gyllenhaal's "competition" all about? Some of you immediately jumped to the conclusion that the "competition" was the one set up between Toothy Tile and Crisp Lisp in this week's blind item, which would account for Gyllenhaal's conspicuous absence from the column. How very, very odd!

Hmm....yeah I pretty much think Jakey is Toothy Tile!

[Thanks LA]

Vintage Britney & Jason

[Thanks to Kristi]

Macy Gray Eats Nicole Richie!

Shortly after this picture was taken Macy Gray smeared hot sauce all over Nicole Richie and devoured her ass in two bites!

[Thanks Jewel]

Tara Reid Continues to be a Drunken Ho!

When is Tara Reid ever going to learn? Probably never and that's the way I like it! I must say that I get much enjoyment out of seeing this chick falling and slurring and just being a straight-up ho. I mean who wouldn't, right? It's practically calorie-free! No guilt!

Anyway, bitch was seen this morning in Newport Beach, CA outside of Dennis Rodman's house. What was she doing there? I don't want to know, but I'm sure a sex tape of the incident will show up any day.

Anyway,Tara was seen paying off a local resident after slamming into his car.

According to a witness, Tara's pupil's looked clearly dilated and she told the owner that she didn't want to deal with the insurance companies and handed him $700 in cash.

Tara you dumb bitch! Why are you giving some stranger $700?! You just earned that money by letting Rodman take a dump on you! You need that dough!

[Togawp] [Thanks Kyle]

Get Some Sleep Brooke!

Aw damn...bitch looks nasty! Take a damn nap for like 15 straight days! Seriously, she looks like Tom Cruise with some foundation and lipstick.

[Danielle's Daily Dish]

Pumkin is a Grade A Idiot!

I knew Pumkin from Flavor of Love wasn't the brightest bulb, but she has proven to me that she barely has 2 brain cells in that big head of hers. In an interview the dumb blonde bitch tells us that she didn't actually spit on New York, that it was all staged and digitally enhanced.

According to her, the producers told her that she would be leaving that night before the ceremony and they asked her to give them a big show. When she asked them what they wanted her to do, they told her to spit.

So she spit at New York, but not how it appears on TV.

She said: "I do not spit on people. When girls spit, it goes everywhere,"

She alleges that her spit was digitally enhanced to look bigger.

Does this make any sense?! During the episode New York even commented how her spit got all on her chin. Seriously, bitch needs to stop lying.

But Pumkin delivered some even better news! According to her Flavor of Love 2 has already given the greenlight!

Click here to read the rest of the interview

[Thanks Danielle]

I Love The Sun, But....

I love The Sun, but they posted this picture of Penelope Cruz with this text:

PENELOPE CRUZ looks suspiciously tubby – after tucking into BRITNEY SPEARS’ favourite pregnancy craving of burger and chips.

Which makes me ask: Is she or isn’t she?

The Spanish movie beauty was far from her usual svelte self as she left an LA fast food bar with drink in hand. Maybe she just craved a post-Oscars hangover snack.

Are they on crack over there in England?! She doesn't look fat to me AT ALL! Maybe my perception of fatty fatties has changed after looking at those nasty pics of Britney all day!

Afternoon Crumbs

I honestly don't want to see this much of the Pussycat Dolls [IDLYITW]

Pete Doherty's nostril needs help [A Socialite's Life]

Brad's in Brooklyn [Just Jared]

Eddie Izzard does sharks [Swim At Your Own Risk]

Sharon Stone is a granny with all the moves [Hollywoodtuna]

Keanu Reeves on gossip [Hollywood Rag]

Natalie Portman thinks she's so smart [Egotastic!]

Louis Vuitton wants HoHan [Popsugar]

HoHan causes paparazzi choas [TMZ]

The Odd Couple

Talk about being stuck on the red carpet with someone you have no business being with. Martha Stewart and Sophia Loren ran into each other at some Opera benefit. Martha is younger than Sophia, but I'm sorry...Sophia is still gorgeous. Martha should also use her time wisely and get some fashion tips, because it looks like she used that awful coat to parachute in.



[Smart]

Nude for An Oscar

HoHan recently spoke to Cosmopolitan Magazine and the issue of nudity came up. She said that would definitely go nude in a movie if it meant she was going to get an Oscar out of it. She also said that she has no problem with being naked.

Well, HoHan's got it half right. She's gonna have to be nude to get an Oscar. Nude and lubed!



[Click Houston] [Thanks to WhorinBoraBora]

Blind Item...You Guess...I Guess...

Toothy Tile, you're toast. You've been so damn taken with the breathless watching of whether or not you'd maybe, just maybe, decide to come outta the closet you thought you'd keep your fans (not to mention my readers) on the edge of their slippery seats forever. Think again.

'Cause, girlfriend, there's a new gay in town--meet Crisp Lisp. And he's way cooler. Actually new isn't quite the right word to describe C.L., but more on him in a sec.

Let's face it. T2 was going to be dethroned as King of the Closet one of these days. Everyone is bored, already. I mean, come out or stay in, it's your call. But the way Toothy prances about (lately), never really making any statements that give us something to chomp on, is just plain aggravating.

Yes, I am much more impressed by Crisp Lisp. On Oscar night, he attended one of the hottest-ticket bashes in this damn town. And he didn't go alone. He was with his date--a very nice, if shy, dude. The two made no secret that they were on a romantic outing. And by this fetching factoid, I don't mean to imply they were sucking face and groping each other. I mean, Tara Reid C.L. is not and never will be.

Rather, Crisp and his paramour just kinda chilled. Held hands. Whispered low. Gazed longingly into each other's bedroom eyes, blah-pre-poke-behavior
-blah. Sure, everyone knew what was going on and that this is pretty much C.L.'s first foray into serious gay-relationship territory.

I wanna wish C.L. luck. And even though Crisp has a detractor, or three, in this town (who friggin' doesn't?), well, who can hold a grudge against new love?

Oh, and if you think you've seen C.-hon at a lot of high-profile parties lately, you're right. You totally have.

And it ain't!

Hmm...I'm gonna say George Clooney?!

[Awful Truth] [Thanks to Tbird]

Oh God! I Hope She's Telling the Truth!

Hopefully Vadge has realized what most of us have known for many years. She kills movies! Yes, she has had her minor successes in film (Desperately Seeking Susan, Evita, Dick Tracy) but she's mostly had her bombs (Swept Away, Body of Evidence, Shanghai Surprise, Next Best Thing, Dangerous Games).

She seems to have gotten the hint and promises she'll stay away from the silver screen.

"What film can survive people saying it's going to be a bomb from the second it's announced? Making movies is such an effort. And to do that over and over again, with the possibility that I am going to get the shit kicked out of me -- and they really enjoy doing it -- I mean, it doesn't make sense. I have sort of let it go."

Vadge from your lips to God's ears!

I won't hold my breath though.

[SF Gate]

Bobby Brown Arrested Again!

Bobby Brown was arrested over the weekend due to a warrant issued from a motor violation in 1992.

The warrants were issued in Webster, Massachusetts, where Brown was attending 13-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina's cheerleading tournament.

Webster police chief Timothy Bent described Brown as "very cooperative" and authorities even allowed the singer and his bodyguard to drive to the police station after the cheerleading event was over.

Brown was held for an hour before being freed on $40.

This is why I love the police. Bobby has probably been arrested at least once since 1992 and they didn't figure that shit out until now?! And I'm surprised he could come up with the $40 bond.

[IOL]

Britney Just Confirm it Already!

Britney Spears showed her fat belly off at the beach in Hawaii yesterday. Britney has all but confirmed that she's pregnant with that piece of trash's baby. At least I hope she's pregnant, but if she isn't...then nobody with a gut like that should expose that shit. Oh and totally off-topic, but where the hell do you buy a cap like that?!

Teri Snatcher: Victim of Abuse

Teri Snatcher has revealed in the newest issue of Vanity Fair that she was molsted by her uncle as a girl. She kept it a secret until he was arrested for molesting another girl that had commited suicide.

The thought of the dead girl haunted Teri for many years. She said: "I thought, 'Boy, that's really close to being me.' Any day of the week, I could feel that sort of pain. I haven't tried to kill myself, but I've certainly thought about it, and then I feel guilty about thinking about it, because what's so terrible about my life?"

Teri has been credited as helping to put her uncle behind bars, because of her accounts of the abuse.

"He pleaded guilty, and even though it wasn't to my crime, it was because of my crime, and that made me feel validated. That's a victim thing; you ask yourself, 'Am I just crazy? Did I make all this up?' Somehow it might be easier to accept that you're crazy and you made it all up than to admit that it happened, and how awful it was," "But I'm 41 years old, and it's time for me to stop hiding,"

Shit, at least this bitch is finally doing something right!

[Reuters] [Thanks Stacy]

The Hoff Will Slap a Slut!

David Hasselhoff's estranged wife filed a motion on Monday saying that The Hoff beat her ass!

Pamela Hasselhoff asked a Los Angeles Superior Court judge for a temporary restraining order (TRO) against the former 'Baywatch' star. TMZ has learned that the judge did not grant a TRO based on domestic violence, but did order that David and Pamela each stay away from the other. We're told, with the judge's blessing, David has temporary custody of one daughter while Pamela has temporary custody of the other.

The Hoff filed for divorce last January. Hey wasn't she warned not to hassle the Hoff?!

[TMZ]

Fall Out Boy!

Ok, I'm not fan of Fall Out Boy...but I am a fan of nekkid pics. So here's Peter Wentz of the band showing his ratty-ass tattoo and half of his dick. The pictures were most likely stolen from his Sidekick.

Jossip reports:

The details on this incident are a bit blurry, but just know this: there are at least four photos of him " likely stolen from his Sidekick, a la Paris Hilton" in various states of undress that have been leaked.

How'd they get out? We understand Wentz, the guitarist for Fall Out Boy, is feuding with a former friend named Chris from Chicago,— and the two have been dueling on, of all things, their blogs. What's the spat? Seems Pete had a thing for Chris' lady friend, made a pass, and pissed off his best mate.

But at least Chris is handling the photo leak of his former friend like a true hipster.

ok ok ok, big deal..its a penis, and if mine was half as pretty i would be shoving it in the face of every last one of you. its the punk rock equivalent of a sex tape, and do you know anyone whos career has been hurt by a sex tape? no. no one. like the old saying goes; theres no such thing as bad publicity.

The pics are nothing to write home about. It kind of makes me wanna bathe myself in rubbing alcohal. I'd still hit it though.


Click here to see NSFW pics!

What Do You Think Vadge's Wine Tastes Like?!

Click here to order me some!

Single Uma

Uma Thurman and her rich hotel-owning boyfriend, Andre Balasz have called it quits according to Page Six. Rumors about the split went into high-gear when Uma showed up to the Oscars by herself and stayed at the Peninsula Hotel in Los Angeles instead of Chateau Marmont which her ex-boyfriend owns.

Uma's spokeswhore confirmed the split: "Unfortunately, it is true. But we remain close friends."

Well, it ain't surprise considering the look on her face from this picture that was taken a couple of week ago!

[Page Six]

Some Things Should Be Kept To Yourself

Donald Trump stepped over the line when he was asked if his daughter would ever pose for Playboy.

He said: "“I don'’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I'’ve said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'’d be dating her."

His spokeswhore responded with this: "was absolutely joking."” "

“He was making fun of himself for his tendency to date younger women. It'’s a sense of humor that people don'’t see (from him) all the time."

Come on, he wasn't joking. He wants to bone his own daughter. He was also just saying that to get some press for his sinking ship of a reality show.

[Reality Blurred]

Pilot Castings

Adrian Pasdar has joined the cast of NBC's Heroes which is being described as the next Lost. Heroes follows ordinary people who happen to have super powers.

Jay Mohr will play a man freshly out of rehab in Community Service for NBC.

Sherry Stringfield will join already announced Blair Underwood in Company Town for CBS.

Simon Baker and Johnny Lee Miller will join Virginia Madsen and Ray Liotta in the one-hour drama pilot The Guardian for CBS.

Kevin Williamson (Dawson's Creek) has cast Sharon Lawrence as the lead for his one-hour drama Palm Springs for CW.

Alicia Witt has joined the FOX comedy pilot More Patience.

Hostel director Eli Roth has been hired to direct Stephen King's latest novel Cell into a feature film. King's novel is a throwback to his early apocalyptic horror novels. In a single moment, a pulse sent out through cell phones around the world turns every phone user into a crazed, murderous zombie. Roth will write the film after he finished production on the Hostel sequel. [Variety]

Woody Allen will shoot his latest film entirely in Paris after he filmed his last two (Match Point and Scoop) in London. The new film will shoot entirely in the Paris, with Letty Aronson, Stephen Tenenbaum and Gareth Wiley producing. Virtual Films and Wild Bunch are backing the film, and distribution rights have already been taken by On Pictures in Spain and TF1 in France. Shooting will begin this summer. [Variety]

Isla Fisher, Carla Gugino and Matthew Goode have joined the cast of The Lookout. Written by Frank, the story follows a physically challenged janitor, played Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who becomes part of a heist at a bank that employs him. Shooting begins in Canada at the end of the month. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

New ad for California Closets - Cubanita

George: You know how I know you're gay?

Jake: How?

George: You like Coldplay. - PricoLatino

Armani tuxedo = $4,000
Goofy bow tie = $300
Rolex watch = $10,000
Hair gel = $12
Unopened bottle of Astroglide tucked into back pocket = $7

Realizing the only way Clooney is ever going to fuck you is out of an Oscar = priceless - VivalaShameless

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mia Sara

Birthday Sluts

Cyd Charisse (85)
James Van Der Beek (29)
Freddie Prinze Jr. (30)
Kathy Ireland (43)
Camryn Manheim (45)
Aidan Quinn (47)
Lynn Redgrave (63)

Who Looks Hotter? Old VS Young!

[Thanks to Clint]

Nicole Kidman is Going Blind!

Nicole Kidman reportedly asked everyone in the Oscar audience if they had Lasik eye surgery, because she couldn't read the cue cards. Nicole used her glasses during the actual award show, but used bigger cue cards during rehearsals.

Frustrated that she still had to squint to read her lines, Kidman asked audience members, "Has anyone had that Lasik surgery? Is it any good? I can't see. I walk around in a haze."

Oscars officials offered to make the prompter's words bigger, so she could read them easier, but she Kidman still struggled. Before leaving the Kodak Theatre stage, the Aussie mumbled, "I'll be memorizing this."

Maybe, Urban jizzed in her eye even though the two are "just friends." And ok, give me a break! It's a slow news day!

[Starpulse]

The Real Life Simpsons

[Goldenfiddle]

Ryan Cabrera is Slowly Turning Into Meg Ryan!

Who is responsible for the mess on Ryan Cabrera's head?! I'm hoping it's a blind badger and that an actual stylist didn't come up with this shit! Honestly, he has more highlights than a doctor's waiting room. Ok lame joke. Anyway, he's totally turning into Meg Ryan! She had this hair like 5 years ago!

Posh's Fashion Rules

Yup, the bitch actually has fashion rules. I'm surprised they don't consist of "wear the cheapest, polyster hair possible" or "don't eat anything so you can your neck can shrink and make you look like E.T."

Anyway, Posh has said to never leave your house without designer sunglasses on.

She also said: ''Last season I invested in some of Stella McCartney's jumper dresses, which are a godsend for when you're not feeling particularly great about yourself.''

''I also wear their T-shirts inside out with a pair of my jeans and a fabulous pair of sunglasses. For me that's a look that just can't go wrong.''

This slut is useless. That's easy for her ass to say. She has nothing but time to spend her husband's cash!







[All Headline]

Was He Raised by Animals?!

What the hell-o is wrong with Steve-o! Here's that dweeb trying to get more media attention by pulling out his small willy at a pre-Oscar party and pissing all over the carpet. Honestly! Who does that? Actually, I'd hit it and yes I'd golden shower with him. Just kidding, y'all!

What the Hell is Wrong with MK?!

TMZ's video cameras captured Mary-Kate Olsen laying in a fetal position in the back of her car as she's driven away from an Oscar party. Damn, sober up bitch! You're only 19! Do those things behind closed doors. I'm not hating on her though, because at least she's in the back seat of a limo...shit I've been in the fetal position in alleyways!

Click here to watch video

Afternoon Crumbs

Oh my! I've missed Rosie Perez [Concrete Loop]

Braddox in Berlin [Just Jared]

Jake Gyllenhaal tries to be straight [Cityrag]

Naomi Campbell can write? [Gabsmash]

Kate Moss uses a Faberge egg to carry her coke [Hollywood Rag]

The X-Men 3 trailer has arrived [IDLYITW]

Avril Lavigne thinks she's a model [Egotastic!]

Bachelor Travis has officially dumped Sarah [Popsugar]

Believe It or Not! I'm Walking on Air!

So looks like things are back to normal for Nicole Richie and DJ AM. I like to see them in love and hopefully this kind of happiness will force this bitch to eat an entire cake. Because I know when I'm in love I just want to eat a huge birthday cake like with frosting and shit. Ok that's not true, but if we tell her that she won't wise up to it.





[JJB]

She's Not Just Fat!

Britney Spears apparently has revealed that she has reason to be fat. She's pregnant, y'all! There have been several rumors over the last month that she's knocked up with the sperm of KFed yet again. God save us all!

Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline are telling friends that they're expecting a second child — less than six months after their first, Sean Preston, was born.

"I'm pregnant!" revealed the 24 year-old pop star to another woman in the spa at Maui's Four Seasons Hotel where Britney, Kevin and their baby son are staying.

Federline, 27, also delivered the bombshell baby news to a friend, who told Star: "Kevin said, 'Britney's pregnant again,' and when I expressed surprise he said, 'Yeah, it shocked the sh-- out of me too.'"

Seriously, why don't these two stop delaying the inevitable and just move into a fucking trailer already. Because flash to 10 years and that's where they will be with their 9 kids and KFed's girlfriend and shit.

[Star Magazine]

You Know There's Coke in that Teddy Bear!

Oh and that's her baby daddy. Bitch does look hot though, I'll give her that.

Jack Nicholson's Daughter is Kind of Hot!

And she knows it. Damn! Jack has a really young daughter for being so damned old. Seriously, look at her. You know she's the bad girl in school. That one's gonna be a star!

In other Jack Nicholson news - Keira Knightley was left devastated and hurt after Jack didn't make a pass at her at an Oscar party.

She said: "Everyone's been asking if Jack made a pass at me. He didn't at all and now I'm getting a bit paranoid. Why didn't he make a pass at me?"

Well, probably because you have a voice like a parrot and tits like a 10yo boy!

[Post Chronicle]

Dolly Parton Quote of the Day!

on her campaign for an Oscar win:

"Harvey Weinstein has worked my country butt off. Harvey, I'm not going to run for president, but if I did, I would want you for my campaign manager. I think we've had enough boobs in the White House."

Barbara Streisand Should Go Back to the 3rd Grade!

Barbara Streisand is not only fat and annoying, but she's an idiot. Babs wrote an essay about President Bush being an idiot and let's just say it's the pot calling the kettle black. She could've at least used spell check!

Drudge reports that in her February 28th, 2006 essay, Streisand misspells 11 words, which Matt notes is 'a personal record.'

Those 11 words are as follws:

• Irag
• curruption
• dictatoriship
• crediblity
• Adminstration
• warrented
• desperatly
• preceedings
• ouside
• subpoening
• responsibilty

And in the following sentence, the woman who needs people makes an astonishing four spelling errors -- in one sentence! Even to here at the oft spellcheck challenged tPC are taken back by this one.

["In the 1970's, during the Nixon Adminstration, serious political curruption arose and the Republican leadership stepped up and took responsibilty by holding hearings and subpoening administration officials."]

This bitch should only open her mouth to sing AND eat!

UPDATE - That dumbee bitch is passing the blame!

[Post Chronicle]

Need a Bottle Opener on the Red Carpet?!

Just scream for Gary Busey!

Kimora is a Dude, Right?

Someone confirm this, please! She used to be a Thai hooker right?!

Mimi Has Thighs of Steel!

Mimi insists that she has gotten into top shape and is sick of people calling her fat! At the SoHo House Oscar after-party she cornered Page Six!

"Everyone said I was fat, so I did something about it," slap-happy songbird Mariah Carey blurted to Page Six, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Here! Feel my thighs! Feel my butt!"

After several requests, Page Six agreed to fondle her newly firmed physique, and can confirm the absence of unsightly "jelly."

"See?" Carey said, proudly. "I'll never be a stick woman, but now I'm fierce!"

This bird is cuckooo! She's still fat.

[Page Six]

Yanni Arrested!

This one makes me laugh! Easy-listening star Yanni has been arrested and spent the night in jail after he slapped the shit out of his girlfriend in Florida.

Yanni, 51, whose legal name is John Yanni Christopher, struck the woman after he told her to leave his beachfront home and she was gathering her belongings Thursday night, a police report said. The woman, Silvia Barthes, 33, of Miami Beach, had a mark on her face and accused him of grabbing her arms and throwing her on a bed, the report said.

The Greece-born keyboardist and composer faces a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. His West Palm Beach-based attorney, Orlando Gonzalez, denied Barthes' allegations. He called Yanni a non-violent man who would never hurt anyone.

"He's the most gentle man around," Gonzalez said. "His hands are his instruments."

Yeah instruments that not only create music that could put a bull to sleep, but also instruments that will slap the shit out of you!

[Chicago Tribune]

Do You Wanna Smell Desperate?

Well now you can! Perfume makers Cody have signed a deal with the producers of Desperate Housewives to produce a fragrance based on the show that will debut this fall.

The scent, which is being designed to conjure up the smells of the ladies of Wisteria Lane, will debut in select department stores later this year.

ABC Entertainment spokesman Bruce Gersh says, "The 'Desperate Housewives' scent is guaranteed to be a hit with women everywhere, connecting them in a very personal way to this popular series."

The project marks the first time that Coty has teamed up with a major studio to develop a fragrance inspired by a hit TV show.

So it's gonna be a mixture of botox, desperation, old vagina and tears! How lovely!

[SF Gate]

Rings of Truth?

Rumors are all over the internet that Brangelina have already been married. The proof they say is the similar rings both are wearing. Angelina Jolie wears a gold band on her thumb while Brad Pitt wears a very similar ring on his middle finger. Could this be the way the couple shows each other....actually I don't give a hell! Let them be married for Goddsakes! It's gonna end in a year anyway!



[TMZ] [Thanks Stacy]

R.I.P. Dana Reeve

[ABC News] [Thanks JenB]

The Dlisted Report

Jack Black has joined Noah Baumbach's (The Squid and the Whale) untitled film. Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh also star. Black will play the husband of a young woman who is visited at her upstate home by her sister and 12-year-old nephew. Baumbach's script originally was titled "Nicole in the Country," until that became too literal when Kidman committed. Shooting begins April 2nd in Long Island. [Variety]

Oscar-winner Phillip Seymour Hoffman has agreed to star opposite Laura Linney in The Savages. Hoffman and Linney will play siblings forced to care for their ailing and estranged elderly father. Shooting begins in New York this April. [Variety]

Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, Charlie Cox and Sienna Miller have all boarded Matthew Vaughn's (Layer Cake) Stardust which is an adaptation of a Neil Gaiman novel. The story concerns a star-crossed youth from the English village of Wall who tries to win the heart of his true love by searching for a falling star and heading into a magical world where he must deal with a witch and a pirate. Shooting begins next month in the UK. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

king kong v. godzilla - marrijain

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lisa Hartman Black

Birthday Sluts

Peter Sarsgaard (35)
Laura Prepon (26)
Rachel Weisz (35)
Wanda Sykes (43)
Bret Easton Ellis (43)
Taylor Dane (45)
Donn Murphy (48)
Michael Eisner (64)
Tammy Faye Bakker (65)

Get Her "Out" of This Cover!

Beem that bitch up Scotty!

Hot Slut of February: Henry Rollins

Henry Rollins has become the second man this year to win the coveted Hot Slut of the Month! He garnered 36% of your votes! Seriously, this bitch is hot!

Thanks to all for voting!

[Thanks Prico]

Love Will Keep Us Together!

Nicole Richie and DJ AM have been keeping bitches guessing as to whether they are on or off. For the past few weeks they have been seen together holding hands and out on romantic dinners. At last night's Oscar parties they were seen leaving and entering together.

A Dlisted reader was at the SoHo House party in the Hollywood Hills and saw the two kissing and cuddling and said the two were very much together.

Ok, this bitch is hot but how does he screw her?! Honestly, don't you think she "ouches" to every poke and prod? You know bitch can't take a good fuckin'! She don't have the ass to ride with the big dogs.

Pete Burns Gets Real

Pete Burns channels Memoirs of a Geisha for a book signing in London. Yup, Pete is putting out a book!

Celebrity Big Brother star and Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns views the first book jackets for his autobiography "Freak Unique" at the London Book Fair at ExCeL on March 5, 2006 in London, England. Burns has only just signed a deal with John Blake Publishing for the April 20 publication in which the singer reveals all about his Dead Or Alive days, past affairs and his plastic surgery and long-term marriage.

That book seems kind of thin for him to reveal all of his plastic surgeries!



[Thanks to George]

Attack of the Clones!

Yup, that's Eddie Van Halen!

[Thanks Pat]

Shar Jackson Steals Britney's Song!

Britney Spears stole Shar Jackson's boyfriend so Shar returned the favor by stealing Britney's song! Listen to Shar's horrific version of Toxic on her label's MySpace.

Terrence Howard Gay?!

No! MediaTakeout has put together this video in which they feel that TH is a flaming homo. Hmm...for some reason my gaydar says no to that one!

You Know You Wanna Hit This!

Afternoon Crumbs

Sienna Miller thanks her fag [Popsugar]

Tons more Oscar crap [Just Jared]

Mary Kate Olsen to star in next Harry Potter film [A Socialite's Life]

Did Keira Knightley get a nose job? [TBLE]

Pamela Anderson's nip slip [Hollywood Tuna]

Jon Bon Jovi hates Jello [Hollywood Rag]

Tom Cruise has a birthing plan [IDLYITW]

Vanity Fair's Oscar party mega post [Egotastic!]

There's now a comment moderator to keep everything in check. She's hot shit!

Don't Show Us the Back!

HoHan was a guest at Elton John's Oscar party and showed us that she's lost some weight and is probably going back to her whole anorexic-hooker look that she used to work. Seriously, she looks like a hungry alley-cat. I'm all for skinny, but not when it looks like you're going to topple over.



I've seen sexier backs on 85yo woman. And I'm not even joking!

Parasite and the Peacock!

When I saw these pictures of that dumb bitch Parasite Hilton at Elton John's Oscar party, I immediately wished I was there! Why?! So I could quickly run to a magic store (because there's so many of those in L.A.) and find a spell to bring that dead peacock back to life so it could peck the shit out of that dumb bitch!

In other Parasite news, apparently she didn't attend the VF party because her parents were not allowed in.



[JJB]

Naomi Campbell Quote of the Day!

"I'm certainly not a high maintenance girlfriend. "I'm very giving, although I'm demanding of their emotions. As for fashion, I have never been ashamed of liking nice things."

It's the Little Things

Airhead and pothead Drew Barrymore has once again reminded us that it's the little things in life that keep us fascinated.

"I am obsessed with ice cubes. Obsessed!"

Can't you just picture her saying that in her lispy voice?

"I am obthethed with ithe cubes. Obthethed!"

I hope she said that AFTER the giant toke she took!

[Tonight]

Natalie Portman Raps!

The guest host of Saturday Night Live this week was Natalie Portman. She did this little rap skit that was actually kind of funny. You know KFed is like really in love with her now.

Lourdes Thinks Her Mom's a Lesbian!

Lourdes was left confused about her mother's sexuality when she saw her lock lips with Britney Spears during the MTV Awards. Vadge has cleared things up with her daughter by letting her know it was purely spiritual.

She said: "I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star and I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her."

Seriously who says that shit?! Just tell her the truth. "Darling, mama's career is pretty much washed up so I needed to whore myself out like that so people felt I was still sexy and current!"

Be real!

[IOL] [Thanks Stacy]

Kate Moss Rode the White Line in Nelson Mandela's House!

Gavin Maselle, a model booker and former friend of Kate Moss has claimed that she used to be one of the biggest coke whores of all time and even snorted coke in Nelson Mandeal's bathroom! That's kind of glamorous.

He said: "“We were there at Mandela'’s house in the Bishop'’s Court area of Cape Town and Kate was doing coke."

He also said that he was disgusted with her when right before a fashion show she did a line off of a dirty floor backstage.

"I couldn't believe it. It was gross and unhygienic but she didn't care."

The thing is Kate has nearly doubled her earnings ever since this whole scandal has exploded. So, I don't think she gives a fig about all these new allegations. It's just giving her more money in her checking account and more drugs up her nose!

[Female First]

Mama's Gotta Pay the Bills!

Do not invite Tara Reid to your house or event, because she will rob yo ASS! Tara and pals went to one of those pre-Oscar schwag events hoping to score some free shit. Well, some diamond place was giving out gift bags with a $1,000 diamond bracelet in each bag. When Tara and crew heard about this shit, they cleaned house!

A source said: "Tara and some friends came and swiped almost all of the gift bags. Gone! They took them all! Thieves!"

Hey, crack, booze and abortions don't come cheap! Give the girl a break!

[Page Six]

Toothy and a New Beard?

I read this in today's Page Six:

Jake Gyllenhaal, single since his split with Kirsten Dunst last year, was "getting cozy" with fellow Oscar nominee Keira Knightley in L.A. in the days leading up to the ceremony. "They were at Soho House two nights in a row together and definitely looked like a couple," snitched our spy.

They were totally just swapping make-up tips.

[Page Six]

More Oscar Fugliness!

Helena Bonham Carter looked like a Russian mail order bride on her wedding day. Seriously, the only thing missing is some cheap costume jewelry and a tired mink!



Maggie Gyllenhaal looks good from this angle, but you know straight on it's like looking into Medusa's eyes. And that pocket on dress thing is really getting to me.



I'm surprised Melissa Rivers can even turn her botox-ridden face that way.



Joan Rivers, Queen of the Wax Museum.



Lauren Hutton was on her way to do charity work at the horse stables and thought she'd just stop in for some Zima.

Oscars: Who Looked Like Shit and Who Looked Hot

Let's start with Jello and her skeleton wife. First of all, she had too much mystic going on and it looks like she rubbed a little on him so he looked a little human. And Jello I'm so sick of the severe bun!



Uma Thurman was the Ghost of Christmas Fug!



Nicole Kidman, see what I said about Uma above



Keira Knightley was straight out of Bram Stoker's Dracula and bitch needs to keep her mouth shut, because her voice is utterly repulsive!



Naomi Watts are you pregnant with a fisherman's baby? Seriously that dress did nothing for her stomach and all that fishnet and seaweed just made me yearn for some crab legs.



I love me some Salma Hayek, but she needs to get a dress that fits her. We know you're more than T&A Salma, but that's all you seem to be giving us!



Sandra Bullock and the pocket dress. Enough said!



What the hell was Lisa Rinna doing there?! She got that dress at the discount rack of TJ Maxx!



Nancy O'Dell more like Nancy O'Smells.



Now let's give a little praise. I know it's foreign to us here, but we're gonna try. Jennifer Aniston looked rather nice and pulled together. She didn't try anything new, but she knows what works for her and she looked happy and fresh even though she's probably tearing up inside and really wants to cut herself up.



Jennifer Garner who had a baby a while ago also looked nice and glowy. I can say that a little part of me wanted that bitch to slip and fall when she was presenting her award, but she kept it together. Her forehead was a little brown though.



Jessica Alba had old-lady hair, but from the neck down she was hot shit.



Dolly Parton! I nearly died inside when she lost, but she held herself together. Dolly could wear a brown paper bag and she'd still make my best dressed list!



Okay, Michelle Williams was a little controversial and at first it didn't work for me but looking at it no, it does. She tried something new and she stood out. She actually doesn't look like she just stepped out of a trailer the way she normally does!



Felicity Huffman was almost perfect, except for those man pecs.



And my overall best dressed goes to the absolutely stunning Charlize Theron! She was way 80s Dynasty and I fucking loved it. Bitch looked like she was about to stomp into the boardroom and demand 90% ownership of Denver Carrington!



For a zillion more Oscar arrival pics go to Hollywood Rag!

Pilot Castings

Mena Suvari has joined the CBS pilot Orpheus playing the girlfriend to lead Nick D'Agosto

Blair Underwood has been signed to star in the CBS pilot Company Town playing a FBI agent

Lori Loughlin of Full House has joined the ABC pilot In Case of Emergency

Jerry Bruckheimer has cast Kerr Smith (Dawson's Creek) in the lead role of the Fox pilot American Crime

Rebecca Gayheart will have a role in Vanished for Fox. The pilot is about the disappearance of a senator's wife and will unfold in real-time TV over the course of one season

The Dlisted Report

Todd Haynes (Far From Heaven) star-studded unconventional biopic of Bob Dylan called I'm Not There is moving forward. I'm Not There is designed to star upwards of a half-dozen prominent actors as the singer-songwriter, portraying different stages of his life and various humors of his nature. The film follows seven characters, each embodying a different aspect of Dylan's life story and music. It's the first biographical feature project to secure the approval of the pop culture icon. Playing Dylan will be Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Colin Farrell, Richard Gere, Charlotte Gainsbourg and Julianne Moore. Shooting begins this summer in Romania. [Production Weekly]

New Line Cinema has picked up a horror film pitch called Pan. The story is a backward take on J.M. Barrie's "Peter Pan" with supernatural elements in which the Pan character's a villain tracked by police captain named Hook. [Variety]

Madea's Family Reunion remained the #1 movie at the box office bringing in $13 Million. 16 Blocks came in at #2 with $11 Million and Eight Below brought in just over $10 Million to come in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Tug of whore. - Fo Sho

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jacklyn Zeman

Birthday Sluts

Moira Kelly (38)
Shaquille O'Neal (34)
D.L. Hughley (43)
Tom Arnold (47)
Rob Reiner (59)
Kiki Dee (59)
Anna Maria Horsford (61)

The Biggest Upset!

What is being called the biggest upset in Oscars history, Crash went away with Best Picture. Those GD homophobes! But producer Cathy Schulman is not only a polygamist, but a bi-sexual polygamist!

In her acceptance speech she thanked both "my husband and my wife"

How do you feel about that Academy?

It's Oscar Time!

First of all, what the hell is Gayle King doing at the Oscars?! Did ABC promote her from Oprah's fluffer to the whole network's fluffer? Damn!

Anyway, use this post to dish and rag on everyone who looks like shit and says stupid things. Such as I just watched that dumb bitch Naomi Watts on E! talk about the dumb Lexus hybrid for like 10 minutes. Dumb Bitch!

And, just so I can finally convince you that I'm psychic here's my guesses for the major categories! Have fun y'all!

Best Picture
Brokeback Mountain

Best Actor
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Capote

Best Supporting Actor
George Clooney, Syriana

Best Actress
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

Best Supporting Actress
Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardner

Best Animated Feature
Wallace & Gromit

Best Director
Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain

Best Screenplay, Adapted
Brokeback Mountain

Best Screenplay, Original
Crash

Best Song
Dolly Parton, Travelin Thru

Say Something Nice

Britney Spears: Um...err...damn...this is one of the hardest things I've had to do. Well, um...damn I give up!

Flavor of Love: Oh No They Didn't!

Damn them! I really thought tonight was the Finale of Flavor of Love and it was just some stupid recap show! There was really nothing new. They just went over the season's greatest moments which we've all seen. But, here's a funny one they didn't show last week.

It's New York and Hoopz getting some new gold teeth together just in case they win! You know he fingered them too.



That looks like egg yolk!



You know Hoopz ain't some of that shit.



What the hell is New York doing?! She's such a slut that she's automatically trained to just swallow.



Quack Quack!



Another funny moment came after last week's fight when Flav told New York that after the champagne toast she could go and kick Pumkin's ass. So after the toast she goes upstairs and puts her weave up and then comes down to do some white-girl slapping when the producers tell her that she doesn't have time, because they have to go to Mexico! Damn, those producers!



I guess we have to wait YET another week to see who finally gets stuck with that piece of disgusting. In the meantime call Flav and tell him what you think!

Pamela Anderson is Confused

Pamela Anderson seems to have forgotten that she's been the star of several sex tapes. Because this is what she had to say about her ex-boyfriend Kid Rock's boyfriend:

"I didn't know guys did that, sit side by side getting blowjobs while they're talking sports ... 'Hey, how bout those Red Sox' ... I can't imagine I'd ever do that. But the timing's good, he's got a new record coming out."

Yeah she knows about side by side blowjobs, because she's usually the one giving them. And Pam people actually use their sex tapes to promote themselves?! You don't say!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Week: Tiffany Brissette

Age: 31
Birthday: December 26, 1974
Birth Name: Tiffany Michelle Brissette

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: February 27,2006
Claim to Fame: Playing Vicky the Robot on Small Wonder

Where is she now? Received a bachelor's degree in psychology from Westmont College and still does voice-over work.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Because she was robbed of an Emmy for her brilliant role as Vicky the Robot.

Jermaine Jackson Explodes!

Jermaine Jackson is set to follow in the footsteps of his tranny-sister LaToya Jackson by lashing out against his brother Michael Jackson. Jermaine is looking to publish a tell-all autobiography that he hopes will blow the lid on his brother's manic behavior.

In a tell-all outline shopped to publishers just weeks after Michael's arrest in November 2003, Jermaine described the Pop King as a sometimes out-of-control drug and booze abuser with a calculating mean streak and "a thing for young children."

The eight-page proposal for "Legacy: Surviving the Best and the Worst," lists Michael Jackson's preferred substances as Vicodin, Demerol, codeine, Percocet, cocaine, Jack Daniels and wine.

He admits that the family has protected Jacko's image and says that Jackson also cheats, lies and even changed the color of his skin.

Even the pop star's behavior with his own nephews has left his family "shaken," according to Jermaine. He recounts the family coming together after the death of brother Tito's ex-wife in the mid 1990s and finding Michael sitting on a bed with Tito's young sons and holding them in a disturbing manner.

Hmm...Jack Daniels? I truly would've figured Jacko for a Chardonnay kind of gal.

[NY Daily News] [Thanks Stacy]

Vadge to do The Simpsons

Our favorite Material Girl will use her vocals on an episode of The Simpsons.

According to the Daily Star, Madonna is set to make a guest appearance on
The Simpsons. Madonna will take a liking to Homer before going head-to-head
with Marge in a battle for his heart.

"It's Madge versus Marge, and Madonna will certainly show Homer a thing or
two that Marge has never attempted," a source told the newspaper.

The singer is following in the footsteps of U2, Elton John, Tom Jones and
Paul McCartney, who have all made visits to Springfield in the past.

And here's some pics of Miss V at a few Oscar parties. Notice she's wearing a lovely t-shirt claiming she's Queen of the Dance Floor. More like Granny of the Dancefloor.

[Thanks Youri]

Parasite Hilton Wins an Award!

Parasite Hilton should be proud that she actually won something! Parasite took home Worst Supporting Actress for her work in House of Wax at last night's Razzie Awards! I must say that she should be very proud and she deserved this honor. She joins Jenny McCarthy, Rob Schneider, Hayden Christensen, Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell in worst acting honors.

See the entire list here!

[Thanks to Mom the Mumsie]

Yuck, Britney Has Cankles!

[Thanks Kristi]

Hot Slut of the Day!

New York from Flavor of Love

Birthday Sluts

Niki Taylor (31)
Andy Gibb (48)
Jake Lloyd (17)
Jolene Blalock (31)
Eva Mendes (32)
Teena Marie (50)
Penn Jillette (51)