The Balcony's Back!

It was deja vu when Britney Spears and KFed hit the balcony in Hawaii. Seriously that bitch needs to put a shirt on. He better not be giving Brit shit for being heavy, because by the looks of his gut it looks like he's the one carrying their second child. That being said, I'd still hit it!

Father & Son

Ryan Phillipe and his son go for a little bike ride. You won't see Reese doing this shit, because someone has to pay the bills!

[JJB]

Spike Lee Quote of the Day!

"I dislike Condoleezza Rice more than [President] Bush. The thing about it is that she's gotten a free ride from black people. People say, 'She's so successful' and 'Look at her position as a black woman.' She is a black woman who grew up in Birmingham, Ala., and said that she never experienced a day of racism in her life,"

"Condi, stop smoking that crack! I know you love your Ferragamo shoes, but come on. While people were drowning in New Orleans, she was going up and down Madison Ave. buying Ferragamo shoes. Then she went to see 'Spamalot.'"

Black Don't Crack!

Naomi Campbell once said that she would never have plastic surgery because according to her "black don't crack." Well, so it's no surprise that the uber-bitch is suing the self proclaimed King of Botox for using her name to endorse his products.

Naomi Campbell is suing a so-called "King of Botox" for claiming she endorses him and his products. According to the London Sun, Campbell, 35, has instructed lawyers to start High Court proceedings in London against Dr. Jean-Louis Sebagh. The pre-action disclosure involves two articles on the surgeon, published in Hello!, which included photos of Campbell and stated that she's a client. "Our client does not endorse Dr. Sebagh's products," the leggy model's lawyer told the Sun.

Please, this chick is so vain that probably uses botox on her gina.

[Page Six]

A Clay Impersonator?

Both The National Enquirer and Star Magazine ran these photos of Clay Aiken chatting up some gay dudes. The Post Chronicle brings up an interesting new tidbit. Some are saying that the man in the picture is NOT Clay Aiken, but female impersonator Coti Collins who also impersonates Clay Aiken from time to time. Also, others came forward saying that John Paulus (who alleges he had sex with Clay) knows Coti Collins very well.

John Paulus met Mr Collins at the gay club Legends and the two conspired to bring the salacious story to the gay media and tabloids hoping to make a porn movie spoofing American Idol. All was a total fabrication thought up originally by John Paulus to enhance his porn career. Mr Michael Lucas of Lucas Entertainment did not know of the plot.

I could only find this picture of Coti Collins. Who knows whether or not this is true. I mean the whole story could've been fabricated by Clay's camp and so who knows.

Caught Sucking Dick!

A Florida woman who hopes to remain anonymous is suing the company that is trying to release a video featuring Kid Rock, Scott Stapp and herself engaging in several sex acts on a tour bus years ago. The woman says she is facing emotional distress from having her privacy invaded. She is only one of several chicks featured pleasuring the two dudes.

A Florida woman who stars in the Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex tape has filed a lawsuit against the California company that has recently tried to market the racy video of her 1999 tour bus encounter with the two rock stars. In a complaint filed yesterday in Miami-Dade County Circuit Court, the woman, identified only as "Jane Doe," contends she has suffered emotional distress (and had her, um, privacy invaded) as a result of the attempted sale of the video by World Wide Red Light District. While a federal judge last month halted the video's distribution at the request of Rock (real name: Robert Ritchie), segments of the sex tape have appeared online. According to the complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, "Jane Doe" is "one of four women who participated in the sexual acts, after a romantic interlude" with Stapp. "For all purposes, she is the star of the females," wrote the woman's lawyer, Scott Salomon, who told TSG that his client is a student from Miami. Salomon declined to further identify his client. In addition to naming World Wide and company officer David Joseph in her complaint, the woman is also suing Stapp, former lead singer of Creed. Stapp, pictured above in a still from the sex tape, has recently alleged that the video was stolen from him, a claim that World Wide has denied.

I don't feel for this bitch! Shouldn't she have thought about that while someone was waving a camera in your face while you had a dirty dick in your mouth?

[The Smoking Gun] [Thanks Stacy]

Nick Lachey Plays Around

Since his divorce to Chestica Simpson went public, Nick Lachey has been linked to everyone from some Miss Kentucky bimbo to Cheryl Burke to Alyssa Milano and now to Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari. Apparently, Nick introduced her to his mother last week. The two were also seen leaving Koi together last night.




[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Hottie from Flavor of Love

Birthday Sluts

Chastity Bono (36)
Brooklyn Beckham (6)
Patsy Kensit (38)
Steven Weber (44)
Patricia Heaton (47)
Catherine O'Hara (51)

Meg Ryan Heart Collagen

Meg Ryan was on Oprah and showed us more of her fugly face. Seriously, I don't think she was ever a beauty but she at least looked natural. Just look at her! She looks like a CGI version of herself! Anyways, she went on Oprah to talk about her grief and shit.

After two years mostly out of the spotlight, Meg Ryan resurfaced on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on Wednesday, speaking out about her "unhealthy" marriage to Dennis Quaid ("I should have left sooner") and her newly adopted baby girl, Daisy.

The actress dished about her much-publicized involvement with co-star Russell Crowe and split with Quaid in 2001. Although Crowe was cited as the cause of Ryan and Quaid's breakup, the actress denied that was the case.

"It was never about another man," she said. "My and Dennis' relationship just couldn't sustain."

It wasn't another man, but it was another needle! A needle in your mouth. Look at how cute she used to look. Her and Tom Hanks should reteam again for Fugly in Seattle.



[Chicago Tribune]

Who Will be the Winner of Flavor of Love?!

One of the greatest shows in history will have its finale this Sunday on Vh1. This is an extremely emotional and sad time for me. FOL and I have been like best friends. We've done everything together and now it's our time to say goodbye. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Flava Flav has two lovely dudes to choose from. This is where I'm torn. I really think he belongs with New York, because both of them are equally as disgusting. However, I would also like him to pick Hoopz because then NY will go ballistic. I mean, I can picture her killing someone.

Some of the rumors are that Flav picks Hoopz at which NY tells him in tears that she's pregnant with his baby. That would be hot.

Another rumor is that in the end he chooses New York and they get married and at the wedding her mom stops the nuptials to tell Flav she is a post-op tranny. Super hot, but most likely not going to happen.

Either way the dick falls, I will be there. Now many of you probably don't know what to do since FOL runs against the Oscars this Sunday. Well do not fret, set your DVRs and TiVOS to record the show Sunday at noon. This way you can enjoy it all!

Britney Spears Likes to Eat Around Scat!

Diners at an L.A. restaurant were horrified when Britney Spears son SPF took a dump in his diaper. That wasn't what horrified them. What made them nearly vom was when Britney being the white-trash bitch she is changed his ass in front of everyone!

When a fellow diner complained, the manager said: "It's Britney Spears--what can we do?"

Well, you can rub that baby diarrhea in that chick's face and then kick her to the curb! She probably didn't even wash her hands.

[E! Online] [Thanks Mouse]

Woah!!!

I hate to say this, but Fergie actually looks human standing next to the fugliness of Tom Hanks. Seriously, she should haul that man around wherever she goes. He's like good lighting.

Afternoon Crumbs

Britney Spears and George Takei on Will & Grace [Just Jared]

The future of Smurfette [Yeah, I Live in Worcester]

JRM gets GAY in L'Uomo Vogue [A Socialite's Life]

Gary Glitter heads to the slammer [Hollywood Rag]

Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe do it for their pets [IDLYITW]

Tobey Maguire's girl likes her man fat [Glitterati]

Paula Abdul goes nuts at the airport [TMZ]

Don't expect Natalie Portman to go nude [Egotastic!]

Chestica Simpson in W Magazine

Blah...Blah..and Blah! This is concrete evidence that W Magazine will put just about anyone on their cover. I used to think they were kind of picky. Guess not.





Oh and her's an outtake from the shoot!

Paula Abdul is Losing Her Mind!

This is a pretty awful quality video of Paula Abdul on last night's American Idol telling two girls why they are in the bottom. You know sometimes Paula is completely calm and collected and other times she's on crack. I think there was a little mixture of bourbon, vodka, freon and Jesus juice in her Coke cup last night. She was off her fucking rocker. She couldn't stop laughing and she was leaning over in a slump. Check out the video!



And thanks to America for getting rid of that scab Brenna! God, I hated her ass. Here's what she said when she was eliminated:

"I just can't wait to start making some money. So any producers out there please call me so we can make some money."

Sweetie, the only money you're going to be making is in porn!



Speaking of porn...Heather Coxsucker was also let go. Well, you know where her career is headed or should I say her vagina.



[Pics: Rickey]

She'll Still Talking About It?!

It's been like 6 years since Isaac Mizrahi famously groped Scarlett Johansson's breasts at the Golden Globe Awards. She still is mouthing off about it.

"It was definitely in poor taste. I'’d been prepping for two hours with hair and makeup and getting dressed. And the first interview I do, someone who I have never met before fondles me for his own satisfaction."

"“Mostly, I was thinking, '‘Oh, my God. This is happening on live TV'. Like he doesn't know how a dress works. I'’m not mad at him."

"I think he's a guy that's starting his TV career and he's making a bit of an exciting moment for himself. I can'’t be angry at him."

Scarlett honey, maybe if you used this kind of emotion in your acting you'd be nominated this year!

[MSNBC]

Lisa Marie Punks the Press!

Oh! Lisa Marie Presley sure pulled one over on us! When news of her 50th marriage to musician Michael Lockwood hit, everyone thought that the wedding just happened. In fact the wedding was held back in January in Japan.

Her plastic mom said: "She had her dream, she wanted to see how long she could get away with it and it was great because she got away with it for a month."

Priscilla honey, I think the thing is nobody really cared.

Looking at these pics has even made me more fearful of the Presleys. They are nuts! This looks like a community theater production of The Mikado. And that silly Priscilla forgot to take her Kabuki mask off!










[IOL]

She's Not a Charlotte, She's a Daisy!

Meg Ryan has changed the name of her Chinese baby, because she's not feeling it.

"I already had to change her name. I thought she was Charlotte and she's just not...she's a Daisy."

And you're not a Meg, you're a moron!

[Female First]

Diddy Likes Cheap Hos

Recently Diddy was in Brazil enjoying Carnival when he and his posse decided to jump into a small club in Rio known for their cheap hookers.

A source said: "“The name of the place is ‘Help and the girls there are supposed to be the cheapest prostitutes in the city,"” "

“According to the local press he was annoyed when he saw the photographers and arranged to get in through the garage."

This explains his choice in women!



[MSNBC]

KFed on Vacation in Hawaii

I guess he's on vacation from vacation? Anyway, Mr. Britney Spears and his wife have gone back to Hawaii after spending Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Who is he calling anyway? Probably his crack dealer by the look of that crack nail. Seriously, how long is that thumb nail?! It's disgusting and I bet you that's how Brit likes to be fingered!

Um...Why Haven't They Left?!

The 60 staff members at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch in California lost all their health insurance benefits on February 28th. This is just the icing on the cake, because they haven't been paid in nearly 10 weeks.

The 60 or so employees of Michael Jackson who work in California — including his longtime aide Evvy Tavasci and all the people who toil at the Neverland Valley Ranch — lost their health insurance on Feb. 28.

On top of that, yesterday marked the 10th week that the staff went without paychecks. That's right: No one at Neverland has received any money since Dec. 23, 2005.

It's a serious situation. According to my sources, some Neverland staffers "basically maids, cooks, and groundskeepers ,have been applying to local welfare programs for assistance so they can feed their families.

"It's as if they're homeless," says a source familiar with the situation. "And the ironic thing is that there are at least two Rolls-Royces in Jackson's storage facility" "— in nearby Buellton "that could be sold so that the loyal staff can be paid."

There is something fishy going on here. Is Jacko giving them Jesus Juice, because if I haven't been paid for even 2 weeks I'm walking. And seriously you would see those cars on eBay if I was working for his dumb ass!

[Fox News] [Thanks Stacy]

What Did Jordan Do to Her Hair?!?!

WHAT THE HELL IN HARVEY'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?! Many of you will say she looks better, but now she looks terrible! Bitch is not Pat Benatar and shouldn't try to recreate the look. Oh how I miss the polyester extensions and the wigs made of yarn. Oh Jordan please be sensible and put together your porn star image yet again! She looks like she should drive me to grade school and pack me a turkey sandwich.

Anyway, here's Jordan's newest interview with OK! Magazine and gorgeous pictures of her lovely baby Junior Andre. You know Harvey hates that bitch and will tear his eyes out once he gets older. In the interview Katie Andre/Jordan/Katie Price/Sybil talks about how she won't move to America just yet and how she's still in talks for a role in Casino Royale, the role being veggie girl at the Kraft Services table.















And here's a vintage picture of the ever gorgeous Jordan with a baby Harvey!



[ONTD] [Thanks Colleen]

What is this Bitch Doing at a Bookstore?!

She probably just bought like a Candyland board game and her own books, because she thinks she looks cute. You know she doesn't read! She can't read!

Don't Go Down on Janeane Garofalo!

A reader sent this in to me:

Just read that on her Air America show Janeane Garlafalo said she will not shave her pussy until President Bush leaves office.

But was she shaving that shit in the first place? Yeah...probably not.

Classic Celine Dion!

I've seen this tape many times, but it's a classic. It's of Celine Dion back in the 80s performing as Vadge with wig and everything. Seriously, I've seen beat-up, old drag queens on crack doing a better impersonation than this!

[Thanks Paulie]

Scott Stapp is an Idiot!

Kid Rock is mad at Scott Stapp for losing the sex tape the two made together a few years ago.

He said: "He's the idiot because (the tape is) out. I'm holding him responsible."

The two currently have a temporary court order halting the tape from being distributed and put up for sale.

According to Rock, Stapp filmed the tape and was in possession of it, although Rock said he hadn't spoken to Stapp since the video was made. "At this point, I don't even care," Rock said, but then added: "If there's money to be made, it's my performance."

Stapp thought the tape's appearance was the result of someone conspiring against him. "Obviously someone wants to hurt me and doesn't want me to be successful in my solo career," the singer said.

But Rock greeted those words with derision. "This tape gets out – it's your tape – and you're (saying) someone's trying to sabotage your career?" he said.

Can I just say that both of these two fools are bumbling idiots. They are acting like a married couple.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

John Travolta and Queen Latifah have been confirmed to star in the big-screen version of Hairspray to be directed by Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House). Travolta will play the role made famous by Divine as Edna Turnblad. Latifah will play Motormouth Mabel. A current nationwide search is on for the lead role of Tracy Turnblad made famous by Ricki Lake. Production begins this Fall with a 2007 release. [New Line Cinema]

Lionsgate has announced that Saw III will open this coming Halloween. The makers of Saw II will reteam with shooting to begin shortly. A storyline or casting has not yet been revealed. [Lionsgate]

Brad Pitt's production company Plan B will produce a film-version of the novel The Sparrow as a possible vehicle for Pitt. The story revolves around a Jesuit priest who accompanies a crew of space travelers to a distant planet after Earth receives its first communication from an alien culture. The clergyman and crew befriend one of the planet's two races, unwittingly provoking a bloody war and shaking the foundations of the priest's faith. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

Rosie O'Donnell is set to play the part of Daisy in "Dykes of Hazzard" - Harvey

"i'm going to get my hair did. i'm gonna have cornrows put in, after they pluck my dingleberries and squeeze the juice." - Tim

It's easier to apply my hemmorroid ointment this way! - My Dooker Hurts!

[Thanks Seth]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Melissa Rivers

[For Sean]

Birthday Sluts

David Faustino (32)
Stacie Orrico (20)
Jessica Biel (24)
Ronan Keating (29)
Matthew Marsden (33)
Tone Loc (40)
Laura Herring (42)
Jackie Joyner-Kersee (44)
Miranda Richardson (48)

Flavor of Love: The Episode of the Gods

I'm sorry that I'm sooo late in posting this week's Flavor of Love recap. It took me a while to finally pull myself together after what was one of the greatest hours of TV in history. Fuck the MASH finale, this is the stuff TV dreams are made of!

Let's start with one of New York's infamous quotes:

"I am a natural beauty. I know. This we all know. But at the same time I am a woman that likes to play up her features. I know these bitches would love to look more like Miss New York. I just look damn good!"




continue reading "Flavor of Love: The Episode of the Gods"


Yeah, New York that fat gut is really damn good. You should add a little powder to that shit.



Pumkin & Hoopz agree!


Flav announces that he will meet all their parents! The first up is Pumkin's mom: Mrs. Pumkin!


Who is basically Pumkin in 3 years!



Things went well on the date until Mrs. Pumkin opened her mouth and told Flav that Pumkin is a reality show whore! When asked if she's ever been on shows, she said:

"I'm not trying to get on TV! I've just been on like 4 game shows, Blind Date and then a talk show and then this!"

Bitch, you are practically the President of SAG!



Next up was Flav's date with Hoopz's Mom! When Pumkin told NY of this, the bitch freaked out! I thought her eyes were going to roll into the back of her head!



LALALALALAA...I can't hear you!



However, NY held it together in order to slam Hoopz mom!



"The first time I saw Hoopz mom come through the door I didn't believe it was her mom. You know. It was like WHOAH this is a young girl. As I'm getting closer...I hope I get this right...there's an artist who's work they say looks better from afar..and then once you walk up it's like WEWWWW..so I kind of compare Hoopz mom to that artist's work"

Um that's a Monet you fat bitch and Cher from Clueless already said that shit! Come up with something more vintage if you wanna be cool. Try The Breakfast Club next time!



What a two-faced cunt!



At the luxurious restaurant of Medeival Times Flav pulled some playa power on Mrs. Hoopz. Oh and Hoopz told us she felt like a "celebrity" at the joint. Poor thing.



Mrs. Hoopz gave it right back and told Flav to come see her sometimes. But as Hoopz tells us, her mother has slept with her boyfriends in the past. Damn, I guess ho runs in the family!



After his date..Pumkin tries to win Flav back but he lets her know to let him go while he goes and drops the kids off at the pool. Not an image I need: Flav, poo poo and Pumkin.



Flav and Hoopz make grossness in the hot tub...



NY finds out and freaks out...so she eats a sandwhich!



Next up is one of the greatest TV moms of all time: Mrs. New York. Bitch kept it real!



Let's just say she wasn't impressed with Flav. TEAM MRS NEW YORK! She started on a piece of art which depicted Flav in the garden of eden. She thought it was rather "demonic."



This woman is a gem!



In the limo on the way to the tennis courts where they would be holding their date...Mrs. New York tells it like it is. She is the voice of the people!
Mrs. New York: "How old are you?" Flav: "46" Mrs. New York: "Ooohh...you're old!" Flav: "Doesn't she look great" (pointing to New York) Mrs. New York: "She looks fat. I just have to adjust to see you fat."

Is this the voice of Jesus?



At the date, New York really flips fucking out! She goes from high...



to low...

The shit hits the fan when she tells Mrs. New York that she loves him and wants to marry him!


"That's never gonna happen..EVER...EVER...EVER...EVER...EVER...EVER..."

Well, technically it's not legal yet for two dudes to marry in California! Sorry New York, maybe in '07!



Hey, her dad seemed to like him. But me thinks he's a little slow...



At the elimination ceremony...Pumkin knows her fate. Flav tells her that basically she's a lying bitch for not telling him she fucked a dude on Blind Date. But hasn't Flav been on like 10 reality shows himself? Pumkin doesn't take it lightly. But before we get to that, here's another wonderful quote from NY:
"Their both lesbians. I would say Pumkin is the lipstick lesbian and Hoopz would be the man!"

True dat!



When Pumkin gets let go she basically storms out and then comes back and lets her rage spew all over New York...She calls New York an aspiring actress...to which she responds with:
"Pumkin is eliminated and the fucking bitch tries to call me out! She's telling Flav that I'm an aspiring actress...which I am...but I've been real."

You honestly can't write shit this good!



And basically the next 60 seconds go by like a tornado! Pumkin calls NY a fat bitch and NY tells Pumkin she should get a face lift, they both call each other dudes...you know it's kind of like the comment section here at Dlisted! I knew I recognized those arguments somewhere!



And NY gets ready to pounce!



Yup, Hoopz I'm with you girl.



And ready.....aim...



Fire!



In the mouth!



Run bitch run, that he-lady is gonna attack you!



Oooh...girl you are gonna die! Do you see the light yet?



Yup, your loved ones are waiting for you at the end!



Thankfully, Pumkin's life was saved! But she got NY heated up and the bitch wanted to whoop her ass! Seriously, they should've let her. That could've been on the DVD. NY also didn't fail to give us another memorable quote:

"Her bref smelled like straight up shit! It smelled like a toilet full of nasty ass shit!"



When Flav gave NY her clock..all she could think about is taking her dick and slapping Pumkin's in-need-of-a-facelift face!




And in the end...we were all left breathless. We still can't get enough.

Alanis Morisette Could Be the Dumbest Bitch Alive!

*The photo agency that owns these pics asked me to remove them*

Alanis should be thanking the lord above that she snagged a hot man like Ryan Reynolds. I mean she's beyond fug and I don't know many dogs that would even hump her. Anyway, she's fueled reports that her engagement to Ryan is over after being spotted with a mystery man in Los Angeles without her ring on.

Morissette got engaged to Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds last year but never set a wedding date. At the Golden Globe Awards in January, Morissette -- who arrived solo on the red carpet -- told reporters the couple was hoping to tie the knot this summer.

But while Reynolds was in Vancouver shooting his new movie, Chaos Theory, the singer and her long-haired mystery man went shopping at the Bodhi Tree Bookstore in Beverly Hills and enjoyed lunch at the Urth Café.

The pair also spent almost an hour at the Beverly Springs Medical Center, where they reportedly had either acupressure massages or body treatments.

Then it was off to see Walk the Line at the Broadway Theatre in Santa Monica.

But sources suggest the tall, scruffy man with his arm around Morissette on Tuesday could be her older brother Chad.

That better her brother or I swear I'll slap that bitch myself!


I mean how could she leave that piece of ass? Even if he has a brain like a walnut, who gives a hell?! I mean Alanis, isn't it ironic that a fugly ho like you got this?! Don't you think?

HoHan and a Line of Coke...

Is that a line of the white shit I see on the table to the left?

She honestly looks fucked out of her mind in every single picture. However, I love the cross-eyed bitch in the middle. Coke done made her crazy!



Someone's grittin' their teeths!



HoHan, when you're high make sure you wire your mouth shut...because I can smell your coke breath from here!

Is There Anything Heidi Klum Won't Sell?!

Nope, I guess not.

Posh Wishes!

Breaking News! This just in from Posh Beckham's dreams:

London : Fans of former 'Spice Girls' band member Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham are hoping that they will soon get their idol on the silver screen, for the singer is said to have landed a major role in the big screen remake of the mega hit '80s TV serial 'Dynasty'.

Victoria is said to have landed the role of the catty Alexis, a character previously made famous by actress Joan Collins.

According to an insider, the producers wanted someone who epitomised British glamour and aloofness, and though they were at first looking to cast 'Bedazzled' beauty Elizabeth Hurley for the role, Victoria got the role instead after they decided that at 40, Hurley was a little too old for the part.

“The casting crew wanted someone British, glamorous and also slightly aloof. Elizabeth Hurley was suggested, but at 40 she's slightly too old for the role,” Femalefirst quoted the source, as telling Daily Star newspaper.

And let me guess, you've already been nominated for an Oscar for your performance Posh?!

[New Kerela]

R.I.P. Jack Wild!

Jack Wild, who earned an Oscar nomination as a teenager for his role as the Artful Dodger in the 1968 film "Oliver!" has died from cancer, his agent said Thursday. He was 53.

Wild died Wednesday, agent Alex Jay said. The actor was diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2000, and surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy had left him unable to speak.

[Washington Post]

Afternoon Crumbs

Jane Fonda's sex tape [WWTDD]

Brad Pitt and his Ducati in Paris [Just Jared]

Eddie Murphy likes helping trannies [Hollywood Rag]

Angelina Jolie finds Brad Pitt's old bimbos [IDLYITW]

Bruce Willis' new piece [Egotastic!]

Getting shot at the Kanye West show [Glitterati]

Bill Maher in heaven [Concrete Loop]

Damn! You got a big head [Cityrag]

Is Nick Lachey Banging His Brother's Dance Partner?

Nick Lachey and some pals dined at Koi last night and Drew Lachey's dance partner Cheryl Bruke came along for the grub. Witnesses say that Nick and Cheryl are now dating after meeting through Nick's brother on Dancing with the Stars.

Nick is seriously being linked to just about everyone, but me. And why isn't that happening? Anyway, this is a serious upgrade from that tuna-lipped Chestica!

Moronic eBay Item of the Day

Brokeback Pez Dispenser!

I don't want to quit you, BB jokes!

[Thanks Dlistedbitch]

Somebody Needs to Tell Sienna...

They need to tell Sienna Miller that bitch looks even fuglier when she's mad. I mean when she's just normal she's beyond fug, but put an angry face on her and suddenly she has meth mouth.

The actress was seen leaving Sketch via the back door at 1am with a female friend on February 17. As they were escorted by a minder through some building work, she was heard to say 'I am going to talk to this photographer'. She then launched herself towards him and tried to grab his camera. After hitting him and screaming frantically at him, she jumped into a black cab, leaving behind her chauffeur driven Bentley.

Ok, the paparazzi needs to band together and refuse to shoot her. I bet she'll fucking beg for it. This bitch should be lucky that the camera can withstand her fugly mug!

[ONTD]

Nicole & DJ AM Hold Hands Again!

For the second time in a month DJ AM and Nicole Richie held hands while they left a restaurant after dining together. The two still insist they are not together and merely friends. I believe them.

He's probably just holding her hand, because she has a hard time walking on her own since her legs are the size of q-tips.

Gwen Stefani Channels Xtina

[Teddy and Moo]

Colin Farrell Doesn't Want to Talk!

Colin Farrell is dodging lawyers and doesn't want to give a deposition in the lawsuit he filed against Nicole Narain for a sex tape they made together.

Farrell seeks general and compensatory damages as well as an injunction prohibiting the promotion and sale of the tape. The lawsuit also says the release of the videotape would irreparably harm Farrell's reputation and career, and he is demanding that all copies of the tape be returned to him.

"We've been trying to do the plaintiff's deposition for the last three months," said Leodis Matthews, who represents Playboy Playmate Narain. "We've heard everything from (drug) rehabilitation to travel outside the country."

Farrell's lawyer, Paul Berra, declined comment.

Colin is currently in New York filming his newest project Pride of Glory. He's fresh out and rehab and looking much better.

Tara Reid's Tummy is Like Curdled Milk!

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH very married pop superstar played a vigorous game of tonsil hockey with the much-younger drummer in her band at a recent L.A. party?

Madonna

WHICH junior editor at a top fashion bible wouldn't give up until she won the door prize at a recent jeweler's dinner? Instead of taking her chances and opening only one jewelry box, like the other editors, this raven-haired beauty kept opening them until she found the diamond earrings.

Who cares

[Page Six]

Tsk..Tsk....

This magazine is claiming to have photos and IMs of Clay Aiken. Do they think we are blind?! That is not Clay Aiken! Clay is not that fucking tan! He's transparent! I smell a lawsuit or maybe that's just Clay's jizz-breath.

I Bet They Were Rough With Em'!

The Humane Society is fighting mad at the producers of Brokeback Mountain, because they felt the sheep of the film weren't treated right.

The letter sent to Ang Lee said:

"The excessively rough handling of the sheep and horses leaves viewers questioning whether anyone was looking out for the safety of those animals,"

"And many also wonder how the filmmakers got the elk to lose its footing and crumple to the ground 'on cue' after being shot."

Did the letter say anything about the sheep's having bloody arseholes?

[NY Post] [Thanks Stacy]

Get Out Your Ear Plugs!

Pamela Anderson is taking singing lessons! Yes, it's true. Pam is preparing for her upcoming role in the feature film version of the TV series Baywatch. Pam's character gets to sing one song in the film and I guess producers are cheap and don't want to hire a pro singer for Pam to lip-sync to. Instead they wish to torture us with the sound of two cat's fighting over a fish head.

Pam said: "I get to sing a song in the movie and I figured that I better do it right,"

In her defense she's probably drank enough musician jizz to give her some kind of talent, right?

[Webindia] [Thanks Stacy]

Dude, You're Nominated! Get Better Vagina!

The Oscar-nominated director of Capote, Bennett Miller has found love with one of Hollywood's biggest pieces of trash. Courtney Love and Bennett met at a party and were introduced by Capote co-star Catherine Keener.

The pair were spotted "all over each other" at the Chateau Marmont hotel bar in Hollywood.

A source told the paper: "They're crazy about each other.

"They clicked after they were introduced at a party by Capote star Catherine Keener. They are officially an item."

He's not that unfortunate looking! He's kind of cute. Why is he hanging around that scab? Maybe he's doing research for his next movie? Is his next movie about homeless hippos?

[Sky News] [Thanks Albz]

Parasite Hilton Has a Warning for Charlize

I believe that Parasite Hilton's acting achievements will grant her many awards. The awards being Razzies. Her new found acting confidence has also given her grand delusions. She told EW Weekly that Charlize Theron better watch out for her.

She said: "My acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to Charlize so we may end up vying for the same parts."

Sometimes, you the power of words really take your breath away.

[The Sun] [Thanks to Tushkin]

Jordan is an Animal Lover!

Jordan and her husband Peter Andre spent their afternoon with their beautiful new puppies in a UK park. Things look rated G in these pics, but you know behind clothes doors these bitches get all freaky with their new four-legged friends!











[Sky News] [Thanks to Albz]

Christians Hate Michelle Williams

Michelle Williams went to a religious school in San Diego called Santa Fe Christian School. The headmaster of the school isn't so proud of their Oscar nominated alumni and don't want anything to do with her.

Not so proud is Santa Fe Christian headmaster Jim Hopson. “We don't want to have anything to do with her in relation to that movie,” said Hopson, who turned down a request from a Union-Tribune reporter to visit the school and chat with students about the movies and one of their own being up for an Academy Award.

“Michelle doesn't represent the values of this institution. We would not approve of her movies and TV shows (including the teen drama “Dawson's Creek”). We'd not like to be tied to 'Brokeback Mountain.'

“I hope we offered her something in life. But she made the kinds of choices of which we wouldn't approve. 'Brokeback Mountain' basically promotes a lifestyle we don't promote. It's not the word of God.”

Why do Christians always gotta ruin someone's parade? Don't they want money? What they needed to do was praise her ass and hit her up for cash! Come on now! Even Jesus needs dough.

[SignOn San Diego] [Thanks Pat]

Bobbi Kristina Follows Her Parents Footsteps

The spawn of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown is putting together her own superstar girl-group in hopes of becoming just as successful as her crackhead parents. Bobbi's new group is called Sistars. No other information was given about the group or their future plans.

Sistars?! Looks like she learned to spell from her daddy.

[Tabloid Whore] [Thanks Stacy]

Pilot News!

Tia Mowry (Sister, Sister) has been cast in the CBS pilot The Game, which revolves around women in the lives of professional football players.

Jesse Bradford will play the lead in ABC's drama pilot Twenty Questions.

Justina Machado of Six Feet Under have been cast in NBC's comedy pilot Alpha Mom

Mo Collins has joined Patricia Heaton in her untitled comedy pilot for ABC

Ted Danson has signed up for the ABC comedy pilot Help Me Help You. Danson will play a brilliant psychologist whose own life starts to unravel, partly in front of his group-therapy patients.

Victor Garber (Alias) will topline American Crime, which focuses on celebrity lawyers and their big-time cases.

Hope Davis (American Splendor) has joined Jay Hernandez and Erika Christensen in ABC's drama pilot Six Degrees. The project revolves around six New Yorkers who are strangers, but whose lives somehow interconnect.

The Dlisted Report

Carl Burnett will play Bree Van De Kamp's cold stepmother for one episode on Desperate Housewives this April. Burnett will play the villianous Eleanor Mason. [USA Today]

Alias will return on April 19th to play out its final season. The final episodes will bring back past characters and reveal secrets. [ABC]

The Weinstein Co. has ordered a biopic of the hoax of writer J.T. Leroy based on New York Times articles by Warren St. John. St. John had initially interviewed Leroy 16 months ago without realizing the author's true identity. The scribe exposed Albert's hoax in his next two pieces on Leroy by following up on a Stephen Beachy New York magazine piece that raised questions about the author's identity. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

What Mayor Ray Nagin had in mind when he said "let this be a chocolate city again." - Your Mama

The Groomsmen from star Jones's wedding - Gatomalo

Paris Hilton's "To Do" list - NoAnjl



[pic: Rod 2.0]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dwana Pusser

[For Nell]

Birthday Sluts

Daniel Craig (38)
Robert Iler (21)
Bryce Dallas Howard (25)
Jon Bon Jovi (44)
Lou Reed (62)
Mikhail Gorbachev (75)

What is Wrong With These Coachella People?!

Don't tell me this bitch's vagina is going to play Coachella?! Seriously, they will take anybody now.

Madonna will play her first festival date, at this year's Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival on April 30th at Empire Polo Field in Indio, California. The pop star will take the stage with her band under the dance-heavy Sahara Tent.

"I've never performed at a festival," said Madonna. "And I'm especially excited about playing at Coachella before I start my own tour." She joins a massive bill that includes industrial act Tool, dark pop-rockers Depeche Mode, post-punk act Franz Ferdinand, rapper Common, and buzzed-about reggae newcomers Matisyahu and Damian Marley.

The pop icon is readying a summer tour in support of her latest album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which debuted at Number One in November. According to her rep Liz Rosenberg, the tour will emphasize new material -- with a few hits thrown in -- and feature dancers from David LaChapelle's krumping documentary, Rize.

She's gonna need some extra moisturizer on that vadge so it doesn't dry out in the desert sun.

[Rolling Stone]

Chestica Simpson Quote of the Day!

on screwing Johnny Knoxville:

"I can't save anything from being talked about,"

HoHan Slips!

Evening Crumbs

A Vanna White don't [Hollywood Tuna]

Nick Lachey's $500,000 Secret [Hollywood Rag]

The Simple Life gets Photoshopped [Just Jared]

Patrick Dempsey has a disability [IDLYITW]

Jessica Alba sues Playboy [Egotastic!]

Meg Ryan fugs up Oprah [Popsugar]

Courtney Cox returns to TV [Glitterati]

Vadge gets touched up [Cityrag]

Goodbye Los Angeles!

Damn, this bitch got his ass knocked out on Saturday! And just like this dude I'm out of this bitch and out of Los Angeles and flying back to New York today. So, posting will continue when I touch down in NYC tonight. Things will go back to normal tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my ass and we hope that Fernando Vargas put a steak on that shit! It does remind me of a certain annoying heiress' privates though.

xoxoxoMichael K

Nicole Richie Got FAT!!!

Actually, it's just her pulling a Katie Holmes and getting fake preggers for The Simple Life 4 which is currently filming. Seeing Richie pregnant is kind of creepy. She looks like an 11yo boy who got knocked up. It's like pedophilia science-fiction and it's not sexy.

Posh & the Purple Wig

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dana Delany

Birthday Sluts

Antonio Sabato Jr. (33)
Ja Rule (29)
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (32)
Javier Bardem (37)
Russell Wong (43)
Ron Howard (51)
Alan Thicke (59)

Hey Y'alls, It's Mardi Gras Time!

So I'm watching Britney Spears' interview on Access Hollywood right now and that dumb slut Maria Menonous. Maria just asked her how she's losing the baby weight?! Um, is Maria the only moron in the world that thinks she's losing any kind of weight. Britney told her that she does Yoga 3 times and a week and eats right. I guess eating 6 mochachinos a day makes for a well balanced diet. Britney also talked about how she's in New Orleans to give back to Hurricane Katrina victims.

Pop star Britney Spears spent part of Mardi Gras with a group of Metairie students whose lives were upended when Hurricane Katrina devastated the area six months ago.

Standing in the French Quarter surrounded by St. Catherine of Siena School dancers wearing "Gatorettes" uniforms, Spears talked Tuesday on ABC's Good Morning America of her recent "surprise" meeting with four older students from the suburban New Orleans school.

On a recent morning, the girls sat down to breakfast with City Councilman Jay Batt, thinking they were there to discuss the effects of Katrina. Then Spears walked in, greeted with squeals.

"It was awesome. I will never forget it," said 14-year-old Lindsay Hernandez, who lived with 21 relatives and friends after her home was destroyed.

Spears took the girls shopping and to dine at one of Cajun chef Emeril Lagasse's restaurants for some Southern comfort food, including fried chicken and red beans and rice. There, the conversation turned from shopping to Katrina.

"We had to go to a shelter," said Auntrell Prosper, 17, who still has Beyonce posters on her bedroom walls in her devastated home. She now lives with her family in a trailer.

Spears gave the girls fleur-de-lis pins on blue ribbons, and she surprised the school's dance troupe, the Gatorettes.

"It was an honor to be here with all of them," Spears said.

Hermione Granger Loves Corona!

Yeah, she's 15!

[Gawker]

Anna Nicole Looks Hot As Long As She Keeps Her Sunglasses On!

Anna Nicole Smith arrives at the Supreme Court in Washington to battle it out for her dead husband's $1 Billion fortune. Anna looked fucking hot as she went into court until...



She took off her sunglasses! She looks a lot like her dead husband in his current state!

Paula Abdul?! More Like Serena Williams!

San Francisco Giants player Barry Bonds tried do be a comedian and dressed up as Paula Abdul to judge a contest.

Bonds entertained and delighted a small gathering of fans and teammates Tuesday by dressing up as Abdul to judge the San Francisco Giants spin-off of the hit Fox show "American Idol,'' called Giants Idol.

Bonds, who wore a strapless dress and a blonde wig, surprised everyone watching the mock contest, where young players had to sing in front of the judges.

"I'll never tell my wife to hurry up any more,'' Bonds said. "Because it took me forever to get ready. I'll never do that again. I couldn't get my hair right. There were a lot things I went through during the 30 minutes I was getting ready.''

He doesn't even have the right wig to Paula! Come on now. And besides he's more like the spitting image of Serena Williams!

[SI.com]

Those Dogs are Scared!

Nicole Richie is seen here taking her pooches for a little walk in Los Angeles yesterday. You know those dogs are scared, because they think Nicole Richie is the grim reaper taking them to Hades!

Fraud is the New Exhaustion

Sophia Bush has filed an annulment against Chad Michael Murray claiming fraud just like Renee Zellweger did against Kenny Chesney.

In papers released by the Los Angeles Superior Court, the actress cited “fraud” as the grounds for annulling the union. There was no explanation of the alleged fraud.

A fraud claim can be "difficult to prove," Hollywood divorce attorney Sorrell Trope told PEOPLE. If a judge denies Bush's annulment request, she can seek a divorce from Murray.

Bush, 23, and Murray, 24, who still costar on the WB show where they first met in 2003, separated in September.

Fraud?! The only fraud that was going on in that marriage was that poor Sophia thought her vagina was the only one Chad was sticking it to. Fraud is totally the new exhaustion and expect many more Hollywood couples to follow this new trend.

[People]

Where's Omarosa When You Need Her?!

Poor Janice Dickinson...she made a terrible move by getting fired from America's Next Top Model and now she's trying to stretch her latest 15-minutes out by showing up to events looking like a used-up, Thai, tranny hooker and it isn't cute. Omarosa needs to be at that event to tell Janice that not only is she a bad mother, but she's looking like a clown!

Evening Crumbs

TomKat in Tahiti [Glitterati]

Tyson Beckford is really gay [Just Jared]

Kerry Katona slams Sienna Miller [Egotastic!]

HoHan and Wilmer back to fucking [IDLYITW]

Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder [Hollywood Rag]

Pete Doherty and handcuffs, again [Popsugar]

Usher gives the beat down [Concrete Loop]

I Didn't Steal Your Mullet

Ashlee Simpson busy at work bringing the mullet back to the masses!

Kimora Lee Simmons Opens Her Fat Mouth

Kimora Lee Simmons is one of the most disgusting humans on earth. Seriously, her face just looks like it was made to be punched in over and over again. Well, she's busy hawking some idiotic book called Fabulosity. Seriously that sounds like something a drag queen would name their memoirs. You know she's a total pre-op. Kimora also feels like she has to defend her marriage. Who even cares about her marriage to that turtle man?

In this month’s Vibe Vixen cover story, Simmons denies that her marriage is one of convenience. She says: "One thing my marriage is not is convenient. I am inconvenienced as sh**! Russell and I have been together 14 years. That's a long time - almost half my life."

Simmons says she and her man have had their share of drama, but the tiffs are not unlike those of any other married couple.

"The things we go through are very regular things that regular people in Middle America go through," she says. “But because of my lifestyle or the logistics of it all, it's probably magnified those things. But they are the same problems and the same situations."

The Baby Phat mogul also believes she’s been given a bad rap for freely flaunting her extravagant lifestyle. She says: "Look, Queen Elizabeth has more diamonds than me. Why don't people attack her for it? .While they were telling NBA players to take off their medallions for game days, why don't they tell the Pope not to wear his medallion to work?"

Someone wake me when she's dead.

[Black Entertainment]

Pete Burns for President

Yup, that crotch shot belongs to the ever infamous Pete Burns of Celebrity Big Brother UK and Dead or Alive fame. Pete and his fiance Michael showed up to some beauty pageant in London. The duo also weren't shy and totally tongued each other's tongues for the cameras. Pete is also planning to marry his fiance very soon.

The '80's showman, best known for the top-charting hit "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)," announced on February 9, 2006 his intention to wed Michael Simpson in a civil partnership ceremony.

As symbols of their devotion, the couple are wearing matching diamante engagement rings by British designer Vivienne Westwood, who fashioned the two pieces of jewelry in the form of skulls.

Pete Burns is insane and seriously becoming one of my favorite characters. This is the way you show up to an event and this is how you behave. Jordan and him should seriously think about going into business together.

[Lovetripper]

Is She Even Breathing?

Priscilla Presley emerged from her catacomb to promote her bed linens line in Australia. Yeah a bed linens line! Are times that tough that the widow of The King has to hawk sheets?! Not only that, but she looks positively stiff. Can she even move any of her face muscles?

One of the world's most-famous widows hosted a catwalk show of her expensive collection of bed linens, cushions, towels and bath robes -- and there wasn't a leopard print or any blue suede in sight.

The range is as impeccably put together as the woman herself, who, at 60, looks best when she breaks her carefully maintained porcelain veneer with a giggle, as opposed to her media-wary smile.

Conceding her taste for luxury between the sheets stems from her Elvis days, she said that was her first introduction to finery and once she'd slept in fine linens, she couldn't go back.

The collection is top-end, but according to Presley, provides the best means for a good night's sleep.

A catwalk show for bed linens? I guess something's gotta pay for her several hundred botox injections a week.

[Herald Sun]

Too Simple

Parasite Hilton and Nicole Richie reunited after months to begin filming The Simple Life 4 in Los Angeles yesterday. The two apparently did not speak or even look at each other. The two girls also brought their dogs along for the shoot.

Parasite has like 3 dogs?! When did she get so many and has Tinkerbell been put on retirement? Nicole Richie looks hot in a Carol Channing sort of way. Bitch looks like she could be my grandmother.

You know this show is going to stink more than Parasite's nasty twat.

Britney Wigs it Up in New Orleans

Britney Spears actually cleaned herself up for Mardi Gras in New Orleans yesterday. She actually looks pretty decent even though the wig on her head is a little cocked. Her mom and KFed also joined her. Any chance KFed gets to see some "Girls Gone Wild" he will.

Britney's rep also denied that she was knocked up: "It's not true. She's not pregnant."






[Ireland Online]

Crack Baby

Whitney Houston cannot be pregnant again. I didn't think even sperm could survive in her for more than 1 hour with all the crack she has in her system:

R&B bad boy Bobby Brown has hinted his wife Whitney Houston is pregnant with their second child in a new interview.

Speaking candidly to urban magazine Sister 2 Sister, the My Prerogative singer let's slip that his wife is "resting up" at home in Atlanta, Georgia.

And, following reports the couple has split, Brown is happy to report they're planning on becoming parents again.

He tells the publication: "I'm hoping that she's pregnant right now... She's just resting."

He's kidding right?

[Ireland Online] [Thanks to Stacy]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

One night in Paris... - Tim

[Thanks to Micah]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Peter Andre

Birthday Sluts

Ali Larter (30)
Karolina Kurkova (22)
John Turturro (49)
Gilbert Gottfried (51)
Mike Figgis (58)
Bernadette Peters (58)
Stephanie Beacham (59)
Tommy Tune (67)
Gavin MacLeod (76)

Afternoon Crumbs

According to MyHeritage I look like Sharon Tate. Try it out [MyHeritage]

Chestica Simpson films another stinker [Hollywood Rag]

Anna Nicole heads to high court [A Socialite's Life]

Hugh Jackman's wife is fug shit [Just Jared]

The Da Vinci Code author is in trouble [Gabsmash]

Evangeline Lilly thinks she's 8 [Egotastic!]

Jennifer Aniston is a good friend [IDLYITW]

Drew Lachey wins Dancing with the Stars [Glitterati]

Vivica Fox is a Man Now

Why do these women ruin their faces?! She was so gorgeous and now she looks like RuPaul!

Jordan Goes Gangster!

Jordan will finally grace the silver screen with her big bazooms in the British crime thriller British Gangsters' Wives. Is this like Footballers Wives meets Married to the Mob?

The 32FF model, 27, is already learning her lines for the £10million violent crime thriller British Gangsters’ Wives.

Mum-of-two Jordan, real name Katie Price, starts filming on location in London in July.

But she is a bag of nerves because her only acting experience to date was a cameo appearance on Footballers’ Wives in 2004.

A source said: “Katie did a casting for the film last year and bosses loved her.

“They thought she was the perfect character, with the right look to play the pampered wife of a big-time gangster.

“It’s a leading role so she has more than a few butterflies about learning her lines.”

I seriously can't wait for this movie to come out. You know it's going to make Mariah Carey's Wisegirls look like a cinematic masterpiece. Here's also some gorgeous pictures of Jordan trying to class it up in cheap gowns from OK! Magazine.

[The Sun] [Thanks Lo]

The Greatest TV Moment in History!

Honestly, if the Emmys had a category for "Greatest TV Moment of the Year" this would not only win, but it would be the only nominee. My recap of FOL won't be until Wednesday, but I could not wait to post the hottest catfight in the history of all catfights. Pumkin's spit hitting New York in the mouth is what this site is all about. Will somebody also please give New York the Oscar, because the dialogue that came out of her tranny-mouth was pure art.

"I will whoop that bitch's ass!"

"She called me an aspiring actress in front of Flav, which I am"

"Did you smell her breaf?! It smelled like straight up shit!"

Vh1 needs to set up a rematch between these two right away.

Posh Beckham Does Housework!

I'd like to know what she constitutes as housework? Because brushing your own teeth and cleaning your own butt is not really housework. In her messed up mind she probably thinks those kind of things are accomplishments if you do them yourself.

She said: "The truth is I see myself like one of the characters from the series 'Desperate Housewives' - the one who has the most kids.

"All day with the kids. Up and down, trying to cook and clean."

Ok, does cooking and cleaning have a different meaning in England? Does it mean shopping and pill-popping?

"The fact is I'm getting older. I'm 31, my children are my priority. I'm just not interested in fame anymore. I'm never going to sing again, unless it was a chance to do something with the Spice Girls. I don't really miss the shows we did together. I miss the girls more."

You heard her! She's never going to sing again! That's the wisest thing she's ever said.

[Female First] [Pic: JJB]

Vadge Ain't No Saint!

Oliver Stone is still kicking himself for passing up on the chance to direct the silver screen version of Evita. Oliver said it was always his life-long dream to film the story of Argentina's most controversail figure.

And he's also fighting mad that Alan Parker chose to cast Vadge in the title role.

He said: "The thing about Eva Peron was that she was a hooker and a saint.

"Madonna could do the hooker but not the saint."

I thought she was good! Oliver's just mad because he missed his chance to bone her ass.

[Contact Music] [Thanks Youri]

Seacrest In

Ryan Seacrest's signature phrase "Seacrest Out" is no longer part of the American Idol episodes. Ryan used to say it after every live broadcasting ot the show, but last week it went missing.

Probably, because we already know he's pretty much out. Harr harr.

[Thanks Stacy]

Celebrity Fit Club 4 Cast

According to several sources this is the cast for Vh1's Celebrity Fit Club 4.

And they are:

Sally Struthers (actress), Buffy Robinson (from Fat Boys), Jennifer Tilly (actress), Shar Jackson (ex-wife of Kevin Federline), Lisa Welchel (Blair from Facts of Life), Phil Margera (from Wild Boys), Corey Haim (actor), and Vince Neil (rockstar).

Where's Janet Jackson?

UPDATE - I guess Buffy Robinson will not be part of the cast. He died back in 1998. Maybe one of the other Fat Boys will be on the show. Thanks to Robert.

[Thanks Stacy]

Nicole Laughs Off Wedding Rumors!

Nicole Kidman sported a diamond ring on her engagement finger at some awards show yesterday. However, she is laughing off rumors that she is due to marry Keith Urban in her native Australia next month.

Stories surfaced last week that the celebrity couple had sent out invitations for an March 11 ceremony in Sydney.

However, Kidman's Australian publicist Wendy Day says: "Everything about that story is nonsense.

"Nicole Kidman is not getting married to Keith Urban at a Catholic church in Sydney on 11 March. I know of no wedding. I know of no wedding date. I know of no wedding plans."

According to Day, Kidman will be presenting an Academy Award on March 5 and has no immediate plans to return to Australia.

Day adds: "She is starting work on a new film in upstate New York in early April."

Kidman and Urban have been dating for the past year and made their first official public appearance at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles earlier this month.

Girl needs to work on getting better wigs before she even thinks about getting married!








[Ireland Online]

I Want Your Ludes!

George Michael and his busted face were arrested in London on Sunday after he was found sleeping in his car.

"We were called by a member of the public to a man seen slumped over the steering wheel of a car," said a statement from London police. "He was arrested on suspicion of possession of controlled substances."

According to the statement, Class C drugs were found. These include cannabis, tranquilizers and some painkillers. Under British law, anyone convicted of having Class C drugs can be jailed for up to two years and face an unlimited fine, according to the Home Office Web site.

Michael reportedly was bailed out and asked to return to a police station in late March, following a police investigation.

Why didn't he just offer to blow the cops? Oh, that's what got him in trouble last time.

[People]

The Dlisted Report

Wedding Crashers director David Dobkin will direct Vince Vaughn again in Fred Clause. The comedy revolves around Santa's black-sheep brother, who heads back to the North Pole and gets a chance to redeem himself. [Variety]

Roland Emmerich has cast Camilla Belle (When a Stranger Calls) in the period epic 10,000 B.C. Steven Strait will also star. Strait will play a youngster far down in the pecking order of a primitive tribe that survives by hunting migrating mammoth. He pines for a princess well above his station. When the tribe's hunters are enslaved and the princess kidnapped, the boy realizes his tribe is headed for extinction unless he takes action. Shooting begins this April in South Africa for a 2007 release. [Variety]

Mariah Carey will star in the indie-drama Tennessee. Carey plays a waitress who sets off with two brothers to find their estranged father. Their goal: Get dad involved in saving their younger brother, who has leukemia. Shooting begins this Spring in New Mexico and Tennessee. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

The Top 3:

Britney's desparate attempt to make her self chocolate like Shar so kevin will come home. - Anna

Up shit creek without a paddle? - anon 3:11pm

canoe-toe - Tim

[Thanks to JM]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Tiffany Brissette

Birthday Sluts

Elizabeth Taylor (74)
Josh Groban (25)
Chelsea Clinton (26)
Peter Andre (33)
Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas (35)
Grant Show (44)
Adam Baldwin (44)
Joanne Woodward (76)

A special "Happy Birthday" to my mom who turns like 23 or something today! That's the reason for my late posting. I'm in L.A. visiting her!

Paris Hilton Lands Mother Theresa Role!

I feel like this is just one big episode of Punk'd! But there were rumors a few weeks ago that Parasite Hilton was in the running to play Mother Theresa in a biopic by Indian director T. Rajeevnath and she has now won the role.

He said: "The preliminary script has been readied. And the proceeds of the film would go to the Missionaries of Charity. By June this year, the groundwork for the film would be complete and I propose to begin shooting in West Bengal and several foreign countries in early 2007."

Parasite said: "It's such an honour. I'm so excited. I really want to learn more about this amazing woman, so that's what I'm doing in a few months."

Is this a comedy? Honestly, what is going on in the world? You'd think it was bad when people had a problem with Vadge playing Evita, I can only imagine the kind of shit Parasite would receive. Bitch is gonna get shot!

[Digital Spy]

Becks Quote of the Day!

on his 6-year old son's homework:

"Their homework is so hard these days,"

"It's totally done differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know I was like 'Oh my God, I can't do this'."

Not Quite Blind Item

Which unmarried Oscar nominee/heartthrob had an affair with a male wardrobe assistant on a recent project?

Jay McCaroll is Annoying

Friends of Heidi Klum are fighting back for the Project Runway host after winner Jay McCaroll called her a "twat" because she didn't wear a dress he had made for her.

Her friends said: "Jay's dress looked like a Halloween costume from Rite Aid."

Yeah, I'd have to side with Heidi in this situation. However, both of them are just as annoying. Can you imagine hearing a fight between these two? And those voices?! It'd be like two alley cats in heat.




[Page Six]

Which One is More of a Woman?

Weekend Crumbs

Jake and Austin continue to screw [Popsugar]

Because we can't get enough of Angelina in Paris [Just Jared]

Britney Spears on Will & Grace [Gabsmash]

Xtina previews her new album on TRL [Hollywood Rag]

Michelle Trachtenberg should not be smoking [Egotastic!]

I wanna kick Star Jones' ass so bad [Crunk and Disorderly]

Eva LongWHORIA will work for chocolate and by chocolate she means scat [Glitterati]

The NAACP Awards picture bonanza [Conrete Loop]

Hot Slut of the Week: Henry Rollins

Age: 45
Birthday: February 13, 1961
Birth Name: Henry Garfield

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: February 23, 2006
Claim to Fame: Lead singer of Black Flag and The Rollins Band.

Where is he now? Has a weekly radio show in Los Angeles and records albums and spoken-word albums.

Why is he Hot Slut of the Week? Because you're not sure if he'll beat the shit out of you or hold you like a teddy bear.

The Hottest Catfight in Television History!

Make sure you tune in to tonight's very special episode of Flavor of Love! What is hoping to be the hottest bitch fight ever will take place between New York and Pumkin! I'm hoping some weaves and Lee press-ons will be shed!

On other FOL news, I was supposed to attend yesterday's taping of the FOL Reunion, but L.A. traffic got the best of me. I showed up 10 minutes late and they wouldn't let my ass in! GD you L.A. traffic! Anyway, it's probably for the best because I would've been arrested for trying to sexually assault Hottie!

And my usual FOL recap will not be until Wednesday, because I'm in L.A. until Tuesday.

But make sure you catch that shit tonight on Vh1!

I'm So Into the New Bond!

There's a website out there completely devoted to hating on the newest James Bond, Daniel Craig. I wasn't convinced he was right for the role until I saw these pictures of him in some boyshorts filming in the Bahamas. Sold!

He Takes the Hip Out of Hip-Hop

KFed and his loser friends get high in the hills of Malibu as his soon-to-be ex-wife gets her shit together in Hawaii. Poor thing. He has no idea that people are laughing at his ass! Seriously, corn rows do not make you "street." He should just do us all a favor and jump off that damn hill!

Vintage Posh Beckham

[Thanks Ann]

Did Val Kilmer Get Hit By the Ugly Stick?!

That bitch if fugly and he used to be hot shit. Is it the pulled apart mouth or the veneers that have turned him into a plastic mess! Seriously, he looks like a damn bunny rabbit. Thank God that mic isn't a carrot or he'd chomp the shit out of it.

[Thanks Raja]

R.I.P. Don Knotts

Don Knotts, who won TV immortality and five Emmys for playing the bumbling Deputy Barney Fife on “The Andy Griffith Show” with self-deprecating humor, was remembered by his friend and co-star as a comedic genius who wrote some of the show’s best scenes.

Knotts, 81, died Friday of pulmonary and respiratory complications at the University of California, Los Angeles Medical Center, said Sherwin Bash, his friend and manager.

This really makes me sad! We'll miss Don!!!

[Boston Herald]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Louise Mandrell

[For DJ Tennessee]

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