Dlisted: 02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Someone Get This Man a Nose Trimmer!


[click on image to enlarge]

The Carter Brothers Totally Hook-Up!

Maybe they hooked up when they were kids, because they are so creepy. Look at them. Nick Carter is still fat and disgusting and Aaron Carter is a major Meth-head. Parasite Hilton seriously confirmed her whore-status by jumping into bed with that skeeze.





Sheryl Crow Has Cancer



Looks like someone is having a shitty month. I think Sheryl needs some hugs and a teddy-gram. I'll get right on that. Not only did her engagement and relationship with Lance Armstrong fall to pieces, but Sheryl has learned she has cancer.

Sheryl Crow underwent surgery for breast cancer on Wednesday, she confirmed via her web site. According to the site, Crow's doctors call her prognosis "excellent"; she will receive radiation therapy treatment as a precaution.

In a statement released to PEOPLE today, Crow's former fiance, Lance Armstrong, said, "I was devastated to hear this news. Once again I'm reminded of just how pervasive this illness is as it has now touched someone I love deeply."

The cycling champion continued, "Based on my contact in recent days with Sheryl, her doctor, and her family, I am confident that she will have a full and complete recovery and the world will be a better place for it. And to all of her fans and friends out there, please keep Sheryl in your thoughts and prayers yet know that I have never known a stronger woman in my life."


Wait, did she get Cancer from Lance?! Just kidding! I know it's notcontagiouss, damn! Wait, is it?!

[People] [Thanks Stacy]

KFed Speaks!



There are many reasons why I love the mess known as KFed, but this is just one of them. He updated his MySpace with this:

whats up everone. check out this little shit i did wit game.. come download the fuck outta this.
kevin federline. thats whats up


Who honestly talks like that
?! Check out his new jam with The Game. It's awful.

[Thanks to JenB and Chanis]

On the Real...



Shaun White is the NEW Carrot Top! I mean for a dude this fugly he gets a lot of hot chicks. I mean even HoHan is on his jock, but that ain't saying much because she'll tap any ass with a pulse! I hear he's richer than God though. That explains why all the babes wanna jump on that! The Gold Medal doesn't hurt either.

[Thanks Brian]

Vintage Sly & Travolta



How gay is this?!

[Thanks to DJ Tennessee]

Attack of the Clones!



[Thanks to Xenadiva]

Hot Slut of the Day!



Kathy Najimy

Birthday Sluts



Anson Mount (33)
Carrot Top (39)
Sean Astin (35)
Tea Leoni (40)
Nancy O'Dell (43)
Sally Jesse Raphael (71)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Jesse Metcalfe Gets Gay in Australia



I guess in Australia you can be free with your gay lover and shit. Poor Jesse. I'll help you come out.



Afternoon Crumbs

Carmen Electra sluts up the Opera [Bricks and Stones]

Natalie Portman is back with that hot piece of meat Gael Garcia Bernal [A Socialite's Life]

Britney Spears on Will & Grace [Just Jared]

Jenny McCarthy is horny for an orgy [IDLYITW]

Spiderman 3's new look [Hollywood Rag]

Mischa Barton as Supergirl? [Egotastic!]

Jacko's kids [Concrete Loop]

Mate a movie [Cityrag]

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!





KFed Got Busted!



Britney Spears caught husband KFed lounging at his baby mama's house only his underwear. It all started before Brit left for Hawaii and was trying to get a hold of her man on his celly. He didn't answer so she got all crazy and shit and drove her white-trash ass to Shar Jackson's house to investigate.

When she got there she found KFed all lying around in his undies. She of course flipped out and a Jerry Springer scene took place! KFed and Shar tried to tell Britney that the baby vommed all over him so he had to change his clothes.

Sure...

Could this be the reason why their marriage is no more?! He's useless!






[National Ledger]

A Man Goes Into a Convenience Store...



A man goes into a convenience store in McKeesport, PA and immediately goes into the men's room. He comes out a few minutes later holding a paper towel with something in it and asks the clerk if he can use the microwave to heat it up. She agrees. After a few minutes she notices some suspicious odors coming from the microwave and she decides to investigate. What does she find? She finds a severed penis wrapped in a paper towel.

The man quickly grabbed the penis and ran out.

Yup, that's what happened. Police were called to the convenience store and were pretty much puzzled. But it looks like the bizarre mystery was solved.

Ya, see the man had a female friend that was due to give a urine sample for drug testing at work. And obviously she's a crackhead, so she couldn't use her own urine. She asked her friend to piss into a "fake" penis and then microwave it so it the piss could be hot for her test.

I have two questions. Why did he have to piss into a fake penis?! I mean, she's a chick so wouldn't have to piss into a fake vagina? And my second question is was the lady Courtney Love?

[KDKA] [Thanks to Kelly]

Sometimes You Just Gotta Shut Up!

I harp so much on most celebs and especially Kiki Dunst and sometimes there's no need for words. Just looking at her makes me laugh and makes me happy. I don't have to say anything. She does it all herself!







HoHan is Banging This!


HoHan is on fire! Well, her crotch probably is anyway. Just this past week she was seen getting all romantical with Johnathan Rhys Meyers and just a few days before she hittin' another dude!

She was NYC's Bungalow 8 when spies saw her getting all into Snowboarding Gold Medalist Shaun White.

He said: "Her and I ended up meeting up at the famous Bungalow 8. It was a good time. It was a trip."

"Coming home from Italy, everybody's been running up to me, saying how proud they are. It's been crazy and so I had to get some time to have fun."


He looks like he's 12. She has no shame. I think I'm starting to like her.

[The Post Chronicle]

The Olsens Hate Parasite



Slowly but surely hopefully all these Hollywood starlets will turn their backs on that piece of shit Parasite Hilton. First it was Richie, then Barton and now the power-couple of them all: MK and Ash.

MK said that she likes to separate herself from the likes of those Hollywood hos:

"I would actually not consider myself as being part of the crowd, although I am surrounded by it at times."

"It's very much like high school. Whether it's the popular crew or not, it's just that there's some gossip here or somebody's telling a lie over there."

"Ashley and I, we don't get involved in it, I think we just like to listen to it.”

How would she know? Did even go to High School?! Didn't she just buy her diploma or something?

[Entertainmentwise]


TMI



Fabrizio Moretti cut short his appearance at the NME Awards in London and he didn't have to tell us why. He could've easily said he to take a dump or something. But, no.....

He said: "I'm rushing back to Drew 'cos I haven't had sex in a month."

He probably likes the way her titties jiggle when he hits her from behind. Damn, them shits are weapons of mass destruction!



[Contact Music]

From Drag Queen to Garbage Man



Remember Lee Tamahori? He's the director of Die Another Day that was arrested for soliciting a police officer for sex in DRAG?! Well, the bitch cut a deal and has received only 3 years probation and ordered to enroll in an AIDS-education class and pick up trash

Tamahori was wearing an off-the-shoulder dress, a long black wig and full makeup when he allegedly propositioned the vice cop last month in exchange for cash.

So instead of working the streets, he's gonna be cleaning them?

[Page Six]

Kate Moss has Nasty Knees



Kate Moss is pretty in the face but fugly in the knees. Probably because she's always on them. I know that was pretty unoriginal. Ugh, it's still before noon. She's enjoying the Burberry show in Milan during fashion week and forgot to pay attention to her legs. Seriously, maybe she's injecting into her knees instead.

Literary Hoaxes is the New Black



Forget James Frey and even Cupcake Brown, this is the probably the biggest literary hoax of all time. A few years ago a book called Sarah by a novelist named JT Leroy came out. The book chronicled JT's troubled youth as a truck-stop hooker. When his book debuted it became a hipster's dream! I mean JT even showed up to events and shit looking like a dude, a girly dude but a dude. So, it was a little surprising when it came to light that he was indeed a fraud. And the real writer was a woman by the named of Laura Albert who asked another woman Savannah Knoop to become JT Leroy at events and shit.

The two woman also looked to the Hollywood elite to help them pull off the hoax. Winona Ryder, Courtney Love, Tatum O'Neal and Rosario Dawson all claimed they were genuine friends of his. Winona even went so far to say this:

"I had two tickets to the opera, and I was, like, 'I don't want to go alone. And then I saw this kid standing near the doors to the opera house, and he was trying to listen in. He was a total ragamuffin. So I said, 'Hey, I have this extra ticket. Do you want to go see the opera?' He was too young to be creepy. He said, 'Oh, my God! I really wanted to see this!' I think it was 'La Boheme.'

"And he was crying throughout it. And I started crying for my own reasons, watching this beautiful kid so affected, someone his age grasping it. We went to this diner afterward and talked. I wanted to take care of him, have him move in, but he said he was heading back south. I fell in love with him. And I've been in love with him ever since."

Who would believe her?! You know she can't act worth shit and she was probably reading it off a cue card. Like ho would ever even go to the Opera...and if she did like she'd give someone homeless dude a ticket!

[Page Six]

Priceless!!



We ALL know Britney Spears is looking nasty lately so I'm not going to point it out. Ok, I just did. Anyway, she's still in Hawaii playing the polar bear in a few episodes of Lost. Again, KFed is nowhere to be seen. He's probably screwing some Valley chick in a port-a-potty as we speak!




Damon Wayans: You are a Moron



Damon Wayans is currently in a fight to trademark the "N" word for a clothing line which he is hoping to put out.

The actor Damon Wayans has been engaged in a 14-month fight to trademark the term "Nigga" for a clothing line and retail store, a search of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office's online database reveals.

Wayans wants to dress customers in 14 kinds of attire from tops to bottoms, and use the controversial mark on "clothing, books, music and general merchandise," as well as movies, TV and the internet, according to his applications.

But, so far, his applications have been unsuccessful. Trademark examiner Kelly Boulton rejected the registration dated Dec. 22, citing a law that prohibits marks that are "immoral or scandalous." A previous attempt by Wayans was turned down on identical grounds six months earlier.

"While debate exists about in-group uses of the term, 'nigga' is almost universally understood to be derogatory," Boulton wrote to Wayans' attorney, William H. Cox, according to the application.

Cox and other representatives of the actor did not respond to interview requests about the registration.

Wayans can appeal the rejection, but experts in trademark law differ on his chances for success.


Michael K has no comment

[Wired] [Thanks to Danni]

The Dlisted Report

James Van Der Beek joins Jane Krakowski in the CBS comedy pilot Sex, Power, Love & Politics. Sex, Power, Love & Politics, from Sony Pictures TV, revolves around staffers in their mid-30s who work on Capitol Hill. On the show, Van Der Beek joins the previously cast Jane Krakowski and Jay Harrington. Steven Culp who played Rex Van De Kamp on Desperate Housewives is also in the cast. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Rachel Griffiths of Six Feet Under will return to TV in the ABC drama Brothers & Sisters about a group of siblings who run a business after their father dies. Calista Flockhart and Balthazar Getty also star. [Variety]

Gina Gershon is set to star in the pilot Lipstick Jungle for NBC based on the Candace Bushnell novel about 3 high-powered NYC woman. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!



The Top 3:

Biblical scholars finally have proof that Jesus was a carpenter. - Migs

Power jigsaw...$19.99
Air generator...$279.50
Wrestling codpiece...$17.59

Showing off your big tool...priceless!!

For everything else, there's Master Carpenter - Fmouie

Once again, Vincent Gallo tries to sell his sperm and offers to throw in some handy work around the house. - Crees_dahl

Hot Slut of the Day!



Kim Novak

Birthday Sluts



Billy Zane (40)
Todd Field (42)
Edward James Olmos (59)
Barry Bostwick (60)
Leslie Caron (73)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Trouble in Paradise!



Britney Spears is currently in Hawaii recording some piece of shit album. Not only is she probably pregnant, but her marriage is pretty much over. Thank God! Here she's seen without her wedding ring. Maybe her fingers got too fat for it or maybe she just dropped it (see picture 3).





No, I think she found an old twinkie or something!

Wanna Know Who Won Gold?!



Click here if you want to be spoiled!



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