Dlisted: 02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Would You Hit It?

It's Halle Berry's new man model, Gabriel Aubry! Hellz yeah I'd hit that! I hope he's dumb, because the dumb and hot type is just my ticket!



Britney Has No Idea What She's Talking About!!





Britney Spears thinks that the paparazzi are going to kill her ass! She has become extremely frightened of the paparazzi especially since now she has SPF to care for.

She said: "I don't really go out with him and it's kind of sad because I can't walk down the street with the stroller. Princess Diana got killed by one of these people. I'm not expecting people to pity me. I'm just telling the truth."

Just put a grilled cheese in your mouth and shut it!



And these pics are from that dumb bitch going to Toys "R" Us with her assistant and bodyguard.

[Post Chronicle]

Kristin Cavallari Gets Unplugged



Kristin Cavallari hoped that her UPN show Get This Party Started would launch her two new heights. However, that's not the case. After only 2 episodes the piece of shit show has been escorted to the glue factory.

The Kristin Cavallari-hosted UPN series Get This Party Started has been pulled from the schedule after just two episodes. The Futon Critic notes that UPN “quietly pulled” the series after its Tuesday episode “drew an embarrassingly low 0.4 rating among adults 18-49.” Last week’s debut episode had similarly sucky ratings. The episode’s ratings were “down 63 percent from UPN’s season performance in the Tuesday at 9 p.m. time slot.”


Looks like bitch will come crawling back to Laguna!

[Reality Blurred]

When Fuglies Collide

Paula's Gonna End Up With Another Fag!



Dr. Phil is putting together several bachelors for Paula Abdul in an upcoming show. How desperate is she?! According to sources, Dr. Phil's gaydar doesn't seem to be working very well. One of the bachelors he's chosen is a very popular West Hollywood fag!

The source said: "One of the guys he picked is well known to many of us - but not as a woman-lover. He has dated my friend as well as having hit on half the good-looking younger guys I know in L.A. They have been promoting this show over and over again - to howling laughter from the gays in West Hollywood."

Poor Paula! Remember when she married that fruit-cake Brad Beckerman!?

[Page Six]

Zellweger Sucks Dick for Cocaine!



Ok no she doesn't! But she totally looks like it. Here's Renee Zellweger going to some Vogue Magazine event wearing a GD trash bag! Let's hope she was hired to clean up the event and not attend it, because bitch looks wacked!

Katie, Don't Try to Fake!



Will somebody please pull that fucking pillow out?

Vadge is an Air Head!



Vadge has become obsessed with these oxygen machines and uses them to give her energy. She originally bought the machines to give herself oxygen facials, but has since learned that oxygen gives you much more energy. She has bought several machines for her different homes all over the world.

Bitch needs to put more of that oxygen in her vagina, because that shit is looking tired.

[Page six]

Nick Lachey Wants to Get Paid!



Nick Lachey filed legal papers in Los Angeles court on Friday requested spousal support from Chestica Simpson.

According to his divorce response, Lachey cited irreconcilable differences for the dissolution of the marriage. In addition to financial provisions, he is requesting miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects, his earnings from and after the date of separation as well as additional property assets to be determined.

In his filing, Lachey reports the couple's separation date as Dec. 13 while Simpson cited it was Nov. 23 in her divorce papers. The discrepancy in the dates is particularly relevant because of the nearly $1 million Simpson earned during those weeks that she'd have to split with her former husband under California law.


Bitch deserves whatever he wants! Anybody that puts up with that tuna-lips for that long deserves more money than God! Besides, you know he's never going to work again so he needs the dough!

[People]

Hot Slut of the Day!



Lady Miss Kier from Dee-Lite

[For Tiff]

Birthday Sluts



Vanna White (49)
Rhianna (18)
Molly Ringwald (38)
Dr. Dre (41)
Matt Dillon (42)
John Travolta (52)
Juice Newton (54)
Cybill Shepard (56)
Yoko Ono (73)
Milos Forman (74)
Toi Morrison (75)

Friday, February 17, 2006

Matthew McConaGay Loves It Up the Ass!



This is just the story I need to get my Friday night going. A reader sent me this:

I have a good Matthew Gay Coneghy Story for you. My friend Jessica and her best friend Lindsay were out partying in Hollywood one night and low and behold MM starts chatting them up. Now, I can only tell YOU some parts of this story cuz I dont want to be mean to my own friends but NEITHER girl is very feminine, they are kind of bigger and Lindsay is a little mannish. So anyways long story short MM keeps wanting to get Lindsay back to the Beverly Hills Hotel and so she goes and they are making out and he keeps begging her to put her thumb ( specifically ) up his BUTT!!!! hahaha !!!! She wasnt into it so she just got as much weed out of him as she could and took off. But pretty much that proves he is gay. Its good enough for me.


Oh the dreams I'll have tonight! Though, I can imagine the plums that man has up there!

Halle...Not So Fresh



Halle Berry needed some fucking anti-perspirant while accepting her award as Harvard's Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year. Bitch get all crazy onstage too! I guess having some young meat in her bed has made her both wet and nuts!









[Photos: Concrete Loop]

Michael K Talks to Hottie from Flavor of Love



Everyone knows how I'm obsessed with Flavor of Love and over the past few weeks I've become obsessed with one character of the show: Hottie. She is seriously the star of that show and Vh1 should be talking to her for a spin-off. So, I found her official websiteabout three weeks ago and toyed with idea of e-mailing her. I finally did and asked her if she would grant me an interview. And she fucking did! Hottie called my ass this morning and I must say she sounds just like she does on TV! She is a trip and I'm putting that lightly. She honestly needs to be on my TV screen every single day. So here's the interview:



Hello?

Hello Michael?

Hi!

It's Hottie!

OMG, Hi Hottie! How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good! So what's up?

Well, did you watch this past week's show?

Of course! let’s talk about the lie detector test. What was up with that?

Well, can I make a confession? The truth is I’m not a 38DD, I’m a 44DD. But I only lied because I didn’t want the other girls in the house to be intimidated by me. So that’s why the lie detector test said I was lying.

Honestly, that wasn’t right.

I know. And lie detector tests aren’t 100%.

No, they aren’t. Now what about Brigitte? Was she cool?

Yes she was very cool. I think Brigitte and I are very similar. We are both strong women who love the company of wealthy and successful men.

What about the other girls in the house? It seemed like they all hated you.

I love all women in general. I’m not going to call out names, but most of the girls were cool with me. It was a competition. I wasn’t there to make friends. To me that was my man, my money and my mansion! So, just like I had to fight in the movie High Roller and in my cameo role on America’s Most Wanted, I had to fight there. I’m a lover not a fighter.

How did you get on the show in the first place?

My agent contacted me and told me there was a reality show about a hip-hop celebrity looking for love. And I believe everyone should have the chance to find love. The thing is I didn’t need to find a man either. I have men following me all the time. Once I was going down in an escalator and a man was coming up and he tried to crawl over the middle part to get to me. I was afraid for him!

Oh yes. Now on the first day of shooting did you know it was Flava Flav?

Yes, I found out and I had been a fan of his. I love his gold teeth and you know that gold accrues in value over the year. Ladies should think about that.

Hottie, your style was one of the stars of that show. Seriously, you looked hot and obviously the other girls were jealous of it. Tell me about your style?

Well, I have my own sense of personal style. I wear what I want. If I want to wear lace, I’ll wear it, if I want to wear feathers, I’ll wear it. I wore a lot of lingerie on the show, because the show is called Flavor of Love not Flavor of the Boardroom.

Tell me about your upcoming projects? Have you gotten a lot offers?

I can be seen very soon in the feature film Waist Deep starring Tyrese where I play a bank teller. I have also just signed a record deal so be sure to listen to my single in the clubs!

Any dates?

I get e-mails all the time from men offering me all sorts of things. So I’m of course entertaining those offers.

Where can my readers find more information about you?

For the time being they can go to http://www.schatar.com. It’s mainly a career website, but there’s photos and information there about me. I am in the process of setting up a MySpace so look for that!

Well, Hottie thanks for taking the time to talk to me today. My readers love you and I do too!

Thank you Michael!

I can tell you that when I got off the phone with her I was seriously shaking. You would think I was talking to Jesus himself. This has seriously made my year. Hottie, if your'e reading this thank you! You are hot shit!

Catching Up With an Old Friend!

Tonight is your chance to relive the beautiful magic of our dear, old friend Marguerite Perrin! Remember how a few months ago she was like the fucking air we breathed. How quickly we forget! But let's make tonight count and light a candle as we watch Fox's 2-hour rerun of Marge's 15-minutes!

A Little Tight!



Has Michelle Pfeiffer had any work done? I mean don't get me wrong, she looks hot. But has she ever gotten a little nip or a little botox? I'm not gonna rag, because I'm a fan of her ass. Anyway, I can't figure it out.



Only in Hong Kong!



Bai Ling has been going to events lately completely covered up. Here she is at the launch of some stank perfume called L'eau due parfum which translates into Stank Mess. Honestly, Bai gets these outfits in Hong Kong. Why? Because I used to know this Chinese girl in High School that wore outfits just like this. Seriously, she would show up in a purple cord overall set with a matching jacket. I mean not even homeless people would wear this shit. Whenever, I asked her where she got this shit she would say "Hong Kong." And I didn't have to ask any questions after that. It made so much sense.



Claire Danes Has Made Billy Crudup Fugly



Honestly, what happened to him?!

Vadge News!



For all you Vadge lovers, I have some tour news! The Divine Miss V will kick off her untitled tour on May 21st in Los Angeles. She will also play Russia for the first time ever. Let's hope everything goes to plan and old V doesn't break a hip or something.

[Thanks to Youri for info]

Afternoon Crumbs

Kate Moss can't remember shit! [TBLE]

Britney Spears speaks her mind [A Socialite's Life]

TomKat in Australia [Just Jared]

Penny and Salma get hot [Hollywood Rag]

Jenny McCarthy denies screwing Jenna Jameson [WWTDD]

Poor Cest La Vie! [Glitterati]

Ashlee Simpson is straight-up ugly! [Egotastic!]

Prince hates Parasite [Smart]

I Am Totally Going to This!



Are you the ULTIMATE "Flavor of Love" fan?
Do you know everything there is to know about Flav and the girls? Why not put your knowledge to good use by attending the taping of the very first "Flavor of Love" Reunion. You'll get an opportunity to ask questions of your favorite cast members, hear them revisit good times and bad, and even to be among the first to find out how things went for the girls after their "time was up". The taping will be held in Los Angeles on Saturday, February 25th. The taping is FREE but by invitation ONLY. So to secure your spot at what is gonna be one of the hottest reunions in VH1 History, write us at: flav_reunion@yahoo.com In your email, please include the following information:
  • Your First Name
  • Your Age & Sex
  • Your city of residence
  • Your top 5 questions for Flav and the ladies
  • Your contact numbers and email address.
You will be contacted by a producer if he requires more information OR if you are selected for the audience. IMPORTANT NOTE: All audience members will be REQUIRED to sign a confidentiality agreement prior to being admitted to the audience

SPF Can't Poop Right!!



Britney Spears recently rushed her baby SPF to the ER, because he would not stop crying and was turning red. She was embarrassed to find out that SPF was only constipated.

One of the nurses said: "It seems he was just straining to fill his diaper. We gave him a quick change and clean up and he was fine."

What a dumb bitch.

[Spotlighting News]

JLove at The Annual Tourette Syndrome Awards

The joke wrote itself!



Damn, That's Cold!



I guess there's plenty of love lost between Heath Ledger and his bottom Jake Gyllenhaal. When asked about who should win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar, Heath was probably expected to say Jake. But it didn't go that way. Heath said that George Clooney should win the award for his performance in Syriana.

God, the fags move on so quickly! I bet that grouch Michelle Williams made him say that. She's a jealous cunt!

[Contact Music] [Thanks to Albz & Maria]

What Did Nicollette Do to Her Effin Lips?!



Parasite is One Lonely Ho!



First of all, Happy Birthday Parasite Hilton. I'm sure you're celebrating by trying to break the World's Gang Bang record. Anyhow, Parasite made a fool of herself at the Brit Awards after-parties in London a few days ago. Parasite who says she hasn't split from Nachos, indeed has. She showed up to one party alone and single and immediately focused her eyes on soccer player Frank Lampard. Parasite tried desperately to hook up with him, but Frank who is engaged wanted nothing to do with her ass and gave her the slip!

Then unfortunately for Frank the two met up at a different party. Frank happily talked to her and even gave her his phone number to be friends and shit. It was all platonic and he left the party.

Parasite then became crazed and started visiting party after party to find his ass! And at one of the last party of the evening's that dumb bitch even climbed onto a table to see if she could find him. And when she did she made her way over to him and confirmed his telephone number.

I bet you he gave her ass the wrong number!!!!

[The Sun] [Thx to Albz]

TomKat Go to a Funeral!



TomKat go to the funeral of their unborn Alien fetus good friend Australian mogul Kerry Packer. The memorial service was held at the Sydney Opera house. This photos completely freak me out. Seeing these two nut jobs in all black during a somber occasion all laughing and shit freaks me out. This is The Shining just waiting to happen.







See Jordan's American TV Debut!

by Lahoma00



For all of you that don't already watch, Footballers Wives, the fucking hottest show ever created, premieres it's 3rd season on BBC America on Sunday. This season features a appearance by Jordan! She's a guest at Shannon and Harley's wedding and in a scene she talks to Shannon about how hot her (Jordan's) tits are, then squeezes them. It's method acting!



Seriously, all you sluts need to watch this show. Their storylines involve breasts catching on fire, nurses raping male coma patients, hermaphrodite babies, bisexual men using sex toys, plastic surgery and lots of cocaine use. In one episode two characters almost get eaten by a lion. Also, everyone smokes which is hot since no one on TV does that anymore.



Contact
michaelk@dlisted.com
moderator@dlisted.com
Michael K on MySpace



The Forum

Shop


Archives

01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005

01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005

02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005

02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005

02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005

02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005

03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005

03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005

03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005

03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005

04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005

04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005

04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005

04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005

05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005

05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005

05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005

05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005

05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005

06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005

06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005

06/19/2005 - 06/26/2005

06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005

07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005

07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005

07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005

07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005

07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005

08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005

08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005

08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005

08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005

09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005

09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005

09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005

09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005

10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005

10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005

10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005

10/23/2005 - 10/30/2005

10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005

11/06/2005 - 11/13/2005

11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005

11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005

11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005

12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005

12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005

12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005

12/25/2005 - 01/01/2006

01/01/2006 - 01/08/2006

01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006

01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006

01/22/2006 - 01/29/2006

01/29/2006 - 02/05/2006

02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006

02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006

02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006

02/26/2006 - 03/05/2006

03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006

03/12/2006 - 03/19/2006

03/19/2006 - 03/26/2006

03/26/2006 - 04/02/2006

04/02/2006 - 04/09/2006

04/09/2006 - 04/16/2006

04/16/2006 - 04/23/2006

04/23/2006 - 04/30/2006

04/30/2006 - 05/07/2006

05/07/2006 - 05/14/2006

05/14/2006 - 05/21/2006

05/21/2006 - 05/28/2006

05/28/2006 - 06/04/2006

06/04/2006 - 06/11/2006

06/11/2006 - 06/18/2006

06/18/2006 - 06/25/2006

06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006

07/02/2006 - 07/09/2006

07/09/2006 - 07/16/2006

07/16/2006 - 07/23/2006

07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006

07/30/2006 - 08/06/2006

08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006

08/13/2006 - 08/20/2006

08/20/2006 - 08/27/2006

08/27/2006 - 09/03/2006

09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006

09/10/2006 - 09/17/2006

09/17/2006 - 09/24/2006

09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006

10/01/2006 - 10/08/2006

10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006

10/15/2006 - 10/22/2006

10/22/2006 - 10/29/2006


Links
Best Week Ever
Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux
Concrete Loop
Crunk and Disorderly
FourFour
Golden Fiddle
Hollywood Rag
Popsugar
SwimAtYourOwnRisk
Answer This
Barbie Martini
Blogebrity
The Bosh
Brit Boy LA
Cake and Ice Cream
cat.lebrity
Celebrity Nation
Celebrity Smack
The Deli
Drunken Stepfather
Egotastic!
Fatback and Collards
Gabsmash
Gallery of the Absurd
The Gossipist
Hollywood Tuna
IDontLikeYouInThatWay
I'm Not Obsessed
In Case You Didn't Know
Jossip
Just Jared
Lainey Gossip
Manhattan Offender
Miss TLC
News8
Pink is the New Blog
Nightcharm
Nosy Snoop
OH NO!
The People We Love to Hate
Popblogging
Popbytes
Popped Culture
The Post Chronicle
Rhymes With Snitch
The Skinny Website
Smart
A Socialite's Life
Splash News
Tabloid Whore
Thighs Wide Shut
TMZ
Truth, Beauty, Love and Elisa
Yeeeah!
Young Black and Fabulous
City Rag
Communicatrix
Conversations About Fashion
GetFlix
Happy Hour Liz
If Jack Could Talk
It's Not Chick Porn!
Kill the Buddha
My Looking Glass
Purple Twinkie
Rachel Marsden
Yeah, I live in Worcester
Completely Naked
Dan Renzi
Made in Brazil
Ohlala Paris
Naked Boy Chronicles
Parisian Boys
Scott-O-Rama
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Totally Joshness
Towleroad
Assistant Atlas
The Bling Blog
Church of Annette
Confessions of a Casting Director
Don and Murph
Give Me My Remote
Movie Picture Film
My Dingaling
OMG BLOG
Random Acts of Television
Reality Rant
Secrets on Madison Avenue
Viva La Graham
The Vitriol