Would You Hit It?

It's Halle Berry's new man model, Gabriel Aubry! Hellz yeah I'd hit that! I hope he's dumb, because the dumb and hot type is just my ticket!

Britney Has No Idea What She's Talking About!!

Britney Spears thinks that the paparazzi are going to kill her ass! She has become extremely frightened of the paparazzi especially since now she has SPF to care for.

She said: "I don't really go out with him and it's kind of sad because I can't walk down the street with the stroller. Princess Diana got killed by one of these people. I'm not expecting people to pity me. I'm just telling the truth."

Just put a grilled cheese in your mouth and shut it!



And these pics are from that dumb bitch going to Toys "R" Us with her assistant and bodyguard.

[Post Chronicle]

Kristin Cavallari Gets Unplugged

Kristin Cavallari hoped that her UPN show Get This Party Started would launch her two new heights. However, that's not the case. After only 2 episodes the piece of shit show has been escorted to the glue factory.

The Kristin Cavallari-hosted UPN series Get This Party Started has been pulled from the schedule after just two episodes. The Futon Critic notes that UPN “quietly pulled” the series after its Tuesday episode “drew an embarrassingly low 0.4 rating among adults 18-49.” Last week’s debut episode had similarly sucky ratings. The episode’s ratings were “down 63 percent from UPN’s season performance in the Tuesday at 9 p.m. time slot.”

Looks like bitch will come crawling back to Laguna!

[Reality Blurred]

When Fuglies Collide

Paula's Gonna End Up With Another Fag!

Dr. Phil is putting together several bachelors for Paula Abdul in an upcoming show. How desperate is she?! According to sources, Dr. Phil's gaydar doesn't seem to be working very well. One of the bachelors he's chosen is a very popular West Hollywood fag!

The source said: "One of the guys he picked is well known to many of us - but not as a woman-lover. He has dated my friend as well as having hit on half the good-looking younger guys I know in L.A. They have been promoting this show over and over again - to howling laughter from the gays in West Hollywood."

Poor Paula! Remember when she married that fruit-cake Brad Beckerman!?

[Page Six]

Zellweger Sucks Dick for Cocaine!

Ok no she doesn't! But she totally looks like it. Here's Renee Zellweger going to some Vogue Magazine event wearing a GD trash bag! Let's hope she was hired to clean up the event and not attend it, because bitch looks wacked!

Katie, Don't Try to Fake!

Will somebody please pull that fucking pillow out?

Vadge is an Air Head!

Vadge has become obsessed with these oxygen machines and uses them to give her energy. She originally bought the machines to give herself oxygen facials, but has since learned that oxygen gives you much more energy. She has bought several machines for her different homes all over the world.

Bitch needs to put more of that oxygen in her vagina, because that shit is looking tired.

[Page six]

Nick Lachey Wants to Get Paid!

Nick Lachey filed legal papers in Los Angeles court on Friday requested spousal support from Chestica Simpson.

According to his divorce response, Lachey cited irreconcilable differences for the dissolution of the marriage. In addition to financial provisions, he is requesting miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects, his earnings from and after the date of separation as well as additional property assets to be determined.

In his filing, Lachey reports the couple's separation date as Dec. 13 while Simpson cited it was Nov. 23 in her divorce papers. The discrepancy in the dates is particularly relevant because of the nearly $1 million Simpson earned during those weeks that she'd have to split with her former husband under California law.

Bitch deserves whatever he wants! Anybody that puts up with that tuna-lips for that long deserves more money than God! Besides, you know he's never going to work again so he needs the dough!

[People]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lady Miss Kier from Dee-Lite

[For Tiff]

Birthday Sluts

Vanna White (49)
Rhianna (18)
Molly Ringwald (38)
Dr. Dre (41)
Matt Dillon (42)
John Travolta (52)
Juice Newton (54)
Cybill Shepard (56)
Yoko Ono (73)
Milos Forman (74)
Toi Morrison (75)

Matthew McConaGay Loves It Up the Ass!

This is just the story I need to get my Friday night going. A reader sent me this:

I have a good Matthew Gay Coneghy Story for you. My friend Jessica and her best friend Lindsay were out partying in Hollywood one night and low and behold MM starts chatting them up. Now, I can only tell YOU some parts of this story cuz I dont want to be mean to my own friends but NEITHER girl is very feminine, they are kind of bigger and Lindsay is a little mannish. So anyways long story short MM keeps wanting to get Lindsay back to the Beverly Hills Hotel and so she goes and they are making out and he keeps begging her to put her thumb ( specifically ) up his BUTT!!!! hahaha !!!! She wasnt into it so she just got as much weed out of him as she could and took off. But pretty much that proves he is gay. Its good enough for me.

Oh the dreams I'll have tonight! Though, I can imagine the plums that man has up there!

Halle...Not So Fresh

Halle Berry needed some fucking anti-perspirant while accepting her award as Harvard's Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year. Bitch get all crazy onstage too! I guess having some young meat in her bed has made her both wet and nuts!









[Photos: Concrete Loop]

Michael K Talks to Hottie from Flavor of Love

Everyone knows how I'm obsessed with Flavor of Love and over the past few weeks I've become obsessed with one character of the show: Hottie. She is seriously the star of that show and Vh1 should be talking to her for a spin-off. So, I found her official websiteabout three weeks ago and toyed with idea of e-mailing her. I finally did and asked her if she would grant me an interview. And she fucking did! Hottie called my ass this morning and I must say she sounds just like she does on TV! She is a trip and I'm putting that lightly. She honestly needs to be on my TV screen every single day. So here's the interview:



Hello?

Hello Michael?

Hi!

It's Hottie!

OMG, Hi Hottie! How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good! So what's up?

Well, did you watch this past week's show?

Of course! let’s talk about the lie detector test. What was up with that?

Well, can I make a confession? The truth is I’m not a 38DD, I’m a 44DD. But I only lied because I didn’t want the other girls in the house to be intimidated by me. So that’s why the lie detector test said I was lying.

Honestly, that wasn’t right.

I know. And lie detector tests aren’t 100%.

No, they aren’t. Now what about Brigitte? Was she cool?

Yes she was very cool. I think Brigitte and I are very similar. We are both strong women who love the company of wealthy and successful men.

What about the other girls in the house? It seemed like they all hated you.

I love all women in general. I’m not going to call out names, but most of the girls were cool with me. It was a competition. I wasn’t there to make friends. To me that was my man, my money and my mansion! So, just like I had to fight in the movie High Roller and in my cameo role on America’s Most Wanted, I had to fight there. I’m a lover not a fighter.

How did you get on the show in the first place?

My agent contacted me and told me there was a reality show about a hip-hop celebrity looking for love. And I believe everyone should have the chance to find love. The thing is I didn’t need to find a man either. I have men following me all the time. Once I was going down in an escalator and a man was coming up and he tried to crawl over the middle part to get to me. I was afraid for him!

Oh yes. Now on the first day of shooting did you know it was Flava Flav?

Yes, I found out and I had been a fan of his. I love his gold teeth and you know that gold accrues in value over the year. Ladies should think about that.

Hottie, your style was one of the stars of that show. Seriously, you looked hot and obviously the other girls were jealous of it. Tell me about your style?

Well, I have my own sense of personal style. I wear what I want. If I want to wear lace, I’ll wear it, if I want to wear feathers, I’ll wear it. I wore a lot of lingerie on the show, because the show is called Flavor of Love not Flavor of the Boardroom.

Tell me about your upcoming projects? Have you gotten a lot offers?

I can be seen very soon in the feature film Waist Deep starring Tyrese where I play a bank teller. I have also just signed a record deal so be sure to listen to my single in the clubs!

Any dates?

I get e-mails all the time from men offering me all sorts of things. So I’m of course entertaining those offers.

Where can my readers find more information about you?

For the time being they can go to http://www.schatar.com. It’s mainly a career website, but there’s photos and information there about me. I am in the process of setting up a MySpace so look for that!

Well, Hottie thanks for taking the time to talk to me today. My readers love you and I do too!

Thank you Michael!

I can tell you that when I got off the phone with her I was seriously shaking. You would think I was talking to Jesus himself. This has seriously made my year. Hottie, if your'e reading this thank you! You are hot shit!

Catching Up With an Old Friend!

Tonight is your chance to relive the beautiful magic of our dear, old friend Marguerite Perrin! Remember how a few months ago she was like the fucking air we breathed. How quickly we forget! But let's make tonight count and light a candle as we watch Fox's 2-hour rerun of Marge's 15-minutes!

A Little Tight!

Has Michelle Pfeiffer had any work done? I mean don't get me wrong, she looks hot. But has she ever gotten a little nip or a little botox? I'm not gonna rag, because I'm a fan of her ass. Anyway, I can't figure it out.

Only in Hong Kong!

Bai Ling has been going to events lately completely covered up. Here she is at the launch of some stank perfume called L'eau due parfum which translates into Stank Mess. Honestly, Bai gets these outfits in Hong Kong. Why? Because I used to know this Chinese girl in High School that wore outfits just like this. Seriously, she would show up in a purple cord overall set with a matching jacket. I mean not even homeless people would wear this shit. Whenever, I asked her where she got this shit she would say "Hong Kong." And I didn't have to ask any questions after that. It made so much sense.

Claire Danes Has Made Billy Crudup Fugly

Honestly, what happened to him?!

Vadge News!

For all you Vadge lovers, I have some tour news! The Divine Miss V will kick off her untitled tour on May 21st in Los Angeles. She will also play Russia for the first time ever. Let's hope everything goes to plan and old V doesn't break a hip or something.

[Thanks to Youri for info]

Afternoon Crumbs

Kate Moss can't remember shit! [TBLE]

Britney Spears speaks her mind [A Socialite's Life]

TomKat in Australia [Just Jared]

Penny and Salma get hot [Hollywood Rag]

Jenny McCarthy denies screwing Jenna Jameson [WWTDD]

Poor Cest La Vie! [Glitterati]

Ashlee Simpson is straight-up ugly! [Egotastic!]

Prince hates Parasite [Smart]

I Am Totally Going to This!

Are you the ULTIMATE "Flavor of Love" fan?
Do you know everything there is to know about Flav and the girls? Why not put your knowledge to good use by attending the taping of the very first "Flavor of Love" Reunion. You'll get an opportunity to ask questions of your favorite cast members, hear them revisit good times and bad, and even to be among the first to find out how things went for the girls after their "time was up". The taping will be held in Los Angeles on Saturday, February 25th. The taping is FREE but by invitation ONLY. So to secure your spot at what is gonna be one of the hottest reunions in VH1 History, write us at: flav_reunion@yahoo.com In your email, please include the following information:

• Your First Name
• Your Age & Sex
• Your city of residence
• Your top 5 questions for Flav and the ladies
• Your contact numbers and email address.

You will be contacted by a producer if he requires more information OR if you are selected for the audience. IMPORTANT NOTE: All audience members will be REQUIRED to sign a confidentiality agreement prior to being admitted to the audience

SPF Can't Poop Right!!

Britney Spears recently rushed her baby SPF to the ER, because he would not stop crying and was turning red. She was embarrassed to find out that SPF was only constipated.

One of the nurses said: "It seems he was just straining to fill his diaper. We gave him a quick change and clean up and he was fine."

What a dumb bitch.

[Spotlighting News]

JLove at The Annual Tourette Syndrome Awards

The joke wrote itself!

Damn, That's Cold!

I guess there's plenty of love lost between Heath Ledger and his bottom Jake Gyllenhaal. When asked about who should win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar, Heath was probably expected to say Jake. But it didn't go that way. Heath said that George Clooney should win the award for his performance in Syriana.

God, the fags move on so quickly! I bet that grouch Michelle Williams made him say that. She's a jealous cunt!

[Contact Music] [Thanks to Albz & Maria]

What Did Nicollette Do to Her Effin Lips?!

Parasite is One Lonely Ho!

First of all, Happy Birthday Parasite Hilton. I'm sure you're celebrating by trying to break the World's Gang Bang record. Anyhow, Parasite made a fool of herself at the Brit Awards after-parties in London a few days ago. Parasite who says she hasn't split from Nachos, indeed has. She showed up to one party alone and single and immediately focused her eyes on soccer player Frank Lampard. Parasite tried desperately to hook up with him, but Frank who is engaged wanted nothing to do with her ass and gave her the slip!

Then unfortunately for Frank the two met up at a different party. Frank happily talked to her and even gave her his phone number to be friends and shit. It was all platonic and he left the party.

Parasite then became crazed and started visiting party after party to find his ass! And at one of the last party of the evening's that dumb bitch even climbed onto a table to see if she could find him. And when she did she made her way over to him and confirmed his telephone number.

I bet you he gave her ass the wrong number!!!!

[The Sun] [Thx to Albz]

TomKat Go to a Funeral!

TomKat go to the funeral of their unborn Alien fetus good friend Australian mogul Kerry Packer. The memorial service was held at the Sydney Opera house. This photos completely freak me out. Seeing these two nut jobs in all black during a somber occasion all laughing and shit freaks me out. This is The Shining just waiting to happen.

See Jordan's American TV Debut!

by Lahoma00



For all of you that don't already watch, Footballers Wives, the fucking hottest show ever created, premieres it's 3rd season on BBC America on Sunday. This season features a appearance by Jordan! She's a guest at Shannon and Harley's wedding and in a scene she talks to Shannon about how hot her (Jordan's) tits are, then squeezes them. It's method acting!



Seriously, all you sluts need to watch this show. Their storylines involve breasts catching on fire, nurses raping male coma patients, hermaphrodite babies, bisexual men using sex toys, plastic surgery and lots of cocaine use. In one episode two characters almost get eaten by a lion. Also, everyone smokes which is hot since no one on TV does that anymore.

I Wonder If This Girl Will Ever Be Heard from Again?!

How many assistants has Naomi Campbell been through? Honestly, I don't think numbers that high exist. Well, on a flight from London to L.A. another one of her assistants quit on the spot. Thank God she did it in public or that bitch would've been fitted for some cement shoes!

A source said: "Naomi was angry because some dresses didn't get where they were supposed to go, and the assistant yelled that she was quitting,"

"Passengers complained to the stewardess, who was going to get the pilot, when they stopped their screaming match. Then they didn't speak to each other for several hours."

I still think someone should see if that girl is Ok! Because Naomi is a cunt-bitch and God knows what she's capable of. The maffia is even afraid of her ass!

[Page Six]

What Happened to Urkel?!

Remember his ass? Seriously, what happened to him. He's like a West Hollywood Fighter Pilot or something. In other words G-A-Y!



I think RuPaul and him are the same person!




[Thanks to JeffC]

Let's Hope the Fourth Time is a Charm!

Lisa Marie Presley said "I Do" for the 4th fucking time to musician Michael Lockwood in Kyoto, Japan. So she didn't say "I Do" she said like "Konichawa" or something. Hey, I'm half Japanese so I can make fun of that shit!

Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of rock 'n' roll king Elvis Presley, had married guitarist and music producer Michael Lockwood in a ceremony in Kyoto, Japan, her publicist said today.

Presley, 38, and Lockwood exchanged vows in a traditional Japanese ceremony on Jan. 22, spokesman Paul Bloch said.

It is Presley's fourth marriage.

She was previously married to Nicolas Cage, Michael Jackson and Danny Keough, who is the father of her two children.

The bride's mother, actress Priscilla Presley, walked her daughter down the aisle and gave her away, Bloch said.

And get this shit, the best man was Lisa's first husband! No, not Jacko but Danny Keough. You know Jacko was there in full on Memoirs of a Geisha gear. He could totally give Hatsumomo a run for yen!

[The Age] [Thanks to Stacy]

Would You Hit It?

Vin Diesel at the premiere of his idiotic movie Find Me Guilty. Yeah I'd hit it, but I heard he was a chubby chaser.

Does Johnny Weir Know We Exist?!

Ok, first of all thanks to all of you for sending me this. It literally made my morning and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. In an interview after losing the Olympics basically Johnny said this:

"I talked to one of my friends and they said, `You made this person's Web site as a D-list celebrity.' Great. I'm Kathy Griffin."

OMG, is that about us?! If it is, Johnny's friend please tell him to contact my ass! He is not a D-lister he is an A-lister this week to all of us here at Dlisted!!!

Johnny, the only thing that can top this is if Jordan took a dump in my toilet!



[Yahoo Sports] [Thanks to TotallyHotNickname and all those who sent it in!]

Nicole Richie Lands Into LAX a Wreck!

Guess what! Why is she hiding and why does she looks upset? She probably ate some peanuts on the plane and feels so ashamed. Oh no Nicole, don't be upset. You're rich and skinny!

*The Photo Agency that owns the rights to these photos have asked me to remove them*

The Dlisted Report

Eva Green has been cast as Vesper Lynd in James Bond's Casino Royale. Jeffrey Wright has also joined the cast as Felix Leiter. They join Daniel Craig, Judi Dench and Mads Mikkelsen who are all in Prague for the shooting of the film. [Coming Soon]

Ben Affleck will make his directorial debut directing his brother Casey Affleck in Gone, Baby Gone. The Miramax feature is based on the Dennis Lehane novel of the same name and was adapted by Affleck. The story revolves around two Boston private eyes who investigate the case of a missing child in a neighborhood of broken families, bitter cops and crazy ex-cons. Michelle Monaghan will play the other private eye. Shooting will take place this summer in Boston. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Shooting started on January 30th for the family adventure film Nancy Drew. Julia Roberts' neice Emma Roberts plays the title role. Based on characters created by Carolyn Keene, Nancy Drew follows Nancy (Emma Roberts) as she accompanies her father Carson (Tate Donovan) to Los Angeles on one of his business trips and stumbles across evidence about a long-unsolved crime involving the mysterious death of a beautiful movie star. Nancy's resourcefulness and personal responsibility are put to the test when she finds herself in the middle of the fast-living, self-indulgent world of Hollywood. The film is due to be released next year. [Warner Bros]

Les Miserables which closed on Broadway in 2003 will make a special 6-month return to Broadway on October 21, 2006. The Broadhurst Theatre will house the return of the Victor Hugo-inspired musical epic that will have been away from Broadway for only three years and five months. The hit — Broadway's third longest-running show behind The Phantom of the Opera and Cats — closed May 18, 2003, at the Imperial Theatre. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Finally cementing just how insane she really is, Rosie O'Donnell helps the little people in a tug of war. - Jae


[Thanks to Jeff]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sherilyn Fenn

Birthday Sluts

Paris Hilton (25)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (25)
Jason Ritter (26)
Jerry O'Connell (32)
Bryan White (32)
Billie Joe Armstrong (34)
Denise Richards (35)
Tuesday Knight (37)
Michael Jordan (43)
Lou Diamond Phillips (44)
Rene Russo (52)
Dame Edna (72)

Fergie Quote of the Day!

on her gorgeous voice:

“I, uh, I had a conversation with God, basically. I don't know how to interpret this, but he said, ‘I've given you this beautiful gift and you're throwing it away.’”

Johnny Weir is Crashing and Burning!

A reader sent me this:

Is crashing and burning as we speak. In 6th place in the long program with a few skaters left.

Oh no, Johnny! My prayers have not worked! Anyway, I still love him. I will always faithfully follow his beauty regimen. Which he failed to mention includes a jizz facial twice a night. Also please click here to view our favorite Ice Princess on a shopping spree with a reporter. God, he's my idol even without an Olympic medal!

Expect a hissy fit to rival Tonya Harding's to take place at the medal ceremony tonight!

UPDATE - Click here to see if Johnny did or didn't get a medal!

[Thanks to Jay, Mike and Nolta]

More Grossness!

Below I talked about the Scott Stapp/Kid Rock sex tape and linked to the trailer. Gawker, has some hot insight into the tape. From the looks of it, it seems Kid Rock is getting fucking figged by that chick! Figging is when you put a chile or ginger up your ass so it stings and shit. I mean she could just be sticking her finger up there, but I'd like to think she was pushing a huge, juicy chile up in there. Aye papi!

It's Black, It's White!

Black. White. is a new revolutionary reality show debuting on the FX channel. Think Wife Swap, but with a twist. The show follows a black family and a white family in everyday situations. However, the families swap colors. That's right. The white family has been made to look black and vice versa with the black family.

"Black.White." is the debut of such a dramatic switch on television, the producers say, although such adventures in pigmentation have been the stuff of literature and film, from the 1961 book "Black Like Me," by John Howard Griffin, to the 2004 film "White Chicks," starring Shawn and Marlon Wayans.

This time, viewers see the families (who temporarily leave work and school) in the Los Angeles area, secretly integrating a bar with a bartending job (Mr. Sparks) or joining a black poetry group (Ms. Bloomfield). Mostly, the families try to get a taste of life in another skin as they shop, go to church or seek help with a broken-down car. For six weeks last summer, they even lived together in a big San Fernando Valley house, debating the meanings of their experience and sharing their lives.

Seriously, is there a need for this shit. TV is getting out of control, albeit I'm into that shit, but still out of control. They did a good job on the make-up though. They deserve an Emmy for that shit. Oh and I probably won't be watching since anything slightly intelligent makes my brain combust into a million pieces.

[NY Times ] [Thanks to Dr. Jennifer]

How Does She Wake Up Next to That!?!

Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese at a Brit Awards party last night. Bitch is on crack if she actually sucks anything that belongs to him.

Afternoon Crumbs

Parasite Hilton is the sluttiest bride I've ever seen [IDLYITW]

Paula Abdul on Dr. Phil [Popbytes]

Poor Apple Martin has that bitch Fishsticks as a mother [Just Jared]

The Return of Janice Dickinson [FourFour]

Carrie Underwood wears shoes made out of puppies [Cityrag]

Cindy Margolis has small breasts [Hollywood Tuna]

Sophia Bush reads Egotastic [Egotastic!]

Cameron Diaz and Jude Law hold hands [Hollywood Rag]

The Brit Awards: The Freaks Come Out!

Joss Stone: At least bitch is wearing something on her dirty ass feet!



Boy George: Where's the coke?



Kelly Osbourne: Guess she took her propecia that morning cause she has a full head of wig!



Kanye West: Sgt. Idiot's Stupid Heart Club Band



Kelly Clarkson: Fat and Fug



Parasite Hilton: Tranny

The Photoshop Awards: Britney Spears

YES this is a recent photoshoot and NO that can't be her!

When Fuglies Fight!

HoHan and Kimberly Stewart used to be two fuglies friends. They probably did lines off of one another's ginas and shit. Well at the Tab Energy party the two barely spoke causing some to believe they don't like each other anymore.

A source said: "“Lindsay and Kimberly were sitting on the same side of the room but they totally ignored each other,"

"They didn'’t even acknowledge each other'’s presence. Lindsay just kept to herself for the most part, and Kimberly spent time with pals, but neither would even say hello. They used to be friends, but no more."

Aww...what happened? I think while HoHan was doing lines off of Kimbo's gina, Kaccidentallyially sucked some shit in. That angered HoHan and now the two aren't talking. Over drugs?! Come on girls! Isn't friendship worth more?

[National Ledger]

This is NOT Hot!

It seems there's a sex tape out there involving Creed singer Scott Stapp and Kid Rock. The tape shows the two fucking on a tour bus, but don't worry they are not screwing each other.

Us Weekly has learned exclusively that a sex tape involving the singer and fellow musician Kid Rock, 35, is set to be released. The tape shows both stars involved in explicit sex acts on a tour bus while touring together six years ago.

The two don't engage in any sex acts together, but are seen and heard talking to one another during the acts. Footage was acquired by Red Light District, the same company that distributed Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape One Night in Paris.

'We acquired the tape from a third party' says Red Light's president David Joseph.

Why? Why? Why?!!! Honestly, it should be against the law for people that look like that to film themselves getting nasty. But you know I'll still watch it!

UPDATE - Thanks to reader Joey here's like 50 seconds of the tape! Scott Stapp is the King of Trash!

[Hollywood Rag] [Thanks Stacy]

Blame it on Fishsticks!

Coldplay announced at last night's Brit Awards that they were basically going to call it quits, at least for the time being.

Chris Martin told the crowd: "It's going to be a few years before you see us again." "People are fed up with us - and so are we."

He says he wants to spend more time with Fishsticks. I knew she had something to do with this!

Actually, I don't really care!

UPDATE - According to their record labe, it's not true. They said: "Coldplay are categorically not splitting up. They are on the road until July, when their 16 month X&Y World Tour ends in Japan. They will then be having a well deserved rest before working on their fourth album."

[Female First]

Johnny Weir NEEDS Gold!

Yesterday, I wrote about my newest fascination Johnny Weir. He truly is an inspiration to me. Only in figure skating can a fucking fag beyond fasg get away with being more of a woman than Parasite Hilton. Because of this I got an outpouring of Johnny love from you guys. Isn't he fucking out of control? Johnny skates tonight for Gold tonight and I seriously hope he brings it home. He would probably take that medal to fucking Jacob the Jeweler and have some diamonds put on that shit.

You know Johnny is kind of hot. God, I'm grossing myself out. His face is kind of down-syndrome looking, but his body is kind of hot. OMG, what is happening to me?!



Check out this slut's MySpace! He says he's fucking BI! Bi what?!

Oh and here's two HOT videos of Johnny. The first one shows him wooing Matt Lauer on The Today Show. He's seriously wearing a heart fucking sweater. I know he got that like at Talbots.



And this video comes from the Malcontent and shows Johnny at the height of his DIVAness.



[Thanks to LA, Ryan, DobryDen & MyDingaling]

Grow Some Eyebrows Bitch!

Tom and Bridget NOT OVER

Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady are not broken up. At least that's what it seems. Last week there were rumors that the two were over and Tom was moving on. However, the two seemed very much in love at an event in California last week.

A source said: "She followed his round of golf and managed to get some kisses in, as well as a strategically placed hand on his bum as he walked to the tee box. She was totally hanging onto him and acting like a star-struck teenager."

Well, he's still fucking other chicks!

[Page Six]

The Wrong Man!

Here's a pretty funny video put together by the folks at Best Week Ever. This is who Oprah really should've leashed her fury on and not James Frey!

[Thanks to JennC]

Father & Son

Goddamn you Brad Pitt and Maddox Jolie-Pitt! I try so hard to keep my black heart ice cold, but I just can't when I see pictures like this. You've screwed up my entire day! I will see you in hell for this! Why did you have to go to that park in Paris by your apartment?! Why did you have to play with that race car?! Why do you two have to look so GD precious! You will pay for this!

Damn, Calgon take me away!

Falling Star?!

First there were the rumors about her divorce to Gay Al and now these rumors! Please Jesus let all of this come true! Starlet Jones is reportedly secretly being replaced as a co-host on The View. Producers are said to be interviewing celebrities to replace her ass.

A source said: "The producers are looking for someone to take over from Star who will blend in with the other co-hosts. They want someone who will jump into the conversation with their own viewpoint but not be so combative and stubborn as Star has been over the years."

The insider also said that Star has become a least favorite of viewers because of her bitchy attitude and her frequent on and off screen fights with Joy Behar.

A spokeswhore for The View only had this to say: "Star continues to be an integral part of the show. From time to time The View approaches new talent to be substitute co-hosts."

How hot would this be? She's losing her #1 gay and now her job?! Soon that selfish bitch will have nothing! She won't even be able to get a job giving blow jobs at a titty club in Tijuana, Mexico!

[The National Enquirer] [Thanks to Jeff]

Is This the Next Bond Girl?

I just reported down in my Dlisted Report that Eva Green and Olivia Wilde (of The O.C. fame) were battling it out for the key role of Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale. However, Page Six is reporting that Eva has landed the role and is currently in Prague rehearsing. I'm not sure this is true since producers yesterday didn't officially announce anyone.

You may remember Eva from a film called The Dreamers in which she exposes her hairy snatch!

Click here to see her in all her hairy glory! They are going to have to change the Bond girl name to Hairy Lynd!

[Page Six]

The Places This Glove Has Been!

Ever wanted a piece of Michael Jackson? Well, now's your chance. An official glove worn in concert by Jacko is up for auction at eBay. You know bitch put it up there himself. He's broke as shit and needs money to buy more burkas.

Offered here on ebay is a rare chance to obtain something very special indeed. This is Michael Jacksons owned and concert worn single white jewelled glove. This is the single most recognised trademark item that represents the iconic superstar. Used in concert in the 1990's, this glove would have been worn during the Billie Jean performances. This is specifically a glove to be worn in concert as there are no stones on the palm side, so holding the microphone and manipulating the fedora hat is easier. On the back side of the glove are hundreds of rhinestones individually sewn on, the stones on the fingers are smaller than the ones on the back of the hand. These really reflect the light. The palm side is visually stained through use. There are 3 fastners on the palm side. Condition of the glove is excellent, there are no stones missing from what I can tell, it is in used condition.

This glove is a significant piece of pop history. Original pieces like this with significant paperwork (see below) are nearly impossible to find and scarcely available on the open market. The original single white glove is increasingly popular among Michael Jackson collectors.

Oh and I failed to mention the price...$250,000!!!! Fuck that shit!? If I wanted to get close to Jacko I'd just shave all my pubes and dress up like a boy scout. That's not a bad idea actually. Do you think my facial stubble would throw him off?

Bid on it!

Little Girls Playing Dress-Up

Here's the official Badgley Mishka ad starring MK and Ash Olsen and shot by world-renowned photographer Gilles Bensimon or whatever Tyra Banks calls him.

Isn't it cute when little girls get into their mothers things?

[Thanks Glen]

Vadge Covers Her Vadge!

Yay! Vadge finally listened to me and finally covered her privates. I'm so glad. I hate that hair though. It's just looney and not cool. However, those shoes are hot. Anyway, Vadge won Best International Female at The Brit Awards. I didn't see the show, but people said when her name was announced her husband Guy Ritchie went to give her a kiss and she turned away. Bitch didn't even thank him in her speech!

Uh-oh Guy! You better start hoarding money away now, because Queen M is about to send your ass to the glue factory!







[Thanks to Youri]

The Dlisted Report

Christopher Walken and Eva Mendes have joined Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix in We Own the Night. Walken will play the patriarch of a cop family. While one son followed in his footsteps, the other is the black sheep who's become manager of a club controlled by the Russian mob. Mendes will play the love interest of the manager, who is caught up in the nightclub world. Shooting begins this March in New York. [Variety]

Paul Rudd has joined the cast of Reno 911!: Miami. Reno 911!: Miami, which started shooting Jan. 23 in Miami and Los Angeles, finds the officers visiting a national police convention in Miami Beach at the height of spring break. When the convention center is bio-attacked, it's up to Reno's "finest" to save the day. Mo'Nique and Cloris Leachman have also joined the cast. [MTV]

Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen has landed the role of lead villian in Casino Royale. Daniel Craig plays James Bond in the film that is shooting now in Prague. As for the key role of Bond girl Vesper Lynd producers say that the role is down to two or three actress with Olivia Wilde and Eva Green in the mix. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Apparently, the only virgin in this picture is the Virgin mobile phone. - Migs

Hot Slut of the Day!

Trina

Birthday Sluts

Steve Kmetko (53)
Christopher Eccleston (42)
John McEnroe (47)
Ice-T (48)
LeVar Burton (49)

Brooke Burke is Cheating on the King!

It seemed like only yesterday that Brooke Bruke and the Burger King were in love. She did a commercial for him and everything! And now the bitch is already cheating. Below is Brooke at fucking McDonald's! That bitch is cheating on the King with Ronald! What a low blow! The red lipstick on her pussy should've given it away!

Johnny Weir is Bobby Trendy on Ice!

Johnny Weir is insane. He's currently battling for a medal in Torino. I know nothing about him, but when a friend sent me this article on him I suddenly became intrigued. At 20 years old, he's fucking crazy. He honestly is the gayest ice skater of all time and that's a hard title to take! I love him though and he's one of my new heroes. However, I would not hit that. Ok, maybe just in the mouth.

Here's some great quotes from Johnny from an interview he did with Salon.

Johnny on TV:

I don't watch TV. I just tune in for "The Simple Life." Have you seen it yet, with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie?

Johnny on Parasite Hilton:

I like that she's famous for really not doing anything. And I like her because she rolls with it and she is a huge celebrity now, and she's famous for being famous, as someone quoted at one point, and she definitely goes to her own tune, and I think that's admirable ... But as far as design and stuff, I like the people that are a little bit different. As far as women's clothing, I really like Heatherette. I think they're crazy with everything they do with the rhinestones and the paint, and I think it's very cool. But as far as stuff I wear, I just like things that are different and things that are well made. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a Roberto Cavalli jacket or, um, like a Balenciaga bag. Which I bought yesterday.

Johnny on Fur:

You know, animals wear fur coats, so I don't see any reason why I can't. It's discrimination, I think.

Johnny on His Personal Fur Coat:

It's just, it's coyote fur. It's somehow like a coyote shearling of sorts, and it's really nice, and it's long, and it's beautiful ... I love beautiful things, and if it means having a fur coat or diamonds -- or even if I want to wear a tiara someday -- then that's just the way it's going to be. You know, I really, I don't seek approval or anything.

So I don't think PETA will ever realize that fur is fabulous. But for now I think it is.

Johnny on the Kabbalah:

My string actually fell off while I was up here, so I'm purged of all my negative energy

Johnny on the song he'd like playing when he wins Gold at Torino:

"Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.

Seriously how gay is he? He also said that one of his nicknames is Tinkerbell and he thinks Michelle Kwan is dowdy.

Johnny look me up we should go shopping at Bebe or wherever you like to go.

Seriously, How Many of These are Dudes?!

This is the Pussycat Dolls and they should change their name to the Peniscat Dolls, because bitches look like lady-dudes. Ok, the one with the red hair is a dude and possibly the one at the end with the white shirt. Damn, they are all manly men!

Whitney Houston's Comeback?!

There are rumors that Whitney Houston will perform at the Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy this Sunday. The rumor goes as far to say that she's already done a soundcheck and everything went well.

The promoters probably told her that Italy is gorgeous and there's white powder everywhere! The bitch probably didn't miss a beat and jumped on a plane in nano-seconds!


[Concrete Loop]

Vadge in Bazaar

[Thanks to AIP]

Afternoon Crumbs

David Hasselhoff and Pepsi [Hollywood Rag]

Heidi Klum gets naked [Egotastic!]

Fishsticks actually says something nice [A Socialite's Life]

The America's Next Top Model 6 Girls [Just Jared]

Chestica Simpson and Jude Law deserve each other [Popbytes]

The Olsens try to model [Gabsmash]

The New Lara Croft [Hollywood Tuna]

Evangeline Lilly preggers? [IDLYITW]

HoHan Dresses Up for Premiere Magazine!

Has she even seen any of these movies?



HoHan as Annie Hall



HoHan as Sally Bowles



HoHan as Gloria Wandrous

Bitch Try Diet Coke Instead!

Britney Spears wore one of Mrs. Roper's old outfits as she shopped at Fred Segal in Los Angeles. This was just one day after Britney was rushed to the ER because KFed shot with her ass by accident she had cramps from eating too much Pintos 'N' Cheese.

Britney needs to put down the reg. Coke and pick up some Diet.

Kelly Osbourne is a Bald Bitch!

This is some funny news. Kelly Osbourne recently had a hair emergency, because bitch is going bald! She had her stylist run out and get hair extensions, because her hair wasn't working!
She said: "It was horrible.

"Because I've fiddled with my hair over the years, it started falling out in clumps. I had to get extensions for this premiere."

I think that her hair finally got a good look at her fug face and now it's running like there's no tomorrow!

[Female First]

Mimi and Her Excuses!

Mimi is full, full of excuses. The latest one is about her performance at the Grammy's. I honestly didn't think it was that bad. Yeah, she didn't sound her best but so what. I feel for her. Well, Mimi can't just let anything go. She told Rolling Stone that the reason for her not-so-fresh performance was due to the dress she wore.

She said: "Satin is very unforgiving.

"What was I going to do? Call Karl Lagerfeld and say, 'Can you please make it out of matte jersey instead?'"

Stop blaming other bitches! If anything had to do with it, it was that girdle you probably wore to suck in your GD gut!

UPDATE: I'm on freon. I didn't take my smart pills this morning. Mimi was actually talking about her GOLDEN GLOBE dress. Thanks to Jocelyn for pointing out what an idiot I am. I'm sorry Mimi!

[Female First]

Chilli Speaks!

Yesterday I wrote this on Chilli of TLC:

TLC singer Chilli aka Rozonda Thomas was busted by cops early last Thursday morning after she was pulled over in Atlanta for driving without her headlights on. Everything was going fine until police learned that Chilli had drugs in her car. The bitch was arrested and released on $10,000 bail.

Today, her pr rep issued this statement to me:

Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas was not pulled over by police, nor was she found in possession of any form of narcotics. As Ms. Thomas simply stated - 'I haven't even seen a police officer lately.' These rumors are malicious, libelous and unacceptable.

I'm glad that's cleared up!

Is Maddox Smoking?!

I know it's just a lollipop. Maddox is back to his old self as his pregnant mother carried him through a toy store and let him buy whatever he wanted. He probably asked for a hanger so he could abort that baby. OMG, I'm just kidding! Jesus! Anyway, they all look the same...blah..blah...blah

Seriously, they need more color in their lives.

Is Jennifer Aniston Getting Wild Just For Vince?

Friends of Jennifer Aniston are said to be worried for her, because she's started to drink and gamble much more. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer were in Las Vegas recently and they were always seen drinking and gambling until the wee hours of the morning. Friends say this is quite unlike her and she's only doing it this to please her man.

A source said: "She’s trying too hard to please her hard-partying boyfriend. She’s changed since she’s been with Vince."

It seems to be working, because Vince has agreed to move into her Malibu manse.

Hmm...looks like bitch is finally getting with the program and actually trying to please a man. Maybe this one she'll keep. Damn, that's cold.

[Buzzle]

Xtina Gets in the VD Mood

Xtina celebrated VD by buying delish cookies. Damn I want one of those. She however still wore red lipstick. Maybe it's permanent? That's what I think.

Parasite Gets Floured!

Read the story in a post below and here's some hot pictures! That dumb bitch! Thanks to Peta for the pics!

Buffy the Husband Stealer

Kristy Swanson is a dirty, little tramp! Kristy is currently on Skating with Celebrities on FOX. Her skating partner is Lloyd Eisler. Now get this shit. During their training Lloyd and Kristy fell in love and had a beautiful affair. Now that would be find and dandy, but Lloyd had a pregnant wife at home! Yup!

Eisler's wife, Marcia O'Brien, says she believes the relationship began before she and Eisler were officially separated— and while she was pregnant with the couple's second child.

"I said, 'You've been lying to me. You need to leave,' " the wife told "Inside."

"Anyone who would do this to a pregnant woman, I say, 'good riddance,' " O'Brien said.

Eisler claims he only started dating Swanson after he and O'Brien separated.

GD you Kristy Swanson! Don't think you are some Angelina Jolie! A reader also told me that the affair was going on while they were taping the show and not after Lloyd separated from his wife.

[Boston Herald] [Thanks to SCR]

Geriatric Girl

Damn! Vadge is getting old as shit! Apparently last week at Cedars Sinai in L.A. that bitch had hernia surgery. People are saying she fucked that shit up, because of all the twisting and turning she does. That doesn't make no sense!

She also showed up to the Kabbalahballah Center in L.A. all sad and shit.

Vadge, I know I give you a hard time...but please get better. However, it would bring me such joy if your next tour was done entirely from a wheelchair! We can decorate it with glitter and everything!

[Page Six] [Thanks MomtheMumsie]

Let's Take Posh Skiing!

Posh Beckham took her family skiing at some mountain with snow on it. Bitch is really so skinny that they could've saved the money on those tacky Chanel skis and rode her ass down the hill!

Parasite Hilton Gets Flour Bombed!

Jesus you have heard my prayers! Parasite Hilton worked the catwalk during London fashion week at Julien McDonald's show. Parasite wore $3.5 Millions worth of gems as she opened the show. That's not the good part!

Members of Peta went to protest Julien's show, because he uses tons of fur. They followed the clan to the after-party at a club. It was there they started throwing flour bombs and one reportedly hit that stupid bitch Parasite!

I've been trying to find pictures or video of this and have come up with nothing. This is the hottest shit. I would give nothing to see that slut spread-eagled on the ground covered in dirty flour! Too bad those bags weren't filled with fucking acid!

[This is London] [Thanks to Anna]

The Dlisted Report

The cast and crew of Wild Things will have a reunion. Director John McNaughton has rounded up two Wild Things cast members for Backstabbers. The story is described as a sexy caper about a rich New York man who masterminds his wife's kidnapping unaware that his mistress and bodyguard are going to double-cross him. Denise Richards and Neve Campbell are in talks. [Variety]

David Cronenberg has agreed to direct Easter Promises written by Steven Knight of Dirty Pretty Things fame. "Promises" focuses on a young midwife drawn into investigating the identity of a mysterious Russian girl who dies in childbirth on Christmas Eve. The nurse stumbles into danger when she discovers that the dead woman was a prostitute ensnared by a sex-trafficking gang. [Variety]

Joey McIntyre will play Fonzie in a stage musical version of Happy Days. Garry Marshall — who created and produced the original television show — directs the new musical version of his popular 1974-84 series at his Falcon Theatre in Burbank, California. The show is slated to open Feb. 24 for a run through March 12. Ernie Sabella will play Arnie. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Paris Hilton is the only person rich enough, dumb enough and lazy enough to have a personal coke-finger assistant. - 2 Pink Balloons

[Thanks to Superview]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dotty Dog from The Get Along Gang!

[For Gabe]

Birthday Sluts

Jane Child (40)
Jenna Morasca (25)
Bright Eyes (26)
Omarosa (32)
Matt Groening (52)
Jane Seymour (55)
Melissa Manchester (56)
Marisa Bersenson (60)

KFed Will Shoot Your Ass!

KFed pulled a Dick Cheney yesterday by getting together with his friends and goin' shooting! But that idiot KFed did it in someone's neighborhood. God, he seriously has shit for brains.

Two eyewitnesses -- one on the TMZ staff -- say Britney Spears' hubby and a half-dozen other guys were at an apartment complex in Studio City, a suburb of Los Angeles. For several hours, they were playing war games in the densely populated residential area, shooting projectiles -- possibly rubber pellets -- from what appeared to be air guns with laser scopes.

We're told the projectiles were hitting dwellings and cars as they frequently missed their intended targets. The games went on for several hours, as some annoyed residents looked on.

The eyewitnesses say Federline's buddies were wearing army fatigues and some were wearing masks. Federline was wearing a beanie and jeans.

Wait?! Maybe that's why Britney went to the ER?! KFed shot her ass on accident!!! AHAHAHAHAH!

[TMZ]

Diet Dr. Pepper is Great to Remove the After-Taste of Vom!

Just kidding! I love you Richie! Even though you're wearing Star Jones as a coat. Anyway, Nicole was in my fair Hamlet giving out Diet Dr. Pepper to any bitch who would take it. She literally was only 4 blocks from my apartment giving out that shit. If I would've known my ass would have flown over there! Oh well....

TOMKAT'S DONE!

Well according to Life & Style anyway. They claim that the couple is fucking over! I don't know if I believe this shit, but it would be hot shit!

Life & Style has learned exclusively that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have agreed to call off their wedding — and, ultimately, to split.

Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom’s saying: “Their relationship is basically over.” Another friend adds: “They both agreed that the marriage wouldn’t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.”

The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby’s birth this spring. In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home — though sleeping in separate bedrooms — through the summer. Then, presumably, they’ll announce a separation — but Tom plans to buy Katie a home nearby so he can visit his child whenever he wishes.

“They’ll share custody,” says the friend, who claims the couple are drawing up a legal document to provide for Katie’s and the baby’s financial well-being for life. “Tom will set up Katie and the baby,” adds the pal.

This makes so much sense. It was all part of their plan. I bet you she's going to have a "miscarriage" or something! This is some juicy shit. I need to go put some ice water on my face and get it together!

UPDATE - Yup, like clockwork their spokesbitches are denying it! An official denial is expected soon.

UPDATE II - Yup, it's official. They denied that shit! Check out Popbytes for all the info!

[Life&Style] [Thanks to Hollywood Rag]

Afternoon Crumbs

Brandon Routh comes out [A Socialite's Life]

Tyra Banks and Bob Barker [Just Jared]

Carmen Electra has fun with blow up dolls [Hollywood Rag]

Why is Jennifer Garner scared of Britney Spears? [IDLYITW]

Brokeback Mountain dolls [WWTDD]

Sienna Miller moves out of Jude Law's crib [Egotastic!]

Are Chestica and Adam Levine official? [Bricks and Stones]

Whitney Houston removes BK's MySpace [Glitterati]

Hottie is a LIAR!

My recap is below, but here is the lie detector part of the episode where Hottie basically broke the machine!

[Crunk and Disorderly]

Damn Her!

Pamela Anderson is promoting Green M&M's in Melbourne today. Nicole Richie was originally supposed to do it, but was dropped by the company because bitch doesn't eat chocolate! Pamela however is totally contaminating all those delish candies with her hep! I'm just kidding! I'd still eat the candies she touches after dipping them in bleach!

Oh and doesn't she look about eleventy?

Flavor of Love: A Love That Could've Been

This week's episode opened up with the funniest shit I've seen on the show in a while. Flava Flav caught our little Hottie on an episode of Blind Date. In the episode Hottie went on and on about how she only likes men with money, etc... Flava quickly called all the girls in to watch this train-wreck unfold!




It's long! So click here to read on...



Hottie is still wearing that tired top?!



After watching Hottie's reality debut, Pumkin admitted she'd been on Blind Date like it was no big deal.



Cut to, a sexy leg getting out of a limo...could it be...really..no...yes...



Gitte! Damn, Flav get a hot comb!



Gitte quickly quizzed the girls on why they want to be with Foofy Foo as she calls him. I love how New York was so mad at this and said "He's not a Foofy Foo, he's a man!" Um..no he's a Foofy Foo.



Gitte immediately took the girls into a questioning room where she hooked up their silicone tits to a lie-detector machine and quickly asked them some intimate questions!



Goldie, being the country hick she is..can't tell a lie!



She passed with flying colors. Do you think she's thinking about making a sugar sandwich after this?



Pumkin passed also, but admitted she had been on reality and even fucked on reality TV! Damn who knew Pumkin's been carved on National TV!



New York admitted she was a dude. Damn, I wish! She did however admit she was in love with Foofy Foo. She's an insane tranny!



The biggest heartbreak came when Smiley was asked if she was a stripper and she hesitatingly said yes. She wanted to give more explanation, but Gitte wasn't having it. She also tearfully admitted she was still in love with her ex-husband. Poor Smiley!



The Grand Finale came with Hottie! Here's how it went:

Gitte - Are you 25?
Hottie - Yes (LIE)
Gitte - Are you over 30?
Hottie - No (LIE)
Gitte - Have you ever been on reality TV?
Hottie - No (LIE)

This bitch is crazy!!!!!!!! She knows it. She looks like a woman on death row. Gitte should've asked her if she was Beyonce. She probably would've said yes.



After all the seriousness, Gitte took the girls out for a night on the town. Things started bad when Gitte told Hoopz she was basically fugly. Hoopz being ghetto and manly fought back. It was war of words!



Red Sonja Attacks!



They got so loud they had to go to dinner across the street! That's ghetto! Kicked out of a restaurant on Hollywood BLVD? That's just embarrassing. Gitte became so enraged with Hoopz she wanted to leave. New York stopped her. Damn, she is a dude! She grabs like a basketball player.



Hoopz shut up!



Unfortunately, there wasn't any fists thrown. Just a lot of screaming about Hoopz being ugly and Gitte being a bitch.



Hoopz left and decided to sell her fugly ass on the BLVD.



Back at the house, Smiley did a foolish thing by admitting to New York that she was confused and completely fucked up.



New York's brain registers all of this information because she knows she's going to need this when she tells Flav the truth about Smiley.



Flav takes each of the girls for some one on one time. Before this he had brunch with Gitte in which she told her how the girls did on the lie detector tests and how dinner went. Hottie refused to come clean. She said "I have been honest." WHAT?! This bitch needs to be admitted!



Pumkin admitted she wanted to be black.



After the confrontations, Goldie and the other girls told Flav that Smiley is fucked up and doesn't belong in this house. They told him that she was emotionally unstable. Like they are all healthy and shit?



Smiley defended herself by ratting out New York!



Oooh...New York is mad. Look at that Adam's apple! Pumkin is studying her on how to be black.



New York unleashes a rage at Smiley including the famous words "Don't let my name come out of your mouth!" So Smiley can never say New York? That's a fucking challenge. Good luck on that Smiley.



Smiley let out her own fury telling the girls she wanted to be here.



At eliminations Flav smelled a rat. It was probably just Hottie's stank weave.



When New York was spared, she literally cried like a drag queen at Pride.



Flav however wasn't so nice to Hottie. He basically chewed that bitch out. It was hot!



The King is pissed!



Hottie again said "I have been honest." WHAT?! Flav laughed at her ass and told her to leave. By the way that is a hot fucking dress. I've only seen that on granny's and tranny's.



He also however had to dismiss Smiley, because she's still in love with her ex-husband. Poor thing.



Flava will always love Smiley. I know this.

Who is This Cross-Eyed Bitch?!

Click here to who it is! Warning NSFW pics ahead!

[Thanks to H and JeffC] [ONTD]



It's Willa Ford! If you don't know who this bitch is you're not alone. She's basically a one-hit wonder if you even consider that song a hit. She had this jam a few years ago called I Wanna Be Bad. She was supposed to be like the "bad" Britney Spears. Anyway, here's her in Playboy. I guess someone fixed that busted cross-eyed problem she had!

Ryan Seacrest and His Beard

What do you think it takes to become Ryan Seacrest's professional beard? This could be a good career change for any gals out there. Here's Ryan and his beard pretending to be in love while in Malibu. Actually they aren't doing a very good job of it, because he looks like he'd rather be getting a rimming from Clay Aiken and she looks like she'd rather be trying on shoes at Kitson!

Message to Chilli

TLC singer Chilli aka Rozonda Thomas was busted by cops early last Thursday morning after she was pulled over in Atlanta for driving without her headlights on. Everything was going fine until police learned that Chilli had drugs in her car. The bitch was arrested and released on $10,000 bail.

Chilli! Don't go chasing waterfalls! Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to!

[Gossiplist] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Britney Spears is Dying!

Ok not really. Damn, what's wrong with all these celebs? Anyway, Britney Spears went to the ER yesterday in Malibu after complaining about cramps.

Britney girl I told you that you can't eat 6 bags of Cheetos in one sitting! Shit, pace yourself!

[TMZ]

Liberace was such a fag!

by Lahoma00


This is seriously the most fucked up picture of Liberace ever. He was such a homosexual; he made Michael K and I look like truckers. Did you know that Liberace forced his boyfriend to get plastic surgery to look more like him---he wanted to go and fuck himself, literally!

Happy Valentine's Day bitches!

Mena Suvari Gets Young Meat!

You know I love this bitch Mena Suvari. Maybe her large forehead has hypnotized me into falling in love with her. Seriously, I'd eat her snatch. Oh hell no! Anyway, Mena's divorce to Robert Brinkman isn't final yet and the bitch already has a new man on her arm. This time Mena has decided to go for young shit. Mena's ex was like 20 years older than her ass or something. Mena's new man is 4 years younger than her and describes himself as a breakdancer from Las Vegas.

You go. Get your sex on. She probably got sick of limp dick and so traded that shit in for good ole, young and hard penis!

[Page Six]

Brangelina Moving to Paris?

Brangelina are currently enjoying a long holiday in Paris and some say they are hoping to buy a home there very soon. The pair are currently renting an apartment there, but have began house hunting to find a permanent stay. They are interested in the South of France because they are jealous of Johnny Depp's paparazzi-free life there.

In other Angelina Jolie news...Marilyn Manson has asked her to star as The Red Queen in his adaptation of Alice in Wonderland called Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. Model Lily Cole has already been cast in the title role.

He said: "I want to make a psychological horror film that is unlike the kind we see today,"

"I am more interested in making the kind of traditional horror that inspired what we see today."

Please Angelina is too good for that shit!

[Page Six]

Don't Die Brenda Walsh!

Brenda Walsh aka Shannen Doherty was in a car crash yesterday in Malibu.

TMZ has learned that Shannen Doherty was involved in a car crash in Malibu on Monday and the other driver was taken to the hospital.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that the 34-year-old actress was driving her Range Rover when she made a left turn onto Pacific Coast Highway, striking a Mustang driven by James Warren Paul, who was taken by ambulance to a Santa Monica hospital.

We're told Doherty complained of pain at the scene but refused treatment.

Law enforcement official tells TMZ Doherty was cited for causing the accident.

Oh damn! Someone must've pissed this bitch off. I bet she caused the accident. She's a bitch! All I can say is that this bitch needs medical treatment! She can't die. She's our only in hope in someone that will actually beat the jizz out of Parasite Hilton!

[TMZ]

The Hulk is Sheriff!

We're on a celebrity D-list roll today! Our next story is about the former "Incredible Hulk" Lou Ferrigno. Well, at the age of 54 Lou has become a L.A. County Sheriff! Watch out for his ass! Lou was sworn in last night and has fulfilled one of his lifelong dreams!

He said: "My father was a police officer with the New York Police Department, I've always had a high respect for officers. I want to give back to the community, and I want to work with young kids, help them get off drugs."

He started training last September and past a background check. Unfortunately Lou is like deaf and shit so he will only be assigned to duties that will most likely not involve arresting anyone.

The Hulk becomes a Meter Maid?

That sucks.

[SF Gate] [Thanks to JeffC]

Ryan Cabrera Likes Raunchy Bathroom Sex!

From time to time I get funny stories from readers who have a celebrity encounter. This story is about D-List celebrity Ryan Cabrera who likes to call himself a musician, but is mostly known for banging Ashlee Simpson.

Here's the story:

On Friday night, Feb 10th, Ryan Cabrera was in Columbus OH. He, and his posse, went in to Gameworks, which is a large area with a bar and video games to play. Firstly, when entering, he asked for free video game play, which baffles me seeing how he can more than afford something so cheap to begin with. To make a long story short, Ryan drank through the night (very gay foo-foo drinks btw and barely tipped 20% on a tab that was discounted in the first place), which led him to banging this short chick that he brought in with him who had some weird European accent. BEST PART and even dirtier than Britney Spears using the restroom in a gas station barefoot, Ryan was banging this girl on the bathroom floor of the handicap stall in the girls restroom. How disgusting! They were caught by many people, because Friday night is sort of a busy night at a bar. He was escorted out by police but obviously an incident was never officially reported. Kind of funny, when they were doing it, Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" was playing at the bar, talk about ironic.

I must say that Ryan has earned some points in my book. I never pictured him as the midget-banging-in-a-dirty-bathroom-stall kind of dude. This actually impresses me. You know he totally face-fucked Ashlee in the back row of the TomKat Theater in West Hollywood. For those of you that don't know the TomKat, trust me you don't' want to know!

Nobody Killed Chris Penn!

And he didn't overdose. Chris Penn died of a deadly heart condition according to an autopsy report. Apparently, a prescribed cough syrup was also a contributing factor.

Investigators found that Penn died of "nonspecific cardiomyopathy" — a disease of the heart muscle that is usually fatal over time. Penn's heart was enlarged, weak and "could have given out at any time," said coroner's spokesman Craig Harvey. But investigators also found that the effects of multiple medications were a "significant condition" contributing to Penn's death. They highlighted one prescription medication in particular — Phenergan, a commonly prescribed cough syrup that contains an antihistamine but is not typically considered dangerous in adults, according to doctors. Harvey said the cough syrup, which also has codeine in it, played a role in Penn's death, but was "not a direct cause." Penn also had other legal medications in his system, though Phenergan was the only one specifically identified by investigators Monday as a significant factor in the case. No illegal drugs were found, they said.

This way too medical for me to understand or even care. So he basically died of fat disease right?

[L.A. Times] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Katie Holmes is Tom's Coffee Girl!

Katie Holmes is 8-month pregnant, but she's still seen at Peet's Coffee in Los Angeles almost everyday. Her contract probably states she has to get Tom coffee at least twice a day. I can't wait the day that this pillow baby finally pops out. I hope it's first words are "Christian" that will fucking send Tom screaming like the Queen he is!

Colin's Out of Rehab!

*The Photo Agency that owns the rights to these photos have asked me to take them down. ACK!*

Colin Farrell was in rehab for an unspecified amount of time because he's like addicted to pain killers or some shit. Here's we see him doing some shopping this past Sunday in NYC. I know this sound retarded, but he actually looks much cleaner. I doubt he's totally sober...but he looks kind of hot. I'd hit it.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Dear Dlisted Readers,

I wish all of you a very lovely Valentine's Day! I hope your day is filled with love and tenderness. Here's hoping that just for one day our ice-cold hearts can melt just a bit to feel some kind of emotion. Anyway, Happy V-Day to you and yours!

xoxxooxMichael K

The Dlisted Report

Ridley Scott is in talks to direct Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington in American Gangster. The story revolves around a Harlem heroin kingpin who figured out a way to smuggle heroin in the coffins of American soldiers returning from the Vietnam War. The studio hopes to begin filming this summer. [Variety]

Eddie Murphy will star in Starship Dave. The story is about a crew of miniature human-looking aliens who are seeking a way to save their doomed world. No word yet on when filming begins. [Variety]

Norah Jones will make her feature acting debut in Wong Kar-wai's first English-language film called My Blueberry Nights. The film is based on a short film Wong shot in Hong Kong. The story has not been revealed. Shooting begins soon in New York. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

The Ambiguously Gaysian Duo - Gabe


[Thanks to Shell]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sue Johnson from Talk Sex

[For Jackyll]

Birthday Sluts

Freddie Highmore (14)
Rie Rasmussen (28)
Rob Thomas (34)
Simon Pegg (36)
Jules Asner (38)
Meg Tilly (46)
Renee Fleming (47)
James Eckhouse (51)
Alan Parker (62)
Florence Henderson (73)

Vintage Vadge

What the Hell was Yoko Ono Doing at the Olympics!?

I only caught glimpses of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics on Friday night, but what was Yoko Ono doing there?! I just answered my own question by doing a YouTube search! Look at this shit. This dumb bitch is like barely reading this speech about peace. OMG with the white outfit and her stumbling words this is like performance art! Couldn't you memorize this shit Yoko? I know you don't have anything else to do!

Sophia Loren however looks glamorous as ever. I won't rag about her because she is a hot bitch!

Which One is Smarter?

Bjork & Child

Here's Bjork looking hot pushing her daughter through SoHo in Manhattan. This reminded me of the time that she went fucking crazy at some reporter in an airport. The clip is very old, but classic!

Jay-Z Punches a Girl!

I'm not sure where this came from or how old it is, but yes it's Jay-Z punching some chick in the face and then pushing her. Apparently, he didn't like the fact that she took his picture without asking his ass.

Damn, did he really do that shit?! Because this is some serious shit. I'm fucking speechless!

This ain't bootylicious! I hope that if he lays one mean finger on Beyonce, she'll knock him out with her ass of steel.

UPDATE - Thanks to some of you readers for clearing this up. The clip is about 1-2 years old and apparently is some chick he grew up with and paid off is messing around with.

[Thanks Raquel!]

Elizabeth Hurley: Got Milk?

Yeah she's been airbrushed to death, but bitch looks hot for being like 100. This ad debuts in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition on stands tomorrow.

Jordan Doesn't Read Books!

She's just like Posh!

Jordan's book A Whole New World just came out last week in the UK, but it has already sold 66k copies and is the No.1 book in the country. Her previous book Being Jordan is already the fourth best-selling autobiography of all time in the UK. Oh and she's working on a novel to be released this July.

Jordan is a true literary wonder!

When asked about where her inspiration for writing comes, she had this to say: "I don't read books, so there's nothing I can compare it to."

When asked again if she's never ever read a book, her pr rep quickly responded: "She didn't say that. She said she doesn't read books."

She's writing her current novel by dictaphone with a ghost writer. That's hot. Why should her gorgeous nails have to touch a gross keyboard? She's supposed to have it done by the end of this month, but she has no idea what it's about!

'It's about a glamour girl and things. I'm not quite sure yet. She meets lots of footballers. Stuff like that.'



[Pics: ONTD] [Story: The Observer] [Thanks to Kelly C]

Britney Spears Headed for Mardi Gras!

Breakout the Cheetos and the Red Bull, Lousiana's own is coming home to help celebrate Mardi Gras! The celebration held in the hurricane-ravaged New Orleans is set to begin February 18th and continue until February 28th. Britney will appear on Good Morning America the 27th where she will surprise a group of very deserving young individuals.

Brit said: "I am honored to be a part of the Mardi Gras celebration in New Orleans this year,"

"It is so important for this amazing city to continue its annual traditions and I am really looking forward to being involved."

Hasn't New Orleans been through enough! Jesus give them a break!

[Mercury News] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Sienna Miller: The Opposite of Gorgeous

Sienna Miller's seen here promoting that piece of shit movie Casanova in London yesterday. This past weekend I was watching some dumb show on E! or VH1 and someone was talking about how this bitch is the most gorgeous girl in the world. Um...what world would that be? Because she's not even a gorgeous dude! Shit, not even a gorgeous dog!

Tommy Lee After Getting His Ass Kicked!

Last week I wrote about how Tommy Lee got his ass beat down in Detroit by Eminem's posse after dissing Kid Rock. Well, a hot reader sent me this picture of Tommy leaving the club. Damn! I don't know what to make of this, but it scares the shit out of me! The possessed eyes, the bleeding lip, the flared nostrils...ugh...



I'd still hit it though.

[Thanks to MalikAbdul]

Afternoon Crumbs

I am not ready for Ashanti's jelly [Hollywood Tuna]

Brad Pitt shows off Zahara [Just Jared]

Charlie Sheen to start his own children's clothing line [Gabsmash]

Brown and bubbly [Cityrag]

Beyonce gets hate mail over fur [Hollywood Rag]

Madonna is NOT getting a divorce [IDLYITW]

Mandy Moore has a smart staff [Popsugar]

Sienna Miller goes topless for Vanity Fair [Egotastic!]

Flavor of Love Recap Coming Soon!

Unfortunately, there have been some problems with the screen grabs I took. I know Hottie had something to do with it! That red dress is hot. The entire recap will be up tonight or tomorrow. Sorry!

Poor Hottie :(

He Has to Sell Albums Somehow!

Prince is going to extreme measures to sell his latest album 3121 which is due March 21st. He's taking a page from Willy Wonka by placing 7 purple tickets in the packaging of his CD. The receivers of the special tickets will be treated to an intimate concert held at Prince's home.

Don't worry if you download your albums off iTunes...digital tickets are also in the works.

Is Veruca Salt opening for his ass?

[Contact Music] [Thanks to Mel]

Parasite Hilton Should Be On Peta's Most Wanted List!

Seriously, she fucking HATES animals. She says she loves them, but anybody that loves animals doesn't treat them like accessories. Anyway, that stupid cunt must leave her beloved chihuahuas in the US while she travels to the Brit Awards in England. She will miss them so much that she's planning to rent one so she can have something to hold on the red carpet.

A source said: "Paris really misses her chihuahuas when she leaves the States and mentioned she can think of nothing sweeter than hiring one.

"So she has her heart set on a mini long-haired Chihuahua called LouLou and will have her hire him from a specialist dog agency."

If anybody knows LouLou personally or can give him a message for me, tell him that I will personally buy him a bag of delicious Snausages if he promises to maul that slut's face in front of all the photogs!

[Female First]

Kanye West Quote of the Day!

"I think I have a sexual problem, a sexual addiction. I want to do it all the time. My only drug is porn. I have porn with me all the time."

Get That Dick Away From Me!

Don't ever go hunting with Dick Cheney or your ass will be shot! Dick and a 78-year-old pal went hunting and Dick shot his friend! Damn! Don't worry his friend who is going to die soon anyway is in stable condition.

Harry Whittington "rested well last night," said Peter Banko, hospital administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial. The hospital listed Whittington's condition as "very stable," he said.

Whittington, an Austin attorney, was flown to the hospital after Cheney accidentally shot him late Saturday afternoon at the Armstrong Ranch, hitting him with birdshot.

"It's not critical. It's not serious. It's just stable at this time," Banko said at a morning briefing. He said admitting Whittington to the trauma-intensive care unit was "a fairly common procedure" for a patient hit by a spray of the small pellets.

"I don't know how much spray he has got," Banko said. "My understanding from the physicians is that after you get peppered, sometimes they need to do exploratory surgeries if it gets lodged in a little deeper. Sometimes, it's tweezers. I can't really comment on how extensively he was sprayed."

What do these old men have guns anyway?! What I think really happened was some Brokeback Mountain shit! Harry told Dick that he was going to quit him. Dick didn't like that shit and shot his ass! Yeah, rejection is hard Dick but shooting your lover isn't the answer. We'll get through this together. I'll be over after work with Steel Magnolias and some hot cocoa.

[ABC News]

R. Kelly is Fucked Up!

R. Kelly's own brother will release a tell-all DVD that alleges some fucked up things about R. Kelly that we didn't know. Couldn't his brother write a book instead of a DVD? Is he illiterate or some shit? Anyway, here's some details about the allegations:

• R. Kelly has had several affairs with underage chicks including Aaliyah
• R. Kelly molested his own niece
• R. Kelly asked his brother to tell police he was the dude having sex with an underage chick on camera
• R. Kelly showed the underage sex tape to everyone and was proud of it
• R. Kelly beats his wife
• R. Kelly and his wife always have threesomes
• R. Kelly is bi-sexual
• R. Kelly's song Trapped in the Closet is about his life

How does he honestly get away with fucking all these young girls?! I don't understand. He needs to put in a cell with Michael Jackson. They need to stop touching innocent people and touch each other instead. I mean Jacko pretty much looks like a tween girl. I'm sure he has the vagina to go with it too.

[Media Takeout]

Please Give Tara Another Chance!!!!

Tara Reid is begging for us to give her another chance. She's sick of the trash we talk about her and really wants us to focus on better parts of her life. She'll back to us on what those better parts are!

She said: "I work really hard. I don't just party. I work with charities and I'm a huge family girl. I'm with my family every Sunday. I just bought my parents a house on the beach, three houses from mine. I'm sensitive, and I care what people write about me. I don't like that they make me look like an idiot. I'm not an idiot. I'm smart. I'm a lot smarter than people realize.

"I just want to act again. I'm more than they're letting me be. I need a chance. If I get that chance, people will see."

Tara, there's only one thing I have to say to that....PUT A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH!

[Ireland Online] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Jesse Metcalfe Wants to Be Straight Sooo Bad!

It's not working. Here's Jesse trying to work the ladies at some retarded event. Wait, on second thought...those are trannies! Jesse's getting one to step closer to finally coming clean about liking dick!

Gayken to be Sued?!

Clay Aiken might be sued by his fans for completely pulling the wool over their eyes! Clay's second album was due last year, but was put on hold by RCA. The reasons were all the allegations and rumors of Clay being a homo-dom-top. Ewww, I never thought those words would cross each other with Clay Aiken.

A source said: "He represented himself as a heterosexual choirboy,"

"They might want their money back."

That shit would be hotter than hot. Don't fuck with those minivan bitches. They have nothing better to do than sue and threaten people. Clay better come up with something fast! Hey, I got an idea...marry Penny Cruz! She is a pro-beard after all.

[Page Six]

Fishsticks Reveal She's Neither English Nor American!

She's a fucking alien! This makes so much sense. Well, beem that bitch back to whatever planet she came from. I'm thinking Pluto. I don't know why...probably because it's furthest from the sun and bitch's skin is practically transparent. This bitch is seen here leaving a medical center in Los Angeles last week. Don't trust this ho, I know she's working with The Cruise.





[JJB]

A Prairie "Ho" Companion

"Ewww, bitch you got vom breath!" - Meryl to HoHan

Last night in Berlin was the World Premiere of Robert Altman's A Prairie Home companion starring HoHan, Meryl Streep, Woody Harrelson, Lily Tomlin and many more! The film opened up some festival. HoHan was there looking like a wrecked cat and trying to sex it up. Needless to say she failed miserably.

Below HoHan is trying to act like Marilyn Monroe. She's not even Marilyn Manson.



Meryl don't dress fug. I care for you too much to rip you apart. But you belong in a crazy house. HoHan suddenly went Asian by Woody's touch. You know he loves the Asians!



Damn, she's still Asian!



That old man was brought in to investigate HoHan turning Asian.



I swear if she ever throws me the "peace" sign...I will peace that shit right up her tight butthole!

Scott Stapp is an Idiot!

So that stupid Scott Stapp (lead singer of Creed) got married to a former Miss New York last week. Well, a day later that idiot was arrested at LAX because he was a drunken mess. Scott tried to board a plane, but employees wouldn't let him because he was drunk as shit. They said Scott then became aggressive and boisterious so they arrested his ass.

No other information was given.

Damn! I watch Airline I know how they won't let your drunk ass on the plane. It's so fun watching drunks trying to get on a plane. I like when the employee asks "Have you had something to drink?" And the drunk bitch responds "Um...they were giving them to me on the plane! They just kept giving them to me! Shit, what am I supposed to do?!"

Yeah, I agree.

[TMZ]

Own a Piece of Idol History!

Do you want to look up at the same ceiling American Idol's Kelly Clarkson has looked up to night after night? Well now is your chance! Kelly's 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home in Texas is for sale and could be yours! Damn, this home is 3,200 square feet and only $358,000! Damn, Texas is cheap!

She could only afford a $400k house?! American Idol probably gives you the worst contract ever. Honestly, she probably belongs to them for the rest of her life and only sees like 10% of her earnings. Oh well, that's the price I guess.

Oh and that house is fug. Check it out.

[Thanks Jeff]

This Only Happens to Chicks!

Janet Jackson has apparently been told by her record label to skinny up by September or they won't release her album.

A friend close to Janet said: "This new album is supposed to be pretty good, but Virgin feels it can't market it without Janet being back in fighting form, so they have hired her a personal trainer and put her on a diet. She has to lose at least 20 pounds."

Yeah, I like a much skinnier and sexier Janet, but this just doesn't seem fair to me. You don't see them telling Elton John he needs to cut the gut. It's just not right. Let that bitch have her fried chicken and be happy shit!

[Page Six]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH top Tinseltown madam was forced to shut her online operation after angering some dangerous Arab clients? She changed her face with plastic surgery and recently resurfaced in Hollywood with a new name and a new online escort service.

Hollywood madam? It's not Heidi Fleiss so I have no idea!

WHICH movie heartthrob might not be completely straight? Although he has a girlfriend - called by some "the professional beard" - he left Bungalow 8 the other night with a man and took his new pal back to the Mercer. After their quickie session, the hunk told his "date" to "get lost."

Matthew McConaughey

The Dlisted Report

Bernie Mac is in final talks to join Terrence Howard in PDR. PDR, or Philadelphia Department of Recreation, chronicles the real-life story of Jim Ellis (Howard), who in the 1970s transformed a group of troubled inner-city kids into one of the best swim teams in the country. Shooting is set begin this April somewhere on the East Coast. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Lenny Kravitz will make his feature film debut in Iced. Kravitz will star as a musician who falls into a heavy addiction to crack. The film, currently in pre-production, is based on the first novel by Ray Shell. The story follows Kravitz's character from a promising start in his 20s to a descent into drugs in his 30s. [Production Weekly]

Patricia Clarkson has been cast opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart in the remake of the 2001 German film Mostly Martha. Clarkson will play the owner of a restaurant whose beautiful but fragile chef (Zeta-Jones) cooks up a romance with an eccentric sous chef (Eckhart). [Variety]

The Pink Panther was the #1 film this weekend with $21.7 Million. Final Destination 3 scored #2 with $20.1 Million. Curious George brought in $15.3 Million to come in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Not to be out done by the recent face transplant story, Donatella has the head of a young black man attached to her shoulder for her latest show. - Alli

Hot Slut of the Day!

Stacey Dash

Birthday Sluts

Robbie Williams (32)
Prince Michael Jackson (9)
Mena Suvari (27)
Kelly Hu (38)
Henry Rollins (45)
Pernilla August (48)
Peter Gabriel (56)
Stockard Channing (62)
Jerry Springer (62)
George Segal (72)
Kim Novak (73)

I Think This is Love!

Jake Gyllenhaal and actor Austin Nichols look like two good old American boys falling in love at a Lakers game in L.A. last night. Because honestly that's the only place for these two to fall in love. Look at them, Jake is leaning into him like he wants to be held in his arms!



Yeah, they know that we know...



Look at the twinkle in Jake's eye! The guy in the blue cap is even feeling the chemistry between these two. Jake can't wait to take Austin home and ride him like a bitch in heat!



Damn! Jake's totally licking his chops at Austin's hands or blue ring. Both are pretty fey.



Yeah, that's the face Jake is going to be making when he's taking your big white-boy cock Austin!