Why Didn't Someone Push Her Ass?!

Parasite Hilton partied in Sundance last week and almost met her maker! I'm not sure why someone didn't seize the opportunity and push her sorry ass. Anyway, she was partying at W Lounge in Park City when she almost fell to her death!

A source said: "She gave everyone a scare when she nearly fell over the two story balcony."

If Parasite didn't catch herself, she would've fallen nearly 25ft to her icy grave!

Goddamn these people! It would be so easy to finally rid the world of that piece of shit. As Parasite was grappling to return to life, I would've just blown her direction and watch happily as that whore finally got what she deserved!

She must have fucking 9 lives! No! That bitch has definitely signed a deal with the devil!

[Thanks to Infobitch]

Janet Reno the Singer?!?

Please take time out from your Saturday and watch this clip of Janet Reno singing RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. I think that part of her brain doesn't work. It's seriously uncomfortable.

Watch this shit!

[Thanks to Jeff]

Nicole Kidman Pregnant?!

A reader of mine has written me that they believe Nicole Kidman is pregnant. They work closely with her and although Nicky hasn't told them she's knocked up, they told me that she's sporting an uncharacteristic bump and her tits are bigger. There have been several rumors that Nicky is engaged to Keith Urban and even rumors that the two are married. My reader also said that she's been wearing looser fitting blouses to hide something. She's seen here at the UN Conference a few days ago.

It wouldn't surprise me, this bitch can keep a secret! She doesn't strike me as the maternal type though.

Charlize Theron is Beyond Hot

I don't know what it is about this bitch, but she does it for me. Here she is at the New Zealand premiere of North Country. She's literally perfect. She dresses hot and she has a hot body. She's like Angie's hypnotic vagina and I'm Brad Pitt! I'm under her spell!

Garner's Losing the Baby Weight!

She's still boring as shit!

Big Momma is Sexier than Star Jones!

I know you bitches are rushing to the theater to see some Big Momma's House 2! I know this movie's gonna suck, but I just like the pictures of Big Momma running down the beach ala Bo Derek in 10! Star Jones wishes she looked that hot!

Why is Tara Reid Giving $20 to a Dog?!

[Lime-Light]

Hot Sluts of the Day!

The Mommies

Birthday Sluts

Nick Carter (26)
Elijah Wood (25)
Joey Fatone (29)
Mo Rocca (37)
Sarah McLachlan (38)
Alan Alda (70)

Jordan Sings!!!!

On March 5, 2005 Jordan entered the Eurovision Song Contest of 2005 under her real name Katie Price. She sang some jam called "Not Just Anybody." She didn't win that shit, but she came in second. Probably because she sucked every judge off. There are rumors though that Rachel Stevens actually sang the song.

This video is hot shit because it is so apparent she's lip-syncing and not doing a very good job at it! Who cares when you have a body like that?! I wish she would take her top off though, that would've secured her first place!

Viva Jordan!

The Corpse Bride

JLo and her corpse bride are STILL shooting that piece of shit movie El Cantante or whatever that shit is called. They are currently in Puerto Rico wasting their time on what will be the biggest flop of 2006. JLo looks happy to be in a wedding dress, but too bad her man is more pale than the dress!











[Thanks to Ssant] [Smart]

Celebrity Big Brother Ending!!!

Two of my favorite Big Brother houseguests were evicted! Traci Bingham and Pete Burns were voted out of the Celebrity Big Brother house. Currently there are only 2 more houseguests in. Michael Barrymore and "fake" celebrity Chantelle. Chantelle was put in the house to pretend she was a celebrity and see if she could fool everybody else. She is also the frontrunner to win the entire game!

I was hoping the police would be on standby for when Pete Burns left the house.

UPDATE: Chantelle won that shit! Stupid bitch!

Be Bobby Trendy's Friend!

Can you believe Bobby Trendy actually went out looking like this? What is wrong with his ass?! A reader sent me these pics of him going to some event looking like Abba exploded all over his gay ass.

Oh and Bobby needs friends, so head over to his MySpace and get friendly with him!

Meg Ryan and Chinese Baby!

It was a week ago that we learned Meg Ryan had flown to China to buy a baby. Well, here's the precious little girl now. Damn, Meg Ryan has a butterface. I'd hate waking up to that shit.

And I hope that other woman ain't the nanny or that little thing has a world full of fugly!

Afternoon Crumbs

Where in the world has Winona Ryder been? [Glitterati]

Serena Williams shows the crack. [Just Jared]

Jessica Alba is always in Hawaii [WWTDD]

Trent Reznor heart animals [Popbytes]

Thandie Newton: Bond Girl? [Egotastic!]

Nicole Kidman says Talk to the Hand! [Popsugar]

Salma Hayek doesn't want to be skinny. [IDLYITW]

Aaron Spelling has sex?! [Hollywood Rag]

Not an Image I Need in My Head

Shawn Southwick, wife of 72yo Larry King says that they like to get into the wild west in their bedroom. Shawn and Larry married in 1997.

She said: "Larry has this Indian costume that just drives me wild . . . I wear chaps!"

Why did she have to do this to me? I was having a perfectly delightful day and then she had to fudge it up by putting that messed up image into my brain. I hope they make fringed diapers, because I'd hate for him to shit all over his nice Indian costume!

[Page Six]

Wholesome Swimwear!

I've never seen this before in my life. But it's basically wholesome swim outfits for serious Christians and when I say serious, I mean serious. Who wants to go to the bitch wearing a damn dress. They look like they are about to serve me coffee not get their groove on in the ocean.

Here's their description:

WholesomeWear is a modest line of clothing for "wherever." Our WaterWear is the first to be introduced because the need for modesty in swimwear is greatest and the supply is almost non-existant. Swimwear that highlights the face rather than the body includes an undergarment with bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw the eye to the face.

Some of you hot sluts out there seriously need to wear this to the beach to keep the sexiness hidden. I'm gonna send one of these to Parasite Hilton. I'm sick of seeing her bony ass trying to work a thong.

Oh and that's how they spelled "existant." Obviously Christians care more about modesty than spelling!


WholesomeWear

[Thanks to Gabe]

Give Me a Break!

Kanye West can be seen as Jesus Christ on the cover of Rolling Stone. In that very issue Kanye is also dressing up as Muhammad Ali.

Why bother? He looks like a cartoon. Pathetic.

Sneaking Around the Marmont!

Two celebrities have been seen sneaking around the Chateau Marmont to get their groove on. Chestica Simpson was partying with friends when she left them to retreat to Maroon 5's Adam Levine's room for a little action. She didn't appear until early the next morning when she had to call her assistant to come pick her skanky ass up. Chestica has denied ever having relations with the man-whore.



Jude Law has also been seen in and out of the hotel with a stripper that witnesses say is beat down looking.

The source said: "He's been going to the Body Shop strip club every night and hanging out with this nasty young brunette - she is really beat looking."

Maybe that beat down brunette was Chestica in a wig. Seriously, Jude and Ches should hook the fuck up. Both are skanky scabs and I say keep it in the family!


[Page Six]

Ryan Seacrest Quote of the Day!

"I look for a woman who really knows how to put shoes, belts, and purses together."

[Thanks to Ricki Lake]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH babe-loving billionaire has started checking IDs of the young models he invites on his private jet? The randy retail king is nervous that his high-altitude hookups with underage playthings will draw unwanted attention from his more respectable friends.

Ron Burkle

WHICH spurned starlet hired a private investigator to tail her philandering boyfriend all around Hollywood after their painful breakup?

HoHan

WHICH squeaky-clean former soap actor is battling a secret addiction to crystal meth? The hunky star once checked into Passages rehab in Los Angeles in a failed bid to kick the habit.

Josh Duhamel

WTF?!!!!!!!!????

This is NOT Liza Minnelli's FAG-X David Gest and rapper Da Brat kissing. Is there something going on in the universe that we don't know of. This is the MOST FUCKED UP couple I have ever seen in my life. This is just not even right. I can't even stand for this. I honestly don't know what to say. This must be a joke. I thought Da Brat wanted a rough neck not a fucking rainbow neck! I thought I liked that bitch....now I just don't know what to think. Don't tell me she's that hard up for publicity that she'll sleep with that!?!

I gotta go say some Hail Mary's or something!

Parasite BANNED from Sundance Event

Posters of America's favorite whore were plastered all over Park City, UT publicly banning her from all Filmpunks parties.

Yeah, I'm sure like she cares. She probably thinks it's cute that her picture is all over the place. I think she can barely read. So ignorance is bliss!

CLAYMANIACS are Out for Blood!

Clay Aiken has some fucked up fans! John Paulus alleged that he had sex with the American Idol favorite. John's name was leaked onto the internet when he told The National Enquirer of his steamy affair with Clay.

Clay's fans are fighting mad and have sent John several death threats and has plagued him with constant harassment.

A friend of John's said: "He is getting death threats from Clay's fans,"
"After his name was leaked on a couple of gossip Web sites, he's been getting threats. But he's also gotten calls from gay porn directors who want to cast him in a movie, kind of what happened after John Wayne Bobbitt got famous."

Paulus, 38, passed a polygraph test administered by the Enquirer in an attempt to corroborate his bombshell claim that he had sex with Aiken at a Quality Inn in Garner, N.C., on Jan. 2. In the new Enquirer, Paulus claims he and Aiken had 90 minutes of man-on-man passion at the hotel, which is near Aiken's hometown of Raleigh, N.C.

The muscle-bound ex-soldier says Aiken contacted him after seeing his picture on the Internet : "I have several personal ads on gay men Web sites," he told the Enquirer. "Clay later told me he saw my pictures on a couple and decided to e-mail me. On Dec. 16, using the screen name of 'valleyprettyboy,' Clay sent me his first message.

"He wrote, 'Hey man, [I] see you're online. I'm 26 years old from Raleigh and would love to talk. I have pics but I have a very recognizable face and I can't post the pics. I would be happy to send them to you if you can promise absolute discretion."

Paulus added that in later e-mails, Aiken "told me that he had just come out of the closet to his mother and a few close friends last year. He told me that he was single again, having broken up with his boyfriend about five months ago."

Who knew that Claymaniacs were fucking that dangerous? What are they going to do? Run over him with their mini-vans? Suffocate him with Zip-loc bags or worse...they are going to play Clay's music over and over. That's enough to send someone into a dangerous seizure!

[Page Six]

Jane Mancini Gets Divorced!

Jane Mancini aka Josie Bissett is asking her husband of 13 years, fellow Melrose Place cast member Rob Estes for a divorce. Rob has moved out of the couple's home in Seattle. Rob told a group of reporters that the divorce was not his choice nor his decision.

Bissett and Estes met in 1991 during a casting call for a TV movie and married May 1, 1992. The same year, Bissett joined the original cast of Melrose Place, a spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210 featuring the trials and tribulations of bed-hopping twentysomethings in a Hollywood apartment complex. Bissett starred as Jane Andrews Mancini, long suffering wife to Dr. Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro).

In 1996, Estes also joined the ensemble; when Bissett became pregnant later that year, she temporarily left the show. She returned in 1998 after suffering a miscarriage and remained with Melrose Place through its series finale in 1999.

Estes and Bissett welcomed their first child, son Mason True, on July 21, 1999. Their second child, daughter Maya Rose, was born Apr. 14, 2002.

I know that bitch Sydney had something to do with this!

[E! Online]

I Like Pottery Barn Y'all!

Britney Spears, her mom, her son, her interior designer and her bodyguard did some shopping at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood. I didn't know they carry tables with fairies on them there? I can only imagine what her decorating style is.

I'm Tired Just By Watching Her Travel!

Angelina Jolie attends the World Economic Forum in Switzerland. Wasn't she just in London and then New York and then L.A. and then who knows. Damn, she's racking up those frequent flier miles! Does her hair always look kind of weird to you? Is it greasy? It just doesn't sit right. Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous but bitch could use a conditioning treatment or some shit. I'm sure Bradley would love to wash his master's hair.

Joaquin Phoenix in Car Crash!

Joaquin Phoenix's brakes suddenly went out when he was driving above the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. His car overturned and slammed into another car. Thankfully, Joaquin walked away unharmed as did others involved in the accident.

The Golden Globe-winning actor, 31, was driving eastbound on Lookout Mountain Avenue near Laurel Canyon at about 2:50 p.m. when he realized his brakes were not working, said police spokesman Officer Jason Lee.

Phoenix lost control of his car, which flipped over and collided with another vehicle also headed in the same direction, Lee said. Both parties exchanged information, and no police report was filed.

Joaquin's spokeswhore confirms the accident. She also stated he was wearing a seat belt and is fine. He's too hot to die.

[People]

Which Famous Pinup are You?

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

TGIF!!!

The Dlisted Report

Robin Williams will play Theodore Roosevelt in Night at the Museum. Ben Stiller will headline the film. Directed by Shawn Levy, the big-budget, live-action/CG comedy centers on a night watchman (Stiller) at a museum of natural history who discovers that its many exhibits awaken at night under the spell of a pharaoh's tablet. The exhibit of President Roosevelt, who founded the American Museum of Natural History in New York, is one of those that comes to life. Mickey Rooney, Carla Gugino and Dick Van Dyke also star with shooting to begin this next month in Vancouver. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The Squid and the Whale director Noah Baumbach will direct an untitled drama-comedy to star Nicole Kidman and his wife Jennifer Jason Leigh. Although details are being kept under wraps, the film will be another multigenerational story that takes place over a weekend and follows a mom and her son who visit the mom's sister. Kidman and Leigh will play sisters. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Napoleon Dynamite himself Jon Heder will play a skinny American competing as a sumo wrestler. The story is based on a Joshua Davis' GQ report ("Supersize Me: The Hard-Won Wisdom of a 134-Pound Sumo Warrior") about becoming the lightest man ever to compete at the U.S. Sumo Open two years ago. Davis included that episode along with excursions into bullfighting, arm wrestling, backward running and sauna in his book "The Underdog: How I Survived the World's Most Outlandish Competitions." [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

after the failure of the next installment of the "where's waldo" books, publishers opt for "where's mariah?" - hambone

[Thanks to JP]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Amelia Bedelia

[For Lemure]

Birthday Sluts

Alan Cumming (41)
Rosamund Pike (27)
Bridget Fonda (42)
Mimi Rogers (50)
Mikhail Barshnikov (58)
James Cromwell (66)

Courtney Love & Brett Ratner

Courtney Love went to Mr. Chow's last night with director Brett Ratner. Could they be an item? Brett isnt too picky. He did date Serena Williams after all. I hope Courtney finds love! She needs money too and he has it.

That dress is still beyond fug, but at least she's trying. Leave her alone, she's broke! That dress is probably from 1991!

Finally The Rhonetta Johnson Video!

This is the most amazing thing you will ever see!

[Thanks to Missy]

Jada...Jada..Jada...

You are not a rock star! You are a rock mess? Have you ever seen her band Wicked Wisdom perform? I honestly don't know what to make of it. Some of it is performance art and the other is just a seriously messy plane crash. They were on Letterman last night and several readers say it was GOD AWFUL. I mean come on....she's an actress not a rock star! She needs to put this dream to rest and stick with being Will Smith's wife!

Jordan Quote of the Day!

On her rival Posh Beckham's denim line:

“They are meant to make your bum look good bit I just think it’s a bit crummy and I don’t see they work. They’re too low slung for a start.”

“I can only imagine what the other stuff is like she’s meant to be bringing out…and I bet it’ll be overpriced. Now I’ve put loads of thought into my fashion range…and I know what women want.”

Brokeback Top Gun

[Thanks to Gabe]

HoHan is So Stupid.....

HoHan needs the word "breathe" tattooed on her wrist to remind her ass to actually breathe. HoHan had the word embedded into her wrist to remind her of the terrifying asthma attack that almost killed her.

A friend said: "It obviously has a double meaning.

"It's about the asthma attack, but also a reminder to just slow down and enjoy life."

Does she have to be so literal?

[Female First] [Thanks to Albz]

Does This Bitch Always Need Something to Suck On?

Afternoon Crumbs

Parasite and Nicky infect Disneyland. [Hollywood Rag]

Ambassador Jolie and Wife [Just Jared]

Julia Roberts does not know how to pick out jeans. [Popsugar]

Britney had bad fish. [Gabsmash]

Nicole Kidman is the next UN celebrity. [Jossip]

What the hell are these idiots running for? [Cityrag]

Sharon Stone sluts it up in Basic Instinct 2. [Egotastic!]

Page Six: The Magazine [A Socialite's Life]

Kiss His Career Goodbye!

I haven't really written on this, but in the past few weeks there has been controversy surrounding James Frey's best-selling memoir A Million Little Pieces. Basically the thing was pretty much made up and James was called on it. James' book was published in 2003 and only achieved average sales, but when Oprah featured his memoir in her book of the month club last September sales soared! Today James was on her show again, but this time the situation was a bit different.

Oprah told him: "It is difficult for me to talk to you because I really feel duped ... but more importantly I feel that you betrayed millions of readers,"

The high of the book's commercial success came to a crashing end on Jan. 8, however, when the Smoking Gun Web site published a report about Frey's accounts, saying that the author embellished, and even invented, some of his material.

In a surprise call into Larry King Live while Frey was a guest, Winfrey called the criticism "much ado about nothing," and said: "What is relevant is that he was a drug addict ... and stepped out of that history to be the man he is today and to take that message to save other people and allow them to save themselves."

Oprah now regrets making the call to Larry King. She said: "I left the impression that the truth is not important,"

James has confirmed he did embellish certain parts of the book, but claims the changes were only minor.

Now that he's pissed off Oprah, expect this fool to never be heard from again.

[People]

That Dog is Thinking.."What a Fag"

Jake Gyllenhaal and Sophia Bush met up the other day at a Malibu dog park. That's Jake's dog Atticus. Sophia recently ended her short marriage to Chad Michael Murray. Jake and Sophia starred in The Day After Tomorrow together.

Atticus is like "Please, don't try to act like you like her. I've seen your mouth munching on a dude's butthole like it was gonna be extinct!"

The King and Queen of Bad-Skin!!!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have won a contest! But this contest was to determine which celebrities have the most disgusting skin. It looks like our favorite duo have won the titles! Dermatologist Vail Reese gave the two their titles after going over hundreds of celebrity skin.

He said: "Brad has acne and acne scars, while Angelina also suffers from acne and she also has moles and a scar on her face.

"She's also covered in tattoos, of course, so that always tops my list."

Other losers of the "Skinnie Awards" include Katie Holmes and that nasty cold sore and Phillip Seymour Hoffman for his pale skin.

These awards suck! Where the hell is Cameron Diaz and Britney Spears?! Their skin looks like it was ordered from Domino's!

[The Skinnie Awards]

Keep This Scab Locked Up For Life Already!

Pete Doherty was arrested for the 1,234,567,890th time in London early this morning. Why don't you take a wild guess on what he was arrested for? That's right! For driving around with drugs. He's honestly asking to be locked away forever and ever!

Pete Doherty was arrested in the early hours of this morning on suspicion of possessing Class A drugs (January 26).

The Babyshambles singer was driving around the E2 area of London when he was pulled over by police at 5.40am.

A spokesperson from the Metropolitan Police told NME.COM: "Officers stopped a vehicle in Laburnum Street, E2, due to the erratic manner in which in was being driven. Substances were recovered from the driver, a 26 year-old male, who was arrested for alleged possession of Class A drugs. He was taken to an east London police station where he remains in custody."

Get this shit..they released him on bail. They are on crack themselves! Maybe Petey has a secret lover in jail and that's the only way he can see him! Seriously, they need to put him in a cell and build a brick wall around the door!

[NME] [Thanks to Superview]

Fishsticks Having a Boy!

According to friends, Fishsticks Paltrow is having a baby boy! She told reporters that she did know the sex of the baby, but was only telling close friends and family and nobody else! Because you know...we care so much?

There have been reports that she had planned to name the baby Capone, but an EXCLUSIVE Dlisted source claims the baby's name will be Gorton!

[Female First]

Jennifer Aniston to Tell-All?

Jennifer Aniston evidentially kept a detailed journal during her 4-year marriage to Brad Pitt including the break-up that shook the world. Friends of Jennifer are pushing her to publish her memoirs to finally tell her side of the story. Um..hasn't she told us enough? Her man basically left her for a hotter woman.

A source said: "She has all the material she needs to write a great best seller: the story of a nice girl who loses the love of her life to a femme fatale,"

"“Really dishing the dirt on Brad and Angelina would put Jen back in the driver's seat."

I can say that if she needs dough that's the way to do it. I can only imagine what some money-hungry publishing house would offer her ass. But I bet you if Jennifer puts out a book, Angelina will put out a book of self-nudes the same week Jen's book comes out.

[National Ledger]

Snaggle Tooth Madge

No, that's not Courtney Love! It's Madge!!! Oh hell no. Did Lourdes beat her with the old stick? I think it's time for a touch-up and shampoo, you old English lady! At least she's wearing sunglasses, who knows what's underneath that!

[Drudge Report] [Thanks to Mary and Pamboy]

Is Sushi Fattening?

[click on image to enlarge]

Janet Jackson is leaving a sushi lunch with a friend. At least it's not a fried chicken joint. Sushi is pretty much low-fat right? Janet get your shit vacuumed already, I'm sick of seeing you in sweats!



[JJB]

Keifer Sutherland is a WRECK!

Somebody please help that bitch out. He needs our help or he's going to choke on his own vomit. Keifer Sutherland shocked employees at the Ye Rustic Inn in Los Angeles when he strolled in at 9am and demanded to have a running tab set-up. But at least he wasn't alone. Keifer and pals went into the dive bar and created quite the scene.

When it came time to pay the bill, Keifer seemed to have forgotten his wallet.

He told the bartender: "It's been stolen! I promise I'll come back and pay."

Several witnesses claim that's when things starting to get a little fucked up.

"He started to go into a series of karate kicks in the middle of the floor while the bartender, waitress and several customers looked on,"

Thankfully, a fan agreed to pick up the tab. Keifer then continued to booze and eat chicken wings while throwing already eaten bones on the ground. He left without tipping. People say that he looks dreadfully skinny and sick.

I feel bad for his ass. Can't Julia help him out? She owes his ass after leaving him at the alter!

[Page Six]

Angelina Jolie's Teenage Photo Shoot!

Hmmm...teenage photo shoots are always so sleazy to me! This looks so homemade. You know she disrobed for this shit.

[Oh No They Didn't]

Adrian Likes the Toys

Adrian Grenier was seen with two chicks from the website Double Agent in Sundance. The three were browsing sex goodies at the Booty Suite in Canyons Hotel. A source said that the three picked up a few things and made a quick getaway!

"Adrian grabbed the bonding tape, vibrating couples ring, and the beaded blindfold and left with the two girls. One of the girls came back [yesterday] and said they had put the toys to good use that night and had a threesome."

What the hell is bonding tape? Is that like handcuffs? Fuck, that shit must hurt coming off. I never pegged Adrian for the kinky type. I always saw him as sort of square.

[Page Six]

JLo Was on Leno?!

I guess one of my favorites, JLo was on Leno the other night and I totally missed it! Looks like I missed her wearing one of the fugliest dresses she's ever made. Did she just wake up that morning and decide she was going to try and look as nasty as possible. Her make-up looks like it was done by a heroin addict and that dress was stolen from curtains of a Spanish Harlem apartment. That ain't right, now someone doesn't have curtains because of that selfish ho!

Chestica Leaves Hotel!

Chestica Simpson is seen her leaving Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles early yesterday morning after spending the evening with a mysterious man! Maybe that's his shirt she's wearing. The look on her face is disgusting. I think she has cum breath.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

"Knowing that there would be so many frigid bitches in the room, Paul brought a blanket." - M

The Dlisted Report

Production was halted completely on Toy Story 3. The reason may be Disney's acquisition of Pixar. The film was expected to open in 2008. [Coming Soon]

Warner Bros. has hired Pride & Prejudice director Joe Wright to helm a remake of the 1944 thriller Gaslight. The film revolves around a woman whose suitor has designs on her money, and after luring her to a house of horrors, he methodically tries to convince her she is insane. The new film will take place in California. [Variety]

Lauren Ambrose of Six Feet Under fame will star in indie-drama Starting Out in the Evening. She will join Adrian Lester and Frank Langhella. The project follows a writer whose world is shaken when an ambitious graduate student convinces him that she can use her thesis to bring him back into the lit world spotlight. Shooting begins next month. [Variety]

Jamie Foxx is currently developing a reality show that plans to rebuild a fallen rock star. The premise will involve taking a once famous rock star and overhauling him completely and putting on a concert where he performs his biggest hits. Foxx is currently shopping the series around to networks. [Reality Blurred]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mary Carey

Birthday Sluts

Eddie Van Halen (51)
Cameron Bright (13)
Sara Rue (27)
Kirk Franklin (36)
Wayne Gretzky (45)
Anita Baker (48)
Ellen Degeneres (48)
Lucinda Williams (53)
David Strathaim (57)
Paul Newman (81)

Special Birthday Shout Out to Markus!!!

Jake & His Pooch!

Here's some rather boring pics of Jake Gyllenhaal walking his dog around town and then throwing a football around. I know how you bitches love his ass, so here you go. Happy Birthday! His dog totally does it for me though.

Brangelina Having a Girl!

According to Life & Style Magazine:

BREAKING NEWS FROM Life & Style

Brad & Angie: It's a girl!

WHO LET SLIP
ONE OF THE MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRETS IN HOLLYWOOD?

ONLY Life & Style EDITORS ARE AVAILABLE TO DISCUSS:
- Where and when "the slip" happened
- Changing their lives for their daughter.
- Intent on raising their kids normally.

PLUS.
- WHO SAID IT? "There are some adoptions happening in the family."
- Why Angie's Brad's perfect match - and Jen never was.
- From awkward to ecstatic! Now that the secret's out, Brad & Angie finally look comfortable together.

How do they know this shit? I guess the name William is out of the question. I'm still hoping for the name Jennifer.

UPDATE - According to US Weekly, it's a fucking boy. Does that mean it's going to be a hermaphrodite? Yeah I think so. Just like Jamie Lee Curtis!

Hilary is Such a Good Little Sister!

I wish my sister would carry me around in a beautiful, blanket like that. I'd never have to walk. Hilary Duff is seriously the nicest sister in the world. Haylie looks a little scared of Hilary's horse-teeth, but overall she seems happy since she doesn't have to walk!

God, I'm so mean. That did poor pooch is a gazillion times hotter than Haylie Duff!

Two Purses?

When I was a kid, I used to grab my tongue and say "I love your purse" but it would come out sounding like "I like your puss." That shit would make my ass laugh. Anyway, back to the material at hand. What does Nicole Richie need with two very expensive bags? Is the crack pipe that big that you need an extra bag for it? Oh and I'd do the dude she's with.

Confessions from a Crackwhore

Kate Moss will get $1.8 Million by Richard Branson to spill her guts out in a tell-all autobiography.

Moss, 31, will reputedly use the memoir to, among other things, set the record straight about her current problems, which began last September, when she was photographed allegedly doing drugs while at a recording studio with then-boyfriend Pete Doherty.

Who wants a book from her? Yes, I love her...but it's not time. Her book will go something like: "I'm Kate Moss, I am famous, I am a model, I like putting coke in my nose, I like putting dicks in my pussy, The End!"

[People]

Afternoon Crumbs

Avril Lavigne is becoming hot! [Hollywood Tuna]

Brad and Madge are BFFs! [Just Jared]

Tyra Banks sucked enough dick to get her show picked up for another season. [Hollywood Rag]

Is Pamela Anderson a gold digger? [IDLYITW]

Read Michael K get his interview on. [Manhattan Offender]

Jesus hates The Book of Daniel [Totally Joshness]

Dakota Fanning is like 40. [The Deli]

Evangeline Lilly and that midget-dude are engaged. Woohoo! [Egotastic!]

GUILTY!!!!!!

Bitch got caught!!!

Richard Hatch, the "fat naked guy" who won $1 million in the debut season of the reality show "Survivor," was found guilty Wednesday of failing to pay taxes on his winnings.

Hatch was also convicted of evading taxes on $327,000 he earned as co- host of a Boston radio show and $28,000 in rent on property he owned. But he was acquitted of seven bank, mail and wire fraud charges. Jurors deliberated for less than a day after more than a week of testimony.

Hatch, 44, of Newport, faces up to 13 years in prison and a fine of $600,000.

One possible explanation for Hatch's failure to pay taxes was raised by his lawyer toward the end of the trial but was never mentioned in the jury's presence.

Hatch's lawyer, Michael Minns, said Hatch caught fellow contestants cheating and struck a deal with producers for the show to pay his taxes if he won. But, ultimately, Hatch was never asked about the allegation when he testified.

Poor thing, lied and cried to try and get out of it but in the end that naked pig got what he deserved! I wonder what Sue Hawk thinks of all of this? She probably thinks he's very manipoolative or whatever she said.

[Breitbart] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Causing a Commotion!

I've got the moves baby, you've got the motion, we come together we'd be causing a commotion!

Proper English Lady, Madonna made an apperance at the Gaultier show in Paris earlier today. Apparently, everyone went ape-shit trying to get close to her majesty! Click on the link below to see a much hotter Madonna when she shocked bitches at a Gaultier show. Bitch is past her prime. She was so hot then.


Click here to see NSFW pic!


[Thanks to Youri]

Sienna Will Fuck Anyone

Someone let a bitch know. Is Hayden Christensen a fag or no? I get conflicting reports. Anyway, Hayden is in Louisiana filming Factory Girl with Sienna Miller. There have been plenty of rumors that the two are more than friends. I mean, if he's a fag they could just be exchanging beauty secrets. Speaking of which, Sienna needs some. Damn she looks fug. Why do men love her ass? She has two vaginas I've decided.

Jacko in Drag!

The Queen of Nutjobs: Michael Jackson, was seen shopping at a mall in Bahrain with his two children. Jacko hid himself with a veil and a traditional robe worn by women in the Gulf. Jacko was also escorted by an unidentified woman.

The woman— also dressed in the black robe called an abaya, jeans and a scarf that partially covered her face, had the two other children. All three children were wrapped in black scarves and wore yellow shirts and sweatpants or khakis without robes.

Since his June acquittal on child molestation charges in California, Jackson has made several trips to Bahrain as a guest of Sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. He reportedly was negotiating a position as a consultant with a Bahrain-based company that plans to set up theme parks and music academies in the Middle East.

On the mall outing, Jackson wore an abaya, pants, a white shirt and men's shoes. His head and face were wrapped in a black veil and he also wore black gloves.

The veil, abaya and gloves were of a style typically worn by conservative Bahraini women.

The woman asked photographers to respect their privacy and told them they were scaring the children before they left in a white car with darkened windows.

Maybe that woman was La Toya!? I honestly don't know what to say with his ass anymore. Bitch is honestly insane and nobody around him seems to care. But maybe now that he's wearing clothes worn by Middle Eastern women he'll actually darken his skin to go with his new look. Bitch needs a mytic.

[Oh No They Didn't]

Rhonetta Johnson is a STAR!

Did anybody catch this bitch on American Idol last night? Paula Abdul better watch it, because Rhonetta Johnson has a criminal past. Those that didn't catch it, I'm waiting for video on it. But, basically that bitch went off on Paula Abdul calling her old (she is), washed up (she is) and then some. And the WIG, don't get me started on the wig. Somebody needs to hook Rhonetta up with Hottie from Flavor of Love, because both bitches are crazy. They think they are the shit when they are really just shit!

To see all of Rhonetta's crimes, click here and type in Johnson, Rhonetta. She has also has some gorgeous headshots on there!



UPDATE - Click here to see a small clip of this bitch on AI! [Thanks Eileen]

[Thanks to StacyCRo]

Bai Ling Quote of the Day!

"In my past life I was a Chihuahua - that is how I got my animal instinct!"

[Thanks to DobryDen]

Kiki is a Humanitarian!

Lookout Angelina Jolie, there's a new celebrity humanitarian and she comes disguised as a bag lady. It's Kiki Dunst! When I first saw these pics at lime-light, the person that posted them wrote how Kiki was doing a good deed.

Bitch is just opening the door for a lady in a wheelchair at SAKS Fifth Avenue! That isn't a good deed, that's normal! But you know that homely heffer totally rolled her eyes and thought that lady was gross.





[Lime-Light]

I LOVE Posh Beckham

There are times when I'm not very fond of Posh and there are times that I absolutely adore her. Well, this interview with these two kids makes me adore her. Probably, because she has the same IQ as them. Actually, they probably have a much higher IQ. She's probably a really good mother. AHAHAH, ok even that one got me laughing! That was a good one!



[Thanks to Courtney]

Kathleen Can't Handle the Magic!

Screen-Goddess Kathleen Turner confessed that she tried smoking grass to cure her arthritic pains. Yeah, haven't we all. Kathleen has been in pain for 10 years so was desperate to try something new. Unfortunately, it didn't too much to ease her pain.

She said: "I also tried pot just recently because people say it takes away the pain, too, but all it did was make me dumb and silly, so I didn't try that again."

Bitch isn't smoking the right shit. But, I'm with her...everytime I smoke that shit I end up laughing like a fucking hyena and that just isn't going to fly.

[Contact Music]

If You're Black You Can Get Away With Anything!

Reader Jeff wrote to me this morning that Howard Stern went off on his Sirirus radio show about Rolling Stone putting Kanye West on its cover as Jesus. Howard said that Rolling Stone refused to put him on their cover as Jesus in 1997. He thinks that RS refused to because Howard is a white Jew and that basically blacks can get away with anything!

Damn, someone's mad. Shit Howard, it's just a stupid magazine cover! It's not that serioues. Besides, Kanye can do anything...isn't that what he said?

[Thanks to Jeff]

Gwen Stefani is Getting Fat!!!

Look at that gut she's showing off! It's disgusting! Get into a fucking gym! Just kidding, I know this one is knocked up. It seems that everyone in Hollywood is having kids. It's so trendy! Anyway, Gwen is looking kinda hot in a messy way. Hey, she's herself...even if herself is a reggae bag lady.

David Hasselhoff makes beautiful music

by Lahoma00




David Hasselhoff is a truly brilliant artist. His musical renderings are prolific, an amalgam of dulcet tones that are as precious as a newborn kitting meowing in a dew covered field.

Not really. He sucks, but he makes a hot video.



David did a remake of "Hooked on a Feeling" a few years ago that was big in Germany (where else?). This is seriously some of the weirdest shit I've ever seen. It should be in MOMA or something, because it's so fucking bad it's avant garde. My favorite part is when David flies through the air with two angel children.

[Watch this piece of shit!]

GLITCH

Hey!

I'm having a problem with my server, so some elements are the site are going to look fucked up. I'm working on it and things will be back to normal very shortly!

Thanks You!

xoxoxoMichaelk

Stupid Girls

Yesterday, I had a link to Pink's new video Stupid Girls and some of you were having trouble with it. Here's a new link to it for those of you that haven't seen it. It's hot, I'm digging it. The video that is, the song kinda sucks.



[Thanks to Gabi]

OMG Tara Reid Doesn't Look Drunk?!

But the thing is she's heading into Teddy's in Hollywood NOT out of it. I'm sure she looks fucked up as hell once pictures of her leaving the joint surface. Fuck, anybody can go into a bar sober. Bitch is still probably tanked on the inside.

And You Say He's Just a Friend!

Nicole Kidman insists that she is NOT engaged to Keith Urban and the two are simply just friends. The two have been dating since July and Nicky continues to deny that they are an item. Please, you don't gotta lie to us.

Nicole's spokeswhore said: "Clearly they are enjoy a nice friendship together. But Nicole's personal life is her personal life and I have no further knowledge of their friendship."

Yeah, a friendship that involves jizz-drinking and dick-riding. Come to think of it, yeah that's a friendship.

[Female First]

I Bet They Have a Lot of Frequent Flier Miles!

Brangelina are seen here leaving London after only staying there for one night. They are now in Switzerland. Maddox and Zahara are nowhere in sight. Yeah they look happy, blah...blah..blah..

They totally border on annoying!













[JJB]

Kate VS Sienna

Kate Moss is said to be sick and tired of that scab Sienna Miller taking her magazine jobs and style. Kate once said that she wasn't bothered with Sienna taking fashion tips from her. But friends of the supermodel say that Kate is furious that Sienna is getting modeling gigs left and right.

A source said: "She was loudly saying Sienna was not a professional model and she should be getting front covers - not an actress. Sienna is a real threat because she is younger - and has kept her nose clean. But Kate is not ready to give up her throne."

"She also said how she thought Sienna's stab at celebrity has failed. Kate said, 'Sienna has blown it now - she's had her last chance. But she was never one of us anyhow'."

It's a BoHo catfight! Team Kate!

[Female First]

R.I.P. Chris Penn

Chris Penn, brother of Sean Penn was found dead at the age of 40 in his Santa Monica condo yesterday. No word yet on the caue of death.

Sean's rep issued this statement: "the Penn family would appreciate the media's respect of their privacy during this difficult time."

[Yahoo News]

The Dlisted Report

Amber Tamblyn will star in The Grudge 2 for director Takashi Shimizu. Tamblyn will play the younger sister of Sarah Michelle Gellar, who returns long enough to pass on the movie's supernatural curse. The sequel delves into the secrets behind the grudge's wrath and introduces a seemingly unrelated host of new characters who find themselves connected by the curse. Shooting will again take place in Tokyo. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Adam Goldberg will join Denzel Washington and Jim Caviezel in Deja Vu for director Tony Scott. The Touchstone Pictures release centers on an FBI agent (Washington) who travels back in time to save a woman from a murder and falls in love with her in the process. Shooting begins next month in New Orleans. [The Hollywood Reporter]

New Line Cinema will develop a feature-length film based on the story of the Virgin Mary called Nativity. The script covers the two-year period of Mary and Joseph's life, culminating in their leaving Nazareth and journeying 100 miles to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus. The story's aimed at fleshing out key characters such as King Herod; John the Baptist's parents, Zachariah and Elizabeth; the shepherds who were witness to Jesus' birth; and the arrival of the three kings from the Orient. Mike Rich is currently writing the script. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

In an effort to grab more breasts of unsuspecting women, Isaac Mizrahi disguises himself as a clown. - Blahz

[Thanks to Jeff]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Erin Moran

Birthday Sluts

Alicia Keys (25)
Mira Kirshner (31)
Dinah Manoff (48)
Jenifer Lewis (49)

Brangelina Bump Watch!

Angie Jolie, Bradley Pitt and family arrived in London to probably save the world as usual. Angie was sporting a new bump with a tattoo that translates to "Oooh, I fucked your boyfriend I fucked your man!"

Actually I have no idea what that says!

Do People Actually Care?!

I even forgot she was pregnant! Do people care enough to make this a "report"? That's so important sounding. I usually care about everything including things like what color Jordan's shits are. But I don't care about this. Sigh.

If you do...click here

Star Jones Keeps Digging Her Own Grave!

Somebody wrote me this earlier and I guess they also wrote Defamer, because they have that shit up.

10:43. I'’m watching "The View"’ for unknown reasons, and the ladies have a private investigator on. He'’s selling an eighty dollar kit that allows you to find out if your spouse is cheating on you without hiring his services. He brings in blue gym shorts that were sent to him from a suspecting wife, and he'’s going to ultraviolet test them on-air to determine if there are bodily fluids. The investigator finds a glowy spot and says, "“Now you see that? That'’s something that really shouldn'’t be there." Meredith says wait, hey, he can'’t tell if it'’s a woman's bodily fluids or a man'’s, though, and then Star jumps in. Direct quote: "“Well there's a huge difference between vaginal and seminal fluid. Seminal fluid I can handle if you're my husband. Vaginal fluid…I got issues."

Does this stupid hag actually think before she speaks? One minute she's telling us that her husband is no fag and doesn't like dudes. The next minute she's saying that she's totally fine with dick juice all over her man's undies.

I guess Star is fine with other dudes leaving their jizz on her hubby, but Star better be the only female (and I use the term loosely) shooting jizz on her man.

Ewww, I bet you Star-Jizz is like curdled milk.

P.S. - Isn't that pic the best?! Which is the dude?

[Thanks to Eric]

Marlon Brando With a Dick in His Mouth!

Earlier today I wrote about a book being published which details Marlon Brando's sexual adventures with other dudes including Cary Grant and Rock Hudson. The author also promised a "tasteful" photo of Marlon engaging in oral sex. This may or may not be the tasteful photo in question, but it does look like Marlon with a mouthful!

And that dick doesn't look like Cary or Rock's! Sammy Davis Jr. maybe!

[Thanks to Crystal and Christine]


Click here to see the rest!

Richie and Daddy Go Shopping!

[click on image to enlarge]

I do love me some Nicole Richie! Yes, she might look like a major crackhead, but she is hot. She's seen her with daddy dropping some cash at Maxfield's in West Hollywood. Do they sell baby clothes? Seriously, does she have to get clothes altered...because you know they don't make a size -5. She should probably do more shopping at OshKosh.

Marguerite Perrin is a Rap Star!

Yeah, this bitch is stretching her 15-Minutes by putting out a seriously awful rap single. It's so fucking awful. You can listen to a clip of it on her official website by clicking here. Don't get me wrong, I love her ass...but it's her time to go now. Let bitches like Hottie from Flavor of Love get their time in. Marguerite can go back to eating ho-hos or whatever it is she does. And please don't buy this shit, the clip is enough. It's actually going to give me nightmares.

Yup, fame is fleeting as is my loyalty to celebs.

[Thanks to Melissa] [Marguerite Perrin's Official Site] [Amazon]

Sheryl Crow Quote of the Day

On Kelly Clarkson:

"I think there will hopefully be a paradigm shift. And as the
world becomes more chaotic, it's going to become more difficult to listen to
what a 19-year-old has to say about the world."

[Thanks to Rich]

Afternoon Crumbs

Savage Chunk [FourFour]

Katie Holmes' nude scene vanishes mysteriously [Egotastic!]

Gabsmash's Hot Men of the Olympics [Gabsmash]

Kate Moss is set to tell her cocaine adventures in a new book! [Hollywood Rag]

Watch Pink's Stupid Girls video [Bricks and Stones]

Bush hasn't seen Brokeback Mountain [Just Jared]

Chestica heads back to TV again! [Smart]

Jennifer Aniston is on the run! [Cityrag]

Kidman and Urban are NOT dunzo! [Popsugar]

Everyone's mad at Idol! [TMZ]

Parasite Gave This Up!

I bet you she's kicking herself! Actually, she's probably still screwing him. Anyway, he's so hardcore. Is he rapping now too? Maybe he went to the KFed School of Losers?

Bai Ling MUST BE President!

And here are my reasons:

Anybody that wears this to Sundance deserves to run this country...



Anybody that makes Parasite Hilton look like Miss Prude should run this country....



Anybody that embraces their culture like this should run this country...



Anybody that has the power to heal should run this country...



Anybody that does the same pose twice, but makes it look totally different should run this country....

Mimi's Dream Come True!

[Hollywood Rag] [Thanks to Superview]

KFed Busts a Move to PopoZao

This is some fucking funny shit!

Watch this shit!

Parasite Refuses Playboy!!!

This has got to be the funniest thing I've ever read. We've all seen Parasite Hilton's coochie, breasts and asshole! I think I've even seen her uterus! But, Parasite has said that she would never pose in Playboy! Why?! That's basically free money! She gets nude anyway, she might as well get paid for it.

She said: "They've asked me a million times. Hef has been after me since I was 17, and I got offered a lot of money.

"I'll never do it. Why? Because I'm Paris Hilton."

We've seen so much of this ho that she could pose inside/out and we still wouldn't be shocked.

[Female First]

Thank God for Joan Collins!

Plastic surgery much? Someone's been making regular visits to Dr. 90210 and that someone is Alexis Carrington herself: Joan Collins! Here she is at some shitty luncheon in London. Is she wearing that gorilla fur coat that was taken away by Pete Burns?! How fucking dare she! Someone slap her!

What is Wrong with these People?!!!?!

Don't tell me Shar Jackson think she's getting back at Britney Spears?! Well, Shar (ex-chick of KFed) was seen severely making out with Britney's ex-husband Jason Alexander. This past Saturday, Shar showed up to Ray J's (brother of Brandy) birthday party in L.A. and the two got all freaky and shit.

A source said: "They made out all night before going upstairs to the off-limits bedroom area of the house."

What happened to Quentin Tarantino? How did Shar fuck that one up? Quentin may have a face only a mother could love, but he's rich! Jason Alexander ain't got shit. But you wanna know something nasty, I'd do him.

[Page Six] [Thanks to Albz]

Kiki's New Man?!

Kiki Dunst was seen looking for even uglier clothes at a flea market in Los Angeles on Sunday. She's rich, right? Because, she seriously looks the shit that comes up when you unclog a drain. Her new man is fat or maybe looks fat next to her homely ass. I'm guessing this isn't her new man, probably just a friend. This dude belongs with some plastic-looking, big-breasted, bleach-blonded tramp not some Lower East Side homeless woman!









[JJB]

UPN and The WB No More!

When the fuck did this happen?! It was announced this morning that a new network called CW from Warner Bros. and CBS will replace The WB and UPN this coming fall. The new network will draw on current shows from both The WB and UPN with each company owning 50 percent.

Les Moonves of CBS said: "This new network will serve the public with high-quality programming and maintain our ongoing commitment to our diverse audience,"

The new network will broadcast such UPN shows as "America's Next Top Model," "Veronica Mars" and "Everybody Hates Chris," as well as WB programs "Beauty and the Geek," "Smallville" and "Gilmore Girls."

So many shows are going to eat shit due to this merger! What about those shows?!

[CNN] [Thanks to StacyCRo]

Come See Me Star!

One of my our hot readers, Clamzilla wrote to me about Star Jones' tirade on yesterday's The View. Star basically went off on all of us that call her a fat cow behind our computer screens, but don't have the balls to say it to her face!

Here's what Clamzilla wrote:

She took over the entire first segment to moan and bitch about how she has gotten all this hateful e-mail and seen posts on-line at the gossip sites (she must be a D-List reader, we already know she's a Dlister) that call her ~ get ready for it ~ a "fat See You Next Tuesday." Of course the dimwitted Elizabeth Hassleback had to press it over and over. "What does that mean? I don't get it. 'See You Next Tuesday'?" Meanwhile Meredith and Joy just looked embarrassed because you just know they are two of the anonymous e-mailers.

Anyway, Starlet the Hutt ended up using sign language to form a "C" and a "U" and then said "N" and Elizabeth still sat there with the vapid idiotic look on her face so Star just blurted it out. "Okay, they called me a "Fat Cunt." Naturally, they bleeped the last word, but everybody knew she said it and the audience acted as if she had been shot. Then she went off for ten minutes on how people hide behind their anonymity on the Internet and say all these cruel things they'd never say in real life while she at least has the guts (I almost cried trying to restrain myself at this point) to say what she thinks and have people know it is her. What I am sure Blobberella doesn't realize is there are thousands if not millions, myself included, who would be happy to line up for the opportunity to go on "The Phew" and call her a fat cunt to her face on national tv. Hell, I'd even slap her a few times and make fun of her fugly husband too for free.

I'm with Clamzilla! Star if you're reading this, you know how to contact me! I'll gladly appear on your show and tell you to your FUG face that I think your husband is a fag and is only with you, because he doesn't want work and wants to fuck dudes all day long. Shit, I'll even meet you anyplace and anytime to tell you that I think you're an ugly and hateful cow! So how dare she say that we wouldn't say it to her face?! Give us the chance and I'm sure thousands of us would be happy to!

[Thanks to Clamzilla]

UH OH!

Kanye West is at it again! Yup, that's him as Jesus Christ on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. And the modest Kanye laid it down on why he did such a controversial cover:

"I'm the most controversial artist this year,"

"I'm saying that as an observation, not as a stunt; from the outside looking in, you know?"

Oh and he totally deserves to be on the cover, because:

"You should give it to me because I'm doing my job,"

"I'm making good music, and it's interesting and changing the world and everything, so you put me on the cover. I appreciate it. I don't want to come off, like, ungracious, but I feel like I had to fight to get on these covers."

That shit is tired. Mel Gibson already played that card. If Kanye really wanted to do something shocking, he should've dressed as Mary Magdalene.

[Thanks to StacyCRo]

Marlon Brando Sucked Off Cary Grant?!

A new biography about Marlon Brando is due to hit stores and will expose the star as a sex-crazed nympho! The new book is said to include a photograph of Marlon engaging in some dick-sucking with another dude! I hope this is HOT Marlon Brando not FAT Marlon Brando. Ugh, because that would be against the law and I don't want to have to call 9-1-1!!

BRANDO UNZIPPED by DARWIN PORTER exposes the ON THE WATERFRONT actor as a prize lothario, romping his way through Hollywood with the biggest names, both male and female.
The sensational tome says, "From ROCK HUDSON to VIVIEN LEIGH, from BETTE DAVIS to CARY GRANT, Brando slept around, even managing to seduce two of America's First Ladies."
Publishing group Blood Moon insist the jaw-dropping image of Brando and a male lover may come as a surprise, but it is treated "tastefully" .

Tastefully?! Fuck that, I want to see his mouth full of jizz. God, he's such a fag. Look at that picture of him! It looks like it was taken straight from the Castro in San Francisco!

[3AM Girls] [Thanks to Albz]

Jodie and Girlfriend!

[click on image to enlarge]

Jodie Foster and her two sons visited a park this past weekend. The woman seen with them is said to be Jodie's partner of many years, Sidney.

You mean Jodie's a dyke?! You don't say?!!! You learn something new everyday!

[Celebrity Baby Blog] [Thanks to 2pinkballoons]

So that was MIMI in the River Thames?!!!

[Thanks to AMS for photos]

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to DLISTED!

I'm such a moron! Yesterday was Dlisted's one-year birthday and I totally forgot!!! I'm such a bad parent. Anyway, I can't believe it's been one-year since I've created this lil' site. I know that sounds cliche', but it's true. It seems like yesterday when getting 50 hits a day was an amazing achievement to me. My how things have changed and grown! It has been a rock-star year thanks to you bitches, honestly.

I hate to sound all sappy and shit, but without your asses this site would be nothing. OMG, let me copy this for my Emmy speech! I started to list everybody that has commented on the site, but honestly it's not possible. There have been so many of you that have supported me recently and many of you that have supported me from DAY ONE!

Ok, so I just wanted to thanks again! Now, let's hope this year is filled with even more trash and slutiness.

Happy Birthday Dlisted! (Sorry I missed it yesterday)

xoxoxoxoMichael K

No Friends or Trina

Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that NBC has squashed rumors that a Friends reunion has been put in place. Jeff Zucker said there were no truth to the reports that the cast members were going to reunite for four one-hour episodes receiving $5 Million each. He also put rumors to rest that a spin-off show starring David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Matt Le Blanc was in development.

Well thank smelly cat for that one!

Now, the bad news..



Trina will not be appearing as Alfre Woodard's bad-ass daughter on Desperate Housewives as I have previously reported. The rumor started when photos of the rapper circulated and people assumed they were from the set of DH. Oh well, guess Eva LongWHORIA's gonna be the only ghetto-ho on Wisteria Lane for now.

[Monsters and Critics] [Concrete Loop] [Thanks to Superview]

The Dlisted Report

The director of Dodgeball will direct and write the big-screen adaptation of Magnum P.I. Rawson Marshall Thurber will work on the project for Brian Grazer and Imagine Entertainment. The original 1980s action series starred Tom Selleck in the title role. [Variety]

Theresa Russell, star of Black Widow will play the wife of Thomas Haden Church in Spider-Man 3. Sam Raimi is directing the movie with shooting currently underway. The movie will be released on May 4, 2007. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Mickey Rooney and Dick Van Dyke will play the villains in Night at the Museum for director Shawn Levy. Rooney and Van Dyke will play security guards at the Museum of Natural History on the same detail as Ben Stiller's night watchman. Stiller's character discovers a magical pharaoh's tablet, but Van Dyke, playing the head of security who has worked at the museum for nearly 50 years, wants the tablet to stay young. Rooney is his colleague who, with Cobbs, helps Van Dyke's character with his nefarious schemes. Carla Gugino also stars with the film due this December 22. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

His publicist hopes that releasing this photo to the media will prove once and for all that Hervé Villechaize is not dead but enjoying his retirement on his ranch in Santa Barbara. - Agitprop Bart

[Thanks to Lookee]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Linda Ronstadt

[For Loozer]

Birthday Sluts

Mischa Barton (20)
Nicole Lenz (26)
Tatyana Ali (27)
Matthew Lillard (36)
Mary Lou Retton (38)
Natassja Kinski (47)
Yakov Smirnoff (55)
Gennifer Flowers (56)
Aaron Neville (65)
Neil Diamond (65)
Ernest Borgnine (89)

Superman Baby!

It's Kal-El Cage and he's 3-months-old and loving it! If you aren't familiar with this hot piece of hapa, he's the son of Nicolas Cage and gold-digging hotness Alice Kim. She's like 19 or some shit, but richer than all of us now that she's married daddy. Kal-El is seriously super-cute. Let's hope he keeps his mom's looks, because his daddy ain't nothing to write home about.



[JJB]

Ooof!

Concrete Loop has this HORRIFIC picture of Roberta Flack leaving her house. I hate to rag on this mess, but come on now!!! I'm not even famous and I don't leave the house looking like I've been washing up cow parts all night and day. Look at that lady behind her, she's fugly and even she looks disgusted by Roberta!

Somebody Please Get Little Richard a Better Wig!

Can't he afford something better?! Does he get his wigs at the same joint Whitney Houston gets hers? Tootie Fruity is right!

Flavor of Love: That's Hottie

This week's episode was all about Hottie. That bitch is seriously becoming my favorite chick on TV. Is she for real? Just her outfits alone are worth tuning in each week. This week opened up with the girls meeting Flava Flav's mother for the first time. She took them to church and it was all really boring.

The juice came when New York told mom that she loved her son.



She basically rolled her eyes as did the other girls. Flav's mom was hot. She didn't take any bullshit and she looked like she would rather be anywhere but there.



Late that night after their dates, New York tucked her dick and followed Pumkin and Hoopz into Flav's room. She thought she was going to seduce his ass.



Instead she had to share him with those other sluts who were fast asleep.



Now, here's where the Hottie action begins. Look at her fucking ass! She's gorgeous. Seriously, who wears that? I know she makes that shit herself in the insane asylum. Speaking of insane, she told Flava her waist was 26".



If that's 26", I must be a fucking 12". Maybe that roll of fat is about 26". Damn, she crazy!



But Flav seems to like her.



After the laughs with Hottie, Flava announced to the girls that they all had to cook him fried chicken. Sweetie wasn't feeling it, because when she was a little girl she was attacked by some crazy rooster or some shit. To this day she can't touch or eat chicken! This house is full of NUTS!



He won't bite you Sweetie!



Hottie had her own special recipe that she assured us would win the competition. She decided she wasn't going to make fried chicken, but was going to prepare a veggie masterpiece. She said it was going to be all organic and so delicious.



Oh hell no! She must've been joking. Not even a homeless person would eat that shit!



She didn't want to fry it either, so she just placed it in the microwave!



And pressed the button for chicken. Little did she know that the button was actually for chicken pieces of the frozen kind. DUMB SLUT!



She of course lost.



Flava and Flava-Mom were disgusted!



When Flav asked who was the chef of that disgusting thing, Hottie seemed to look the other way. AHAHAHAH! I love that bitch!



Hoopz won. Yawn.



Look at these sluts, seriously...it looks like a tranny convention.



Ok New York is a dude! Someone get Drudge on this! Red Oyster is so sneaky!



WTF is Hottie wearing?! She needs her own fashion line NOW. Fuck House of Dereon, I want House of Hottie.



It shows off her bulges quite nicely.



I love me some Goldie.



In the end, Sweetie went home. No loss, I still have my Hottie!

Afternoon Crumbs

Somebody stop the Lohans! [Cityrag]

Haylie Duff gives birth to a son and it's human! [Just Jared]

Madge and Guy heading for splitsville? [Glitterati]

L'Oreal will take anyone! Even Teri Snatcher [Hollywood Rag]

Britney Spears is pigging out. [IDLYITW]

Yeah, I think Bryce Dallas Howard is kind of hot. [Egotastic!]

Jason Lee gets the pox and shuts down filming of his show! [Popsugar]

Halle Berry's boyfriend is hot shit! [Gabsmash]

Mamie Van Doren is 74?!

She looks fucking hot. She looks like Pamela Anderson's twin sister! If you don't know who Mamie Van Doren is, she basically was a low-rent Marilyn Monroe in her day. She's starred in over 30 films since 1951. She's seen here with fellow plastic lover Amanda Lepore at some art shit in NYC.

Do you think she's even alive? She looks like she's been wrapped, dipped, sawed off, sewn back together and airbrushed to death. OMG she's so fucking fantastic! I bet you she can't even talk, because her face is sooo tight and her brain is mush from so much peroxide!

The Long Island Lolita Reunion

It was a decade ago that Amy Fisher was named the Long Island Lolita after shooting Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her lover Joey. The story became an International sensation and sparked 3 Made-for-TV-Movies. Amy spent 7 years in prison, Joey and Mary Jo split up shortly after the trial and Joey remarried. He's also been in and out of jail for statutory rape and insurance fraud. Mary Jo is currently engaged and still paralyzed from getting her face shot off.

It was only a matter of time before the three agreed to do a reunion. So, following in the footsteps of Friends, the three will sit down and talk about what happened to their asses. However, a network has yet to purchase this reunion. I guess this is too trashy for even Jerry Springer.

Amy can't wait to sit down and let the public see how things have healed. She said: "We played this all out in a public eye. It'd be interesting to let the public see the healing process at the end. They saw everything else -- why not let them see the final product?"

Joey hopes to find out why Amy shot his wife's ass? He said: "I've been asked about a million times by Mary Jo, 'Why did Amy shoot me?' I was never able to get that answer,"

I don't know why, but I eat this shit up. I doubt it will be trashy and probably super-boring, but there's nothing like a former teenage ho, a paralyzed LI housewife and the man they were fighting for sitting down and sharing tears and tea.

[CNN] [Thanks to Mouse]

Let's Hope It Gets Her Looks!

This is the rumor that doesn't seem to die. I think I've reported on it at least three times, but again sources claim JLo and her fine-as-hell husband Marc Anthony are expecting a fug baby of their very own.

Marc was seen at Fred Segal recently purchasing loads of baby shit sparking rumors again!

A source said: "He was at Fred Segal last week and bought a Guys Infant Gear diaper bag for $120."

“"He said something that made it pretty clear that it wasn't a gift, —that he intended to use it."

He looks like has severe diarrhea. So, I'm guessing he bought the bag to carry diapers for himself. His face is always so pained looking that it must be due to issues with his man-hole. The yellow-face also comes from severe dehydration because his ass is always spewing funk. That's my guess. Even Dakota is disgusting by his severe funk. Therefore, I'm guessing no baby on board.

[The Bosh] [Thanks to Triston]

Why GOD Why?!

The cast of Friends are set to reunite for 4 one-hour specials set to air later this year. Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc agreed to $5 Million each in order to star in the episodes.

A source at NBC said that Jennifer Aniston was the last to agree.

"She's the one who had been holding out. But she's now agreed to reprise her role of Rachel Green. Bringing them back is a dream come true. "

I know all of them (except Aniston) need the cash and exposure, but is this necessary? I didn't even like the show when it was on. Unless, the six of them die in a fiery and gory car crash...I'm not interested in this shit!

Some things should be kept buried!

[National Ledger] [Thanks to Player420]

Drew Barrymore Spoofs Herself on SNL!

[JJB]

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers Doesn't Like to Hit on Women!

JRM is such a fucking fag. I just really wished he would come out already. Several bitches have told me that they have either slept with him or know people who have. Anyway, JRM's latest words of gayism is about how he doesn't like to hit on women. Trust me, he has no problem hitting on dudes.

He said: "I'm not very forward with women but I looked at her and thought she was beautiful. Fortunately, she was forward and bought me a drink.

"Love at first sight doesn't exist but this was pretty quick. I fell in love days after.

"And now I love almost everything about her."

He's talking about Reena Hammer, the daughter of cosmetics queen Ruby Hammer. A cosmetic queen? Well, JRM does love make-up so this works out.

[Contact Music]

This Isn't Going to End Pretty

Mimi and Naomi Campbell are seen here in Paris leaving some hotel. How are these two friends? There must be some sort of explanation? In any case, I don't see this friendship having a happy ending. Mimi is much too fragile to handle what's coming at her once Naomi gets angry with her.

I can imagine the scene. Mimi is going to start talking about how pretty Hello Kitty is and Naomi is going to think that means Mimi thinks she's ugly. Naomi will then throw her cell phone at Mimi. Poor M is not going to know what to do, so she's going to get up and start running. But unfortunately her clothes are always much too tight for her and she's going to fall flat on her face. This will of course leave her WIDE open for that Naomi the Grouch to attack her without help!

So, it's not going to be a good thing.

They are Such White Trash!

Jude Law and Sienna Miller use their British accents to try and fool us that they are proper and shit. But bitches are more ghetto than using a toilet as a planter! These idiots have broken up at least a hundred times. Well, sources close to the couple claim that the two are finally a done deal. At this point, I think I'm the only one that cares.

Jude is finally sick of Sienna's constant nagging. His friends and family have been trying to persuade him to dumb that slut once and for all. They are sick of all the drama. Sienna's latest demands involve Jude's children with Sadie Frost. Sienna doesn't like the fact that he's constantly visiting them.

Jude went to visit Sienna in America while she's shooting, but cut his visit short when the bitch started whining again. He hasn't spoken to her since apparently. Trust me, this ain't the end.

This tale is going to end true Ghetto fashion: someone's getting shot with a sawed-off rifle!

[Channel 4]

Guess, He Needs Cash!

Axl Rose, lead singer of the 90s group Guns 'N' Roses has confirmed that the original band is in talks to getting back together. The band broke up 10 years ago, but Axl has been using the band's name and will put on a new album this year with new members. He has said that the original band might get back together for some kind of reunion. Straight-up, bitch's need dough.

He said: "Every time there's a big festival announced, we get rumored to be on there. But we'll see what happens."

"I haven't spoken to Slash in ten years. I love the guy, I always wanted everyone to know how great he was, but I was just talking to guitarist Izzy Stradlin the other day."

They were the shit, I must say. But have you seen Axl lately? Last time I saw him perform he had a total "muffin" top. His gut was totally coming out of his jeans, shit was ready to go. Bitch didn't even try to cover that up.

[Female First]

Happy Monday!!

There's no better way to get our week started by seeing gorgeous pictures of Fergie. Isn't she just a jewel? Honestly, it's like seeing my grandmother in a thong bikini. Bitch's face looks rough. We both grew up in the same woods, but damn my face doesn't look like I've visited Hostel.

And I swear I see a dick tucked underneath there. Just kidding, her body is actually her only saving grave. Don't ask me why she's trying on all these bikinis, but whoever's idea this was seriously hates themselves.

Kate Beckinsale Quote of the Day!

"Actually, I'm surprised there aren't more celebrities in burkhas. You wouldn't have to work out. You could let yourself go. We should design a non-religious celebrity burkha with a floral print."

Blind Item...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH model-actress-whatever has some problems in the hygiene department? Famous for showing flesh and flashing smiles at all the chicest parties, this downtown wild child has a certain scent about her. Snotty scenesters blame it on her foreign upbringing, but she was raised here in the city.

Amanda Hearst

WHICH aging actress who claims that her strangely youthful face has been untouched by a surgeon's scalpel practically has a house account at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon's office?

Sharon Stone

WHICH A-list actress who is having trouble getting pregnant might have her mild case of anorexia to blame?

Nicole Kidman

That Car is a Piece of Junk!

Britney Spears and her brother Bryan found themselves stuck in the middle of PCH as their gazillion-dollar Ferrari suffered a breakdown. The paparazzi being such kind-hearted souls helped push the car out of the way while the cops came and took Britney home. KFed was nowhere to be seen.

KFed probably didn't put gas in the car, because he didn't want to spend any of his allowance!

Britney's brother is totally borrowing KFed's clothes! Gross, now he has a bad case of crabs!















[JJB]

The Dlisted Report

Underworld: Evolution was the #1 film at the box office bringing in $27.6 Million. Hoodwinked came in at #2 with $11 Million. Glory Road brought in about $9.1 Million to come in at #3. [Box Office Mojo]

As expected Will & Grace and The West Wing have been cancelled by NBC. Their finales will be on May 18th and May 14th. [Dark Horizons]

Luc Jacquet, director of March of the Penguins has announced that his next project will be The Fox & the Child. The project will combine documentary footage with a fictionalized story. "Fox" centers on a young girl and her friendship with the eponymous animal. An adult female narrator will relate the tale as a memoir of her childhood. The film is starting soon with a year long shoot in Italy, France & Romania. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

THE TOP 3:

"Finding Guido" - Migs

Jessica Simpson's attempt to create a new, better boy-bander to marry unfortunately went horribly wrong when Papa Joe decided to include his own DNA, creating horrible mutations that could maul a man to death using only their hair as weapons. - Marty

How many Gotti's does it take to change a light bulb? - Steph


[Thanks to Doobus]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Karen O from Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Birthday Sluts

Mariska Hargitay (42)
Tiffani Thiessen (32)
Gail O'Grady (43)
Princess Caroline of Monaco (49)
Rutger Hauer (62)
Chita Rivera (73)

Choke Bitch!

Parasite Hilton is in Sundance, well because basically there's lots of available dick there right now. Here she is totally posing with that weird chocolate/marshmellow thing. Me thinks she thinks she looks ultra sexy pretending to get oral with that thing. We've all seen her oral skills and know it's nothing to cum about, so she's not doing us any favors. She should just choke on that thing already!

Love Lips

Courtney Love is seen here leaving a Beverly Hills salon after getting her hair did. It looks like she got her lips did instead. Damn, what is she injecting in those things? We know she's broke, so she's probably injecting some vaseline into that shit. I must say that as must as you try to clean her up, she still looks like a hopeless crack-ho!

Scarlett's Dresses Like an Old Bitch!

According to Woody Allen anyway. He thinks that Scarlett Johansson should really dress her age!

He said: "I have had many conversations with Scarlett on this subject. The main thing I tell her is to simplify. I think that she dresses older than she should. I would tell her to wear her hair looser, to lessen the makeup and heavy red lipstick. Be more natural. It's a starlet thing. She is a beautiful girl, but I have told her to tone it down. I have told her to dress her age, instead of dressing like my Aunt Minnie."

I don't know about you guys, but my aunt's breasts don't bulge out of her dress like Scarlett's. Oh and Woody would rather just see her nekkid and riding his worm meat!

[Page Six]

Kate Bosworth at Bed, Bath and Beyond!

I think I just fell asleep looking at those pics! It's Sunday give me a break!

Hot Slut of the Week: Mindy Cohn

Age: 39
Birthday: May 20, 1966
Birth Name: Mindy Cohn

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: January 19, 2006
Claim to Fame: Nat Green on The Facts of Life

Where is he now? She's still acting! She also can be heard as the voice of Velma on The New Scooby Doo series.

Why is he Hot Slut of the Week? Even though Blair Warner was my favorite, there's always a soft spot in my heart for Nat Green!

MISS FUG AMERICA!