Dlisted: 01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Trying to be a Femme Fatale



Sadly, she's as sexy as a monkey in pampers. This were taken at the Golden Globe party last night in Los Angeles. Someone should tell her to quit the sexy. It's rather pathetic.



I Double Dog Dare You...



...to say one nice thing about this Jay Leno look-a-like. Shit, if you can you're a better person than I am. The only nice thing I can say about her is that she's making a lot of people skinny, because one look at her mug and you're running for the toilet! Fuck bulimia, HoHan should just hang with Haylie.

These Rags are So Dramatic!



Although, I would love to see Jennifer Aniston wedding crash Angie and Brad's special day - I don't think it's going to happen. Maddox is a different case, however.

Eminem Marrying Today for the Fiftieth Time!



Eminem will marry his on-and-off again girlfriend/ex-wife Kim Mathers today in Detroit. Marshall and Kim have already purchased a marriage license to tie the knot for the second time. These bitches are crazy, Kim especially. Why does she keep going back to a man that has told her in song that he wants to kill her ass?! Oh hell no.

Anyway, we wish them all the luck in the world and we'll be there for them when they break-up like a Pinto in a car crash in about 6 weeks.

[Blogging Baby] [Thanks to Dawn]

The Haiti Adventure

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in Haiti as we all know it. They are there with Wyclef Jean doing some kind of charity work, right? These are some good pics of them. They actually look quite nice and happy. I love the picture blow of this little girl.

"Angie, I know your game. Don't fuck with me. Your vagina don't do shit for me." - Little Girl in Blue













Click here to see some more pics of these bitches!

Adrianne Curry on Playboy



I think the oatmeal I'm about to eat is more exciting than her!

Hot Slut of the Day!



Jo-Anne Knowles
from Mile High

[For Dunkin Dougenuts]

Birthday Sluts



LL Cool J (38)
Mikalah Gordon (18)
Kristin Cavallari (19)
Angela Lindvall (27)
Karen Elson (27)
Jason Bateman (37)
Emily Watson (39)
Steven Soderbergh (43)
Faye Dunaway (65)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Heath Gets a Facial!



Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams were promoting their film Brokeback Mountain Heath's home country of Australia when photographers decided to shower him with water. Hmmm...deja vu? The photogs did this in retaliation at Heath, because of the way he has treated them recently. Photographers claim they have been spat at, abused and had their property damaged by the actor.

So the best they could do is shoot him with a water pistol? If some bitch spat at me, there is no way I'm going to get back at them with just a super soaker. Let's hope this fuels Heath's fire and causes him to create even more drama on their asses. Those are the best kind of pictures.

Poor Michelle, she's just a frail thing.





[Ireland Online] [Pics: JJB]

Angie & Brad in Haiti!



Doesn't she totally look like a mail-order Russian bride being detained by INS?! Anyway, Bradley and Angie are in Haiti probably saving the world as always. Brad is minding his master by staying at least 2 steps behind her. Just like any good concubine....







[JJB
]

South Beach: I Give it 3 Weeks



I had high hopes for this primetime soap opera which premiered last night on the respected UPN. I mean JLo, Vanessa Williams, drugs, murder...what more could one want? Well, some average writing would help. That shit was written in like 25-minutes AND it was a 2-hour episode!

I'm not going to bore with you petty details, but basically Vanessa Williams should get in the unemployment line now.

Here's two of my favorite lines from the so show uttered by the rejected Miss America:

"South Beach is like Madonna's image, it's always changing."

and

"South Beach WILL EAT YOU ALIVE."

One more thing, what was up with Vanessa's son?! He looked like he was 16-years-old but he was supposed to be like the main mack daddy of the show. Maybe she wanted a younger looking dude, so her ass won't look so old.

Sigh, guess we'll have to wait a little while longer for the next Melrose Place.

For a more detailed summary head over to Jossip.

Parasite Drinks Leprechaun Jizz!



Parasite Hilton will show up to any opening, even the opening of a cereal box! Literally. You know she totally fucked Lucky the Leprechaun. That's probably his berry jizz in the bowl that she's about to gulp on.



A Big DUH!



Did she also confirm that she's a fucking bitch?!

[People]

Brownies, Can You Hear Me?!



Babs Streisand is trying to lose weight, but don't expect that one to shell out thousands of dollars on a personal trainer and a chef. Babs is doing it on the cheap: Jenny Craig. Babs may be worth $550 Million, but you won't see her ass paying some bitch to help her get on the skinny. She reportedly weighs 175lbs at 5'5" and is hoping to shed more than 35lbs.

Hey if it worked for Kirstie Alley.

Babs recently told Diane Sawyer: "I've been eating like a pig."

She also banished brownies, ice cream and cupcakes from her kitchen.

Cheap bitch. She should just get gastric-bypass. That's the easy way. That Jenny Craig crap probably tastes like fucking shit. No wonder you lose weight, you don't want to eat!

Besides, she's better on the heavy-side because it detracts from that fucking fugly mug of hers.


[The National Enquirer]

Afternoon Crumbs

Lauren Holly's new tits are disgusting. [Truth, Beauty, Love, and Elisa]

It's the official Angelina Jolie bump watch. [Just Jared]

Somebody please buy Vincent Gallo's jizz already! [Cityrag]

Kate Beckinsale makes me wanna hmm... [Egotastic!]

Young Skinny Rich Hollywood Bitches [Popsugar]

Eva LongWHORIA has a vibrator party. [Hollywood Rag]

I need the Carolyn Murphy sex tape to come out already! [IDLYITW]

Carmen Electra makes things easier. [Hollywood Tuna]

Also BIG congrats to reader Dayanara on her engagement!!!!! Bitch, you're getting married!

George Michael Quote of the Day!



"It's okay for a woman to try new styles, but for a man? If I look at David Beckham - he looks fantastic, but permanently changes his look. All I can see is insecurity.

"No matter how great he looks, he is still insecure. Things like that should stop if you reach a certain age."


All It Takes Is One Match!



Nice wig. Shit, even Whitney Houston's wig looks softer than that rathide.



Aniston Was Never Told!

Jennifer Aniston's publicist is denying claims that Brad Pitt told Jen about Angie's pregnancy before news spread. Apparently, there weren't any telephone conversations between Jennifer and Angelina or Jennifer and Brad about the pregnancy.

Her spokeswhore said: "All the reports about phone calls between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie are completely fabricated."

"I am not getting any more specific than that."


Why should he have to tell her ass anyway? It's none of her beeswax! I bet you Jen's response was like: "I hope she gets really, really fat. Yeah, really fat. Like obese fat and...and..I hope that baby has an ugly--ass-face!"

[People]

KFed is an Amazing Father!



If Access Hollywood was a Jelly Belly flavor, they would be asskiss. Yesterday, they aired an interview with KFed about his life with Britney, being a daddy to SPF and his new CD.

Maria Menounos: "First of all, do we call you K-Fed?"

KFed: "No dude,"

MM: "I'm just kidding. Everywhere I look it says 'K-Fed' and I'm thinking to myself, 'I know he's not doing that.'"

KF: "No, I'm not doing that at all,"

About SPF-


MM: "What do you call him?"

KF: "I call him Sean P. That's my boy. I love it. I get up in the morning with him and he's, like, all ready to play and stuff,"

MM: "What do you play with him?"

KF: "I mean, he's just getting ready to talk is he is 'gooing' and 'gahhing,'"

MM: "Are you 'gooing' and 'gahhing' with him?"

KF: "Oh yeah,"

MM: "How is Kevin when it comes to changing diapers?

KF: "I've got it down to a science. I can do it with one hand tied behind my back with the phone on my ear."

MM: "No way! I'd be covering up if it was a boy. I would hold the diaper on top so you don't get squirted."

KF: "If it's your child, it's different. You don't care about those things. It's so minor. You become a parent and nothing else really matters."

On KFed's single PopoZao-

MM: "What does it mean again? Nice ass? Wait, I mean nice butt. Hold on, do we need to that again? Can I say that on TV?"

KF: "There you go. Nice ass. You can say it on television if it's positive, right?"

MM: "The album is called 'Truth' right?"

KF: "No, no. That's all tabloid rumors. I was thinking of calling it 'Rearranged,'"

MM: "Why?"

KF: "It's time I come out and take control of my situation so I'm rearranging my whole character and letting people know who I am. It's not like everybody knows who I am. You see this picture of me and it says this and that and that's not true."

MM: "Do you have any pictures of Sean Preston with you?"

KF: "Nope,"

More on SPF-

KF: "Yeah. I want to say spoiled as much as it's so easy for him to win me over,"

MM: "Who is going to be the disciplinarian?"

KF: "I will, I will,"

MM: "So does that mean that mom Britney is a pushover when it comes to baby Sean?"

KF: "Oh yeah,"

MM: "She must be so in love with him,"

KF: "Oh yeah. We are happy. Love it,"

MM: "Do you guys think you'll have more?"

KF: "We'll have to see about that one,"

So basically from this interview, we learned that KFed is an expert at shit, doesn't want anymore kids with Brit Brit and is going to have the dumbest album of the year. Oh but, PopoZao is my new jam!

[Thanks to JJB]

Scarlett Loves Moss, Moss Thinks She's a Cunt



Scarlett Johansson has joined the bandwagon of Hollywood sluts proclaiming Kate Moss as their style Messiah. I mean come on, anyone can put on flats and leggings and call it fashion.

Scarlett said: "Kate Moss always looks amazing. She always looks great in everything.

"She could wear a black sack and everyone would rush out to buy one."

Seems like Scarlett is feeling the love for Kate. Too bad Kate's BFF HoHan isn't giving the love back to her.

[Contact Music]

The Photoshop Awards: Mimi



You know her face is not that skinny!

Pink is a Lady!



Pink and Carey Hart got hitched last weekend in Costa Rica. Here are some wedding and honeymoon pics from this retarded special occasion. Pink actually looks like a lady and not a lesbian-truck-stop-ho.

Pink was also so afraid that people would find out about the wedding that she kept her wedding dress in the hotel safe.

A source said: 'Pink didn't want details leaking out and spoiling the big day for Carey and their guests.'

Yeah Pink looks like that really worked. You really outsmarted the photographers this time. You should freelance at Scotland Yard!










[Monsters and Critics]

Dellen Cruise

TomKat joked to Ellen Degeneres that they would named their alien baby "Dellen" if it's a boy. They weren't joking. They will name that kid Dellen as long as Ellen sells her soul to them. There's probably some fucked up Scientology ritual that must involve a lesbian. That's why they went on her show to trap her! Only Portia can save her now!

TomKat are also expected to get hitched this summer after Katie pops their alien heir. I think she's due this coming spring. Damn, these chicks are pregnant for like a couple of years.

[Entertainmentwise]

HoHan's Daddy Speaks!



Michael Lohan is currently locked up on several charges, but he's made time from getting nailed with a broomstick to talk to Star Magazine. He's obviously very concerned for HoHan.

He told them: "Asthma has been a serious problem for her since she was three. She almost died from it when she was five, and one of her cousins died from it at 27."

"I'm very concerned for Lindsay. I'm hearing all these rumors about her partying too much."


Daddy HoHan has no room to talk, he's like a fucking alcoholic and drug addict! He taught that poor girl how to get down. I've heard her song "Confessions of a Broken Heart" I know what she's going through. I feel for her.

She's still a crackhead slut though.

[Female First] [Thanks to Albz]



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