The MTV VMAs: Who Looked a Wreck, Part I
Paris Hilton makes it so easy. Let's start with the hair. She was going for a pompadour, but it looks like a pompaWHORE! Stupid slag. Paris, you can't hide the severe wonky eye with fake eyelashes and heroin raccoon eyes. It just doesn't happen. Now, I think the dress started out as beautiful, but when she put it on her vagina stank shredded the skirt. Which totally sucks.
Vanessa Minnillo can't get away from looking like a Las Vegas performer can she? Please will Nick Lachey use some of Chestica Simpson's money to buy this broke bitch a proper dress? It's embarrassing that she has to stoop to rifling through the MTV costume closet to dress up.
Mama, I'm a big girl now! Bitch looked more like a linebacker in a Mimi hand-me-down. I'm sorry, Chestica Simpson looks like a cheap truck stop whore no matter what she wears. And she's the annoying hooker that will talk to you while sucking your dick!
Brooke Hogan...why?! Why even bother showing up. Just save yourself some time and ridicule and just skip the venue and head straight to the Bunny Ranch. Do they have whorehouses in Bedrock?