Jen Aniston is Not Engaged
Wow, I'm relieved. I mean I care sooo much about that ho's happiness. I couldn't sleep at night thinking of the possible fact that she was going to marry Vince Vaughn. Seriously.
Jennifer spoke out against the rumors that fat Vince proposed to her:
"I'm not engaged and I don't have a ring and I haven't been proposed to," Aniston said in a telephone conversation she initiated to debunk the engagement rumors. Normally we don't even acknowledge these things because they're endless, at this point. The thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My Aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they're getting angry.
"My dad calls and he says, 'Honey, it's on the CNN crawl,' and I'm going, 'Wait a second!' When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, 'This is insane.' People are getting fed a lot of bull."
Oh poor thing Jen! Remind me to send a fruit basket to your multi-million dollar beach mansion so that you can place my goodies in a $5,000 crystal bowl. Go sob to somebody else you stupid cow. I mean it's your job deal with it. I'm sure you'd be crying a lot more if you couldn't pay your bills or afford your $2,000 haircuts. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of these homely hos bitching and moaning.