Dlisted: Grumpy is a Grump!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Grumpy is a Grump!



Meet Grumpy the cat. This bitch makes Lewis look like Alice in Wonderland. Grumpy earned his name by being just that. He is notortious in his England neighborhood for terrorizing any living thing. Grumpy is constantly on the search for food, because he's such a fat fuck! He enters homes through the pet gates and chases any animals that live there and then eats their food. If he encounters a human he will jump on your ass and scratch your eyes out.

His antics in a small leafy street in Swindon, Wiltshire, have been described as a 'four-month reign of terror' by neighbours, who finally caught the cat and put it in a cage this week.

'It was the nastiest cat ever, it would just attack you and come at you with its claws and teeth,' said one 21-year-old resident.

'If you came home or woke up to see it, he would go crazy, bouncing off furniture at you before running out of the door.

'But you never saw Grumpy in the street or outside your home - that is why we named him the Phantom cat because we never saw him except for in our homes.'

At first the neighbours felt sorry for the puss, but after four received nasty cuts and scratches, they called the RSPCA for help.

They finally trapped Grumpy behind the sofa and used a broom to push it into a cage.

Helen Briggs, of the RSPCA, said the was very unusual for the cat to react with such ferocity.

'It is common for cats to go into other people's houses because they have a curious nature and some do stand their ground when they are approached if they feel threatened,' she said.

'But to actually leap up and attack a stranger is not as common. The poor thing must really be at its wits end and must not really have any love at all.

'I hope that it has a microchip inside it so that we can find its owner.'

Grumpy is being checked over by a vet and will be collected by the RSPCA for re-homing if no owner is found.

'He has been hissing at us and scratching our arms for four months now and I'm quite glad to see the back of him,' another resident said.

'I trapped him in the living room and ran to get my neighbour. In the end there were three of us in pyjamas running around my house after a cat.

'We finally trapped him behind the sofa and I got a broom and pushed it into the cage. It was great. Four months is a long time.'

'We felt sorry for it to start with but after four months we have had enough. We finally got it and we were all really happy and cheered."


Um...why not just shoot him? Just kidding!

Hell no, that bitch knows better than to try that shit in New York. We would kill his ass and then eat him with a side of french fries. English people are too nice! If a cat started beating my ass, I would beat that ho down, skin him and then make a jacket out of him.

That being said, Grumpy is one hot ho!

[ThisIsLondon] [Thx to all the hos who sent this to me]

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