Dlisted: Flavor of Love 2: Is the Girl Ghetto?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Flavor of Love 2: Is the Girl Ghetto?

The second episode in the second series opened with the house still not getting over Somethin' laying a big doo doo in the Grand foyer of Foofy Foofy's mansion. Spunkeey felt that it was karma, because earlier that evening Somethin' went after her. Oh how I wish Somethin' let the prairie doll roll onto Spunkeey. Now that would be sweet revenge.

Um...shouldn't they get those three plates of fried chicken away from her?

Continue reading "Is the Girl Ghetto?"

I feel bad that Snoopy has to be that close to this spiteful bitch! You know he's trying desperately to walk off that shirt.

The girls were given their next challenge. They were given a menu of several foods and they each had to pick one to serve to Foofy. And of course a war had to erupt and bitches fought over the "cous cous" and "tenderloin." The other problem was that none of the bitches knew what the hell that food was. Um....I think the only food they know is KFC and White Castle and I'm being serious!

After Like Dat took control everything was settled and they got into the pimp van.

The van was of course equipped with a stripper pole. I think the pole was compromised when Somethin' tried to get up in there. Suddenly the bus became a convertible!

Um...AGAIN LADIES! Did you not get Hottie's memo about this being Flavor of Love NOT Flavor of the Boardroom. I mean..Like Dat is just there to get some pussy not some Foofy.

My girl Toastee showed all those hos how it's really done. She did say she wasn't wearing underwear, like we didn't know. Bitch your dress is falling a part, Stevie Wonder can see you aren't wearing undies. Damn! Damn, where did you get that dress from anyway?! That shit is even too trashy for Fredrick's!

Has anyone noticed the white dick in the background? I'm surprised one of these hos hasn't tried to fuck it.

Buckeey had the NERVE to call Toastee either "a whore or a stripper." I'll have you know that this bitch is BOTH! Yes, she's that talented!

This girl has major skills. I still can't get over that dress! Bet we're going to see Mimi in this like next week. Trust me.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, the games began. Foofy was blindfolded and spent a few minutes at each table. Buckwild showed that she's a squirter. Her "ghettoness" had Like Dat suspicious. Because the "ghetto" she is from doesn't have many white girls acting like that. The thing is I don't think this bitch is ghetto, I just think she's straight up country! I mean I know this ho has a toilet as a planter in her backyard.

Nibblz skipped her dish and instead fed Foofy some of her. And to be quite honest, that is a meal. I'm thinking rotted sardines and soft shell crab. Shit, why couldn't there be a whore by my side to cover my eyes. I need to get me a whore bad. They look out for you!

Wire decided to serenade Foofy with song and let's just say I can't believe the mirrors behind her are still intact. I think the peroxide has gone into her brains. More on this whack job later.

So...Like Dat, Tiger and Buckwild all won an additional date with Foofy, because he was sooo impressed with them.

Back in the hoochie bus....Payshintz got drunk and when crazy. Bitch lived in like China and went on and on how she can get a Chinaman to take care of her.
"They say once you get black you won't go back and I don't know, but I'll get Asian and won't go back."

WTF?! This ho has lived in China too long, because she can't speak English right!

So...Foofy took the 3 winning girls to take a "gonzolias" ride like in the canals of Hermosa Beach I guess. How effin romantic. And what the hell is a gonzolia? Does that somehow involve Gonzo? I was wondering where he went.

Like Dat got right to it, because ho needs to get close to him so he can't get a full look at her. I'm sorry, but bitch is straight up homely. You know the fishes in the canals were dying around them. Like Dat also needs to get close to Foofy so she can make believe he's Furonda from America's Next Top Model, cause you know the two look alike.

Tiger is a fake ho. You know this chick is just trying to get herself noticed. She's a Hottie, but without the elegant wardrobe and Ivy league education. When Foofy tried to get a kiss from her, bitch straight up turned away talking about how she's "not that kind of girl". Um....sweetie ONLY those kind of girls go on Flavor of Love. I'm sure it's in your contract, you need to read up on it. Dumb whore.

While Tiger showed she was a fake ho in front of Foofy, Like Dat and Buckwild talked about the ghetto. Buckwild admitted she was from Rancho Cucamonga, which is not the ghetto and trust me I've been there. That shit is like a diamond in the desert. Like Dat is starting to get really suspicious. She personally doesn't think Buckwild grew up in the ghetto. I mean..there's one way to settle this...pop a car tire and if bitch goes running into the bushes you know she's from the ghetto.

And what does Like Dat know about the ghetto?! She's not even wearing a WEAVE! And she calls herself ghetto. Pff!

While the 3 hos enjoyed their gonzolia rides....the rest of the girls practiced the art of "ass popping". This trained skill comes in very handy in the world of Vh1 reality shows.

Uh oh...I'm glad that isn't Somethin or else there would be a little doody bubble up in there. That white girl is ready for the clean-up.

Toastee I know your vagina needs some action, but that's nasty! Take that shit in the restroom like a lady or get Nibblz to help you out. Can you squirt into your own mouth?

While the girls had some fun that dumb bitch Spunkeey went on about how she's a lady and doesn't conduct herself that way. Are you fucking retarded?! You are on FLAVOR OF LOVE not PBS! I really want that penis in the plant to attack that frigid bitch! She needs a good pounding more than I need a good ass whoopin'!

Speaking of Spunkeey...our good friend Toastee spilled the beans on that bitch to Foofy. Right before elimination, Toastee told him that Spunkeey is a fake ho and is trying to get on all these reality shows and just wants to be on TV. Toastee mentioned that Spunkeey tried out for The Real World.

Um...which Real World? The Real World: Mesopotamia? Because you know that bitch was too old to get on any of the other ones.

When Spunkeey got her time to be fake with Foofy, she laid it all on the line.

"You're vivrant...more vivar than a vibrator...just vivrant!"

BITCH! What the hell is "vivrant"?! Ok, I just looked this up in the urban dictionary. You know it means "vibrant" in lazy talk.

While that bitch Buckeey had her alone time with Foofy, a woman (Wire) escaped from the mental hospital. This chick just stood there like a loon. Foofy basically told her to get the fuck out and she went inside and started playing the piano really loud. I'd be afraid of this girl. She'd be likely to boil up your rabbit.

Jigga what?!?

When Wire finally got her time she marveled at how straight her hair was. I mean do they serve pot-brownies on the Kraft service table, because chick was on a different planet.

"OMG I got my hair cut and flat ironed. Wow it feels like silk! How you ever felt this? Feel it, it feels like silk!"

She later told us that her time with Foofy brought out so many emotions.

"My one-on-one time with Flav was very powerful."

Spoken like a true acid freak! I say check under her tongue for tablets.

And there's Tiger! Remember how she didn't want to kiss Foofy on the gonzolia ride? Well, she sucked on his nasty-ass lips right before elimination. I'm telling you.....any girl of average intelligence and looks that wants to get with Foofy is doing it, because she wants her own reality show!

Oh and we're not done with Wire! Later, she told the girls that she really wanted to have Foofy's babies. Why you ask?

"I do want dark babies!"

I mean...you just can't write shit like that. I really believe this ho sucked all the freon out of the air conditioning unit that day. She was on planet NUTS!

Buckwild did have a valid reason on why Wire wanted to have babies with a black man.
"That's probably cause if she has a kid with a white person it's going to be see through"

I love this girl more and more everyday.

Elimination went as planned. In the end it was down to Tiger, Wire, Somethin and Spunkeey. Foofy felt that Tiger might be playing him, Wire is just plain wacko, Spunkeey is in the fake club with Tiger and he still can't get over the fact that Somethin went number two on his faux marble.

He somehow pulled it together and kept Somethin. Maybe her shit turned out to be some potent shit that cleaned 4-year-old stains off the marble. That's the only thing I can think of. Because that woman is one nasty bitch.

And poor Deelishis wasn't even in the house for a week and she's already got some flesh eating STD from being with all those whores.

Actually, did I just call he a she?

In the end he dropped Wire and Spunkeey. This was the best decision, because Wire would've ended up freaking out and murdering everyone in the house...which now that I think about it...probably isn't such a bad idea. Spunkeey you are ugly and you aren't a good actress! Somethin wasn't surprised that she stayed and made a very valid point:

"I'm glad...it's like tell me what woman can walk into his house and go poo. How many bitches can do something like that and stay?"

Yes Somethin...this means you are a truly special person with a beautiful heart.


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