Dlisted: Flavor of Love 2: Did You Bleep Him Off?!?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Flavor of Love 2: Did You Bleep Him Off?!?

After last week episode's elimination Toastee and Nibblz found themselves in Foofy's bed. Why would you want to do that to yourself and your private parts? I'm not sure.

Nibblz the camera man must hate you. Damn close-ups are not your best friend. I thought Delishis's poo poo marks (more on that later) were bad, but you take the shit and pun intended!

Continue reading "Did You Bleep Him Off?"

Foofy introduced the girls to several famous hip-hop dancers that were going to teach the girls some hot moves.

I see Somethin is back and got her hair colored.

Aja One showed her shit for the girls to which Buckeey responded:

"I think they are fly. I am excited, because I know I can do that."

Girl, I don't think your weave can handle it and your implants would probably explode into your face which isn't such a bad thing. I mean then I would totally be able to tell her and Bootz a part without that yellow banner across their chests. Seriously, they should just walk around with those.

The girls split into 3 groups and each took one of the superstar dancers with them. After saying that Buckwild "dances like a white girl" Like Dat shows how real black girls do it. I'm not sure how HER black girls dance, but that was a tragedy. Girlfriend was dancing like she had a stick up her ass and a string pulling her head. Buckwild is blacker than her!

The first time coached by Tommy the Clown went up. The team consisted of Toastee, Beatuful and Buckeey. Buckeey didn't seem impressed by Toastee's talent and said "Toastee can't dance. We're supposed to be learning how to krump, but she wants to be on the pole. Without me we'd be nothing."

Um...I think we all know Foofy would rather have some ho shaking her shit on a pole than "krumping".

Buckeey looked like a damn fool trying to be all Rize and shit. Homegirl looked like she just escaped out of a mental institution and that scary clown in the background doesn't help.

Toastee got knocked out from that bitch's cockiness. Seriously, is she dead? Someone tap her ass or shake a bottle of Boones Farmes at her.

The second teams consisted of one dyke, one tranny and a prostitute. Nibblz, Delishis and Krazy can't dance so they just put on some panties and proceeded to give us the sexy even though they were really giving us the gross.

Nibblz's (on the right) done split her panty hose. You know that's a damn shame when your ass smells so bad even your hose don't want to be near it.

The third team isn't even worth mentioning. Seriously, I kind of fast forwarded through that bore. I've been more entertained by a cat jumping through a hoop. Now, that's the talent!

So it came down to the Tommy's Girls and Foofy's Whores Flav's Angels.

Delishis and Toastee had a dance-off, but it looks like they were doing the "stop, drop and roll". You know the fire is coming from Nibblz's chocha.

Does Krazy think she's in the Joffrey ballet?! She wouldn't know a plie from a dirty vagina. The dirty vagina being Nibblz. Ok! Ok! That is my last joke about Nibblz's punane for this sentence.

Nibblz is the only black girl in the house that can't dance according to all of the girls. So, instead of even trying she just went over and cut one in front of Foofy.

I mean if that ass was coming towards me I'd probably try to hang myself with one of those gaudy tassel things.

Yup, even Buckeey was disgusted by this "internet stripper" as she called it.

Buckwild had a hot rhyme for it that I'm going to try and steal and sell to Paris Hilton for her next album:
"One clap, two clap, three clap, four...I'm going to put my pussy in Flav's face some more"

She really should join Three 6 Mafia.

Foofy of course chose the whores to win. I mean he chose the girls would most likely give him a hand job or a dirty sanchez on their date.

Krazy was up first. Foofy was going to take her to his most favorite restaurant in the city. I love how Krazy put on the black silk gloves so she could look all elegant. I mean it's endearing really. She went through the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog and tried to find something that was sexy yet sophisticated and that's what she came up with.

Personally, I think she's wearing them because she doesn't want to feel Foofy skin on skin. Smart move.

Yup, that's his favorite joint and mine too. Don't knock the colonel!

Is the picture below not the most perfect image of everything Flavor of Love stands for. All you need is a Salvation Army Santa Clause in the background and the picture would be complete.

I mean is this not the epitome of romance? If you can't find love over a chicken wing and a biscuit, I don't know where you can find love.

After they finished like six buckets of fake chicken they headed back to the pad. Now before they began their romantic bath soaking you know they took some mean poo-poos. Ewww, I mean NASTY-ass ones.

Why did Foofy have to go and take off his shorts? Why? I would love it if the camera was on her expression. It's probably a fog of disgust hidden by fake lust.

Now to the juicy shit! As Foofy harassed Krazy in the bath tub, Toastee told the other girls about the night she spent with Foofy and Nibblz. She claimed that Nibblz gave Foofy a blow job.

SCANDAL! At least Nibblz's lisp was put to good use. I'm not sure how a lisp can help you out in that department...I'm just speculating. So don't get all crazy and write me on how you went home with a raging queen with a lisp for days and expected him to be good at the head. I'm just saying!

Anyway...she said she heard "sounds".

Bitch was drunk!

The other girls asked her "What does that sound like?"

Um...if you're on Flavor of Love and you have to ask what a blow job sounds like...you're either retarded or delusional. Actually if you're on FOL you are retarded and delusional, but really slutty which is hot.

There's that Agent Bootz again! She's on the case! She wasn't buying it.
"And that's when I was thinking she was lying, but then I wasn't sure."

Oh Toastee better watch out now, because that Agent Bootz is the next Jessica Fletcher...only like 40 years younger with a bigger rack. Wait, did Angela Lansbury have big ones? My eyes were trained to never look that low.

Nibblz got the morning date with Foofy and came dressed for the occasion. Ain't that about a whore!

After her date with Foofy, Bootz confronted her about what Toastee said. Bitch didn't waist anytime and axed (her word not mine) if she sucked him off. Nibblz of course denied it and said she told Foofy she wasn't that kind of girl.

She also said (in a lisp):

"Apparently, Thoastee hath been thelling the girls that I was playing wit hith pee pee underneath the covers"

On his third date, Foofy took out Delishis. Now now...I've been making fun of homegirl and calling out her poo poo marks. I apologize since her poo poo marks were made, because she was in a terrible car accident. She hasn't gotten them removed because they are to remind her of everything she has been through. So Delishis, I apologize.

But let's be real, you know those poo poo marks came from a botched sex change operation you tried to have in Mexico. God, I can't be nice for a damn second!

You let Foofy touch em? They just got worse bitch!

Back at the mansion, Nibblz confronted Toastee for telling the others that she did some nasty ass illegal shit with Foofy.

Toastee said that she felt motions from the other side of the bed. Ok, I'm confused. Because it's Vh1 they keep bleeping out whenever they say suck off or jack off. So I don't know if she jacked him off or sucked him off. So she bleeped him off which is way worse than both of those.

Toastee stands by her claims as the wind blows into her hair. The wind is most likely coming from Nibblz gaping woman-hole. And I'm not talking about her vagina, I'm talking about her pee hole because you know that shit is large!

After her conversation with Toastee, Nibblz dropped a bomb on Foofy.

Said in her signature lisp:

"I tink there is someting you thould know. Thoastee does porn."

Apparently, Toastee told everyone she was a model but she told Nibblz she was an adult model and porn star. She cried through the entire conversation, but please. Bitch you were trying to sabotage your girl! Hey, that's the name of the game.

On a sidenote: Nibblz has done nude modeling before and let's just say she has doesn't have meat curtains, she has straight-up shredded pastrami with a side of sauerkraut!

He confronted Toasteee right away and she denied it. She told him she did nude modeling, but never porn. Doesn't she kind of look like Diane Lane?

The two girls went into Foofy's suite to talk it out. Nibblz still stood by her story as did Toastee.

Nibblz told him that Toastee told her, her porn name was Natalia and you could find her on VHS and the internet. But not DVD?! Cheap!

Foofy told both of them that he would do some research to find out the truth and whoever was lying would go home.

No seriously, doesn't she look like Diane Lane?

Yeah, even these two whores see it!

Toastee was extremely bothered by Nibblz accusations and couldn't take it anymore. Before elimination she went into Foofy's room and told him she was going to leave the show.

When she announced she was quitting, Foofy asked her "You came to see me" and she agreed but then broke down as she said "I came here to meet you."

You know she was crying, because she realized what she was saying!

Foofy turned her mind around and told her that if it isn't true then she shouldn't let it bother her. Toastee took his advice and stayed...oh but I wish she didn't do that!

And the time came. Every bitch got a clock except for Nibblz and Toastee. It came time to find the tuth!

Foofy gave some speech about how one of the slut's was lying and blah blah blah...

Bitch in the back needs to take a hot comb to that shit!

Nibblz said (in her lisp of course): "I wouldn't be anything buth truthful...that's a promithe."

Toastee promised to Foofy that she didn't do porn.

And then bomb dropped! Foofy presented the girls with a picture of Toastee. Now, of course it was blurred but I'm guessing it was Toastee showing just how burnt her toast is. That didn't make sense, but you get my fucking meaning! Jesus, I'm drunk!

The girls were shocked! Delishis was blushing only because she hadn't seen a real life vagina before.

Like Dat said this about the picture: "Girlfriend's got her fingers where her girl fingers ain't supposed to be unless you're washing it."

Come on bitch, you know you don't wash it.

I think Buckwild had a little queef at the site of that picture. Come on, you know she likes the ladies.

That Nibblz made my Toastee cry and for that she will pay! I'll beat her ass down so hard that she won't lisp anymore! She cried telling us that it was something she was ashamed of and didn't want to end like that. Awww. DAMN YOU NIBBLZ!!!!

Nibblz had a closing line:

"I am thrilled that Flav beliethes that I'm the theal girl that he hath believed me to be thus far and I'm thrilled that I'm sthill here."

Just someone stick a dick in her lispy ass mouth!


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