Dlisted: {{{{{YAWN}}}}}

Monday, July 17, 2006

{{{{{YAWN}}}}}



Is there anything more boring than Katie Couric? Let me think…there’s watching paint dry… and umm…lets see…staring at the sun until you get black spots on your eyes…CSPAN is boring watching the grass grow… yeah, there’s just a few more boring things than her, but she’s in the news again.

Here’s what she has to say about taking over the job of newsanchor- WAIT—you mean there’s more on television than HGTV and the E! channel? I didn’t even know that nightly news still existed! I thought that went out with teased hair and orange tans.

“I'm really excited, obviously, to get started, to stop talking about this and actually to start doing the job," Couric said with that dopey lopsided grin of hers.

She is going to be the anchor and the editor of the show and if you ask me, that shit is pretty hot! Lucky her. She's going to be making more money than you or I or all of us put together will ever see. In one year she could totally fed not only Namibia, but the entire continent. Bitch! I hate her.

CBS news president Sean McManus said that with Katie on board, the news show will be: “...different, it will be new, it will be fresh and most of all it will be intelligent, it will be relevant and it will be transparent." HUH? Of course it will be new and different, its NEWS, it changes more often than Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend du jour!

By the way, how is news transparent? Oh, I get it! She’s going to be behind that big desk, wearing only saranwrap to boost ratings, wink wink. There will be a new set for her in the colors of pink and purple, Katie’s favorite, theme music will be a jaunty polka tune and puffy lettered graphics will be created for Couric.

And Tom Cruise would like everyone to start referring to her as Kate Couric now.

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