Where in the world is Suri Cruise?

Leah says the baby is a good combination of Tom and Katie. Which is funny because Suri isn't Tom's! She was created in a test tube on the Scientology compound...

Finally! Someone gets invited over to the Crazy Cruise's house to see baby Suri. So she does exist? Well, we still have to wonder since the first celebrity visitor to the house is actually a fellow freakologist. Leah Remini saw Suri with her own two eyeballs! Next Jenna Elfman is going to say how cute Suri is or something. I won't believe it until I see Suri in person. And I'm not taking Kirstie Alley's word for it either. Or John Travolta's.

I want the truth about this whole weird scam. You can't handle the truth! Yes I can! Make the voices stop! Xenu, is that you?

People magazine has the full report on Leah's visit. I'll believe Suri is alive and well and real when someone like, well...me, gets invited over for an afternoon of tea and anal probes.