Paris Hilton, this decades Icelandic Blonde!
Paris Hilton is soooo smart. Brilliant really. Her application to MENSA is under review this very minute. Paris says that she is much like Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana and she thinks she is this decades “Iconic Blonde”. Actually, she said she's this decades "Icelandic Blonde" but we think she meant "Iconic". Or like a blowdryer, "Ionic". Er...you never know with Paris.
And you know, people…peons…whatever, she may be blonde and pretend to be dumb but her brains are not merely diamond encrusted blobs of oatmeal, she is a very “savvy business woman!” Obviously, I mean, her dirty bedsheet eau de Paris is a top selling perfume! Right up there with Donald Trump’s cologne splash smelling like freshly minted dollar bills and Love’s Baby Soft.
The stream of genius continues as Paris rambles on in her monotone voice, "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, I'm that icon. I read these stories about me starting fights and saying stupid stuff. I've become a cartoon. Nobody seems to get that how I am on The Simple Life is a character. I even know what a (US discount store) Wal-Mart is. I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we're doing. We're smart blondes."
Duh! Why would you even mention Jessica Simpson? Everyone knows she’s a puppet and her daddy is the puppet-master: she's like a blow up doll with a voice box. If Paris was so smart then she would take a vow of celibacy and move to Idaho. I da ho? No, she’s the ho!
That was so bad, even I’m cringing.