George Michael Tapped This!
Don't be jealous. This dude could be yours too. All you have to do is hang out in a London park and he'll come by and lick you and down to completion. Sick! George Michael did this exact act and got caught limp-dick handed!
News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver.What the hell kind of culture calls you to have anonymous sex with just about anyone? Does Paris Hilton have some new cult that I haven't heard of?
When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed: "I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!"
When confronted by our team, a shaken George desperately tried to justify his sordid secret quest for cheap, risky thrills, which friends fear is spiralling out of control and threatening his destruction.
In a sweat, the ashen-faced singer declared: "Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!"
Then he claimed: "I'm not doing anything illegal. The police don't even come up here any more.
"I'm a free man, I can do whatever I want. I'm not harming anyone."
George does have a boyfriend too named Kenny Goss. Kenny issued this statement:"This is behind us.