Dlisted: George Michael Tapped This!

Monday, July 24, 2006

George Michael Tapped This!



Don't be jealous. This dude could be yours too. All you have to do is hang out in a London park and he'll come by and lick you and down to completion. Sick! George Michael did this exact act and got caught limp-dick handed!

News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver.

When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed: "I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!"

When confronted by our team, a shaken George desperately tried to justify his sordid secret quest for cheap, risky thrills, which friends fear is spiralling out of control and threatening his destruction.

In a sweat, the ashen-faced singer declared: "Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!"

Then he claimed: "I'm not doing anything illegal. The police don't even come up here any more.

"I'm a free man, I can do whatever I want. I'm not harming anyone."

What the hell kind of culture calls you to have anonymous sex with just about anyone? Does Paris Hilton have some new cult that I haven't heard of?

George does have a boyfriend too named Kenny Goss. Kenny issued this statement:

"This is behind us.

"That's everything we are going to say on the subject. We're getting on with the rest of our lives."

George denies that he did anything with the man and the man said they just kissed and touched each other.

[The Mirror]

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