Don't "Quote" Me, Britney

Britney Spears, you drive me crazy! Anybody that missed Brit's stunning interview filled with comedy on Dateline NBC missed the TV event of the year. I laughed, I cried, I threw up, I jacked off....oh it was like a night as Parasite Hilton. Let's just begin with that fucking clump that wouldn't leave her eyelashes! I mean...for a second I thought it was a nasty spider...cause you know that bitch doesn't know how to clean house.

Next, those tits! Her perky, pregnant nipples were begging to be let out of that nasty bra/tank top ensemble. Oh and what about her fucking house?! Tacky, shabby chic is so 1998.



And...let's get to the quotes she kept making....bitch doesn't know how to quote, but she loves to quote. Here's an example:

I think that 90% of the World would agree that the tabloids has gone a little "FAR" with me lately.

I mean...somebody needs to get her to "quote" class ASAP and if there isn't one, her fingers need to be cut off. Because she kept at it...



That's "quote" #2!



And "#3"



Yup, "#4"



And an off-camera "#5"



Who knows how many were edited out to keep us sane. Imagine having a conversation with this bitch and she keeps quoting. Anyway, look at that piece of trash. I mean if it wasn't for the mansion behind them, I would think it was a pregnant hooker and her parol officer strolling through the trailer park.



Dateline also had to remind us how hot Britney used to be. They literally showed us hot Britney at least two hundred times.



Before we get to my favorite moment..let's get to some great Britney quotes:

"I wouldn't be in danger if I didn't have this you know, impactful, thing around me."

on KFed leaving Shar Jackson while she was pregnant:

"Actually, I didn't know...I didn't know until two months later...but I don't blame him because him and his friends tell me...they weren't together when he came to me...they were a part. That happened to Julia Roberts too, but it's more talked about with me. Her husband was married and had kids when they got together." (He didn't have kids)

"I have a maid that comes once a week, but she slacks a little."

"We're country"

Now, let's get to the good part...Matt asked Britney if she wanted the paps to leave her alone....poor Britney cried...and I cried too...



And I cried...and she cried some more...and she said something about being normal people and then I kind of got grossed out...but I kept crying...



And she did too and then I looked at her and got grossed out some more and kind of had a strange craving for a deep fried twinkie...but I cried...



and when she kept crying...I realized she looks cute as an Asian and I kept crying...



Then she wiped her snot and I was back to bitch mode. That's just nasty! Bitch get a fucking kleenex!



But it still breaks my heart...ok not really...



Naw, she's still trash!



This interview will most likely hit youtube any moment now and then we can relive it over and over again. I missed a lot, but your hearts will fill in the blanks. I seriously went away loving her even more. Bitch is just country, mistakes paved roads for cobblestones, loves Goldie Hawn, and wants to hang out with her boo boos and whatever...

I leave you with a great KFed quote:

"I pay for everything out of pocket...everything"