Secrets of the American Idol Finale!

Wednesday night's American Idol finale plans to be a huge affair. So far, here are the details:

Carrie Underwear will perform some boring single of hers
Clay Aiken will do a tribute to Liberace
The band Live will perform with Chris Daughtry
Katharine McPhee will perform fellatio on Meat Loaf
Daniel Powter will sing that awful awful "Have a Bad Day" song
Elliott Yamin will perform with Mary J. Blige
Taylor Hicks will be crowned the winner

On Tuesday, Kat and Taylor will sing three songs including the American Idol single which some say has been written by Nick Lachey and former Idol contestant, Tamyra Gray.

And hopefully after Thursday we'll never hear from any of these people ever again! Well, that's until next season when they crawl back to perform their failed singles.

[Thx Stacy]