So You Say Your Husband Ain't Gay?!

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Al on first seeing Starlet: "The first time I saw her we were at a party, and she was such a sassy young woman. She had a hat on, like a cowboy hat, and she was smoking a cigar. And the time I wasn't into cigars, and I just sat in the corner and marveled at her."

Sassy? What self-respecting straight man would call a chick "sassy." That's even too gay for Carson Kressley!

"My life would be completely empty without her."

He means his wallet would be completely empty without her.

"When we met I thought she was definitely beautiful, and I'd never dated a full-figured woman before, but when we first started the conversation it was even. We talked about everything. We were like teenagers."

When he meant was he's never dated a WOMAN period before. They mostly talked about fashion and Barbie. They were like two best girlfriends!

[Thanks to Infobitch]