Dlisted: 12/25/2005 - 01/01/2006

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year's Bitches!!!



I'm back in New York and ready to get my Tara Reid going. I want to wish each and every one of you an amazing New Year's! Please have a sip of champagne and think of me or something like that. And don't fucking drunk dial me! I hate that shit unless it's sexy talk.

So thanks to all of you for making this year one of my best! You're all fucking hot shit!

Happy New Year's!

xoxoxoMichael K

Friday, December 30, 2005

Clay Aiken Finally Gets Some Tongue!



[JJB]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



the original cock block. - faith

Her Hand Was Never Heard From Again!



[Pic: Yeeah!] [Thanks to JAF!]

Attack of the Clones!



Screech & Nachos!!!

[Thanks to Bryant & Anita]

Hot Slut of the Day!


Batgirl!

Birthday Sluts



Matt Lauer (48)
Kristin Kreuk (23)
Eliza Dushku (25)
Tyrese Gibson (27)
Tiger Woods (30)
Heidi Fleiss (40)
Tracey Ullman (46)
Sheryl Lee Ralph (49)
James Burrows (65)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Donna Martin, We Don't Want to Know that You Have Sex!

Tori Spelling and her new gay fiancee spent Christmas Eve showing everyone how much in love they are. It's fucking disgusting. I don't need to see the daughter of Aaron Spelling getting her groove on even if it is PG groovin'.


Donna Martin, this is not acceptable!


He's a fag! He's after her Barbie collection.


Ok this is fine, just keep it at rated G. Anything a normal brother and sister can do, you can do Donna Martin!


This is not. Again he's a fag and he's pretending your ass belongs to some hot boy.


AHAHAHHAHAH! He's gonna get a dingle, I know it!

Ok folks, I'm off to Monterey today and staying there tonight. I'm totally going to act out scenes from Play Misty for Me and try to break into Oprah's house which isn't that far away. I'll be back in Los Angeles tomorrow and back to New York on Sunday. Dlisted will resume fulltime on Tuesday. You're all hot for putting up with my shenangians!

xoxoxoMichael K

Hot Slut of the Day!



Julia Louis-Dreyfus


[For Tushkin]

Birthday Sluts



Jude Law (33)
Diego Luna (26)
La Toya London (27)
Mekhi Phifer (31)
Leonor Varela (33)
Paula Poundstone (46)
Patricia Clarkson (46)
Yvonne Elliman (54)
Jon Voight (67)
Mary Tyler Moore (69)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

12 Months of Jordan is Like 12 Months of Heaven!



























Afternoon Crumbs

Victoria Silvstedt does what she does best! [Hollywood Tuna]

The Dunkin Donuts dude is dead! [Just Jared]
Jake Gyllenhaal loves wood! [Hollywood Rag]

Nick apparently tried to stop Chestica from filing for divorce! Yeah, because he fucking loves her cash! [Popbytes]

Scarlett Johansson gets $4 Million to dye her hair for L'Oreal. Because she's worth it! Wait, is that L'Oreal? [Egotastic!]

The Full Pitt



Brad Pitt is biting off of Jennifer Aniston by having his lawyer send a letter out threatening legal action to anyone who publishes pictures of him that were taken on his L.A. balcony. The letter didn't say what the pictures are of, but we can assume it must be something Bradley doesn't want us to see. Let's see, he can be nude or doing crack or possibly wearing a strap on for Angie.

Either way, I won't rest until I get these pictures!

Actually I'm going to rest now...with a donut...and a Frap....

P.S. - When I googled "Brad Pitt Shirtless" I got this pic. That's kind of funny. I said Kind of! Jeez!

[Page Six]

Balance Not Looking Good?





I love the ATM adventures of KFed! It's almost better than Passions!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Sean Lennon Quote of the Day!



"Any girl who is interested must simply be born female and between the ages of 18 and 45,"

"They must have an IQ above 130 and they must be honest. They must not have any clinical, psychological disorders . . . and a kind heart. Clearly beautiful - but beauty on the inside is more important - but no deformities, third legs, fifth nipples . . . I'm completely alone and I'm completely miserable. So please send your request to [PAGE SIX]."


[Page Six]

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is That?!



Penelope Cruz and the ever hunky Matthew are seen here shopping on Robertson What the hell is this chick wearing? She seriously looks like a disease is quickly taking over her body. Maybe that isn't a disease after all. Her vagina probably can't stand the heat from Matthew's sexiness, so it's sort of blooming all over my body.

Yeah that's it. That shit would happen to me too sans the vagina.



[Lime-Light]

Hot Slut of the Day!


Niecy Nash

Birthday Sluts



John Legend (28)
Sienna Miller (24)
Malcolm Gets (42)
Denzel Washington (51)
Maggie Smith (71)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Nachos Got a Haircut!





I'd still hit it. God, I'm so fucking disgusting!

I'm off to get some grub, y'all! I'm still in San Francisco and on vacation so I'm still on part-time posting. But I totally had a gang bang with like 10 leather daddies, so that makes up for it. Parasite Hilton is still a million times sluttier than I am.

xoxoxoMichael K

Bitch You're a Millionaire! Get Your Weave Did!



Poor Brit Brit Spears, I know her marriage sucks..but that doesn't mean she has to go outside with a fucking yarn looking weave on. Jamie Lynn is even laughing at her white trash ass. I will say that her body looks hot, but with jeans from JcPenney you can't really tell. KFed is sucking every dime from her ass, because look at her. I am worth like 1,000 times less than her ass and I look like fucking the Empress of Russia compared to her! Come on now.



Watch for the Break-Up in Three Weeks!

Tori Spelling is engaged after only being separated from her husband for 4 months. She has become engaged to actor Dean McDermott. He proposed to the horseface on Christmas Eve.

They said in a joint statement: "We're so incredibly happy and in love. We cannot wait to start our lives together,"

What's even more funny is he popped the question at a Christmas Tree farm in Toronto. How ghetto is that shit? You're on your knees asking some fug bitch to be your wife while trees are being cut down behind you. Really romantic.

Why are hot guys into her ass? Oh yeah, she's loaded. And after a second look, he's a total Monet as well. Those nasty ass bitches deserves each other.

[People]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Things just aren't the same at Coyote Ugly since Bai Ling hit it big and quit... - Daffyd

San Francisco Here I Come!



I'm leaving for San Francisco this morning, so I won't be posting until later on tonight. You sluts are hot for putting up with my absence these past few days, but it's vacation and all! I'll be back to posting fulltime next Tuesday. However, I'll still be posting these next few days. It will just be less frequent.

As for Bert and Ernie, I've thought it was the other way around...

Hot Slut of the Day!



Jennifer Beals

Birthday Sluts



Joanie Laurer aka Chyna (36)
Emilie de Ravin (24)
Wilson Cruz (32)
Eva LaRue (39)
Joe Mantello (43)
Gerard Depardieu (57)
Cokie Roberts (63)
Agnes Nixon (78)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Afternoon Crumbs

If John Mayer mated.... [City Rag]

Tony Parker and Eva LongWHORIA got into a fight with a police officer in San Antonio. Apparently the two started scream at the poor bicycle cop. That is so C-list. [Gabsmash]

KFed is Super Daddy! [Hollywood Rag]

Nicole Kidman meets Keith Urban's parents. [Just Jared]

HoHan and Wilmer are totally going to fuck again on NYE! [Egotastic!]

Celebrity Break-ups 2005 Edition. [Glitterati]

Michelle Trachtenberg is a low-rent HoHan. [Popsugar]

I'm disappointed that KFed's new website doesn't have nudey pics! [Popbytes]

Hot Slut of the Week: Sonia Manzano



Age: 55
Birthday:
1950
Birth Name:
Sonia Manzano

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: December 21, 2005
Claim to Fame: Duh! Maria from fucking Sesame Street!

Where is she now? Duh! Still playing Maria on Sesame Street!

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Anybody that can have a serious scene with a giant, yellow bird is hot in my book!

Lucy Liu and George Clooney Suck Face!



Lucy Liu and George Clooney have reportedly rekindled their romance for just one night. The two used to date a while back and were seen last week at Cipriani in NYC. After their romantic dinner, the two made out in his limo.

A witness said: "She looked like she was going to devour him,"

Lucy's spokeswhore would not comment.

All I can say is that I would love to see these two engage in hot buttercream sex. You know Lucy is some crazy, cross-eyed bitch in bed. And many of you know how I feel about the Clooney. Damn!

[Page Six]



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