Angie is Shrinking!

Angie Jolie picked up Maddox from school in Malibu yesterday and of course wore black. She mixed it up with a little grey which makes me kind of proud of her. However, I've noticed that she's been getting to so fucking skinny. She's like shrinking and shit.

Maddox is so awesome and that mofo knows it!

Adam Carrington Returns!

by Lahoma00

I just saw the trailer for Poseidon, which looks to be some hot shit, and to my utter shock and delight who is in it but Gordon Thomson, aka Adam Carrington from Dynasty! I thought I was on drugs, but I checked this shit against imdb and it's all true.



Finally, Gordon is making a career comeback! He's such a prissy fag, but I love his ass. This is the ultimate Kwanzaa gift from above. I hope he shares scenes with that slut Jacinda Barrett!

Brittany Murphy's Stretch-Marked Titties!

How does someone her age who hasn't had any kids get stretch marks all over their breasts? Can't she cover that crap up with pancake make-up or something? And why draw attention to them by lifting your breasts up even more! So many questions?!

See them up close!

[Egotastic!]

Weekend Crumbs

Another great actor kicks it! [Glitterati]

Gisele & Kelly are kind of a goofy couple. [Just Jared]

Renee Zellweger's spokeswhore wants us to know that THEY ARE NOT dating. She also says they might have had dinner together. They were probably just gabbing and exchanging beauty secrets. [Page Six]

Parasite beats out JLo for Peta's worst dressed list. Why? Did she make Baby Luv into a coat? [Gabsmash]

John Mayer thinks Kanye West is a little woman. Haha...awesome! [Hollywood Rag]

Mr. Winkle can not be real. While others think he's cute, I think he's creepy! [Celeboganda!]

Wipe Your Ass With Some Posh!

OH HELL NO! They did not make toilet paper with the most gorgeous woman in the world's face on it. This ain't right. However, she's done a lot of shit kissing so it's pretty much appropriate. You are only $24 away from having your very own toilet paper roll with Posh Beckham's gorgeous face all over it. If you've wanted to sit on her face, now is your chance!

The perfect stocking (and asshole) stuffer!

Click here to order today!

[Thanks again to Courtney!]

Back to Pink

Where has Pink been? Probably face first in a basket full of muffins, if I ain't being too subtle! But she's returned to us and back to having pink hair. I actually like this chick. Her music isn't that bad and she seems to be into her own thing. But, please tuck the thong in. It's not 1999!

Merry Christmas from TomKitten!

Someone please save him!

[iVillage] [Thanks to ffleur]

Dessarae Bradford is Cuckoo!

Dessarae Bradford is this low-rent phone-sex operator who sued Colin Farrell for harassing her ass. She also claims that she fucked Alec Baldwin and even published a book with the title "I Fucked Alec Baldwin in His Ass". This hooker is not right. She recently went on PAX TV's show called Lie Detector and miserably failed a lie detector test about having sex with both those men. She cursed out the host and claimed that her test was rigged.

Colin Farrell of course denies that he ever met her ass. Dessarae has just issued a dance song in which she just repeats over and over "I fucked Alec Baldwin, Colin Farrell is my bitch."

When she was told that Alec Baldwin denies ever meeting her, she said:

"Oh God, of course he would say that. But it happened, trust me. I still have the vibrator. Maybe I can scrape off the evidence and get a DNA sample or something?"

Hmm....this is someone desperately trying to get famous at any cost and miserably failing. Well, honey you can always go back to phone fucking!

Since When is Usher a Scientologist?

Usher attended that Scientology event in NYC to help the firefighters of 9/11. He was there with TomKat. Is he really a Scientology or just looking to dabble. Someone told me that Scientologists claim they can cure being a fag, so maybe that's why he's checking into it.

But it hasn't worked for Tom! Katie is a giant! She could take both of them!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Orange Blossom from Strawberry Shortcake

Birthday Sluts

Milla Jovovich (30)
Giovanni Ribisi (31)
Sean Patrick Thomas (35)
Gregg Araki (46)
Bill Pullman (52)
Eugene Levy (59)

Chestica Files For Divorce!

Duh! Like they were really going to make it. Chestica filed for divorce from Nick Lachey today citing the good ole': irreconcilable differences. She has also requested that her name be changed back to Simpson officially. She is not asking for any spousal support.

But I beet you HE'S going to ask for support! God, I hope this gets as ugly as Chestica's sister!

[People]

Merry Christmas from The Pitts!

Like they are going to be together that long!

[Todd Umbarger]

Would You Hit It?

What happened to George Michael? I know we've all been asking that, but he stills looks like this! These pictures were taken last night. He used to be so fucking hot, but now he's turning into a corpse! And not a hot corpse either and trust me there are hot corpses. I've seen them on Six Feet Under. At least his boyfriend is not attractive either. I hate when fuglies are with hotties!

Uma's Cherry Nipple!

It looks soft! It looks like a disease too!

[Goldenfiddle]

Julianne Moore is Perfection

Afternoon Crumbs

Romeo injured himself, so he won't be featured in Dancing with the Stars. His daddy Master P will take his place. Injured? He just didn't want to look like a fag! [Concrete Loop]

Why is Matthew McConaughey so fucking hot?! [Just Jared]

Katie Holmes' birthday party makes me wants to get drunk and hurl. I don't know why I said that, but probably because I'm drunk right now! [Hollywood Rag]

Teri Snatcher has won a libel case against a British newspaper that said she bones dudes in a van parked in her yard. Duh! Everybody knows that the van is parked on the street! [Reuters]

I like the Denise Richards that doesn't cover her ass! [Hollywood Tuna]

Howard Stern gracefully signs off from free radio. [People] [Thanks to Rollerslut]

Who Would Run This Country Better?

[TadSpot] [Thanks to Colleen!]

My Little Pony Parker Quote of the Day!

"Both myself and my son are more accustomed to having him (Matthew Broderick) gone in the evenings, so when he's actually home and he's not working in the theatre, it's honestly more of an adjustment to actually have him in the house interrupting our (routine)."

[Thanks to DobryDen]

Posh is Beyond Gorgeous!

Posh Beckham is seriously a gross woman, but I can't help be entranced by her. She does look like an alien, but I think she's only doing that because she wants to get on Tom Cruise's good side. You know how they are friends and all. Tom probably likes her, because he believes she's the alien princess brought to earth to bring him peace or whatever.

That's her sister who is totally normal, except Posh's style has totally vomited all over the poor thing!





[Popsugar] [Thanks Courtney!]

Move Over Eminem!

Here comes Mike Ditka, the next great white rapper! Was this shit hot like in the 80s, because it's hotter than shit right now! Watch this shit, I'm totally going to play this jam at my family Christmas party. I can't wait to see my aunt krump to this. Old and new, old and new... We've come full circle!

YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT!

[Thanks to Superview]

Rachel McAdams has Hairy Nips!

We've all seen the nipple slip. Click here and look closer. She has hair all over it. Can't she pluck that shit?! I know people get that shit, but keep it trim. Rachel call me, I'll give you the digits to my electrolycist.

[I Don't Like You in That Way] [Thanks to April!]

Who Are You Kidding?

Why are Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney continuing this charade? Don't they know that we know he likes dick and she likes coke. Come on, it was cute the first time. It's just desperate and ugly now. According to several sources the two have had several secret dates in New York City and Connecticut. Yes the secret dates were together.

One witness said: "They just kept looking at each other. They were cuddling during their meal."

They were probably staring at each other so hard, because Kenny was trying to turn her into a 9" dick and she was trying to turn him into a pork chop. She's hungry!

[Ireland Online]

Elton John Coke Blocks Donatella Versace

Picture this: You are Donatella Versace, you are wearing some ugly frock that you sort-of designed, you love champagne, you love coke even more. You've invited that fag Elton John over to party. "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches comes on the radio and that's your jam, so you head to the powder room to get a little powder. Suddenly, the nastiest man you've ever seen blocks you. It's Elton John and you're confused, but you try and get around his fat arm. He blocks you and says there's a jet waiting. You say "fabulous, let me get my bikini!" But it's not going to St. Tropez, it's going to Arizona. You hate Arizona, but that's where REHAB is. Oh no, not rehab.

This is a true story. Sad but true.

Donatella said: "On June 30 [2004] Elton was in my house in Milan, along with a few friends. I went to the bathroom to powder my nose and they blocked me. They told me there was a plane about to depart for Arizona.

"I was shocked but I understood the time had come. I slipped into a tracksuit and ... alone and with no make up, caught the plane."

Please don't take coke away from Donatella. She won't be the same. I like her just the way she is. Coked up and with a penis!

[Female First]

Why Are They Always So Sad?

Don't get me wrong, I love Nicole Richie. I honestly do, she's one of my favorites. However, I have to call this bitch out. We're cool like that. When she first lost all that weight, she seriously looked hot. And then the weight kept dropping and now she makes my neighborhood alley cat look like a fucking heffer. She looks sad and scraggly. I love how Mischa Barton looks so fat standing next to Richie. My fish is even fatter than Richie.

Maybe if she eats a fucking Oreo she'd be a lot happier. And shopping doesn't seem to cure her blues, because she does it every second!

Ashlee Simpson Collapsed! Hooray!

One can only hope. No, I don't want that bitch to die. I just want her vocal chords to suddenly snap. I'm already on a one-way ticket to Hell, I might as well go first class.

Ashlee Simpson was performing in Japan when she fucking collapsed! Ashlee had just performed her single Boyfriend when she said she felt unwell and told the audience she loved them. A few moments later she collapsed in an elevator and was rushed to a nearby hospital. Her spokeswhore has confirmed all of this and no word yet on how she's doing.

I personally don't think it's drugs. I would say the bitch doesn't eat. She's totally the type. I mean she was at McDonald's for godsakes. Anorexics LOVE Mcdonald's. Anyway, eat some sushi and get better. Maybe this will teach you to leave the singing to your slutty sister.

[US Weekly] [Thanks to the hotness known as April]

Ewwww

I Guess He Needed More Publicity!

Talan Torriero and Kimbo Stewart called off their "engagement" like a couple of weeks ago. They hit Club Mood a couple of nights ago in full force. The full force being Kimbo's hideous fucking outfit. At least it distracts from her monster face.

Talan is totally with this ho, because she's the only famous chick desperate enough to want to hang out with him on a daily basis. He's shameless.

Tara Reid's Vagina Traps Honeymooner!

Recently married Joe Scarborough and his wife Jennifer Hagel Smith were honeymooning on the Greek isle of Mykonos when he disappeared after falling overboard on their cruise ship. Just hours before Joe managed to get a picture with Tara Reid who was in Greece filming her now cancelled show Taradise for E!. Joe was apparently so star struck by her according to his wife.

She said: "He finally worked up the courage and asked her for a picture, which I still have," "He was so proud of that picture."

Darling, your husband didn't fall overboard. He was the latest victim of Tara Reid's man-eating vagina.

[Page Six] [Big Thanks to InfoBitch]

Randal Wins The Apprentice, But Snubs Rebecca!

Last night was the season finale of The Apprentice. This season was honestly one of the best because the final 2 were both people that deserved to win. Most of the previous contestants seemed to be with Randal for the win, especially with Alla. Alla is a dumb stripper bitch though. She's honestly so jealous of Rebecca, because she wants to be the most powerful woman in the room.

Basically, I kind of knew Randal was going to win. When Donald Trump declared Randal hired, he also asked him if he should also hire Rebecca. To which Randal basically said "No". Now, first of all I think it was highly unfair for Trump to ask Randal of this. Trump should've just hired both of them, because they were both equally hot. Second of all, Randal is a complete ass for not saying yes or even saying "I can't make that decision, but if you feel that she's deserving then by all means you should hire her". Right?

I became quite disappointed with Randal throughout the final boardroom, because he basically attacked Rebecca. Rebecca being the classy bitch that she is completely kept her cool and only said good things about him.

With all that being said, this was one of the hottest season's ever and I hope Trump hires Rebecca anyway!

The Dlisted Report

Bruce Willis has signed on to star in Morgan's Summit for director Tom Schulman. Willis will play a radio host whose latenight show is devoted to songs and stories that promote the power of kindness. His devotion to redemption changes when a brutal crime affects his life, and his thoughts turn to vengeance. [Variety]

Our Family Troubles has been acquired by Reese Witherspoon to produce and a possibility to star in. The drama, which will get a new title, casts Witherspoon as a first-time mother so plagued by unexplained phenomena that she doubts her own sanity. When she returns to her Tennessee home, she fixates on the legend of the Bell Witch and becomes convinced the evil spirit is intent on harming her son. [Variety]

Kate Beckinsale will join Sam Rockwell in Snow Angels. Beckinsale will play a small-town waitress who has suffered through a tumultuous relationship with her estranged husband (Rockwell). Shooting on this indie film begins this February. [Variety]

Ali G actor Sacha Baron Cohen will star in Curly Oxide and Vic Thrill, a script written by Tina Fey and produced by Lorne Michaels. Cohen will play Curly Oxide, the rock moniker adopted by a young Hasidic Jew who wandered into the Brooklyn bar where a drunken Vic Thrill played his raucous rock. The duo headed to Thrill's recording studio and began laying down tracks that mixed their musical styles with playful lyrics. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

THE TOP 5 (in no particular order):

mariah carey auditions for the dukes of hazzard. - Anonymous 2:00pm

I guess the junk is no longer in the trunk... - I Heart Michael K

Holy shit, where did I put my fucking keys? - Elinorianne

Booby-trapped! - GG's Avatar

Mariah EATS Aretha to become the new queen of soul. - Peter A


[Thanks to Allison]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Marilyn Vos Savant of Ask Marilyn

[For Rollerslut]

Birthday Sluts

Benjamin Bratt (42)
Paul Van Dyck (34)
Miranda Otto (38)
Jon Tenney (44)
Steven Bocho (62)
Liv Ullmann (67)

Linus, You Don't Have to Wait Any Longer!

Katie Holmes was in NYC Thursday and did some shopping as well as dining at Fresco. Readers Lucky & Foxy were at the restaurant when Katie and her entourage entered the restaurant. They say there were seriously like a dozen people including 3 bodyguards protecting the alien fetus. They also say that like scientology advisors were with their asses. Lucky & Foxy also told me she was wearing the fugliest coat. They got that right.

Linus, the fucking great pumpkin has finally arrived!



Here's the pic Foxy & Lucky sent me from their cameraphone with Katie's fucking entourage!




[Thanks Lucky & Foxy]

Gwen Stefan is Totally Pregnant!

Gwen Stefani is totally pregnant. She honestly will show her ass and abs for any reason. She's made changes to her costumes to show less of her hot stomach. She has also cancelled plans for her sophomore album to drop at the end of the year sparking rumors that she wants to take some time to chill out before she drops a baby. Expect a fucked baby name!







[We Love Celebs]

Victoria Principal in space!

by Lahoma00



Victoria Principal is going to rocket out into outer space! Yes, you sluts heard it right---Pamela Barnes Ewing just threw down $200,000 to blast off in 2008. Vicki broke the story on Entertainment Tonight, because the New York Times was too busy to report this top news story.

You know she's just going up there because the Principal Secret isn't working anymore, and she needs the Zero G to hold her face up!

Luke Wilson's Not Looking So Hot!

I think starring in a movie with My Little Pony Parker makes you fug out. He looks straight up puffy.

[Smart] [Thanks DF!]

Chanel Has Hit Rock Bottom

HoHan will be the new face of Chanel replacing Kate Moss.

HoHan said: "I'm shooting with Karl Lagerfeld! It's amazing. I'm so excited. I think it's for a magazine."

This is like trading your Bentley in for a 1975 Pinto.

[Contact Music] [Thanks Alb!]

The Nicole Richie Fug Glasses Syndrome Gets Another Victim!

Does She Ever Stop Smiling?!

Seriously! Someone is removing the jam from your toes and you're still smiling? She's hot though.

Get Better Marlie!

Marlie Casseus is a 14yo Haitian girl that underwent surgery to have a 16lb tumor removed from her face. The young girl suffers from a rare form of polyostotic fibrous dysplasia, a nonhereditary, genetic disease that causes bone to form “like a big a bowl of jelly with some bone inside,” according to Dr. Jesus Gomez of University of Miami School of Medicine, one of the doctors involved in the operation. It took doctors nearly 16 hours to complete the surgery.

Don't worry Marlie..you look fug now, but you'll be so hot!

[All Headline News]

Afternoon Crumbs

Dolly Parton is seriously the hottest person on this earth [Daily Dish]

I know millions of you love the very boring Rachel McAdams. So you should get wood for her nipple slip then [IDLYITW]

The last thing I need to see is Kelly Osbourne's bare back! I looked anyway [Hollywood Rag]

Brandon Routh is a big flamer [Just Jared]

Parasite Hilton talks to Fred Durst as her tits falls out! It's awesome! [Popsugar]

King Kong racist?! Yes! A group is saying that Kong stands for the black man. Now who's racist? [WWTDD]

Katie Holmes is a giant that Tom Cruise just can't let go of! [Celeboganda!]

Fishsticks Quote of the Day!

On saying London was dirty:

‘Oh please, that’s bullshit! I never said anything bad about London. I was probably saying that about New York. I never said London was dirty, otherwise I wouldn’t live here.’

Um, doesn't she live in New York too?

[Thanks to Alb!]

Erika Scheimer is crazy!

by Lahoma00

Last night Michael K and I dined like the fucking ladies we are at Applebee's in Times Square. Let me tell you, this is some fine dining. We were the most pristine fucking women in that place.

Anyway, that bitch MK got me the hottest Kwanzaa Present: The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special!



You people all have to buy this. The special features are so bizarre. The best is the He-Man/She-Ra music video entitled "I have the power." Yes, these two sluts have their own music video! They are hotter than Tatu!

The whole thing is introduced by Erika Scheimer, one of the hottest bitches around.



She's responsible for voicing characters like Teela and Queen Angella. She's fucking insane. She spends the whole interview acting like she's coked up and talking about how He-Man changed the world and shit. Which it fucking did!

Anyway, she apparently wrote the song "I have the power" and it is fucking hot
shit! The video is supposed to be He-Man and She-Ra singing, but it's just footage that's been copied and pasted from different episodes. The sluts aren't even mouthing the right words. She also wrote this Christmas song on the special that's so horrible, it makes Heidi Klum singing the alphabet sound like Mimi Carey! But Erika thinks it's the finest music. I remember being six watching the special and thinking it was a piece of shit!

God Bless Erika Scheimer! Without her, the world would be devoid of beautiful music and the melliflous and dulcet tones of Teela's voice!

It's Rehearsal for Their Own Wedding!

Closet-dykes Penny Cruz and Salma Hayek want desperately to be Elton John's bridesmaids in his VERY GAY wedding to David Furnish. They are totally taking notes.

David said:"Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek (asked). I kid you not.

"At the Cannes Film Festival they both stopped me and asked if they could be bridesmaids."

Carpet munching aside, Salma has some huge chi-chi's!

[Contact Music]

"I Am Not Boning Angie"

Jenny Shimizu has denied that she is still boning Angelina Jolie. She said that The Sun's story is completely false and she's considering suing there asses, but she needs a lawyer. Broke bitch! She also said that Angie called her 3 days earlier to warn her.

Yeah more like Angie wired her a check 3 days before to pay her off!

Watch the denial!

[Thanks to Janette]

Seriously, Which One is More Hideous?

You Know This Bitch Has Diseases Beyond HIV!

Pete Doherty's former drug dealer is begging that bitch to have a HIV test after he tested positive for the virus himself. DAMN! You know your life is a mess when YOUR DEALER has to urge you to get tested for a disease that you could very well have.

Owen O'dwyer the dealer said: "I'm terrified Pete might have HIV.

"I had no idea I had the disease when we were doing drugs - I want him to know this was not intentional.

"We didn't share needles but we kept our needles in the same glass. I'm worried blood on the needles may have mixed."

Owen has been Pete's main dealer for about 3 years. Oh hell naw! I'm not even going to THINK about Kate Moss having that shit.

Oh and when I googled Pete Doherty I found this pic. I like it. It's fresh,

[Yahoo UK News] [Thanks to Josh!]

From Bones to Bacon!

Looks like DJ AM has decided to go with a girl that had some junk in the trunk after being with a 10yo boy for so long. DJ AM and a mystery chick are seen here having a lunch at Fred Segal in West Hollywood. It's probably good being with a girl with some ass for a change. Nicole probably screamed from pain too much when he did her doggy style because her bones couldn't take it. But you know this chick can take a pounding like a champ.

$3,000 for Pictures of Trash

Some stupid asshole is selling 80 pictures from Brit Brit and KFed's honeymoon in Fiji. They promise that these pictures are very private. But are they doing the deed? That's all I care about.

I love the sample they provide. That convinces me to shell out $3,000.

If any of you have that kind of dough to waste, buy me this instead or I guess you can bid on these fugly pictures.

[Thanks to April]

Jennifer Aniston Didn't Burn Her Wedding Dress!

So she says, but you know she did. Jennifer Aniston is responding to all of the rumors out there about her and her marriage to Brad Pitt. Jennifer can do nothing, but laugh. It keeps her from crying.

She said: "There was one time where someone just listed all these facts they had gotten off the internet. I do not think that one of them was correct.

"From taking strip pole dancing aerobics to some karate tae bo yoga thing to burning my wedding dress on the beach."

She has also denied that she's pregnant with Vince Vaughn's baby. I haven't even heard that rumor. Interesting. Damn that baby would be dull and ugly. However, she would like to have a baby next year.

"I hope to be on the road to having a family in the next year. Ideally, I'd like to have a couple (of children), but who knows? That's part of the unknown that I like."

[Monsters and Critics]

Brad Pitt Looks Dirty

Brad Pitt is seen here having dinner with some chick who isn't Angelina Jolie. I don't think Angie has anything to worry about, that chick is not hot. I love how she looks like she's scared of him. She knows that if she stands too close Angie will remove her clit. Brad has seen better days. He fucking needs a mystic tan.

Daryl Hannah Can't Get Work

Daryl Hannah will not be spending her Christmas holidays opening presents and drinking delicious hot chocolate. She will instead be in an undisclosed location filming an important documentary on human trafficking. Wasn't that a TV movie with Mira Sorvino? Copycat!

Anyway, this issue is very near and dear to Daryl since she used to sell herself to truckers when she was just 11-years old. Just kidding, she didn't do that.

She said: "There are more slaves now than at any other time in human history. "So I'm going to go over there and me and a friend of mine are going to go undercover. We're going to dress like a twisted couple and go into these brothels and things.

"My friend actually rescues slaves. He actually busts them out and rescues them. I have some disguises but I can't reveal what they are.

"Unfortunately, it's real and it's really, really sad. I went over to some of these countries in August and did some filming."

She really has a beautiful soul and a heart of gold. Daryl just don't wear your costume from Steel Magnolias, that made you look fug.

[iAfrica]

Posh Screams at an Old Lady!

Posh Beckham is said to be jealous at a 50-year-old woman! Posh is afraid that Spanish actress Ana Obregon will steal her man! Ana has been linked to David Beckham in the past and is known for trying to snag Posh's main meal ticket. The two bumped into each other at a gym in Madrid when Posh let all her rage flow.

A witness said: "They were screaming at each other. It wasn't pretty. Luckily it didn't come to blows."

Posh apparently told Ana: "Why would he be interested in an old lady like you? Leave my husband alone."

She also told Ana to put some fucking clothes on, because Ana was wearing hot pants. Ahahahah!!!

A spokeswhore for Posh said: "We're not going to comment as it will only give this publicity-seeking woman even more exposure."

Ana may be 50, but she's fucking hot as shit! Click here to see a picture of her in a bikini. She has a better body than Posh! Posh knows what's she's doing. She should just slip some arsenic into her diaper and poison that bitch's vagina!

[Female First] [Thanks to Courtney]

Is That Blood in Her Nostril?

Click on the image to enlarge and tell me if that's blood coming out of HoHan's left nostril. Fix your shit in the ladies room, damn! No fucking shame! And wearing glasses don't make you look smart, that's a myth! You look like a porn star playing a businesswoman in a movie. He's totally gonna cum all over the lenses. However, furry tampons are hot.

[Thanks to Pablo]

Radar No More

What?! I loved Radar Magazine, but unfortunately it is no more. The staff was told yesterday that the fucking fun and games are over. God, I'll miss those clever covers and amazing interview. The one about Star Jones at a pie-eating contest was one of my favorites.

R.I.P. Radar Magazine!

[Gawker]

Lady in the Water

Plot: Apartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep rescues what he thinks is a young woman from the pool he maintains. When he discovers that she is actually a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the journey back to her home, he works with his tenants to protect his new friend from the creatures that are determined to keep her in our world.

Stars: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Freddy Rodriguez & Jeffrey Wright
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan

Due: July 21, 2006

The Dlisted Report

The Nicolas Cage starrer Ghost Rider has been pushed back from July 14, 2006 to February 2007. The $120 Million film has been pushed back, because Sony has overloaded its 2006 schedule and needs to move some projects. [Variety]

Sweet Charity starring Christina Applegate will close on Broadway New Year's Eve. The show was hoping to bring a big star on board and continue, but a star could not be found and the show must now close. [Playbill]

Growing Up Gotti and Airline have both been cancelled after 3 seasons on A&E. Dog the Bounty Hunter and Inked have been picked up by the network for another season. [Reality Blurred]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 5 (in no particular order):

Margurite Perrin's God Warriors pose for their annual yearbook photo. - DSS

"...from these cold, dead vaginas..." - Anonymous 2:09pm

March of the Penguins - Jennifer

So this is what happens when you dont have any dick in your life! - smh

the cast of "Annie get your Nun" - Anonymous 4:55pm


[Thanks to DobryDen]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Sade

Birthday Sluts

Adam Brody (26)
Surya Bonaly (32)
Stuart Townsend (33)
Helen Slater (42)
Julie Taymor (53)
Don Johnson (56)

Say Something Nice

Hilary Ruff: Um...her teeth are probably minty fresh like most chicklets are!

He's So Fucking Cool!

I hope he asks me to the dance! KFed is like so rock awesome! Have you seen his wheels?! It's so radical and he even has his wheels personalized. Only like movie stars do that. I think I'm in love. I'll totally swallow if he asks me too!

Um...Aren't You Supposed to Remove the Sticker Before Wearing?

I'm Digging Lauryn's New Look

Ok she kind of looks like a fucking clown, but I'm digging that shit. I just hope she's hiding a proper follow-up album in that fucking fro. How do you suck dick with that thing on? Seriously.

Nicole Richie is Pissed!

Ain't nobody lookin' like a bug but Richie! Here's JLo shooting some more scenes for that weird movie El Cantante on Roosevelt Island in NYC. Besides the glasses, this heffer actually looks hot. I'm praying for her to fall down those stairs though. Oh and another 60 animals died for that coat and don't tell me it's fake. This is the woman who wore mink eyelashes to the Oscars!

Beautiful Agony

This website basically features people having orgasms. The website reads:

Beautiful Agony is dedicated to the beauty of human orgasm. This may be the most erotic thing you have ever seen, yet the only nudity it contains is from the neck up. That's where people are truly naked.

The videos were made in private by the contributor (and sometimes their partner). We don't know what they're doing, or how they are doing it, we just know it's real and it's sexy as hell. Make your ears blush by putting on your headphones and turning the sound to eleven.

It's not sexy at all. If I look like that when I'm cumming remind me never to cum again. Actually, I take that back. They seriously look like their in pain, especially the chicks. I bet you taking a dump and dumping jizz look the same. Someone should compare. They have free samples to check out. Now don't jack it at work! Leave that for later.

Beautiful Agony

[Thanks to KK]

Back to the Old Routine

Now that his marriage looks like it's back on, KFed is back to his old self. He's driving that Ferrari of his and smoking up a storm. Here he is on his way golfing, because that's what he does best. You know that Sprite is spiked with rum.

Afternoon Crumbs

Anderson Cooper finally faces the camera and I'm sure glad he did. [Jossip]

Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling could be engaged? Rachel who, Ryan who? Engaged what? Who cares?! [Egotastic!]

HoHan and Kelly Osbourne made a visit to Disneyland yesterday. Kelly in mouse ears is just plain tragic. [Just Jared]

Annie Lennox has no idea who Orlando Bloom is. She probably mistook him for just another crazy fag. [Gabsmash]

Did KFed rip Brit Brit a new one in an interview or not? I can't take it! [City Rag]
Gisele Bundchen and Kelly Slater hanging out in Hawaii looks exactly like you think it would. [Hollywood Rag]

The Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin custody battle is getting ugly. Now chocolate is involved! Chocolate! Leave my beloved good friend out of this! [IDLYITW]

Vintage Parasite Corn Row Pics

Where's the Dogcatcher?

Kimbo Stewart looks like a beat-up Chinese Crested as she picks up some food at Koo Koo Roo. Even that plastic bag looks hotter than she does. It never gets old making fun of her. She brought it on herself by making fun of everybody else.

Ewww and when you pee on your pants, clean that shit up before leaving your crib!

I'm So Glad They've Remained Friends!

Because they look unbelievably happy! Look at them. They can't get enough of each other. This is seriously the happiest they have ever looked. They are probably better friends than lovers. So, it's like the opposite of that Michael Bolton song: How Can We be Friends if We Can't be Lovers?

Or something.

Star Jones Can Help You

I swear on Al Reynold's cum-filled stomach that Star Jones has her nerve. She has written a book about how finding love changed her life. Who did she find love with? The surgeon that performed her gastric bypass? Yeah that makes sense.

Here's just a snippet of what you can learn:

Shine is divided into three main sections, each exploring core issues of interest to women. Part One guides women toward being their most attractive physical selves using Star's personal secrets on losing weight and finding hair, fashion, and makeup chic (inexpensively). Part Two asks tough questions about emotional preparedness for a relationship and shows you how to think like lawyers, and how to get your financial and emotional houses in order. Part Three delves into a woman's spiritual life -- discover how to talk to God no matter what your religion. Spiking the book are Star's "absolutes" -- truisms that have always worked for her and continue to give her guidance -- quizzes and self-assessment exercises that will help you focus on your particular strengths and weaknesses.

Everyone knows Star Jones Reynolds is a success story, a happy, rough-edges-to-emotional-and-financial-riches tale. Until you read this book, you won't know how she got there -- and how you can echo her triumphs and shine.

Sorry folks I know this sounds like the perfect stocking stuffer, but you can't get this literary masterpiece until January.

[Harper Collins]

Jake's Jacket is Melting!

Jake's in Berlin promoting Jarhead. Like, why bother? That jacket is seriously melting and it ain't because he's hot. He's totally not looking hot in these pics. Dare I say my love for Toothy is dying. He just doesn't do it for me anymore. OMG, I'm totally melting inside like that jacket.

You Know if a Porn Star is Grossed Out by You...

..that you have serious issues. Courtney Love was on Howard Stern when she became completely hypnotized by a porn-star's breasts. The porn star was Houston, one of the biggest in the biz. In 1999 she beat the gang bang world record at the time by banging 620 dudes. Her mother must've been proud.

Anyway, they were both on and Courtney started touching her tits!

She said: "They are really good. They are huge."

Courtney kept on stroking her breasts and Houston finally said: "I love Courtney"

You must be totally dark-sided if a porn-star is completely grossed out by your hands on her breasts!

[Female First]

Why is She So Happy?

She's happy because she knows 100 furry friends gave their life so her fat face wouldn't freeze. That coat is the shit thought. If I was that security guard, I'd rip that shit off of her. She's probably smiling too, because people are calling her names. They teach you to keep it strong in the Bronx. She's just Jenny from the Block.



She's also shooting some scenes for that weird movie. Seriously, everytime I see her filming this movie she's in a totally completely get-up. WTF is this shit about? It's going to be complete disaster. She's going to pray for Gigli once the reviews come out for this one.



[Lime-Light]

Jordan is a Dumb Bitch!

Jordan seriously wants to be a Guess girl. Too bad she's such a piece of trash, but so stunningly gorgeous. She's like glittery trash. Honestly. Anyway, she was at the opening of a Guess store in the UK and put on the pout and stuck out her tits for the cameras. She also made sure to show her signature pink undies. Word is that Jordan saw this as an audition to be the next Guess girl. But me thinks the "real" audition will take place with her on her knees in front of all the execs.



Oh and she's totally not going to get the job. The dumb bitch wore a Guess belt....UPSIDE DOWN!



Well, you can't have beauty AND brains.

[Sky Showbiz] [Thanks Gabsmash!]

I Saw Carmen Kissing Santa Clause!

And he's not into it. He probably knows he's getting herpes at that moment. She has it, trust me. I think he's farting too, she does that to people.



Her hubby used to be hot and now he's just sick. He's the next Ozzy Osbourne and I mean that in a bad way.

She Has Every Right!

Jessica Alba and entourage showed up to the Misshapes party at NYC's Don Hill's on Saturday night and was quickly let in. The head promoter then asked her if she would pose for a picture. Jessica quickly declined. The promoter then said that bitches like Madonna, Hilary Duff and Kelly Osbourne posed.

She replied with: "I Don't Care!"

A member of Jessica's Alba told him: "She's a bitch, sorry"

Jessica has every right to be a fucking bitch! She's gorgeous as fuck! If baby don't wanna pose for a picture, baby doesn't have to! Can't a hot chick just get drunk, snort coke and dance with her top off like any other girl. No fucking manners!

[Page Six]

Quick Somebody Push Him!

Tom Cruise will be on a Tribeca rooftop tonight. All of y'all meet me there so we can put an end to this misery he's caused us. Actually, he'll be on this rooftop because he's taking part in a controversial Scientology benefit. Get this shit, the benefit is to raise funds for a Scientology program that claims to be healing firefighters and rescue workers who breathed toxic smoke on 9/11.

Tom is a co-founder of the New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project, and declares, "More than 500 individuals have recovered health and job fitness through this project,— but for thousands more, the passage of time is only bringing more suffering. The strain on their lives, their families and their careers is tremendous."

Tickets starts at $6k. I'm not trying to be an ass, but is this like a serious cause? Can't they just get ahumidifierr or hepa-filter? I think they are using these dudes to brainwash and sacrifice to the aliens!

[Page Six]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

From Ted Casablanca:

Stealth Stud-Poof has it all. He's got a decent bod; a procreating, talented gal; and a well-respected and sizzling career. Not to mention a great ass and a boyfriend who knows what to do with it. The butt, that is, not the job stuff.

See, Toothy Tile is not (by far) the only homo in Hollywood who likes to push the fruitcake-covered envelope. Uh-uh, no way.

Whereas our loveable, somewhat confused Tooth is constantly trying to figure out just what the hell he wants to do with his life--sexuality being not the least of his concerns--Stealth has known from his relatively flashy get-go what he wanted in life: a glitzy career, a wife and family and--most definitely--a b-f on the side.

And he got it all--plus more money and job accolades than he ever expected. But here's what S.S.-P. wasn't counting on: a lover so bossy Leona Helmsley looks like Snow White by comparison.

At first it was fine and cute. The side-screw was sufficiently content to be relegated to where mistresses usually are: wink-wink, off in a discreet corner, where only certain in-the-know members of Stealth's inner sanctum were aware. Everybody got along. This was before said boy-mistress decided his very convincing reincarnation of Eva Perón was in order. And so, the dictator-channeling upstart began (with Stealth's quasi-reluctant approval) ridding Mr. Stud-Poof's life of all that didn't please the new Eva.

Which meant off with anybody's head who didn't approve of Queen Boyfriend becoming a royal attachment to Stealth's increasingly more visible side, wife included.

And now? The unlikely ménage à tricky trois is living together. Or not. Stealth's got a few pads round the globe. And his Hollywood place? Well, gosh, doesn't seem to be too much room for the missus here, now does there?

So, Stealth's rather horrified friends are now waiting for the wife-unit to blow the cover on the whole mess. Don't count on it. I find in these prickly, often legally complex scenarios, the tryst-seeking tabloids usually beat the crossed housewife to the proverbial punch.

And it ain't: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Will Smith

I'll go with John Travolta. He said decent bod, not amazing.

[Thanks to JAF]

Very Interesting...

I wondered what all those planes flying overhead were? They were coke planes coming from Colombia feeding HoHan and Kate Moss as they dined at Mr. Chow. Kate is sooo fucked up that she put on her jacket backwards!

A Christmas Carol

One of the best Dlisted posters around, Fmouie, has sent me a delightful Holiday song to get us all in the spirit. So, I know when I'm cutting a bitch up for the last wool sweater I'll be thinking of this. Thanks Fmouie!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the blog
posters were looking at girls fucking dogs.

The Nickys and Parises and Olsens were there
showing their asses in hot underwear.

Degenerates, homos and pervs of all kinds;
some blowin' the weed; all blowin' my mind.

Loozer and noni-mouse, and PixieGaf too
were writin' great comments and lines to LOL to.

Bangin' in Bangkok and LA soon
gave me a hard-on, my pecker in bloom!

CritterFer and GetFlix and of course, rollerslut
writing some great shit; no ifs, ands, or buts!

mpcMike was hard not to like; his captions were funny as shit.
2pink balloons and DarkSidedSlut gave me visions of luscious tit!

Glen, Gwen, and JDM and the infamous twinkie of purple;
GothamGal and fat girl Jessica, with pussies of maple syrple

Stacy and MizRo and ChiliGurl too;
naughty voyeur, of course, and even ewwww,

Pumbaa and many anonymi were there
and lalala-toya in her lalala-lair

When out on the post there popped up a pic
of 3 old men suckin' their dicks!

I shuddered and shook, my eyeballs a-twirl.
I cried out in pain; "Quick! Show me a girl!"

My balls; how they clung to my shrinking dick.
My eyes; how they stung! My stomach felt sick.

Their hair sparse and white, they looked lively and quick!
I prayed; "Sweet Jesus! Tell me it's not St Nick!!"

More gayish than MK; their cocks were NOT tame!
And I swear they were calling me! My cock hung in shame.

Now LA, Now Pumbaa, and fatgirlJess
help me please, to get out of this mess!

Say something sexy! Tell me you're wetter!
Give me a joke here! Make me feel better!

To the top of my head, from the toe of my foot
Damn it! Damn it! I just cannot look!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

so up to my eyeballs my hands then flew
with a painful gasp, before I could spew!

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the post,
some pleasant boobies that helped me compose

The jutting and perking of those pink tips
gave me to think of both twixt my lips.

As I dropped my hand to grab my lap,
feeling around for the burgeoning cap,

I saw that the pics had then become changed
they started to get more and more deranged!

With guys doing pee pee on girls in the pool
and homos in bars grabbing onto their stool.

Women bent over; their bra-bursting cups,
and other dumb sluts having sex with their pups.

Guys in their peignoirs, screwing their trucks,
Trailer trash crackers, and posed dumb fucks.

Their faces, they twinkled, their bodies so hairy.
the whole fucking mess was pretty damned scary!

People with problems and big fat bellies,
the celulite shook like bowls full of jellies!

They were chubby and skinny, all colors and makes
many were photoshopped, obvious fakes.

Some were tall, or short like an elf
and I laughed when I saw them, in spite of myself.

MK was posting, not writing a word.
My colleague was staring. I flipped him the bird.

and pushing his finger up into his nose,
I reprimaned him; "Dude, you're a hose!"

I returned to the screen and gave such a whistle!
Hohan had wet herself, and I grew a missle.

At that point, I knew it was time to go home.
My soldier was standing, I had such a bone!

So I logged off the blog and smiled with delight,
Merry Christmas to all, it's a hell of a night!

The Dlisted Report

Jamie Foxx has signed on for the lead role in Blood on the Leaves. The film centers on a district attorney who grapples with feelings of revenge as he prosecutes a black history professor on trial for the murders of white men accused of crimes against blacks during the civil rights movement. No word yet on when production will begin. [Variety]

Hugh Jackman will produce and star in Fed X. Jackman will play a green FBI agent sent to Miami to retrieve a criminal for prosecution. During the return trip, the fed and the thug each learn there's more to the other than expected. Jackman is currently filming X-Men 3. [Variety]

Fox has not officially cancelled Arrested Development but other networks are already sniffing at the show. Both ABC and Showtime have shown interest in taking on the show. Fox cut Arrested's original 22 episodes to just 13 causing the industry to believe they are canceling the comedy. [Variety]

The teaser trailer for Poseidon has launched. The film stars Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss, Kurt Russell, Freddy Rodriguez and Mia Maestro. It will hit theaters May 2006. View trailer

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

Laura And Barbara Bush tell Christmas Stories to young children. - Alty

"...and that year, Santa helped me seal the records so that no one would ever talk about the fatal car accident I caused in 1963! Kisses!" - Anonymous 2:39pm

(Sung to the tune of You-know-what)

I'm dreaming of an S&M Christma-a-s
just like the whole Bush fam'ly knows,
with those straps a-glistenin'
from sweat and pissnin'
and juice from all those Bush's ho's.

(bum-bum-bums-full-of-cum-cum)

I'm creaming from those Bush drea-eams;
the ones where Laura straps one on,
and those bright nip-ple clamps shine bri-i-i-i-i-ight
and the ball-gag fits me so ti-i-ight.


I'm preening for the right mistress. Her name is Laura and she's hot-t-t.
With my ass placed way up;
from her snatch, I'll sup,
and smile with brow-own on my fa-a-ace.


(bum-bum-bums-dumped-with-cum-cum)


I'm screaming for my Bush mistress;
with every ounce of energy.
I will bow and scrape at her fe-e-e-e-e-e-et
and blow Santa if he's effete. - FMouie

Hot Slut of the Day!

Tila Tequila - MySpace Superstar

Birthday Sluts

Patty Duke (59)
KaDee Strickland (28)
Tammy Blanchard (29)
Tia Texada (32)
Beth Orton (35)
Ted Raimi (40)
Alice Ripley (42)

Vintage Angie Getting All Lesbo!

These pics are from Foxfire and are of Angie and gal pals getting all intimate and shit. They like to drink and smoke and then just lay around nekkid. Click on any image to see larger, but they are NSFW! Oh and Jenny Shimizu's breasts are like under her chest!





[IDLYITW]

Usher is on the Road to Oscar!

According to Usher things are looking good for him to win an Oscar in the next few years. I don't know one person who saw In the Mix, the movie where Usher played a dj who gets involved with the mob. Well Usher feels that this was a good move for him.

He said: "Within a few years I want to win an Oscar and I think In The Mix is a good step towards that."

Usher also probably has straight hairdressers or make-up bitches. When asked if any man-on-man action occurred at one of his world famous orgies, he responded with:

"There was women on women but never man on man. Shit, nowhere near that! No one I ever roll with or ever would have roll with would get down like that."

Ok so Usher will win an Oscar soon with no help coming from the gays. That's like winning the Kentucky Derby without a horse. Please, you know he's sucks a mean dick!

[Oh No They Didn't]

This is Serious!

I actually don't like foie gras so I'm in the clear!

Kelly Clarkson: Fug or Hot?

I am always torn with this. I think she actually looked hotter now than her American Idol days although many will disagree. However, she's still like soccer mom to me in dress-up. I'm going to go with fug!

Let's Catch Up With Jordan!

Where in the world has Jordan been? Well, she's a very busy woman. She is off in the UK somewhere promoting her jewelry line. However, she's also working on a pop career. Can you believe this shit? Hot reader Julia wrote me that in NEW! magazine in London Jordan told them that Peter and her are planning to release a single.

You may remember that those two dumb bitches sang a duet to A Whole New World (yes from Aladdin) for their wedding. It went so well that they are hoping to release it as a single. Please let this come true Jesus.

Jordan said: "The song had a reaction and everyone wanted us to release it, so we are. It's something I really wanted to do - to sing with the man I love."

Julia also told me that Peter and Jordan sang a gorgeous duet on TV called Children in Need. She said: "Jordan totally mimed, which is probably a good thing cause she can't sing for toffee (she did sing live for her Eurovision song hopeful and it was tragic to say the least), but her overall performance was spectacular."

How much do you think it would cost to get this bitch to perform at your birthday party? I seriously will sell my mother's house in order to get this ho to sing especially for me. But she HAS to bring Harvey. That's like a given!

[Thanks to the uberhot Julia for sending this to me]

Cisco Adler Has a Band?!

I always wondered what the fuck Mischa Barton's main fug did for a living. I knew he was in music, but I thought he was some sort of producer. He's in some faggy band named Whitestarr and the double r's totally make it more rock n' roll.

Check out their MySpace for more pics of Cisco without his shirt on. However, Cisco without his shirt on is adonis compared to the dude on the far left.

[Thanks to Kat]

And Now Your Back in My Arms Again!

Brit Brit and KFed looked happy as they ate dinner at The Grove in Los Angeles. Looks like KFed realized who is calling the shots in that relationship. And Brit Brit was so happy that she accidentally put on one of SPF's onesies!

Afternoon Crumbs

KFed apparently thinks Brit Brit has been a bad wife and wants $150 Million to get out of the marriage. Hmm...he would never talk back about his master that way. Oh he totally would. [Gossip or Truth]

Scarlett Johansson gets a mullet for Elle. Stupid white trash bitch! [Egotastic!]

Fishsticks Paltrow needs a haircut and a fucking attitude adjustment! [Hollywoodtuna]

The Top 10 Style Moments of 2005 [City Rag]

Dlisted made Popbytes Daily Must Reads! Thanks MK! [Popbytes]

Chestica Simpson's clothing line makes JLo's clothing line look like fucking couture! [TBLE]

Parasite Hilton is named the worst dog owner of 2005. But she should also be named the best for being friends with Kimberly Stewart. [Gabsmash]

Since When is Al Reynolds "Manly"?

I hope Page Six was being sarcastic when they wrote this:

THAT Star Jones' manly hubby, Al Reynolds, sang along to all the show tunes Robert De Niro's wife, Grace Hightower, belted out at the Operation Smile benefit at Café Carlyle . . .

"I Enjoy Being a Girl" is probably his all-time favorite or perhaps "Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair"!

[Thanks to Geraldine & Pamboy]

Marc Anthony as Charlie Chaplin

JLo and Marc Anthony are filming in Tribeca today. WTF is this movie about?! What the hell does Charlie Chaplin have to do with a latin singer? God, I hope this movie is a huge train wreck that we all have first class seats to! JLo looks like a Puerto Rican tranny hooker. But that's a good thing!

Beyonce Quote of the Day

on her role in Dreamgirls

"I get to really show a range and really get to act for the first time."

Is Superman Superbig?

Warner Bros. has ordered Bryan Singer to digitally remove Brandon Routh's huge bulge during post-production of Superman. The studio found it extremely distracting and want it tamed it or cut out completely.

A source close the movie said: "It's a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen. We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects."

Costume designers confirmed they found it difficult working with the bulge and created some codpieces and shit to fix it.

I'm still so fucking confused. What's wrong with a bulge again?

[Dark Horizons]

Gross!

I love me some Jones soda. They have delicious flavors like Green Apple and Fu Fu Berry but for the Holidays they are making some disgusting shit! They have revealed flavors like Pumpkin Pie, Wild Herb Stuffing, Brussels Sprouts, Cranberry and Turkey & Gravy that they will sell during the season. Sick!

This is almost worst than the Harry Potter jelly beans with flavors like vomit and boogers!

Please Don't Tell Me You Think Cacee Cobb is Hot

For those of you who don't know Cacee Cobb. She is Chestica Simpson's assistant that somehow got famous. I read about how some people think she's hot and gorgeous. Um, hell no! She is like a low-rent version of an already low-rent Chestica. I also don't trust her. She's fucking Nick.

[Goldenfiddle]

They Make It So Easy

Some celebrities complain that they don't understand why people would want to make fun of them. Um..maybe it's because you go and do stupid things like this! Chestica, Chestica, no wonder most of us have so much fun tearing you a part. You throw us lovely morsels like getting your lips fucked up. Does she think this looks good? I can't wait to witness the downward spiral her face will take into plastic surgery hell!

They Couldn't Have Said It Any Better!

Dude Looks a Lady!

Russell Crowe joins other celebrity parents that want their sons to look like hot chicks. I like the look. I had that same kind of hair when I was little and it was fucking hot. Salesbitches would always say I was such a sweet, little girl. Dumb sluts! And look how I turned out..um...well...errr.... Anyway, personally I don't think there's anything wrong with it. He's a kid and having long, luxurious hair for a kid is fun. When he gets older, he'll be able to chop that shit off and look like a boy.

Oh, I think that hair color is Deep Copper Blonde from Garnier.

Rachel Hunter Rushed to Hospital!

Rachel Hunter was rushed to the hospital after she suffered extreme stomach pain. She was admitted to a hospital in London and went through several tests. She was released and is waiting to hear from doctors.

A source said: "She was in extreme pain. She is on very strong painkillers and is concerned about what the problem is. She has vowed to carry on with rehearsals - she's determined not to let anyone down."

Bitch, don't you think mixing the pain killers with booze had something to do with your stomach pains? Why are most celebrities on pain killers? Do they just hand you a lifetime prescription with your SAG card?

[Contact Music]

GOD DAYUM!!!!

Holy Aretha Franklin! What did you do to yourself? Shit her arms make me wanna pour some fruit all over em. You know I love my cottage cheese and fruit. But for serious, this ain't right! Aretha call Star Jones immediately and ask for the name of the gastric bypass surgeon she used!

Better yet call Margaret Perrin so the two of you can team up for a reality show!

This Sneaky Skank is Up to Something!

Parasite Hilton was apparently shocked to find out that her X-best friends engagement abruptly ended last week. Nicole Richie and DJ AM called off their wedding plans out of nowhere last week. Parasite has said that she wants to reach out to her, because she knows what she's going through.

She said: "I am really sorry to hear about Nic's engagement. I went through the same thing.

"With Christmas coming up, I realize I really miss her and want to get in touch again."

Don't go anywhere near her ass Nicole! She's a sneaky bitch. She probably wants to get close to you to steal your man! And how can Parasite compare her engagement to Nicole's? Parasite's was a complete joke. Anyway, I wouldn't trust that snatch. Her eyes look sneaky like those of a bunny rabbit! I don't trust those bunny rabbits, they are shady bitches!

[Contact Music]

Shit, Give Me Your Problems!

Robbie Williams has such problems in love. He hasn't found the one, because he's rich as shit. That's what he thinks anyway. He cries that he would have a better chance in finding love is he was broke.

He said: "Money's nothing to do with happiness.

"Sometimes I feel like cashing everything in and giving it all away. Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I didn't even have £100. Then I could walk the streets as a free man, meet a girl and live a quiet life."

Only rich people say this. Sure, money ain't everything but it sure makes misery comfortable. Robbie if you're interested in giving that shit away, come to this site...there's probably tons of gold digging bitches here that'll take your loot. Me included.

[Female First]

Madge Jacks Herself Off

Madge's 13th song from Confessions On a Dancefloor was left off the album, but can be downloaded on her official website by members. The song called Super Pop basically pays homage to Madge's favorite person in the world: Herself!

The lyrics go:

"If I was a car, I'd be an Aston Martin. If I was a star, I would be who I am today/If I was a fighter, I'd be Cassius Clay/If I was emotion, I would be intense/If I was a man, I would be president."

Can she even be President? Isn't she like British or some shit?

[The Scoop]

Brit Brit & SPF go a Shoppin'

Brit Brit Spears decided to distract herself from her crumbling marriage by dropping some Benjamins at the Westfield mall. I hate that fucking mall. I only like the movie theater and Ben and Jerry's. Anyway...she took SPF and Lynn along for the ride. Those aren't tattoos on her arms, just some fugly shirt she probably got at Charlotte Russe.

Anne Hathaway IS Brokeback Mountain!

I went to see Brokeback Mountain last night. Everybody told me it was like the greatest love story and I'd be weeping and shit. But since I have a stone cold heart, I didn't feel anything. Not until the powerhouse performance of Anne Hathaway took over the screen. It wasn't really her fucking performance, but it was her fucking outfits and hair! Not since Sharon Stone in Casino has a wig touched my soul the way Anne's did and for this she deserves the Golden Globe nomination, not that homely pixie Michelle Williams! Look at her, it's pure glamour. This is what movie making is about, not some cowboy on the range shit! I want rhinestones and platinum!

The Dlisted Report

Jude Law has joined Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Jack Black in Holiday. Law will play the love interest opposite Cameron Diaz, a woman on the rebound who vacations in London and strikes up a friendship with a British woman (Kate Winslet) who has also been dumped. Shooting begin in London with Nancy Meyers at the helm. [Variety]

Leonardo DiCaprio and crew will begin filming The Blood Diamond in South Africa this February. The African adventure is set in Sierra Leone circa 1999, a time when the nation was in the midst of a horrific civil war. DiCaprio plays the role of a smuggler who specializes in the sale of "blood diamonds," also known as "conflict diamonds" -- the precious stones used to finance rebellions, privateers and terrorists. Jennifer Connelly also stars. [Variety]

Bacardi Live has the teaser trailer to Miami Vice. The Michael Mann directed film stars Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li, Naomie Harris and Justin Theroux. It hits theaters next July. View Trailer

The Golden Globe Nominations

Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale and Steve Carrell were on hand to announce the nominations for the Golden Globes.

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Focus Features/River Road Entertainment; Focus Features
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
Potboiler Prods./Scion Films; Focus Features
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK
Section Eight/2929 Entertainment/Participant Productions; Warner Independent Pictures
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
New Line Cinema; New Line Cinema
MATCH POINT
Jada Productions; DreamWorks Pictures

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

MARIA BELLO A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
FELICITY HUFFMAN TRANSAMERICA
GWYNETH PALTROW PROOF
CHARLIZE THERON NORTH COUNTRY
ZIYI ZHANG MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA

RUSSELL CROWE CINDERELLA MAN
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN CAPOTE
TERRENCE HOWARD HUSTLE & FLOW
HEATH LEDGER BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
DAVID STRATHAIRN GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK

BEST MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY

MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS
Heyman Hoskins Prods.; The Weinstein Company
PRIDE & PREJUDICE
Working Title Prods.; Focus Features/StudioCanal
THE PRODUCERS
Brooksfilms; Universal Pictures/Columbia Pictures
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
American Empirical/Peter Newman – Internal; Samuel Goldwyn Films/Sony Pictures Releasing International
WALK THE LINE
Twentieth Century Fox; Twentieth Century Fox

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY

JUDI DENCH MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY PRIDE & PREJUDICE
LAURA LINNEY THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
SARAH JESSICA PARKER THE FAMILY STONE
REESE WITHERSPOON WALK THE LINE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE -MUSICAL OR COMEDY

PIERCE BROSNAN THE MATADOR
JEFF DANIELS THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
JOHNNY DEPP CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE
FACTORY
NATHAN LANE THE PRODUCERS
CILLIAN MURPHY BREAKFAST ON PLUTO
JOAQUIN PHOENIX WALK THE LINE

Click here for full list

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!

The Top 3:

Kitty Porn - Glen

"Memory, all my stuff in your deep throat..." - 2pinkballoons

Paris Latsis definitely caught something from Parasite - Anonymous 2:51pm


[Thanks to darksidedslut]


Click here for the NSFW version!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Loretta Lynn

Birthday Sluts

Jamie Foxx (38)
Nellie McKay (21)
Debbie Matenopolous (31)
Steve Buscemi (48)
Wendie Malick (55)
Ted Nugent (57)
Christopher Plummer (76)
Dick Van Dyke (80)

Get That Shit Outta Your Teeth!

[click image to enlarge]

Doesn't JLo have a team of slaves that prevent this shit?! Get that caca out of your teeths bitch! That shit is nasty. Jenny's shooting that El Cantante movie in New York right now, so she's not dressed like that to work the streets. She also didn't look happy coming out of her trailer the next morning. She probably saw pictures of nastiness all over her grill and was doing some firing.

Seriously though, I wouldn't of told that ho the truth

Colin Farrell Treated for "Exhaustion"

Colin Farrell is currently being treated for exhaustion and dependency on medication. That fucking junkie. His publicist said that Colin has become addicted to a medication which was prescribed to him for a back injury. She also stated that no other comments will be made.

A French tabloid had said that in fact Colin overdosed on cocaine and marijuana and that's the real reason he's in the hospital.

I personally feel like it's all of the above. That bitch probably sticks anything in his orfices...ANYTHING. However, I wish you a fast recovery Colin so that you can go on infecting Hollywood starlets!

[Mercury News]

Would You Hit It?

That's Parasite's leftovers: Mr. Paris. The shaved eyebrow totally does it for me!

Dpoll Results: Who Should Chestica Choose as Her New Mate?

Her own father?! You people are sick! You know he wants to tap that!

Thanks for voting y'all!

Jimmy Swaggart will Kill a Homo!

This video is fucked up. It's basically some crazy Christian named Jimmy Swaggart telling the church that not only will he commit murder, which is a sin, but he'll lie to God about it!

Oh and I totally think I've blown him in the past.

Watch it!

[Thanks to DobryDen]

Posh Wishes You a Merry Christmas!

Photoshop anyone? Her face looks like a ski mask, it's sooo smooth! She looks like an Alien Nation extra.

Remember Sara Rue?

Sara Rue was the star of a sitcom called Less Than Perfect back in 2002. I remember her from that TV show Popular. Anyway, bitch went away and got all skinny and shit. Here's what she looks like now below! Dayum! She looks like a different person. What kind of diet do you think she was on? Coke and Ice Cream or straight-up gastric bypass? Whatever it was, she looks hot. Wish the red hair was still there.



[JJB]

Afternoon Crumbs

Diddy has a Christmas list. Unfortunately humility and compassion didn't make his list this year. [Gabsmash]

Sienna Miller doesn't do it for me. Is there a word that describes white, British trash? [Egotastic!]

Chyna is looking hot, maybe that's why she had to get her picture taken next to an air conditioning vent. [Damn I'm Cute]

Mischa Barton's extensions are almost as gross as her boyfriend. ALMOST. [Hollywood Rag]

If Madge is able to steal your man with her sexiness...something is wrong with your vagina or you're Margaret Perrin. [Popsugar]

Are these thumbnails of those infamous Jennifer Aniston nudie pics? [DMI] [VIA Goldenfiddle]

Caprice got arrested in London for being a drunken driving slut! Caprice is the chick who looked like Mother Theresa next to Omarosa and Janice Dickinson on The Surreal Life. [Glitterati]

Why the Fuck Would You Wanna Do This?

*The photo agency that owns these photos asked me to remove them*

Dennis Rodman needs fucking attention. And the only way for him to get it is to put on a jacked up wig and a nasty-ass dress. What kind of cross dresser is he? I mean the fucking eyelashes are falling off. Darling pull yourself together. Just quit already. Your book isn't going to sell shit. It's not.

Which Couple is More Exciting?

Nicole Richie has a New Man!

At least this one is more her size. He's actually a little bigger. Anyway, here's Nicole and Mischa Barton visiting some pet store in Malibu. She's also hiding her left hand so we don't know that she's not wearing her engagement ring. Because it's one big secret and all.

Jamie Foxx Used to be a Racist!

When Jamie Foxx was 15-year old he was so sick of being treated like shit because of his race that he started to treat others the way he was being treated.

He said: "When I was 15, I went to play the piano for this white guy's Christmas party, but when me and a friend showed up we were told, 'I can't have two n**gers in my house at one time.'"

This fucking pissed him off so much that when he would throw parties at his house, he would enlist the same policy. If two white people showed up he would tell them that only one of them could come in. But don't worry, he doesn't do this shit anymore.

He also said that he would waive his policy if two white women showed up. Figures.

[Contact Music]

George Michael Claims Princess Diana Wanted His Ass!

Yes, it's true. The gay pop star claims that the late Princess Diana was obsessed with his faggoty ass and that they almost had a relationship. I guess he'd do anything to get close to that tiara. George said that she was extremely attracted to him and they almost knocked the boots before her death.

He said: "There were certain things that happened that made it clear she was very attracted to me. There was no question.

"We clicked in a way that was a little bit intangible.

"We nearly got together on that St Tropez boat trip. I was supposed to go on the boat and I'm quite glad I didn't, because it would have been so fresh when she died."

Wasn't she like in love and shit with somebody else? He's making this shit up. Leave it to a queen to get all dramatic. She probably just said she liked "I Want Your Sex."

[Pink News]

Janice Dickinson has a Sexy Chin!

Is that from plastic surgery?! It looks like a fucking wind tunnel!

Kate Beckinsale is a Web Ho!

Kate Beckinsale and her husband Len Wiseman keep things fucking hot by having cyber sex! Kate finds it difficult being away from her hubby while one of them is on location, so her husband suggested they set up a webcam where they can get naked for each other.

She said: "It was Len's idea and he set them up " "He tells me what to wear each evening. It really helps our relationship"

"There's no way we are keeping it clean. That's the whole point. It's just like when you get a photocopier and you just have to do one of your bum. It's just one of those rules of life"

You dumb bitch! He's making money off your ass! You know he's streaming that to thousands of other people. It's not like we haven't seen the goods anyway. Just kidding, he's not doing that. But he's totally recording their sessions for when their marriage ends.

[News24]

Parasite Calls Her Friend to Ask What a Christmas Tree Looks Like

Why Does She Have this Power?!

Another one of Angelina Jolie's victims still can't get enough of that hypnotic vagina of hers. Jenny Shimizu and Angie shared a beautiful lesbian love affair in 1993 when they were making the film Foxfire. Jenny told a TV news show that there will never be an end to their love. Bitch get over it!

She said: "There has never been an end to her and I. I think there never will be."

"She's always had lovers that she relies on. If she can ring you and you can meet up then she can take care of her sexual needs. Whenever she calls me up I visit her. She's the person I'll always care about and always help and always be there for"

Seriously what does this woman have?! Does she put crack in her cunt. I mean, these people would kill themselves just to have her breathe on them. Get it together! It's not that serious!

Jenny also doubts that Bradley and Angie will stay together forever.

"It seems he comes from a different place He wants to have kids and he wants to have the perfect marriage She's a tough woman who will do everything she wants to

"I don't think there is any way of controlling Angelina. She's not going to be a housewife"

[Hindustan Times]

One Hooker at a Funeral

These are some old pics of what Lil' Kim wore to Aaliyah's funeral back in 2001. Damn, was she pulling tricks after this? Shit at least wear a skirt that doesn't show your nasty, cum-stained panties to everyone!

I'll stop hating, because if I was a chick I'd totally wear that to a funeral. It's totally proper funeral attire. And for Kim it's pretty much covered up.





[JJB]

Sharon Stone Never Bathes!

Sharon Stone is so fucking busy that she can't even find time to wash her vagina and empty her bladder! She not only has a full-time career as a fallen movie star, but she's also a devoted mom! She is also helping to run a charity which includes writing and producing a Hurricane Katrina single. Blah Blah Blah.

The stoned one said: "I would like to have a bath one day soon, and maybe pee"

She's right about the bath part. She's been like dirty lately and not in an Xtina way. Also, I hate when people say they are too busy to pee. Isn't peeing a necessity in this life? Or does she mean proper peeing? I can totally see her letting it go into a diaper. Hey! That's what she should get is a diaper. Then she'll have the time to pee while she's speaking to thousands of people on why AIDS is so devastating. Because I know that AIDS makes me want to pee. So I feel her pain.

[Female First]

The Dlisted Report

The Chronicles of Narnia slammed the competition this weekend bringing in $67.1 Million and easily taking the #1 spot. Syriana came in #2 with $12 Million. Harry Potter dropped 2 places to #3 with $10 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Jeremy Sisto of Six Feet Under fame has been cast in the lead role of NBC's highly anticipated drama Kidnapped. Sisto will play the lead investigator in the kidnapping of the son of well-to-do New York City parents. Every episode that follows depicts a day in the investigation of the child's disappearance. Dana Delany and Delroy Lindo also star. [Variety]

Edie Falco has dropped out of the forthcoming Broadway revival of The Threepenny Opera. The production will continue to star Alan Cumming, Nellie McKay, Jim Dale and Ana Gasteyer. Performances begin this March. [Broadway.com]

Danni is the Ultimate Survivor!

Last night was the 10-hour season finale of Survivor Guatemala. Danni the 30yo sports host from Kansas beat out Stephenie big time. I think she basically got all the votes except one. I'm happy this chick won, because I hated Stephenie. If a place exists where you can erase your tan, this woman needs to go to it. She's seriously blacker than most black people. I'm still sad Lydia didn't make final 2. She was so fucking weird! Was she an oompa loompa?

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Guess which ones are fake? - Yippy

[Thanks to Danielle for pic]


Click here for NSFW version!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Barbara Parkins

Birthday Sluts

Sheila E. (48)
Mayim Bialik (30)
Madchen Amick (35)
Regina Hall (35)
Jennifer Connelly (35)
Burke Moses (41)
Cathy Rigby (53)
Tom Wilkinson (57)
Dionne Warwick (65)
Bob Barker (82)

Kelly Osbourne's New Do is Stunning!

Stunningly Disgusting!

Weekend Crumbs

Some bitch from Iceland won Miss World beating out 100 other trannies. [Gabsmash]

KFed got his prized Ferrari back! Brit Brit probably got her vagina worked on properly. [Hollywood Rag]

Perez Hilton posts the name of the spammer that's been attacking his site. Could this be the Brangelina stalker that hits at this site all time? [Perez Hilton]

Gisele Budchen is fucking hot on Louis Vuitton. Anytime she keeps her mouth fucking shut and just looks hot is a good time. [Made in Brazil]

Michael Jackson and Marlon Brando are best of friends. Could it be any other way? [Page Six]

This is mostly a fucked up rumor, but I hope it's true. Courtney Love has sold the Nirvana rights to Martha Stewart. We all know Martha is a fucking hardcore grunge chick. [Stereogum]

Hot Slut of the Week: Mo'Nique

Age: 38
Birthday: December 11, 1967
Birth Name: Monique Imes

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: December 5, 2005
Claim to Fame: A stand-up comedian who got her big break on Brandy and The Parker.

Where is she now? Currently can be seen in the major motion picture Domino and is working on her own sitcom.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She is one of the funniest motherfuckers out there.

Angie & Zahara Go to Court!

Angie Jolie and her daughter Zahara are seen here on their way to court to possibly finish up some adoption documents. Angie of course is in her signature black. This outfit she's wearing is pretty fug. Zahara is hot, but totally has a 5head.

TomKat and Those Soccer Games!

TomKat went to yet another one of Isabella's soccer games. They are like parents of the year. They were surrounded by security, assistants and several devoted Scientologists. Katie looks fucking huge. I will say she looks kind of hot. Being preggers with an alien fetus sure does your skin well.

Brooke Burns Bedazzles her Neckbrace!

What an idiot. I have no idea why she's wearing a neckbrace either nor do I care.

Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Hitched!

Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood married in Oklahoma yesterday.

"It's the perfect Christmas gift to each other. We could not be happier," Brooks said in a statement.

Judging by their picture looks like there was lots of fried chicken and butter biscuits!

[People]

RIP Richard Pryor

[CNN]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mary Hart