Dlisted: 11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

You Will Turn to Stone!



If you look directly into her eyes! Here's Oprah at the opening night of The Color Purple the Musical on Broadway which she produced. If you click on the image to enlarge you will basically see the entire Lancome make-up counter on her face. How can all that make-up get on one face?!

Hideous.

Some Bitches Can't Take a Hint!



Gay Al wants nothing to do with Star. So she has to put on some fugly pants and try and give him a sexy lap dance. At this moment we are seeing a man's penis shrink into his ball sack.

[Crunk and Disorderly]

Not Her Best Look....





I think my 9th grade Science teacher had those same glasses!

Weekend Crumbs

Nicole Kidman pregnant with Keith Urban's baby? She's too vain for that shit! [Contact Music]

Kelly Osbourne is still gross. [Hollywood Rag]

Hugh Grant pulls a Sienna Miller and gets in a fight with the paparazzi. I totally forgot about that mofo! [Perez Hilton]

Everyone has basically fucked everyone else in Hollywood. Six degrees of separation! [Bricks and Stones]

Tori Spelling is knocked up. I feel sorry for the kid who has to wear her mug for the rest of his life! [Glitterati]

Greek billionaire Athina Onassis will marry in Brazil today. And it's not Parasite Hilton, although if it was possible she would. She's going to marry some dude named Alvaro Alfonso de Miranda. Score! [People]

Charlize Theron is Nearly Perfect!



He Got Served!

It was your typical day in Malibu, CA. The only thing different was that Brit Brit's husband Kfed was nowhere to be seen. But his Ferrari was! It was seen being hauled back to the place where it came from. Ahahahha! That stupid motherfucker is getting everything that the truly cares about taken away from him!

Let's hope this is for serious and Brit Brit's vagina is cleaning herself of Kfed for good!





Mugshots!



Here are mugshots of those stupids bitches, Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros. They were arrested this week for DUI, both separately. Michelle looks like she's done this before. Which she has!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Gravatar I think I see crabs on the middle one - Wirthy

Hot Slut of the Day!



Jacqueline from WWF

Birthday Sluts



Julianne Moore (45)
Anna Chlumsky (25)
Trina (27)
Holly Marie Combs (32)
Brendan Fraser (37)
Montell Jordan (37)
Katarina Witt (40)
Daryl Hannah (45)
Ozzy Osbourne (57)
Steve Rubell (62)
Jean-Luc Godard (75)

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's Official!



Brad Pitt confirmed his relationship with Angelina Jolie in a very roundabout way. He confirmed through his spokeswhore that he is planning to adopt her two children: Maddox and Zahara. The plan is to change their last names to Jolie-Pitt.

He issued the following statement:

"We are confirming that Brad Pitt is in the process of becoming the adoptive father of both children,"

"No further comment is being made."


This is all Maddox's idea so that he can become even richer! He's one step closer to ruling the world!

[NBC 11]

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

I Say WTF?!



I'll let the article speak for itself:

A man who was videotaping a friend having sex with a horse when the friend died pleaded guilty earlier this week to trespassing at the Enumclaw, Wash., farm.

The 54-year-old man, James Michael Tait, was given a suspended jail sentence and fined $778.

The man told police he and others often sneaked onto a neighbor's farm to have sex with animals.

Kenneth Pinyan suffered a perforated colon July 2 and died from his injury.

The King County prosecutor's office said no animal cruelty charges were filed because there was no evidence of injury to the horse.


This is not right! Jesus would not like this one bit! But for real, that horse must have a dangerous dick to kill that man. That horse gives good sex! And I'm not trying to stick a horse dick up my arse! Ok, maybe just once. Just the tip.

[NBC 30] [You're Hot Gina]

Now We Know the TRUE Identity of JLo's Dog!

One of my readers Kelly, found the true identity of JLo's new dog. She put together this little skit herself, so the credit is all hers. This shit is funny!



Ben: Ok, so tell her something nice, you know? Like I miss her and she'll always be just my sweet Jenny. You know? Say this, "He loves you, he needs you, he can't live another moment without you." Ok, got it?



Dog: Let's roll.



Dog: Meet him in the hospital parking lot. Wear a thong.

[Big Thanks to Kelly!]

Afternoon Crumbs

Finally that dumb bitch Jayla was sent packing on ANTM. Go Nik! [FourFour]

Tara Reid needs a bra. [A Socialite's Life]

Marilyn Manson's getting married to Dita Von Teese in Ireland this weekend. It's going to be totally normal. [Contact Music]

Mimi tries to do her best Jessica Rabbit. She fails! [Hollywood Rag]

Keira Knightley is one fucked up bitch! She confesses she buys shoes just because. Some of them don't even fit her! She just likes to look at them. [Egotastic!]

TomKat are registered at Neiman Marcus. But what they really need is an exorcism! [Just Jared]

Guess the Celebrity?




UPDATE: The nose behind the celeb is...



Eliza Dushku! Congrats to darknessa for again being the first to get it right!

Jean Claude Van Damme is Funky



This is from a crap movie he did called Breakin'

I Knew She Liked Threesomes!





Seriously, she looks very serene. This dog is bringing her peace. A piece of dick, because Marc's is stank! Just kidding folks!

Johnny Depp Thinks We Should Masturbate Right Now!



Ok, pretty much everybody that reads my shit is celebrity obsessed. That's basically a given. So, Johnny Depp thinks that we need to spend less time worrying about celebrities and more time touching our caves and snakes.

He said:

"This is a rumor-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about who I've dated, then I'd say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topic or even masturbation"


On that note, I gotta make a quick trip to the boy's room! I hope they have toilet paper in there or somebody's ass is going to get a sticky surprise on the toilet seat!

[Female First]

Doherty's Prick!



This is something I didn't need to see. It's not confirmed that it's him, but if it is -- He needs a serious waxing!

[Thanks to WWJDD]



Click here to see it!





KFed was Always Trash!



That's a hot mullet!

[You're Hot JasonC]

Nikki Ziering Quote of the Day!



"I feel like Cameron Diaz gets all my roles. People always say we look alike."

This slut used to be married to Ian Ziering from 90210!

Joan Van Ark strikes again!

by Lahoma00

Joan Van Ark is one of the hottest bitches out there. She's had so much plastic surgery! Which is weird because she's a method actress, and usually they are all anti-cosmetics and shit.



Anyway, this bitch along with Michelle Lee, Michelle Phillips, the incomporable Lisa Hartman Black, some stupid guys and one of the hottest sluts ever, Donna Mills, will be in the Knots Landing Reunion tonight!



Basically the cast is going to sit around and talk about how hot the show was and how cool they all were, and how Knots Landing changed the world. Which it totally fucking did---it was the first soap opera where people took out their own trash!

One of Knots Landing's hottest stories was when Joan Van Ark fell off a horse, went crazy and started trying all these weird hairstyles. A close second is when Michelle Phillips went digging through horse shit for a valuable microchip!



Anyway, all of you sluts better watch this because if it's successful they'll surely do a Falcon Crest reunion. I want to see Morgan Fairchild and Apollonia reunited with a 100 year old Jane Wyman!

[Pic: KnotsLanding.net]

And the Grammy Goes to...



Parasite Hilton!

I've heard the track of that piece of trash singing Screwed, but her MySpace profile has many other gems! She really is a truly gifted singer! Not since Celine Dion has this earth been blessed with such an angelic voice.

Paris Whitney Hilton, a successful model, actress, designer, and now musician, is thrilled to release her debut album "1 Crazy Party" on her very own label, Heiress Records. Ms. Hilton's first single "Turn It Up" is a sassy slice of electro pop that will no doubt reach the number one spot on charts all around the globe. Paris has worked with world famous producers and writers over the last year, and has produced one of those "must hear" records where every song is a hit. "I wanted to record something personal, something that has meaning to me, and I think this CD will show my fans that I value them and that singing has always been one of my huge passions," says the socialite herself. The album will also feature the smash hit "Screwed," "All the Boys Are Chasing Me," and "9 Times out of 10."


Actually her voice is like Minnie Mouse on acid. Hand on My Heart is truly a beautiful song. Such range! It's sad that even with all the effects on her voice she still sounds like a low-rent Jem!

Listen to this shit!


UPDATE - So, that shit is fake! MySpace has taken it down. I guess we'll have to wait a little longer until we can bash Paris for real. In the mean time you can ask Parasite any question you want! Click here to ask why she's such a slut!

[A Socialite's Life]

GQ Man of the Year

Last night was the party for GQ's Man of the Year. And surprisingly mostly everybody looked hot, especially HoHan! Well Carson looked creepy as usual!








Mischa Barton



Aniston



Jeremy Piven (Gross) & Chris Evans



Carson Daly & Eva Mendes



The Rock & Vince Vaughn


Pharrell & Joaquin Pheonix


The Arquettes



Brandon Routh & Jesse Metcalfe - You know they fucked!



Contact
michaelk@dlisted.com
moderator@dlisted.com
Michael K on MySpace



The Forum

Shop


Archives

01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005

01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005

02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005

02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005

02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005

02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005

03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005

03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005

03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005

03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005

04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005

04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005

04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005

04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005

05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005

05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005

05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005

05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005

05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005

06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005

06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005

06/19/2005 - 06/26/2005

06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005

07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005

07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005

07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005

07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005

07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005

08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005

08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005

08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005

08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005

09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005

09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005

09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005

09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005

10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005

10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005

10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005

10/23/2005 - 10/30/2005

10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005

11/06/2005 - 11/13/2005

11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005

11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005

11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005

12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005

12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005

12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005

12/25/2005 - 01/01/2006

01/01/2006 - 01/08/2006

01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006

01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006

01/22/2006 - 01/29/2006

01/29/2006 - 02/05/2006

02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006

02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006

02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006

02/26/2006 - 03/05/2006

03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006

03/12/2006 - 03/19/2006

03/19/2006 - 03/26/2006

03/26/2006 - 04/02/2006

04/02/2006 - 04/09/2006

04/09/2006 - 04/16/2006

04/16/2006 - 04/23/2006

04/23/2006 - 04/30/2006

04/30/2006 - 05/07/2006

05/07/2006 - 05/14/2006

05/14/2006 - 05/21/2006

05/21/2006 - 05/28/2006

05/28/2006 - 06/04/2006

06/04/2006 - 06/11/2006

06/11/2006 - 06/18/2006

06/18/2006 - 06/25/2006

06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006

07/02/2006 - 07/09/2006

07/09/2006 - 07/16/2006

07/16/2006 - 07/23/2006

07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006

07/30/2006 - 08/06/2006

08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006

08/13/2006 - 08/20/2006

08/20/2006 - 08/27/2006

08/27/2006 - 09/03/2006

09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006

09/10/2006 - 09/17/2006

09/17/2006 - 09/24/2006

09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006

10/01/2006 - 10/08/2006

10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006

10/15/2006 - 10/22/2006

10/22/2006 - 10/29/2006


Links
Best Week Ever
Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux
Concrete Loop
Crunk and Disorderly
FourFour
Golden Fiddle
Hollywood Rag
Popsugar
SwimAtYourOwnRisk
Answer This
Barbie Martini
Blogebrity
The Bosh
Brit Boy LA
Cake and Ice Cream
cat.lebrity
Celebrity Nation
Celebrity Smack
The Deli
Drunken Stepfather
Egotastic!
Fatback and Collards
Gabsmash
Gallery of the Absurd
The Gossipist
Hollywood Tuna
IDontLikeYouInThatWay
I'm Not Obsessed
In Case You Didn't Know
Jossip
Just Jared
Lainey Gossip
Manhattan Offender
Miss TLC
News8
Pink is the New Blog
Nightcharm
Nosy Snoop
OH NO!
The People We Love to Hate
Popblogging
Popbytes
Popped Culture
The Post Chronicle
Rhymes With Snitch
The Skinny Website
Smart
A Socialite's Life
Splash News
Tabloid Whore
Thighs Wide Shut
TMZ
Truth, Beauty, Love and Elisa
Yeeeah!
Young Black and Fabulous
City Rag
Communicatrix
Conversations About Fashion
GetFlix
Happy Hour Liz
If Jack Could Talk
It's Not Chick Porn!
Kill the Buddha
My Looking Glass
Purple Twinkie
Rachel Marsden
Yeah, I live in Worcester
Completely Naked
Dan Renzi
Made in Brazil
Ohlala Paris
Naked Boy Chronicles
Parisian Boys
Scott-O-Rama
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Totally Joshness
Towleroad
Assistant Atlas
The Bling Blog
Church of Annette
Confessions of a Casting Director
Don and Murph
Give Me My Remote
Movie Picture Film
My Dingaling
OMG BLOG
Random Acts of Television
Reality Rant
Secrets on Madison Avenue
Viva La Graham
The Vitriol