Attack of the Clones!

[Thanks to Kim and Gina]

HoHan Will Never be 1/10th of This Bitch!

[Lime-Light]

Brangelina in Pakistan!

Brad Pitt and Angie Jolie are visiting a devastated Pakistan and met with the President. What are they talking about and why are they sitting so far apart. It's so awkward!



That lady better watch out or Angie's totally going to take her baby! Not without my daughter!

Sorry Miss Jackson, You Still Look Nasty

Janet Jackson is getting her exercise on to trying and get her body back together. She's probably getting ready to launch a new album or something. She always packs on the twinkies when she's on down time and then gets a couple of ribs removed when she's ready to hit the public eye again. She also got some new braids which make her look nastier. I love this bitch, but she needs to get it together!

Things could be worse, she could be Jacko.







[Hollywood Rag]

Courtney Cox has a Gross Spine

[JJB]

Who is Mikey Post?

Mikey Post is a Los Angeles actor/performer who happens to be a little person. He's also a fucking man about town. He seriously parties with all these celebs and shit. On his website he has a gallery devoted to pics of him with Parasite Hilton. You know he hit that.

He's totally hot and I'd totally jump on that.



Check out his website.

[Thanks to Lisa]

A Thanksgiving Without You!

Chestica Simpson made her way to Texas to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family after it was announced that her marriage is officially kaput. Nick stayed in L.A. with his bitches and watched sports and shit. Yeah right, you know he went out on got himself some!

Both are denying that a third party is involved and blame the separation on always being apart. Please, that's such a bullshit. I hate when celebrities play that card. That sounds like a marriage made in heaven! A man that you never have to see and when you do it's only for a little sex and then you're gone again. Shit, that's perfection.

You know the real reason behind the split is Chestica's vagina couldn't keep quiet anymore! It's her time!

[The National Ledger]

Fishsticks and an Apple

Apple is pretty adorable. A knocked up Fishsticks is note cute!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

These constant steroid checks have gotten ridiculous. - Cindy C

[Thanks to Jaq G]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Swoosie Kurtz

Birthday Sluts

Peter Facinelli (32)
Tina Turner (66)
Robert Goulet (72)

Death Don't Take Me!

TomKat Does Shanghai!

TomKat and their alien fetus are currently in China shooting Mission Impossible 3. Poor Katie looks like a wreck. She seriously doesn't look glowing, she looks nasty. Tom looks creepier than ever.



"So remember, when we get home I'm going to give you a sonogram." - Tom

"Yes, King Alien." - Katie



"Quick hold my hand, there's cameras!" - Tom

Mimi Gets in the Spirit!

Mimi proved that she's still a 16yo girl stuck in a 35yo body. This is so 13 Going on 30. She performed at a NFL halftime looking like a fucking mess. Did she make her assistants remove the size 12 tags from her outfits? Her Swarvoski crystal mic is seriously hot shit.







[Hollywood Rag]

Madge Hates Vicodin

After falling off of a horse and breaking several bones, Madge was put on the pain killer Vicodin. She insists that she hated the way it made her feel.

"I only tried Vicodin once I was in a lot of pain, and everyone kept telling me to try it, but they kept saying, 'Be careful It's so amazing."

"You're going to get addicted' So I called five people to get advice before I took it, and they all told me I was going to love it. I just chewed the entire inside of my mouth I bitched at everybody And I was in more pain It was the worst experience of my life"

Taking Vicodin was the worst experience in her life? And why is she blaming a pill on bitching people out. Doesn't she do that anyway? I don't care what she says, Vicodin is some hot shit!

[Rolling Stone]

Mischa Barton Engaged?

Cisco Adler has proposed to Mischa Barton in Hawaii. Gross! Cisco was once engaged to that nasty-ass Kimbo Stewart. Who the fuck would date anyone that was engaged to that hag? Mischa has apparently accepted this offer.

Seriously, I hope he has good dick. Because he is ugly in the face and she has more money than him. It can't be love, because we know that love IS NOT blind. That bitch has to be mentally retarded, seriously. She doesn't know what she's doing.

[Female First]

Mr. Miyagi is Dead!

This is sad! Wax on...wax off!

[Bangkok Post] [Thanks to everyone who sent this to me!]

British Sluts are the Best!

The British has the best fucking celebrities ever! Seriously if you're blonde, have big tits and are a major slut..you will be a huge star in the UK. Orlaith McAllister made it big on Big Brother UK. She was known for being a drunk slut. And here she doesn't let us down. Look at the fucking last picture. Her cellulite is such a turn-on!










[Yeeeah!] [Thanks to Joanne]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Rock out with your cock out!!! - yazie

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dr. Sally Ride

Birthday Sluts

Dougray Scott (40)
Barbara & Jenna Bush (24)
Christina Applegate (34)
Nena Cherry (36)
Jil Hennessey (37)
Amy Grant (45)
John Larroquette (58)
Ricardo Montalban (85)

Days Of Our Lives Turns 40!

by Lahoma00

Days Of Our Lives is one of the hottest soap operas ever. It's so fucking ridiculous! At times this shit has made Passions look like a David Mamet play!

Days has so many good characters. Some of my favorites include:

Porn star Crystal Galore


Buck toothed, Elvis obsessed Susan Banks


Pissed off high schooler Susan aka GIGANTOR


and April Ramirez. April was so fucking hot, especially when she was drunk. Look at this slut!


Days is celebrating it's 40th birthday this month. In honor of this event, I present the top 5 hottest/piece of shit Days stories ever!

5. Vivian Buries Carly Alive



Vivian was one twisted bitch. She was pissed off with Carly so she decided to kill herself and frame Carly. She even threw herself off a balcony! Then she got bored and buried Carly alive! After she did it, she rolled around on the grave like she was having a fucking orgasm and talked to Carly on a walkie-talkie. Remember when Vivian stole Victor and Kate's fertilized egg and implanted it in herself?



Here's where Vivian almost got a lobotomy!

4. Swamp Girl



Bo got lost in the Bayou and almost fell in love with this mud covered bitch. Turns out she was really Princess Greta!

3. Sami as Stan or Garden of Eden (tie)

This was a fucking hard one. It was pretty hot when uber bitch Sami (yes a woman) went around for a few months disguised as Stan (played by that fag from Boy Meets Boy). Sami/Stan even went over to Iraq to help the troops!



However, the Garden of Eden story was also good: Princess Greta (aka Swamp Girl) and Austin have to go to the virtual Garden of Eden, where they must fight Satan and Sami dressed as a witch! All in loincloths!

I'm not making any of this shit up!

2. Marlena is a Serial Killer



A lot of people didn't like this story, but I thought it was pretty hot. Basically, one day Marlena woke up and decided to become a serial killer! She killed half the fucking town, including old Alice Horton, whom she choked with a donut!

But then we found out that Marlena had been brainwashed into becoming a serial killer, and that all her victims were really alive and living on some fucking island that looked just like Salem. Still, this storyline was really hot because it featured a travelling circus, a runaway tiger, Tony pretending he was a ninja, Marlena falling off a building only to land on top of Sami AND Deidre Hall vomiting!




1. Marlena is Possessed by the Devil



You bitches knew this was coming. Marlena gets possessed by the devil, burns churches down, levitates and turns into a demon. Enough said!



The show keeps getting better. Last week the Virgin Mary visited Mimi and told her that she wasn't going to hell for getting an abortion!

Fuck LOST, this show is brilliant!

Happy Birthday Days!!

Happy Turkey Day!

This woman and I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving! I also wish to give thinks to the turkeys that have given themselves so that my stomach is full while I down several martinis. They are really helping me out. I'd hate to be drunk so fast, so having turkey in my belly will totally slow it down. Thanks to you turkeys. I owe you one!

I'm also thankful to Jordan, Parasite Hilton, HoHan, Margaret Perrin and you bitches! All of you help to make this stupid motherfucker the happiest porcupine in the World!

Get drunk y'all! And to those who don't celebrate this shit, get drunk anyway! Happy Thursday!

xoxooxoMichael K

Mischa Barton has a Gross Body!!!

She's not fat, just gross. She's like silly puddy.

[Hollywood Tuna]

Say Goodbye to Alias

As expected this season will be Alias' last. Now that Jennifer Garner is a huge movie star, she's moving on to bigger things and the show is closing its door. This was its fifth season and many predicted the show would not go on. This season's ratings haven't been that amazing so it was an easy decision for the producers.

The producers said: "This news, and its timing, is a mixed-blessing. Though we're obviously very saddened to face the reality that 'Alias' is coming to an end, the lasting quality of every good story is determined by its conclusion, this news gives us the freedom to end the series in the climactic way it deserves."

I'm sad to see this shit go, because I've been watching it from the beginning...but it was starting to suck. Especially Sydney being all pregnant on missions and shit.

Considering all the crap that's on TV, this show will truly be missed!

[Coming Soon]

The Paparazzi Stake Out Xtina!

The paparazzi are fucking nuts! Here's some pics of them staking out Xtina on her wedding day. They take this shit so fucking seriously!









And the result....



[JJB]

Did SPF Get the Photoshop Treatment Too?

You know Kfed and Brit Brit were photoshopped and shit, but was SPF? The full People scans are out and Brit looks...well...glowing. And we know that heffer always looks like hell! SPF is seriously cute, let's hope he doesn't look like either of his parents when he gets older. You know this was like the longest Kfed spent with his own child.

Right after this photoshop he totally hit Spider Club. And that's the truth!





[JJB]

Stretch-Marked Titties!

Why are you going to go and show your nasty ass breasts like that? That is something that needs to be for the privacy of your own home! The last thing I wanna see when you're signing my book is those foul boobies! Cover that shit up. I mean with mesh or something. Damn Fantasia!

[Concrete Loop]

Would You Hit It?

Carmine Gotti? Um...yeah I'd hit it!

Something This Bitch Needs to Hear!

Apparently, ugly-faced Kimbo Stewart was shopping at Kitson in West Hollywood when a woman in her 30s who works nearby came up to her and called that bitch out!

The woman said: "I'M LOOKING YOU IN THE FACE, AND YOU ARE ONE HOMELY BITCH!"

Kimbo was fucking shocked. I mean how does one react to such a thing? If it was me, I'd slap that cunt...but Kimbo was just shocked. Please, like she's never heard that before.

The woman continued: "YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING! DO YOU THROW UP WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR?"

One of Kimbo's friends retaliated with: "YOU'VE GOT A FAT ASS!"

And it the ball fell in the woman's court: "YES, BUT I CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT. EVEN IF YOU GET SKINNY, YOU'LL STILL BE UGLY!"

"I'M A JENNIFER ANISTON FAN AND KIMBERLY CALLED HER 'HOMELY' IN A MAGAZINE INTERVIEW. JENNIFER SAID IT RUINED HER NIGHT. WELL, I JUST RUINED KIMBERLY'S DAY"

Damn, those Aniston fans are nuts. But, I truly believe Kimbo thinks she is a gorgeous woman. She was one of those little girls that was so fucking ugly, but her parents called her a princess and shit and she totally believed them.

[Oh No They Didn't]

The "Real" People Magazine Cover!

Even SPF looks happier!

[Thanks to Nicole]

It's About Time!

"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways. This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time." - Nick & Jessica

Now Chestica's vagina can be free and out in the open!

[People] [Thanks to all who sent this to me!]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Does this street make my ass look big? - Mel Jo

Hot Slut of the Day!

Little Henery Chicken Hawk!

Birthday Sluts

Colin Hanks (28)
Katherine Heigl (27)
Ruben Santiago-Hudson (49)
Billy Connolly (63)

Is Nachos Hot?

Ok, because I think he's totally hot in an Encino Man kind of way. I know he's an asshole, but he's hot. We could never do the deed though, because he's stuck it in Parasite. And I don't want some fucked up jungle STD.

Harry Potter is Horny!!

[Big Thanks to Dave!]

Don't Kill Bree!

Rumors are swirling that one of the Desperate Housewives will bite the dust at the end of the season to boost ratings and create more buzz around the show. And who will be the unlucky lady to eat shit? Fingers are pointing at Bree Van de Kemp herself: Marcia Cross. Producers and writers believe that she is the perfect lady to meet her demise, storywise.

A source close to the show said: "Ever since the show premiered, there's been talk that one of the key characters would be killed off,"

"And ABC and show execs want a blockbuster plotline to woo bigger audiences and regain critical acclaim for the prime time hit. TV dramas like Dallas and Lost drew huge numbers when they hyped killing off a key cast member. As a result, after a recent meeting between writers and show execs, Marcia is being pegged as the girl most likely to go in May."

But Marcia? Not my beloved Bree! She's my fucking fave. Why not Eva LongWhORIA?! I hate that bitch. She was born to die a gruesome death on TV!

[National Enquirer]

DJ Tanner is All Jesus and Shit!

Candace Cameron is now all Margaret Perrin and shit! She is no longer dark-sided. Her website is totally fucked up. I took the Good Test and totally passed! But I think everybody passes. Here's what Candace has to say:

When I was growing up, my family wasn'’t Christian. We didn't talk about God and I didn'’t know anything about him. When I was twelve years old, my parents told us we were going to church; a friend had invited us. It was strange to me, and I giggled at the thought of God. But as we continued to go every Sunday, my heart felt warm, and I saw how happy my mom, brother and sister were. I decided that I wanted to feel the same way. It was Jesus Christ that was producing this change in them, so one Sunday morning, I asked Jesus into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior. I was baptized along with some of my family at a later service. I was extremely excited about what I thought was my new Christian life.

Shit, she's fucked. If you tell me Kimmy Gibler is born again, I'm going to jump out the window!

Visit DJ's Site

[Thanks to Lauren]

That Poor Fucking Pigeon!

I hope he's shitting in his hands!

[Concrete Loop]

Thank You for Being a Friend!

Betty White, Bea Arthur and Rue McClanahan promoted The Golden Girls DVD in the Chelsea area of NYC yesterday. I so wanted to go! I work right by there. Estelle Getty couldn't make it, because she's very ill. They all still pretty much look the same.

God, I still watch this show on reruns. I'm beyond gay. My favorite was always Blanche! Duh!

Kitty Litter Cake?!

I have never in my life heard of this shit. Kitty Litter Cake is truly fucking disgusting, but apparently kids love it. Oh hell no if somebody brings this to Thanksgiving I will have to beat them over the head with my martini! Only after I empty the glass!

Get the Recipe!

Other pics

[CityRag]

Kiki Gets Horse Hair!

Kiki sported a new look recently. The bitch got hair extensions. Some think she looks better, I think she looks worse. Her short hair always look greasy and disgusting, but the long hair makes it ten times worse. Her boobs look totally sagga-sad in this top. I try to like her guys, but I just can't.

She's a fucking greaseball!





[Lime-Light]

Now Let's Get to Mimi!

Mimi opened last night's American Music Awards paying homage to Thanksgiving by looking like a fucking stuffed turkey! Bitch isn't fat, but she's a big-boned girl. And that dress didn't help matters. It was so fucking tight she could hardly sing, but she can sing. Dayum she can sing. She joked later that her dress was falling off, because it wasn't sewn on right.

No bitch, you fucking split the seams with your fat ass!







What stylist told her this looked hot?





"I am fucking nuts. I am fucked up. I am also a tranny." - Mimi




[Pics: Hollywood Rag]

Brangelina Goin' to Pakistan!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt plan to spend their Thanksgiving touring the ravaged parts of Pakistan that were destroyed by a monster earthquake.

Angie told reporters at a UN event in Geneva which Brad attended: "We'll be on our way to Pakistan in a matter of days."

Angie also recently received her Cambodian Citizenship which she says will give her a stronger bond to her son's culture.

On a serious note, I feel that at least this ho is doing something! So many celebs are all talk and go to glamorous charity events, but actually never get in the trenches. They never witness firsthand what is going on in the world. Because of that, I think she's totally awesome and a true class act.

However, she's still mean-eating whore!

[People]

HoHan & Hilary at The American Music Awards

We're going to get to Mimi later, but did anyone catch these two bitches perform? HoHan seriously performs like she's gotta take a huge shit. And her voice basically makes Bai Ling sound like a fucking trained opera singer. When she went into Seventeen by Steve Nicks, I nearly fainted. Who the fuck does she think she is? Bitch can't sing so the background singers had to work extra hard to cover her ass! Those shoes were hot though.



Here she is holding up a picture of probably someone that died from hearing her nasty ass voice. At least she feels bad.



Now let's get to Hilary. Poor, poor Hilary. First of all, her fucking song sucks. It's like a B-Side of a Disney compilation album. Second of all, she looked like a Sesame Street hooker. The thing about performances at the AMAs is that they are so fucking cheap. Look at this piece of shit chair she came down on. Those wires are about to snap any minute sending Hils and her teeth of steel flying!



She's totally trying to fly away in this picture. Those shoes are hot though, but they would be hotter on a Thai tranny.

Antonio Sabata Jr.'s Hot Gay Sex Scene!

But Can They Sing? star Antonio Sabato Jr. has a hot gay scene in an upcoming move called Deadly Skies. Sounds like a winner and will most likely be direct-to-video.

Here is the plot of this most-likey Oscar frontrunner:

The sky is literally falling in this thriller as one of the nation's leading astronomers, Madison Kelsey (Rae Dawn Chong) believes she is tracking a huge rogue asteroid rocketing toward earth. However, she can't get anyone in authority to take her seriously because the mysterious asteroid exists only in the mathematical calculations of her computer program and it's not yet visible. With only hours remaining until probable impact, Madison enlists the aid of discredited former Air-Force Colonel, Richard Donovan (Antonio Sabato Jr.) Together they hatch a plan to resurrect a mothballed military laser in order to blast the asteroid out of the sky before it destroys the planet. The only problem with their plan, the laser is under guard in the middle of an Air Force base and the guards have orders to shoot to kill.

What does this have to do with hot gay sex?!

Click here to download the entire sex scene!

[Thanks to Gil]

Eva LongWHORIA Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving!

Our favorite piece of Desperate Trash was at Koo Koo recently most likely picking up dick when she didn't have enough cash to pay the parking valet. So the stupid bitch handed him a fucking dollar even though it cost $2. The conversation went something like this:

Attendant: "You only gave me a dollar?"

WHORIA: "Jesus! It's Thanksgiving. Be nice. FUCK!"

And she drove off.

Isn't Christmas and Easter Jesus' day? I don't think it's right that she's giving Jesus another day? I mean he already has like two.

[Defamer] [Special Gracias to LA]

Vintage Ashton Kutcher

He's such a fag!

[Thanks to Pablo]

What She Needs is Some Lipo!

Parasite Hilton's idiot boyfriend, Nachos apologized to Kelly Osbourne for ruining her birthday party in Las Vegas. Nachos caused about $100,000 damage after setting off the sprinkler system at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas causing havoc on Kelly's big 21st. He sent her card and a car brochure asking for her forgiveness and telling her to pick a car out as a gift.

She doesn't need a car! She needs some fucking plastic surgery and an attitude adjustment!

[Contact Music]

Tom Cruise is a Control Freak!

Tom Cruise has reportedly purchased an Ultrasound machine so that he can moniter his alien fetus anytime he wants. Katie Holmes isn't due until next year, but Tom wants to make sure that the new Prince of Scientology is safe at all times.

He also told Barbara Walters in an interview that the pair won't get married until after their alien is born. They are planning a summer/autumn wedding.

There's not going to be a wedding, is there? Once Katie gives birth to his alien spawn he will get rid of her! He will finally has the key to make him immortal!

[Ireland Online]

What Do We Think of SPF?

Sean Preston Federline is everywhere now! Finally his People Magazine cover has been revealed! He's kind of hot. He looks so grossed out by KFed. I'd be too.







[Smart]

The Dlisted Report

Milo Ventimiglia will play Sylvester Stallone's son in Rocky Balboa. In the sixth installment about the mythic Philadelphia boxer, Rocky has long since retired but is drawn back to the ring one last time. He is challenged by a powerful new champion, by personal tragedy and ultimately by himself. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Keith Robinson will play C.C. White in the screen-version of Dreamgirls directed by Bill Condon. Rehearsals are currently in progress with shooting beginning in January. Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson, Anika Noni Rose, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy currently star. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Kevin Cahoon has joined the Broadway-bound musical adaptation of The Wedding Singer. Performances of the show begin on April 27th. Laura Benanti, Stephen Lynch and Felicity Finley currently star. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

THE TOP 3:

This George Takei-produced scene was oringally cut from "Star Trek" but is included on the Collectors Edition DVD. - Wirthy

Nurse: "Ma'am, I'm sorry. The doctor and priest tried everything in their powers to bring your husband back to life..." (shares replay with widow on cameraphone). - La Angel

I think my clit just crawled inside me, never to be seen again - Maneater

[Thanks to Leogem]


Click here for NSFW version!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Vanna White

[For PorVidaJB]

Birthday Sluts

Vincent Cassel (39)
Oded Fehr (35)
Maxwell Caulfield (46)
Harolyn Blackwell (50)
B.J. Crosby (53)
Bruce Vilanch (57)
Joe Eszterhas (61)
Robert Towne (71)

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

It's Jordan! And I totally say she looks hotter now!

[Pic: Awful Plastic Surgery] [Thanks to Katherine]

Elisha Cuthbert Needs Some Nads

Elisha Cuthbert seems to be all about the bleaching. I'm not a fan of that shit, because then it glistens in the sun and shit. She really needs to wax. She looks all lovely from far away but click on the pic and you can totally see her stache!

[Egotastic!]

Morgan Fairchild HATES Bai Ling!

Sunday night's But Can They Sing was yet another hour of absolute horror and mayhem. The episode started with the group being told they were going to do a number together. When they found out it was Superfreak, Bai had no idea what that song was about. But when she found out it was about a freak, she decided she would play the title role.





Morgan didn't like that and was totally disgusted.





But through all their ups and downs. The performance was another trainwreck starring Bai Ling. God, she needs to be the mother of my children!

But Can They Sing Stars "Superfreak"





Poor, poor Morgan. Why mess up all that class?







Antonio Sabato Jr. went home. He was disgusting anyway. Michael Capon is the total hotness, though.



Morgan is totally copying Bai. I've seen pubic hair that looks softer than that wig.





Carmine is ga-ross!



Bai made it another week! Thanks to Jesus! She didn't disappoint either. She was given The Ramones' I Wanna Be Sedated. Bitch can't even pronounce that shit! During rehearsals she kept saying seduced! Dumb bitch. But her performance was true performance art. It was a fucking disaster of epic proportions!

Bai Ling "I Wanna Be Sedated"











Again, I use this post to please ask you to SAVE BAI LING! Go to Vh1 and VOTE NOW for BAI! She is the soul of the fucking vagina of this show!

11 Days Late!

When is she gonna blow?! Can't they induce? Here she is going to the doctor probably to beg his ass to get that shit out of her!

Trina Has a Perfect Body!

Trina is a rapper and she needs to stay away from the bodysuits. Or maybe she had that shit painted on. Seriously, that shit isn't right. It's not. Especially the leopard ones.



[Concrete Loop]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: And the celeb is..



John Goodman! Congrats to nuno for being the 1st to get it right!

Ok! Xtina's Dress is Fug!

Here's some scans from Ok! Magazine of Xtina's wedding. That dress looks like a whipped cream mess! She looks happy and that's all that matters, right? No, but let's say yeah. And why is Jordy wearing a Pashmina? That must be custom. I didn't know he was Jewish!

What is Toothy Hunting For?

My bet is that some jizz got lodged up there from the night before.

What the Hell is Mischa Thinking?!

Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler are in Hawaii for Thanksgiving and like usual grossing everyone out with their PDA. I know he ain't got big dick, so what is Mischa doing with his ass. I know I ask this question all the time, but for serious?! Is this bitch blind?! Instead of color blind is she ugly blind?

I mean looks aren't everything...ok yeah they are.

He is not packing, but he looks like he has a serious case of cheese dick. And not cheddar either, more like feta.









[Smart]

Ricky Martin Wants to Piss on You!

Ricky Martin is a fucking freak! I think I'm in love now. He told Blender magazine some fucked up shit. I knew he was dirty. He's totally a urinal prince!

When asked: "Describe the last porn movie you watched?"

He said: "I love giving the golden shower. I've done it before in the shower. It's like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different."

First of all, what does that have to do with the last porno you watched? Second of all, I wouldn't call it sexy. Actually it's nasty. If some bitch tries to piss on me, I'm calling 911. However pissing on someone is totally Trix for Kids.

Ricky was also asked about his last one night stand to which he responded:

"The other night. We met, we did it, we left. I don’t know if we're going to meet again."
Another question was: How would you characterize your taste in sex?

"I'm open to everything. There are moments for soft, gentle sex. And there are moments for a good spank in the butt, the kind of sex where you pull the hair and grab the ears. I'm pretty open to whatever flows."

The point of all of this, he's a fucking flamer and I'd hit it.

[WWTDD]

Kate Moss is a True Artist

This video is of Kate Moss probably high on coke doing some sort of dance with paper during a photo shoot. Maybe it's performance art. Maybe the paper represents the media and she's Pete Doherty high on heroin. Whatever it is..it's hot. Martha Graham needs to give her a contract ASAP!

Watch it

[Gawker] [Thanks to Jenn]

Guesses as to How Kelly Osbourne Ended Up in Crutches!

One of those corsets she wears to take her waist from a 40" to 12" finally snapped one of her ribs in two.

That turban is tragic.

[Lime-Light]

Ashlee Simpson at Letterman

Gross as usual!





Here's Joe Simpson's reaction when he saw his daughter in that lacy bustier. He probably had a woody too. Thank God we can't see that.



[JJB]

Oh Toothy! You're Soooo Funny!

This is Toothy: "You know it's flattering when there's a rumor that says I'm bisexual. It means I can play more kinds of roles."

This is Me: "I know! You? Bisexual? You're a big fudge packer! Strictly Dickly, so!"

This is Toothy: "I'm open to whatever people want to call me. I've never really been attracted to men sexually, but I don't think I would be afraid of it if it happened."

This is Me: "Stop joking around now! You are hurting Kiki's feeling by saying you've never been attracted to her!"

[Contact Music]

JLove Hasn't Been a Happy Camper Lately!

JLove has been looking so angry and mad lately. And I wondered why? And then I took a look at her boyfriend and figured it out. Bitch is sexually frustrated! She needs a good fuck. But her boyfriend looks happy because he's dating that ho.

Or maybe I'm totally off base and she's just busy trying to whisper to ghosts and shit.





[Lime-Light]

R.I.P. Sam!

A few weeks ago I wrote about the ugliest dog in the World: Sam. He was like a triple crown ugly dog winner or some shit like that. Well I have bad news for all of you. Sam is now in heaven! He died Friday afternoon just short of his 15th birthday.

Sam's owner said: "I don't think there'll ever be another Sam,"

"Some people would think that's a good thing."

Don't cry! Sam is in a better place now. And Sam just so you know Kimberly Stewart is now holding down the title for you. All is well, you can now rest!

Visit Sam's Website

[CNN] [Thanks to Lo]

CZJ on Turkey

CZJ doesn't eat turkey on Thanksgiving, because they totally gross her out. She apparently can't even be around them.

She said: "They make me feel ill. They're ugly, clammy, cold and flabby

"I just won't go near them and I certainly won't cook them. They terrify me. I hate all the folds of pimpled flesh and the disgusting grey wrinkles around their legs"

What happens to these bitches? When she was a poor, little Welsh girl she probably ate that shit up! But now that she's rich and shit, she is suddenly grossed out by them? Seriously when chicks get a little money and fame, the weirdest shit is suddenly below them and gross.

Maybe turkeys remind her of her pre-botox face! It's too close to home!

[Life Style Extra]

Oprah's Favorite Things is Like Winning the Lottery!

Yesterday on Oprah she awarded her studio audience with her annual favorite things. This show is the most depressing hour of television. She basically gives them thousands of dollars worth of shit. Everything from a dumb cookie to a fucking $1,800 watch!



Oprah first started by introducing her studio audience which was filled with Hurricane Katrina volunteers and workers. They work so hard and have given us so much, so why not fill their cars with a bunch of crap worth at least $25,000!



Here's this bitch before learning she was in the favorite things audience. She's all serious and shit, getting ready to bring on the tears and tell her story about what a good person she is.



And then once Oprah tells them it's the favorite things show, this bitch nearly shits in her bloomers!



This lady had a heart attack and the paramedics had to be called.



There's that fugly $1,800 watch worn by some reindeer. Wait so it a watch or a Reindeer belt?



But they like it anyway.





The grossest part came when Ope changed into her favorite cords and tried to be sexy.



Gross!



Other items on her list included a fucking laptop, an iPod and a fucking Burberry coat.

I am so jealous.

See the list here

You Guys Called It! We Knew He Had a Big One!

Jordy Bratman, husband to Xtina gave an unusual toast at his rehearsal dinner Friday in California. He reportedly got up in front of everyone held his glass and thanked his parents for giving him "good looks and a large penis."

Everyone laughed, but Xtina just smiled.

We knew this bitch was dickmatized and you guys totally called it months. However, I wanna see proof of that shit! His face ain't for shit, so he better be packing large! Personally if you gotta brag about it, you probably don't got it. Now I'm totally getting my hopes down!

[UK Flava]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH hip-hop mogul has a group of women he calls "The Chickenheads" who are employed solely to provide oral sex whenever he wants? No wonder his "girlfriend" left town.

Diddy

WHICH squeaky-clean young singer/actress was overheard snorting cocaine in the ladies' room at a recent concert at Bowery Ballroom?

Mandy Moore

WHICH cosmetics billionaire split with his long-suffering wife after a string of mistresses? He bought a pricey townhouse for one, but now he has another.

Ron Perelman

That's Four Ugly Titties Right There!

Friends of Kiki Dunkst are becoming worried for her, because she's a fucking party slut! And to make matters worse she's taken up friends with Queen Drunk herself: Tara Reid. The two showed up together for a party at Privilege in L.A.

Oh God. That is some ugly drinking going on. Those two bitches drunk must look like a straight-up Picasso. Messes of all Messes.

And not to mention defying the laws of gravity. One has tits that touch her chin and the other has tits that touch her toes.

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Ali Larter, David Carradine, Tom Arnold & Talia Shire have joined Homo Erectus: A Caveman Comedy for director Adam Rifkin. The film centers on Ishbo (Rifkin), a philosophical caveman who loves Fardart (Larter), but she only has eyes for Ishbo's studly, dimwitted brother, Thudnik (MacArthur). Carradine and Shire will play Ishbo's parents, while Arnold will play Rog, a gay caveman. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Justin Theroux will make directorial debut on Dedication. Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore, Mia Farrow, Harvey Kietel & Bob Balaban will star in the film. The story concerns a misogynistic children's book writer (Crudup) who is forced to collaborate with a young female illustrator (Moore) when his writing partner and only friend (Keitel) dies. Farrow will play the domineering mother of Moore's character, Balaban the book's publisher. Shooting begins early next year in Manhattan. [Variety]

The Biggest Loser which is currently in its 2nd season has been picked up for a 3rd. NBC is pleased with the second season's ratings and will start production soon on the third. The main players are expected to return. [Reality Blurred]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

That bitch Tyra Banks glued our hands together. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go on her new show. She will drug you and superglue your hands. That bitch crazy. - Mm Hmm


[Pic: Hollywood Rag]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dr. Robin L. Smith

[For StupidGaySlut]

Birthday Sluts

Mark Ruffalo (38)
Scarlett Johansson (21)
Tyler Hilton (22)
Mariel Hemingway (44)
Jamie Lee Curtis (47)
Donny Deutsch (48)
Terry Gilliam (65)

Brangelina Go House Huntin'

The lesbian couple looked at a townhouse in DC. Why are they moving to DC? Probably because Angie's all political and shit. It seems like she's fucking talk about that shit everyday. She looks hot and Brad looks like some tired shit.

He's thinking "I wonder if she likes it. Because if she doesn't, then I don't like it...but if she does, I do. But I shouldn't ask her, because she hates that. Shit I wish I knew if she liked it!"

Pete Doherty Heads to Rehab!

Pete Doherty is currently in Arizona receiving treatment for drug addiction at the same place where Kate Moss did. It's gonna take a fucking army to get that bitch sober. They seriously would have to drain his entire body of every liquid and start all over again.

Better yet, this slut needs an exorcism!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Dpoll Results: Who Would You NOT Want to Bump Into in a Dark Alley?

Margaret Perrin took home the top prize! However, Alien Fetus would totally scare my ass more!

Thanks for voting y'all!

Baby Luv is in a Safer Place Now!

About a week ago I posted a story about how Parasite Hilton purchased a pet monkey and named it Baby Luv. She showed up to the Agent Provocateur story in Las Vegas and toted him around like he was a fucking purse! But Baby Luv didn't like that shit and clawed and bit at that fucking slut's face! Here are the pics of that day. Peta seriously needs to be on her ass!

I love how she thinks the store is her own personal catwalk. She's such a tool! And take off your sunglasses bitch! They are ugly as fuck and you're indoors!

Because of laws in California restricting Baby Luv as a pet...she had to give him up. Thank God for him! Jesus loves him.

Just a Tease of Xtina's Wedding Dress!

Looks like OK! got the pics. They should be up soon. By the looks of the top of her dress it isn't the gaudy mess I was hoping for!

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE: Here are the celebs behind the picture!



Jennifer Jason Leigh, Cyndi Lauper and Julianne Moore

Congrats to Mike for being the first to get it right!

This Woman is NUTS!

This lady is fucking so hot. I love crazy, fat women! They are hotter than fried ice cream! Basically this woman screams at these people for taping her ass. She goes on and on. I would LOVE to see her in a death cage with Margaret Perrin. You know our girl Marge would rip this bitch a new one, because she's a God Warrior - But it would still be hot.

She's so dark-sided!

Watch it

[Thanks to JamesG]

Pam is Going to Topple Over!

Sweet Britney?

Access Hollywood is reporting that Brit Brit Spears is in talks to replace Christina Applegate in Sweet Charity on Broadway. To make matters worse Brit Brit has insisted that Kfed have a role in the show and he is in talks to dance alongside his wife. Brit and Kfed attended a performance last week and are in serious talks to make their Broadway debuts next year when Christina's contract is up.

Please let this shit come true! I'd give anything to see Trailer Trash the Musical on Broadway! And Kfed's corn rows will totally go with the show. Hey, why not give SPF a role too?

[Playbill]

Mischa Barton is Mad!

Mischa Barton took time out from getting her hair done to yell at her friend. This bitch is not pretty and she's especially fug when she's chewing someone out. Actually, when she's opening her mouth up. I wonder what he did to her that was so wrong. Maybe he totally slept with Ryan, because I'd be mad at him too if he did that.







[Lime-Light]

George Bush is a Genius!

Watch The Dumb One try to escape a reporter's question only to find those GD doors locked! He should've used his Jedi powers to open em!

Watch it!

Bitch Doesn't Look Happy!

Brit Brit Spears hit a NYC club on Saturday night looking like fucking hell. At least she's getting her body back though. Poor Brit, I honestly feel for this girl. But then I remember that she has money and it's all her fault. So no I don't feel sorry for her.

She should just kick Kfed to the curb, go get a hot dude and get her fucking hair done. Oh she needs a facial too. Both kinds!

Chestica Hides the Fact That She Ain't Wearing Her Ring!

Chestica Simpson spent some time with "friend" Trace Ayala and tried to hide the fact that she's not wearing her wedding ring. Trace is currently engaged to Elisha Cuthbert, but that shouldn't stop Chestica!

I don't know anything about wedding rings, but is it normal not to wear yours? I'm not speaking about this bitch, because her marriage is a total sham. But I'm speaking in general.

She probably lost her ring while finger fucking Trace in the ass!










[JJB] [Big ups to Lynne]

Madge's Old Lady Snatch!

Does she think she looks sexy? This is something that I don't need to see. Thank God that spandex is blocking our view of what is most likely the entrance to the Hell, but she would totally say it's the entrance to like Isaac's palace or some shit.

Maybe she's trying to it lay it on the one. That macrobiotic diet would do that shit to you.

Didn't Nadia Komenich wear this same shit to the Olympics?







People please don't try and grab her twat! You have no idea what that would do to your hand! You'll need all kinds of surgery!



[Purple Twinkie]

The Feud That I've Never Heard About!

On Friday's Tyra Banks show, Tyra was finally going to get to the bottom of what she called "the hardest time" in her life. Her feud with Naomi Campbell made her almost leave the modeling industry. Why have I never heard of this fucking feud? She made it sound like World War III.

Basically she brought Naomi on without an audience so it can be extra serious and shit. And then for the next 30 minutes or so she talked about how Naomi treated her like shit. And she wouldn't let Naomi talk! Naomi would try and Tyra would open her big fat mouth and keep on a yappin!



Naomi came off as quiet and calm while Tyra just looked like a fucking drama queen. Models have it soooo hard!







In the end it was all kisses and hugs with Naomi thinking to herself "I still hate this motherfucking cunt and I wish my ring could turn into a dagger right now so I can finally end her miserable life"

Nonetheless, Tyra is soo jealous of Naomi!

[FourFour]

Guy Ritchie Over Kabbalah?

Guy Ritchie is finally turning his back on Kabbalah because he realizes that it almost costing him his entire career. His latest film is basically going to be a flop, because Madge forced him to focus on Kabbalah themes in his movie.

A friend said: "I think Guy is finally realizing that following Kabbalah hasn't been his greatest career move.

"He has been notably less enthusiastic about it of late and has apparently been staying away from the Kabbalah Centre."

I wonder what her royal messness The Kabbalah Queen has to say about all of this. You know if he turned his back on that shit, his marriage would basically be over. He doesn't need her old ass anyway! She's going to bring his career down along with her own!

[Ireland Online]

Those Crazy Kids!

Xtina and her husband Jordan Bratman spent yesterday doing a little shopping in Napa Valley and were all over each other! Those two are seriously in love! Xtina showed off her hot wedding ring. Her skin still makes me go "ick." There's like ten layers of tanner on that shit!














[JJB]

Justin to Brit Brit: "Dump His Ass"

Justin Timberlake made a call to his ex-girlfriend Brit Brit Spears earlier this month to give her a little advice. Justin told her that he had seen Kfed out in Las Vegas chatting up several girls. Justin advised Brit to dump his ass before it's too late. Brit apparently trusts Justin and is ready to take his advice.

Brit and family are currently in NYC trying to work out their differences. She's reportedly using this trip to save her marriage and if this shit doesn't work she's ready to walk out on him.

Kfed is one of the worst gold diggers I've ever fucking seen. He so doesn't care anymore. I hope that slut gave him a shitty pre-nup. He seriously doesn't deserve shit.

You know seeing this old pic of Justin and Brit Brit made me miss the olden days of them together. They truly belong together and since both are pretty much gross right now, they can still be together!

[National Ledger]

Maddox Must've Done Something Wrong!

Angie Jolie and her son Maddox hit the Smithsonian for a little mother and son bonding. But Maddox must've not been behaving because she mad his ass walk! And you know he's not happy about that shit. You know some fucked up shit is going to go down at their house since she pissed off "The Golden Child."

Angie looks the hotness, though.











[JustJared]

Naomi Campbell & Robbie Williams Get It On!

Rebecca White used to be Naomi Campbell's personal assistant claims that Naomi had a long affair with Robbie Williams while she was dating Flavio Briatore.

She said: "I walked into Naomi's bedroom and found them cuddled up in her bed

"It was the apartment Naomi shared with Flavio with whom she was supposed to be having a serious relationship. But Naomi didn't try to hide the fact that she was cheating on Flavio with Robbie"

Rebecca also said that Naomi became obsessed with Robbie always checking up on him and always calling.

"When Robbie was on the road in 2001, Naomi would have me track him down to various hotels and send flowers with the message, 'Thinking of you'

"It must have been very suffocating for Robbie because he never called her back to say thank you, and that got Naomi very upset"

Robbie pissed Naomi off? I'm surprised that bitch is still alive. But I bet you more than anything Robbie doesn't have a dick right now or a fake one at least. Because you know that bitch cut off. She's fucking Cuckoo like that!

[Entertainmentwise]

Yup, Parasite Hilton's X is still gross!

I thought that Paris Latsis might "hotten up" after his break-up with Parasite. But, no dice!

[Hollywood Rag]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

Which MTV "Real World" cast member - allegedly, if you believe Craigslist - is casting 30 co-stars for her first adult film? According to the ad: "All guys that will be featured in the film will be in masks (think 'Phantom of the Opera' eye masks), so strong jaw line and pretty eyes are a must."

Trishelle!

Which top teen magazine editor surprised her table at the Fresh Air Fund benefit on Thursday by admitting: "If I don't like a guy, I'll sleep with him on the first date. If I like him I'll hold out longer." There's some dating advice for young women that you won't read in her editor's letter!

Atoosa Rubenstein

Which prominent crime suspect better hope the cops find him before friends of his victim do? It's said she knows people who know people, if you know what I mean.

Peter Braunstein

[Gatecrasher]

Liar Liar!

Remember that dumb piece of trash Corey Clark and his allegations that he fucked Paula Abdul? Nobody seemed to believe him and after an "intense" investigation was performed, Fox didn't find anything. Corey just won't let things go. He has contacted The National Enquirer claiming that he had a picture of him in a passionate embrace with Paula. When The NE finally saw the pic the picture was obviously not Paula.

The picture was probably and Clay Aiken. You know those two are doing the deed.

[Page Six]

Gold Diggers Unite!

Porn Star Jessica Jaymes went on record to say that nothing happened between her and Nick Lachey. There were reports that during a bachelor party a few months ago Jessica and two gal pals took Nick Lachey into a bedroom where they performed a sexual performance involving whipped cream and toys. Before Nick got too involved a friend of Jessica Jaymes' pulled Nick out of the bedroom and out of danger. Nick denied this as did Jessica Jaymes.

But now she's changing her story and is shopping around her side around as well as syndication rights worth $1 Million to her. Jessica Jaymes promises that she will tell her story along with her two friends that were involved.

So far nobody is biting, because the story probably fucking sucks! $1 Million and no sex tape? Fuck that, I want to see the nitty gritty. I don't want to hear some stupid bitch talking about how she fucked Nick Lachey! Besides Jessica Simpson doesn't give a fuck! She's busy doing her own dick!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was the #1 movie this weekend bringing in $101.4 Million. The film set a record for the biggest November opening ever. Walk the Line took the #2 spot with just over $22 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Jessica Simpson is close to signing on to Employee of the Month opposite Dane Cook. Simpson would play a cashier who makes the employees at a discount superstore go ga-ga. Cook is set as one of the two dorky workers who are vying for her attention by competing for the "Employee of the Month" title. Filming begins next Spring. [The Hollywood Reporter]

David Bowie will play inventor Nikola Tesla in The Prestige for director Christopher Nolan. Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine also star in the story of rival magicians in early 20th century London. The Tesla character is based on the real-life Serbian-American who discovered the rotating magnetic field. Shooting begins in January. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

"And you were there, and you, and you and you!" Baby Luv said in wonder. "I can't believe it was a dream." - Jackie

Hot Slut of the Day!

Birdie from McDonald's!

Birthday Sluts

Bjork (40)
Jena Malone (21)
Ryan Starr (23)
Cherie Johnson (30)
Nicollette Sheridan (42)
Cherry Jones (49)
Lorna Luft (53)
Goldie Hawn (60)

Congratulations Xtina!

Xtina married Jordan Bratman yesterday at a sunset ceremony in California's Napa Valley region. The ceremony took place at Rutherford Family Vineyards in Rutherford, CA. She wore a Christian Lacroix wedding gown that seemed to be 20s inspired. The two also asked in lieu of gifts to make donations to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

This is how you do it. Not like that piece of trash Brit Brit getting married in practically a fucking track suit. And I must say Xtina should stay away from the red lipstick. She looks so much hotter without it.

But no doubt Mystic Tan worked overtime on this slut's big day. And our prayers are with Xtina for marrying such a fug. Let's hope he makes up for it in the dick department!





[People]

JLove Needs a Nap!

Those jeans are beyond fug! Bitch get away from the Starbucks and get into a fucking bed!

Kate Moss Getting Trashed!

Ok not really getting trashed, just having some drinks with her friends at a hotel in NYC. She is still gorgeous, but looks a bit tired.



"Maria, call for the coke!"



"I'll smoke this ciggie while I wait for the real shit"



"I know you just didn't say 30 minutes. My nostrils can't wait that long!"



"Hipeee! Coke Party! Coke Party!"






She's totally sober!

[Lime-Light]

Hot Slut of the Week: Don Knotts

Age: 81
Birthday: July 21, 1924
Birth Name: Jesse Donald Knotts

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: November 17, 2005
Claim to Fame: Played Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show!

Where is he now? Recently voiced a character on Chicken Little.

Why is he Hot Slut of the Week? Because Mr. Furley is one of the hottest characters on TV! If a guy had to be Hot Slut of the Month, he'd be it!

Bush Makes a Gorgeous Woman!

That basically looks like Chestica Simpson without make-up and Photoshop!

Brit Brit and That Ugly Fur Bag!

A tired looking Brit Brit Spears went shopping in NYC with greasy hair and that fucking hideous fur bag. I still have no idea where SPF is!

Eva & Tony Sittin' in a Tree

Eva LongWHORIA and her man Tony Parker get sexy at the beach. That fat lady is totally peeing their way.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Petula Clark

Birthday Sluts

Bo Derek (49)
Mike D (40)
Ming-Na (42)
Sean Young (46)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (48)
Estelle Parsons (78)