Nicolette Sheridan Nipples Come Out and Play!

Yeah she's like eleventy, but still fucking hot as shit! I personally think she has some nice ta-ta's and has every right to show that shit off. Total boob job though.

Teri Snatcher eat your heart out!



[Hollywood Rag]

Wentworth Miller Without a Shaved Head!

Dayum! That shit is kinky and not in a good way! Keep on shaving that shit!

J.Lo does Pirrelli!

JLo was chosen as Pirelli's cover girl for their famous 2006 calendar. Bitch is trying to be sexy and shit. Some of it works for me, but then I remember what a fucking bitch she is!

These pictures would be hot if it was any other chick!

The calendar also includes Karen Elson, Kate Moss and many others!

Click here to see it!

Angelina Cheating on Brad?

Angelina Jolie's ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller claims that the two are still together and most likely will always be together. He also claims that the two are still sleeping together unbeknownst to Bradley Pitt. Several witness claim they overheard Jonny speaking to a friend at the U2 concert in Las Vegas about Angie.

He said: "Mr. Pitt has no idea who Angie really is,"

"We love each other deeply, and Mr. Pitt, I'm sure, doesn't know how much we love each other or how often!"

Jonny also said that he has plans to spend Christmas with Angie, Bradley and family in London.

"I don't think Brad's going to like it, but Angie and I have only become closer since our divorce."

Hmm...interesting..mostly likely not true, but still interesting. Jonny's career is in the shit-can and he's probably just trying to get some publicity. When does Angie have the fucking time?!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Xtina & Jordy to Get Hitched Today!

Xtina and her husband-to-be Jordan Bratman will marry today in Napa Valley, CA. That is a fucking hot car and bitch looks pissed. We give our sincerest congratulations to the happy couple and can't wait to be there when their divorce is final!

We're such pessimists!

Christmas Wedding for Vince & Jen?

Reports are that Vince Vaughn has proposed to girlfriend Jennifer Aniston after having a dream about it. He feels that because of his dream, Jennifer is now "the one". Jennifer has accepted according to Vince's mom.

She said: "Jen told me she had woken from her dream crying, but crying with joy."

"When Jen told Vince her story, she didn't know he had been waiting for the right moment to propose. He decided there would never be a better one."
The two are expected to marry this Christmas according to Vince's mother.

Jen's spokeswhore denies the claim.

You know she wants to beat Brangelina's asses to the alter!

[The National Enquirer]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Never bite the head that feeds you. - FMouie

[Thanks JM]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jeanne Cooper

Birthday Sluts

Rocci DiSpirito (39)
Kerri Strug (28)
Savion Glover (32)
Jason Scott Lee (39)
Jodie Foster (43)
Meg Ryan (44)
Allison Janney (45)
Ann Curry (49)
Kathleen Quinlan (51)
Calvin Klein (63)
Ted Turner (67)
Larry King (72)

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

Chestica Gets Dumped By Her Publicist!

Brad Cafarelli used to represent Chestica Simpson. I say USED TO because the bitch quit! Brad was sick and tired of working with Chestica's pyscho father, Joe Simpson. Joe apparently made Brad's life a living hell with his constant demands. He was also becoming extremely exhausted with trying to make her marriage look like it was still going strong even though we all know it's as real as her tits.

I'm not even this slut's PR rep and even exhausted in trying to believe her piece of shit marriage isn't a total sham!

[Gawker]

Dancing with Herpes!

According to sources Tara Reid and her camp are trying desperately to get her on the second season of Dancing with the Stars. They are hard at work trying to redo her image and think her appearance on the reality show would help her out.

A source said: "Tara and her team are desperate to give her an image makeover. Her agent is aggressively trying to get Tara a spot on the second season of the show."

I take pity on her partner. Having Tara Reid's coochie held over your head during a lift must be the lowest day in a person's life.

[Gabsmash]

Fake!

The relationship not the ring. Although, I do feel sorry for that poor diamond. It is forced to be hugged up against those sweaty and skanky hands for at least 2 weeks. That poor diamond should free itself. Someone should do something.

"Fuck, she looks like the crypt keeper when I'm sober! Gotta get Tequila now!" - Talan





[JJB]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: The celeb behind the smile is...



Ginger Spice aka Geri Haliwell!

Congrats to me for being the 1st to get it right!

Burlap Sack Chic!

The Olsens hit a Lucky Magazine party turning their back on fashion. They are so anti-fashion that they will only wear burlap sacks. And they don't even think about combing their hair! This is such a waste of money. Somebody get me their accountant on the phone ASAP! If they aren't going to spend their money wisely, I totally will.

On a nice note, MK looks a lot better. Ash however needs to look into some Nice'n Easy Root Touch-Up!

It's a Kfed Friday Y'all!

Today I'm all about Kevin Federline and it's totally grossing me out. It's barely afternoon and I've already mentioned him too much. Unless he gets hit by a trailer driven by an alligator, I'll stop it! Bad Michael!

KFed and Brit Brit hit the town to see a real-live Broadway show! They went to see Sweet Charity. Brit Brit didn't look happy. Probably because Kfed totally snored through the whole show and put his feet up on the chairs. He's such a hillbilly that he probably talked back to the actors.

Brit Brit is morphing into Wynonna Judd. That coat is all sorts of fug.

Kfed is GQ's Man of the House

In GQ's Men of the Year issue they named Kevin Federline Man of the House. Whatever that means. Ewww, that totally is their bedroom isn't it? She thinks it's like "french" and "elegant."

Why the fuck do these magazines keep putting him in it? They really want him to be famous when the public asks them to stop! Unless, a sex video gets released. That's the only time I want to see him!

[GQ]

Jesse Metcalfe Wants You to Die!

Jesse Metcalfe tries painfully to hold in a "cum fart" which he got earlier from getting banged by that guy in the red. OMG that guy in the red is so creepy!



"Look ma, a real fag! We don't see these in South Dakota!"







[Lime-Light]

Fishsticks with Brown Sauce!

Fishsticks Paltrow sported a newly auburn hair color in London while filming The Good Night which her brother is directing. Actually, it might be a wig. Since she's a germaphobe and shit, wouldn't she be afraid of hair dye? Aren't chemicals like wrong to germaphobes?

She's totally trying to remember how to drive a car. Stupid bitch!





[Lime-Light]

HoHan Gets Punk'D!

This has been all over the internet, but for those of you that haven't read the saga of HoHan getting served by this dude named Jason Lewis - it's a must read! Basically this random guy named Jason Lewis calls HoHan at her NYC hotel and leaves a message to meet her in the bar for drinks. HoHan calls him back at 3am assuming he's the Jason Lewis from Sex and the City. A week of text-messaging goes on ending in a huge and memorable finale at Bungalow 8!

You must read it!

People Will Say We're in Love!

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston showed their love for each other when hooking up with Courtney Cox and some random dude in an alley. What do you think the story behind this is? Do you hug your drug dealer? Those crazy kids look happy though!

What a Feeling!

Alex Owens aka Jennifer Beals gave birth to a baby girl!

Her spokeswhore said: "The family is very happy and Jennifer and the baby are doing great."

But, aren't they always?

[People]

Kanye West is Trying to Love the Fags!

Kanye West isn't quite comfortable with the gayness in the world. Although, he's trying to deal with his homophobia. He told King Magazine:

"I'm still trying to get over my own homophobia."

"I still wouldn't feel comfortable at a gay bar. I wouldn't go to a gay parade. I don't know if I'm in favor of gay marriage or not."

You know I would normally knock the shit out of him. But at least he's being honest and there's nothing wrong with that. He's a homophobe trying not to be. But, let's keep it real. You know he partakes in a little DL action here and there.

What self-respecting homophobe is gonna walk around looking like a gay angel?


[Lowdown]

Whatever It Is..It's a Hair Don't!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Woody Harrelson Quote of the Day!

"I never work stoned. I try never to appear publicly stoned, although sometimes you get caught off guard. "

"I had this problem before as a teenager, before I'd even had my first smoke. I used to meet parents of girls I was dating and they wouldn't like me because they thought I was high. I didn't even try pot until I was 21."

"I have always had this laid-back personality and a wacky way of presenting myself."

You Know This is Grossing Her Out!

In the first picture Nicole Richie taking a big bite out of a burrito and in the last, she's totally pulling pieces of it out of her mouth. She's disgusted!









[JJB]

Victoria Gotti Will Kill an Ant!

Ant is some fat, gay comedian that throws bitchy commentary at the contestants of But Can They Sing? Carmine Gotti's recent performance was absolutely horrendous. So when asked what he thought of his performance, Ant said: "Words can't describe how I feel about that performance, but sounds can. You sounded like a cat caught in a muffler."

This threw Victoria in a mega-fit and she stormed from the set and demanded that Ant's comment be removed from the broadcast of the show. When asked why she was acting like this, Victoria said she was just being protective of her son. And of course Ant butted in: 'But this isn't a high school play.' "

Sending Victoria over the edge!

Expect Ant's head to be floating in The Los Angeles river any day now.

[Page Six]

Kimbo to get married this weekend!

Kimberly Stewart probably knows how ugly she is so she's wasting no time to get hitched to Laguna Beach star: Talan Torriero. Kim, 26 is making plans to marry the 19-year-old Talan this weekend in Las Vegas. Both are rushing to get the paperwork ready to make it him.

Talan's brother is not very pleased and has been in tears since hearing the news that her son is going to marry an actual horse!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

A sequel to the Michael Keaton film White Noise is currently in the works. The follow-up will be called White Noise 2: The Light. In the sequel, written by Matt Venne, a man's family is murdered and he is brought back from the brink of death. The man realizes he has changed and can now identify those among the living who are about to die. When he tries to save people from their fate, he discovers there is a price to paid for interfering with the natural order of life and death. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Adrien Brody and Penelope Cruz will star in Manolete about a famous matador named Manuel Rodriguez Sanchez. Manolete is set in 1940s Spain and tells the story of matador Sanchez's infatuation with Sino, which continued until his death in the bullring in 1947 at 30. Adrien Brody will travel to Spain in January to begin training with shooting to begin in March. [Variety]

The 8th season of The Bachelor is set to premiere in January on ABC. The newest bachelor is 33-year-old ER doctor Travis Stork. For the first time, the show will shoot outside of the United States in Paris, France. [Coming Soon]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Carolyn Kepcher from The Apprentice

Birthday Sluts

Owen Wilson (37)
Fabolous (26)
Chloe Sevigny (31)
Peta Wilson (35)
Duncan Sheik (36)
Daphne Rubin-Vega (36)
Elizabeth Perkins (45)
Kim Wilde (45)
Delroy Lindo (53)
Linda Evans (63)

Being 15 Sucks!

Remember that cute kid from Jerry Maguire? Johnathan Lipnicki?



15 hasn't been good to him. It's made him cock-eyed!



[Thanks to Liz and Karen]

Someone Call Peta Now!

Why the fuck hasn't Peta been on Parasite Hilton's ass? You know Baby Luv? Well, it seems that he's a restricted species to have as a pet in the State of California. Officials are sending Parasite a warning that she must turn the animal over to a sanctuary. Baby Luv is an exotic kinkajou.

A spokesperson for the Department of Fish and Game said: "We'll send them a letter just to let them know we're aware they have a restricted species."

Peta also released a statement: "It seems she thinks animals are as disposable as her friends and fiancees."

Why doesn't Peta throw cream pies at her ass?! They should totally stake her out and throw shit at her. Throwing shit at Parasite must be so much fun!

[People]

Nicole Richie Does Not Have An Eating Disorder!

And she wants you to know that! It's a good thing she has that woman there to hold down those pages for her while she signs. God knows her arms don't have the strength for that!

He's Dark-Sided, But...

I know I'm totally sick, but I think the dude that killed his girlfriend's parents is totally cute. I mean he's evil and everything, but cute. I couldn't hit it, because doing it with murderers is like wrong. Isn't it?

If you're not aware of this story, read the news.

The Curly Hair Pill?

Scientists say they have figured out the difference between curly hair and straight hair. Um..maybe one curls and the other doesn't? They believe that this information will lead them to create a pill that will be able to make straight hair, curly and vice-versa.

A biologist at L'Oreal said: "A curly follicle makes curly hair." "This is a breakthrough. For a very long time people did not understand how hair got curly."

How is this a fucking breakthrough? They didn't know that?

"It is now possible to use biological methods to make curly hair straight and vice versa,"

Expect the side-effects to be: severe diarrhea, itchy genitals, watery eyes and weight-gain. Do you think it will make my pubes straight too?

[Ananova] [Thanks to Markus]

Kate Moss & Coke: Reunited And It Feels So good!

[Lime-Light]

Where's SPF?

Brit Brit Spears and her crew were in NYC today. For what? I don't know. But they did a little shopping. But, where's SPF? Don't tell me she left him with Kfed. Because if she did, SPF is going to be smoking a joint at LAX club tonight.

Brit still looks fug.

[I was contacted to remove these images, but click on the link below to see them all]

[JJB]

Naomi Campbell Quote of the Day!

"I put up a defence because I don't want to show my vulnerability. I put up this 'I'd rather be a bitch' character."

Sluts Love Gucci

Gucci showed their collection and the bitches came out. HoHan showed some new implants.



Adrien Brody is so fucking hot. I know you guys think he looks like a greyhound, which he does - But still!





3 Dudes: Josh Duhamel, Fergie & Serena



Charlize & Toy - Jessica caught in the headlights!

[Gabsmash]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: The celeb behind the smile is...




Peter Sarsgaard! Congrats to eesh for being the 1st to get it right!

Jessica Alba Likes Blood

It's for a new movie... Show us your tits! She hates when we say that!

[Hollywood Tuna]

Want to Fuck a Real World Star?!

Someone posted this on Craigslist in Los Angeles:

Former Reality Actress is looking for 30 guys for Porn. $100 pay - w4m

Beautiful reality actress from MTV Real World is doing her first independent porn. We are searching for 30 very good looking guys to be in video shoot. Must be very good looking, be in great shape, and have an extra large penis.
All guys that will be featured in the film will be in masks (think phantom of the opera eye masks), so strong jaw line, and pretty eyes are a must

Casting this Monday from 10pm-1am in Hollywood, shooting next weekend in

My guesses are Trishelle or Tonya! But let's hope it's Irene from Real World Seattle!

Dennis Rodman's Not So Impressive Package

Yuck!


Click here to see it! (NSFW)





No wonder Carmen left his ass so fast!

[A Socialite's Life]

Denzel Washington's Secret Love Child?

Denzel Washington has been married for over 22 years, but gossips are saying that he has recently cheated on her ass! And to make matters worse, his mistress got knocked up and had the baby! His mistress is said to be one of his co-stars: Sanaa Lathan. The two starred in the 2003 flick Out of Time.

Apparently the two have been having a long-time affair with each other. Apparently, it's been a hush-hush secret all through Hollywood.

This is some scandalous shit! I thought Denzel could do no wrong!

[Ashley's Page] [Thanks to Lysette]

Mimi is a BBW

Mimi launched her Ultra Platinum Edition of The Emancipation of Mimi. She showed that she was large and in charge. My mom probably thinks she's obese.

What's even more fucked up the fact that there is a Deluxe Limited Edition of the Ultra Platinum Edition of The Emancipation of Mimi.

That hooker is fucking nuts!





[Hollywood Rag]

Alanis Morissette Looks Old...

And she's only 31!

The $100,000 Pillow Fight!

Here's some pics of the damaged caused by Parasite Hilton's X, Nachos after a fucking pillow fight he had with his friends. The pillow fight caused the sprinkler system to be set off causing serious damage to several rooms at The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.

Don't worry Baby Luv was fine.







[The National Enquirer]

Finally a Match Made in Krispy Kreme Heaven!

I pray to God this is true! But Kiki Dunst and Leonardo DiCaprio may be dating. Leonardo just broke-up with Gisele and Kiki ended things with Jake. So the two are on the market. And finally their saggy parts can make love in the sun!

They were spotted at an L.A. nightclub getting all cuddly and shit.

A source said: "You could feel the chemistry between the two. It looked hard for them to take their eyes off one another"

Kiki and Leo first met on the set of Spider-Man when Tobey introduced the two. I hope this one works. They couldn't be a more perfect pair!

They are totally going to try to out-annoy each other though.

[999 Today]

The Golden Child

The Golden Child and his manservant boarded a private plane yesterday. The Golden Child's manservant needs a bath!



[JJB]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Nicole Ritchie realizes too late that she indeed fucked DJ AM's brains out. - Pandemonium

Brit Brit's Pregnancy Future

Brit Brit Spears frequently visits a medium to show some light on her chaotic life. On a recent visit, the psychic told her that she was going to get knocked up again next year. Apparently Brit Brit is thrilled by the news and telling all her friends that she's so happy to be a mom again. The slut just had SPF a few months ago. The medium told her that her new pregnancy will happen within the next six-months.

Well, it does follow the white-trash pattern. When your marriage is falling apart, have another baby! Me thinks she'll have 6 or 7 of those by the time she's 30.

P.S. - I thought I'd post an old pic of her so we can remember her in her heyday.

[Female First]

Scratch and Sniff

Madge channeled Michael Jackson as she performed for a packed crowd at Koko in London. I'm sure what kind of move it is, but she's doing it. And I think Michael Jackson actually went for it and didn't stick his hand under his pants. So, I guess it would be more accurate to say she's channeling Al Bundy.





[PopSugar]

Classy Ad of the Day

[Gawker]

Pour Some Sugar on Me!

Pamela Anderson and Sugar-Ray singer, Mark McGrath are apparently an item. The two were holed up in Pam's Malibu mansion all weekend only leaving to eat. Mark is just in the chain of many men that have been through Pam. Stephen Dorff, Tommy Lee, Scott Baio, Markus Schenkenberg, Kelly Slater, Kid Rock and probably a hundred more.

But friends of Pam say that this shit isn't gonna last long. Every since Tommy, Pammy likes them packing. And Mark isn't down like that.

[Page Six]

Someone Please Marry My Ugly Daughter!

If a hatchet-face like Kimberly Stewart can find eternal love, we all can! Well, I didn't even know these idiots were dating, but they are engaged! And the lucky man is Laguna Beach star Talan Torreiro.

A friend of Talan's said: "He told me he really likes her and they're having a good time."

Yeah, so why not marry the dog..right?

A spokeswhore for Talan confirmed the engagement.

When Talan's album gets released, expect an immediate break-up. I can't wait to see the pictures of Kimbo feeling Spider Club in tears.

[People]

I Hope This Shit is Good!

Plot: Three backpackers head to a Slovakian city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them.

Stars: A bunch of no-names
Directed By: Eli Roth

Due: January 13, 2006

Watch Trailer

The Dlisted Report

A sequel to Hustle & Flow is currently in the works. Star, Terrence Howard said that filming will begin at the end of next year. He said that all the characters from the first film will return and the story will continue where it left off. [MTV]

Jon Heder and Will Ferrell have joined the cast of Blades of Glory. The film revolves around a pair of world-class men's figure skaters who are banned from the sport after their disgraceful brawl during the Winter Games in Salt Lake City. After three years of toiling in obscurity, they attempt to put aside their feud and exploit a loophole in the terms of their suspension, partnering to compete in the only category open to them -- pairs figure skating. Will Arnett and Amy Poehler will also star. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Woman in White, Andrew Lloyd Webber's latest opens on Broadway tonight. The cast includes Maria Friedman and Michael Ball. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Finally, the poor souls who suffer from Blurry Genitalia Disease decide they can't take it anymore, and run amongst us like the freaks that they are. Their parents, suffering from Blurry Facial Disease, appear on CNN to denounce their actions anonymously. - The Besty

Hot Slut of the Day!

Don Knotts

Birthday Sluts

RuPaul (45)
Leslie Bibb (31)
Daisy Fuentes (39)
Sophie Marceau (39)
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (47)
Roland Joffe (60)
Lorne Michaels (61)
Danny DeVito (61)
Martin Scorsese (63)

Nicole Kidman Engaged?

Reports are that Nicole Kidman may be engaged to her beau, Keith Urban. The two have been secretly dating since July and Nicole hasn't admitted it. The two were spotted yesterday with Nicky wearing a ring on her engagement finger. Nicole has also been a constant fixture on Keith's current tour. He's like some country star or something.

Keith's spokeswhore said: "Right now it's just a rumor. When and if there's a statement we'll make that public."

She's taller than him. I didn't know. I thought she finally landed a dude that was taller than her. He's totally grabbing her arm like he owns her ass!

Let's hope that's not an engagement ring. It's kind of small.

[People]

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

The Photoshop Awards: Madge

Jennifer Hudson IS Effie White

American Idol 3 Contestant: Jennifer Hudson, has landed the pivotal role of Effie White in the big-screen adaptation of Dreamgirls. Fantasia Barrino was tipped as the front-runner for the role, but Jennifer has won out.

Jennifer said: "Who better to play Jennifer Holliday's role than Jennifer Hudson? We even both have the same name! And besides, I can actually sing those songs. It'll save a lot of people a lot of trouble!"

Jennifer joins Beyonce, Anika Noni Rose, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover and Jamie Foxx in the flick. Shooting begin this January.

Yeah, they've already fucked this one up. Expect a turkey!

[Broadway.Com]

Talan is a Starfucker!

I don't watch Laguna Beach, but I don't need to in order to see this bitch Talan everywhere! From HoHan to Parasite to Kimbo, he seems to be on the "IN" with all the major sluts of Hollyweird. Just from this kiss alone, he's received some kind of jungle disease from Kimbo. Possibly a rare ugly gene.

Talan is a walking STD if you ask me.

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: The celeb behind the smile is..



Natasha Richardson! Congrats to Caron for being the first to guess right!

My Mom Thinks Carrie Underwood is Fat!

Last night I was talking on the phone with my mother and she was watching the CMAs. Here's how the conversation went:

MK: "What are you watching"

Mom: "Some country awards. You know that American Idol girl, that blonde, white girl?"

MK: "Carrie Underwood?"

Mom: "I don't know her name. But she looks chunky."

MK: "What is she wearing?"

Mom: "Some red dress, but it's embarrassing because she has a big pouch. Her belly is big. She's such a pretty girl. She should suck in."

MK: "I'm not watching it right now."

So, when I looked at the pictures this morning I thought I was going to see a fatty-bo-batty and instead I see the opposite! My mom is nuts and no she isn't Nicole Richie!

Oprah Regrets Starving Herself!

This one of the hottest Oprah moments! Back in 1988 Oprah wheeled 67lbs of fat onstage to represent the weight she lost to get into her skinny jeans! Oprah now regrets this, because apparently she starved herself to get into those jeans!

She said: "I had literally starved myself for four months, not a morsel of food,— to get into that pair of size 10 Calvin Klein jeans."

"Two hours after that show, I started eating to celebrate, of course, within two days those jeans no longer fit!"

I must say, that's the hottest she's fucking looked. From the hair, to the jeans, to those boots, and the belt - it's all working for me!

[Yahoo News]

Serena Adjusts Her Jock-Strap

I wish the photographer could've gotten the next shot which is probably her smelling it.





She's totally got a bubble butt! She's a top's dream!



[Oh No They Didn't]

Chestica is Going to Kill Someone!

Chestica Simpson text messages on her sidekick while waiting for a light to turn. This bitch should not be doing two things at once! She is going to kill someone! She's a selfish-bitch! I'm even surprised that she can work the thing.







[Lime-Light]

Maybe a Retarded Rabbit!

Sharon Osbourne has opened her mouth again and this time she's not blasting anyone, but she's grossing us out. She's decided to talk openly about her sex life. Something that honestly shouldn't exist.

She said: "Since I started talking to other couples about sex as I got older, I realized that Ozzy is very highly sexed compared with a lot of them."

"He's like a fucking rabbit, honestly. We have sex every night we're together. Every night."

"Sometimes I have to tell him I am too tired, but Ozzy's never tired. I think I might have to make a formal complaint against him actually."

I always pictured sex with them like a snake digesting a mouse: slow, painful and disgusting.

Someone get that cunt a muzzle!

[Yahoo UK] [Thanks to Rich]

Pussy's on the Loose!

Parasite Hilton and Nachos have apparently called it quits after fucking for just over a month. In the past couple weeks the two have been creating havoc all over the West Coast. Parasite called it quits this past weekend in Vegas when Nachos forced the sprinkler system to be set off causing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage. This pissed Parasite off, because now the bitch feels she could never come back to The Hard Rock Hotel. Well, maybe since you left them with a major crab infestation you couldn't come back anyway.

A source close to Nachos said: "[Paris is] forever saying, 'Let's party hard like rock stars.' Every night has to be a party,"

The pair broke-up on November 13th. Parasite was probably fucking The Pittsburgh Steelers by November 14th. Expect her to be "in love" again on November 17th.

[The Bosh]

The Newest Toothy Tile Blind Vice!

Toothy Tile and Petunia Pickle-Pop really should start dating.

I mean, it would be a fake get-together, but how many real ones are left in this town? Like Jude Law and Sienna Miller are going to last. Like they got back together because they just feel so right for each other, in the end--current flicks to sell be damned!

So, Toothy and Petunia are pushing the upchuck-and-saliva-covered envelope like you would not believe. Or maybe you would?

Ladies first. Movie-stah Toothy--who's been playing with whether or not to come out the closet for so long now, readers think I'm just makin' this sitch up (I'm not)--recently did a chat show for his latest pic, Casablanca Cuckold. You'll never guess what a network worker bee caught him doing in the privacy of his dressing room before taping...

No, not fornicating (you dirty busybodies), just tonguing his b-f, that's all. And this little love licking spread through the studio faster than a pink-slip distribution list at ABC!

Causing far fewer but much more horrified mouths to gasp at an L.A. recording studio was Petunia's smelly wake. After barging into the classy operation with her screeching wheels, P2 headed straight for the bathroom, which had been oh so thoughtfully set up with scented candles and tasteful towels and such.

After 15 minutes of locking herself in the loo, Petunia emerged, leaving the bathroom looking like something out of Martha Stewart's nightmares. And guess what was left smack in the middle of the restroom--with one tiny towel placed in the middle?

It was a reeking, warm pile of human discard. Puke. All over the floor.

Jeez, whose wake is stinkier these days, drugged-out Pet's or duded-out Tooth's?

Toothy HAS to be Jakey G! And as for Petunia, I say HoHan.

[Ted Casablanca]

The Nail is in the Coffin!

Destiny's Child supposedly played their last performance as a group on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. Wow, what a way to go. However, they did perform their latest single Stand Up For Love, but they say it's their last performance together.

They said: "I think the most beautiful thing is that we're not parting because there were problems. We're parting because we're celebrating each others' growth."

I feel sorry for Michelle. This bitch is going to know what it feels like to be broke now. It's already showing. Shit, she can't even afford a proper wig!

[E! Online]

Love Is In the Air!

Anderson Cooper "came" on Ryan Seacrest subbing for Larry King to promote his show. You can feel the energy burning between them through the camera lens! They even talk about size, God they are such queens.

CooCrest is born!

See clip here!

[The Malcontent]

A Little Wentworth Miller For You

From GQ

[Hollywood Rag]

Bitch, Put on a Bra!

Madge Has Cellulite

Madge reportedly went in Harrod's in London and purchased a an anti-cellulite machine. She dropped almost $5k on The Power Pilate Machine which is used to bust cellulite from your ass!

A source said: "She came to Harrods in person and had a private viewing and ordered the Power Plate without even checking the price. She asked for the private meeting with sales staff because she was making a 'sensitive purchase.'"

Let's hope she uses it on her face.

[Ananova]

UK Cat Fight!

UK's finest piece of trash, Jordan never hides the fact that she despises Posh Beckham! But, she has decided to give her a compliment, but of course had to precede it with a put-down.

Jordan said: "I think she always looks the dog's buttocks. Not her face, but her body. I don't think she's pretty at all but she knows how to dress, that girl."

Jordan is also releasing a fitness video and says that she has managed to avoid getting stretch marks despite giving birth to two kids. Is there anything she can't do?

"I haven't got one stretch mark on my body. I believe even if you put cream on your body, if you are prone to them, you will get them.

"This time I was paranoid as they say you're bigger the second time around so after I had a bath or shower I smothered myself with oil but I still didn't get any.

"There are some young women who get these railway tracks across their belly and I feel so sorry for them as there is absolutely nothing they can do. If that happened to me I'd rather have a tummy tuck and hide them all away.

"I'd rather have a surgery scar than stretch marks."

Who the fuck is going to take body advice from this slut? She's probably had her tummy tucked up to her tits! She's still the hottest woman on the planet, though.

[Ananova]

Mini Mimi

Mimi has begged toymakers to create 300 toy dolls after her. She has even asked them to replicate the butterfly ring that she always wears.

The source said: "There'll only be 3-0-0 of them and while they're supposed to be for kids, they're likely to become instant collectors' items"

Nervous Breakdown not included.

[Sky News]

I'm All About This Shit!

Memoirs of a Geisha

Plot: Based on the internationally acclaimed novel by Arthur Golden, "Memoirs of a Geisha" is a sweeping romantic epic set in a mysterious and exotic world that still casts a potent spell today. The story begins in the years before WWII when a penniless Japanese child is torn from her family to work as a maid in a geisha house. Despite a treacherous rival who nearly breaks her spirit, the girl blossoms into the legendary geisha Sayuri. Beautiful and accomplished, Sayuri captivates the most powerful men of her day, but is haunted by her secret love for the one man who is out of her reach ...

Stars: Zhang Ziyi, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Ken Watanabe, Randall Duk Kim, Elizabeth Sung & Mako
Directed By: Rob Marshall

Due: December 9, 2005

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" Chapter 79 - J.Go

Hot Slut of the Day!

Frosta from She-Ra

Birthday Sluts

Missie Pyle (33)
Maggie Gyllenhaal (28)
Oksana Baiul (28)
Martha Plimpton (35)
Lisa Bonet (38)
Jonas Akerlund (39)
Diana Krall (41)
Marg Helgenberger (47)
Donna McKechnie (65)

Margaret Perrin wears Make-Up!

Margaret Perrin (who apparently has been calling herself Marguerite to sound fancier) put some make-up on and took a picture with the God Warrior bobble-head currently up for auction on Ebay! It's up to $400!?

Somebody please buy this for me and I'll be yours forever. Well, at least until the end of December.

This is sooo dark-sided!

Bid on it!

Keira Knightley is Dorothy from Oz!

Click here to see the rest, there are tons!

[Keira Picture]

Sofia Vergara and Her Enormous Jugs!

DAYUM! Actress Sofia Vergara may not be that well known, but her tits don't act like it! Those things even make ME howl at the moon! She states those shits are natural and they look like it.





[Hollywood Tuna]

KFed is a Stupid Ass!

Kevin Federline was at a club without Brit Brit (surprise, surprise) when he fell off of a podium while shaking his nasties. Witnesses say that Kevin was on top of the podium at Spider in L.A. when he started really getting into it and jiggling his thing when he lost his balance and fell on his ass! His arm got caught underneath and it was fractured. The fuck-up has since been wearing a bandage on his hand.





[EntertainmentWise]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: The celeb behind these lips is..



Jennie Garth! Congrats to Eat My Snatch for getting it right!

Katie Holmes Miscarry?!

I just got several e-mails that Katie Holmes has miscarried in Los Angeles! Has anybody heard anything?

UPDATE - I still can't find anything on this. One of the people that e-mailed me said that she's at an L.A. area hospital right now! But this could be just a rumor! And she's totally removing the pillow as we type!

Naomi Campbell Has HUGE Hands!

[Lime-Light]

Vote for Dlisted!

Popdirt is running a hot poll today on your favorite Celebrity Gossip Blogs. Vote for my ass and I promise I'll make Diet Coke available at lunch time and I'll totally work on getting us casual Fridays!

Actually vote for whoever your ass wants!

Vote for Dlisted!

[Thanks to Annie]

Brangelina Go Grocery Shopping!

The Gothic Queen herself: Angelina and her girlfriend Brad went to a local grocery store in Malibu for some food. Brad did all the work while Angie stood back and relished in her sweet victory! Maddox just chilled out making sure that his precious feets never touched the fucking ground!









[JJB]

Dakota is the New Angelina!

Jennifer Aniston better watch her back. Dakota's after her man!

The Veil is a Nice Touch!

Finally Kelly Osbourne listened to us and hid her disgusting face from the public as she celebrated her 21st Birthday in Las Vegas. Kelly also ate that entire cake in one sitting after the party and popped her corset open! The party had a "lingerie theme" so Parasite Hilton showed up of course. I'm surprised at how much clothes she showed up in. She has more on than she usually wears! Nachos continued to ignore her.









[Lime-Light]

You Don't Say?!

Mike Tyson doesn't understand why women date him. And not because he's a wife-beater, but because he's a dwarf!

He said: "I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and said to myself, 'You're a dwarf.' I measured myself as five feet 10 inches. "When I think about the women I have slept with, I think to myself, 'These women must go out with anybody if they have got money, because I wouldn't go out with me.

"I'm a fucking dwarf! Everyone in my family is 6 feet. What happened to me?

"I'm a tree stump. A fire hydrant. People piss on fire hydrants, man!"

This bitch only figured out that women date him only for his money? They ain't dating him to be treated right and they ain't dating him for the conversation. And the dick..shit I don't even want to think about that. But since we're on topic, I'm thinking it's small like his voice. Let's ask Robin.

[Contact Music]

Toothy Tile and "Friend" Go to a Movie!

Toothy Tile and a gay-looking friend stepped out for a beautiful, romantic evening together. The friend makes sure to stay away from the cameras. But click on the pic, that friend is so gay! And needs a facial. Which I'm sure he got one later in the evening!





[Lime-Light]

Diana Ross Could Be Angie Jolie's New Mom!

Crazy Ross and Jon Voight showed up hand in hand at The Lady Sings the Blues Tribute. The two were introduced by Berry Gordy and have apparently been inseparable!

A source said: "Diana has been to hell and back over her booze problems and DUI (drink-driving) arrest, and he (Gordy) kept telling her that since she beat her demons and emerged from the depths of depression, all she needed now was love." "And I'll be damned if he didn't go out and find the perfect man for her himself."

Wouldn't this be so fucking hot if they got married and she became Angie's step-mother! They could totally practice voodoo together! Diana has the hair for it!

P.S. - I don't even want to think about these two fucking. But I think that Diana likes to snow ball!

[Ireland Online]

Fishsticks is a FREAK!

Fishsticks Paltrow has always been clean-obsessed but sources say she's going a little too far. First of all, Fishsticks won't let anybody touch Apple unless they scrub their hands with anti-bacterial soap.

She also doesn't use any public restrooms. When she checks into a hotel, the first thing she does is scrub down the bathroom herself in order to rid it of germs. She also brings her own hairbrush to her hairdresser.

This bitch is a bubble baby! I can totally picture Fishsticks getting up in the middle of the night and going into Apple's room to make sure that there's no dust underneath any of her furniture. And if there is, Apple will get the beating of a lifetime! I can hear her now "No more wire hangers!"

Fishsticks is soo Mommie Dearest.

[Female First]

Baby Luv Lives!

Here are pictures of our newest hero: Baby Luv! Baby is now known for doing to Parasite what we all want to do to her ass (read the story a few posts below)!

NO Baby Luv, go for the fucking eyes...not the weave! She can't feel that!



"I will kill this mofo bitch when she sleeps!" - Baby Luv

Mary J. Blige Quote of the Day!

At the Vibe Awards to the Editor-In-Chief:

"I have to tell you this. The photo of me on the cover is disgusting. I can't believe you would put a photo like that on your cover."

Halle Berry for Versace

Halle Berry will be the newest face of Versace following in the steps of Demi Moore and Madonna. Mario Testino shot the new pics.

A source said: "The shoot was beautiful portraits, slightly messy hair and a wind machine — very glamorous,"

Duh, of course they are going to say that. When is fucking Allegra Versace going to be in this shit?! I need to see her skin and bones soon! Especiall in a bikini! That would be more than hot.

[Page Six]

When is She Going to Pop?!

Ben and Jennifer went out for coffee yesterday. Jennifer's due date was a few days ago and she still hasn't popped! At least Ben is cleaning up for the arrival their new arrival. He actually looks semi-hot. I'm still pushing La Lopez on them for a baby name!







[JJB]

Monkeys Hate Parasite!

That stupid bitch: Parasite Hilton recently purchased a pet monkey she named Baby Luv. Parasite, being the idiot she is, brought Baby Luv with her to a shopping spree at Agent Provocateur in Las Vegas. When she entered the shop with Baby Luv on her shoulder, the fucking monkey freaked out and started biting and clawing at her face! OMG, what what wouldn't I give to see this shit?!

Parasite got the monkey in control and chained him to a cabinet while she dropped $4k on lingerie and a whip. Hmm...crazy monkey? Only Angelina's voodoo powers can be explained for this! Either that or monkeys just hate sluts!

Later that evening, Parasite's other monkey friend: Nachos, set fire to his room at The Hard Rock Hotel. The fire caused the sprinkler system to go off and damaged a dozen rooms. Nachos agreed to put $25k worth of damages on his credit card, but sources say that the damage is worth more like $100k.

[Page Six]

Grab Your Red Lipstick! There's a Party to Crash!

Xtina Aguilera will marry her longtime beau, Jordan Bratman this weekend. Location is being kept hush hush, but sources say it's in the Los Angeles area. Xtina will wear Christian Lacroix and nipple rings by Cartier.

Unfortunately, Madge and Brit Brit will not be bridesmaids.

[Page Six]

Jennifer Aniston is Man of the Year!

GQ has named Jennifer Aniston its Man of the Year. No fucking joke! They gave her this honor because they said she showed a lot of poise, grace and good humor during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year. And because she has a dick. Ok, they didn't say that.

Angelina is so fucking mad. She wanted to be Man of the Year!

Seriously though...is that a compliment? They were kind enough to change it to Woman of the Year for her. Other Men of the Year include Vince Vaughn and 50 Cent.

[WTOV] [Big ups to Jeff]

Brooke Burns injured!

Actress and ex-girlfriend of Bruce Willis: Brooke Burns, was injured from hitting her head on her backyard pool yesterday. Brooke broke a neck bone and required surgery. She has been in the hospital since Friday and will be released today.

Her spokeswhore said: "There's no permanent damage," "She will begin work as scheduled in January."

Brooke will start shooting the WB show Pepper Dennis with Rebecca Romjin.

Injured her neck?! How the fuck do they expert her to do her BJ duties as a Hollywood bimbo?!

[Yahoo News]

The Dlisted Report

Carmen Electra, Simon Rex and Leslie Nielsen have signed on to Scary Movie 4. The fourth film will spoof superhero and horror movies. Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Dr. Phil and Shaq also star. Filming begins shortly. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Robert De Niro will play a mafia hit man in The Winter of Frankie Machine based on the novel. De Niro would play a Mafia hit man who has given up the game to become the proprietor of a bait shop. When he finds out that he's been targeted for a hit, he gets back in the business. The novel has not been released yet, but will hit stores next year. [Variety]

Mandy Moore will play Diane Keaton's daughter in Because I Said So. The film will star Keaton as a meddling mother who, in order to prevent her youngest daughter (Moore) from following in her footsteps, attempts to set her up with the right man. Shooting on the film begins later this month. [Variety]

Theater star Raul Esparza will play the lead role of Bobby in the Cincinnati-bound revival of Stephen Sondheim's Company. John Doyle will direct a company that just like his Sweeney Todd will all play their own instruments. Performances begin in March. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Knowing that George Bush does not care about black people, Aretha is loathe to try the "trust fall". - Stacy

[Thanks to Jason]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Birthday Sluts

Beverly D'Angelo (54)
Sean Murray (28)
Virginie Ledoyen (29)
Sydney Tamiia Poitier (32)
Ol' Dirty Bastard (37)
Rachel True (39)
Judy Gold (43)
Kevin Eubanks (48)
Randy Savage (53)
Roberto Cavalli (65)
Sam Waterston (65)
Petula Clark (73)

Detouching!

Worth1000 had a detouching contest to take celebrity pictures and completely make them look like hags! I think most of these pictures are actually the fucking truth!



Kiki Dunst - You know her teefs are that yellow!



Madge - ACK!



[click on images to enlarge]

Jennifer Aniston & Sandra Bullock



Toothy Tile & Chestica



Tom Cruise & Richie



Scarlett & Trump

[Worth 1000]

Chocolate Champagne

Posh & Becks went out to dinner last night looking like hell. Her breasts are so fucking pointy and she's totally not wearing a bra. With that much silicone, she shouldn't have to! The back of her sweaters says "Chocolate Champagne...something" I can't make out the bottom. She's still perfect, but in an Alien sort of way. She makes it so hard for me to keep the love for her!

Becks is just way too frosted.

The Bai Ling Show!

I know that there are other celebrities in VH1's But Can They Sing?, but the only one that matters is the hot mess of Bai Ling. She was in top form last night. Thank God we have given her another chance to go on! It was duet night on yesterday's show. And Bai proved that she gives all in anything she does and it proved to be a shipwreck! Bai and Carmine made beautiful music to Summer Nights.

Bai Ling & Carmine Gotti "Summer Nights"





One of the gross-out moments came when Antonio Sabata Jr. and Morgan Fairchild shared a kiss. I felt gross for her, not him! She's a fucking lady!

Antonio Sabata Jr. & Morgan Fairchild "I Had the Time of My Life"





I don't like Carmine Gotti...he's so in the closet. But his version of Usher's You Remind Me fucking killed my eardrums!

Carmine Gotti "You Remind Me"



All I can say about Bai Ling is this bitch needs a record deal ASAP! She gave the fucking performance of a lifetime last night! She was the hottest thing I've ever in my life. Well, almost hotter than the time I saw a tranny take a shit on stage. Please America, we must keep Bai in this competition!

Bai Ling "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"













Please go to Vh1 and VOTE FOR BAI NOW!

Margaret Perrin Has Always Been Without Teefs!

Here is a lovely picture of Margaret Perrin when she was younger. Bitch didn't even had teefs back then! I bet you it made her quite popular in High School. Was she a God Warrior back then? Gargoyles!

[Boadwee Blog] [Big ups to Jen]

How Could We Miss Their Anniversary?!

Yesterday was the 1-Year Anniversary of our favorite fag and his hag! Happy Anniversary to Star and Gay Al! Gay Al probably spent his anniversary face first into a pillow at a bath house while Star spent hers eating half a gallon of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey while watching Beaches.

I Thought He Dumped Her Ass!

Jake Gyllenhaal had lunch with Kiki and her saggy tits in Hollywood this past weekend. It must just be some casual shit, because Jake told Ellen Degeneres that he was single. He must be using her to beard him up when the rumors get to be too much. He HAS to be Toothy Tile.

Ewww, if her tits are that saggy..can you imagine how saggy her nani is? She has to wear some extra-tight panties to keep her business together!







[JJB]

That Dude is Cute!

Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillipe and their son Deacon spent the day in Central Park yesterday. You know they didn't speak a word to each other, only when Ryan needed $5 for a bottle of water. Deacon is hella cuteness!

Dpoll Results: Who is the Skankiest Celebrity Dude?

This wasn't much a competition! Kfed walked away with over 50% of your votes. You bitches got it right!

Thanks for voting, y'all!

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: The celeb behind this smile is:



Jamie Kennedy!

Congrats to Kristi for being the first to get it right!

This Bitch is All Sorts of Stupid!

Congratulations are in order to Tara Reid who actually lived to see her 30th Birthday this weekend! This bitch is so fucking stupid that she's posing with a "No Photos" t-shirt for a photo. Love the trucker cap though...she's so cutting edge!

And second of all, Tara don't pose with a chick that looks like that. It only makes the obvious even more obvious.





[JJB]

Angelina Goes Bond!

Angelina Jolie has officially been offered the female lead in Casino Royale. Angie has apparently read the script and loves it, but needs to consider it. Producers have offered her the role of Vesper Lynd, a Russian double-agent that screws Bond. But Angie wants writers to toughen her role up a bit. She wants to be more of a bad girl. Shooting begins this January with Daniel Craig suiting up as James Bond.

She's just pissed because she can't play James Bond. I bet you her and Bradley totally role play. He's Pussy Galore.

[Softpedia]

I Love Nipple Slips!

Well coming from Keira Knightley, it's not much. Mainly because her nipple probably covers 75% of her breast. But I still like seeing nipple! Maybe it's because I wasn't breast fed enough as a child. Because I love nipple. I wonder if Keira would breast feed me? We'd have to stuff her tits with milk first, but I don't like milk. We'll stuff her tits with Gin. Yeah I like that. Hah, radical!





[The Superficial]

RuPaul's Big Comeback!

No, unfortunately that's not RuPaul. It's fucking that heinous bitch: Kimora Lee Simmons! Ok we all know MOST Asians don't look good blonde and MOST Black people don't look good blonde either...so why does this bitch think she's the exception? And I would put money on it that chick still has a dick!

And to the whole "she has kids" argument...she has money, she bought them babies on the black market!





[Hollywood Rag]

Being Drunk is Better Than Being Old!

Kathleen Turner claims that she faked she was a drunk, so that her age wouldn't burden her in Hollywood. Kathleen who has rheumatoid arthritis knew that if American directors found out about her condition, they wouldn't hire her. So she pretended to be an alcoholic!

She said: "I was afraid I wouldn't get work."

"My hands were very crippled for a while, so I kept dropping glasses and things because I couldn't grip them. Some of the medications make you blow up and puffy, so the rumor was that I had a drinking problem."

"It was safer for me to let people think I was drinking than to tell them that I had this.

"They always hire drunks, all the time. But they wouldn't hire someone with a disease they didn't understand."

She's a motherfucking genius! This means that I finally get to be the alcoholic I've always wanted to be! So the next time a bouncer tries to kick me out of a club for dropping a table full of drinks..I'm telling him I have fucking rheumatoid arthritis!

[Ananova]

Jordan Has Come Back to Us!

God has blessed me with new pictures of our favorite piece of trash Jordan and her equally disgusting husband, Peter Andre. Some of you still don't know who this hot mess is. Jordan is basically a slut that got famous. She was a glamour model in the UK which means she posed in her undies. She met her husband Peter Andre on the set of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. They recently had one of the most tackiest weddings in history. Google her ass, you won't be disappointed!

Oh and I've totally seen that dress at Windsor Fashions. If you notice in this first pic, Peter is totally looking past her. And I think she's licking off some chocolate off his chin. Nevertheless, Jordan still looks the perfection! But, where's Harvey?




[click on images to enlarge]

The Photoshop Awards: Charlotte Lurch

If I was a judge on America's Next Top Piggy, I'd tell Charlotte Lurch that she gives the same look in every fucking picture. She has those same droopy, stoner eyes no matter what. Bitch open up your fucking eyes! Give that slut some Visine!






[click on images to enlarge]

Then Why are You Always Showing Us Your Ass?

Shakira confesses that she's just a sweet, shy girl and not the hussy she pretends to be on TV.

She said: "My videos represent the artist in me very well, but not the kind of woman I am.

"When they watch my videos, people might think that I'm very sexually aggressive person, but I am completely the opposite. I'm very shy of my body.

"The most I can show is my belly. I admire people who can do nudes for the love of art. I can't. And I wear enough to cover what my mother wishes I cover."

Why is it that everytime I see this chick perform, she's half-naked! Seriously, she looks like she's on her way to work at Scores. But bitch can shake her hips. Imagine the work she can do on a dick! Seriously, I like the girl...even though she's going through a no-make-up phase.

[Ananova]

This is Dark-Sided!!!!!

Jack Osbourne has no business taking his clothes off, not even his socks. He's on the opposite side of sexy. And me thinks he could've use an extra-small cross to cover his naughty bits.

Ok, I'd Hit It!

For a moment Jude Law was just plain gross. He looked tired and green, but I think he's getting his shit back together. He was photographed on his hotel balcony, looking hot and fucking tan. I'd hit it...only after dipping that shit in fucking Chlorox and Fabreezing his ass. And even then, I'd let him only stick the tip in!







[Lime-Light]

Katie Holmes is a Mail-Order Bride!

Katie Holmes is planning to quit acting altogether to focus on being a mother and homemaker to Tom's kids. Friends are worried, because Katie has quit a film project and is not taking any meetings.

A source said: "Katie has decided to give up acting altogether. She's been telling friends that she and Tom have decided it is best she stays at home and brings up their baby."

"Her decision is raising a lot of eyebrows in Hollywood. She is at the perfect age for so many screen roles and has completely closed the door on a promising career."

I think it's too late bitches. Poor Joey from Dawson's Creek is gone forever! I never thought Katie was the most ambitious of young actresses, but to completely turn your back on something that you've worked so hard on is just bananas!

This whole TomKat saga is totally turning into a 48 Hours Mystery!

[Monsters and Critics]

Kate Moss and Daughter in Barcelona

Kate Moss and her daughter Lila Grace landed in Barcelona where Kate is filming a commercial. Her daughter looks cute, can't really tell. But what I really want to know is...is that airport security? Dayum! They have fine airport security over there in Spain. Here, they are all fat and grouchy! Shit, I'd purposely put metal in my pockets if security looked like that shit!









[JJB]

Surprise, Surprise..Jacko's Face Actually Scares Someone!

Michael Jackson and clan were visiting a shopping mall in Dubai when Jacko popped into the restroom. Jacko popped into the ladies room to powder his nose. He started to powder his nose and apply some rouge when a woman came out of the stall and screamed at him! She then took several pictures of him on her cell phone and threatened to give them to the police. Jacko then screamed just like the woman did and his bodyguards immediately ushered him away from the situation.

Mall security were alerted to take the phone from the woman and erase all the photos.

Yeah, it must be freaky to catch the crazy one applying some Wet 'N' Wild to his cheeks, but that bitch got off easy! She could've caught him pleasing his pussy in the stall. Now that shit would've burned her eyes out! Actually, either way that woman is scarred for life!

[Female First]

Eat One of Snoop Dogg's Juicy Dogs!

Snoop Dogg hopes to cash in by hawking his own line of hot-dogs! The product is currently called Foot Long Snoop Doggs and will bear his picture on the packaging.

Foot long? I knew his shit was long, but I was thinking more like 10". Hey, but I'll take 12".

[Page Six]

Pot Calling Kettle!

We all know Chestica Simpson is one of the dumbest bitches around, but at a recent charity event she showed that she's even dumber than we thought! On a crowded red-carpet, Jessica was heard telling her mother loudly: "Mom, Ashlee is so stupid. She left the popcorn in the microwave and almost burned the house down."

First of all that is fucking hilarious that Chestica would just start talking about how Ashlee almost burned the house down while walking the red-carpet!

The picture on the left is from that night, can you imagine her secretly mouthing to her mother "That Ashlee bitch is stupid." I love it!

[Page Six]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

The children's charity had been asking people to donate cheap, second-hand clothes, but every now and then, the hard of hearing would send in cheap, second-hand Hos. - PSMike

The Dlisted Report

Wanda Sykes, Kevin Townley and Rainn Wilson have joined Ivan Reitman's Super Ex-Girlfriend. The comedy is currently shooting in New York and stars Uma Thurman, Eddie Izzard and Luke Wilson. The film centers on a man who learns that his girlfriend is a superhero and breaks up with her when she becomes too controlling and neurotic. She then uses her powers to torment and embarrass him. Wanda plays Luke's boss, Rainn his best friend and Kevin plays the younger Eddie Izzard. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Dougray Scott will star in the one-hour pilot of Heist for NBC directed by Doug Liman. The ensemble dramedy that chronicles over the course of a season a group of thieves' attempt to simultaneously rob three jewelry stores on Beverly Hills' famed Rodeo Drive. Seymour Cassel also stars. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The WB has given the go for a pilot version of Aquaman. The series is envisioned as a contemporary reinterpretation of the character who lives in the deep sea and enlists sharks and other oceanic creatures to help him in his crime-fighting endeavors. Alan Ritchson recently played the character on an episode of Smallville, but producers insist a new actor will be cast in the role. Shooting is set to begin next year in Florida. [Dark Horizons]

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart has been cancelled and will not get a second season. The first season will continue to air as scheduled with its live finale on December 21st. [Reality Blurred]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Siouxsie Sioux

Birthday Sluts

Josh Duhamel (33)
Obie Trice (28)
Travis Barker (30)
Nina Gordon (38)
Patrick Warburton (41)
D.B. Sweeney (41)
Laura San Giacomo (43)
Yanni (51)
Gale Edwards (51)
Condoleezza Rice (51)
Prince Charles (57)josh du

Own a Piece of Margaret!

You now can own a piece of our newest idol: Margaret Perrin. Some guy has created a talking, Marge Perrin bobble-head and is selling that shit on eBay! The head actually bobbles and here are the following quotes she spurts out:

• I don't want someone with tainted... anything in beliefs, doing anything with my family!
• Darksided!
• Their entire house is darksided too!
• Everything's un-Godly!
• Gargoyles!... Psychics!
• Get the hell out of my house- in Jesus' name I pray!
• GET OUT!
• I give it up to God I'm a GOD WARRIOR!
• She's not a CHRISTIAN!
• She was tampering in darksided stuff!
• This is tainted- I don't want it. Whatever it is, it's tainted!
• .I want nothing. I want my God and I want my family!
• I want NO Money!

He is also working on getting an autographed picture of Margaret to go with this auction. The bid is currently at $125.50 with 5 days to go. So if you want this shit, you're gonna have to pony up!

See Auction!

[Big ups to all who sent this to me!]

Angie's Curse on Aniston?

A leading voodoo expert believes that Angelina Jolie put a love curse on Jennifer Aniston to steal her man! A friend of Brad Pitt's confessed that he found a vial of grey-powder which he revealed was bat remnants.

Angelina has said she gave that vial to Brad to keep him safe from car accidents. But Dr. Snake, a leading voodoo expert says that the powder is used for something else.

"That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo 'mojo hand', or magical charm to me." "

One dark voodoo spell uses Bat's Heart Incense, which is burnt to break up a love affair or marriage."

That's it! Angie is a fucking witch! Bitch is probably like 200-years old. That's why her vagina is so hypnotic and that's why she makes it with her brother. She's like a witch-vampire! Where's fucking Buffy when you need her?

[Female First] [Big ups to Johnny]

Hot Slut of the Week: Margaret Perrin

Age: ?
Birthday: ?
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: November 11, 2005
Claim to Fame: Giving the performance of a lifetime on Fox's Trading Spouses!

Where is she now? Going to church and pursuing her own reality show on Fox.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She's given us two of the hottest catch-phrases of 2005: "Gargoyles" and "Dark-Sided." She is scarier than Satan, but somehow makes us all want to be her best friend!

Please Tell Me This Bitch Ain't Starting a Clothing Line!

Kfed hit Malibu in a customized t-shirts with his fucking initials on them. He probably got it done at the airbrush store in the mall, but wouldn't that be hot if he started his own clothing line. Sizes would begin at XXL. Don't put it past him!

Dakota Will Wish You Into the Cornfield!

Dakota Fanning left Fred Segal in Los Angeles and did not look happy. She was crying! She probably didn't get that pair of L.A.M.B jeans she wanted! Her mother better watch out! Because Dakota will totally use her connections to send her away. And by away...I mean Rocky Gulch!




[click on images to enlarge]

[Lime-Light]

My Stepmother is an Alien

Katie Holmes is becoming the perfect soccer mom. She spend the day watching her soon-to-be stepdaughter, Isabella playing soccer. Is that bitch with her that Jessica from Scientology? She's totally telling her that the soccer ball will give her alien baby healing powers.



See, Katie's falling for it!







Isabella is not a pretty girl!




[JJB]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Donna Rice

Birthday Sluts

Chris Noth (51)
Gerald Butler (36)
Steve Zahn (37)
Jimmy Kimmel (38)
Whoopi Godlberg (50)
Frances Conroy (52)
Tracy Scoggins (52)
Joe Mantegna (58)
Garry Marshall (71)