Dlisted: 11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Nicolette Sheridan Nipples Come Out and Play!



Yeah she's like eleventy, but still fucking hot as shit! I personally think she has some nice ta-ta's and has every right to show that shit off. Total boob job though.

Teri Snatcher eat your heart out!



[Hollywood Rag]

Wentworth Miller Without a Shaved Head!



Dayum! That shit is kinky and not in a good way! Keep on shaving that shit!

J.Lo does Pirrelli!

JLo was chosen as Pirelli's cover girl for their famous 2006 calendar. Bitch is trying to be sexy and shit. Some of it works for me, but then I remember what a fucking bitch she is!

These pictures would be hot if it was any other chick!

The calendar also includes Karen Elson, Kate Moss and many others!

Click here to see it!





Angelina Cheating on Brad?

Angelina Jolie's ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller claims that the two are still together and most likely will always be together. He also claims that the two are still sleeping together unbeknownst to Bradley Pitt. Several witness claim they overheard Jonny speaking to a friend at the U2 concert in Las Vegas about Angie.

He said: "Mr. Pitt has no idea who Angie really is,"

"We love each other deeply, and Mr. Pitt, I'm sure, doesn't know how much we love each other or how often!"

Jonny also said that he has plans to spend Christmas with Angie, Bradley and family in London.

"I don't think Brad's going to like it, but Angie and I have only become closer since our divorce."

Hmm...interesting..mostly likely not true, but still interesting. Jonny's career is in the shit-can and he's probably just trying to get some publicity. When does Angie have the fucking time?!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Xtina & Jordy to Get Hitched Today!



Xtina and her husband-to-be Jordan Bratman will marry today in Napa Valley, CA. That is a fucking hot car and bitch looks pissed. We give our sincerest congratulations to the happy couple and can't wait to be there when their divorce is final!

We're such pessimists!

Christmas Wedding for Vince & Jen?

Reports are that Vince Vaughn has proposed to girlfriend Jennifer Aniston after having a dream about it. He feels that because of his dream, Jennifer is now "the one". Jennifer has accepted according to Vince's mom.

She said: "Jen told me she had woken from her dream crying, but crying with joy."

"When Jen told Vince her story, she didn't know he had been waiting for the right moment to propose. He decided there would never be a better one."

The two are expected to marry this Christmas according to Vince's mother.

Jen's spokeswhore denies the claim.

You know she wants to beat Brangelina's asses to the alter!

[The National Enquirer]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Never bite the head that feeds you. - FMouie

[Thanks JM]

Hot Slut of the Day!



Jeanne Cooper

Birthday Sluts



Rocci DiSpirito (39)
Kerri Strug (28)
Savion Glover (32)
Jason Scott Lee (39)
Jodie Foster (43)
Meg Ryan (44)
Allison Janney (45)
Ann Curry (49)
Kathleen Quinlan (51)
Calvin Klein (63)
Ted Turner (67)
Larry King (72)

Friday, November 18, 2005

When Were They Hotter: Then or Now?

Chestica Gets Dumped By Her Publicist!



Brad Cafarelli used to represent Chestica Simpson. I say USED TO because the bitch quit! Brad was sick and tired of working with Chestica's pyscho father, Joe Simpson. Joe apparently made Brad's life a living hell with his constant demands. He was also becoming extremely exhausted with trying to make her marriage look like it was still going strong even though we all know it's as real as her tits.

I'm not even this slut's PR rep and even exhausted in trying to believe her piece of shit marriage isn't a total sham!

[Gawker]

Dancing with Herpes!



According to sources Tara Reid and her camp are trying desperately to get her on the second season of Dancing with the Stars. They are hard at work trying to redo her image and think her appearance on the reality show would help her out.

A source said: "Tara and her team are desperate to give her an image makeover. Her agent is aggressively trying to get Tara a spot on the second season of the show."

I take pity on her partner. Having Tara Reid's coochie held over your head during a lift must be the lowest day in a person's life.

[Gabsmash]

Fake!

The relationship not the ring. Although, I do feel sorry for that poor diamond. It is forced to be hugged up against those sweaty and skanky hands for at least 2 weeks. That poor diamond should free itself. Someone should do something.

"Fuck, she looks like the crypt keeper when I'm sober! Gotta get Tequila now!" - Talan





[JJB]

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE: The celeb behind the smile is...



Ginger Spice aka Geri Haliwell!

Congrats to me for being the 1st to get it right!

Burlap Sack Chic!

The Olsens hit a Lucky Magazine party turning their back on fashion. They are so anti-fashion that they will only wear burlap sacks. And they don't even think about combing their hair! This is such a waste of money. Somebody get me their accountant on the phone ASAP! If they aren't going to spend their money wisely, I totally will.

On a nice note, MK looks a lot better. Ash however needs to look into some Nice'n Easy Root Touch-Up!







It's a Kfed Friday Y'all!

Today I'm all about Kevin Federline and it's totally grossing me out. It's barely afternoon and I've already mentioned him too much. Unless he gets hit by a trailer driven by an alligator, I'll stop it! Bad Michael!

KFed and Brit Brit hit the town to see a real-live Broadway show! They went to see Sweet Charity. Brit Brit didn't look happy. Probably because Kfed totally snored through the whole show and put his feet up on the chairs. He's such a hillbilly that he probably talked back to the actors.

Brit Brit is morphing into Wynonna Judd. That coat is all sorts of fug.





Kfed is GQ's Man of the House



In GQ's Men of the Year issue they named Kevin Federline Man of the House. Whatever that means. Ewww, that totally is their bedroom isn't it? She thinks it's like "french" and "elegant."

Why the fuck do these magazines keep putting him in it? They really want him to be famous when the public asks them to stop! Unless, a sex video gets released. That's the only time I want to see him!

[GQ]

Jesse Metcalfe Wants You to Die!

Jesse Metcalfe tries painfully to hold in a "cum fart" which he got earlier from getting banged by that guy in the red. OMG that guy in the red is so creepy!



"Look ma, a real fag! We don't see these in South Dakota!"







[Lime-Light]

Fishsticks with Brown Sauce!

Fishsticks Paltrow sported a newly auburn hair color in London while filming The Good Night which her brother is directing. Actually, it might be a wig. Since she's a germaphobe and shit, wouldn't she be afraid of hair dye? Aren't chemicals like wrong to germaphobes?

She's totally trying to remember how to drive a car. Stupid bitch!





[Lime-Light]

HoHan Gets Punk'D!

This has been all over the internet, but for those of you that haven't read the saga of HoHan getting served by this dude named Jason Lewis - it's a must read! Basically this random guy named Jason Lewis calls HoHan at her NYC hotel and leaves a message to meet her in the bar for drinks. HoHan calls him back at 3am assuming he's the Jason Lewis from Sex and the City. A week of text-messaging goes on ending in a huge and memorable finale at Bungalow 8!

You must read it!

People Will Say We're in Love!

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston showed their love for each other when hooking up with Courtney Cox and some random dude in an alley. What do you think the story behind this is? Do you hug your drug dealer? Those crazy kids look happy though!






What a Feeling!



Alex Owens aka Jennifer Beals gave birth to a baby girl!

Her spokeswhore said: "The family is very happy and Jennifer and the baby are doing great."

But, aren't they always?

[People]

Kanye West is Trying to Love the Fags!



Kanye West isn't quite comfortable with the gayness in the world. Although, he's trying to deal with his homophobia. He told King Magazine:

"I'm still trying to get over my own homophobia."

"I still wouldn't feel comfortable at a gay bar. I wouldn't go to a gay parade. I don't know if I'm in favor of gay marriage or not."

You know I would normally knock the shit out of him. But at least he's being honest and there's nothing wrong with that. He's a homophobe trying not to be. But, let's keep it real. You know he partakes in a little DL action here and there.

What self-respecting homophobe is gonna walk around looking like a gay angel?


[Lowdown]

Whatever It Is..It's a Hair Don't!









[Oh No They Didn't]

Woody Harrelson Quote of the Day!



"I never work stoned. I try never to appear publicly stoned, although sometimes you get caught off guard. "

"I had this problem before as a teenager, before I'd even had my first smoke. I used to meet parents of girls I was dating and they wouldn't like me because they thought I was high. I didn't even try pot until I was 21."

"I have always had this laid-back personality and a wacky way of presenting myself."



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