Parasite, different pictures, same pose...

You are getting very sleepy....

[JJB]

When were they hotter: Then or Now?

Eye Candy

These pics of Matthew McConaughey are kind of old, but I never get tired looking at his shit. I say Goddamn! Brushing your teeth never looked so good and yeah I'd hit it!







[WWTDD] [Bigs ups to Kristin]

Which Leto is hotter?

Jared or his brother Shannon?

Parasite gets served!

Parasite Hilton was on her way to a party in Los Angeles on Thursday when police arrived at her Hollywood Hills home to serve her with a subponea.

Her PR bitch said: "All I know is she was summoned to be a witness on a case,"

The Police Department states she's a witness in a criminal investigation of a man that has possibly burglarized her home as well as others in the area.

What kind of witness is this bitch going to make? She probably banged the burglar before he robbed her ass! I hope she wears that bunny costume to court.

[E! Online]

Sharon Osbourne Quote of the Day!

"America and Americans have been very good to me and my family. The trouble is they do take themselves terribly seriously and can't laugh at themselves.".

I thought she's already done this!

Angelina Jolie has become painful laser procedures to remove her ex-husband's name from her arm. Angie has a tattoo of a Chinese dragon and the name Billy Bob tattooed on her arm. She's getting it removed so she can leave that relationship in the past.

Angie is said to be halfway through the procedure.

A source revealed recently that Angie is planning to have Bradley Pitt's Chinese birthday symbol of a bunny rabbit tattooed on her ass. But she said she will never make the same mistake again of having a lovers name etched into her flesh.

She said: "I'll never be stupid enough to have a man's name tattooed on me again."

Why did she have to go through all the pain of having that shit lasered off? She could've changed it to "A Billy Bobo" or "Kill Billy Bob."

[Female First]

HoHan and a curtain rod!

I must say that when she was all blonde and skinny-like I thought that she would look so much hotter with dark hair and a little more weight on her. But now that she's done so, I still don't like her ass! Maybe I just don't like her. It's still an improvement from looking like a wet ferret, though.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Turtleneck and Mom Jeans face the most difficult hole on the miniature golf course. - The Betsy

Hot Slut of the Day!

Karyn White

Birthday Sluts

Sam Rockwell (37)
Ryan Adams (31)
Famke Janssen (40)
Tatum O'Neal (42)
Tilda Swinton (45)
Mo Gaffney (47)
Howard McGillin (52)
Sam Shepard (62)
Art Garfunkel (64)
Ike Turner (74)

My name is Tara Reid and my veins are filled with Gin!

I love how Tara Reid always looks like she's wandering aimlessly through the streets with just random people following her. They are probably getting high from her fumes. The chick in back of her looks like a cross between HoHan and a Muskrat and that's not a good thing!







[Hollywood Tuna]

Isn't this a gorgeous dress?

Doesn't she have exquisite taste? Actually it's for one of her fragrances which should be called "Sewage Vagina."

[Thanks to DobryDen]

Borat Quote of the Day!

On Madonna's performance at the MTV Europe VMAs:

"The singer before me - who was he? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite."

Guess the Celebrity?

I was not born in the US

I am a High School drop out

I've had a song reach #8 on Billboard

I am an Emmy Award winner

I have 2 kids

UPDATE: The answer is...



Tracey Ullman! Who has won multiple Emmys, who is from England and who had a US #8 Billboard hit with They Don't Know About Us.

Big ups to ffleur for being the first to get it right!

Ashton Kutcher needs male hormones..

Or a better razor. Can't he get get hair plugs for that area or something? Even Demi Moore is embarrassed to be seen with his ass. I'd rather look at the envelope than her ugly ass sunglasses, anyway.





[A Socialite's Life]

Someone's hungover!

Kimbo Stewart looks like she got gang-banged by a pack of wolves in this pic. And you know she's into that kinky shit, since real human men don't want anything to do with her prune! Kimbo never cease to amaze me how one person can continually look worse than the time before. I think if there's a Jesus, he will shoot down from the sky and strip all her money away and give it someone who at least won't wear deer booties in public!






[Hollywood Rag]

Has Bai Ling finally found love?!

I didn't even know they were dating! But apparently Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and our favorite Asian ho, Bai Ling are together. Bai says they are very much in love despite their 10-year age difference. She's 35 and he's 25.

Bai had these kind words to say about Nick:

"My boyfriend is a godsend. I didn't need any reasons to like him and I am willing to do anything for him.

"We are very romantic. To meet someone like that, I have to give my love to him and I do really love him."

Nick's last major girlfriend was that piece of tired trash, Parasite Hilton. He must have a thing for fishy vag! Let's hope she doesn't serenade his ass!

[Contact Music]

Madonna writes poignant lyrics!

Like many of you, I've heard the new Madonna album Confessions on a Dancefloor and I'm not going to write a review on it, but it sucks. It blows. 5% of it is OK. The rest is pretty much crap. I've seen better lyric writing from toy poodles.

Here's a snippet from one of her songs called I Love New York:

"I don't like cities, but I love New York. Other
places...make me feel like a dork. If you dont like my
attitude, then you can EFF off. Just go to Texas, isn't
that where they golf"

She is a true poet! A musical genius!

[Thanks to WithJohnPaul]

Gwen tries to hawk more ugly shit on us!

Gwen Stefani launched her men's sneaker line for L.A.M.B a few days ago. Seriously, that shit is really fucking ugly and you know it's not cheap! It's like $200 for a pair of that ugly shit. And you know some stupid mofo will slap down the cash just to have a piece of Gwen on him! Bitch is smart.

P.S. - That white pompadour is TIRED!

The 30,000 Calorie sandwich!

Ingredients: Fried Mushrooms, Bacon – 14 pieces, Onion rings, Ground Beef, Corndogs, Swiss Cheese, Provolone Cheese, Cheddar Cheese, Sliced Ham, Sliced Turkey, Pastrami, Sliced Roast Beef, Bratwurst, Braunschweiger, Wheat Bread, Lettuce, Feta Cheese, Italian Salad Dressing, Oregeno, Salt & Pepper, butter, Parmesan Cheese, Canola Oil



Imagine the shits that would come out of your ass after eating this?!

[Cityrag]

Claire Danes and Billy Crudup are swingers!

Manstealer Claire Danes and Billy Crudup love to swing all day and all night.

Claire said:

"We had a trapeze and a trampoline in our house when I was growing up, and I stole the swing idea for my own home.

"I love it. We don't go out much, Billy and I watch movies and swing on my swing"

Please, that's just code for the real kind of swinging that's going on! You know these sluts go on adultfriendfinder.com and troll for other couples. I bet you they also go to those gross Swingers parties like on Real Sex. Why are swings always really old and really gross?

[Contact Music]

Is it hot in here?

Happy Birthday to one of the hottest mensez on this planet: Matthew McConaughey! He recently confessed that food makes him hard. Oooff...

"I think food is really sexy Sometimes, if I taste something I really love, I get such tingles down my spine that I have to stop and take a break".

Is he one of those foodies that like to sit on cakes and shit? Have you seen that? Those are the best. These people like rub FULL cakes on their breasts and sit on them completely nekkid.

That's such a waste of a delicious treat!

[Female First]

If you cheat on me again with a hooker, so help me God..!!

Looks like things are back to normal for Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen. The rings are back on and all seems hunky-dory.

Charlie Sheen told Craig Ferguson on last night's Late Late Show: "Things are really good"

He then flashed his wedding ring and said:

"That's a pretty good indication"

Denise filed for divorce last March, although it has not been finalized.

Did anyone ever hear that rumor on how they met? Apparently, they met a long time ago when Denise was a call girl for Heidi Fleiss and Charlie was her client.

OMG it's just like Pretty Woman! I'm so jealous!

[People]

Ashlee Simpson is the NEW Courtney Love!

This video is so fucking hot. It's basically Ashlee Simpson FUCKED UP in a Toronto McDonald's at 1am and acting the fool. She is honestly like the crackheads that I always see at 2am at my neighborhood Mickey D's shouting things about Jesus and shit.

But a drunk Ashlee is not a nice one. She tells a fan "fuck you".

Visit Egotastic! to watch video!

Jakey G will kick your ass!

Jake Gyllenhaal said that during filming of Jarhead (which I won't be seeing since I don't like war movies, except Cabaret) he got so out of hand after chipping his tooth during filming that he gave one of his co-stars a serious beat down!

He said: "For some reason. I just got so angry that I had chipped my tooth ... and just started hitting him and we didn't talk for a month after that."

Did Kiki Dunst co-star in that movie with him? Well, at least now his busted teeth will match hers!

[Gatecrasher]

Blind Items...You Guess...I Guess...

WHICH splintered celebrity duo's friendship ended when one of them told the other's parents that her friend had a serious drug problem and needed help? When the concerned parents asked their daughter if it was true, she lied and claimed that her well-meaning best buddy was the one who was abusing drugs. The folks then ordered their darling daughter never to hang out with the friend again. The friend, infuriated by the betrayal, continues to seethe about it to this day?

Richie & Parasite

WHICH heavyweight fashion designer threw a party that got so crazy, one guest had to be taken away in an ambulance? All the guests were fabulous, but none were female .

Karl Lagerfeld

Which drunk and mouthy ­junior action star ­scuffled with police on the W. 27th St. club corridor last weekend and is very lucky he wasn't arrested?

Vin Diesel

[Page Six] [Gatecrasher]

Is that camel toe?

Madge performed at the MTV Europe Awards and I must say she looked super-hot. I usually like to this bash this miss, but I'm going to take the high road. Probably, because I'm high. She's still working that Valerie Cherish hair and I'm not too friendly with the leotard, but from the waist up she's working it.

Is purple the new black, btw?

The Dlisted Report

Bruce Willis has signed to headline Black Water Transit. "Transit" follows the divergent agendas of criminals, cops and lawyers as they collide over a shipment of illegal firearms and a double homicide. Willis plays Earl Pike, a criminal who tries to get his family's illegal gun collection to a safe haven. Casting is currently taking place with shooting to begin in March. [Variety]

Alec Baldwin will play Sarah Michelle Gellar's love interest in The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing. Shooting is set to begin next May. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Woody Allen's next film which shot in London will be titled Scoop. Scarlett Johansson, who also stars in Allen's London-set Match Point, plays an American journalism student visiting London who investigates a series of murders and falls in love with a dashing Englishman (Hugh Jackman). Ian McShane plays a man who eggs her own in her sleuthing and Allen plays a man posing as her father. The film will hit theaters next Summer. [Coming Soon]

Penelope Cruz and Danny DeVito will join Gwyneth Paltrow in The Good Night. Gwyneth's brother, Jake Paltrow directs the romantic comedy. Jake Paltrow wrote the script for the New York-set comedy that will star Freeman as a washed-up pop star who writes ad jingles and suffers a midlife crisis. Cruz will play the object of his romantic interests, and DeVito plays a dream doctor who tries to get the troubled man back on track. Shooting begins next week in London. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

There were a million good captions to choose from! Here were my Top 3! And seriously I could've done Top 10!

Is that Tony Curtis? - Anonymous 3:31pm

Life has returned to New Orleans but the lesbians seem a bit off?!?! - Anonymous 8:03pm

Poli-Grip: Stay strong, all day long. - Fat Girl Jessica

[Thanks to Glen]


Click here for NSFW version!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Susannah Hoffs

Birthday Sluts

Matthew McConaughey (36)
Trishelle Cannatella (26)
Heather Tom (30)
Sean "Diddy" Combs (36)
Jeff Probst (43)
Kathy Griffin (44)
Ralph Macchio (44)
Laura Bush (59)
Doris Roberts (76)
Walter Cronkite (89)

Say Something Nice

Teri Snatcher: Um..er..well I'm sure she saved money on a Halloween mask!

It is just me?

Or is Justin Timberlake suddenly not sexy anymore? The pic on the left is of him now and the one of him on the right is a year or so ago. Today he looks like a golf daddy. What's Cameron doing to him? Don't get me wrong, I'd still hit it. But in the past he looks like he would've done the deed in the back of a rusty truck and now it looks like he only does it with the lights off!

Who wants to learn about sex from this bitch?

I sure don't! Just because she played a slut on TV doesn't mean she knows everything about sex. But she did teach Brit Brit how to orgasm, right?

Joey Buttafuoco on Desperate Housewives?

Well, sort of. Joey Buttafuoco can be seen on the set of Desperate Housewives...serving beverages and snacks to the crew! Joey moved to Hollywood after he became infamous during the whole Long Island Lolita scandal. He hoped to make it into the movies, but I guess this as far as he's going to go.

He's also working on a screenplay. He's such a fucking tool! But you know Teri Snatcher is hittin' that!

[E! Online]

You know this makes her gag...

Nicole Richie tries to eat a corn dog while shooting for ElleGirl magazine. You know she thought of her boyfriend's dick to get through this traumatic experience!

Guess the Celebrity?

I have been married to the same person for over 25 years

I've been nominated 4 times for an Oscar

I love to play the guitar

I was born in California

E.T. beat me to Earth

UPDATE: Here is the answer!


Jeff Bridges who starred in Starman 2 years after E.T. and who has never won an Oscar!

Congrats to z for being the first to get it right!

Marguerite Perrin is probably the craziest woman on this planet!

Did anyone catch last night's episode of Fox's Trading Spouses? Well this crazy bitch was featured! Her name is Marguerite Perrin and she's a CHRISTIAN from Louisiana. And of course the producers had to switch her with this spiritual (but by no means Christian) family from Boston. The antics of Mrs. Perrin on last night's episode were amazing. First of all, she thought she smelled something (probably sin) and started to dry heave all over the yard.

And next week Mrs. Perrin flips out and tears up the $50,000 check they receive! She is my newest idol.

Click here to watch the clip where she FREAK OUT!



[Pics: FourFour]

Doll Porn

No, that's not a screen cap from Parasite's newest sex tape. It's some Barbie porn. I'm sure Mattel doesn't like that shit, but I do. I always knew Barbie was the biggest slut and that Ken was a serial chainsaw-killer.

Watch it here

Nicole Richie is a bit confused...

She thinks that when you go to a restaurant, you just order the food and let it sit there. Then you smoke a couple of cigs and wash em down with a Diet Coke and then off on your way. I love how her friend is examining her plate like "WTF is that?!"

[Pic: Hollywood Rag]

More evidence that Parasite is a used up whore!

Let's take bets on where she got that bruise. I'm thinking MK Olsen assaulted her ass in the club. That MK is a midget, but she's hungry. And hungry midgets are vicious!





The birth-control patch is a nice touch!



[Pics: Hollywood Tuna]

Gravity!

Meg Ryan's face is strangely pulling up while Goldie Hawn's is pulling down. Is there some strange gravity going on at the party they are attending?

[Pic: Goldenfiddle]

Posh kisses another dude!

The super-gorgeous Victoria Posh Beckham met up with a friend and shared a lovely kiss with him. He's probably some fag that makes skirts for her or something. You know her hair totally falls out when she's in the shower from over-bleaching that shit!


[click on images to enlarge]





[Lime-Light]

Brangelina almost killed by bears!

Brangelina had to fight for their lives when a bear broke into their Canadian compound. Or something like that. Brad, Angie and the kids came face to face with two huge grizzly bears that broke into the kitchen and started going through their food.

A source said: "He wisely phoned cops who called in park rangers to shoo off the animals. It seems the animals had been attracted by food smells wafting from a kitchen window Brad had left ajar".

Does anybody know if Jennifer Aniston owns a bear suit? They better check into that.

[Monsters and Critics]

Tyra Banks how I don't need to see her!

Tyra Banks is planning to get all fat and shit for her TV talk show. Probably one last desperate attempt to get some decent ratings. Tyra has already gone where Fishsticks Paltrow has gone and donned a fat suit to see how she's treated with the extra weight.

Tyra was made to look like she weighed 350lbs.

She said: "It was one of the most heartbreaking days"

Ladies and gentlemen, I think Tyra Banks is finally heading into Jenny Jones territory. Expect one of her upcoming shows to be called "I was an ugly skank in High School, but now I look like a stripper!"

[WMTW]

Team MK!

MK Olsen is said to still be fuming over the fact that Parasite Hilton used her soggy vagina to snag her man, Nachos! But apparently MK isn't taking it lightly and is planning war on the slutty bleach-blonde! Here are the 5 ways MK plans to destroy Paris:




Where's the part where MK stabs Parasite in the throat with her heel?


[JJB]

Gisele is so insecure!

Gisele Budchen reportedly dumped Leonardo DiCaprio, because he cozied up to Sienna Miller. But did he hit that?

Leo and Sienna were caught being quite flirty at a Los Angeles nightclub a few weeks ago. When Gisele found out, her latin temper took over and she dumped his ass once and for all!

A source said: "She was tired of Leo's flirting. The straw that broke the camel's back was none other than Sienna".

Gisele has apparently starting dating Kelly Slater, one of Pamela Anderson's ex's. And Leo has going out more and more with dimwit Parasite Hilton.

A witness said: "Leo looked like he was in his element chatting away to Paris. It was almost as though Paris was trying to give him advice on his love life"

Can you imagine what a conversation with Parasite would be like? She'd answer everything with 1 of the 3 ways.

1 - That's hot
2 - Wanna fuck?
3 - Wanna take my picture?

[Tonight]

Was this in their contract?

Reports are that Katie Holmes is demanding a pre-nuptial agreement before marrying Tom Cruise guaranteeing her millions of his dollars. Is she that smart?

Katie is refusing to marry Tom unless a prenup is drafted giving herself and her unborn alien-child security when the marriage falls apart. Katie has apparently asked her lawyer father to help her during this process.

Shouldn't this have been decided before the brainwash? This is story is probably coming from Tom's camp to make Katie look like she has some independent.

[The Scoop]

Clooney & Pitt buy Gay!

George Clooney and Brad Pitt are not only working on opening a Las Vegas resort together, but they have recently purchased one of Orange County's most popular bars, The Boom Boom Room which is in Laguna Beach, CA. The two plan to go really gay and turn it into a bed and breakfast/restaurant.

The pair along with billionaire, Steven Udvar-Hazy, want this to be their first in a chain of bed and breakfasts bearing the names Pitt and Clooney.

Do you think Angelina is jealous? Expect The Pitt and Clooney to announce a December wedding in Sydney.

[Defamer]

The Dlisted Report

Director, Paul W.S. Anderson has been set to direct the video-game franchise Castlevania. The film will focus on the origins of Dracula and the uprising of the Belmont Clan, a vampire-slaying family who supposedly become humanity's last hope. Production is set to begin sometime next year. [Variety]

Matt LeBlanc will make a return to the big-screen in the sci-fi thriller The Watch. Based on a original screenplay by John Claflin and Daniel Zelman, the World War II-set film revolves around a team of highly specialized soldiers sent to blow up a Nazi fuel depot, only to discover they are being hunted by an evil spirit unleashed by the Nazi's secret occult experiments. Matt will also produce. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto will team-up for Chapter 27, a movie about the murder of John Lennon. Leto will play Lennon's murderer Mark Chapman, while Lohan will play a devoted Lennon fan who befriends Chapman on the weekend in 1980 when he kills the former Beatle. No word yet on when production will begin. [Variety]

Scarlett Johansson and Colin Farrell will star in Neil Jordan's Borgia. In 1492, the Pope dies and Cardinal Rodrigo Borgia emerges as the top contender to head the Vatican, despite a litter of illegitimate children. When he gets the papal throne, Rodrigo moves to consolidate his power thereby empowering and alienating various members of his family. Shooting begins April of next year. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Carson exclaims in delight, "Hey Clay, we're over here!!!" - Vivalashameless



[Big ups to saram23]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Dorothy Lyman

Birthday Sluts

Dolph Lundgren (48)
Gemma Ward (18)
Jasmine Trias (19)
Adam Ant (51)
Dennis Miller (52)
Kate Capshaw (52)
Roseanne (53)
Anna Wintour (56)
Lulu (57)

TomKat make beautiful music!

Tom Cruise and his prisoner, Kate Cruise attended a Scientology dinner at the cult's UK headquarters in East Grinstead. They were all over each other like usually making sure that everyone saw that they were actually an item. During the evening singer, Issac Hayes, who is also a Scientologist called TomKat to the stage where the two made beautiful music together!

What was on their song list? They sang "Mustang Sally" and "Old Time Rock and Roll."

I have a question. Do they have to continue their charade in front of the Scientology members, also? Don't those sluts know that TomKat is a fraud? That fucking sucks for Katie.

You know Tom made her rehearse for hours for those stupid songs. Bitch better be marking up her invoice!

[People]

I love me some Jennifer Love Hewitt!

I know some of you bitches hate her ass, but I happen to like her. JLove reminds me of all those girls in High School I had a crush on. The girl that I felt was funny enough to make me want to eat their pussies, but it never seemed to work out. Unlike other Hollywood hoes, JLove actually put some clothes on for Halloween instead of took off her clothes. I love her!

Let the bashing begin...

50 Cent Quote of the Day!

On Kanye West's remark about George Bush hating black people:

"I think people responded to it the best way they can. What Kanye West was saying, I don't know where that came from."

"The New Orleans disaster was meant to happen. It was an act of God."

Brit Brit needs your cash for Kfed!

This bitch is putting out another album? This time all remixes. They probably spent $50 bucks on this album, because Brit Brit is screaming at her record company that she needs dough.

She should just drop that sex tape already!

Guess the Celebrity?

I am a Capricorn

Some say my Oscar win was robbed by a monster

I have never been married

I refused to go nude in my Broadway debut

One of my roles created a fashion craze

UPDATE: And here's the answer!


Diane Keaton, who lost Oscar to Charlize Theron in Monster, made her Broadway debut in Hair and created a fashion craze with her role in Annie Hall!

Congrats to Anonymous 2:16pm for being the first to get it right!

Mimi's nipples come out and play!

The crowd below is probably screaming at her "We can see ya nips!" And she's like "Whaa....heeehh? Oh yeah, it's a pretty rose..hahahaha"





[The Fashion Spot]

Haven't seen Maggie Gyllenhaal in a while...

And she's still uglier than the dog shit Freddie Prinze Jr. stepped in..



[Lime-Light]

Bai Ling does her best Yoko Ono

Bai Ling was the hottest piece of ass on Vh1's But Can They Sing? If you didn't get a chance to hear that bitch's haunting rendition of Like a Virgin, TVGasm has a perfect stream for you!

It's like a cross between Yoko Ono and Janet Leigh's murderous scream in Psycho!

Listen Here

P.S. - She's so sweet that her vagina juices are pink and foamy!

Together Again!

by Lahoma00

Holy shit! My favorite on-screen duo ever, Faye Dunaway and Brenda Vacarro, reunited for this picture!



These two played partners in crime in one of the most brilliant comedies ever made, Supergirl. They played Selena and Bianca, two hapless but lovable witches trying to take over the fucking world. They lived in an amusement park like the gypsy trash they are!

The Kate Moss Comeback Tour continues...

Kate Moss graces 11 glorious pages of the newest issue of Vanity Fair in the US. Expect her to tour soon in Kate Moss: The Bitch is Back!

Jeff Probst nekkid?

WOW posted a nude picture of Survivor host Jeff Probst a couple of weeks ago which looked pretty fake to me. But now they have posted another one with his head cut off, but the body and background is exactly the same.

His package ain't bad. Pretty average. I once heard a rumor that he was into trannies hardcore.

Here are the work-safe pictures:






Click for the nude versions!






[WOW Report]

Jenny's rough sex!

Jennifer Aniston was left bruised and used after filming hot sex scenes with Clive Owen for her film Derailed.

She said: "I got good bruises on my legs - not pretty.

"But your adrenaline is running so you don't even feel it."

Um, maybe you have bruises on your legs because the make-up department painted them on? I can't see this chick getting down and dirty. She's more of the dead fish type. She probably balances her check book in her head while getting nailed.

[Ananova]

There's a fire in my crotch!

GOD DAYUM! HoHan is looking mighty fine as a slutty firefighter. Don't you love how girls use Halloween as an excuse to dress like a hooker. At least this bitch is showing Parasite Hilton how it's done!


[click image to enlarge]

[Big ups to DobryDen]

Baby Bling

Posh & Becks' three sons have been given each a watch worth thousands of dollars from Damon Dash. Damon is giving Romeo, Brooklyn and Cruz this extravagant present for Christmas.

Although, the boys aren't quite old enough to wear the diamond encrusted watches.

A source said: "Damon is good pals with Victoria and has been since she was the face of his former clothes range Rocawear in 2002.

"He launched this range of designer watches with celebrity jeweler Daniel Lazar and there is already such a demand for them, there is a huge waiting list" .

That's good, teach them at a young age how to be a gaudy mess.

[Female First]

Is someone getting "The Big D" ?

Apparently Kfed went to the ATM machine and got THE BIG DECLINE sparking rumors that Brit Brit Spears cancelled all of his cards in an effort to keep her man at home! He reportedly also got declined while trying to buy some shit at Blockbuster.

I honestly wish I was the cashier that got to tell Mr. Brit Brit Spears that unfortunately his Big Mama cut his ass off!











[ClickBritney]

Nicole Richie loves the smack!

Nicole Richie told the recent edition of Jane Magazine that if she could go back in time she probably would try heroin again, because that's her personality. After rehab she says she is fine now.

Whatever, you know this bitch is shooting it in her eye balls on a daily basis. Why the fuck would you do something again after it almost ruined your life?

This slut still has the smack fever! Quick check her gina lips for track marks!

[WTOV9] [Big ups to Jeffrey]

Is HoHan the winner of the 9-inch sausage?

Jared Leto is known to be quite the slut. After his break-up to Cameron Diaz he played the field with everyone from Scarlett to Ashley and now it seems that his hush-hush relationship with HoHan is going public.

The two have denied that they've been doing the deed, but are planning to make their love public. A few nights ago they partied together at NYC's Bungalow 8 where sources say they were all over each other.

HoHan is so hot for Leto that she even has his autograph on her foot. But we think it's his famous package that's got her obsessed.

[Gatecrasher]

As smug as a pig!

Kfed's #1 baby mama, Shar Jackson is telling Brit Brit Spears she told her so after rumors that the pop tart's marriage is on the rocks. Kfed left Shar for Brit Brit when she was 7 months preggers with their son Kaleb. The couple already had a daughter, Kori.

Shar has a message for Brit Brit: "C'mon, kiddo, did you think things were going to be different?"

"Kevin was there for Kori every single day of her life until I told him to go out and get a job."
Please Shar would take his ass back! She's dickmatized! Because you know her current f*buddy, Quentin Tarantino, ain't got good dick!

[Lowdown]

What a piece of shit!

Parasite Hilton's new man, Nachos, is proving to be a considerate and lovely human being. After getting drunk with friends at L.A. nightclub Element, Nachos and pals headed for Burger King. It was there that they met a homeless man and Nachos being the good guy that he is offered the man $100. On one condition: that the homeless man pour a soda all over his head.

The poor man took the payout while Nachos and his friends laughed.

Finally I think Parasite found a man with a heart as big as hers!

[Story: Page Six] [Pic: Hollywood Rag]

The Dlisted Report

Reese Witherspoon and her production company have purchased the rights to The Reckoning as a possible vehicle for her. Based on the 2004 book by Jeff Long, the story centers on a photojournalist who arrives in Cambodia to cover the U.S. military search for the remains of an American pilot shot down during the Vietnam War. Reese also plans to produce the project. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Kenneth Branagh plans to direct a big-screen version of Mozart's Opera The Magic Flute. The film will take place on the eve of World War I and will be translated into English with a libretto by Stephen Fry. In the movie, a young soldier waiting for the command to go to battle is transported into a twilight world between dream and nightmare. He is sent on a deadly mission to rescue the daughter of the Queen of the Night from the dark lord Sarastro. Shooting begins this January in London. [Variety]

Paramount President Gail Berman has confirmed there there will be a sequel to 2002's Jackass. They are hoping to begin production next year with a release in time for Christmas 2006. [Dark Horizons]

Jerry Hall has dropped out of the London stage production of High Society. Jerry is suffering from fever and will not be able to go on in the musical. Her understudy will resume her role. [Broadway.com]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

The dog wasn't embarrassed walking around in a purple and leopard print pimp suit, but shaking Tori Spelling's hand was too much to bear. - Athena

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jessica Hahn

Birthday Sluts

Nelly (31)
Gervase Peterson (36)
Lauren Velez (41)
K.D. Lang (44)
Maxine Nightingale (53)
Stefanie Powers (63)

Bai Ling Strikes Again!

by Lahoma00



Did anyone see But Can They Sing? on VH1? It just proved that there are a lot of stupid c-listers that can't sing. Kim Alexis sounded like a horse that had its balls cut off, and that Myrka bitch makes my Karoake performances look like Juice Newton! However, the incomparable Bai Ling was on and performed the sickest, shittiest rendition of "Like a virgin" I've ever seen! She's so hot! Bai rolled around on the stage, screeching off key, in a giant dress that made her look like Bozo the clown had thrown up on her! Everyone go to VH1.com and vote to keep Bai on the show---I want this bitch there until the end to entertain me!

Also vote for Morgan Fairchild. She's really fucking hot and I want her to have a comeback!

Oedipus Mess

Bobby...Bobby...Bobby...are times tough?! This costume looks like you purchased everything you needed at Big Lots!

I think we've found our winner for the scariest Halloween costume this year!

And don't try and sex it up, please!!!!








[Big ups to DobryDen]

What happened to Jimmy from H.R. Pufnstuf?!?

That was him then....



And this is him now...



DAMN! I guess hard living has beaten his face down!

[HeyKaren2]

Let's make it legal!

Brangelina may be headed down the aisle any minute now, but first there's the problem of money. They are currently at work on their pre-nuptial agreement. It's not really about money, but more about visitation rights for Angie's two kids. Maddox has already grown quite close to the man that he calls "daddy."

A source said: "Angelina wants Brad to give up any claim on her children in the prenup … I think he'd sign anything if it got Angelina to agree to marry him."

I see how she works! She's going to make Brad sign a document that states if they the marriage doesn't work out she'll get everything! That way she'll have EVEN MORE money to buy kids and like stop war and shit. The bigger picture being, Angelina Jolie is going to take over the WORLD one man at a time!

[National Ledger] [Big ups to wannajoinme]

Chestica needed meds!

Chestica Simpson was so distraught over rumors that her marriage was falling apart that she sought help from a therapist.

She told Teen People: "I respect knowledge of the psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren't an entertainer."

"Hopefully mine and Nick's story will continue for the rest of our lives, like what we vowed, through sickness and in health."

She totally fuck her therapist, right? And give me a break about that sickness and health bullshit. She means they will be together until their contract with ABC is up.

[Yahoo News]

Chad Michael Murray in a Basketball sandwich!

Heidi Klum says Hi!

Who puts on lip gloss with their middle finger? Oh I get it! She's telling us to fuck off?! Or is she putting on lip gloss? I'm confused!

Guess the Celebrity?

I was born in California

My favorite type of food is Mexican

My husband loves lawyers

I was born before Watergate

Barbara Walters thinks I'm beautiful

UPDATE: And the answer is!



Miss Santa Ana herself, Michelle Pfeiffer! Who Barbara Walters called one of the most beautiful women in the world and who is married to David E. Kelly creator of law series like Ally McBeal and Boston Legal!

Congrats to Jane for being the 1st to get it right!

What do you get when you cross Scooby Doo and Wonder Woman?

HAYLIE DUFF!

[Pic: Hollywood Tuna]

Halloween's Over!

Last night was the official evening of Halloween and it brought out the celebs and their costumes. Some worked and some kind of fell flat.

Eartha Kitt's wax figure made an appearance at Bette Midler's bash!


Phil and Marlo, that's one puffy looking cowboy!



Bette Midler as Parasite Hilton's swollen vagina



You know Jason Biggs got off on this. He probably jacked into his stuffed toto's mouth that night.



Yoko Ono didn't bother putting on a costume.



Who let the dog out?



Martha Stewart with her best impersonation of Norman Bates.

Heidi Klum..Glad Bag Witch?

Who broke Seal's sunglasses? And don't say his face! He's hot!

Let's hope this cat is spayed!

[Lime-Light]

Ewww...who seriously wants Vincent Gallo's sperm?

As of yesterday, a man claiming to be working for Vincent Gallo posted an auction on eBay selling the sperm of Vincent Gallo. The starting bid was at $1 Million. The auction has since been removed.

The seller, who claims to speak for Gallo, is looking for a blond, Jewish woman to bear his child, because "this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."

If you're interested in getting preggers by Gallo why not save yourself the Mill and just stick your vagina in Chloe Sevigny's mouth.

[R&M]

Renee Zellweger is like a Plasma TV!

Kenny Chesney has compared his split to Renee Zellweger like losing a TV.

"It was like opening the door to our house and having someone come in and take your big-screen TV off the wall during the big game, and there's nothing you can do about it".

I think the big game is code for man on man bukkake.

I am truly disappointed...

Mimi attended Bette Midler's costume ball last night in NYC and didn't even dress up! What is wrong with this bitch? She loves a good costume. OMG, she's totally going to have a nervous breakdown isn't she or maybe this is a Disco Miss Piggy costume. I can't tell.

Somebody please stuff a dead dove in Sharon's mouth!

Will this bitch every shut up? Sharon Osbourne feels the need to talk shit on everything and everyone! I used to like her until she started bitching and moaning like she's always on the rag! Sharon recently spoke out about Madonna to GQ Magazine.

She only had nice things to say, of course.

"I would like to punch her," "She is so full of shit. She's into Kabbalah one minute, she's a Catholic the next. She'll be a Hindu soon, no doubt."

Sure she's right, but have you seen the guns on Madge? I'm sure she could take Sharon down.

And the sour-mouthed Osbourne didn't stop at Madge!

"Melanie Griffith has destroyed herself. She was this lovely, fresh, blonde Californian girl, and now she's just grotesque — it's so sad."

Now that I completely agree with. But now that Sharon has those disgusting tits she has no right to talk about grotesque plastic surgery.

[The Scoop]

We've heard this before!

Leonardo DiCaprio and Gisele Bundchen have reportedly called it quits for good! The two have been dating for years but are infamously known for breaking up and getting back together over and over again.

Although reports are that a third party is the reason for the break-up.

I have learned that the third party is actually Krispy Kreme! Hey, that's something Leo can't say no to!

[Page Six]

Kelly's stalking herself!

Kelly Osbourne has confessed that she has become increasingly concerned over an obsessive, cross-dressing fan of hers that stalks her at every event.

She said: "Honestly, I have got security men who have to really keep an eye out for this one fan. "I can't stand it when he shows up although it's hilarious as he loves wearing women's clothes.

"At first I didn't realize he was anything to worry about and I am sure he is harmless.

"But you have to be careful in this industry so I'm not taking any chances."

Actually, nobody has ever seen this "crazed stalker" but Kelly. She probably finally just looked in a mirror. And from that point on she swears that a crazy, mascara wearing, fat, pig of a man is following her ass wherever she goes! Shit! He even visits her while she's brushing her teeth!

[Contact Music]

Christian Slater falls off a roof!

Christian Slater was attending a party at Paris Hilton's home when he managed to fall off the roof of her neighbor's house! A probably wasted Christian made the climb onto the neighbors roof after they complained about the noise, he then fell into a bush from the first story. He was not injured.

I have since learned that the bush he actually fell into was attached to Paris Hilton. Mr. Slater has not been heard from since.


[People]

Just any other family having a day at the beach...

Angie, Brad, Mad and Zaha looked like any other family as they patrolled the beach. Angie and Bradley kept their distance only managing a slight arm around the shoulder. Angie must smell a photographer, because her lips have gone into "pucker" mode.






[Big ups to Rritzygal]

The new Johnny Depp

Plot: The story of John Wilmot (Depp), a.k.a. the Earl of Rochester, a 17th century poet who famously drank and debauched his way to an early grave, only to earn posthumous critical acclaim for his life's work.

Stars: Johnny Depp, Samantha Morton, John Malcovich and Rosamund Pike.
Directed by: Laurence Dunmore

Due: December 23, 2005

The Dlisted Report

John Malcovich, Ellen Barkin, Alison Lohman and Bruce Willis have signed aboard the independent feature Texas Lullaby which will be directed by famed photographer Malcolm Venville. Steve Allison's script is a contemporary adaptation of Shakespeare's "Hamlet". It is set in the small town of Lamarque, Texas, the sister city to Elsinore, Denmark. Production begins next month in Texas. [Production Weekly]

Jennifer Love Hewitt will play a hooker housewife in She Had Brains, a Body, and the Ability to Make Men Love Her based on an article in Texas Monthly. The article, which was written by Katy Vine and appeared in the January issue, tells the tale of a 22-year-old housewife and former homecoming queen in Odessa, Texas, who became one of the city's most popular hookers until she, her co-workers and 68 prominent Odessa residents were arrested in a scandal that shook the city. [Variety]

The Color Purple the Musical begins performances tonight on Broadway. The Oprah Winfrey produced vehicle stars La Chanze and has a book by Marsha Norman. Brenda Russell, Allee Willis and Stephen Bray wrote the score. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

"next time i order you to do a job private, i expect you to finish. spitters are quitters." - rollerslut

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Miss Angelina Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt were married this past Sunday. The groom polished up his mangina and the bride wore his balls. - Cicelyfairfield

Hot Slut of the Day!

Gloria Gaynor

Birthday Sluts

Anthony Kiedis (43)
Bo Bice (30)
Aishwarya Rai (32)
Toni Collette (33)
Jenny McCarthy (33)
Sophie B. Hawkins (38)
Lyle Lovett (48)

Just shut your mouth already!

I am finally doing my quick recap of Madge's newest documentary I'm Going to Tell You a Secret which debuted on MTV like two weeks ago. It was no Truth or Dare, because she's a totally different person now. She's all Kabbalah blah blah blah War blah blah blah Spirituality blah blah blah Poetry blah blah blah...

But during auditions, I spotted super-hot Snow Urban from So You Think You Can Dance strutting her shit. But she didn't make the cut. Madge didn't want the competition!



Before a show, Madge got the shits! Madge shits probably smell like sage and burnt cat hair.



And she's human to you know, here Madge is trying to cry. But basically only Kabbalah water poured out.




Click here to see and read the rest!



This one of my favorite parts of her show. She gets really fucking dramatic while singing a song from Evita. Too bad that chair wasn't electric and I had access to the switch. One can only dream.


You know secretly she loved it. It brought out old memories of when she used to be interesting.



Go on hit that bitch! Hit her! Oh, I guess you need the job right?



Looks like Madge finally let out one of her shits in the form of an egotistical documentarian!



Madge also got hungry so ordered some Fishsticks!



They're such dykes! I have no idea what's going on here.. I think Madge and Fishsticks are having two different conversations with that woman. They are so fucking self-involved!



Wait, which one is Madge?



She's such a "real" musician



And here's one of my favorite people ever: Joan Ciccone. She's so clueless!



Now the best part of the documentary was our introduction to the utterly interesting and fascinating Lourdes aka Lola.



The thing is, I think Madge is pretty much a terrific mother from what I can see. Sure she doesn't let them watch TV or eat ice cream, but Lola knows how to speak French fluently. I think I would've traded in my 6 hours of TV a day if I had that kind of skill.



Awww....they love each other or Lola just wants a new Juicy track suit.



But...Rocco totally outshines Lourdes. He is pure sunshine. He is seriously so happy. Maddox and him should start a band.







Frida Kahlo totally needs some waxing. Can't Madge spare the $25 so Lola can get a decent plucking?





Lola has no idea that Rocco is about to chop off her head. Her head will later be used for Madge's album cover.



Rocco loves to laugh!



And laugh!




Madge starts lets us know how many years her career has left...



And here comes the poem. Ya see, it seems that the spiritual ones writes poem after poem. And each one is worst than the former. I've her second grade poems better than her shit. She puts on glasses to distract from the fact that her poem stinks.



But at the end of the day..Madge is just like us. She drinks beer in a pub. She's such the girl-next-door!

Poll Results: Who is the most pretentious celebrity?

You guys totally got this one right! Good job, y'all!

Thanks for voting!

Guess the Scary Movie Character?

UPDATE: Here's the real character behind the pic!


Wendy from The Shining!

Congrats to MayDay for being the 1st to get it right!

Happy Halloweenies!

P.S. - Jacko looks better here than his current look.

Is this even a costume for her?

Parasite Hilton showed up to a costume party dressed as basically herself, but with a little more class. Me thinks she purchased this costume at the bargain bin at Frederick's.



She should just fucking go bottomless! We've all seen that sorry snatch of hers! No doubt that she waltzed into the party, promptly got on her knees and went on to give every male at the party a blow job with a happy ending!

Is this World's ugliest dog?

Sam is a 15yo hairless Chinese-Crested dog. He is also the undisputed champion of the World's Ugliest Dog winning this title three years in a row! Even though he has a face that looks like death, Sam is extremely sweet and lovable! Visit his website.

Has Haylie Duff ever tried out for this contest? Me thinks she'll finally win something.

[Thanks to WithJohnPaul]

Xtina is a naughty, naughty girl!

Xtina obviously needed a Halloween costume to match her permanently red lips, so what's better than a sexy nurse? Works for me. God, she's such a bad girl and I love that shit. I bet you Brit Brit is crying her eyes out at the sight of Xtina. Her man seems nice too. I bet you he's packing large, because she won't have it any other way.

Nick's new Jessica?

Now that Nick Lachey's marriage to Jessica Simpson is basically over, he seems to have his eyes set on another Jessica. During a Hurricane Katrina benefit in Las Vegas on October 15th, Nick met and fell head over heels for Jessica Biel.

"Nick arrived at the event with his brother Drew but as soon as he saw Jessica, he made a beeline straight for her!

"After that, he rarely left her side all night, flirting with Jessica every chance he got. She seemed to love all the attention, and she stared at Nick adoringly."

Sources at the event say that Jessica was equally interested even though she's dating Chris Evans.

If this dumb bitch leaves CHRIS EVANS for this idiot, I will surely slap the shit out of her ass and then immediately console Chris!

[National Enquirer]

Denise, a pumpkin and a bumblebee!

Wowsers! Denise Richards gets ready to take her two kids trick or treating. And maybe it's just the angle or the lighting, but well...her baby..is um...I'm not saying it!



And her bumblebee looks like the spitting image of Charlie Sheen. Which I'm not sure is such a good thing. Both of her kids look so frustrated! Maybe that mullet she's working is really getting to her!

Madge Quote of the Day

"I find it very strange that it's (Scientology) so disturbing to people. It's not hurting anybody. If it makes Tom Cruise happy, I don't care if he prays to turtles. And I don't think anybody else should." .

Mischa celebrates Halloween early!

Mischa Barton and her boyfriend Cisco Adler who is probably one the ugliest men around decided to celebrate Halloween early yesterday. She dressed up as a trailer-trash Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie and me thinks he was going for more an Encino Man look.

And everytime Mischa and Cisco kiss, a precious kitten dies.








[JJB]

MK to basically play herself on screen!

MK Olsen has left NYU and is currently keeping it real in Los Angeles. Sources say that the 25lb garden gnome is focusing on acting now. She's very interested in taking a role in Factory Girl which stars Sienna Miller as Andy Warhol muse, Edie Sedgwick. MK may play another Warhol figure, Bridget Berlin.

A source said: "Mary-Kate will be playing a speed freak. She's skinny enough!"

MK is so excited because she finally gets to lose those extra 10lbs she's always wanted to use. Now she finally has an excuse to go back on Fen-Phen.

[Page Six]

How's the Caribbean coke?

Kate Moss checked out of rehab last week in Arizona and immediately jetted to New York to stay with friends. But now she's going to shack herself up in a Caribbean hideaway with friend Meg Matthews to continue her recovery. Kate has reportedly told Petey "Dough Boy" Doherty that she will also go back to him if he kicked drugs. He can kick em all right and then pick em right back up and snort the shit out of em!

These fucking celebs have it made. They need to go to a thousand-dollar a night resort to RECOVER from being at a thousand-dollar a night rehab resort. Some things just aren't fair.

[Jossip]

Is Martha going broke?!

Martha Stewart has two flopped TV shows on her hand. Her daytime talk show and The Apprentice. Stock for her company is also slowly decreasing. So it's no surprise that she's putting her much-beloved Turkey Hill on the market. She's owned the Wesport, CT property for more than 30 years. The reason she gave is:

"I hardly go there anymore. I don't miss it,"

The house is set to get at least $10 Million. Martha you can tell it like it T-I-S. You is going broke, bitch! And that's NOT a good thing.

[Page Six]

Blind Items...I Guess...You Guess...

WHICH aging front man for a (recently returned) '80s pop band still unzips his trousers at photo shoots in an effort to impress the female assistants with his endowment?

Simon Le Bon from Duran Duran

WHICH teen queen at Bungalow 8 was loudly accused by an annoyed friend of "snorting half a kilo" after a handoff outside the bathroom door?

HoHan

WHICH famous chef with plenty on his hot plate now has a customer alleging his dinner at the chef's fancy steakhouse was interrupted by a "four-legged rodent the size of a Verdura Cuff in the shameless head of romaine they claim as their version of a Caesar?"

Jean Georges

WHICH swishy pop star who won't admit he's gay is dating a well-known interior designer? The decorator is recovering from his previous boyfriend's tragic death, while the pop star is equally despondent about his ailing career

Ricky Martin is the pop-star, Nate Berkus is the interior-designer

[Gatecrasher] [Page Six]

Young Hannibal

Here's a first picture of Gaspard Ulliel as a young Hannibal Lecter in Behind the Mask which is currently shooting. Based on Thomas Harris' upcoming new book of the same name, this prequel shows a young Hannibal Lechter in three different phases of his life from childhood in Lithuania to his ten years in France up to his time in America before his capture by FBI agent Will Graham in Red Dragon.

The Dlisted Report

Jennifer Garner will star in erotic-thriller Sabbatical.The story follows a couple that hits the doldrums in their seventh year of marriage. To inject some life into their union, they decide to take a two-week sabbatical from each other during which, within a set of rules, they can do whatever they want. When the wife returns to the agreed-upon meeting place two weeks later, however, she discovers that her husband has disappeared. Jennifer will also produce. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Saw II was the #1 movie this weekend bringing in over $30 Million saving the box office slump. The Legend of Zorro came in at a far second bringing in $16.5 Million. Prime rounded out the top 3 bringing in $6.4 Million [Box Office Mojo]

Ian Somerhalder has joined Eddie Kaye Thomas and Eliza Dushku in the Off-Broadway run of Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead. The spoof of the Charles Schulz comic strip "Peanuts" follows the original gang a decade later as their beloved beagle companion dies. A missing pen pal, an abused pianist, a pyromaniac ex-girlfriend, two drunk cheerleaders, a homophobic quarterback, a burnt out Buddhist and a drama queen sister fill the show's ensemble. Previews begin December 1st. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

The Ku Klux Klan starts a Gay chapter. - Caty

[Thanks to MK is my bitch]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Elvira

Birthday Sluts

Dermot Mulroney (42)
Tinkerbell Hilton (3)
Justin Chatwin (23)
Samaire Armstrong (25)
J.T. Leroy (25)
Eddie Kay Thomas (25)
Piper Perabo (29)
Vanilla Ice (37)
Rob Schneider (42)
Peter Jackson (44)
Deidre Hall (58)
Sally Kirkland (61)
Ron Rifkin (66)
Dan Rather (74)

Is he gay?

by Lahoma00



This is Dave Lieberman, who has the show "Good deal with Dave Lieberman" on the Food Network. He's hot shit. But is this bitch a fag? Somebody tell me. I must know the sexual orientation of all celebrities!

Angie's saving her ass for Brad!

Angie Jolie currently is adorned with 11 tattoos. She has everything from a huge tiger on her back to a cross on her hip. Sources say that she's eager to have her girlfriend, Bradley Pitt represented somewhere on her body. And what area of her body does she have in mind? Her ass, of course. Angie is keen to have a rabbit inked on one of her cheeks, because it's his Chinese birth year.

Do you think Brad actually believes that rabbit on her ass has anything to do with him? This is one of Angie's tricks again! Goddamn she's good! She's telling him this so she can convince him to tattoo her image on his back along with the phrase "Angelina's Jolie's #1 Bitch."

[National Ledger]

Hot Slut of the Week: Salad Fingers

Age: ?
Birthday: ?
Birth Name: Salad Fingers created by David Firth

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: October 28, 2005
Claim to Fame: The star of of several Flash cartoons on the Internet. He may be a cannibal or possibly a murderer.

Where is he now? Still stimulating his fingers by rubbing them them on nails and tea kettles.

Why is he Hot Slut of the Week? Because he's sick and twisted and scares the shit out of some of us! Check out one of his episodes!

She should just walk around nekkid!

When you're Parasite Hilton choosing your Halloween costume comes easy. You can either be a slutty devil, a slutty vampire or a slutty cave girl! Looks like she went with this latter for this Halloween party. Ewww, and she doesn't even have the decency to wipe the jizz off of her stomach before going out in public!



Nicky was the more classy of the two as usual and covered her shit up. I love how Parasite's mosquito bites are hanging out from the bottom.



[JJB]

Madge Quote of the Day

On Gwen Stefani:

"She ripped me off. We work with a lot of the same people.

"She married a Brit, she's got blonde hair and she likes fashion.

"But I don't mind. I think she's very sweet and talented."

Heath Ledger is a daddy!

Heath Ledger's girlfriend, Michelle Williams gave birth to a baby girl yesterday in NYC. The couple named their baby Matilda Rose Ledger.

Matilda? Ewww, well looks like the trend of naming your baby after 80yo grandmothers hasn't ended.


[Heath Baby]

Dakota Fanning campaigns for the role of a lifetime!

45yo actress, Dakota Fanning hit Los Angeles for a fundraiser dressed as Scarlett O'Hara. The role she was born to play! Ok, ok it's Halloween but you know she has ulterior motives. I bet you the entire night she spoke with a Southern accent and recited lines from the movie.

Me thinks some of her favorites are:

"Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar. " "Ooh, if I just wasn't a lady, WHAT wouldn't I tell that varmint. "

Dakota is the most powerful woman in Hollywood! Expect to see in announcement in Variety naming Dakota as Scarlett and Tom Cruise as Rhett in a remake of Gone with the Wind!



Her sister Elle went as Mary Poppins. She's so much cuter than Dakota.



I think a photographer just shouted "Dakota, your sister is cuter than you!" She didn't like that shit. It left a sour taste in her mouth. Hmm...expect Ella's career in Hollywood to be over before it started.



[JJB]

Fendi turned 80 and the freaks came out!

The Crypt-keeper himself, Karl Lagerfeld held a Birthday/Halloween bash for Fendi in NYC last night. And many of NYC's elite came out in force looking the mess.

NYC's favorite tranny, Amanda Lepore, showed up looking rather demure. Her fucking tits look like there should be pink, shredded coconut on them. Like fucking snowballs. But trust me those are definitely not cream-filled!



Fashion designer Zac Posen went as some kind of fox hunter I guess. Or maybe a white-fox fisherman. Yeah, that's it!



I have no idea who this slut is, but she makes a terrible Rainbow Bright. She's like a fucking stuck-up UES socialite trying desperately to be cool.



No it's not Kelly Osbourne, it's not even Jack Osbourne! But looks like a fucking morph of the two. Whatever it is, it's not something I want to look at while eating.



But in the midst of all that plastic and ugliness, comes something pure. Ashley Olsen! She looks amazingly hot. Like a fucking goddess...



Especially standing next to this freak show. It isn't a wax-figure of Karl Lagerfeld, it's the eel himself. I think that silver glove is helping keep his wrist attached to his arms. Strangely, Ashley seems quite at home holding an anorexic, decaying creature.

Julia Roberts' marriage in the shit can?!

Reports are that Julia Roberts fled New Mexico to cry on the shoulder of a male friend in Seattle. Julia's three-year marriage to cameraman, Danny Moder, is apparently falling apart after she gave birth to their twins. Julia traveled with only one of her twins to Seattle while the other twin was at home ill with the nanny. Danny was on location working.

A family source said: "Julia felt so alone and she needed a shoulder to cry on. Who better than one of her best male friends?"

Julia's male best friend is environmental activist, Joel Clements.

Julia can't stay with one man for a long time. In the 80s she was like the biggest slut in Hollywood. But, I always had hope for this pair. They look so normal, so average. A little too normal. But, maybe Julia's vagina is getting the itch for new dick. And who can blame her?

[The National Enquirer]

Note to Self: Do not become Halle Berry

Oscar-winner Charlize Theron is apparently desperate to make amends with fellow Oscar-winner Halle Berry after insulting remarks were made again Halle by Charlize. But Charlize has insisted the comments did not come from her.

Charlize read an interview in which she was quoted as saying "Not to Self: Do not become Halle Berry" in reference to Halle's role choices after her Oscar win.

Charlize said: "That was a comment the writer made, and he said that I'd said it. That's not my style. I don't like that kind of cattiness. Women shouldn't go against women. . "I tried to make contact with her. I sent her flowers saying, 'I really want you to know I never said that,' and she never called back.

"I think Halle Berry is an incredible actress. I have no problem with the choices she's made. And she seems to be fine. She doesn't seem to be hiding under the floorboards. At the end of the day, we have to take responsibility for the choices we make. .

"If it doesn't work, at least I took the power in that situation. I'm sure Halle has done the same."

The thing is Charlize is completely right. Halle has only made shit movies since her Oscar win! Catwoman anyone? But I must say Gothika was hot shit. Let's hope for Charlize's sake, Aeon Flux isn't a fucking piece of shit or she'll look real stupid.

[Female First]

Nicky Hilton carrying some boxes...

Yeah Sundays always bring some major excitement...

She does have some huge Parasite feet though.





[JJB]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Julia Duffy

Birthday Sluts

Gavin Rossdale (38)
Eva Pigford (21)
Ivanka Trumt (24)
Mark and Michael Polish (35)
Nia Long (35)
Kevin Pollack (48)
Harry Hamlin (54)
Henry Winkler (60)