Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE: Below is the real celeb behind the picture!


LeeLee Sobieski

Jennifer Aniston topless?

I have never seen these pics, but apparently they've been floating around the internet for a while. It looks like Jennifer Aniston, but maybe it's not. It's basically Jen or a Jen look-a-like lounging topless on a beach eating a candy bar. Hot, huh?

Whoever it is, this bitch has some pointy-ass nipples! I personally cannot picture Rachel Green chillin' on a beach while snacking on a chocolate bar. Jen is too much of a frigid bitch for that kind of behavior!

Click to see her tits!










[Oh No They Didn't]

A black Parasite Hilton

Yup, that's Tyra Banks channeling our favorite cum-guzzling slut for a special Halloween episode of her shitty talk show. First of all, that wig looks a little too good for Parasite. She should've added a few loads of jizz in it for authenticity.

Anna Nicole will be watched by "Big Brother"

Anna Nicole Smith sparked a bidding war between 2 UK reality shows. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and Celebrity Big Brother both battled to have the reality star grace their shows with her drunkenness and huge tits.

Anna decided she'd rather hang out in a house and smoke all day than rough it in the wilderness. She will soon begin taping Celebrity Big Brother in England. Too bad they don't air that mess here.

I'd love to see Anna take a shit! Did I just say that?

[Female First]

Kelly Osbourne WITHOUT a girdle!

Kelly Osbourne celebrated her 21st birthday yesterday and she decided not to cinch her waist to 22inches. She honestly doesn't look that bad. I don't care for her ass, but she's looking better than she did a few weeks ago. And why shouldn't the bitch wear a tiara, it's her birthday? And she does want to be a princess right?



Ok I take it back. She looks ga-ross.



But Sharon looks worst! Somebody hasn't been to the surgeon's table lately!?! Ozzy's still trying to figure out where the fuck he is.



[Lime-Light]

Beyonce's got a baby Jay-Z in the oven?

At the opening of Jay-Z's sports club 40/40 in Atlantic City, Beyonce was reportedley heard telling a friend that she's knocked up. But Beyonce was also seen drinking tons of champagne. So either she's not preggers or she's starting out motherhood in a shitty way.

Me thinks this isn't true. Beyonce is set to start shooting Dreamgirls in January and she says this is the dream role of a lifetime for her. So I doubt she would jeapordize this opportunity.

Besides, her ass would balloon up, fucking explode and kill millions of innocent people if she got pregnant.

[Page Six]

Kfed spends more of Brit Brit's money!

Kfed visited a Ed Hardy store and dropped more of his wife's cash. I had no idea what Ed Hardy was, so I had to google it. It's just some clothing/biker store. Nothing impressive. He's such a piece of trash! I love how the cigarette is just hanging out of his mouth. He's showing some major trailer-trash colors. Dude, this marriage is going to end any second.

On the subject, one of my hot readers sent me in a truly hilarious book. It's a fictitious version of Brit Brit and Kfed's baby book. Everyone knows I can't read, but this shit was easy and I finished it in 20 minutes flat! I'm so accomplished! So check it out for more Brit Brit and Kfed bashing!









[JJB]

Jackie Stallone has the face of a killer!

We all know how scary Jackie Stallone is. Her face was meant to play a vicious, sociopathic killer. And Gallery of the Absurd completely got it down. You know if you saw this woman come at you with a knife, you'd have a heart attack on the spot! But she can read your ass while she butchers you!



[Gallery of the Absurd] [Thanks to Gabsmash]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

This is the only time you'll see Sigfried OR Roy smile when confronted wiht a faceful of pussy. - Anonymous 3:45pm

[Thanks to Kim S]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Irene Cara

Birthday Sluts

Finola Hughes (45)
Ben Foster (25)
Tracee Ellis Ross (33)
Gabrielle Union (33)
Winona Ryder (34)
Rufus Sewell (38)
Randy Jackson (44)
Kate Jackson (57)
Richard Dreyfuss (58)
Melba Moore (60)

Why is Jordan fucking her cell phone?!?

What the hell is she thinking? OMG, she has to be drunk. Everyone knows Jordan is a slut, but come on? She's going to stoop that low? Maybe she's trying to find her signal?







[M90] [Thanks to Bangin-in-Bangkok]

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE:

Below are the three lovely men behind this pic!


Ryan Reynolds on eyes, Viggo Mortensen on nose and Jimmy Fallon on mouth!

Congrats to Kristi for being the first to get it right!

Shirley MacLaine Quote of the Day

"I've never done a line of cocaine and I've smoked two reefers in my whole life and ate the furniture in the hotel room. That stuff is not good for your figure."

So this is how Tori does it!

She's a fucking witch! And she uses her laser eyes to hypnotize men into falling for her ass. And buying them loads of stuff probably doesn't hurt either.



[Lime-Light]

Krispy Kreme and Tequila!

And it could only belong to one slut...



That's right Parasite! I think she carries the Tequila around with her, because she needs some sort of disinfectant to clean her coochie with when she's about to put something in it. And the Krispy Kremes are just to fight the after taste.

Maddox is a playa!

Bradley Pitt picks up Maddox from school on Wednesday. Maddox has got it made. Notice how he doesn't even have to strain his muscles to get into that Rover. Even Brad's whipped on Maddox! Life is perfect!







[JJB]

Jack Osbourne is a chicken killer!

Kelly Osbourne claims that when they were little Jack murdered three chickens in a row, because they were bored! She says that ever since this happened, birds are still terrified of him!

She said: "He once murdered three chickens in a row when he was a kid.

"I'm sure birds can sense these things - when Jack goes near them now, they fly in the other direction."

I think Kelly is totally missing the point. The birds are flying away from her ass, because she looks like the kind of animal that would catch them at eat em' raw!

[Teen Today]

Lenny Kravitz's bathroom is a shitty mess!

Lenny Kravitz's SoHo loft is causing lots of problems for residents in his building. So much so that he's been hit with a lawsuit by one of his neighbors. The neighbor claims that his apartment was ruined when flooded by Lenny's blocked up toilet.

And this isn't the first time. Last year, the same shit (literally) happened to another neighbor of Lenny's.

What the fuck is he stuffing down his toilet? Or the bigger question is, wtf he is eating?!

Oh and if you want to purchase Lenny's apartment which comes with a shitty toilet, all can be yours for $12.4 Million!

[Monsters and Critics]

Nicole Richie doesn't even look at her plate!

She shouldn't even bother ordering food! That's such a waste! Homeless people would eat that shit.



[Hollywood Rag]

I thought she hated being pregnant?

Brooke Shields is preggers with her 2nd child! Let's hope the second time around is easier on her. She has a 2 year old daughter and wrote a book on her difficult struggle with motherhood. Tom Cruise then famously attacked Brooke for using anti-depressants to get over her severe post-partum depression following the birth of her daughter.

Brooke girl, get yourself some therapy before you have this baby. I don't want to see the hot chick from The Blue Lagoon doing anything stupid!

[Page Six]

Sulu loves dick!

Actor George Takei has come out of the closet! George played Sulu on Star Trek for 3 seasons as well as doing 6 movies.

George said: "The world has changed from when I was a young teen feeling ashamed for being gay,"

"The issue of gay marriage is now a political issue. That would have been unthinkable when I was young."

It has been known that George was gay in Hollywood circles. He's been with the same dude for 18 years!

Happy coming out George! Now get Tom involved!

[Yahoo News]

How to make yourself look hot!

Pose next to Haylie Duff! She looks extra rough in this pic!

[Thanks to DobryDen]

The Dlisted Report

Michael Vartan and Radha Mitchell will star in Rogue for The Weinstein Co. The film, about a giant crocodile stalking tourists in the Australian outback, will shoot Down Under. Pre-production is reportedly taking place in Port Melbourne. [Coming Soon]

Hayden Christensen, Guy Pearce and Jimmy Fallon will all join Sienna Miller in Factory Girl. The film is based on Andy Warhol's muse, Edie Sedgwick. Shootings starts this January. [Empire Online]

Jack Black has signed on to the film Holiday. Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet currently star. The the film focuses on a friendship that crops up between an American woman and a British woman, both of whom have been recently dumped. Black will play a film composer who becomes friendly with Winslet's character after she settles temporarily in L.A. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

At last Paris Hilton can reveal to the world the real reason she slept with everyone in Hollywood and introduces her Bottled Baby Batter to much fanfare at the 2006 Gay Pride Parade. - Infobitch

[Thanks to Zakaja]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Salad Fingers

[For Pamboy]

Birthday Sluts

Joaquin Phoenix (31)
Justin Guarini (27)
Julia Roberts (38)
Jamie Gertz (40)
Lauren Holly (42)
Bill Gates (50)
Jane Alexander (66)
Joan Plowright (76)

Say Something Nice

Ashlee Simpson: Um...Er...she has a perfect tongue for muffin diving!

Talk about fatherly love!

That's the White Sox manager, Ozzie Guillen getting down and dirty with his son! Awww...they love each other! Shit, I don't even kiss my mom like that! He has his eyes closed and everything!



[Oh No They Didn't]

Break the light bulbs and fire up the crack pipe!

KATE MOSS is out of rehab!

Her modeling agency confirms that Kate Moss checked out sometime this week and is visiting "friends in the US. You know one of those friends is a crack house in Tarzana, CA.

[People]

Did Hilary lose her tits?

Hilary Duff used to have some sort of boobage, right? When she lost weight, did her breasts melt away? Or maybe that's just a padded bra. Damn she used to have a fat face!



[Pic on right: Hollywood Tuna]

Affleck's sexy stache!

Damn he looks sexy hot with that stache! I think it's for a movie, but let's just say it ain't. Let's just say Garner asked him to grow that because she likes the way it tickles her butt cheeks. You know pregnant women in kinky!





[JJB]

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE: And here are the real celebs!


Gabrielle Union on eyes, Halle Berry on nose and Jada Pinkett Smith on mouth!

Congrats to Kelly for being the 1st to get it right!

Kiki is driznuk!

There were rumors that Kiki Dunst was so shit-faced at the premiere party for Elizabethtown that she shocked her friends! Well pics don't lie, and here's our favorite saggy-booby looking quite fucked up. Bitch is an alcoholic! Expect her in rehab in the next 15 days.









[Lime-Light]

Thongshorts are going to sweep the Nation!

And the fact that this model is cross-eyed is even a bigger selling point for me!



[Goldenfiddle]

This is a hot Halloween costume!

I seriously need a hot costume this year. What are you guys going to be? Something tasteless is always the best!

[Viceland] [Thanks to JulieP]

Note to Angie: I'm up for adoption!

Angie Jolie told the audience at The Worldwide Orphans Foundation Benefit in NYC that she wanted to adopt again. She has realized this since becoming a mom to Maddox, age 4 and Zahara, 9 months.

She said: "Most of the night I just thought about how quickly I want to adopt again. It's a very special thing. There's something about making a choice, waking up and traveling somewhere and finding your family."

Traveling somewhere and finding your family? Angie, you don't have to travel far to adopt your next kid! I'm perfect! I'm multi-racial, I'm almost potty-trained and I love drinking white substances out of Cylindrical shapes. And I don't like walking, so you can carry me around as much as you want!

[People]

MK heart MM

MK Olsen and her X-boyfriend, David Katzenburg were out and about in Bev Hills the other day. She had her signature coffee in tow, but looked a "little" healthier. But she still has powder face!

Vintage Brit Brit for a Thursday Afternoon!

This is my favorite Brit Brit pic of all-time!

[Thanks to JasonC]

Parasite changes her tune!

Parasite Hilton is changing her tune after she earlier denied ever meeting Tom Sizemore. She now says that she HAS met him, but never fucked him.

She released this statement:

"We never said she never met him. She never slept with him and he's not an acquaintance of hers.

"She doesn't even know who that other girl in the photo is. To me, 'acquaintance' means that you're not friends; you've met in the past but that's pretty much it. She doesn't remember the party at all."

She doesn't remember the party, because she was fucked up and too busy getting Tom's baby batter blown in her pupils! And she doesn't remember that girl, because she never saw her face! Just her vagina! God, sluts have the memory of a goldfish!

[Contact Music]

Quick! Get that pony another bale of hay!

My Little Pony Parker wants to put weight on her beautiful figure, because she thinks she's too skinny.

She said: "I'm always trying to put weight on" .

"I'm an eater - and I love junk food. I'm going to wake up one day and I'll be triple my size and I'll say, 'Ha, the joke's on me!'".

"There's all this emphasis on losing weight after a baby. Look at Posh Spice! It's not easy to take off weight after giving birth. Do what's good for you and your child!".

Um...MLP, how do you think Posh lost all that weight? Probably the same way you lost your baby weight!

MLP went on to say that some of her favorite things to eat are "sugarcubes" and "carrots."

[Monsters and Critics]

Gay Al Reynolds gets rammed in prison orgy!

Ok not really, but once you read this you know it happened!

Al Reynolds, wife of Star Jones was arrested at 3am Wednesday morning for driving under a suspended license. The popo pulled Al over on the Upper East Side section of Manhattan after he made an illegal lane change.

GAL spent nearly 12 hours in the police station, mostly because the fingerprinting machine broke! HA! Um...yeah right. He spent 12 hours, because that's how long it took for each prisoner and officer to get a piece!

A spokeswhore for the popo said: "Al Reynolds was detained last night and issued a desk appearance ticket for a driving-license suspension due to incorrect DMV paperwork."

Star Jones never made an appearance. Dayum, Al...take some ice to that ass. If you don't, your ass lips could fall off. And that wouldn't be pretty!

[People] [Thanks to Kristin & Grace]

And now he's back in my arms again!

Keira Knightley dumped her male-model boyfriend Jamie Doran months ago, but now she's run back to his ass! I would too, he's hot shit! Keira is a terrible actress, but at least she has hot taste in men!

Brad Pitt takes to the skies for Angie!

Is he doing this shit just for her?









[JJB]

Nice move Depp!

Let's celebrate! Our party girl is coming back! Kate Moss will soon be released from rehab in Arizona. Johnny Depp who used to date Kate Moss gave her a strange gift to celebrate this momentous occasion. He gave her a mirror.

Depp who is part Cherokee gave her the mirror to face herself without fear which is an old Indian belief.

Um..is it smart to give someone a mirror after they just left rehab for cocaine addiction?

[Monsters and Critics]

Nic Cage explains why he ruined his son's life!

Nicolas Cage has told reporters why he named his baby boy, Kal-El after fucking Superman!

He said: "We wanted a name that was exotic, was American and stood for something good. So Kal-el was a name we came up with, and then Kal for short".

Kal-El sounds like a fucking Iranian cab company! I'd fucking hate my parents forever if they gave me that name. Kal is hot, but add the El and suddenly you're an airline.

Nic also confessed his love for his money-grubbing wife, Alice.

"I don't think I could have done my last two or three movies if she wasn't there.

"I never really experienced that kind of support. It was the perfect dynamic to bring a child into the world"

Duh! If some old, rich man was buying me some Prada and shit..I'd sit there and support his ass too. How hard is it to say "Honey, you're good" when you have 14k diamond earrings on!?

[Entertainmentwise]

Ewwww SPF must have severe diarrhea!

Brit Brit Spears is sick and tired of Kfed's constant wanderings and won't take it lying down! A source says that last week while Brit Brit was changing her baby's diapers, Kfed went out to get his hair braided for 2 hours. Ewww, it took her 2 hours to change his diapers? Either that bitch is stupid or SPF's ass has exploded!

Brit Brit is also being non-supportive on Kfed's singing career. He recently brought home some music he's been working on and played it for her.

A source said: "His efforts were greeted with hurtful laughter from his superstar wife, who was unimpressed."

"“She said his debut CD might sell a hundred, maybe a thousand,’ copies if he was lucky."

A hundred? Does he have THAT many relatives?

[The Scoop]

Haven't we seen this before?

Plot: A Terrence Malick-scripted drama about explorer John Smith and the clash between Native Americans and English settlers in the 17th century.

Stars: Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Christopher Plummer, Q'Orianka Kilcher & Irene Bedard
Directed by: Terrence Malick

Due: December 25, 2005

The Dlisted Report

Darren Afronsky (Requiem for a Dream) has agreed to direct an episode of Lost to air during May sweeps. Darren is currently finishing up work on The Fountain starring Hugh Jackman. [Coming Soon]

Lindsay Lohan is the latest name to board Emilio Estevez's Bobby, an independent feature about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. She will join an all-star cast that includes Anthony Hopkins, Demi Moore, Sharon Stone, Elijah Wood, Nick Cannon and Freddy Rodriguez. Lohan plays a woman who marries her boyfriend's brother (Wood) to keep him from going to Vietnam, only to fall in love with him. Shooting begins next week in Los Angeles. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Danny Glover will play Marty Madison in the big-screen version of Dreamgirls directed by Bill Condon. The film will star Beyonce Knowles, Anika Noni Rose, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy. Shooting begins in January. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

Ok, this contest was the hottest one yet. I couldn't choose just 1, so I've decided to choose my top 3!

Grand Prize:

Although she doesn't allow magazines, tv or icecream, Madonna is much more liberal when it comes to family Halloween costumes.- Jeff

First Place:

"And what do you call your act?"
"The ARISTOCRATS!"- Rob Neville

Second Place:

Young Jessica Simpson plays with Papa Joe's spirit stick. - Katja



[Thanks to James G]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Richard Dean Anderson

[For Liz]

Birthday Sluts

Simon Le Bon (47)
Kelly Osbourne (21)
Patrick Fugit (23)
Vanessa Mae (27)
Matt Drudge (38)
Scott Weiland (38)
Marla Maples (42)
Roberto Benigni (53)
John Cleese (66)
Ruby Dee (81)

Jennifer Aniston to make a move?

Is Jennifer Aniston moving to Chicago to be closer to her new beau, Vince Vaughn? Vince has begged Jenny to move to his hometown, because their relationship is getting more serious.

A source close to her said: "A huge lifestyle change is what she needs right now. She's so over L.A. Everywhere she looks she's reminded of her years with Brad and that's a downer."

She makes so much more sense in Chicago than L.A. But me thinks she won't do it. Her Malibu house is fucking hot. And besides she should fuck around more. Get her vagina back in the game.

[National Enquirer]

Joan Van Ark eats human flesh!

by Lahoma00

Now that I am over my Juice Newton obsession, my new celebrity fascination is Joan Van Ark. Look at how scary this bitch is!



She used to be really hot though. Look at her in the picture below. She's a powerful business woman! This is the kind of woman that Michael K and I try to model ourselves after, as we are true professionals.



I have a really hot T-Shirt though that I got off ebay, which says "I survived Cult Suicide AND Joan Van Ark!"

HoHan was on death's door!

HoHan told Ok! Magazine that she almost died after she was hospitalized due to her excessive weight loss due to stress. Yeah stress.

She said: "I was going through a lot of stuff and overworking and not thinking of my body. I was going through that phase that everyone goes through.

"I lost, like, 20-25 lbs. I was on IV drips. I nearly died!"

She's such a fucking drama queen. You can't die from losing 20lbs.

Didn't she say the reason for her weight loss was because she finally started being healthy? She's a fucking liar!

She also said that she's sick of going out so much. Yeah I think we heard that same shit from Parasite!

"I'd rather go on a hike and go camping than go out to a club now."

Go camping? OMG, she's such a bad liar! At least say shopping, that we'd be believe!

[Ananova]

Janet Jackson denies she's a mother!

This past weekend, news broke that Janet Jackson had a secret daughter that is 18 and now living with her sister Rebbie. The brother of James DeBarge told a radio station that when Janet was married to James they had a daughter. The Jackson family was so ashamed that they hid her away.

Janet finally came forward and denied all claims. She said: "I do not have a child and all allegations saying so are false,"

A picture of Janet's possible daughter, surfaced earlier this week on the internet.



That looks like Rebbie! And of course Janet is going to deny this shit. This shit ain't true. The DeBarge bitches are just trying to jump start their careers. Who's Holding Donna Now was a hot jam, though.

[E! Online]

Nicollette and her dude split!

Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan and her Fiancee Nicklas Soderblom have called it a day!

Her spokeswhore issued the following statement: "Nicollette Sheridan and Nicklas Soderblom have parted ways after a year and a half," "They ask that you respect their privacy at this time."

I love how they ask for privacy, but they fucking announce their relationshipp issues. She can hit the singles bars with Teri Snatcher now!

[People]

He's totally thinking about me!

[JJB]

Guess the Celebriti

UPDATE: Below are the real celebs!



Portia De Rossi on eyes, Sarah Jessica Parker on nose and Felicity Huffman on mouth!

Congrats to shelliebeane for being the 1st to get it right!

The biker and the librarian

That bitch is going to pop any day now! She's huge! Affleck needs a bath. Maybe once her water pops he can use that fluid to clean up his face!



[Lime-Light]

Kiki wants to get freaky with Patricia Arquette!

Kiki Dunst told InStyle Magazine that she has a crush on Patricia Arquette.

She said: "I have a girl crush on her. She's a real woman - she's not anorexic or perfectly tanned.

"She's not trying to be anything but what she is, and that's the most sexy thing."

Kiki also praised her own ugly looks. She thinks her fucked up teeth are hot:

"That's one of the things I like about me. Messed-up teeth are so sexy."

Patricia Arquette? Out of all the chicks to have crushes on, you choose her? That's so Kiki!

[Ananova]

OMG Kimbo's sister is a million times hotter!

Poor Kimberly Stewart, her sister Ruby seems to have sucked all the good genes from her! Ruby knows it too. Look how she's posing. Kimbo has to work for her shot, Ruby just sits back and lets her ugly sister make her look even hotter!



[Thanks to DobryDen]

HoHan gets injected!

HoHan showed off her new lips in Los Angeles on Monday night. What is wrong with her? Those look like tuna lips! Her skin is super blotchy too, but it's the lips that bother me. Just when she starts to get things right with the hair color and boobs, she goes and does that! She wants us to dislike her ass!







[Lime-Light]

I got news for Jordan, she looks like 70 now!

Jordan will never get old, she says! Jordan is one of the hottest women in the world, but she's dumb as nails! I think they used her brain to stuff her chest! She says that when she is 70 she'll fucking look like she she's in her 20s! LOL!!

She said: "I would never want to grow old gracefully. I'd still want to look like I was in my twenties.

"I'm sure there will be some new inventions to help people look younger as well, you don't know what will be around then.

"You will never see me with grey hair, I will dye it if I go grey."

Doesn't she look like a drag queen doing Paula Abdul in that picture?

[Ananova]

Did Dannii Minogue win an ice-skating competition?

WTF?! That's a hot Halloween costume though, can I borrow that shit?



[Pic: Hollywood Tuna]

Angie's brother is totally a serial killer..

Either that or he loves wearing women's panties. His eyes scare me. Angelina looks super-duper hot.

Pamela Anderson will be broke soon..

Why? She's retiring her tits!

She said: "I'm 38 and I don't need to get it out any more.

"My mom told me I've got beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile, that's what a man wants to see."

We don't want to see your eyes or your smile! We want to see those hooters! Especially now, because they are all mangled and shit! Maybe she doesn't want to get them out, cause they look like hell.

I actually like that show Stacked, but only for one reason: Her tits!

[Contact Music]

Is Michelle Williams constipated?

Is Katrina pretty, y'all?

Brit Brit Spears was apparently devastated by the whole Hurricane Katrina thing. Brit Brit couldn't get a hold of any of her relatives in Louisiana for 4 days after the hurricane.

Jamie Lynn Spears said: "When Katrina hit, I was home with my mom and some of my aunts, but Britney and Kevin were in LA and weren't able to talk to them for about four days. That was hard. ."It's really scary not being able to call your family and let them know you're OK." .

Whatever, this bitch doesn't even know what Katrina is. She thinks it's a new denim line at Kitson. She was way to busy fighting with Kfed to even think about that shit!

[Female First]

Looks like Tom's PR reps are hard at work!

Please..like this is really true. Apparently Nicole Kidman is DEVASTATED by news that Kate Cruise is pregnant. Rumors are circulating that Nicole still has feelings for Tom and is having trouble dealing with all this Katie shit.

A friend of Nicole's said: "Nicole can't believe it's happening. It was so sudden she shut down. Obviously she must still have feelings for Tom, she's been crying and has been really upset". "This baby means Katie Holmes will be in Tom's life forever Nicole always cherished the special bond adopting gave her and Tom Now he will share that bond with Katie".

How can she be so distraught when that marriage was a sham as well? I think Tom's people are going a little overboard with this shit. I think Nicky could care less about that shit.

Remember the rumor that Nicky was preggers with Ewan McGregor's baby, but had a miscarriage? And that was the real reason for her sudden divorce? I sooo want to believe that rumor.

[Tonight]

Blind Item...So easy!

Here's one of Ted Casablanca's blind items over at E!

If I were you, I wouldn't invite Jordache Junky to your son's bar mitzvah. She might lure him into a stairwell and do him.

Now, don't get me wrong, girlfriends. Most boys would be thrilled to get into J2's prissy undies. I mean, she's been in, like, a million movies, many of which young boys just worship.

That's why I can't believe what she pulled at a Hollywood bash last week. Gulp. There's no delicate way to put it, so here goes: J.J. banged a cater-waiter. And she didn't take him home in a doggie bag. Nope, J.J. jumped this dude's bones in the damn stairwell.

If you think it sounds sexy in an Unfaithful kinda way, hold yer Trojans. She was wasted. And while most of the gals her age dig cocaine, J2's more of a, well, horse girl. Yep, she was smacked out. Poof.

Oh, Jordache. I'm sorry 'bout all yer on-and-off relationship woes. I'm also sad for yer latest flicks--which fail on a lotta freakin' levels. But really, honey. A catering dude in a stairwell at an Industry party?!

The above shoulda been the stuff on which porn movies are based--not some sad little episode that had the guy's colleagues nodding their heads in pitiful tsk-tsks. I hear nobody even broke a damn sweat! What kind of friggin' sex act is that--something George and Laura do?

Now, I know you're not friends with Paris Hilton. But maybe you should be?

So Brittany Murphy, right?

Roth is the new Stern

Former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth has been confirmed as Howard Stern's replacement. David will be taking over that time slot on January 3rd when Howard and company make a shift to Sirius Radio.

David told Howard: "You've built quite an empire here, and I'd like to think that they've saved it for the best guy. It will be a very interesting adventure."

Howard is making the move to satellite radio, because he wanted the freedom to say whatever it is he wants.

David will serve East Coast markets while comedian Adam Corrolla will pick up West Coast markets.

This is better for Howard's ass. He was getting into lots of trouble for his antics and comedy. At least he basically can do whatever he wants now. Do you have to pay for Sirius? That sucks. I hope he keeps throwing more bologna at hot ass!

[E Online]

Parasite Hilton is not only a slut, but a liar too!

Tom Sizemore confesses to sleeping with a teenaged Paris Hilton on his new sex DVD from Vivid Video. He claims that he had a party in his house and after all the guests had left, Paris stayed behind and the two got down to business.

Shortly after this confession, Parasite issued a statement that she has never slept with Tom Sizemore, shit she hasn't even met him. But a photo of a teenage Paris and Tom surfaced yesterday all over the internet. The photo was taken at Tom's home.

Shit, I think the girl on the left disturbs me more than the news that Paris is a liar. Anybody that claims to have banged her ass, I believe!

[Story: Page Six] [Pic: Nothing But Pink Socks]

Tyra Banks hates her body!

Tyra tore herself apart recently on her own talk show. She said:

"My eyebrows are too far apart. "I'd love to have longer eyelashes and a wider smile, like Julia Roberts or Cameron Diaz. My mouth is small and tight. My calves are nonexistent, so I rarely wear skirts or shorts. And I have cellulite, not just on my booty, but on my arms. saw it in the elevator with overhead lighting, and I was like, 'Oh my gosh, in my arms?'"

Cellulite on her arms? Why didn't she show us that shit when she was busy showing us her titty ultrasound!

Speaking of her talk show. Rumor has it that it won't last the season. Critics hate and the ratings are in the dumps. Well, she always has Top Model.

[Vogue]

This shit will not be hot!

Plot: In the tragic aftermath of the 1972 Munich Olympics, a Mossad agent (Bana) tracks Palestinian terrorists who assassinated Israeli athletes.

Stars: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig & Geoffrey Rush
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Due: December 23, 2005

The Dlisted Report

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are teaming up for a feature film called Grind House. Each director will each take on an hour-segment in this horror film. Shooting will start soon in Texas for a Spring 2006 release. John Jarratt of Wolf Creek fame has already been cast. [Coming Soon]

Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) will direct the Neil Gaman fairy tale Stardust. Gaiman's novel, first published in 1997 as "Stardust: Being a Romance Within the Realms of Faerie," is set in a town in the English countryside where the magical and mortal mix. The story is centered on a young man who promises his beloved that he'll retrieve a fallen star by venturing into the magical realm, where he has to contend with witches, goblins, gnomes, talking animals and evil trees. Matthew is also writing the script. [Variety]

Aaron Eckhart has signed alongside Catherine Zeta-Jones in a remake of the German film Mostly Martha. Zeta-Jones plays the frosty chef Martha James, who's stunned when her sister dies and leaves a 10-year-old daughter in her care. She also finds herself sharing her kitchen with a charming up-and-coming chef (Eckhart). Their chemistry grows beyond a culinary level. Production is set to begin soon. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Destiny's Child rehearses for their 25th Anniversary Special. - Kelly

[Thanks to Rich]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Kendra Wilkinson from E!'s Girls Next Door

Birthday Sluts

Dylan McDermott (44)
Jon Heder (28)
Anthony Rapp (34)
Natalie Merchant (42)
Cary Elwes (43)
Rita Wilson (47)
Hillary Rodham Clinton (58)
Jaclyn Smith (58)
Bob Hoskins (63)

You have to...

...MAKE-OUT with one of them. Which one?

I'll take my chances with Jaws..

Kate Moss' replacement...

H&M has replaced Kate Moss with model Mariacarla Boscono in TV commercials for the new Stella McCartney line at the store. Yeah and I'm sure this one doesn't even know what cocaine looks like!

[Yahoo News]

The Photoshop Awards: Madge

This is the cover and artwork for her upcoming album due to hit stores in November. Retouchers were working overtime for this shit. At least they didn't omit the Kabbalah bracelet. Those are wicked shoes though...













[Drowned World]

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE: There's the real celebs below!



Rebecca DeMornay on eyes, Brooke Burke on nose and Parker Posey on mouth!

Congrats to Z for being the 1st one to get it!

Jude Law needs to take a bath!

He looks so fucking greasy. I used to think he was hot like 3 years ago and lately he just looks like he dipped himself into a jar of Crisco. That shirt is hot though.





[Lime-Light]

Juice Newton!

How many of you remember this slut? I love her! I totally forgot about her until they talked about her on I love the 80s last night. Share your memories of Juice!

Angie puts a bottle in Zahara!

Angie Jolie and family went shopping in NYC yesterday. Zahara looks hot and Maddox is so pissed that he has to walk. He's totally going to get his revenge on Angie.

Wentworth Miller loves to nail boy ass!

Yup, it's true. Prison Break star Wentworth Miller loves dick! He was seen at a recent T-Mobile party holding hands with another dude. But several bitches have told me they know for a fact he's a homersexual. But, he's a homersexual of the top kind. Meaning he likes to nail ass! One stupid bitch e-mailed me to tell me that they met him through Craigslist. Now I don't believe that shit, but I totally believe that he loves to add fudge to his vanilla popsicle!

He's still hot!

[A Socialite's Life]

Rosa Parks is dead at 92!

[Boston News]

OMG! This is the funniest shit I've ever read!

How much does it cost to get Star Jones to an eating-contest? Radar fucking called Star Jones's agent to get the answer. This shit is HILARIOUS! The shit about Gay Al is priceless!

Read:

RADAR: Hi, this is David Steven calling about Star Jones making an appearance at the Short Hills Country Club in New Jersey.

Her appearance fee is $25,000. She also needs a car from New York. This is just for a meet-and-greet?

No, it’s our annual ‘Bring in the Fall’ gala. We’d like her to give a speech about why fall is the best season. Last year Leonard Nimoy did 25 minutes.

On that topic? Well, if you’re willing to write it, make it as long as you need.

Would she dine with the guests?

I don’t know if she’d sit through a whole dinner.

How much would it cost for us to have her for the entire dinner?

Could she come for the cocktails, dine backstage, then come out for the speech? It’s hard to chitchat when you’re about to get up and give a speech.

Let’s say we do the speech before dinner.

Okay. Better.

Would she come alone, or does she go everywhere with the people from The View?

No, she’d probably be either by herself or with her husband or assistant.

Now, there is a casino theme. What would it cost us to have her work as the guest dealer?

Oh, probably another 10 or so.

So, $35,000?

Probably. Yeah.

Would she dance?

No. I mean, she might, but I wouldn’t put that in a contract.

The dancing would cost more?

No, no. [Laughs] How can you predict if somebody’s going to feel like dancing?

Well, I mean, we’re paying her to speak for half an hour.

She doesn’t get paid to dance.

She won’t dance with her husband?

She might. But what if she’s not with her husband? She might come with just her assistant.

Would she dance with her assistant?

No.

Alone?

I wouldn’t even ask that question. [Laughs]

What if we added another $10,000?

If you want to add that into the offer, you can. It’s an odd request.

So we’re up to $45,000. A half-hour speech with dancing.

Possibly.

Would we have to pay extra to have her husband there?

Yes.

How much would her husband cost?

I don’t represent him, but I understand he gets around $10,000 for an appearance. He has his own career.

What does he do?

You got me. I’ll make it really easy: Make her an offer at $50,000 and say, "In exchange for this we would expect the following: a) 30-minute speech, b) dinner with guests, c) bringing her husband, Al Reynolds, and dancing, d) participating as a celebrity guest dealer," or, you know, whatever.

At the end of the night, there’s also an eating contest. It’s paella. What are the chances we can get her involved in that?

In an eating contest?

It’s tastefully done.

I’d leave that out of the mix. She’s just lost over 100 pounds. I don’t think she wants to get into an eating contest.

Let’s say it’s fat-free sorbet.

Like a tasting thing?

Well, no. More of a speed-eating thing. Like, in half an hour, who can eat the most. Usually we do paella. But we could change it to fat-free sorbet, since she’s watching her weight.

You could request that, but I can’t guarantee she’ll want to do that.

Would she do it for another $20,000?

Hey, you know, [Laughs] it’s worth asking. But she doesn’t eat a lot, so I don’t know if she would want to be in a contest about eating as much as you can.

Would she eat at the party?

If she was expected to dine as part of this, she would. Yeah. She would eat.

She wouldn’t just play with the food on her plate?

No, no. She eats.

Let’s say there’s a brunch the next day.

What’s the date?

November 15.

That’s a weekday. She’s going to have to be on The View the next day.

Oh, I’m sorry, it’s actually the 19th. I was looking at the Spielberg event. Anyway, there’s a brunch…

You’re into another day now. She’s going to want another $20,000 or so.

What could we do to guarantee her coming to do all this stuff? Like, what kind of number are we talking?

Make a hundred-grand offer and I’ll get her to do everything on your list except strip.

Oh, we don’t want her to strip. Please, no.

I was kidding.

Would she sing a cappella at the brunch fully clothed?

Maybe. Sounds like an easy thing.

Arm wrestling?

Okay, now you’re messing with me.

No, I’m not. It’s just a fun thing we do, you know, to bring in the fall.

Arm wrestling? What else is coming at me?

That’s it. The dining with guests, the eating contest, working as a dealer, dancing, singing a cappella at brunch, and arm wrestling. So what’s the number? I want her to say yes.

I’d say $125,000.

And that’s with her husband…. What’s his name?

Al.

Not Al Roker?

No, Al Reynolds.

How did she lose her weight?

I cannot say.

Did she do what Al Roker did, or we don’t know?

She doesn’t talk about it publicly. She looks great. She will tell you it’s from diet. That’s why the eating contest is tough.

But for $125,000…

She’ll eat as much as she can…

Liz Hurley does more hatin'

Liz Hurley and Charlotte Lurch should get together and host a talk show called Haters where they just bash fellow celebrities. Liz has now focused her hatred on Sienna Miller. Jealous much?

She had this to say about Sienna's new shorter locks: "That's the thing about valuing trends above sexiness. "It exposes your flaws. That cut exposes the poor girl." .

Liz wants to be Alexis Carrington so bad!

With that said, I agree with her!

[Sky News]

Parasite Hilton gets nailed over a bathroom toilet!

Parasite Hilton and her newest f-buddy, Nachos, have been seen all around getting busy. Most recently she was at a Hollywood party when she and Nacho continued their make-out session in a fucking port-a-potty! Apparently they did all sorts of nasties in there. Disgusting! I don't even take a shit in one of those things!

A source said: "The pair spent the evening kissing and groping each other before sneaking into one of the loos to get frisky."

She is probably the sluttiest living human on this earth. She makes porn stars look like nuns!

[The Bosh]

Bradley Pitt AS Jesse James

Brad Pitt is busy filming his new movie The Assassination of Jesse James. That shit looks hot. Brad looks much better in these pics than when he's with Angie. He always looks so haggard when he's with her ass. Probably because she beats him.


[Click on images to enlarge]







[Lime-Light]

Fishsticks is preggers!

Fishsticks Paltrow basically confirmed that she's pregnant at a press conference.

Reporters asked her why her husband, Chris Martin had not joined her for the London premiere of Proof.

While she patted her stomach she said: "two Paltrows in the room"

I'm going to take a minute from bashing her and bash her movie. Has anybody seen this shit? I heard it was AWFUL and not even worth a Netflixin' to.

[Ireland Online]

Parasite's ass flap!

EWWWW! That's where she stores all her STD juices!


[Click image to enlarge]

[Cityrag] [Thanks to Courtney]

Watch Robbie shake his noodle!

All I can say is, WTF?! On his new website, Robbie Williams has a video where he basically is playing with his dick. And it's not that hot! WTF is he thinking? He's so weird, but I'd hit it like a million times over!

Watch it!

UPDATE - Click here to watch a BIGGER version of it! [Thanks to Sugar Walls]

[Oh No They Didn't] [Thanks to Warren]

She got them titties back!

HoHan showed us that her breasts are back. Too bad she looks like a hooker. Does she think that looks hot?

Club Mood hates black people!

Club Mood in Los Angeles has cancelled a birthday party for actress Gabrielle Union. Gabrielle claims that the owner only cancelled her party, because he found out she was black. Why does she think this? Because she says not only did he cancel it, but he added that he didn't realize she was black. He thought she was some other white celebrity and followed it up with that he doesn't want those kind of people in his club.

A pr rep wrote an e-mail to all her colleagues once hearing of this act of racism: "I want to make you all aware of this so you can discourage your celeb clients from going and also doing any events with him."

David Judaken who owns Club Mood issued the following response: "All the statements written in her e-mail are untrue. To say that this event was canceled over race or creed is hurtful and slanderous."

So did he ever say why he cancelled her party then? Did he not like her in Bring It On?

[Page Six]

Note to Kiki: Aniston will take your man!

Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal reunited the other night! They actually look kinda hot together. Jen needs a hot younger man to work her over so she can finally stop crying about that Brad shit. And she is a much better match for Toothy Tile than Kiki! But Jake likes the whole strap-on action and I'm sure Jenny is too prudish for that business!



"I don't wanna quit you!" - Jenny to Jake

Danny Bonaduce is an attention whore!

Danny Bonaduce was fired a few months ago from his radio gig in Los Angeles after he wouldn't get sober. He went to rehab and is currently being featured in a Vh1 reality show that is truly a train-wreck. He recently said that he's most happiest when he's in a fist fight. What an idiot.

"It's embarrassing, but I'm at my happiest when I'm getting punched in the face,"

"My 1991 brawl with a transvestite is still the classic. He was a big guy, so once I got him down, I kept decking him. Then I saw the cops and thought, 'Hmmm. Danny Partridge beating the shit out of a transvestite hooker. I should probably run.' I listened to my own high-speed pursuit on the stereo of my car after beating the shit out of a transvestite prostitute. That's bitchin'. "

If you love being punched in the face Danny, I'm sure there are enough bitter bitches (including myself) on this blog to do some serious damage to that already beaten-down face of yours!

[Page Six]

Why must Mischa Barton wear the ugliest dresses ever created?

[JJB]

Desperate Housewives spoilers!

Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives proved to be one of the best this season. The first few have been pretty boring and I want more drama and less comedy! Bree Van De Kamp in the hottest bitch ever! If you want to know what happens in the next few episodes click below.

Be spoiled!

2.06: I Wish I Could Forget You. Airs: 11/06/05
Mike and Susan face a crisis in their relationship. Susan tries to get Zach arrested by confessing to a police officer over him holding her hostage and trying to kill Mike. Edie is with Susan while she complains. The officer goes over to Mike Delfino to get the story, but Mike denies the whole thing, leaving Susan very dazed and confused. As Carlos continues serving his jail sentence, Gabrielle valiantly tries to free him. One of the housewives gets mixed up in a firefight. Another housewife goes to a hotel with her man, but requests they sleep in separate rooms. Lastyly, Paul Young returns in full view to the residents of Wisteria Lane.

2.07: Have It Your Way. Airs: 11/13/05
One of the housewives has trouble with a man sneaking around her house. The other people in the neighborhood are thinking of starting a neighborhood watch. Another housewife meets a man from the past, with whom she had a relationship once. Yet another housewife gets a warning from a strange woman, about the man she is dating.

2.08: I Must Be Dreaming. Airs: 11/20/05
Linda Dano, who starred in "Another World," "One Life to Live" and many other soaps, will play Francine, the mother of George, the creepy pharmacist who's in love with Bree and might have poisoned her husband, Rex. "They sort of left me to my own devices as to what to play," Dano said yesterday. "They wanted Francine to be dressed not high-end or low-end but somewhere in the middle. "She's a colorful woman, bigger than life who's got a big personality - and she's absolutely devoted to her boy."

2.09: The Natives are Restless. Airs: 11/27/05
One of the kids gets into a cage at the zoo. There's a cocktail party there too, with a polar bear. One of the housewives meets her birth father, who doesn't really want to get to know her. His current family isn't really open to meeting long-lost family. Another housewife cons her way into a psychiatric hospital, to get to Zach, who is admitted there. Carlos finds God while in prison, and Gabrielle is not too happy with this.

The Dlisted Report

Eva Longoria, Wayne Brady, Charlie Sheen, Chris Kattan & Christopher Lloyd will all be featured voices on the 3-D animated feature film Foodfight!. The project, aimed for a fall 2006 release as the first film from LGFE, takes place in a supermarket that comes to life after hours. Variety says the creators have acquired the rights to include nearly every consumer packaged goods company's characters such as Mr. Clean, Charlie the Tuna and Twinkie the Kid. [Variety]

The best-selling sci-fi video game Destroy All Humans will become a TV show. Fox will create the video game into a CGI half-hour comedy. Set in the 1950s, the third-person action game puts players into the bulbous gray head of Crypto 137, an alien who has landed on Earth and is intent on destroying it. The game takes a comic approach and spoofs '50s Hollywood B-movies. [The Hollywood Reporter]

A novel by Ryan Gattis called Kung Fu High School has been picked up by Weinstein Co. The novel revolves around a high school where the students matriculate in bloody martial-arts mayhem. Nicknamed Kung Fu High, the school is a prisonlike venue ruled by five gangs, each of which employs a stylized ancient Asian martial-arts discipline. The script is currently being written for Justin Lin to direct next year. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

"I doo doo!" - Castlebrity

Hot Slut of the Day!

Roz Ryan

Birthday Sluts

Adam Goldberg (35)
Ciara (20)
Josh Henderson (24)
Adam Pascal (35)
David Furnish (43)
Nancy Cartwright (48)
Helen Reddy (64)

Which Smurf are you?

In honor of Vanity Smurf being HSL of the Day..I took a little quiz on which smurf I was. And of course I end up with that bitch! figures! Take that shit and let me know what you guys got!


Find your inner Smurf!

WTF?!

Why did Dakota Fanning wear this headgear on Jay Leno? OMG she's so weird. You know she uses to communicate with the aliens.

Dpoll Results: Who has the most jizz in their stomach?

Probably the most disgusting poll, yet! And Parasite "came" out a champ! I really thought Clay was going to pull ahead. But I guess nobody can out-slut the mighty Ms. Hilton!

Thanks for voting y'all!

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE - Click here to see the real celebs!

Congrats to LA for getting that shit right!

Jacko is coming to get us!

These three pictures scared the shit out of me! I can't help but think that something sinister is going on in that hotel room! He's coming for me, I know it. If I saw that face in the middle of the night, I think my head would abandon my body like a fucking turtle!






[Lime-Light]

What is happening to Brittany Murphy's face?!

She has "vagina" lips on her face now!



[Oh No They Didn't]

When grown men cry: Tyson Beckford

Model turned actor, Tyson Beckford was on Oprah last week where he cried and cried about his car accident that almost killed his ass. What a bitch! Real men don't cry! Just kidding! Do you think you get a special present if you cry on Oprah?




Click here to see some nasty ass picture of him AFTER the accident!

Posh' mother looks younger than she does!

It's not Halloween yet!

Celine Dion's child is waiting to be born!

Celine Dion has told a French magazine that she is trying for a second child with her 63-year-old husband. Celine is currently 37. She plans to start plans for a new baby once she finishes her run at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.

"I'm approaching 40 years old, and I have to tend to that," Dion said. "This frozen embryo that is in New York is my child waiting to be brought to life."

Isn't that fucking hot?! Her baby is sitting in some freezer waiting to be given life. That's like a science-fiction movie! She is nuts!

[People]

Chloe Sevigny breast fed for years!

Chloe Sevigny isn't scared about that bird flu that is going around. I'm not scared of either, but for totally different reasons.

She said: "Doesn't avian flu affect old people more? I'm young and healthy. I have a strong constitution. My mother breast-fed me for years."

WTF?! I think she was telling a joke right? If she isn't, that's some nasty shit! You know she was some 4yo girl sucking on her mom's titty for leche! Gross bitch!

[Contact Music]

Oooo.....I'm gonna tell Madge!

Carlos Leon teaches the children how to respond to paparazzi. Is the no-ice-cream-eating, no-tv-watching, no-eyebrow-plucking mother of these two going to approve. Expect Carlos' allowance to be cut in half! And no TV for him for a WHOLE week!



[Pic: Cityrag]

Posh! Don't listen to the aliens!

Posh Beckham has become good friends with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. So much so that she's considering making a move into the Church of Scientology. Posh was seen reading 'Assists For Illnesses and Injuries', a healing handbook based on the works of the group's founder L Ron Hubbard.

Katie Holmes suggested the book to her after learning about their son, Romeo's recent illnesses.

Scientologists is for nerds Posh! At least join the Kabbalah..that's semi-cool compared to that piece of shit cult! Actually, let's get together and start our own cult. One where we shop all day, gossip, drink booze, chain smoke and listen to the works of Teri Hatcher and Eva LongWHORIA.

[Entertainmentwise] [Thanks to Stacy for pic]

I'll be your rock, George!

George Clooney don't do it! Georgey has confessed that he's considered doing himself in after just living the worst 12-months in his life! It all started with George suffering a brain injury on the set of his film Syriana. And to make matters worse his grandmother, brother-in-law and dog all passed away months apart from each other.

He told NPR in L.A.: "There was this scene where I was taped to a chair and getting beaten up and we did quite a few takes. The chair was kicked over and I hit my head.

"I tore my dura, which is the wrap around my spine which holds in spinal fluid. But it's not my back, it's my brain. I basically bruised my brain It's bouncing around my head because it's not supported by the spinal fluid".

"It's probably the worst year personally I have ever had My brother-in-law died of a heart attack aged 45; my grandma fell, broke her hip and died this summer And my dog got attacked by a rattlesnake and killed"

You still have me George! On one condition! I'm not into that gerbil shit! Oh that was Richard Gere, not you.

I love when these Hollywood-types "consider suicide." That probably just means he was considering flying coach.

[Guardian Limited]

Is Fishsticks knocked up?!

Rumors circulated in the past couple weeks that Fishsticks Paltrow was preggers with her second child. She has kept mum on whether she is or isn't. She has been photographed out and about in London wearing a coat and covering her belly with a purse.

Her spokeswhore said: "We are not confirming anything" .

Blythe Danner might have left it slip that her daughter is indeed pregnant. Blythe was asked if she's excited about being a grandmother again and she responded with:

"Yes, I am" and then she quickly backtracked.

"Well, I think so. Oh well I have not checked lately - but I am a very happy grandmother of one".

She is..why doesn't she just say it? Isn't it too much work to try and cover that shit up. I just hope she has a son and names him Gorton.

[In the News]

Parasite and Nachos do Mexico!

Parasite Hilton and her new man Nachos (he's not gonna last long enough for me to learn his name) were in Mexico this past weekend. This bitch moves so fast. Mark my words that they are going to be engaged in the next 2 weeks and then OVER in 6 weeks time. Greece should fucking make her an official Greek! She's had enough Greek in her to at least be half-blooded by now!



Poor guy, looks like he has anal warts on his mouth now!



Why can't she just crash into those rocks over there?



He's so cool, Paris!



She's such a fucking slut! Always looking for an opportunity to show her nipples!



She's so bored at this moment.



He's so much hotter than Mr. Paris I say!



He has no idea how many STDs he's contracting.



She's already over his ass by now.



[JJB]

She must have a magic tongue or something..

Kimbo Stewart was dating Girls Gone Wild creep Joe Francis, but it looks like it's over between them. Kimbo and singer Ryan Cabrera were seen making out at Club Mood and Chateau Marmont. Ryan previously dated another chowder-face in Ashlee Simpson.

This actually works for me. Ryan is so annoying especially with that dated spiky hair. And Kimbo well, she doesn't have talent or looks so she's gonna need a man to support her ass. She won't always have daddy! But she should've stuck with Joe at least he has lots of cash. Ryan's 15-minutes were up yesterday!

[Page Six]

Denise gets the axe!

Denise Richard's new show Sex, Love and Secrets has been officially cancelled immediately. The show will no longer be seen even though there were 3 more episodes left to be seen. I loved this shit! Eric Balfour is so fucking hot! It was so bad, but I loved Denise in it. But there will be bigger things in her future! Like Playboy again probably. Sigh.

And in more TV news, Commander In Chief, Invasion, How I Met Your Mother, Criminal Minds, Ghost Whisperer, Surface, My Name is Earl, Prison Break, Bones, War at Home, Everybody Hates Chris and Supernatural have all been given full season orders.

And in Commander In Chief news..Mark-Paul Gosselaar who is famously known as Zack Morris on the Saved by the Bell and also his recent stint on NYPD Blue has joined the cast. His character on the show will be as a media strategist.

[Cynthia's Cynopsis]

Zach Braff as Fletch?!

Producers are looking to Zach Braff to fill the shoes of Chevy Chase in a new Fletch movie. The new Fletch film will be based on the novel Fletch Won by Gregory McDonald. Producers are keen to have Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence write the screenplay.

Zach was asked about the possibilities of him starring in this movie and he responded with: "They're huge shoes to fill... if people see any similarities, he was a goofy guy who wasn't your stereotypical magazine poster boy, but he had the ability to be a great everyman. If I can set out to do anything in my career, it would be to play people that the people can relate to. Those are the parts I'm most interested in doing".

I liked Jason Lee better actually. He was a contender and I'd go with him. I'm not fully convinced of Zach Braff yet. Actually, I don't give a fuck. They could put Bai Ling in the role and I still wouldn't go. Who am I fooling? Fuck yeah I would!

[Dark Horizons]

The Dlisted Report

French director Jean-Pierre Jeunet will direct an adaptation of the award-winning novel Life of Pi. The book tells of a 16-year-old boy's voyage from India to Canada, a trip that begins on a freighter carrying animals his father is transporting from the zoo. The ship sinks and the boy is the sole human survivor, sharing a lifeboat with a hyena, an injured zebra and a hungry tiger. Production begins next summer in India. [Variety]

The Weinstein's newly formed studio Weinstein Co. will develop Sin City the TV Series. The series would be a follow-up to the sequel to Sin City due next year. Weinstein Co. is also working on a TV series based on the Matt Damon film Rounders. [Variety]

Doom was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend raking in $15.4 Million. Dreamer was the #2 movie with $9.3. And Wallace & Gromit brought in another $8.7 Million to its total. [Box Office Mojo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Two things they all have in common: Nips and tucks - Anonymous 6:29pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Vanity Smurf

Birthday Sluts

Kevin Kline (58)
Zac Posen (25)
Caprice (31)
B.D. Wong (43)
F. Murray Abraham (66)

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this smile!

Congrats to Lori for being the 1st to get it right!

Posh is a baby machine!

Becks teammates have sparked rumors that his wife, Posh Beckham is currently knocked up with their 4th child. The pair currently have 3 sons. The footballers were seen throwing Becks up in the air, a tradition that is reserved for birthdays and the announcement of a pregnancy.

Posh' spokeswhore has denied all claims that she's knocked up.

Can Posh' breast implants take this sort of abuse? Everytime she has a kid, she has to have them removed and put back in. She then gets another tummy tuck! Her skin is like falling apart. She should just get smart and buy a kid. It's sooo much better on your figure that way.

[Digital Spy]

Secret Love Child?!

Does Janet Jackson have a secret child with ex-husband James DeBarge? James' brother, Young DeBarge made this claim on a NYC radio station. He claims that Janet and James had a daughter they named Renee. She is 18 years old currently. Joe Jackson was so ashamed of this that he sent Renee to live and be raised by Rebbie Jackson.

Young said: "James and the Jackson family kept everything real close, real tight," "No one really knew how it was working out until things kind of surfaced."

A comment from Janet's spokeswhore was denied.

Whatever happened to those DeBarge bitches? It sounds like me that they are just trying to drum up some press. I know Janet got some skeletons in her closet, but that ain't one of em! The whole rib-removal shit, now that's one that is totally true!

[NY Post] [via HollywoodRag]

The Olsens love wearing their robes in public!

Is it honestly that cold in L.A? They are wearing like 10 layers of clothes! And isn't Ashley supposed to be at NYU? So many fucking questions. And is that Randy Jackson with them?

Hot Slut of the Week: Estelle Getty

Age: 82
Birthday: July 25, 1923
Birth Name: Estelle Scher

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: October 22, 2005
Claim to Fame: Playing Sophia Petrillo in The Golden Girls

Where is she now? She is currently doing so well. She suffers from Alzheimer's disease and her health is deteriorating. Was due to take part in a reunion show, but her health wouldn't permit it.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She's funny, she's smart and she doesn't take shit from anybody!

A "Natural" Carmen Electra

Bitch still has a ton of make-up on. She's sort-of hot in a trashy way. But she married Rodman and that's just ick!

Xtina buys a pumpkin!

Yup, Sundays always breed exciting shit...

Brit Brit and Kfed over?

Since Brit Brit Spears gave birth to SPF, Kevin Federline has been nowhere in sight. Brit Brit is getting sick and tired of caring for their child, while Kfed goes out and boozes it up in the L.A. scene. Apparently the two have been fighting ever since SPF was born. Just last week the two had a hideous fight in which Kfed stormed from their Malibu mansion and headed to Club Mood to party with his friends.

A source claims that the real reason behind Brit Brit pulling pictures of SPF getting published had to do with the fact that her marriage is quickly crumbling.

"Britney had done a multi-million-dollar deal for the exclusive pictures but suddenly withdrew them as the couple were pictured as a happy family and there is now a wedge between them."

Poor Brit Brit. Let's get together and send her a Starbucks gift card and a bag of cheetos. She needs us now more than ever. Please, we all saw this shit coming. Kfed has probably already cheated on her ass! Oh well, at least she has her career. NOT!

[News of the World] [Thanks to Tushkin]

Meet the Parents!

Things might be getting a little more serious than we've been led to believe between Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Vince introduced Jen to his mother in Chicago last week. Vince cares a lot about his mother's approval so brought Jen over for the once over.

They then spent a romantic week in Chicago together where they were photographed getting kissy on their hotel balcony.

Bitches in Hollywood move so fucking fast. Expect a pregnancy rumor in the next coming weeks followed by some sort of wedding. Either that or a traumatic break-up.

[Ananova]

Jordan to chop away at her bread and butter?

This is something that she will never do! But UK celebwhore, Jordan has told the press that she's thinking of getting a breast reduction.

She said: "I want them to be more pert. Just because I've had implants doesn't mean they stay perky forever. I've had two kids and gravity has an effect."

She also claims that the reason for her implants maybe because her pop-star husband, Peter Andre, doesn't like her wearing a bra.

"Pete doesn't like me in bras.

His ex wore a bra the whole time and he never saw her boobs He'd rather I take my bra off"

Jordan is seriously becoming the Mimi of the UK. She just talks a lot of shit! There's no way she's going to reduce those things. They pay her bills!

[Female First]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jim J. Bullock

Birthday Sluts

Ryan Reynolds (29)
Brooke Theiss (36)
Weird Al Yankovic (46)
Sam Raimi (46)
Dwight Yoakam (49)
Ang Lee (51)