Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this nose!

Congrats to Kristin for being the first to get it right!

Is Prince Williams hot?

Sometimes I think yay and sometimes think nay!

Jordan loves playing with her tits!

We all know Jordan is obsessed with her tits. And who wouldn't be? They are like separate continents! They probably have their own zip code and shit. Click below to see a funny video of our favorite UK hobag playing with her "leading ladies."

See Video! [Click on second item]

[Holly Rude] [Thanks to Plague]

Brit Brit is livid!

Brit Brit Spears is fuming mad after photos of her new baby SPF surfaced yesterday all over the internet. Brit and her lawyers have targeted two websites for posting the pics that she claim were stolen from a private photoshoot.

A statement from her attorneys read: "Anyone who publishes, sells or otherwise exploits any of these images in any way will be subject to liability and damages for willful infringement of copyright, and will be liable for invasion of privacy."

Hmmm....did I post those? I can't seem to remember!

[MSNBC] [Thanks to all who sent me a heads up on this!]

HoHan's hair is going to fall out!

The other day HoHan revealed a newly brunette look. But these pics below were taken Thursday night and show her with a lighter shade. Does she have a colorist on staff? Almost to that red...but not quite there...lighten it up a bit more HoHan!





[Oh No They Didn't]

Avril Lavigne is turning into....

A fucking librarian! What's with this new look? I know she's growing up, but even her facial expressions are all frigid now.



[Alavigne.com.br]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

On his 21st birthday, Blanket Jackson finally gets to takes off his veil. - Cubanita

Good job on this one guys! All these comments were seriously hysterical! And thanks for the links!

[Thanks to Jennifer]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Estelle Getty

Birthday Sluts

Jeff Goldblum (53)
Jonathan Lipnicki (15)
Zac Hanson (20)
Michael Fishman (24)
Shelby Lynne (37)
Shaggy (37)
Brian Boitano (42)
Bill Condon (50)
Catherine Deneuve (62)
Tony Roberts (66)
Derek Jacobi (67)
Christopher Lloyd (67)

Posh gets Tossed!

Posh Beckham was in Los Angeles attending the Rock & Republic fashion show. Posh designs a line of jeans for the brand and was fucking pissed off when she was told that her line was getting cut from the show. Posh ran over to head designer, Michael Ball and said:

"Are you gonna put it in? You're gonna put it in!"

And he told the bitch he wasn't. "I don't know why I'm even asking you," she responded.

He then called security and had her escorted out!

This story is such bullshit! If she was thrown out why did she do designer bows with Michael Ball? Don't make shit up about Posh! Actually you can, cause it's funny! Posh managed to share a conversation with Kate Cruise:



Posh (to herself) "Her skin is 'beaming'"

Kate (to herself) "OMG is this the alien woman they said would nurse my baby?"

[Pic: Hollywood Rag] [Story: Lowdown] [Thanks to Courtney]

Nicole Richie is OVER Parasite Hilton!

In the newest issue of Jane Magazine, Nicole Richie says that she's had it with Paris Hilton and doesn't think the two will ever be friends again.

She said: "We really haven't been friends in probably about two years,"

When asked about the reason for their split. She answered:

"I know that Paris loves to talk about it and that stuff, but that's just not my style,"

They also asked for about a possible reconciliation.

"No not at this point,"

That fucking picture of the two with Mimi totally cracks me up. Richie is like silly posing while Mimi totally means it and Parasite well, brain-dead as usual!

[People]

While Brit Brit stays home with SPF....

KFed goes out to play....



What's the money exchange for? He can't even get into the club without a bribe?

Porky McFarland is dead!!!

[CNN]

UPDATE - I totally fucked up earlier and put Spanky! It's Spanky's little brother that died. My apologies!

Guess the Celebrities?

UPDATE - Click here to see the celebs behind their face parts!

Congrats to Tracy for being the 1st to get it right!

How much is this slut's cell phone bill?

Here is Parasite doing 2 of her favorite things. Talking on the phone and buying In-N-Out. Hmm...I want me some of that. Somebody needs to slap that phone out of her hand. It's like permanently attached to her skanky ear!



And why does she dress like an 11yo girl?

Owen Wilson needs a mystic tan!

His body is aight. I'd still hit it. But his face is grody.

[Lime-Light]

Wynonna Judd is broke as a joke!

Wynonna Judd has spent all her fortune, because she's a shop-a-holic! Wynonna currently has a best-selling book and a top-selling single, but she can't make ends meet! Her manager has intervened and cut her spending before she spends her way to the poor house!


Wynonna told Ellen Degeneres: "The robe and slippers just wouldn't do," "

I buy things because I love people. If I see you need more, I give more and I want you to love me so much. I just got carried away."

"I had no concept of what I spend on hair and makeup, shoes, wardrobe and tours,"

She even bought her mom a bus! Wynonna is now on a financial diet as well as a regular one. I actually like this heffer. If I had a sister that looked like Ashley Judd and I looked nothing like her, I'd probably do myself in!

[National Enquirer]

Since when did Stiller get grey hair?

And since when did his wife become Nicole Richie?



[Lime-Light]

Jordan to ruin another life?

Jordan and Peter Andre are trying for another baby. Shit, she's already ruined the life of one by boozing and drugging during her pregnancy. What's one more?

She said: "I can't wait to have a little girl. I'm a proper little girl - even our new house is pink!"
Jordan currently has two sons. Harvey is her eldest and is currently blind and suffers from several medical conditions and Junior is her youngest son just born months ago.

Watch her have another boy. She would still dress him in dresses and shit. Although Jordan is seriously hot, she's a selfish bitch! She should just buy a baby. That's all they are to her is accessories and shit!

[Entertainmentwise]

Did anyone catch Madge on Letterman?

Madge was on David Letterman last night and I watched that shit. She always seems so nervous to me. Like she's not being herself. She fiddled a lot with her necklace and had ZERO timing. She tried to be all sexy and shit and it grossed me out. Like when she turned to the audience and said:

"Is my necklace on straight?" and then puffed her chest out.

Ewww, I wanted to vomit. But she did get back on a horse and rode down the street. She's a good sport, but she still needs to remove that stick that's been up her ass for the past 5 years!

And she didn't even perform! What a lazy bitch!

The Real World: Detroit?

What's next? The Real World: Topeka? Apparently, the rumor is that MTV will film the next installment of the reality show in suburb of Royal Oak. According to sources Viacom have leased a huge space in Downtown Royal Oak.

The next Real World is currently filming in Key West.

They are seriously running out of places to film this shit. How about The Real World: End Already?

Yeah I'm ready for that one.

[Reality Blurred]

End of an Era!

Adrianne Curry and her Brady have called it quits! It has been confirmed that the reality show sweethearts are an item no more. They met during the filming of The Surreal Life and later went to star in their OWN reality show My Fair Brady.

But they are done and apparently Adrianne is now dating Constantine Mouralis of American Idol.

What is wrong with these reality show people? Do they only fuck each other. Expect Adrianne to jump off Constantine and head over Danny Bonaduce next!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Is there a Prince Piggy?

Sharon Osbourne wants desperately for her porky-pig of a daughter Kelly Osbourne to marry royalty and become the princess that she really is. She would especially love if she married Prince Willy or Harry.

She said: "I would love to see Kelly slapping those boys around. Oh my God, would she. They would be no curtseying from her - she'd give them all a b**locking.

"She could save the monarchy."

"I'd love the wedding - she'd have a bright red wedding dress."

Sharon Osbourne is a delusional freak! Those boys wouldn't even let Kelly serve them pea soup!
[Contact Music]

Don't call it a comeback!

Kate Moss a Bond girl? Producers are keen to bring Kate aboard Casino Royale, because they think her looks are perfect to play one of the Bond girls.

Apparently, Sienna Miller has already landed the role of the lead Bond Girl pushing out Angelina Jolie.

A source says: "Film bosses are interested in giving Kate a fresh start in the movie."She's stunning and already has chemistry with Daniel and Sienna, which would work well on screen".

Yeah, because she's probably fucked em both!

Filming begins this January on Casino Royale with Daniel Craig donning the famous tuxedo.

[Female First]

Dominic Monaghan to propose to his beard!

Lost stars Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lily may be heading down the aisle soon. Dominic was spotted shopping for rings in Los Angeles. The two started dating almost immediately after filming began on their hit drama, but have been trying to keep things on the DL.

But Dominic doesn't belong with her! He's going to be forever sad if he marries her. He belongs to Elijah Wood. Their love is forever bound! They shall never be parted!


Well, Dominic can still get love from his male co-stars. He looks like a pig in heaven in this pic!



[Entertainmentwise]

I thought I got your ass fired!

A radiant-looking Jennifer Garner reunited with her ex-fiancee Michael Vartan on the set of Alias. Apparently, Jennifer had that bitch fired after her current husband, Ben Affleck, didn't like them working together. But bad ratings forced producers to bring him back. His character was killed in the first episode of this season, so not word yet on if he's coming back as the same character or not. And by the looks of things, it looks like some kind of dream sequence.





[JJB]

Finally some SPF pictures (sort of)

Below are the first pictures of Brit Brit, SPF and Kfed. They were really small so I blew them up, that's why they are totally blurry. I'm sure some clear ones will hit soon. While we're on the subject. Brit Brit reportedly was going to sell her pictures to People but at the last minute totally freaked out.

A source said: "She started crying that she was selling out her baby and couldn't give up the pictures."

But that money-hungry bitch will need to buy a giant-sized mochachino soon, so expect better pics any minute now!



[Page Six]

Finally some Shannen Doherty news!

Shannen Doherty has always been a favorite of mine ever since Heathers and especially when she played the always hot Brenda Walsh. Fuck, I even watched her in that piece of shit North Shore! So, I love when I see her name in the press.

Shannen has a new man! And a younger one at that. At a Victoria's Secret party in Los Angeles, Shannen (age 34) made her way over to younger man Matt Leinert. Matt is currently a college senior and USC quarterback. She sat on his lap and apparently things got heated!

Above is a picture of Matt with some random chick. Don't let Shannen see this or that girl will be missing by midnight!

[Page Six]

Now this could be a hot sex tape!

Gorgeous model Carolyn Murphy is missing something. Her sex tape! Carolyn and her ex-husband Jake Schroeder made a tape back in 1999 and now the tape has gone missing! The tape is over 2 hours in length and was shot in Barbados.

Even though Jake is insisting he isn't leaking the tape, he seems to be bitter towards his ex-wife. He said:

"Yes, a video was stolen,"

"But let it be in the public eye. It doesn't really affect my life; it's Ms. Murphy who has to worry. I'm sick of her bullshit. She barely lets me see our daughter, Dylan. The most I see Dylan these days is in the pages of Vogue — something Carolyn promised she'd never do. Carolyn is as fake as her new tits. She's just about the almighty dollar."

Carolyn's rep basically had no comment.

She's super and he's not-so-much, but I still want to see this shit! But Jake isn't good at playing dumb. He's totally screwing her over, AGAIN!

[Page Six]

Kate Cruise is so happy she could shit!

Kate Cruise spoke to Access Hollywood about the alien baby that is growing inside her.

Kate was at the Rock & Republic fashion show in Los Angeles when she said:

"I'm beaming and I'm just so excited,"

More like they're beaming her up!

Kate is already putting together the baby room and has learned how to knit.

[People]

Does this look hot to you?

The Chronicles of Narnia

"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe," a spectacular live-action/CGI motion picture adaptation of C.S. Lewis' beloved literary classic. Lewis' timeless adventure follows the exploits of the four Pevensie siblings - Lucy, Edmund, Susan and Peter - in World War II England who enter the world of Narnia through a magical wardrobe while playing a game of 'hide-and-seek' in the rural country home of an elderly professor. Once there, the children discover a charming, peaceful land inhabited by talking beasts, dwarfs, fauns, centaurs and giants that has become a world cursed to eternal winter by the evil White Witch, Jadis. Under the guidance of a nobel and mystical ruler, the lion Aslan, the children fight to overcome the White Witch's powerful hold over Narnia in a spectacular, climactic battle that will free Narnia from Jadis' icy spell forever."

I can't decide. I usually don't like this kind of shit, but Tilda Swinton looks super hot in this. But I totally may fall asleep! This shit hits theaters December 9th.

The Dlisted Report

Dakota Fanning will voice the title character in Neil Gaman's Coraline. The story centers on a young girl (Fanning) who discovers an alternate version of her life after walking through a secret door in her new home. On the surface, this parallel reality is similar to her real life, only much better. The adventure turns dangerous, however, when the girl's counterfeit parents try to keep her forever. Pre-production on the animated feature is currently underway in Orgeon. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ken Watanabe and Diego Luna are likely to star in The Air I Breathe. The crime drama is based on an ancient Chinese proverb that breaks life down into four emotional cornerstones -- happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love. Shooting begins this January in Mexico City. [Variety]

The 1982 film Creepshow is getting a remake. Although in the original anthology the stories -- which were written in the old 1950s EC Comics style -- were unconnected, the plan is to structure the new movie a la Go, where individual stories will have interconnected characters and situations. The script is currently being written. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

The Tom Sizemore sex tape was far worse than anyone could have imagined. - Anonymous 3:23pm

[Pic: City Rag]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Taka Boom

Birthday Sluts

Ken Watanabe (46)
Will Estes (27)
Jade Jagger (34)
Melora Walters (37)
Carrie Fisher (49)

Alicia Douvall picture of the day!

UK glamour model Alicia Douvall continues to boggle my mind. Is she really of this world? For those of you don't know her, click here to get caught up a little. I've been trying to find more information on her ass and I can't! We know she claims she was preggers with Diddy's baby and had a miscarriage. She claims to have slept with every major UK soap star. She also dated Mickey Rourke for a while. The latest piece of info I learned is that this bitch claims she's 25!?! WHAT?! Maybe 20 years ago. There is on way in HELL she is in her 20s!

I still you love you Leash!

Say Something Nice

Bobby Trendy: Um...he reminds me of a delicious bag of skittles!

Dolly Parton Quote of the Day!

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this smile!

Congrats to Homme for being the first to get it right!

Aliens are coming!!!

Yup, that's Richie, MK Olsen and some lady dude. I have no idea what they are doing. It must be some theme party.





[Thanks Dave P!]

More of the brown Ho!

I'm so sick of that stupid peace sign. Or maybe it's V-day for her. Who knows, but earlier I said she looks nasty. I take it back, this hair is doing her so much better than that hideous blonde shit she had on her head!

Tom opens wide! Kate loses baby!

These people are losing their minds! No matter how often I see them kiss, it grosses me out!

Tom is demonstrating to these two girls what he did last night.



Katie can't find the alien baby. She's toast!



[Lime-Light]

Yup, that baby is still ugly!

And before you go on and on about how mean I am, look at that baby! It's ugly! Most infants that age are unfortunate looking though. He'll grow up to be hot, I'm sure. And Heidi's a bitch for flaunting her ugly baby around for all of us to see! She's profiting on his ugliness! She's the real bitch here, not me! God, she's a bad mother!



Click here to see the rest!











[JJB]

He sure is purrty!

Orlando Bloom is prettier than most girls. And here he is in November's GQ looking quite fetching. Still doesn't do it for me...




[GQ]

Click here to see the rest!

Is she wearing a bathrobe?

MK Olsen went shopping in Los Angeles the other day and wore what looks like a robe. But upon closer inspection it's just some hideous sweater coat. God, she looks like straight-up death! She looks like she's been sent from Lucifer to spend as much money on hideous clothes as she can!





[Oh No They Didn't]

Alexis Arquette to chop his ding-dong off on TV!

Brother/Sister of David Arquette will televise his sex operation on cable channel A&E. The cable network has already had cameras following Alexis on his journey with therapy and hormone therapy. They will also interview Alexis' siblings: David, Patricia and Rosanna.

A&E said: "We look for real people facing transitional moments in their lives," "Alexis is going through what I'd call the ultimate life transformation."

A friend of Alexis said: "If he does get his sex change, I want his penis surgically implanted on me. It's pretty huge."

Ewww, now that's something I didn't want to visualize! Do you think Alexis shares clothes with Courtney? Maybe not, but they totally have spa days!

Alexis will also appear on the next Surreal Life which has just wrapped filming.

[Film Stew]

Which one would you rather have sex with?

Despite them both being from Hades due to their ruby colored eyes. And DON'T say neither! I'd take my chances on the pooch!





[Lime-Light]

Mel Gibson or the unabomber?

One of my least favorite people in the entire world is sporting a disgusting beard and some poundage. However he is doing a good deed by donating $1 Million to Mexico for hurricane relief due to Hurricane Stan. You are now excused to jump off the face of the planet, Mel.





[Yahoo News]

Keira Knightley is such a lady!

Kiera Knightley found a sex scene in her piece of shit film Domino hard to film. They had to shoot in the middle of the desert and Kiera found it very undignified.

She said: "Filming that sex scene in the middle of the desert being topless with a very beautiful Venezuelan guy? I think I was very lucky!"

"A camera went round and round Edgar Ramirez and I while we were acting the scene, with Tony Scott yelling, 'Go on! Fuck! Fuck!'

"I was like, 'This is so undignified.'"

Get used to it sweetheart. That's what you are, a GD whore! We pay to see you shake your tits and open your legs on camera! We know you can't act and we don't want you to! Since you don't got talent, you gotta fake it like you mean it!

[Contact Music]

Andy Dick wants attention!

That grotesque human being, Andy Dick offended even more people at a Hurricane Katrina benefit a few nights ago. When Andy took the stage, he pretend to beat up his assistant and then called his "male lover" onstage with him. He then went on and on about Hurricane Katrina and dropped several of the N bombs before being boooed offstage.

I'm thinking he needs to shack up with Pete Doherty. Maybe their insaneness will even each other out. Ugh, I wouldn't do that to poor Pete!

[Page Six]

A Brown HoHan?!

Hmm...HoHan has dyed her hair a lovely chocolate color. Don't dig it. She looks fatter in the face. Maybe it's just the style. She's still a skeeze. Is that a moustache I see?



[JJB]

The real reason is because he's ugly!

Ashton Kutcher's twin brother, Michael did not attend his wedding to Demi Moore. Ashton's mother Diane claims that the real reason is because Michael's estranged wife Melissa has a big fucking mouth!

Diane said: "We were determined to keep the wedding a secret and we thought the best way to do that was keep Melissa out of the loop".

Michael was originally supposed to be apart of the ceremony, but cancelled his plans once his wife started asking questions. He was afraid her big mouth was going to open.

Diane said: "It was a favor to Ashton from a loving brother".

Have you seen his brother? He's ugg. But maybe he can hook it up with Rumer Willis. She's pretty unfortunate looking herself.

[Contact Music]

Bill Gates wants to tap that ass!

Elisha Cuthbert could be the world's richest slut if she plays her cards right! Bill Gates has revealed that his one obsession that takes him away from making tens of gazillions of dollars is 24. But since Elisha Cuthbert's character has disappeared this past season, it isn't the same for him.

He said it took him two full days to recover after that episode.

I can totally picture Bill Ages sliding into his expensive office chair, commanding his television to turn to 24 as he unzips his Dockers and goes to town. Yuck, that reminds me of a snail having sex. Do they even have sex?

[Page Six]

Queen Latifah LOVES strippers!

Queen Latifah and a group of friends spent a lovely evening yesterday at NYC famed Scores strip club. They made their way to the Champagne Room where they enjoyed several dances from lovely ladies.

A stripper said: "She is so nice,"

"She treated me like a friend. It's great when someone who you are a fan of turns out to be a good person."

Queen just drank mineral water and didn't touch any booze. Probably because she likes to stay sober when she slaps the booty. Does she deny being a dyke? I once had dinner next to her and she was surrounded by like 6 dykes and they treated her like the Grandaddy Dyke. It was hot!

[Page Six]

You don't want this loon on your jury!

Michael Jackson has been summoned back to court! But this time he's wanted as a possible jury member. Jacko has been ordered to serve jury duty in Santa Barbara, CA. However, it's unlikely that he will actually serve. His lawyers have already filed for a deferment.

His lawyer said: "He is permanently living outside of the United States,"

Jacko is currently living a life of leisure in Bahrain. Besides can crazy people serve on a jury? I wish he would serve, think of the outfits he would show up in! He would totally bring cupcakes for everyone, too!

[Yahoo News]

The Dlisted Report

Director Tony Scott will direct Deja Vu for Disney. He plans to film in New Orleans. The screenplay by Terry Rossio and Bill Marsilii centers on an FBI agent who travels back in time to save a woman from a murder and falls in love with her in the process. Denzel Washington currently stars. If all goes as planned this will be the first project filmed in a post-Katrina New Orleans. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Breck Eisner (director of Sahara) will make a remake of Creature from the Black Lagoon. Ross has written the current "Creature" draft, a present-day update of the 1954 monster classic. He has a particular interest in the project: His father, Arthur A. Ross, wrote the screenplay for the original. No word yet on when shooting will begin. Principal Photography will take place in the US and Central America. [Variety]

Imelda Staunton will play Professor Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter 5. David Yates will direct the film which will start shooting next year for a 2007 release. The script is currently being written. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Mariah arrives carrying her new Versace hobag. - LA

Hot Slut of the Day!

Roz Kelly

Birthday Sluts

Viggo Mortensen (47)
Rob Cesternino (27)
Snoop Dogg (34)
Dannii Minogue (34)
Danny Boyle (49)
Tom Petty (55)

Penny Cruz is one lucky dyke!

Do you think she thinks about Salma Hayek while he's going down on her? But they look so much hotter together than he did with Sandy Bullock!

Avril cleans up nicely!

Those jeans are gross, but overall she looks hot. What happened to that whole "he's just a sk8r boi" girl? She could be on ludes. She looks so sullen...

Not a pretty eater....

Katie Couric shouldn't eat when there's photographers around. Actually she shouldn't eat at all. Only in a dark corner in her basement. I'm being harsh, but Katie is a mega-bitch! Put on some fucking make-up, you homely bitch!

Carson is contracting Herpes before our very eyes!

[JJB]

Posh being attacked by a giant centipede!

And she doesn't even care!



Actually, I think that sweater is kind of hot. My abuelita would've totally rocked that!

Brangelina engaged!

Ray Winstone who is a co-star on Angie Jolie's latest film Beowolf spilled the beans.

When asked about Brangelina, Ray said:

"She's getting married isn't she? Yes she is."

Not that this is huge news. We all knew this was bound to happen. Don't you think Bradley should totally wear Vera Wang?

[Hollywood.com]

Rosie O'Donnell gives me a hard on!

I'm so going to be that for Halloween!

[Pic: Purpleolf Blog]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this smile!

Congrats to Minna for being the first to get it right!

"She's just a jealous, ugly, anorexic idiot!"

Here is the hottest clip of Parasite and crew going out with a bunch of paparazzi following them. Toward the middle of the clip, Bijou Phillips hands Parasite a cell phone and Parasite goes on to tell the person "I'll fucking kill her. She's just a jealous ugly anorexic idiot. I know she's pathetic!"

She's totally talking about MK Olsen!

See clip!

Madge is SOOO Disco!

She doesn't look so bad. I hate that hair, but overall she looks hot. Better than that purple mess from the other day. I'm digging the necklace. Do you think to go with her new "disco" look, she's doing plenty of disco dust? Probably not, she's a bore!





[Rosie DeMario]

Sharon Osbourne has a big mouth!

I used to be a fan of hers, but now I can't really stand her. She mouths off about absolutely everyone! And now she's going after Bon Jovi. Sharon was a guest at a Fashion Rocks concert in Monaco and wasn't pleased with Bon Jovi's performance.

She said: "They look like a bunch of Christian rockers. They are not rock 'n' roll.

"I thought they were crap - and they didn't even sing live."

What is her talent? She's just jealous at other peoples success, because she tried to turn her 15-minutes into 20 and it blew up in her face! She needs to take her dog Minnie and stuff it up her arse!

[Contact Music]

Parasite Hilton, nipples, a bad outfit and a parking ticket!

Where do you suppose she bought this outfit?



Do you think she thinks that parking ticket is really a love letter? Dumb bitch!




[JJB]

Scarlett Johansson Quote of the Day!

"My breasts are definitely my best feature - my leading ladies." - Scarlett Johansson

You got that right, baby!

Is he even a good magician?

David Copperfield is hoping to re-ignite his career and is planning to explore new territory on stage. He plans to impregnate a female audience member on stage without having sex with her.

He said: "There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make a girl pregnant on stage.

"Naturally it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more."

Didn't Tom Cruise already do that?

[Contact Music]

No kind of friend at all!

Kate Cruise has dumped her old friends to devote all her time to Tom Cruise and her pregnancy. Since her engagement to Tom, Kate has barely spoken to any of her friends.

A source said: "Katie's very close to her friends, so it's really strange she hasn't been in contact." "They're desperate to meet up with her, but she's either with Tom or studying Scientology." "She's cancelled all work for the next year. It's as if she wants to dedicate all her time to him."

I'm really scared for this bitch! Once she gives birth, they are going to steal her baby and kill her ass! I watch the movies, I know what happens! Or they are going to sacrifice her to L. Ron Hubbard. She's going to be the pass-around-patty to all Scientologists!

[Female First]

Is this the greatest magazine cover of the past 40 years?!

The American Society of Magazine Editors thinks so.

Click here to read the rest of their list!

Who hasn't Parasite slept with?!

The Tom Sizemore sex DVD goes on sale today and trust me, you don't want to buy it. I had a clip here a few weeks back and it was just disgusting! Ugh! The DVD includes Tom doing the deed and also being interviewed about a night he had sex with Parasite Hilton.

Tom says that after a party at his house, Parasite stayed behind and well they fucked! But he wouldn't say whether they hooked up again.

Parasite issued the following statement: "It's disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs,"

"He is not an acquaintance of mine nor have I ever had intimate relations with him."

Well, she's technically probably telling the truth. Because Parasite has no idea what intimate relations is. She knows everything as either fucking or sucking. So she probably thinks intimate relations is like some kind of business-term for having dinner together.

[People]

Fishsticks hates EVERYONE!

Ok Fishsticks Paltrow talked about how she hated America, then how she hated British men and now she's focusing her attacks on Britian itself! Will this bitch every learn to keep her fishy lips, shut?!

She told Marie Claire magazine:

"My husband thinks I'm way too obsessed with cleanliness and germs. I'm just like, "The street is filthy, could we take off our shoes before we come into the house?" He used to imitate me and say, "Ewwww, oh my God!" Also, the customer service is just rubbish in England. People are much more relaxed there, and things take for ever to get done."

"They'll tell you it'll take two weeks for your Internet service to be fixed! It drives me nuts. And I miss being able to get anything at any time of day. You can't do that there."

And she also hates the weather!

"Bring a raincoat, definitely! Or at least a little umbrella that can fit in your bag, because it always does rain. The best thing for London, even if you're going in the summer, is to bring a little cashmere sweater or a pashmina because it gets really cold unexpectedly."

A spokesman for Britian's tourist board is telling that slut to shut up! He said: "We dispute what Miss Paltrow has said. Thanks to the work of groups like Keep Britain Tidy, the streets and beaches are cleaner than they have been in decades."

I love how she said the streets were fucking dirty. Duh you stupid slut! Streets get dirty, because nasty cunts like you are always walking around in them! Go dip your pussy in chlorox!

[This is London] [Thanks to Warren]

Keeping up appearances!

After all the hub-bub about their marriage ending, Chestica Simpson & Nick Lachey headed for Italy. They were invited to have a "romantic holiday" on Ok! magazine owner, Richard Desmond's dime. But when they got back, they separated almost immediately. Nick headed for Vegas and Chestica moved in with her assistant Cacee Cobb. The two will also spend their 3rd wedding anniversary alone.

Chestica, her creepy father Joe and Cacee will be in Africa for Operation Smile, a charity which Chestica volunteers to.

A spokeswhore said: "Operation Smile is an organization that is very special to Jessica, and she is looking forward to participating in more missions. Nick will be unable to join Jessica on the next trip because of work commitments in Los Angeles."

Work commitments? He doesn't work! By work she means, O.P.P!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Tony winner Anika Noni Rosa has been cast as Lorrell Robinson in the Dreamgirls feature film. She joins Beyonce, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy in the film which begins production this January. American Idol's Fantasia Barrino is a current front-runner for the pivotal role of Effie White. [Playbill]

Michael Vartan has reached a new agreement with Alias producers and has returned to the show. There's no word on what character he will play. The show's ratings have dropped drastically since his departure. [Coming Soon]

Tilda Swinton and Amber Tamblyn are currently filming Stephanie Daley. The film follows a forensic psychologist (Swinton) investigating a 17-year-old (Tamblyn) accused of infanticide. Shooting is currently taking place in the Catskills. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Taylor Dane decides to rock the vote in Europe, where they still know who she is. - Tootie

[Thanks to crankyprof]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Julie Andrews

[For Hilary]

Birthday Sluts

Ty Pennington (40)
Chris Kattan (35)
Trey Parker (36)
Jon Favreau (39)
Evander Holyfield (43)
Jennifer Holliday (45)
Don Johnson (53)
John Lithgow (60)
Michael Gambon (65)

What is Parasite doing in this picture?

Reader Stacy sent me this pic and at first I wasn't sure it was our own Parasite Hilton. But flat ass, no tits, puffy nips, gaudy ring...yup it's Parasite. But what the hell is she doing? Is she at a nudist colony? And who is that next to her. So many questions! Maybe they are just at The Ivy. If anybody knows the story behind this let us know!



[Thanks to Stacy]

Pete Doherty is a gorgeous man!

Get in line bitches! He belongs to me. He's just so hot that I went to lick every drop of heroin sweat that comes off of him. I won't share him, I won't! He's perfect in every way. From his crackhead skin to his shiny red eyes! He's perfection!


[click on image to enlarge]









[Lime-Light]

Kate Moss just says NO!

It was reported that Pete Doherty was planning to drag his nasty ass all the way to Arizona to visit Kate Moss in rehab. But, Kate has put a stop to that shit. He won't be visiting her anymore on her request. She thinks he isn't good for her recovery. Duh!

A friend said: "She really values her family's support and doesn't want anything to derail her recovery. "Everyone just wants Kate to concentrate on getting better."

Expect in the next few days, Pete Doherty to completely freak out and jump out of a window or throw a bottle at someone. Ahh...nothing like a fucked up Doherty to make you feel more alive....

P.S. - When I googled "Kate Moss" this pic was on the first page. This bitch thinks she looks like her!

[In the News]

Reason #945 why the kiss cam is gross!

I don't need to see George Bush and his mother doing that kind of business!

Jennifer Garner pumps gas!

It doesn't get as exciting as this! Why is she dressed like an IRS agent? That car is way too cool for her!







[JJB]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this nose!

Congrats to Anonymous 2:38pm for being the first to get it right!

Blah, Blah, Blah....

Posh & Becks are suing a UK paper that claimed they were faking their marriage according to a nanny. Who cares...Posh looks hot here!



She's so tacky!

[Pic: Idontlikeyouinthatway] [Story: Entertainment Wise]

Infants certainly aren't the cutest....

He'll get hotter with age...right?

The toddler is your newest accessory!

Carrying ferrets are OUT! It's ALL ABOUT the toddler!

Kimberly Stewart: How you DON'T want to see her!

I really don't need to say much. In this case, the pictures speak a million words. Or more like the pictures make you want to run to the bathroom and tear your eyeballs out with your bare fingers and then feed them to the roaches! Furthermore, I don't even need to know what she's expelling from her ass! It's probably Paris Hilton's lady jizz!


[click on images to enlarge]





[Lime-Light]

Go to theater, get sprayed with vomit!

Theatergoers attending a show in London had no idea what was in store for them as they sat down. They had come to see Tara Fitzgerald (of Sirens fame) in And Then There Were None. But during a scene in the play the people in the front row were sprayed with vomit! The actor, whose character was poisoned to death, propelled the stage sick (vegetable soup) beyond the stage and into the first row of the stalls.

A spokesman for the play said: "Yes this did happen. It was extremely unfortunate but the whole point of previews is to iron out small glitches like this. "

"I have to admit, though, that most glitches don't involve drenching paying theatregoers in a torrent of vomit. We were happy to pay their dry cleaning bills."


So I guess it was a show AND dinner!

[Contact Music]

Dolly Parton Quote of the Day!

"My boobs are heavy. But if they get too heavy, I've got some bongo stands to rest them on". - Dolly Parton

Mimi's secret admirer (is probably her dog)

Right before Mimi was to perform a concert at Monaco's Hotel de Paris, she received a gorgeous diamond ring and matching bracelet worth thousands of dollars. These new gifts came from a secret admirer! Mimi was so honored that she wore her new gems onstage that night.

A source said: "Mariah was so excited with the diamonds she wore them for her show on Monday. The guy is definitely after a date and with all the effort he's been putting in who knows what might happen?".

You can't fool us Mimi! That's the oldest trick in the book? I bet you if I went to the jewelry store and showed them a picture of Jack, they would say "Yeah that's the bitch who bought this shit." Mimi you are hot, there's no need to send your dog out to buy you fancy gifts!

[Spotlighting]

Love in a pumpkin patch!

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen shared a beautiful moment while they took their daughter to get some pumpkins for the holidays. Denise wore some tacky sunglasses as they shared a pretty disgusting kiss. She looks like she's sucking tomato sauce off his lips! She has fish lips! Their daughter is precious, though!











[JJB]

Madge thinks this is a "wicked" world!

She's such an idiot! Madge has launched an attack on our modern society branding us wicked!

Madge says on her TV documentary: "People are going to go to hell if they don't turn from wicked behavior. "

"The material world, the physical world, the world of illusion that we think is real, we live for it. We're enslaved by it. It will ultimately be our undoing"

Does this stupid slut even realize her millions come from this "material world" she talks about. She really needs to get over herself. Someone needs to zap away all her possessions and that cunt would be singing a different tune! And I love the fact that she doesn't give her kids ice cream! Who doesn't give their kids ice cream? Will we go to hell if we eat that shit?!

Oh Madge, you need to get it together and pop in one of your old albums and stop being such a frigid bitch! Cause we are living in a material world and you're a material girl!

[Ireland Online]

Kate Cruise's wedding dress!

Tom Cruise has asked Giorgio Armani to design a wedding dress for his bride, Katie Holmes. But he wants that shit for free!

A source said: "Tom asked Giorgio to design the dress especially and he has had Katie in for several fittings. "

"It's unusual for the groom to have a say in the dress but he has had a lot of input. It seems Tom has a very clear idea of what he wants for the ceremony".

Is Tom getting one for himself? He would look hot in something fire-engine and possibly strapless. I'd also like to see some intricate beading on his dress with maybe a train. I think Tom has the physique to pull this off!

[Spotlighting]

Angie looks like trash!

Brangelina and kids arrived at an airport in Canada where they were taking a flight somewhere. Angelina looks like a fucking mess! That hair color is just ACK! Maddox looks rock star as always! I wish I had his life. He doesn't have to walk ANYWHERE! He's like The Golden Child!

This dog can't stand her ass!

Eva LongWHORIA tried desperately to catch her dog after it ran away from her ass. You know it's so sick of her bringing home a different man each night. It just wants to get a perfect nights sleep!

Kiki Dunst gets messy at her own premiere!

Friends of Kiki think she may be an alcoholic after the slimy one showed up to her Elizabethtown premiere party absolutely smashed! Witnesses say that Kiki looked a mess on the red carpet and then preceded to drink herself silly at the after-party.

A witness at the party said: Kiki "was drinking a lot and got very loud and obnoxious. She was very pushy".

Last week on Leno, Kiki even stated that she drinks too much. She said: "I stock up on Veuve Cliquot champagne. I buy it from Costco - cheap there I have lots of alcohol and no food in my fridge".

Leno then joked that she may have a drinking problem and she said: "Well, maybe in a few months you will see me in a rehab clinic"

This is just too perfect! That miserable Kiki Dunst being an alcoholic is fucking hot. This bitch's face already looks haggard. I would drink myself purple if I was this bitch too. What would make me even MORE happy is if I saw her drunk out of her buying stocking up on booze at Coscto! That's on my wish list!

[Monsters and Critics]

Your cheatin' heart!

And the Nick Lachey/Chestica Simpson marriage has taken another blow. And the blow wasn't performed on Nick by Chestica. A college student by the name of Angela Barlett is said to have had an affair with Nick in his hometown of Cincinnati. Angela is an ex-girlfriend of Nick's best friend, Chad Leslie.

Chad recounts the night that it all went down:

"Nick and Angela came into the bar where I worked at about 3:30 in the morning. Angela asked for my house keys and said she was going to drop Nick off at the Cincinnatian Hotel, and go back to my place".

Chad got off of work at about 4:30am and went home expecting to find Angela, but she wasn't there.

"I phoned her and asked her where she was, and she wouldn't tell me I told her, 'I know you're upstairs, please come down, I just want my keys so I can go home'.

"Later I told her, 'I need to know what happened in the room' She said they opened a bottle of wine and Nick tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away "Obviously, she was trying to hide something She was in that room for an hour and a half, not answering my calls"

Whatever, who cares anymore. Nick needs to get laid, since Chestica is too busy fucking everybody else! Good for him! And if I was him, I wouldn't keep that shit on the down low anymore. He needs to humiliate that bitch!

[Teen Hollywood]

Brit Brit is boozing it up!

Brit Brit probably had a countdown to when she could finally drink a delicious sea breeze after giving birth to SPF. Now that she is free of the baby, Brit Brit has gone back to her old ways. Friends say that the bitch is smoking and drinking up a storm! Brit is reportedly miserable after gaining 40lbs and is drowning her sorrows in some wine coolers.

A source said: "I think Britney is having a very hard time right now. She hasn't lost the pregnancy weight and she's desperate to get back in superstar shape and resume her career. "She has turned to drinking wine to relax, washing away her stress."

A source says that Brit is always back to smoking half a pack of Newports a day. She's also sleeping in until the afternoon. And even though she has the help of a nanny, she's still finding life with a baby hard to adjust to.

This bitch is stupid. I don't feel sorry for her ass! You know she's like "awww, I thought having a baby was going to be like having a puppy y'all! This ain't fun, can we return it?"

[The National Enquirer]

The Dlisted Report

Michael J. Fox will guest star on three episodes of Boston Legal later this season. His character will focus on Michael's current battle with Parkinson's disease. Fox will play a corporate executive who suffers from lung cancer and is represented by the show's fictional law firm of Crane, Poole and Schmidt in a court case involving a promising cancer-fighting drug. [Yahoo]

Bijou Phillips and Erika Christensen will star in the independent drama You Are Here. The film is about a group of twenty-something, nightclub-going friends who wake up after a wild night on the town to find their lives in chaos. As they contact each other to figure out just what happened the night before, they begin to understand that they're affecting each other in ways they couldn't possibly imagine. Shooting begins next month in Los Angeles. [Production Weekly]

Thora Birch has signed on to the feature horror film Dark Corners. Dark Corners is the story of a troubled young woman who falls asleep and wakes up as someone else, stalked by hideous creatures. The film started shooting last week in London. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

New Orleans trick-or-treaters get creative. - Anonymous 4:03pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Stella Stevens

Birthday Sluts

Jean-Claude Van Damme (45)
Vincent Spano (43)
Wynton Marsalis (44)
Marina Navratilova (49)
Pam Dawber (54)
Terry McMillan (54)
Peter Boyle (70)

Parasite Hilton won't give up shitty TV!

Paris Hilton is going on with The Simple Life even though Fox has decided not to pick it up again. She states that the reality show will start shooting November 1st as scheduled.

Paris said: "All the networks are fighting over it."

She confirms Nicole Richie is on board too. The premise of the show will still be The Simple Wife. Each girl will fill in for a wife of a household, kind of like Wife Swap. Nicole and Paris will be shot separately since they hate each other.

Bunim-Murray, which produced the show said: "We're very excited about the creative plans for the next group of episodes, and are confident this situation will be remedied quickly."

Why can't this show go away? It's so fucking awful. I want to see The Simple Execution. That's what I really want and I'm a viewer! Shouldn't they give us what we want?

[Yahoo]

Dpoll Results: Who is the real baby daddy of Kate Cruise?

L. Ron Hubbard takes the cake with 33% of your votes! I was hoping for Satan myself!

Thanks for voting y'all!

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this nose!

Congrats to all-time champion Kristi for getting it right AGAIN!

Ashton & Demi think they are much cooler than they really are!

The more I see these two together, the more they make total sense to me. They are both probably dumb as bricks! I wonder what they talk about? Demi probably laughs at all his lame jokes. They deserve each other. But his dick is probably SOOO much smaller than Bruce's.





[Lime-Light]

Nicole Richie is too weak to eat!

Look at her! She's about to pass out!



Get her a wheelchair!

Adam Brody can pick at his nose all day!

CZJ is almost perfect for a 45yo woman!

No, she's not 45..but you know that's totally her real age!

A love that cannot die!

Elizabeth Taylor is thinking about death already. Well, she's 73 and pretty much on her last leg! She reportedly would like her ashes to be cremated and spread on the grounds of Richard Burton's home in Wales, so that she can be close to him. Liz married Richard twice for a total of 11 years.

It's sweet that Liz wants her ashes near Richard in Wales, but the problem is that he's buried in Switzerland!

Richard Burton's brother said: "Elizabeth said she wanted her remains brought back to Wales after seeing photos of the college. "She asked if she could have them placed close to Richard's theatre."

Liz wanted to be buried next to Richard, but his widow denied this shit!

Poor, Liz she wants to be loved? What happened to that crazy dog of hers?

[Contact Music]

Poor Kelly Clarkson...

I guess if you win American Idol, they don't give your ass a stylist. Everytime I see a picture of her, she looks worse and worse. She dresses like the goth girls in my HS did. She just rolls out of bed, pops on some black Dickies and some Converse and is ready to go. And that hair color, well....I miss the old Kelly.

Let's do crack in rehab!

Pete Doherty will head off to Arizona to visit Kate Moss in rehab! Brilliant idea! Pete has cancelled the last 3 shows of his band's UK tour. Jefferson Hack, the baby daddy of her daughter has already visited.

Pete uncle told him: "I can't wait to see Kate. I know Jefferson has been to see her already but she is not bothered about him. ."I have told her that as soon as the tour has finished I will be there. She is only allowed one visitor a day." "Pete told me they are still very much an item and in love. He is just sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll - that's why Kate likes him."

Well, Kate can get her fix if Pete comes to town. He won't even have to carry any of the stuff on him. He probably has enough coke in his system that she can just eat his boogers to get high!

[Female First]

Jacko is into plushies!

A staff member at London's Hotel Dorchester was surprised when she knocked on the door to the suite of Michael Jackson and Mickey Mouse answered! Actually it was Jacko IN a Mickey Mouse suit! Jacko removed the the head and apologized to the maid claiming that he was having a fancy dress-up party with his children. All three children were dressed like Peter Pan characters.

A source said: "The chambermaid got a real shock when Mickey Mouse answered the door. Michael was thrilled by her reaction, and then revealed himself and introduced her to his kids - dressed as Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Captain Hook".

If this was ANYBODY else, I would think this was rather cute and perfectly normal. But because it's Jacko, it comes off totally creepy. You know he's worn that Mickey Mouse costume for other shit as well! I'd hate to be his dry cleaner!

[Gigwise]

Oh no she didn't!

Is Mischa Barton for seriously wearing biker shorts? Please tell me, I'm seeing things. I know she's a fashion fuck-up, but this just can't be! Next thing, she's going to be rockin' a Body Glove t-shirt!





[Lime-Light]

War of the Words

It looks like Yoko Ono's comments against Paul McCartney started something! Bitch better put her fighting gloves on! Last week Yoko Ono made the following statement while accepting an award on behalf of her late husband:

"I wish John was here today as he would have really loved it But I'd like to tell you a story about me and John.

"He always found it extraordinary that people would always cover Paul's songs, and I used to tell him not to worry about all those June and Spoon songs"

Well, not being one to take it lying down..Paul fired back:

"She's John's wife so I have to respect her for that, but I don't have to go any further. I don't want to get into a bun fight but she's said some particularly daft things in her time.

"Yoko is something else. Her life is dedicated to putting me down, that's what she seems to do all the time".

He also went on to say she "wasn't the brightest of buttons."

Ok ok! So Ono VS McCartney can be the pre-fight to Aniston VS Jolie. My money's on Yoko, she's a biter for sure! And she bites to bleed!

[Daily Mail]

Xtina gets something creamy on her tongue!

Xtina and her fiancee, Jordy went out for her ice cream and a Lil' Kim CD. These celebrities are so fascinating! I could look at her suck on that spoon all day. I wonder if that red lipstick is permanently tattooed?





[JJB]

Naked and Sacred

Sharon Stone opened the Louis Vuitton store in Paris last week and apparently was completely naked! Well except for a coat and that stupid hat.
A source said: "Sharon showed up in a Louis Vuitton coat with nothing underneath. "That was it - she was like a flasher! She wore it as a dress".

When I first read this shit, I thought to myself "so what?" People wear evening coats as dresses all the time. But the pictures show that it's a fucking coat! Look at that shit, it's like wool. Wouldn't that shit be itchy? Well her snatch is probably so dry that it feels better this way. She probably has panties made out of steel wool!

[Monsters and Critics]

At least it went to charity!

Parasite Hilton's engagement ring reportedly went to auction and it sold! The ring given to her by ex-fiancee Paris Latsis sold for $4.8 Million. This is apparently half of what Mr. Paris paid. But Parasite, having the huge heart as she does, gave the proceeds of this winning auction to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

The latest rumor in the reason for the couple's split is that Mr. Paris' family were so desperate to get their son NOT to marry Parasite that they offered her $10 Million to walk away. And according to rumors she snapped at it!

Wouldn't surprise me! This bitch is a money-hungry slut! However, me thinks she really just wanted new dick and the freedom to suck as much as she wanted!

[Monsters and Critics]

Angie to play a Bond girl?

Angelina Jolie is the latest name as a rumored Bond girl in Casino Royale. Producers think Angie is perfect for the role of Russian agent, Vesper Lynd. The new Bond has been named in actor, Daniel Craig.

Yeah Angie can be a Bond girl. But she's a little played out. They should give it to someone that we don't see every single day! My vote still goes to Liza Minnelli! But, I'd settle for Jackie Stallone.

[Channel 4]

My Little Pony Parker flips us off!

Not really, but it totally looks like it! This movie is going to blow!

The Dlisted Report

Kirsten Dunst will play Marla Ruzicka in a new film about the 28-year-old American relief worker who was killed in Iraq by a suicide bomber. Ruzicka was a dynamo in her quest to get reparations for the scores of civilian casualties after the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions, compiling lists of war victims and seeking compensation and medical treatment from the U.S. government. The organization she founded, the Campaign for Innocent Victims of Conflict, raised $28 million to assist casualties of war in those countries. No word yet on when production begins. The script is currently being written. [Variety]

The Fog was the #1 movie this weekend bringing in $12.2 Million. Wallace & Gromit came in at #2 with $11.7 Million. And the #3 spot when to Elizabethtown with $11 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson and Sydney Pollack will star in the independent thriller Michael Clayton. Clooney will play an elite New York attorney known among his colleagues as "The Janitor" because for 15 years he's worked behind the scenes to clean up his high-profile clients' messy personal problems. The story takes place over the four worst days of his career. Shooting starts this January in NYC. [Production Weekly]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Harry, I knew I was going to get totally dicked in your little "mail order bride" scheme. What the hell do we do with those bitches now? - The Stylist

Hot Slut of the Day!

Patty Smyth

Birthday Sluts

Wyclef Jean (33)
Eminem (33)
Chris Kirkpatrick (34)
Ziggy Marley (37)
Rob Marshall (45)
Margot Kidder (57)
George Wendt (57)

A purple Madge goes to a party!

She looks much hotter than usual. She usually looks like a frigid bitch, so at least she's turning it up a bit. The hair is a bit ick, but whatever. At least the old hag is trying!






[click on images to enlarge]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these hands!

Nobody got this shit today!

Breaking News!

Hot off the presses! Joan Collins, one of the most glamorous women in the world, is going to join the hottest TV show ever--Footballers Wives---for Season 5!




Joan is going to go head to head with Tanya Turner over a man! This is going to be so fucking hot!


VS


If only Alicia Douvall would be on this show! Jordan already was!

2 Days in a row!

Brit Brit, a friend and her nursing bra made a trip out to Planet Blue clothing store in Malibu and also stopped for some iced fraps, y'all! Brit still looks hot, but needs to cover up that fucking nursing bra? Where's her kid?







[Oh No They Didn't]

Nick Lachey buys a hose!

Yeah pretty exciting, right?

[Lime-Light]

Janice Dickinson will fuck you for a Xanax!

"The World's First Supermodel" was on a red-eye flight from Los Angeles to New York when she couldn't sleep! She asked a few first class passengers how many cold pills she should take to keep her asleep the entire flight. A handsome passenger then told her he had Xanax.

She blurted out: "I'll fuck you in the bathroom for a Xanax!"

He replied: "I've got 10 of them, so I hope you're not too tired."

He gave her 1 Xanax and she went to bed. But, she probably blew him in the men's room bathroom at JFK!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Week: Iman

Age: 50
Birthday: July 25, 1955
Birth Name: Iman Abdulmajid

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: October 14, 2005
Claim to Fame: Supermodel

Where is she now? Married to David Bowie and currently has her own cosmetics line.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? She's painfully gorgeous, she's funny and she's married to David Bowie!

Probably from listening to her own music!

Rapper Foxy Brown has come clean about being deaf! She's such a drama queen! Apparently one morning in May, Foxy awoke and she was suddenly deaf!

She said: "I pressed the volume to maybe 60. Nothing," " I ran outside to my truck and honked the horn. Nothing. I ran back inside and dialed a number on the phone. Nothing. Then I started breaking down in tears and screaming and I couldn't even hear myself scream. That's when I knew there was a problem."

Foxy went to see a doctor days later and it wasn't good. She lost hearing in both ears and didn't respond well to initial treatments.

Foxy found help in best friend and uber-bitch Naomi Campbell: "One of my closest friends is Naomi Campbell. She kept calling me and saying 'Call me,' and instead I would e-mail her. Finally she was like, 'Inga, what's wrong? Why don't you call me?' And I had to tell her I couldn't hear her over the phone. She freaked out. She said, 'I'm coming to New York and we have to fix this.' So she did some research and found me another specialist. I saw her June 8. The doctor told me I have severe damage to my ears and that I needed surgery right away. Her words to me were, 'If you ever want to hear again, we need to do this surgery.' I said, 'on both ears?' She said yes."

Foxy had surgery the next week and her hearing increased by 20 percent. She is still working on getting her hearing back. But the article never explains how this bitch lost it! Probably from hearing her own screaming at sales people!

[Oh No They Didn't]

That poor ferret!

PETA needs to focus their attention on this stupid bitch! She's always parading animals around like they are a fucking Balenciega bag? Look at that poor thing? It doesn't want to be part of her slut parade! It just wants to eat delicious food and take a nap! All of Parasite's poor pets need to band together and destroy that bitch!





[JJB]

It's getting ugly!

The bitter custody battle between Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger over their 10yo daughter, Ireland, heated up after Alec basically said he's more successful than she is. Alec wishes to see more of his daughter who lives in Los Angeles with her mother while Alec's homebase is in NYC.

Alec feels that Kim isn't being flexible with his schedule.

His attorney said: "Baldwin lives and works in two states and often has professional commitments in other states,"

"Basinger has dramatically fewer professional and non-professional commitments as compared to Baldwin. Although Baldwin would not venture to change dates to negatively impact Basinger's schedule, he finds that Basinger often has no schedule at all."

Umm...did Alec even take a gander at Cellular? Ms. Basinger's work in that was a cinematic wonder! If Alec wanted to see his daughter so much, wouldn't he stop taking shitty parts in shitty movies like Along Came Polly? Maybe Kim isn't working as much, because she's raising THEIR daughter! Has that stupid idiot ever thought of that?

[Page Six]

A Bushel and a Peck!

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston shared a secret lil' kiss recently! But to be fair, this picture was probably taken while they were filming The Break-Up together. She shouldn't hold his face like that, it makes him look fatter. Is this even Jennnifer Aniston? Maybe it's Angelina using that hypnotic vagina to snag another one of Jen's leftovers! That would be BEYOND!!!

Ginger Spice knocked up?!

Geri Halliwell is the latest Spice Girl to get knocked up! Geri has been secretly dating a British songwriter for a few months. Geri has told friends that she's having her baby next spring.

A source said: "Geri is thrilled to be pregnant. Although this is totally unexpected she can't wait to be a mum. It's the best thing that could happen to her. She has had her problems in the past, battling bulimia, but now she is grown up and ready to be a mother."

Hmm..this is one of those stories that when you started to put it together..you realize nobody cares. Well nobody except some creepy Spice Girls fanatics in Scotland or some shit.

[Digital Spy]

Barbie Luxe?!

Mattel will launch a clothing line for adult women which they are calling Barbie Luxe. The label will feature high-end clothing and accessories. Famous designers will use Barbie as their inspiration to tweak their designs with a Barbie sensibility. The designers include Anna Sui, Anya Hindmarch, Citizens of Humanity, Judith Leiber, Nickel, Not Rational, Paper Denim & Cloth, Stila and Tarina Tarantino.

Mattel's VP of Marketing said: "Our target market is the fashionista,"

"From teens through adults in their 20's and 30's. It's not Mattel's usual target audience."

The line will begin a lunch next week at Fred Segal in Santa Monica before going nationwide.

What idiot is seriously going to spend thousands of dollars on fucking Barbie clothes? Hmmm...Paris Hilton...nuff said!

[Yahoo News]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jessica Harper

[For Lookee Townley]

Birthday Sluts

Angela Lansbury (80)
Lookee Townley (27)
John Mayer (28)
Kellie Martin (30)
Flea (43)
Tim Robbins (47)