Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this nose!

Congrats to Kristi for being the first to get it right!

Blonde isn't working for Mary J. Blige...

Damn Mary! Not Today!!!

[Lime-Light]

Those Hilton sisters are fucking sluts!

The Hilton sisters claim to be friends of Mary-Kate Olsen. But, Paris Hilton has started to date Mary-Kate's ex-boyfriend Stavros and now Nicky Hilton seems to be dating MK's other ex-boyfriend David Katzenburg. This shit is like Melrose Place. All of these bitches swap boyfriends! Fucking key parties in Hollywood are probably so strange.



[JJB]

My Little Pony hates the word "Fat"!

Sarah Jessica Parker hates the word "Fat". She apparently won't let her son use the world at all.

She said: "I've forbidden the word 'fat' to be used in our home because I don't like the way it's used and I don't want him to ever use that word."

Ok, either this slut is certifiably crazy or she's fucking lying. It's not possible to not use the word fat. It's just not. Everyone uses it and they always will. This bitch has control issues. If she wanted to save her son from ugliness she'd save him from every watching her in Life Without Dick.

[Entertainment IE]

Unbeweavable!

Sharon Stone is in Paris and looks like she's back to those ridiculous extensions. I used to think this bitch was so fucking hot and now she just scares me. She's holding onto 30 years old with all her fucking might. Let go bitch and drop the Parasite Hilton hair!





[Lime-Light]

Kate Moss on W Magazine

W Magazine has stuck by Kate Moss and kept her on the cover of their November issue.

W said: "She has shown courage by taking steps to deal with her personal problems and it is only natural that we would support someone that we regard as a friend."

Kate was booked to grace the cover long before her coke problems. Kate is currently in rehab.

That's hot, it's nice to see somebody standing by this bitch.

[Hindustian Times]

Skank Parade

Kimberly Stewart and Paris Hilton got down and dirty at Tao in Las Vegas the other night. They look like fucking fools! But at least Paris is back to the short hair. I would give anything to see those two bitches fall!









[JJB]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

"Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" - Markus

Hot Slut of the Day!

Ayumi Hamasaki

Birthday Sluts

Matt Damon (35)
Nick Cannon (25)
Kristanna Loken (26)
Soon-Yi Previn (35)
Jeremy Davies (36)
Emily Procter (37)
Sigourney Weaver (56)
Chevy Chase (62)
Paul Hogan (66)

Say Something Nice

Jocelyn Wildenstein: Um...err...um...golly gee....um...hmm...wow...um...that's a nice shade of pink lipstick!

Somewhere in America Zellweger is bawling her eyes out!

Jack White and his wife Karen Elson are expecting a baby. Jack announced to his family and friends that Karen was due to give birth this spring.

Damn, maybe that's why Renee has been acting so sad and shit. She should've married his ass when she had the chance.

Do you think when Zellweger cries, her eyes actually invert into her head?

[Oh No They Didn't]

Do you really want to snort me?

That silly queen, Boy George was arrested today in NYC on drug charges. Boy George, 44, called the police this morning from his Little Italy apartment to report a burglary. When police arrived they found a small amount of cocaine near a computer. A woman at the apartment told police there was more cocaine lying about here and there.

A former spokesman for Boy George's autobiographical musical "Taboo," which closed last year, said he did not know whether the singer had a spokesman or lawyer.

Dayum! He doesn't have a spokeswhore! This bitch is broke and fucking stupid. He's too old to be doing that kind of shit. I thought he was sober!

[ABC News]

Chestica & Nick playing it up!

This was taken at London's Heathrow airport, today. Please, you know as soon as they got out of eye sight from the public, they fucking pulled away from each other and shit. She looks like shit!

The Piggy Olympics!

Every year I look forward to the piggy competitions in China. There are several. This one was held October 1st in Hefei. The pigs compete in sports such as running, hurdling, diving and swimming. They are fucking hot. They should've entered Tara Reid, that bitch would've finally won something!





[Yahoo News]

Guess the Celebrity: Advanced Edition

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these lips!

Congrats to Tracy for being the first to get it right!

A Pair of Manorexics

What in Nicole Richie happened to Richard Greico?!? He looks like a frog. 21 Anorexic Street more like it. I'd still hit it.



I personally think Carson Daly looks better, all of you bitches are going to disagree with me. I'd still hit it!



[Pics: A Socialite's Life]

Yup, she still looks ugly drunk!

[The Stranger] [Thanks to Brian]

"Hold onto my shirt honey"

HoHan's father, Michael Lohan is speaking out about his daughter's new single Confessions of a Broken Heart. The song (which you know HoHan didn't write) is a song from a daughter to a father. The lyrics go:

I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater/ I dream of another you, the one who would never (never)/ Leave me alone to pick up the pieces/ A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed/ (So) why'd you have to go … / Daughter to father, daughter to father/ I don't know you, but I still want to

That shit is garbage! Have you heard this fucking song?! It sounds like a Meat Loaf ballad meets a Lifetime Original Movie theme song. It sucks!

But Michael Lohan is touched by it. He says: "The lyrics not only brought me to tears, but they tell you what kind of a loving and caring daughter Lindsay truly is,"

Michael Lohan is currently in the fucking slammer for drunken driving, contempt of court and beating his brother-in-law bloody with a shoe. He's a winner.

He went with his love letter to HoHan: "Hold onto my shirt honey, soon enough you'll be able to hold on to me!… While the media and press love to cover Lindsay enjoying her life and successes, I hope now they will cover the kind of heart this beautiful and gifted young lady really has."

This kind of creeps me out just a little. Gross! I really hope he's not beating off to that song! He's so like Joe Simpson to me.

[Daily Dish]

Note to Andie: If you see Sinead..run for your life!

Sinead O'Connor seriously wants to take a pair of scissors to Andie McDowell's hair! Sinead can't stand those L'Oreal commercials with Andie in them!

She said: "I absolutely hate those hair commercials she's done. They drive me crazy. She looks so prim and proper.

"If I ever get the opportunity to meet her, I'm going to shave all her hair off."

Holy shit! That's a fucking threat! Me thinks Sinead is like one of those lil' boys at the playground. She's tormenting the one that she loves. You know she has a shrine to Andie McDowell in her basement. And she wants to cut off her hair to add this to her fucking shrine so she can rub Andie's hair and her gina can become one!

[Contact Music]

Paris Hilton in 2 years!

[JJB]

Cameron Diaz: The British are Sluts!

Ok we know Sadie Frost is a slut, as is Sienna Miller and Jude Law is the biggest of them all, but that doesn't mean ALL British bitches are hobags. But Cameron Diaz thinks so. In her new flick In Her Shoes Cameron Diaz plays a man-stealing slut! But she insists that in real life she is all about loyalty and monogamy, unlike the British.

She said: "The British are good at that - they pass around partners as if it was popcorn in a movie.

"I saw 10 minutes of LOVE ACTUALLY the other day and I was like, 'Oh my God, he's in love with his friend's wife!'" .

"I have English friends - and every time I show up, that person is now with that person and that person is now with that person. I don't get it."

Somebody get this bitch a lobotomy stat! She's fucking braindead!

[Times of India]

Lost in Translation

Tommy Lee once made a claim that Tara Reid could out drink him under the table! Back in August Tommy said:

"Tara Reid. She's out of her fucking mind. She's crazy." .

He's got that right. But, Tara who is ashamed of her party girl reputation, has laughed off those claims.

She responds, "I'm going to kill him for saying that. "Honestly, do you really think I could out-drink a member of Motley Crue? . They're the biggest rock band in the world! Even I wouldn't give myself that much credit." .

I think Tommy was totally misquoted. I think what he really said was:

"That Tara Reid drank me while under the table." Ewwwww

[Female First]

Can we get a recount?

How can Jessica Biel be Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive? I'm not even sure she's a woman, let alone alive. But Esquire is like for grandpas right? Then I guess this makes sense. Shit, I even think Eartha Kitt is sexier than this bitch!

A Doll's Life

Brit Brit Spears looks like she's thinking of more ways to bring in the dough. She has reportedly approached Mattel about turning her family into dolls. She hopes that the toymaker will consider making doll versions of herself, Kfed and baby Sean Preston. She EVEN wants toy version of her mother, dad, brother and sister. Get this shit, she doesn't stop there! She's also hoping they would turn her Malibu home, pink hummer, her yacht and dogs into miniatures.

A source said: "There is already a Britney Spears Barbie doll but it has proved so popular, there's talk of producing an entire Britney Spears family. They are bound to be huge in the States".

Dlisted has received this exclusive picture of a prototype of the new Britney doll:



[Anorak]

Aliens don't cry!

I hope this bitch is getting an extra Mil for this shit! Katie Holmes will of course have to go without pain medication during the birth of her child. Well, because Tom Cruise worships aliens. And get this shit, Katie will also not be allowed to scream during labor - AT ALL. Oh hell naw!

This shit is fucked up! Practitioners of Scientology are against drugs and screaming, because they believe it's traumatic for babies to hear their mothers scream!

"Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go," church founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in his best-selling "Dianetics."

So you can't scream and you can't get drugged up? Can she hit or shoot at a bitch? These Scientology bitches are straight-up crazy! They believe women are fucking robots!

[Daily Dish] [Thanks to SarahM]

Jeff Probst no longer a Survivor!

Reports are that Jeff Probst will make this Survivor (Guatemala) his last one as host. He is reportedly sick of traveling and is eager to settle down with his girlfriend Julie Berry, a former contestant, whom he began dating last year. CBS is considering replacing Jeff with a former contestant as host.

Other sources say that Jeff's contract is up after the 12th edition of Survivor. We're currently on our 11th.

This bitch is an idiot if he leaves! Survivor is his cash cow. He's so going to The Surreal Life next!

[Reality Blurred]

The Dlisted Report

Julianna Marguiles, Rita Wilson and Michelle Trachtenburg have all signed for Chad Lowe's directorial debut. His film called Beautiful Ohio will star William Hurt. The early 1970s coming-of-age tale centers on a teenager (newcomer Brett Davern) who feels he is in the shadow of his idealized older brother (David Call). Wilson and Hurt play the boys' parents, with Margulies cast as a seductive next door neighbor and Trachtenberg as Call's girlfriend. Shooting already began this past Monday in Brooklyn. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Vh1 has a new reality show premiering October 30th. But Can They Sing? will follow each week contestants as they undergo training with two vocal coaches and a movement-dance instructor to prepare for their performance in front of a live studio audience. Viewers will cast their votes each week with the lowest number of votes going home. The winner will receive a donation to their favorite charity. The celebrities involved are: Joe Pantoliano, Morgan Fairchild, Kim Alexis, Carmine Gotti , Antonio Sabato Jr., Larry Holmes, Bai Ling, Michael Copon and Myrka Dellanos. [AP Wire]

It's about that time to cancel some shows! Just Legal starring Don Johnson on The WB has been canned. Production has been shut down on Inconceivable with NBC expecting to cancel it shortly. Over at FX, Starved has also been cancelled. [Cynthia's Cynopsis]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

The perfect accessory this fall is a tiny human. This one was made in a small village in France called Ganagobie. You'll see people like Angelina Jolie carrying one this year. Tiny humans, it's a good thing - Glen

Hot Slut of the Day!

Fawn Hall

Birthday Sluts

Thom Yorke (37)
Shawn Ashmore (26)
Rachel McAdams (29)
Nicole Ari Parker (35)
Toni Braxton (38)
Simon Cowell (46)
Dylan Baker (46)
Yo-Yo Ma (50)

Since when is Parasite Hilton so fucking camera shy?

And I stand by my claim. She's the fucking worst dressed bitch in all the land! I love how in the second set of pics that woman is picking up her fucking purse for her!







[JJB]

What a Bratt!

Benjamin Bratt and his wife Talisa Soto (not pictured, because who really cares what she looks like) have given birth to a baby boy!

Mateo Bravery Bratt was born Monday in Los Angeles, weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces, said publicist Craig Bankey.

Mateo has an older sister named Sophia.

I bet you Benjamin is thanking the stars that he didn't have a baby with Julia or right now his son would be named Nicodemus or Bertha. Although, Bravery is a bit strange.

[Yahoo News]

Who's gayer? Elijah or the Sunflowers?

UPDATE - Somebody said in comments that a picture of Elijah smelling the sunflower would be more gayer than the sunflowers, themselves.



He's not smelling it, but pretty damn close. Is this gayer?

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these lips!

Congrats to catheter for being the first to get it!

Allegra Versace is here to take us to the gates of hell!

Seriously, give the bitch a 2 piece! These pics are from May, but I couldn't find any recent pictures of Allegra Versace. We joke around about Nicole Richie looking like death, but this bitch makes Nicole look like Star Jones pre-gastric bypass! Dayum, her mother is too coked up to do anything about it. Let's put our coins together and send this bitch a Lunchable!






UPDATE - Here's a couple more pics y'all sent me:

Kabbalah Recruiter!

Is Madge getting like 10% off for every new membership she brings in? Rumors have it that Madge has set her sights on Oprah joining the Kabbalah. Esther has sent Oprah several books and e-mails trying to educate her on all that is Kabbalah.

Madge knows that Oprah would be a huge BONUS in her court. Oprah's show is seen by nearly 9 Million bitches a day that would do anything she says!

Madge has also given Oprah exclusive access to her estate in England where she will talk about falling off a fucking horse.

Oprah knows better. Why join some other cult when you have one of your very own?

[Daily Dish]

Parasite Hilton is the WORST dressed bitch ever!

The Hiltons really do have nothing...

I'm confused...

I thought she was a pony..shouldn't she be on the cover of Hollywood Pony? That dog is hot shit!

Smack that ass!

Although this video is a few years old, I've never seen it! It's a slim looking Janet Jackson sunbathing nekkid in the privacy of her own backyard. The best part is when she smacks her ass several times. Damn, these celebs have no privacy! Bitch couldn't you have fixed that hole in our fence?

Watch the video!

[A Socialite's Life]

Hayden says...

Is "Amanda" his beard? Or code-word for penis?

Jake Gyllenhaal Heart Gay Sex

For his new movie Bareback Mountain, Jake Gyllenhaal had no problem with the gay sex scenes. Duh, that's because he can pull from real-life experiences!

He said: "As soon as I read the script I wanted to do it. "A lot of people have asked me, 'Were you worried about the sex scenes?' And you know, maybe it's just that I take these things for granted, because I live in LA and some of my close friends and family are gay, and I grew up in a generation where it's not a problem.

"It's not my fault if people disagree with my ideas, 'cos that's how I was raised."

Translation. What he meant to say was:

"As soon as I heard that sweet-piece-o-ass Heath Ledger was doing it, I was like 'when do we eat?!?!'"

[Contact Music]

You know she was spying on Brangelina!

[JJB]

Yeah right! You're just selfish bitch!

Mariah Scarey claims she is unsure of having kids, because she doesn't want to drag them into the spotlight. She doesn't want them to struggle with having a superstar as a mother.

She said: "The guy would have to be really secure, and potentially a great father. But I'm not obsessed with having a child."

Bitch please. You know she just doesn't to get fat! She should adopt that shit. A child would do wonders for her career! Look at what it did for that man-trap Angelina. Made her kind of human.

[Female First]

Chestica to herself: Shit now I have to wait longer to dump his ass!

US Weekly reported yesterday that Chestica Simpson and Nick Lachey were indeed done! But of course, those two bitches are denying it. Probably because Chestica has an exclusive contract with Ok! and was probably going to announce through them soon that the marriage was over. But now that US Weekly has squashed their plans, looks like they may have to play the role of happy husband and wife a little while longer.

The couple issued a joint statement: "Nick and Jessica have not separated. Rumors to the contrary are simply not true." .

Their 3rd wedding anniversary is October 26th, so expect their official break-up to come sometime after through Ok! magazine.

Don't worry though, Chestica will continue to suck the dicks of other men. Nothing has changed.

[Teen Today]

Um...err...it was the paparazzi! Yeah, that's it!

HoHan is blaming the paparazzi for her recent car crash. But apparently police have ruled out the possibility of the paparazzi being the blame for the crash.

A spokeswhore for the police said: "She happens to be an innocent victim in all of this. The paparazzi, as far as we can tell, have nothing to do in terms of the accident." .



The accident was caused due to the maroon van making an illegal u-turn thus making HoHan crash into his ass.

But HoHan's rep said: "This is another example of the paparazzi endangering citizens, both Ms Lohan and the other driver in the collision."

Please...you were just driving too fast dumb bitch. But thank God HoHan lived, I don't know what I would with myself if she were to make her way to the afterlife! I would have nothing to live for anymore! However, it would have been hot to see that car burst into flames.

[Ireland Online]

Old People Dancing!

Susan Sarandon celebrated the big 5-9 by getting her groove on with Tim Robbins. You know they just smoked a bowl.

Zellweger visits Page Six!

So weird! A Page Six staffer received a telephone call yesterday morning and the voice said:

"This is Renee Zellweger,"

"I'm in the lobby, and I wonder if you could come down because I want to talk to you."

The staffer thought it was a prank and said: "You're probably lying, but I'll come down because I don't mind being pranked."

When they went downstairs sure enough it was the beady-eyed, puckered-mouth actress. Seems she wanted to set the record straight.

"I just wanted to tell you that story was hurtful about me being with another man," she said. "It wasn't true, and it made me look slutty."

Zellweger denied that she was romantically linked with Damien Rice, simply calling him a friend.

She must not be busy if she can fucking make house calls to clear the air. She's soooo strange.

[Page Six]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH TV comic with a dismal record dating hot chicks tried to ingratiate himself with a "typical, off-the-truck L.A. model/actress" by buying her a month's worth of "pole dancing" classes? The strategy backfired when the cheapo wouldn't pay for her second set of lessons.

Andy Dick

WHICH Italian fashion designer has a hard time keeping his p.r. directors because he has a bad habit of sleeping with them? Let's hope his gorgeous model girlfriend doesn't catch on.

Roberto Cavalli

WHICH surgically-enhanced starlet ate Ex-Lax every day on the set of her recently-canceled TV show in a desperate bid to stay svelte?

Denise Richards

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Hugh Jackman is currently in talks to star in If You Could See Me Now, a musical comedy. Jackman would play the imaginary friend of a lonely 6-year-old who has been left behind by his mother and is being raised by his aunt. The twist: The aunt can suddenly see the imaginary friend, and a romance blossoms between them. [Variety]

Craig Bierko has joined Anna Faris, Regina Hall and Leslie Nielsen in Scary Movie 4. Dr. Phil will also be featured with shooting to begin soon. The film is due for release this Spring. [Variety]

Anthony Hopkins will play Ernest Hemingway in Papa. Papa reportedly will look at the end of Hemingway's life, during which he spent time with "Denne Bart Petitclerc, America's youngest war correspondent in the Korean War. No word yet on when production will begin. [Dark Horizons]

Grey Gardens the Musical will have a reading later this month in Manhattan to prepare for an opening next February. Mary Louise Wilson and Christine Ebersole are set for the reading to play Edith and Little Edie. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Angie and Brad will go to extremes so that Zahara feels at home in Malibu. - Mel Jo

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mary Murphy from So You Think You Can Dance?

Birthday Sluts

Jeremy Sisto (31)
Ioan Gruffudd (32)
Amy Jo Johnson (35)
Elisabeth Shue (42)

Wednesday in Review

HoHan almost dying +

Shitney/K-Fed Sex Tape +

Nick and Jessica officially over +

Nick and Jessica officially NOT over +

TomKat bringing an alien baby to this world =

THE SECOND COMING!!!!!

Katie Holmes is preggers!

OMG, the world is ending as we know it! Too much news today. I'm off to jump out the window!

A spokeswhore for the couple said: "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited,"

I have no fucking comment to this. With HoHan almost dying and Nick and Jessica being over and then not over, I have no idea what to think anymore. I'm seriously just praying that MK Olsen will pull a Long Island Lolita on Paris Hilton today. Jesus if you're up there, hear my prayers to end this very special day!

[People]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these lips!

Congrats to Wakka Wakka Wakka for being the first to get it right!

A story told in pictures: The crashing of HoHan

Click here to continue our story...

The Photoshop Awards: Posh Beckham

Go ahead! Make fun of the woman of my dreams!

Click here to see the rest!










[Hollywoods Best]

Someone in Cardiff has foot fungus now!

Picture this...Charlotte Lurch drunk as shit getting out of a cab with her boyfriend and some bitches stealing her shoes right off her fucking feet! Jesus has finally given me a sign that he likes what I write about!

An onlooker says, "Two guys forced open the back door as the cab was moving off.

"They went off holding Charlotte's shiny silver shoes like a trophy."

Ewww, I'm looking for them on eBay now. But nothing comes up when I look under "silver horseshoes."

[Contact Music] [Thanks to Courtney]

Ewww

[JJB]

Expect Joan Rivers to be abducted by aliens now!

Plastic-woman, Joan Rivers has given her opinion on the whole TomKat shit. And she's basically stating what we've all been saying for months. I guess she just needs some press.

When asked what she thought about the pair, she said:

"Each woman has done very well by Tom - Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz.

"Katie Holmes, who doesn't seem to have much talent, is probably the luckiest of all.

I saw her in 'Batman Begins' and, let's just say, she better hang on to Tom for a while!"

Um, what about Mimi Rogers? She married the freak and looks where her career is? You know she's beyond pissed. I think we need to work on getting her a show on the UPN.

[Contact Music]

Bitch is gonna get dropped, yet again!

So it seems that Rimmel is likely going to drop Kate Moss from their ads and commercials. Rimmel seemed likely to forgive Kate and keep her on. But now they are facing pressure from both Walgreens and Wal-Mart. Both stores have given Rimmel a "She goes or We go" kind of ultimatum.

Here's a hot picture of Kate getting taken down from the Burberry store in Manhattan.



Kate is currently faking her way through rehab in Arizona. Kate if you ever need a job, me thinks Sharon Stone will be more then happy to give you a hand or finger..or dildo maybe?

[Page Six] and [A Socialite's Life]

A Celeb sex tape we don't need to see!

A member of Brit Brit and Kevin Federline's entourage has apparently taken an intimate home movie of the couple. Hell to the Naw! The tape-stealer is threatening to release the footage which shows a pre-preggers Brit Brit Spears and Kevin engaging in several acts. Ick!

But when the couple's lawyers reviewed a copy of the tape they started to laugh and snicker. Well, that's better than dry-heaving which is what I'd probably be doing.

Can you imagine the fucking dirty-talk between these two?

Brit Brit: "Oh Kevin, do you love me?"

Kevin: "Stick this cheeto in your ass and let me eat it."

Brit Brit: "Y'all do love me!"

Kevin: "Let's use Red Bull as lube instead of KY."

Brit Brit: "Let's make a baby!"

Kevin: "Show me the paper!"

[Page Six]

More on this HoHan shit!

So, I've been reading all the articles on this whole HoHan car crash thing. Some say the bitch wasn't even being chased by the paparazzi! And the car she hit was some fucking van and the dude is pretty injured. Well, he's acting that way anyway. I would fake my own death if HoHan hit me with her car. My family would be cajillionaires and shit. Another source claims that HoHan's friend had to run back to the car to get something. Yeah to get Grade A crack!

So this all boils down to HoHan being a fucking drama queen. The paparazzi hound Angie Jolie every minute of her life and is this bitch running into cars and screaming for her life? No. That's because HoHan's extensions are probably pulled so tight that it's caused blood flow to her brain to cease.

You know this bitch's PR rep is making a call to Oprah right now. I can see this bitch crying her eyes out on Oprah talking about how she almost died. You wish bitch! That would be the best thing to happen to your fucking career!

And you know HoHan is BEYOND pissed that Nick & Jessica's divorce is totally taking the spotlight from her dumb accident!

And bitch you better call Geico, your insurance is so through the roof now!



[Pics: JJB]

This is most likely going to suck!

A movie based on a musical play based on a movie?

[Coming Soon]

The Dlisted Report

Roland Emmerich will direct 10,000 B.C. for Columbia. 10,000 B.C. centers on a 21-year-old who lives among a primitive tribe that survives by hunting a mammoth each year as the herd migrates through the tribe's homeland. Roland plans to use unknown actors. Shooting begins this February in Africa. [Variety]

Michael Douglas joins Kate Hudson in You, Me and Dupree. The comedy is about a newlywed couple that allows the groom's best man to stay with them after the wedding, only to quickly regret it. Matt Dillon also stars. [Variety]

Emilio Estevez has signed 4 more actors join his Robert Kennedy assassination picture, Bobby. Sharon Stone, Elijah Wood, Nick Cannon and Freddy Rodriguez have joined previously announced Anthony Hopkins and Demi Moore. Bold Films is financing and producing the ensemble film, which mixes fact and fiction to chronicle the intertwining lives of a grand cast of characters, all of whom are present at Los Angeles' Ambassador Hotel in the hours leading up to Kennedy's assassination. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Who Cares?! HoHan is on her death bed!

It's not official yet, but bitches are saying they will make an official statement at the end of the month. Employees at US Weekly were not even given advanced copies so that it wouldn't leak. It hits newsstands this morning. The article states the fucking obvious. The relationship was over a long time and basically it comes down to Joe Simpson being creepy and Jessica being a fucking slut!

Yawn, expect Nick to join the cast of The Surreal Life 7.

[Gawker]

Don't die HoHan!

OMG, I love you sluts! I got so many e-mails from you guys telling me that HoHan was on her death bed! Ok not really, but she was in a car crash thanks to that pesky paparazzi!

HoHan was taken to the hospital after her black MBZ crashed with a van in West Hollywood. HoHan and her female passenger suffered minor injuries. The accident occurred after dozens of paparazzi followed her shopping through West Hollywood.

A witness said: "She got into her black Mercedes across the street and they literally were like sitting on her car, trying to take pictures of her, she was like yelling at them to get off,"

The accident occurred with the photogs got in their cars and followed her. She was trying to evade them.

This shit happened back in May to her ass. Poor HoHan! Expect an outcry from B-Listers to follow.

[Thanks to all of you for sending me this shit!]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS!!

It's a tie! Good job on this one, y'all!

Baby Federline's christening gets way out of hand. - Genie

AND

Elmo instantly regrets signing up for the "GOT MILK" campaign. - Glen

Hot Slut of the Day!

Inga Swenson

Birthday Sluts

Guy Pearce (38)
Nicky Hilton (22)
Jesse Palmer (27)
Parminder Nagra (30)
Kate Winslet (30)
Heather Headley (31)
Bob Geldof (54)

Say Something Nice

Tori Spelling: Um...she knows how to use a cell phone really well!

Where's Maury Povich when you need him?

I have no idea who this guy is. But apparently, he's some country singer. He fucking posted the hottest shit on his website. This shit is beyond ghetto. This would've sent me over the moon if it came from fucking Kevin Federline! But beggars can't be choosers.

A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM CHRIS CAGLE October 3rd, 2005

To All My Loyal Music Fans:

"As many of you are aware, I had been anxiously awaiting the addition of a new baby to my life. The baby has been born and both mother and child are in good health. Since the birth, however, we have discovered that biologically, the child is not mine.

As excited as I was about becoming a new father, my disappointment is equally as strong. So out of respect for all that are involved, please allow this situation to remain private and know that I will not be commenting further on this very personal matter. I'm thanking you in advance for your kind cooperation and understanding."

Chris Cagle

[Chris Cagle] [Thanks to FourFour]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this hand!

Congrats to PeePee McPoop for getting it right!

Aaron Carter is super cool!

What a fucking idiot!

[Oh No They Didn't]

So much hotter!

Kirstie Alley has dropped 50lbs on Jenny Craig and looks much better. She's still fat, but considering that she used to look like a bloated pig, this is a huge improvement!

Kiki needs to visit Maidenform!

Bitch needs a bra STAT! And why does she always look like a 45yo woman?





[Lime-Light]

Sharon Stone wants Kate Moss' ass!

Sharon Stone speaking at a press conference in Paris to promote Christian Dior's new ant-aging line:

"I'd like to say as for Kate Moss, I understand that she has apologized and is changing her life. And I think that that is the most important thing that's happened," "I think that we have to be aware that people are allowed to make mistakes in their life,"

"Whether or not a house stands with her or not through it says more about the house than it does about her,"

"Because someone who doesn't allow someone to fail and change and grow -- it doesn't say very much about them, in my opinion."

"If you are in here and haven't made a mistake, I'd like to meet you because I've been waiting for Jesus -- and today would be the day,"

Oh Sharon, I have a message for you from Jesus: "You're gonna have to wait a long time to see me, sister."

[Yahoo News]

Send Lil' Kim a card or some KY or somethin'...

Kimberly Jones / 56198-054
FDC PHILADELPHIA
FEDERAL DETENTION CENTER
P.O. BOX 562
PHILADELPHIA, PA 19106

Pete Doherty is the Pillsbury Dough Boy!

Here's Pete Doherty leaving a police station after being jailed for 12 hours. He was arrested on Saturday at a gig after police found large amounts of Class A drugs. Pete claims that police made a mistake and confused his prescription pills with drugs. But soon after being released, Pete headed across the street to a bar!

Death Watch 2006: Pete Doherty!

[MTV UK]

Shirley MacLaine will give you a beat down if you lie about her!

Shirley MacLaine claims that she was so mad when a gossip columnist wrote something incorrect about her ass that she slugged him in the face!

When Shirley was younger she was the target of many tabloids and read something that wasn't true. So she confronted the writer!

"One of the gossip columnists wrote something about me, that wasn't true. And I went in and socked him. I just decked him. .

"But I did check on what 'assault and battery' was. I consulted with my lawyer.".

Can you imagine if you were at a party, drinking your sea breeze and in walks in Ouiser from Steel Magnolias with a fucking fist coming your way? That shit would be beyond hot! Like pee-in-your-pants-like-Fergie-and-Paris hot!

[Contact Music]

I smell something fishy..and it ain't pussy!

A student in Santa Domingo named Marianny Pimentel Orde is claiming that Vin Diesel's bodyguards threw her out of a nightclub when she refused to spend the night with him.

She said: "They kicked me out of Praia because I didn't want to go anywhere with him".

Ok bitch how much were you paid to say this? Everybody knows Vin is bagging his bodyguard. You know Vin likes it soft too, like a lil' kitten. He probably likes to be tickled with a feather in a very romantical way!

[Dominican Today]

Own a piece of trash!

Brit Brit Spears is auctioning off several skanky items to benefit the victims of Hurricane Katrina. You can own this tacky rhinestone-encrusted bra that Brit Brit wore in a video. If you put your nose close enough you can probably smell her pit juices.

There are over 100 more items at auction. I didn't take a close look, but I'm sure Sean Preston is up for auction somewhere there. Or at least one of his arms.

Click here to see all the tacky shit that's up for auction!

[Thanks to Des]

HoHan is a pain in the ass!

Organizers are pissed off at HoHan for acting like a royal bitch at Saturday's Yeli Foundation for Haitian Children. HoHan demanded a private plan to fly her from NYC to Chicago, but cancelled at the last minute causing the foundation to be charged a penalty fee. She then decided to fly commercial, but missed that flight. So the foundation had to get her a new charter, but she arrived late so they were charged another penalty fee!

When she arrived at the event, she refused to talk to organizers or mingle with other guests. "Lindsay sat in a corner playing with her BlackBerry and made frequent trips to the ladies' room," said one attendee.

Then when Wyclef Jean took the stage and removed his shirt, guest Jeremy Piven did the same exposing a fat stomach!

Which HoHan replied: "Oooo, I can't stand to look at that!"

God she's such a fucking bitch! And that's why I love her! I can totally picture this slut sitting in a corner text messaging and shit! Hmm...and what do you think she was doing in the bathroom? Adjusting her tampon?

[Page Six]

Trading Up

Paris Hilton has begun dating Greek billionaire Stavros Niarchos whose family is said to be worth so much more than the Latsis family. Stavros recently dated Mary-Kate Olsen. Last Friday, the new pair showed up to Spider Club in Los Angeles and according to sources made out all night. And the next night they went to Club Element where Paris "tried to get the club to turn the lights down so no one could see her and Stavros make out," another spywitness recalled. "She also got the club to clear out the bathrooms for her and her friends so that no 'fans' would be in there with her."

God, she's such a fucking slut! You know she was blowing him off in the bathroom.

Apparently, this new development has caused a strain in Paris' friendship with the Olsens. MK is completely hurt that Paris would steal her man. Why is this surprising? Paris' vagina thinks for her!

And in other Paris news, she will keep the $5-Million engagement ring given to her by Paris Latsis. I wouldn't expect anything less....

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Bollywood star Gulshan Grover has landed the role of a villain in Casino Royale, the next James Bond film. Filming begins this January in Prague. No word yet on who will play Bond. [Times of India]

Vincent Cassell will play famed French criminal Jacques Mesrino in a new film. Mesrino was a former Public Enemy No. 1 in France. He was known as a womanizer and thief. Production begins next summer. [The Hollywood Reporter]

NBC has picked up a pilot called Heist which is based loosely on the film Ocean's Eleven. Heist is an Ocean's Eleven-style show about a group of thieves who'll spend the season engineering and executing a grand scheme to simultaneously rob three Rodeo Drive jewelry stores. The twist: They're planning to pull off the job during Oscar week. Doug Liman will direct. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

The New York State Department of Corrections instantly regrets their decision to let Lil' Kim re-design the prison uniforms. - Vivalashameless

Hot Slut of the Day!

Michelle Visage

Birthday Sluts

Liev Schreiber (38)
Rachael Leigh Cook (26)
Alicia Silverstone (29)
Jon Secada (44)
Russell Simmons (48)
Susan Sarandon (59)

R.I.P. Nipsey Russell

Hell to the Naw!

This MUST be illegal for her. Right?



[Hollywood Rag]

TomKat has resurfaced!

Finally with all this Brangelina shit, TomKat comes in like a breath of fresh air! Here is the alien and his lady at his daughter's soccer game. I love how they try so hard to look in love.

Who is the Hot Slut of September?

Thanks for voting y'all! Good choice!

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this hand!

Congrats to berttomyernie for being this first one to get it!

It's Official!

Brad Pitt is free to become the wife of Angelina Jolie! His marriage to Jennifer Aniston has officially ended as of yesterday, October 2nd.

[The Bosh]

The Osbourne's get a drink!

I must say Kelly doesn't look half-bad. Not like her usual baby-powdered, hippo self! Jack ain't fat anymore, but still fugly!



[Lime-Light]

Beyonce insists her daddy isn't a puppeteer!

Beyonce is insisting she's the one who makes all the decisions in her career! Well who decides for you to wear those fucking ugly as shit costumes? Beyonce is responding to rumors that her father is like a Joe Simpson and makes every major decision in her career and the career of Destiny's Child.

"People expect my father to be like Joe Jackson, because that's been the pattern when parents manage children. "People think that he just controls everything and does everything, but I actually control everything.

"People think I have the same story as the Jackson Five, and I have a completely different story.

"I had a very healthy, happy childhood. My mother (TINA) made sure of it, and I love her for it."

Beyonce, my question is: Was that your decision to tell the world you're 8 years younger than you actually are?

[Contact Music]

Nicolas Cage is a father again!

Nicolas Cage and his child-bride Alice Kim brought a beautiful baby into this world! And in true Hollywood fashion, they gave him a fucked up name.

Kal-el Coppola Cage

Why the fuck do these bitches have to do this? Are they that fucking selfish? Do they know what Junior HS is like?

[Mercury News]

Mimi is a liar!

This is Mimi: "Casual sex destroys self respect. Some people use it to feel better about themselves but in fact it ruins lives. I've seen it for myself, and that is why I have never been comfortable with promiscuity." .

Oh please! That bitch sucked Arsenio Hall's dick just to get her tape to Tommy Mottola!

[Female First]

Xtina and HoHan drag queens!

They look better than the originals!

Brangelina is throwing a party!

Brangelina are apparently splashing out millions of dollars on a party for Maddox and Zahara, welcoming those bitches to America! OMG, they should totally have a United Nations theme.

A source is quoted as saying: "Angie wanted a christening for the children but didn't want to tie them down with any particular dogma, so she decided on a family blessing".

Angie has also told Brad to build some Buddhist temple shit in his backyard.

Angelina is reportedly flying in musicians from Phnom Penh in Maddox's native Cambodia and from Zahara's home country Ethiopia. She is also having special commemorative jewelry made for her children - dog-tags set with a sapphire for Maddox and a pink diamond bracelet for Zahara.

In other news, Brad Pitt has officially lost his balls.

[Monsters and Critics]

Sienna Miller is a fucking slut!

Sienna Miller loves dick. She has gotten back with Jude Law, but on a recent visit to Los Angeles she cozied up with Leo DiCaprio. Now that shit is nasty. Leo probably has dick cheese beyond! Anyway, Sienna and Leo met up at Club Mood where they drank the night away and held each other!

"Sienna was getting very cozy with him. ."They spent most of the night huddled in a corner. They looked like they were having a great time" .

Gisele was nowhere in sight! But Sienna and Leo both confirm they are just good friends.

[Monsters and Critics]

James Bond hates rubbers!

Medical researchers are so pissed at James Bond for fucking several women and never using a condom! Duh! That's because James Bond is like invincible! James Bond has slept with 44 women and has never gotten an STD or got a bitch preggers. That we know of?! You know that bitch Pussy Galore has a kid right now!

Dr Hasantha Gunasekera, the author of the research paper, says, "The social norm being presented in movies is concerning, given the HIV and illicit drug pandemics in developing and industrialized countries. "The motion picture industry should be encouraged to depict safer sex practices and to depict the real consequences of unprotected sex".

Um, does anybody use condoms in movies? I'd say 98% don't! That's why it's a movie, it's fantasy! And in movies they never use KY or any kind of lube. Bitches are always wet as shit in movies!

[Softpedia]

A beautiful portrait of Star Jones!

I would hate to be Naomi Campbell's sister!

You know Naomi gave her the beat down of her life when she was younger!

UPDATE - WWJDD let me know this isn't Naomi's sister, but her mama!

[JJB]

Please pray for Romeo Beckham!

Romeo Beckham was rushed to the hospital over the weekend after suffering from a seizure! This is the second time this month that the 3-year old boy has been rushed to the hospital. Romeo was playing with his nanny when he went into convulsions!

The nanny screamed for Posh who grabbed her hubby and hopped into the car to take him to the hospital. After Posh no doubt, changed clothes and redid her make-up!

He was released a few hours later.

A source said: "David and Victoria looked as worried as any parents would be as they went into the hospital. Victoria was very pale".

You know Posh loves this shit. She can play the fucking gorgeous victim of a mother! When the nanny screamed "Romeo's having a seizure!" She probably replied with "Romeo who?"

[Pic: JustJared] [Manchester Evening News]

Dayum! That's a fine piece of man!

That hair color is rancid though!

[JJB]

Zellweger's moved on!

[I can totally see Zellweger and Garner dyking out]

So Renee Zellweger called off her marriage to Kenny Chensey amidst reports that he is a fag. But the bitch has moved on quickly! She has reportedly flew to Ireland to be with her new man, Damien Rice. Damien is best known for that song from Closer that goes "I can't take my eyes off of you" over and over.

Renee certainly loves to be serenaded!

Friends of Kenny are also saying that he was shocked when Renee asked for an annulment.

"Just three weeks before, they spent five days together and had a blast," says a pal. "He had no idea she was going to drop him."

He was a little confused. He had a blast with somebody, but surely not her!

[Page Six]

Brooklyn Bitches

Heath Ledger has his baby mama Michelle Williams have purchased a brownstone in Brooklyn's Boerum Hill. They were renting an apartment in nearby Carroll Gardens, but have decided to plop down $2 Million for their new home.

Michelle will pop a baby girl out of here any day now. The two met on the set of Brokeback Mountain.

Expect this baby to have one fucked up name. Probably some hippy-like. I'm thinking Lavendar Chestnut or maybe Chamomile Rose.

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale may star in Christopher Nolan's The Prestige. Bale and Jackman will play rival magicians in turn-of-the-century London who battle each other for trade secrets. The rivalry is so intense that it turns them into murderers. The title refers to the residue left after a magician's successful trick. The feature will start shooting this January. [The Hollywood Reporter]

John O'Hurley of Dancing with the Stars fame will make his Broadway debut. John is expected to play Billy Flynn in Chicago starting this January. [Broadway.com]

American Idol loser Constantine Maroulis has signed a deal with ABC for a TV sitcom. The unnamed show will be produced by Kelsey Grammar. [13Wham-TV]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Heather Mills goes too far at a J.Lo fashion show. - Anonymous 6:56pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Deniece Williams

Birthday Sluts

Clive Owen (41)
Ashlee Simpson (21)
Sean William Scott (29)
India Arie (30)
Kevin Richardson (34)
Gwen Stefani (36)
Tommy Lee (43)

More like Cinderfella!

Today in NYC, Disney had some special screening of their digitally restored Cinderella. This shit, sure brought out some ugly fucking bitches. Star Jones so thinks she's Cinderella. More like the Jerry Lewis version. This bitch is nasty! Come to think of it, bitch looks like that fat mouse in the movie!



Kimora "The Man" Simmons showed up with her two kids. They are cute, too bad they have a preying-mantis as a mother!



Soon-Yi showed up with an Asian kid and a White kid. She was so Angelina before Angelina.



HoHan's sister and mother brought a little white trash to the event!



On second though, I think Kelly Monaco brought enough skankiness!



[Oh No They Didn't]

Let's talk comments!

So, as you can tell by now. I've changed the commenting system to Haloscan. I'm not a HUGE fan of Haloscan, but it had to be done. Comments were getting a bit out of control. I had the option of making comments only open to registered users, but there are tons of people that post anonymously that are hot. So Haloscan was the best option, because it allows to ban certain people from the comments.

And why would I want to do that? Well as of recently there has been one or more commenters that have completely crossed the line. I'm all for offending someone, but this person(s) made racial slurs in almost every post. I could get kicked off of Blogger for that, so something had to be done.

With Haloscan you can still post anonymous. You can also have an avatar if you wish.

So here's the rules, if you make any kind of racial slur, spam or links to porn I'll have to ban you. But, I'm not going to be ban happy. I can dish it with the best, so I can take it with the best. I won't ban anybody for speaking their mind which may or may not be directed at me or anybody else. The only time you will get banned is if you violate one of the rules above.

Unfortunately, all our past comments have been erased due to this change. That fucking sucks!

Thanks all and I'm sorry for this change!

xoxoxoMichael K

P.S. - If you'd like your own Avatar, you can do so at Gravatar.com

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this hand!

Congrats to Kristi for getting yet another correct first!

Hot Slut of the Week: Julie Brown

Age: 47
Birthday: August 31, 1958
Birth Name: Ms. Pac Man

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: September 28, 2005
Claim to Fame: Comedian and star of Earth Girls are Easy!

Where is she now? Guest starred on Six Feet Under and also starred in a show on Comedy Central called Strip Mall.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Because I worshipped her show Just Say Julie on MTV in the 80s and her movie Medusa is the hottest shit ever!

Kelly Osbourne loves them corsets!

And baby powder as well! She's practically fucking transparent! I bet you Jennifer Love Hewitt can see her though.

Has she lost her noodle?

HoHan got all emotional and shit on the set of her new video Confessions from a Broken Heart. The song is basically about her relationship with her piece of shit father. How is that she has another single coming out? Every fucking song she has put out there is absolute shit!







[Lime-Light]

Video: Kate Moss snorting coke

The video of Kate Moss doing coke has been released. It's pretty boring, but if you have nothing else to do give it a look. It's pretty long and if you've seen one bitch snort coke, you've seen them all. Nothing new here.

Kate snorting the white shit

Parasite Hilton is a dirty bitch!

Paris Hilton pulled a Fergie recently in Las Vegas. The newly single tramp was in Las Vegas to celebrate the opening of restaurant Tao at the Venetian when she encountered a long line at the ladies room. Instead of cutting like she usually does, she patiently waited. But it seems she couldn't hold out and literally pissed herself! Cleaning crews were quietly brought in and Parasite was escorted to her room.

What a nasty slut! God, I wish there were pictures of this.

In other Hilton gossip, Kathy Hilton has been heard telling friends that Paris Latsis was never good for her daughter because he didn't work. Like that bitch works?! I hardly call laying on your back and receiving cock, work!

[Page Six]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Connie Chung

[For Jason]

Birthday Sluts

Tiffany (34)
Camilla Belle (19)
Efren Ramirez (22)
Kelly Ripa (35)
Lorraine Braco (51)
Annie Leibovitz (56)