Dlisted: 10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this nose!

Congrats to Kristi for being the first to get it right!

Blonde isn't working for Mary J. Blige...



Damn Mary! Not Today!!!

[Lime-Light]

Those Hilton sisters are fucking sluts!

The Hilton sisters claim to be friends of Mary-Kate Olsen. But, Paris Hilton has started to date Mary-Kate's ex-boyfriend Stavros and now Nicky Hilton seems to be dating MK's other ex-boyfriend David Katzenburg. This shit is like Melrose Place. All of these bitches swap boyfriends! Fucking key parties in Hollywood are probably so strange.



[JJB]

My Little Pony hates the word "Fat"!

Sarah Jessica Parker hates the word "Fat". She apparently won't let her son use the world at all.

She said: "I've forbidden the word 'fat' to be used in our home because I don't like the way it's used and I don't want him to ever use that word."

Ok, either this slut is certifiably crazy or she's fucking lying. It's not possible to not use the word fat. It's just not. Everyone uses it and they always will. This bitch has control issues. If she wanted to save her son from ugliness she'd save him from every watching her in Life Without Dick.

[Entertainment IE]

Unbeweavable!

Sharon Stone is in Paris and looks like she's back to those ridiculous extensions. I used to think this bitch was so fucking hot and now she just scares me. She's holding onto 30 years old with all her fucking might. Let go bitch and drop the Parasite Hilton hair!





[Lime-Light]

Kate Moss on W Magazine



W Magazine has stuck by Kate Moss and kept her on the cover of their November issue.

W said: "She has shown courage by taking steps to deal with her personal problems and it is only natural that we would support someone that we regard as a friend."

Kate was booked to grace the cover long before her coke problems. Kate is currently in rehab.

That's hot, it's nice to see somebody standing by this bitch.

[Hindustian Times]

Skank Parade

Kimberly Stewart and Paris Hilton got down and dirty at Tao in Las Vegas the other night. They look like fucking fools! But at least Paris is back to the short hair. I would give anything to see those two bitches fall!









[JJB]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



"Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" - Markus

Hot Slut of the Day!



Ayumi Hamasaki

Birthday Sluts



Matt Damon (35)
Nick Cannon (25)
Kristanna Loken (26)
Soon-Yi Previn (35)
Jeremy Davies (36)
Emily Procter (37)
Sigourney Weaver (56)
Chevy Chase (62)
Paul Hogan (66)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Say Something Nice

Jocelyn Wildenstein: Um...err...um...golly gee....um...hmm...wow...um...that's a nice shade of pink lipstick!

Somewhere in America Zellweger is bawling her eyes out!



Jack White and his wife Karen Elson are expecting a baby. Jack announced to his family and friends that Karen was due to give birth this spring.

Damn, maybe that's why Renee has been acting so sad and shit. She should've married his ass when she had the chance.

Do you think when Zellweger cries, her eyes actually invert into her head?

[Oh No They Didn't]

Do you really want to snort me?

That silly queen, Boy George was arrested today in NYC on drug charges. Boy George, 44, called the police this morning from his Little Italy apartment to report a burglary. When police arrived they found a small amount of cocaine near a computer. A woman at the apartment told police there was more cocaine lying about here and there.

A former spokesman for Boy George's autobiographical musical "Taboo," which closed last year, said he did not know whether the singer had a spokesman or lawyer.

Dayum! He doesn't have a spokeswhore! This bitch is broke and fucking stupid. He's too old to be doing that kind of shit. I thought he was sober!

[ABC News]

Chestica & Nick playing it up!



This was taken at London's Heathrow airport, today. Please, you know as soon as they got out of eye sight from the public, they fucking pulled away from each other and shit. She looks like shit!

The Piggy Olympics!

Every year I look forward to the piggy competitions in China. There are several. This one was held October 1st in Hefei. The pigs compete in sports such as running, hurdling, diving and swimming. They are fucking hot. They should've entered Tara Reid, that bitch would've finally won something!





[Yahoo News]

Guess the Celebrity: Advanced Edition



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these lips!

Congrats to Tracy for being the first to get it right!

A Pair of Manorexics

What in Nicole Richie happened to Richard Greico?!? He looks like a frog. 21 Anorexic Street more like it. I'd still hit it.



I personally think Carson Daly looks better, all of you bitches are going to disagree with me. I'd still hit it!



[Pics: A Socialite's Life]

Yup, she still looks ugly drunk!



[The Stranger] [Thanks to Brian]

"Hold onto my shirt honey"

HoHan's father, Michael Lohan is speaking out about his daughter's new single Confessions of a Broken Heart. The song (which you know HoHan didn't write) is a song from a daughter to a father. The lyrics go:

I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater/ I dream of another you, the one who would never (never)/ Leave me alone to pick up the pieces/ A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed/ (So) why'd you have to go … / Daughter to father, daughter to father/ I don't know you, but I still want to

That shit is garbage! Have you heard this fucking song?! It sounds like a Meat Loaf ballad meets a Lifetime Original Movie theme song. It sucks!

But Michael Lohan is touched by it. He says:
"The lyrics not only brought me to tears, but they tell you what kind of a loving and caring daughter Lindsay truly is,"

Michael Lohan is currently in the fucking slammer for
drunken driving, contempt of court and beating his brother-in-law bloody with a shoe. He's a winner.

He went with his love letter to HoHan:
"Hold onto my shirt honey, soon enough you'll be able to hold on to me!… While the media and press love to cover Lindsay enjoying her life and successes, I hope now they will cover the kind of heart this beautiful and gifted young lady really has."

This kind of creeps me out just a little. Gross! I really hope he's not beating off to that song! He's so like Joe Simpson to me.

[Daily Dish]

Note to Andie: If you see Sinead..run for your life!




Sinead O'Connor
seriously wants to take a pair of scissors to Andie McDowell's hair! Sinead can't stand those L'Oreal commercials with Andie in them!

She said: "I absolutely hate those hair commercials she's done. They drive me crazy. She looks so prim and proper.

"If I ever get the opportunity to meet her, I'm going to shave all her hair off."

Holy shit! That's a fucking threat! Me thinks Sinead is like one of those lil' boys at the playground. She's tormenting the one that she loves. You know she has a shrine to Andie McDowell in her basement. And she wants to cut off her hair to add this to her fucking shrine so she can rub Andie's hair and her gina can become one!

[Contact Music]

Paris Hilton in 2 years!



[JJB]

Cameron Diaz: The British are Sluts!

Ok we know Sadie Frost is a slut, as is Sienna Miller and Jude Law is the biggest of them all, but that doesn't mean ALL British bitches are hobags. But Cameron Diaz thinks so. In her new flick In Her Shoes Cameron Diaz plays a man-stealing slut! But she insists that in real life she is all about loyalty and monogamy, unlike the British.

She said: "The British are good at that - they pass around partners as if it was popcorn in a movie.

"I saw 10 minutes of LOVE ACTUALLY the other day and I was like, 'Oh my God, he's in love with his friend's wife!'" .


"I have English friends - and every time I show up, that person is now with that person and that person is now with that person. I don't get it."


Somebody get this bitch a lobotomy stat! She's fucking braindead!

[Times of India]

Lost in Translation



Tommy Lee
once made a claim that Tara Reid could out drink him under the table! Back in August Tommy said:

"Tara Reid. She's out of her fucking mind. She's crazy." .

He's got that right. But, Tara who is ashamed of her party girl reputation, has laughed off those claims.

She responds, "I'm going to kill him for saying that. "Honestly, do you really think I could out-drink a member of Motley Crue? . They're the biggest rock band in the world! Even I wouldn't give myself that much credit." .

I think Tommy was totally misquoted. I think what he really said was:

"That Tara Reid drank me while under the table." Ewwwww

[Female First]

Can we get a recount?



How can Jessica Biel be Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive? I'm not even sure she's a woman, let alone alive. But Esquire is like for grandpas right? Then I guess this makes sense. Shit, I even think Eartha Kitt is sexier than this bitch!

A Doll's Life

Brit Brit Spears looks like she's thinking of more ways to bring in the dough. She has reportedly approached Mattel about turning her family into dolls. She hopes that the toymaker will consider making doll versions of herself, Kfed and baby Sean Preston. She EVEN wants toy version of her mother, dad, brother and sister. Get this shit, she doesn't stop there! She's also hoping they would turn her Malibu home, pink hummer, her yacht and dogs into miniatures.

A source said: "There is already a Britney Spears Barbie doll but it has proved so popular, there's talk of producing an entire Britney Spears family. They are bound to be huge in the States".

Dlisted has received this exclusive picture of a prototype of the new Britney doll:



[Anorak]

Aliens don't cry!



I hope this bitch is getting an extra Mil for this shit! Katie Holmes will of course have to go without pain medication during the birth of her child. Well, because Tom Cruise worships aliens. And get this shit, Katie will also not be allowed to scream during labor - AT ALL. Oh hell naw!

This shit is fucked up! Practitioners of Scientology are against drugs and screaming, because they believe it's traumatic for babies to hear their mothers scream!

"Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go," church founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in his best-selling "Dianetics."

So you can't scream and you can't get drugged up? Can she hit or shoot at a bitch? These Scientology bitches are straight-up crazy! They believe women are fucking robots!

[Daily Dish] [Thanks to SarahM]

Jeff Probst no longer a Survivor!



Reports are that Jeff Probst will make this Survivor (Guatemala) his last one as host. He is reportedly sick of traveling and is eager to settle down with his girlfriend Julie Berry, a former contestant, whom he began dating last year. CBS is considering replacing Jeff with a former contestant as host.

Other sources say that Jeff's contract is up after the 12th edition of Survivor. We're currently on our 11th.

This bitch is an idiot if he leaves! Survivor is his cash cow. He's so going to The Surreal Life next!

[Reality Blurred]

The Dlisted Report

Julianna Marguiles, Rita Wilson and Michelle Trachtenburg have all signed for Chad Lowe's directorial debut. His film called Beautiful Ohio will star William Hurt. The early 1970s coming-of-age tale centers on a teenager (newcomer Brett Davern) who feels he is in the shadow of his idealized older brother (David Call). Wilson and Hurt play the boys' parents, with Margulies cast as a seductive next door neighbor and Trachtenberg as Call's girlfriend. Shooting already began this past Monday in Brooklyn. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Vh1 has a new reality show premiering October 30th. But Can They Sing? will follow each week contestants as they undergo training with two vocal coaches and a movement-dance instructor to prepare for their performance in front of a live studio audience. Viewers will cast their votes each week with the lowest number of votes going home. The winner will receive a donation to their favorite charity. The celebrities involved are: Joe Pantoliano, Morgan Fairchild, Kim Alexis, Carmine Gotti , Antonio Sabato Jr., Larry Holmes, Bai Ling, Michael Copon and Myrka Dellanos. [AP Wire]

It's about that time to cancel some shows! Just Legal starring Don Johnson on The WB has been canned. Production has been shut down on Inconceivable with NBC expecting to cancel it shortly. Over at FX, Starved has also been cancelled. [Cynthia's Cynopsis]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!



The perfect accessory this fall is a tiny human. This one was made in a small village in France called Ganagobie. You'll see people like Angelina Jolie carrying one this year. Tiny humans, it's a good thing - Glen

Hot Slut of the Day!



Fawn Hall

Birthday Sluts



Thom Yorke (37)
Shawn Ashmore (26)
Rachel McAdams (29)
Nicole Ari Parker (35)
Toni Braxton (38)
Simon Cowell (46)
Dylan Baker (46)
Yo-Yo Ma (50)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Since when is Parasite Hilton so fucking camera shy?

And I stand by my claim. She's the fucking worst dressed bitch in all the land! I love how in the second set of pics that woman is picking up her fucking purse for her!







[JJB]

What a Bratt!



Benjamin Bratt and his wife Talisa Soto (not pictured, because who really cares what she looks like) have given birth to a baby boy!

Mateo Bravery Bratt was born Monday in Los Angeles, weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces, said publicist Craig Bankey.

Mateo has an older sister named Sophia.

I bet you Benjamin is thanking the stars that he didn't have a baby with Julia or right now his son would be named Nicodemus or Bertha. Although, Bravery is a bit strange.

[Yahoo News]

Who's gayer? Elijah or the Sunflowers?



UPDATE - Somebody said in comments that a picture of Elijah smelling the sunflower would be more gayer than the sunflowers, themselves.



He's not smelling it, but pretty damn close. Is this gayer?

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these lips!

Congrats to catheter for being the first to get it!

Allegra Versace is here to take us to the gates of hell!

Seriously, give the bitch a 2 piece! These pics are from May, but I couldn't find any recent pictures of Allegra Versace. We joke around about Nicole Richie looking like death, but this bitch makes Nicole look like Star Jones pre-gastric bypass! Dayum, her mother is too coked up to do anything about it. Let's put our coins together and send this bitch a Lunchable!






UPDATE - Here's a couple more pics y'all sent me:

Kabbalah Recruiter!

Is Madge getting like 10% off for every new membership she brings in? Rumors have it that Madge has set her sights on Oprah joining the Kabbalah. Esther has sent Oprah several books and e-mails trying to educate her on all that is Kabbalah.

Madge knows that Oprah would be a huge BONUS in her court. Oprah's show is seen by nearly 9 Million bitches a day that would do anything she says!

Madge has also given Oprah exclusive access to her estate in England where she will talk about falling off a fucking horse.

Oprah knows better. Why join some other cult when you have one of your very own?

[Daily Dish]

Parasite Hilton is the WORST dressed bitch ever!



The Hiltons really do have nothing...

I'm confused...



I thought she was a pony..shouldn't she be on the cover of Hollywood Pony? That dog is hot shit!

Smack that ass!



Although this video is a few years old, I've never seen it! It's a slim looking Janet Jackson sunbathing nekkid in the privacy of her own backyard. The best part is when she smacks her ass several times. Damn, these celebs have no privacy! Bitch couldn't you have fixed that hole in our fence?

Watch the video!

[A Socialite's Life]



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