Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this hand!

Nobody got it right!

What the hell kind of GD outfit is that?!

Is Kimora Lee Simmons a dude? Can someone confirm this? No self-respecting woman would wear practically head-to-toe animal print. Unless you're Joan Collins and the year is 1982. She put the ack in tacky!

Skating with Celebrities - Two Teams Down!

So, my source at Fox's Skating with Celebrities has told me that another couple has been let go.

Click here if you want to be spoiled!

How is that Ashlee Simpson is famous?

Jordan's trampoline sex!

Jordan the tramp loves trampoline sex!

"I've got a trampoline in the garden and I've christened that". "When me and Pete visited the Maldives, we did it in a hammock. That was great and really exciting - you can hear people walking not far away. It was scary, but good!".

Forgive me, I'm not virgin..but how does one or two do the nasty on a trampoline? Wouldn't that shit slip out while you're bouncing? I guess it takes practice. Jordan has nothing else to do, so it's no wonder that she's good at one thing at least!

[HT Tabloid]

Madonna - Hung Up

Here is a dance remix from Madge's latest single Hung Up which isn't expected to be released until late this month. Nothing special, but thought some of you bitches might like it.

UPDATE - I got some letter from Warner Bros. telling me they would sue my ass if I didn't take the song down!

Some things don't last forever, well not even a year!

It's official! Paris Hilton has called it quits with Paris Latsis. We have been speculating this shit for weeks now. She issued an official statement:

"I'm sad to announce that I've called off my engagement. Over the last couple months I've realized that this is the right decision for me. We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him. I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time,"

Translation: "I want new dick!"

I mean come on, is this really a surprise? His family thought she was trash, which she is...and can a slut like her really commit? Not!

[ABC News]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

No clear winner today!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Irene from The Real World: Los Angeles

[For Bryan]

Birthday Sluts

Julie Andrews (70)
Jamelia (24)
Blu Cantrell (29)
Heather Hunter (36)
Cindy Margolis (40)
Esai Morales (43)
Randy Quaid (55)

How did Fantasia write a book when she can't even read!

Fantasia Barrino, the winner of American Idol 3 has a memoir coming out called Life is Not a Fairytale and she can't read or write! She had to dictate her story to someone! She also hid this embarrassing fact all through American Idol.

She said: "You're illiterate to just about everything. You don't want to misspell,"

"So that, for me, kept me in a box and I didn't, wouldn't come out."

"I was so ashamed and I was like, 'What will people say about me?' I can't get a job,"

On American Idol, she couldn't read the music so she had to fake her way through it!

"Somebody would say, 'You know, it's pronounced this way' and I'd be like, 'Oh, I'm sorry, you know, I'm country, you know."

Thankfully most of the songs she knew, but the ones she didn't she would just memorize the lyrics when her vocal coach sang them.

I know this shit is sad, but it's still funny. But she's rich now, so she's getting the last laugh! Even if she can't read her paychecks! Don't worry bitch, Paris Hilton did the same shit! She can't read or write and look at her!

[ABC News]

[Thanks to Rich]

Could Jude Law be Kate Moss' baby daddy?

Radar is reporting that there have been whispers in fashion circles for years that the real father of Lila-Grace is that of Jude Law and NOT Jefferson Hack. Jude Law had a few threesomes with Kate and his then wife Sadie Frost.

A friend of Sadie's said: "“Sadie and Kate are best, best friends, and Jude and Sadie were huge into couples swapping and orgies"

"They had group sex where absolutely everything was okay."

I guess you guys can be the judge. But I can't tell at all! Maybe coke is Lila's real father?

Click here to see pics of Jefferson Hack, Kate and Lila all together! Now go compare!

[Radar]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see this celeb all grown up!

Congrats to anonymous 2:34pm for being the first to get it right!

Finally some Posh pictures!

That beautiful piece of shit Posh Spice is in Italy shopping it up with Roberto Cavalli! Here she is trying to work a camera. That dumb bitch!



And here she is looking so gorgeous. That outfit is hot shit and those boots are even hotter! GD she's hot!


[Click to see full size]

[Lime-Light]

Desperate Housewives warning!

Marc Cherry, creator of DH, has warned viewers that this upcoming season something so heinous will happen to Bree Van De Kamp. If you remember last season, Bree sent her bi-sexual son to delinquent camp. And now that her husband is dead, her son will get revenge on her ass!

"It's about as bad as anything on TV. Andrew resents her tremendously. He's going to get back at her. "

"We've got something just hideous planned. I'm going to get letters."

Hopefully, it will include ripping Teri Snatcher's plastic face off!

[Contact Music]

What is Colin Farrell doing?

[Oh la la Paris]

Someone get Jesse a light already!

What's in those bags? Lots of beauty products for him to play with I'm sure! I'm thinking lots of Nads.

Sienna Miller's miscarriage?

There were many rumors swirling that Sienna Miller was pregnant with Jude Law's baby and that's kind of what's been keeping them together. But sources say that Sienna has had a miscarriage. She has reportedly told her close family and friends of this unfortunate news.

Both Jude's and Sienna's camp have denied that she was ever pregnant and of course they also deny she's miscarried.

If this news is true, hopefully her mind will be busy while she's preparing to film the Edie Sedgwick biopic Factory Girl.

[Daily Dish]

Mimi wants a man!

Mimi is currently in London and looking to stay. But she's not only in London to live, but she's also man-huntin'! She told her friends that she's looking for a man while she's staying in England. She's heard that English men are true gentlemen and she needs her ass some of that.

I guess things with Jack the Terrier are rocky, so she's off to London to unbreak her heart!

[All Headline News]

Fuck Jennifer Love Hewitt! J.Lo is the real Ghost Whisperer!

Her man is the walking dead!

You know her dog hates her ass!

Get a facial honey, you're getting hitched!

Are Cammy Diaz and Justin Timberlake going to the chapel? The rumor is that the two are planning for a Christmastime wedding this year.

The couple have already invited 150 of their closest friends and family to celebrate the holidays with them in Hawaii. But some think that a secret wedding will take place instead.

A source close to the couple said: "They're not saying if there's going to be a marriage but said it will a time of new beginnings."
I pray it's one of those Christmas theme wedding! Cameron is perfect for Rudolph and Justin can be an annoying elf!

[Monsters and Critics]

The Worst Sex Scenes in History

Empire Film Magazine has named the worst sex scenes of all time, and here they are:

#1 - Swimming Pool Scene (Kyle McLaughlin & Elizabeth Berkeley) - Showgirls
#2 - Juliette Binoche & Jeremy Irons - Damage
#3 - Heather Graham & Joseph Fiennes - Killing Me Softly
#4 - Madonna & Willem Dafoe - Body of Evidence
#5 - Kathleen Turner - Crimes of Passion
#6 - Sharon Stone & Sylvester Stallone - The Specialist
#7 - Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck - Gigli
#8 - Josh Hartnett & Shannyn Sossamon - 40 Days and 40 Nights
#9 - Keanu Reeves & Carrie-Ann Moss - The Matrix Reloaded
#10 - Oliver Tobias & Joan Collins - The Stud

Ain't nobody gonna say anything bad about Showgirls! That sex scene was hot and that movie is perfection!!!!!

[Manchester Online]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH soon-to-be-divorced celebrity carries on a secret life in the apartment above his garage? His wife put up with his same-sex philandering for years, but she finally got annoyed with his long-term relationship with a singer staying above the garage.

I'm stuck

WHICH restaurateur was dumped by a very pretty Asian woman? She complained that clinching with him was like "being crushed by a boulder and getting stabbed by a No. 2 pencil all at once"

Rocco

WHICH handsome reality TV host rudely insulted two young ladies at the bar in the W Hotel in Times Square with ungentlemanly remarks about the girls' chests? He then called an escort service and was partying with a Russian call girl 20 minutes later.

Ty Pennington

Could this be the end for Tara Reid?

Friends of Tara Reid are extremely concerned for her. She has apparently went into a complete meltdown after E! dropped her show Taradise. She is also not getting any new offers. Tara has moved back to New York and told Steppin' Out magazine:

"How many more years are [the media] going to pick on me? There's other new young bad girls. Move on to someone else! . . . I need one more great movie role so they say, 'Wow, she can act! She's a great actress.' Then I think they'll leave me alone . . . If I'm going to try and do something, it has to happen this year. I'm not stupid."

"Listen, if I could get good movies, you would never see me going out. But when there's nothing to do, what am I supposed to do, just sit in my house and go crazy? But going out is not all I do.

"I'm just fed up. I just want a chance again. I want to show that I am an actress . . . I just wish a director would believe in me.

"The gossip reporters know the truth. They know they could write good things about me. They could write I'm a good person who is cleaning up her act. I am getting older, and I want different things in my life. I want to get married and have kids.

"I've had a million publicists, and they've done nothing for me . . . Publicists are supposed to fight for me and believe in me, and they don't do that. They don't!

"I thought 'Taradise' was going to help me . . . I wanted to show the whole world the truth — I'm fun . . . But do I think it was cut like that? No. It could have been a better show . . . I didn't want to look like a total party-girl drug retard. I think the shots they show aren't fair."

I really want to feel sorry for her. But she did this shit to herself! She gives the gossips something to talk and write about it and you know she loves it. If somebody was calling me a drunk in every fucking paper and I didn't like it, I just wouldn't get drunk anymore. Duh! Looks like Tara's 15-minutes are up.

Expect her on The Surreal Life next!

[Page Six]

Skating with Celebrities

I know some of you are reality tv junkies like I am, so you may like this piece of information. A reader tells me they are currently shooting Skating with Celebrities for Fox. I know that shit sounds like it sucks and it might, but I'll still watch that shit!

Anyhow, a reader tells me that the first couple has already been eliminated.

So if you want to be spoiled, Click here

The Dlisted Report

Mike Meyers has signed on to play The Who's Keith Moon in yet another rock star biopic. Roger Daltrey is producing. Moon's penchant for destroying drum sets while bandmate Pete Townshend smashed his guitars helped to forge The Who's rebellious image. Moon was just as wild offstage and the lunacy nearly overshadowed an instinctive power drumming skill that fueled The Who. The hard living caught up to Moon, who died in 1978. [Variety]

Renee Zellweger is a busy woman. She will most likely star in a US remake of The Eye. Variety says the new version is envisioned as a psychological horror film about a girl who sees more than she bargained for when she regains her vision after a cornea transplant. [Variety]

Cherry Jones and Ralph Fiennes will star in Brian Friel's Faith Healer. Performances will begin this spring on Broadway at the Booth Theater. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

I thought Johnny Damon played in center field? - Anonymous 2:59pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Gozer from Ghosbusters

Birthday Sluts

Monica Bellucci (41)
Lacey Chabert (23)
Kieran Culkin (23)
Jenna Elfman (34)
Eric Stoltz (44)
Crystal Bernard (44)
Fran Drescher (48)
Angie Dickinson (74)

Motherfuckers!

Ok, so looks like I've had tons of traffic lately so I've reached the limit on my server. So things are looking fucked for a second. But I'm rehosting everything. Sorry sluts!

xoxoxoMichael K

UPDATE - Ok, this shit is fixed temporarily! I guess I didn't pay the electric bill. You know how we do it. Just kidding! So, I exceeded my bandwidth for the month, but the new month is almost here. So any of you who access the site through dlisted.com might have a bit of an issue. But it'll all be good soon, I promise. And then we'll do it Tara Reid style!

UPDATE #2 - Ok, everything is back to normal! Those bitches gave me more bandwidth. So thanks for putting up with this skankness for a moment!

Per Your Request: Wentworth Miller

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the grown-up celeb!

Congrats to ffleur for being the first to get it right!

The Art of Retouching

My friend Brian sent me the following site. And I spent a good 10 minutes having fun with this shit. Basically, it's the portfolio of some retoucher. But you can pass your cursor over each pic and watch Vivica Fox go from brown to orange! Voila!

Click here to create magic!

[Thanks Bryan]

Ricky Martin is butching it up!

The goatee, the dirt..is Ricky Martin trying to tell us something? Reader Mike sent me in some great screenshots from Ricky's newest video for I Don't Care. I was going to post the song, but it fucking sucks! Looks like Ricky is trying to get away from his Vida Loca days. He's hot. And in the last pic Ricky is totally imagining a huge dong in his mouth!



[Thanks Mike]

Alicia Silverstone is looking rough!

She'll always be Cher from Clueless to me!

Is this the real reason for Renee's heartbreak?

Sources are saying that the reason reason for the end of the road for Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger has to do with Colts quarterback Petyon Manning.

They are both nasty! You know Renee expected to get DPed by them, but instead they went at each other!

[Popbitch]

The Moss is in the tank!

Kate Moss is in Arizona currently attending rehab. Last week several people spotted her shopping in Scottsdale. Now two newspapers confirm that she is at The Meadows Clinic where she will spend the next 30-days.

A spokeswhore for Kate declined to comment.

Can you imagine being in rehab with Kate fucking Moss? That would be really hot. Because like a lot of us have said here, I've never heard the bitch speak. I would just die of anticipation waiting to here one word come out of her mouth. Then I'd slap her silly for no reason!

[Los Angeles Times]

Titties all around!

[JJB]

Mimi is so into beastiality!

Mimi's Jack Russell Terrier, cleverly named Jack loves taking baths with her ass!

"If I'm running a bath all of a sudden I'll hear a splash and Jack will have jumped into the tub.

It's something that has been happening for ages - it's like, 'It's like Jack is in the tub again, swimming around."

You know she lets him swim right between her thighs too! And Mimi went on to embarrass herself more:

"His favorite toy is a jet - like the ones you find in pools and hot-tubs."

So is mine Jack, so is mine...

[Monsters and Critics]

HoHan to show her HooHa!

HoHan will bare all for Vanity Fair magazine. How Demi of her!? The 19yo is proud of her new and more healthy body and is happy to show it off for the cover. HoHan shot the cover last week in Malibu on the beach. Ewww sand in the coochie!

A source said: "It was Paris Hilton's recent Vanity Fair cover, where she's topless and covering her breasts with her arms, that inspired Lindsay to push the envelope even further."

Great, when Paris Hilton inspires you..you know you're a fucking slut!

[National Ledger]

Tea Leoni is a Jedi!

And a hot mom!

A beautiful spring pony!

Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong will marry this Spring at the Baccara Resort in Santa Barbara, CA. That's where Bennifer 1.0 were supposed to get hitched! Copy cats! Sheryl is expected to wear Ralph Lauren!

She's also expected to gallop down the aisle pulling Lance in a beautiful white carriage!

They are registered for carrots and sugar cubes!

[Page Six]

Starlette Jones will eat E!

Star Jones is done with her hosting duties as the new red carpet queen for E! Viewers hated this bitch as did plenty of network executives. Her contract was only for one year and they will not be picking her up again. Good mittens! However, Star claims that the decision was fully hers. Yeah right, bitch got dumped!

Star said she'll be too busy promoting her book Shine: A Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love. Wait, this bitch is actually writing a book about finding love? There are just too many jokes here to pick just one!

An insider claims that E! had been planning not to continue her contract for ages. And Star is a liar!

The source then snickered, "Do you think Star would give up good money and a load of freebies from the goody bags and the dresses for a book? No way."
Yeah they got a point there.

I also love at this past Emmys, how Star didn't even acknowledge Kathy Griffin. That shit was hot. Whoever reads Star's piece of shit book, let me know ASAP! I'm not going to read that mess, but I applaud anybody that does!

[Page Six]

Is Fishsticks preggers?

PerezHilton reported yesterday that Fishsticks Paltrow is pregnant with her second child with Chris Martin. It's purely speculation and nothing has been confirmed. If the bitch is pregnant, she better name that shit Fishsticks Jr. or I'm going to be pissed!

P.S. - I wish the hands in this photo would squeeze a lil' harder!

[PerezHilton]

The Dlisted Report

Renee Zellweger will play Beatrix Potter in a new biopic called Miss Potter. Ewan McGregor may join as the male lead. Miss Potter explores the life of the author of such beloved children's books as "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" and her struggle for independence in Victorian England. The live-action film will have some animated elements. It will be directed by Babe helmer, Chris Noonan. [Variety]

Nancy Meyers of Something's Gotta Give fame will direct Holiday. Cameron Diaz is already signed to the project with Kate Winslet looking to hop aboard. The Columbia Pictures film, which also is written and produced by Meyers, centers on an American woman (Diaz) with man troubles who crosses paths with a British villager (Winslet) with similar problems. Shooting begins next year. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Adam Shankman will direct the big-screen version of the Broadway musical Hairspray. Adam is currently wrapping up filming on Cheaper by the Dozen 2. John Travolta and Queen Latifah look likely to star as Edna Turnblad and Motormouth Mabelle. Production will begin next year in Baltimore for a 2007 release. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Ok this is seriously in bad taste, but I couldn't stop laughing! It's just a joke!

I knew they'd find that girl in Aruba, sooner or later! - Jeff

Hot Slut of the Day!

Kiki Shepard

[For KK]

Birthday Sluts

Roger Bart (43)
Nathan West (27)
Erika Eleniak (36)
Tom Sizemore (44)
Andrew Dice Clay (47)
Ian McShane (63)

Too much of everything!

HoHan's in NYC today shooting some video for some song that she can't really sing to. But more importantly, what is this bitch wearing? That ain't even right unless you're a 9yo girl in a ballet recital. And don't get me started and that hair and make-up! I know it's a video but America's favorite pastime is trashing HoHan! DAYUM!

Bow Wow is not hot....

But he's buff as shit!

La Richie Channels Twiggy

She kind of looks like a crazy alien, but I'm into that shit! She looks hot as shit!





Click here to see the rest!

The Happy White Trash Family!

Why does Kevin Federline have boobs? And is he pregnant now? I'm so confused!?

I don't need this today!

[Pic: CAFP]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the real bitch!

Congrats to Anonymous 2:45pm for being the first to get it!

EXCLUSIVE!!!

Here is a picture of HERPES being passed from one mouth to another! Scientists finally have the data they need to possibly combat this dreadful disease!



I guess those crazy kids are still together.

HoHan shows some skin and loves Red Bull!!

[JJB]

Goin' to California

Angelina Jolie is selling her home in England and heading for California to be with her girlfriend, Brad Pitt. Angie has put her home on the market for around $4 Million. She is planning to take Maddox and Zahara to Malibu where Brad lives only 3 blocks away from Jennifer Aniston.

Brad is making his home child-friendly. Um, isn't that what nannies are for?

Brad has also put on an apron and baked a delicious apple pie for the new man in his life!

[Softpedia]

Tara Reid is an IDIOT!!!

Here's what the dumb bitch had to say to FHM about the "boob falling out" incident:
"People act like it was the worst crime in the world. It was a mistake, you know!"

"But you would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi!

"My hooters are under control. I'm taped up now, totally. I'm using double tape. Double double tape. My boobs are going nowhere again."

I don't think people were making a big deal because her boob fell out. They were making a big deal because were tit was straight-up nasty! It was like fraken-titty!

Tara also confirmed that Playboy has offered her millions to pose nude. Why? We've all seen that shit and it don't even belong in Screw!

[Ananova]

Benjamin MacKenzie IS NOT wearing UGGS!?!

That's really not right!

J.Lo loves baby head!

Get your mind of out of the gutter! Not like that! Jennifer Lopez had to get specific when choosing the fragrance of her latest perfume "Live."

She said: "They were like, 'Let's get specific, what smells intrigue you right now?' and I was like, 'Well, babies. The smell of a babies head, you know, the way the top of their heads smell.' .

"Then I think I said warm yellow cake and a redcurrant candle I had at home, and they went away to experiment with those things and see what they could come up with." .

So let me get this...Live smells like a baby rolling around in cake? That must smell rank!

[Monsters and Critics]

Chestica Simpson is the devil!

That happens to me all the time too in pictures. I guess I'm the devil too! Yippeee!!!

The Willis is a good father!

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were allegedly married over the weekend in a Kabbalah ceremony at Demi's home in Beverly Hills. They almost had it at the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles, but Bruce protested this! He has complete respect for Ashton and Demi following any kind of religion they want, but doesn't want his kids involved in that shit!

A source said: "Bruce's feelings are that Demi and Ashton can do whatever they want with their personal and religious lives. .

"But he puts down his foot when it comes to his daughters and does not want them visiting the Kabbalah Centre".

Where was Madge? Isn't she like the Queen of Kabbalah? Shouldn't she of been at the wedding to grace all her Kabbalah powers on the happy couple?

[MSNBC]

Bag Ladies of Hollywood

Valentino is at it again! First he said Paris Hilton was "tacky and has nothing" and now he's going after Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts. He thinks those bitches are frumpy! Duh!

He said: "Today you see Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz running around looking unkempt in jogging trousers, they look like bag ladies, like homeless people. In the past you never saw that,"

"In the past, actresses had to commit in their contracts to appear in public like stars when they left their homes,"

This bitch is living in the past! Times have changed. Sure I like my stars dressed up, but I also know that we're living in a new day. Things are much more casual and I don't expect bitches to dress up to go to the store.

And also normal people want their celebrities to be more like them. They are more accessible that way. I would like nothing more than to see Julia Roberts dressed up all the time, but I fucking know that's not feasible!

[Yahoo News]

Anna Nicole goes Supreme!

Anna Nicole's gold-digging trial for the estate of her late-husband is going all the way to the Supreme Court! Backstory:

Anna Nicole Smith married Texas billionaire E. Pierce Marshall back in 1994 when she was 26 and he was 89. He died a year later. He didn't leave her in his will, but she said that he had promised her money.

So in 2000, a judge awarded her $474 Million! But in 2002 on an appeal, that amount was changed to $88.6 Million. But in 2004, another court threw it out completely!!!

So now it's going all the way. Anna accuses her late-husband's son of destroying documents and writing her out of the will!

Will this bitch just give it a rest? She was married to him for not even a year and she was barely with him half the time. She has all the money she needs. I can only imagine her with that kind of money. That'd be such a tacky affair. OMG on second thought, give her the money pronto! I need someone to outdo Jordan in every way!

[Page Six]

Jennifer Garner slips!

One of my readers, Brittanie, wrote me about Jennifer Garner's appearance on Jay Leno last night. Apparently she slipped the sex of her baby with Ben Affleck. She said that they were "girling up the nursery." So unless they plan for their baby to be a big, ole' queen - she's having a girl!

She should totally name her La Lopez. That would be hot.

[Thanks Brittanie]

I love you Bernie!

One of my favorites, Bernadette Peters suffered a major loss on Monday. Her husband of almost 10 years, Michael Witternberg, was killed in a helicopter crash while on business in Montenegro.

My heart and thoughts go out to Bernie during this terrible time! She's super hot and will no doubt come out much stronger after all of this!

OMG, I watch too much Oprah!

[Playbill]

Dallas casting news!

Things on the big-screen version of Dallas are heating up. A rewrite of the script by Robert Harling (Steel Magnolias) is due to be turned in soon. And once that happens casting will start to unfold. Robert Luketic has already signed to direct.

John Travolta already seems likely to play the lead role of J.R. Ewing. But other sources are saying that studio has already started talks with Mel Gibson. Mel hasn't completely ruled the idea out. Kevin Costner needs to see the rewrite before he takes anything seriously. Tommy Lee Jones is the latest name to surface, but all bets seem to be on Travolta taking on the role.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is being actively pursued for the role of Sue Ellen. But lately Demi Moore and Jennifer Lopez have come up as possibilities for the role made famous by Linda Gray.

And in the role of Bobby Ewing played by Patrick Duffy, Matthew McConaughey and Owen Wilson are being sought after. With Owen being the one they are focusing on.

Pamela Ewing played by Victoria Principal may see either Drew Barrymore or Reese Witherspoon. And finally the role of Lucy played by Charlene Tilton may see Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson or Mandy Moore.

The producers are also seeking Jane Fonda for the role of Miss Ellie.

This is all of course speculation, but producers and the studio are seeking an all-star cast for this production. Shooting will begin next year.

[Coming Soon]

The Dlisted Report

Michael Clarke Duncan is the latest actor to join School for Scroundrels. He will join the already mentioned Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Heder and Jacinda Barrett. Duncan would play Lesher, a cohort of Thornton's character. Jacinda Barrett already has signed on for the project, which centers on a down-on-his-luck meter maid (Heder) who enrolls in a confidence-building class in order to woo the girl of his dreams. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Jason Biggs and Isla Fisher will star in The Pleasure of Your Company. The story follows the struggles of a confused young man who marries a complete stranger after he inadvertently kills his girlfriend in a surprise marriage proposal. The woman is tired of playing it safe, so when Anderson asks her to marry him, she figures the time is right to take a leap before looking. Production starts November in New York. [Dark Horizons]

Kirsten Dunst has confirmed the two villians for Spider-Man 3. Thomas Haden Church will play Sandman with Topher Grace playing Venom. Shooting begins this January. [Dark Horizons]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Beauty queens argue whether China White or Columbian Gold is the best. - BrendaLove

Hot Slut of the Day!

Julie Brown

Birthday Sluts

Bam Margera (26)
Hilary Duff (18)
Dita Von Teese (33)
Gwyneth Paltrow (33)
Naomi Watts (37)
Mira Sorvino (38)
Janeane Garofolo (41)

Denise Richards's new show is a piece of shit!

Who watched Sex, Love and Secrets last night on UPN? If you are thinking about it, don't! It was the biggest piece of shit since Ishtar! It made Passions look like Shakespeare in the Park! It's about a bunch of fuck ups that live in Silver Lake together. The big secret of the first episode is that one of the women is keeping her dead ex-boyfriend's ashes in a paint can under the sink, as she doesn't want her current boyfriend to find out. What the fuck?

Denise Richards is hot shit though. She overacts and chews the hell out of the scenary. She plays the self-proclaimed bitch "Jolene" (the first white trash bitch!) who thinks she's Joan Collins. There's one hot scene where she busts into a kitchen and orders breakfast for her "client" Kevin Bacon. She tells the cook to make something "low carb, with no bacon."

The only other redeeming factor is that the main guy is hot and has some stomach fat, which is refreshing to see in our body fascist society. Otherwise, this shit sucked! Denise better file for unemployment now!

UPDATE - This review is from the point of Lahoma00! I personally think this show was so fucking hot. Denise was absolutely amazing. You know that when Denise Richards is the best actress on your show that there's problems. I thought the voice-overs sucked, but everything else was hot. It's like a cheap Melrose Place! - Michael K

DOUBLE UPDATE: I agree with Michael K that Denise is hot shit. However, the rest of the show sucked. Let's just watch Denise for an hour! -Lahoma00

Dakota Fanning haunts my dreams!

I had a nightmare last night--about Dakota Fanning taking over the world! In my dream, I was living in Chicago and was best friends with Patrick Dempsey (who is hot shit). Dakota had already begun her plan to take over the world by brainwashing the writing team of One Life To Live to do her bidding. Then she set up shop in a mall, where she was using her reality warping powers to kill anyone that came near her! Patrick Dempsey and I infiltrated the mall, as we planned to kill Dakota and liberate the world from evil! Before we could get to her, Dakota locked us in the mall with some fat man, a business woman that looked like Elaine Stritch and a Cambodian manicurist! Then she killed them! At that point, my lazy ass took over and I told Patrick Dempsey that I was over this shit and gonna go shop for butter knives. I left him to take care of Dakota!

What does this shit mean? Does it mean I'm gay?

Say Something Nice

Paris Hilton: Um...she can out-pose a porn star any day!!!

Still a dog, but...

This is the best I've seen Kimberly Stewart look. She's still nasty and a skank, but maybe she had some eye work or something?

Don't get me wrong...

Ryan Phillipe is fine and shit. But I'm so sick of that fucking sideways cap shit!! I'd still hit it.

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the real celeb!

Congrats to Kristi (YET AGAIN) for being the 1st one to get it right!

Pete Doherty is a wreck!

[For Brenda Love]

Does Rene Russo ever age?!

At last night's Two for the Money premiere. She's near perfection!

Vintage Mimi and is that Lil' Kim?!?

[Thanks to Monique for pic]

Which rumored gay celeb totally need to wave their rainbow flag, already?

Surprise! 51% of the votes went to Tom Cruise. I personally was voting for Al Reynolds!

Thanks to all who voted!

How can she possibly out-SLUT herself?

Paris Hilton has big plans for the video for her new and unnamed single off of her debut album which has been pushed back for months now. Paris probably hasn't even recorded the fucking song and she's already planning the video. But she promises it will be a sexy affair!

"It will [definitely have] a lot of sexiness," "If I did a [fast-food] commercial that hot, imagine what I can do with my own video."

We've seen her fuck, we've seen her clean a fucking car in her underwear, now what? She's going to fuck Tinkerbell on camera. That's it. Either that or she's going to shock us all and actually cover her skanky ass up!

[The Bosh]

HoHan admits she looked nasty!

HoHan confirms what we were all saying that she got too thin!

"I was going through a rough time, and I probably wasn't taking care of myself - I wasn't," she said.

"I want to encourage young girls to not get to that point."

"A Rough Time" translates into "I was doing lots of coke" and "not taking care of myself" means "I was a straight up crack ho!"

HoHan has also revealed that she misses having tits and cleavage. She is desperately trying to pack on some more weight so she can have a respectable nipple slip like any other Hollyweird Starlet!

[One News]

Faces of Death

Is this SPF?

Madge to play Japan!

Madge will play Japan after a 20 year absence to promote her newest album Confessions from a Dance Floor. You know those Japanese bitches will eat it up! Madge is planning an all-out arsenal of publicity to promote this album. Her team and label believe this is going to be a winner!

Madge will debut the single at the MTV Europe Awards this November. They have pushed back the shooting of the video as well, so that she can be well enough to dance after the dumb bitch fell off a horse!

In other Madge news, her poor hubby Guy Ritchie totally forgot his wife's name! During a talk show, Guy was asked what her full name was? To which he replied: "Er... er..."

Finally, another guest decided to help him and gave him the answer. Guy agreed: "Yes, Louise Ciccone."

I would've said: "How can I remember that dumb cunt's name!?! She changes it like everyday! Madonna, Esther, Dita, Louise, GD! "

[Contact Music] and [Scotsman News]

Melania Knauss secures her fortune!

Melania Knauss, wife to Donald Trump has secured her fortune and is pregnant with a baby! 59-year-old Donald Trump currently has 3 kids with Ivana Trump and 1 with Marla Maples. Melania and Donald were married back in January. This will be her first child. A spokesperson confirmed that she is indeed carrying, but wouldn't give anymore details. It seems she is due sometime in the Spring.

This is the smartest thing this bitch could do! Well the second smartest thing, the first being her marriage to his ass. I love Melania so much! This bitch is super hot and the fact that she can hardly speak English is even hotter!

[Yahoo News]

Charlotte Lurch: How you DON'T want to see her!

Naomi speaks out for Kate!

Naomi Campbell is speaking out for her friend Kate Moss. I'm surprised she's speaking about it and not beating a bitches ass about it.

She said: "Kate Moss is my friend. I think it's like everybody is being bad to her. It's not the first time it has happened in the world. It's really like a vendetta." .

Naomi has also threatened to kill a bitch that messes with Kate. That's why Rimmel decided not to pull her contract.

But, there's good news! Kate has been offered $5 Million to model for an online gambling company called Nine.com.

A spokesperson for the company said: "We believe in giving people who have been affected by both seen and unforeseen circumstances a second chance. "

But that money won't come easy. It's a five-year contract and Kate would have to enter rehab and then go on a 2-month retreat at the company's headquarters in Costa Rica. Yeah I know what kind of retreat that is! They are going to coke her up more and then use her like a wet rag at a car wash!

[Female First]

Suge Knight, a football coach?

Suge Knight is considering quitting the rap business to coach football. Is he crazy? Like it's that easy. The founder of Death Row Records wants to go into the streets of L.A. and turn gang members into athletes.

He said: "I'm at a point where probably in the next couple of years I'm gonna go coach football,"

"It's something I enjoy. I don't need a paycheck for it."

I guess if someone wanted to do it, Suge would be the guy. He's 325lbs and used to play football for the Oakland Raiders. Just don't piss him off or you're going to get shanked!

[Page Six]

Lizzie Grubman for Range Rover!

Lizzie Grubman's PR company have received a new client in Range Rover. This is pretty ironic since Lizzie drove her own SUV into a crowd of people which sent her to jail and made her an overnight household name.

One shocked source said: "It's almost as if O.J. Simpson was doing ads for knives."
But Lizzie insists she has nothing to do with this and won't really even be involved with the account. She said: "My company was hired by Range Rover. I don't have anything to do with the account."

Just don't give her one to test drive. But if you do, make sure she test drives right in front of the home of Star Jones!

[Page Six]

Divorces! Divorces!

Seems like yesterday was the day to get divorced? Did you jump on the band wagon? Well, Kathy Griffin sure did. Kathy who recently starred in her own reality show My Life on The D-List has filed for divorce from her husband of 4 years. The reason? Irreconcilable differences, of course. Kathy has also asked that assets be divided and has denied spousal support. They looked so fucking happy on TV! And he lost so much weight. Oh well, marriage ain't for everyone!

And in a much less successful marriage, Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush have split after only 5 months of marriage. Like didn't we all see this coming? There were many rumors that Chad was out fucking around. A spokeswhore for Sophia confirmed the split , but wouldn't go into details.

Looks like Chad is free to spread his seed without guilt!

[Jossip] and [Teen People]

The Dlisted Report

Edward Norton and Colin Farrell are in talks to join the cast of Pride and Glory. Norton is poised to play a homicide detective who is assigned to investigate the precinct run by his older brother (Emmerich). Farrell plays the investigator's best friend, a cop in that precinct who might be dirty himself. Shooting may begin this January in New York City. [Variety]

Ex-Real World star, Jacinda Barrett will star alongside Jon Heder and Billy Bob Thornton in School for Scandals. Barrett will play the dream girl of a hapless meter reader who enrolls in a confidence-building class so he can win her heart. The scheming professor quickly sets his sights on the girl. Jacinda is currently shooting Poseidon. [Variety]

Lars Von Trier will make The Manager of It All his next film. He plans to shoot in February of next year with only a budget of $3.5 Million. He will also shoot it in 6-weeks. Lars will also only use one microphone. [Coming Soon]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Michael K tries on panties and likes it! - Anonymous 4:31pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Kathy Kirby

Birthday Sluts

Avril Lavigne (21)
Amanda Detmer (34)
A Martinez (57)
Meat Loaf (58)

Say Something Nice

Lizzie Grubman: Oh..um..er..this is a hard one..em...ugh...She can drive really fast!

I just got Punk'D!

Jossip is reporting that the big news of the weekend that being Ashton Kutcher's marriage to Demi Moore was one big publicity stunt! Apparently Ashton is using it for the season premiere of his show Punk'D! John. B Meyers who runs the site AshtonHacked.com sent the following note to Jossip:

I wanted to let you know that the Us "exclusive" about Ashton and Demi getting married is WRONG. Ashton Kutcher is pulling a series of elaborate pranks on the news media for the premiere of his MTV show PUNK'D. I have inside information on this (see e-mail below). I am willing to talk exclusively with the highest bidder.

I'm sending this out to a dozen news orgs simultaneously, so write back ASAP if you are interested. Would be a shame to have Us Punk'd without being able to write the retraction yourselves.

I'm so confused! Or is this John B. bitch trying to punk us? Or is it that I really don't care. I'm not sure which one, but I'll let you know when I come up with the answer!

[Jossip]

Don Adams is dead!

Read Full Story

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the real celeb!

Congrats to Anonymous 3:24pm for getting it right first!

Janet's fat again!

Samantha Jones: Godmother?

Brit Brit Spears is reportedly going to ask Samantha Jones herself, Kim Cattrall to be her baby Godmother. Kim and Brit Brit became fast friends when they met on that fiasco of a film Crossroads. Brit Brit loves Kim and can't wait to ask her to care for Sean Preston.

Maybe Kim can teach Sean Preston all about oral sex when he gets older. Isn't that how Brit Brit learned? Isn't Brit Brit part of the Kabbalah? Do they do that sort of shit?

[Monsters and Critics]

And they rode into the sunset!

Brangelina made a rare apperance together! They were sans the kid and decided to have some grown-up time by biking out. God, they are such rebels!

Add this to my Christmas list!

Sometimes, I want the trashiest things!

[Ad Rant]

Desperate Housewives--over it?

What did you all think of Desperate Housewives last night? I'm sort of over it. Don't get me wrong, there was some hot shit. Marcia Cross and Nicolette Sheridan are two of the hottest bitches around. They need to get into a catfight! And I'm really into Alfre Woodard's story. That is one cold bitch. But I'm over Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Teri Snatcher. It's the same thing every episode with them.

Jesse Metcalfe is hot, but didn't anyone notice last night that if you film him from a certain angle it looks like he has boobs?



Still, this picture is hot.

Princess Xtina at her Bachelorette party!

Xtina and her friends dropped it like it's hot in Cabo San Lucas this past weekend to celebrate her upcoming wedding. Bitch could give Brit Brit a run for her white-trash money. She needs to lay off the tanner and red lipstick, seriously.

I want your fart!

George Michael confessed that he once got super smashed and decided to go to church with his boyfriend and 3 friends! But he totally ruined Baby Jesus' birthday due to his constant farting during the ceremony!

He said: "Some friends had joined me and Kenny for the holiday, and having watched some dreadful Xmas telly and downed a few bottles of vino, decided to go to church for midnight mass. . "We all shuffled noisily into the pew closest to the church door. We were all sitting at the back giggling uncontrollably because one of us had just farted" .

I used to hate church so much, that's why I don't go anymore. If someone had a farting problem next to me, shit that would be a warm welcome. Literally!

[Female First]

Kate Moss keeps Rimmel!

Kate Moss issued an apology for being caught doing coke last week and it seemed to have impress the people at Rimmel. Kate, being used to being dumped by her employers knew she had to do something. Rimmel accepted her apology and have decided against letting her go.

The company has asked Kate to go back into rehab, but she was already planning to do so.

A spokesperson for Rimmel said: "We are pleased to acknowledge the statement released by Kate apologizing for her recent actions"

Okay, I think this whole thing is pretty tired now. So unless something shocking happens, I'm over this shit. She did coke, got caught, got dumped, blah blah blah... Your typical girl meets coke story.

[Female First]

Technical Difficulties

Today I'm having some issues with the pictures. So, posting is going to be a little slow today. I apologize! Go make me a cake while I'm fixing this shit!

Anything low carb!

UPDATE - Look like everything is cool now. Let me know if you bitches have anymore problems.

Can't you just keep some things to yourself?

Esther promised that her next album Confessions from a Dancefloor was going to be an entirely dance album. So I thought that this meant she was going to drop all the spiritual shit and just try and have a good time without taking herself too seriously. But looks like it was all wishful thinking on my part.

Esther has penned a track called Isaac which is about the 16th century cleric who founded the Kabbalah.

Fuck, wasn't Oh Ashanti or whatever it was called, good enough? This bitch needs to take a nap and stop being so fucking stuffy!

[Female First]

Jacko's Macho Makeover!

Um, I had to think about it. But no, I wouldn't hit that!

[JJB]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH sexy actress — known for dating a crazy rocker and a media man — is now in a full-fledged affair with a successful Latino director? Problem is: He's married and has no plans to leave his wife.

Rose McGowan is actress (she dated Marilyn Manson & Dave Zinczenko of Men's Health) , Robert Rodriguez is director

WHICH club promoter lures super-skinny stars and their entourages to her clubs by being their drug supplier? Some say it won't be long until someone overdoses and her secret is exposed.

Amanda Demme

[Page Six]

Vanessa Paradis has some jacked up teeth!

And that's her daughter with Johnny Depp. Damn she just looks like her papa!!

The Dlisted Report

Nicole Kidman is a busy woman. She has signed on to another film called Headhunters. The screenplay, centering on four New Jersey women who jet to Monte Carlo and pretend to be rich heiresses in hopes of landing wealthy husbands. There, they are targeted by four down-on-their-luck gigolos trying to pass as wealthy playboys. [Variety]

Jodie Foster's Flightplan was the #1 movie this weekend bringing in $24.4 Million. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride was close bringing in $20 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Oprah Winfrey has joined the producing team of The Color Purple the Musical which makes its Broadway debut November 1st. Oprah has invested $1 Million into the show. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Even Captain Hook mistook Nicole for a lost boy. - Mandee

Hot Slut of the Day!

BernNadette Stanis

Birthday Sluts

Olivia Newton-John (57)
Plague (16)
Christina Milian (24)
Serena Williams (24)
James Caviezel (37)
Ben Shenkman (37)
Linda Hamilton (49)
Bryan Ferry (60)
Anne Robinson (61)

Mischa's boyfriend is so skeezy!

He looks like a gay pimp! But her dress is seriously hot.

Affleck is such a tool!

Was it EVEN that cold in L.A. yesterday?

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the real celeb!

Congrats to Kristi for being the first one to get it right!

Hot Slut of the Week: Ms. Pac Man

Age: 24
Birthday: 1981
Birth Name: Ms. Pac Man

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: September 22, 2005
Claim to Fame: Being Pac-Man's bitch!

Where is she now? Still eating tiny white dots!

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Because she wears hot boots and is such a slut!

Demi & Ashton make it legal!

UsWeekly is reporting that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got married last night in Beverly Hills.

Us Weekly is the first news outlet in the world to report that Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, got married Saturday night at a Beverly Hills home in a ceremony in front of more than 100 of their closest friends and family, according to several sources close to the couple. ''It was very last minute,'' one guest told Us. Kutcher's publicist declined to confirm the nuptials, and when asked to confirm the wedding, Moore's publicist Stephen Huvane simply declined comment to Us.

Standing before a crowd that included actors Bruce Willis and Wilmer Valderrama, actress Lucy Liu, Moore's three daughters and their closest family and friends, the couple, followers of the ancient spiritual practice of Kabbalah, exchanged vows in a brief but traditional ceremony. ''Most everyone was dressed formally,'' a source at the wedding told Us.

It is the third marriage for Moore, who separated from her second husband, actor Bruce Willis, in 1998 (she was married to musician Freddie Moore for four years in the early 1980s). It is the first walk down the aisle for Kutcher, producer and star of the MTV reality show Punk'd and former star of Fox's That '70s Show, who dated actress Brittany Murphy before he began dating the veteran film actress Moore in early 2003.

I wonder if Demi let Ashton drink some champagne. Probably not, but I'm sure she let him stay up past 9pm!

Congrats to both of them! I give it 8 months!

Butch from Little Rascals is Dead!

Full Story

Fall's Must-Have Accessory: The Monkey!

Yup, that's Fergie!

Lenny Kravitz's daughter is hot shit!

Jeremy Piven Dirt!

Jeremy Piven of Entourage fame has been in the gossip rags recently being branded a party bitch and a diva. A source of Dlisted worked closely with Jeremy on a project and can confirm that he's a complete asshole! PerezHilton reported that Jeremy has hair plugs, but our source said that he actually uses spray-on fucking hair! It's this special fiber-glass sort of shit and it's super nasty. Jeremy had a scene with an actress where they had to cuddle and shit and the actress walked away from the scene with his spray-on hair all over her fucking face! Gross!

My source said Jeremy Piven (who stands at 5'9'') wears lifts in his shoes!

Whether it's spray-on hair or plugs, that bitch has something going on up there! I'd still hit that.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Keren Woodward of Bananarama

Birthday Sluts

Heather Locklear (44)
Clea DuVall (28)
Bridgette Wilson (32)
Catherine Zeta-Jones (36)
Hal Sparks (36)
Will Smith (37)
Tate Donovan (42)
Michael Douglas (61)